Land of Eem: Actual Play
Join Ben Costa, James Parks, and George Higgins as they play the Land of Eem tabletop roleplaying game, inspired by the series of fantasy books: Dungeoneer Adventures and Rickety Stitch and the Gelatinous Goo.
Ben Costa and James Parks are the creators of Dungeoneer Adventures, Rickety Stitch and the Gelatinous Goo, and the tabletop roleplaying game, Land of Eem. They have been friends since the 2nd grade, and love making stuff together.
Lovers of fantasy, they strive to craft tales that celebrate the adventures of unlikely heroes. Ben and James grew up playing tabletop roleplaying games, creating countless characters and collaborative worlds with our pals, a pastime that paved the way for their creative careers, as authors and illustrators.
Land of Eem is a tabletop roleplaying published in partnership with indie game publisher, Exalted Funeral. and is about adventurers exploring and discovering the remnants of a forgotten better age. Described as The Lord of the Rings meets The Muppets, players portray lore-seeking travelers, fortune-seeking pioneers, and adventure-seeking heroes in a time devoid of them. But for all its post-apocalyptic doom and gloom, Land of Eem is tonally quite lighthearted and droll.
Dungeoneer Adventures is a fun, middle-grade fantasy adventure series from Simon & Schuster, about the only human kid attending the adventure school, Dungeoneer Academy. The books are packed with illustrations and available at Target, Barnes & Noble, and Amazon, or you can ask for them wherever books are sold.
Rickety Stitch and the Gelatinous Goo is a fun YA graphic novel series from Random House, about a skeleton bard and his best friend on an epic quest to discover who he was when he was alive. The books are available through Exalted Funeral or online at Amazon, and you can ask for them wherever books are sold.
For more visit:
https://landofeem.com
Land of Eem: Actual Play
Land of Eem: Fantasy Actual Play S02E07 | Of Golden Wyverns and Chatty Spiders
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Ever wondered if you could tame a golden wyvern or found yourself reminiscing about the golden days of Pokémon and Yu-Gi-Oh? Join Ben Costa and James Parks, creators of Rickety Stitch and the Gelatinous Goo and Dungeoneer Adventures, alongside lead playtester and close friend George Higgins, as they dive into another thrilling episode of the Land of Eem TTRPG, set in the Mucklands Campaign Sandbox Setting and published by Exalted Funeral.
This session introduces newcomer, the barbarian, as the party takes on the challenges of the Land of Eem. From venom mix-ups to debates about horse-sized ducks, the laughter flows as the group navigates hexes, battles exhaustion, and outsmarts their eight-legged adversary, a chatty inkpot spider.
The tension rises in the highlands as the party debates whether to engage the majestic golden wyvern or simply marvel at its splendor. When the dice roll, it’s a spectacular cascade of critical hits and dramatic fails, leading to moments of pure suspense and elation. Riley’s mighty d12 rolls add a new dynamic to the group, especially when spoils of war ignite debates on the scientific versus the glorious.
As the session winds down, the party plans their next grand undertaking. Will they journey to the lumber-filled Logjam or the endangered Last Tree? The choices ripple through the story, shaping the fate of the Land of Eem and sparking excitement for what’s to come.
Perfect for fans of Fantasy Actual Play, Collaborative Storytelling RPGs, Rules-Light Indie RPGs, and the vibrant TTRPG community, this episode offers a thrilling blend of strategy, camaraderie, and humor.
Download the Land of Eem Quickstart Guide for FREE, and roll the dice for more unforgettable adventures today!
https://linktr.ee/landofeem
Hey, hey Hi.
Speaker 2:Hi guys.
Speaker 3:How's it going? There we are, oh man, I'm doing so great Happy to hear it, dude.
Speaker 1:That makes me it's been fantastic.
Speaker 3:I'm looking forward to a long weekend. Actually, you have a long weekend. I do have a long weekend. I have Monday off, which came as a surprise to me. I didn't find out until yesterday.
Speaker 1:Hi Lena, How's it going?
Speaker 3:Hey Lena, hey Lena, Welcome, welcome, welcome. Wait is Monday a holiday, it's President's Day. Oh, my good gosh, I'm taking some time out for myself to work on the Land of Eme RPG on Monday.
Speaker 2:Because you're the El Presidente of.
Speaker 3:Land of Eme.
Speaker 1:Yeah, ben is obviously the Emperor, the Emperor, I'm the Emperor GM, okay, the G Emperor. I rule with an iron fist George.
Speaker 3:You just fueled him. He's an iron One Muppet fist one iron fist.
Speaker 1:Yeah, the Land of Eem, land of Eem, land of Eme, land of Eme. So this is the seventh session of season two Season two.
Speaker 3:The 27th in totes and on an intimate seventh session of Land of Eme RPG.
Speaker 1:What happened last time? You kind of went back to dunk with your tail between your legs after saving Crazy Ernie.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yep, we got him though.
Speaker 1:We got him. You saved some other prisoners too.
Speaker 3:Yeah, Mindy Plasterpot, Bogrel Apothecary has an eyepatch and joins us.
Speaker 1:It's true.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and what was our? I think we've come here to like rest and heal and now we're like at the beginning of a new leg of the adventure we're headed out. I feel like we wanted to resolve the golden wyvern. That's right. I always forget that we're going to go take the golden wyvern. That's right. I always forget that we're going to go take out that wyvern.
Speaker 1:Urchley has given you some good time.
Speaker 3:She's given us an inch and we've taken a mile.
Speaker 1:That's what she's done. She's put a lot of time into this group, foolishly so, which is going to make this party wipe all the funnier.
Speaker 3:Yeah, she's going to be the lone survivor and we're both going to roleplay. We'll switch off every other turn.
Speaker 2:Like a two-headed ogre.
Speaker 3:I actually roleplayed an NPC because Riley was captured. Now she's back, life's good and we're about to begin our adventures.
Speaker 1:I like it. So yeah, is there anything you want to do? In town before you go on this deadly expedition to hunt the golden wyvern.
Speaker 3:Anti-venom we got. So last time or two times ago, we got some singe viper venom right. No, we got venom from yeah, sargog venom here's something funny guys yeah, it's actually not venomous.
Speaker 1:Yes, it's true, yeah I just captured some slime, it is true yeah, it's actually mitch.
Speaker 3:we captured you like open the jar, and it's the charge of Latin as good. Oh, sorry guys, that's me yeah, uh, sorry yeah.
Speaker 1:Are not poisonous, but they have huge, needle sharp teeth. That's what it says in the book.
Speaker 3:Okay, I'm just going by raw Whoa, whoa whoa, whoa, whoa, but uh, okay, the GM told us we got venom from it.
Speaker 1:You had faulty information. I'm not blaming it on the narrative.
Speaker 2:Okay, yeah.
Speaker 3:This is high quality.
Speaker 1:I'm going to affirm you to death. Look either way, whatever you got is not going to help against this level 10 wyvern. It's level 10?vern.
Speaker 3:It's level 10.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah, have you guys heard about?
Speaker 3:Pokemon. Indeed, we have. I played a what is it Sword. No, I bought shield this year, last year. Wow, I can't believe it's 2021 already. It's good times. We do love the Pokemons. George is a Pokemons Pokemon we do love the Pokemons.
Speaker 1:George is a Pokemons Pokemonia. I actually fact checked some Pokemon graphic novels, the manga, oh yeah, when I was working for Viz Media.
Speaker 3:See Ben's name in those.
Speaker 1:I actually have one right here. I just got it in the mail. Prove it. I got it in the mail. It's all dusty, though on my desk here. You got it in the mail like. Prove it. I got it in the mail. It's all dusty, though, on my desk here. You got it in the mail, like yesterday.
Speaker 3:Yeah, but it came with it, no like a couple months ago. It came covered in dust.
Speaker 1:Look at that.
Speaker 3:There you go. We're getting a copyright struck, guys.
Speaker 1:I did some, you know, editing of translation a little bit. See, look, can't see it my name's there.
Speaker 3:Enhance, enhance. Oh, ultra Sun. Did I play Ultra Sun? I love all these pit shots. Is that the island one? I did not play Ultra Sun.
Speaker 2:That's awesome.
Speaker 3:Lena. Poke mains. I can't stop saying that because of you, george. Now you've just broken my brain. Poke mains, the quest is over. We've got to go craft a Pokeball and catch the Wyvern I've got to get a DS.
Speaker 1:That's not a bad idea. I want to capture the this over. We gotta go craft a Pokeball and catch the Wyvern.
Speaker 3:True, I mean, that's not a bad idea. Okay, I want to capture the Wyvern. If he can be my tamed pet, I'm down. He's level 10. I don't care, the GM said it was not a bad idea. How are we going to capture this thing? I thought we just had to kill it, right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's about. Well, urchley wants to kill it and bring its head back to the big fame hunters.
Speaker 3:Quagmash, oh I see, has this wyvern created lots of panic and chaos.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean. Several hunters have died in the pursuit of this Trying to stop this monstrous creature.
Speaker 3:Okay, so do we have any kind of plan? No, hunters have died in the pursuit of this, trying to stop this monstrous creature. Okay, um, so do we have any kind of plan? No, my, my plan was the anti-venom, because we're going to get Poisson, but uh, this is not looking great. Um, I say to Urshley uh, we're going to say then it says off with its head.
Speaker 3:Yeah yeah yeah, yeah, we should get like a giant net or something or like get smart about taking on a level 10 creature. I asked Archie how she was planning on dealing with the venomous aspect of the golden wyvern.
Speaker 1:Well, I have a blunderbuss. I was hoping to uh, you know, just keep it at range and kite it and kite it all the way back to dunk.
Speaker 3:Let the guards take care of it, got it? I like this plan. It's not a bad plan. Kite it, but we don't get the glory, then that's the problem, guys are that's unless we do at least half the damage. If you don't do more than 50% damage, you don't get the credit. I mean, for the time sake, though, should we do our dailies before we do this plan, just like?
Speaker 2:You have to.
Speaker 3:I don't want to die with cooldown still on the table, oh Listen.
Speaker 1:You can buy Some anti-venom, some legit Like, properly made, listen. You can buy some anti-venom. Some legit like properly made. Expensive anti-venom we should do it.
Speaker 3:Yeah Well, you know, it's like the GM keeps moving the goalposts with regards to our venom. I'm just saying no, yeah, Can we go to? The George is on board. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I turn to what's your name? What's your name? What's your name, mindy? Plasterpot, bogrel Apothecary. I say, mindy, would it be cheaper for us to have you make?
Speaker 1:anti-venom. If we can get the raw, what do you need? Singe Viper, venom and Throngweed Bless you. Well, I mean, that's like an entire quest in itself to go get those opponents.
Speaker 3:Oh, so they wouldn't stock them in the Apothecary Shop at Dunk.
Speaker 1:Probably be less likely.
Speaker 3:Hmm, Easier to just buy already made Antivenom. It sounds like.
Speaker 1:You can make a realms check to see if you can find a spot that has the raw materials, raw mats yeah, that's a 13.
Speaker 2:Whoa nice roll Galen.
Speaker 1:Whoa look at this guy, yeah, he knows some stuff. Whoa nice roll, galen. Whoa look at this guy, yeah, trying to show me up, he knows some stuff Show me up. Yeah, okay, you find a place. It's a nice little shop.
Speaker 3:Is it 40 hexagrands away from us?
Speaker 1:No, it's in Dunk, okay good. No, it's in dunk, okay good and um, that'll be silver for each silver for each of the components.
Speaker 3:Uh ben, let me ask you, what would it have cost for the anti-venom a gold? Yeah okay, I had a feeling all right, a gourd a goal, and how many doses of anti-venom is this going to give us?
Speaker 1:uh, I want to say like eight. The default is two on everything that you make we can deal with two.
Speaker 3:I think that yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, all alchemy. Consumables have two uses by default.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 1:Unless the crafting check alters the results.
Speaker 3:So I'll spend a gold pouch and get a silver pouch in exchange, right, because it's a gold that's worth three silver.
Speaker 1:Um All right, because it's a gold, that's worth three silver? No that doesn't go both ways.
Speaker 3:I just roll, okay, so then I'll roll with a silver pouch. I have one silver pouch.
Speaker 1:So you can't trade down.
Speaker 3:That's unfortunate. I get what you're saying, all right, so then I'm going to have to spend the gold pouch anyways. Does that make sense? Because I have one gold, one silver, one copper, and if I don't, yeah, so I have to use the gold anyways. So then I might as well just buy the anti-venom.
Speaker 1:Cool, cool.
Speaker 3:Okay, we'll do that. It's a world of bartering man.
Speaker 1:You're blaming me here.
Speaker 3:I'm blaming, I'm blaming, I'm blaming.
Speaker 2:I'm blaming.
Speaker 3:What do I roll A D to determine it's still a D6, right? Okay, don't spend all the gold?
Speaker 2:I think it is.
Speaker 3:Gold's still a D6, right? I think it is.
Speaker 1:No, no, no.
Speaker 3:No, it's not.
Speaker 1:Gold is a D Eight ten D10?.
Speaker 3:What the heck? I didn't know that that makes sense. It's like the rations. Yeah, it's the same principle. Um, that's a seven, so it just turns into silver now. Okay, so we have two silver pouch, one gold pouch. No, no, gold pouch, one copy, and you're keeping track of all the money, because I have nothing on my character sheet. I had a feeling that it was just easier to have one person keep track of it. Um, yeah, okay. So I say uh, you know? Oh, what's her name? What's?
Speaker 2:her name? What's her name?
Speaker 3:Mindy. I see, Mindy, you know maybe we'll just buy it. It seems like a whole lot of mess to go through with the mixing, so uh yeah, um, yeah, she feels slighted.
Speaker 3:She has all of her tools out. I give her some back to her back. Yeah, I help, I help put them away. I say no, no, really, I'm sorry. I didn't realize that the cost would be. I thought we were going to save money this way, but it looks like it's just going to cost more money. Uh, that's fine. Yeah, no, no, no, no, it's fine, that's fine. I'm sorry. I'll just. I'll say to mindy like he can be a jerk sometimes.
Speaker 2:I wasn't a jerk. I wasn't being a jerk.
Speaker 1:No, no, don't worry about it. You're being a jerk. Stop it. You're making this awkward, okay.
Speaker 3:It was awkward like a minute ago. Yeah, okay, so then we have some anti-venom, which is good. I tell Archly that, given the options, I will choose my life and Riley's life over hers with regard to anti-venom.
Speaker 1:I don't say that, oh well, yeah, I don't plan on getting too close to the thing myself.
Speaker 3:You gotta keep your distance.
Speaker 1:okay, yeah, you're gonna be in there in the thing myself. You got to keep your distance, okay. Yeah, you're going to be in there in the front lines. Meet you.
Speaker 3:You're Gurg? I say Irmgard, Okay, so what else Do we need? Anything else for our trek rather.
Speaker 1:You tell me, man, you tell me.
Speaker 3:I'm asking James, or I'm asking rightly, can you think of anything else? I've got food, I've got supplies, I've got slime that was once mitch venom of uh yeah, uh, okay, then I guess we can. We can head out of Dunk on a grand adventure to find this golden weapon. The adventure begins.
Speaker 1:Have we heard of Yu-Gi-Oh? Totally, we are ancient people that have heard of all of these things.
Speaker 3:Indeed. That is a name I have not heard in a long time. We are ancient people Dang old, blue eyes, white dragons, baby Blue eyes, white that is a name I have not heard in a long time. We are ancient people Dang old, blue eyes, white dragons, baby Blue eyes, white dragons. Look at that. I have approximate knowledge of one aspect of each of these things you've mentioned. George is a repository for all things Yu-Gi-Oh and Pokemon. He knows everything. He's being modest, it's not true, but it's true.
Speaker 1:Sure One of you make a realms check as you begin this journey into the highlands.
Speaker 3:I have to you, riley, I've made one realms check today, seven oh.
Speaker 2:No no Six, six six six. Oh.
Speaker 1:Okay, roll a d6. You know the drill it's a bump in the road.
Speaker 2:A three Magnificent three. What?
Speaker 1:Exhaustion. You've taken a difficult path into the high wilds. Everyone is tired. Roll with disadvantage on any healing of courage.
Speaker 3:Good thing we're already fully courageous, yeah.
Speaker 1:You guys move your piece.
Speaker 3:De resistance. Two hexes, two hexagreens, two hexagreens Enhance. I zoomed in. I can see everything Enhance. All right, so that's one leg.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so you guys are in the high wilds. It's a matter of searching hexes. Now, like you have to search an area, yeah.
Speaker 3:For tracks and whatnot.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so it takes one leg to explore a single hex.
Speaker 3:Well, yeah, so I guess we can take this next leg and explore the current hexes we're in. That's 12 on that. So you want a search check, ben, or do you want a realms check still?
Speaker 1:make a search search eat.
Speaker 3:You know what? Do I want to spend a quest point? No, I'm going to save all my quest points for combat with this thing. I agree, yeah, I agree, I was thinking the same thing. I'm like I'm going to save all my quest points for combat with this thing. I agree. Yeah, I agree, I was thinking the same thing. I'm like I only got three.
Speaker 1:What does it mean?
Speaker 3:Roll, oh, oh, never mind, roll a d6 roll out with the top down, me and my homies with the top down three you guys are double exhausted, oh no. I don't even know how that works.
Speaker 2:Riley just teeters in place and then goes straight down into the mud.
Speaker 3:She must not be healed from her wounds or something. I got a stitch in my side. I can't do this, alright, let's just sit down and rest. Just at that moment, the wyvern comes bounding out of the bushes For the fight of our lives.
Speaker 1:Yeah Well, it's already been a full day. You spent the entire second part of the already been a full day. You spent the entire second part of the day combing this area.
Speaker 3:You came up short. It's like that scene in Space Balls.
Speaker 1:And you're tired yeah.
Speaker 3:Oh dear, it's happening.
Speaker 2:It's happening. It's happening. I'm able to feel it.
Speaker 3:Let's be out, let's be out. There's 10 horse-sized ducks.
Speaker 1:And they're starving.
Speaker 3:Yeah, they take all your clam bread.
Speaker 1:Well, they take all your clam bread, Uh well.
Speaker 3:I'm going to re-roll what no big boy rules. Come on, hit us with it. Hit us with it, we can take it All right. No, I don't know if I, you pick. Whichever one between those two is more fun, ben.
Speaker 1:Okay, uh well, don't know. You pick whichever one between those two is more fun, ben Well, you know, you guys sat down for rest and food.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And you realize that something's dripping from above.
Speaker 3:Oh dear, I say is it raining? This is the worst. Maybe it is dear. Is it raining? This is the worst. Maybe it is Mitch. None of us look up, though.
Speaker 2:How to derail adventure.
Speaker 3:We ignore it, we go to sleep, we have a wonderful night.
Speaker 1:I'm going to reach for it. We're splattered. With black inky web. Oh no, I got gack, oh boy.
Speaker 3:My eyes.
Speaker 1:It's double dare.
Speaker 3:Wow, yes.
Speaker 1:It's an inkpot spider George.
Speaker 3:Yes, I think it's a hot spider, george Yep. The writing's on my face. I jump up, I pull my sword and I say have at thee. And I can't see anything.
Speaker 1:Five, six. It's a six against you because of your defense.
Speaker 3:Mm defense. So how much damage does it do?
Speaker 1:No damage.
Speaker 3:Oh, but does that mean, I still can?
Speaker 2:counter attack it squirts you with web.
Speaker 1:No, because it's not close to you. It's not like in striking range. Uh, james, what's your defense?
Speaker 3:my defense is plus one plus one.
Speaker 1:Okay, it also hits you.
Speaker 2:Oh no.
Speaker 3:So you're both entangled. I mean that's our default relationship status Wow, sorry, sorry, not sorry.
Speaker 1:So now both of your defenses are plus two, which means I guess you have plus three.
Speaker 2:And you can't move until you break free.
Speaker 3:Until we break free. Okay, okay, I'm going to attempt. Are there ten inkpot spiders.
Speaker 1:No no. There's one, okay, all right.
Speaker 3:Didn't know which one.
Speaker 2:This is the episode where we die. It's certain, I feel it.
Speaker 1:So what do you want to do? It's your turn.
Speaker 3:That's fine, I'm going to have. Can I have my Uh-huh go ahead? Yeah, you can have your mount do something, I was gonna say on your turn, you can attempt a might or nimbleness check to escape I was gonna have my mount try to just come scoop me up like right over and break me free with the sheer force of her body and throw me in her back, like she scoops her head between my legs and pops it up and just keeps going and I'm like riding atop her.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean, there's chance that she just gets stuck.
Speaker 3:Totally fine, I accept it.
Speaker 2:He accepts the chance.
Speaker 3:She's my faithful steed. This is a complicated order that I'm gonna try to have her do yeah, I'm gonna give it minus one okay, alright, let's do it. Let's do it. So wilderness check. Minus one. So it's only plus one. That's an eight I will use. No, I'm gonna use the quest point. I'm just gonna do it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, all right um fb, fb probably fb gets you free, but now she is stuck but it was a nine. No, okay, that's cool I thought oh, you did use it. I did use it, yes, okay.
Speaker 3:But it was only momentarily stuck before the momentum and sheer girth and mass of her carried her through the webbing.
Speaker 2:And now.
Speaker 1:I'm mounted.
Speaker 3:Like a locomotive.
Speaker 1:James.
Speaker 3:I'm going to attempt to break free with nimbleness. I need to break free 13.
Speaker 1:Nice, nice For good measure.
Speaker 3:I do a backflip out of it Just like look at George and salute him. Yeah, I give you like a fist bump in the air. It's awkward.
Speaker 1:Okay, now it's turn to attack you. Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. I guess, George, you could attack.
Speaker 3:Well, I want to attack, but wouldn't the order like me, ordering my steed would be my action, Because faithful steed, I think, counts as an action right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, sure, yeah.
Speaker 3:As much as I want an attack, I think that's how we've been treating it. I'm hoping for a counterattack. Yeah, a counterattack, yeah, a counterattack.
Speaker 2:A counter.
Speaker 1:Alright.
Speaker 3:Shall. We perceive. Tacks Galen with its fangs. Okay, yes, that's a counterattack. Even though it hits me, it's still an 8. Yeah, that's a counterattack. Even though it hits me, it's still an 8.
Speaker 3:That's some dread. Once per combat, shrug it off. Oh, that's once per session, shrug it off. I'm going to save that for the Wyvern. I accept your dread. I've taken my temporary HPs and 2 points of damage, so I'm 14 out of 16. And I counter your dread. I've taken my temporary HPs and two points of damage, so I'm at 14 out of 16. And I counterattack it. Oh, I miss. Oh, and I'm mounted and I have my shield, so let me use those before I forget. So it's one less damage. So I've only taken one damage. And my shield, I think, is 1d4, once per combat blocked. So I block with a shield. I roll a d4, I only block one of the damage. So I'm at 16 out of 16, that's fine.
Speaker 1:All right, and it also attacks.
Speaker 3:Riley Fast forward to tomorrow in the morning, when we're all crawling back into Dunk Poisoned.
Speaker 1:It's crazy out there. That is a 7, 8 against you, so you could counterattack. I am going to counterattack.
Speaker 3:Elena says do you guys like Star Wars? And I totally love Star Wars, Star Wars is the best, and so I'm going to Empire Strikes Back shirt.
Speaker 1:I got everything you like, I got everything you like.
Speaker 3:Ben has actually made his own Star Wars RPG system that I wish we you like. Ben has actually made his own Star Wars RPG system. That I wish we could stream we could stream it, I'm going to channel. Luke Skywalker and do my counterattack. I hit four.
Speaker 1:Which is nada. It's a miss. It's a miss with a plus. What's the plus Plus is, ooh, jake's three dread, by the way.
Speaker 3:Is it hanging from a tree or anything, Ben? Is that what it's doing, or is it on the ground now?
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's kind of you guys planted right under a tree with its web, so it's like hanging maybe the plus is that he knocks the webbing, or something I was gonna say like I may have missed, but I've got a nice easy shot against the strand of web that's holding the spider up in the air.
Speaker 3:I'm going to try to attack that and have it fall. I like it, obi-wan cannoli.
Speaker 1:What's Jedi's favorite?
Speaker 3:Italian dessert Obi-Wan cannoli. Oh, keep those coming.
Speaker 1:I love it. Speaking of puns. Okay, speaking of puns, check out. Yeah, all right, it's a good time for a pun quest.
Speaker 3:Speaking of puns, check out our Kickstarter on Pungent Quest. Some would call it a chick starter.
Speaker 1:I'm going to link it. There you go.
Speaker 3:Link it to chat. Benny boy Pungent Quest.
Speaker 1:All right, sorry, you're going to have to repeat what just happened.
Speaker 3:We criticaled the inkpot spider and now we're going to sell it's ink.
Speaker 1:Oh, okay With the web.
Speaker 3:Oh, I was just going to say I missed the spider, but now I've got a really good shot at the strand of web that's holding it up in the air. So, like next turn, I'm going to try to swipe the web and make it fall to the ground, Because I figured it's going like whoa, like from above us.
Speaker 1:Yeah. It's repelling with its butt web. Alright, next round Butt web time, butt web. Butt web time. It Butt web time, butt web Butt web time Three.
Speaker 3:It's butt web time. Let me roll. Ooh, it's a one, but you know what it's? Okay, I got that out of the way. Where's Bernard? Actually, it's a four. I rolled a four. It matters. We're both on the back foot. We're turning on our heels, so to speak.
Speaker 1:Okay, george, you are attacked. Georg, that is a miss with a plus.
Speaker 3:Ben no, that's a counterattack. Still, unless I'm no longer, oh, because I'm no longer penalized, yeah, I no longer have a plus. Okay, all right, missed with a plus, you Maybe. I'm kind of a little bit knocked off my balance as it tries to swipe at me when I'm on the back of my mount, so I have a minus one to my next attack.
Speaker 1:I was going to add some web in there.
Speaker 3:I was trying to add web in there.
Speaker 1:man, you get caught a little bit in some web.
Speaker 3:So I have a minus one to my next attack.
Speaker 2:No no, go on.
Speaker 1:What are you going to say, Um no, you can't move.
Speaker 3:I can't dismount my mount because my butt is glued to my mouth. Yeah, okay, so I'm stuck in place. That's interesting. I spin and attack.
Speaker 1:It attacks James first and he'll oh that'll be a hit. That'll be a hit Shots. Five dread, five dread, he says. It's better. Five dread, five dread, he says.
Speaker 3:It's better than four dread, not just good as six dread Eggs and damage, but it's okay. It's okay. Beans and cornbread. Beans and cornbread. Alright, now it's your turn. Alright, I attack, do it? Kreech? Get that web down. Oof, I hit with a 9. Nice, and this is the maiden voyage for Halbert, the Starfell Halbert that I crafted. Halbert, I'm going to do a d6 plus 2. It's a 4 dread. It's respectable.
Speaker 1:So are you not attacking the web? Are you not attacking the web? You're attacking the oh jeez. Yeah, I meant to attack the web. It's either. I mean Whatever you want.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I wanted to attack the web to make the spider fall to the ground.
Speaker 1:Alright Falls. I'll say it takes a d4 dread from the fall Nice Two dread. Now it is Galen's turn.
Speaker 3:Attack Fight. Hello, bulwark of the Bubbles, master of all that they survive. By this time I've switched to the Magical Red Axe. Of all that they said, I, I. By this time I've switched to the magical red axe. Uh, on a nine plus hit does bleeding damage plus one dread striking per round. Um, and I do d12 damage. Eight, whoa eight plus nine damage yeah, I've damage. I forgot that I had upgraded my dread damage. That's awesome. Ages ago I had been forgetting to put it in.
Speaker 1:You slash this creature across the belly underbelly.
Speaker 3:It sizzles.
Speaker 1:It screeches and starts skittering away into the dark. Oh no, you don't I stop him. Get her right. I grabbed him.
Speaker 3:It's over. We scared it off. No, no, no. But but as you're saying that, I pull over my shoulder, the anti-muckman slam turret and I fire a salvo at the retreating spider.
Speaker 1:Do you really? I do All right, he's going for it. The crit oh my gosh, all right, you cover it in this mucky, sticky blob stuff and it's like wriggling, and it actually starts speaking and says I knew you were going to do it Let me live.
Speaker 3:I'll say hey, we'll let you go, but we need some information.
Speaker 1:What.
Speaker 2:What is it?
Speaker 1:We're looking for a golden wyvern. Have you seen it in this area? The golden one? Oh crap. Yeah, he's been terrorizing villages and we need to take him down. We steer clear of the Golden One.
Speaker 3:Do you know? Is the Golden One near? Is it in this hex A grain? Sorry?
Speaker 1:It is to the east, all right.
Speaker 3:Now are you going to be good and stop randomly attacking adventurers? He's not. Yes, I look at the spider in its eight eyes and I say are you Ilgath, son of Ilgath? I haven't heard of that guy, but Remember the spider in the sewer has been, I do, inkpot spider. Oh okay, I wasn't sure if yeah um so you know gats associated to that I say he's gotta be an ill death yeah, um, so he's not heard of that guy dog.
Speaker 1:I don't know every spider in the world just because I'm an inkpot spider, what do?
Speaker 3:you. I mean, what the heck Is that racist?
Speaker 1:A little bit.
Speaker 3:Well, you attacked us.
Speaker 1:You were just sitting there, right under my web.
Speaker 3:Uh-huh. Reminding our own business just like you were reminding your own business and you had to come down and attack us. Look at this dread I took. I say what will you give us in exchange for your life?
Speaker 1:I just gave you the information.
Speaker 3:You heard the information. Wow, here he goes.
Speaker 2:He's going to be a Felmog Knight. Yep yep.
Speaker 1:I will leave this area.
Speaker 3:Forever I'll say no. No, you can stay, do what you think, but you know, I just, we want safe passage from you and your brethren.
Speaker 1:Well, I can guarantee it from me. But it's not like I said, I don't just hang out With spiders. You know, we all do our own thing.
Speaker 3:You guys don't have a social club or something, or.
Speaker 1:No, we're very solitary creatures. All right, we got a web and we.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I proceed to kind of like cut the spider loose from the gunk.
Speaker 2:I don't Okay.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I do it menacingly, I say all right get out of here.
Speaker 1:Kid, you bothered me, but you said I could stay, oh um we're gonna finish web here, that's like yeah no, you did a good job, very structurally intact, thank you.
Speaker 3:uh, I not going to get a great sleep, riley, I don't know about you.
Speaker 2:I mean, I don't know, I don't mind if he stays.
Speaker 3:Yeah, no, it's fine he just doesn't need us in our sleep.
Speaker 2:Please don't.
Speaker 3:Tell you what if you try that again, he's going to chop your head off.
Speaker 1:So you can go back up to your web, but you know I'm a spider of my word.
Speaker 3:I I am a spider of my word, I am a knight errand of mine.
Speaker 1:Alright.
Speaker 3:She is a shroom of hers.
Speaker 1:I offer everyone pork rice.
Speaker 3:Urshly has just fallen asleep. She's tired of this she didn't wake up.
Speaker 2:Hey, what's going on.
Speaker 3:I've been up the whole time. Oh jeez, you guys want me to fix some eggs or something. Alright, we try to get some sleep.
Speaker 1:You roll a disadvantage on your healing. You must also eat rations.
Speaker 3:Rations yeah, I will cook a ration. Okay, and disadvantage on this, but at least it's four, four, courage, nice.
Speaker 2:Pay grumps.
Speaker 3:All right, next day Did I take more damage than my temporary hit points. Ben or James, did you account for the five temporary hit points? I'm full again then. Then you would be full right. Yeah, I'm back to 14. I think we're both full, all right. So that was a very fortunate, disadvantageous roll. We get up in the morning. We bid our inkpot spider not ill-gath friend adieu.
Speaker 1:Good luck.
Speaker 3:Hey back at you. I hope May your web be full of creatures or whatever.
Speaker 1:We're headed east. You don't mind if I consume your corpse, right?
Speaker 3:You're already dead. I insist as long as you're not the cause of it.
Speaker 2:I insist that's horrifying. I insist that's horrifying.
Speaker 3:I insist, talk about watching the end credits of that story. Yeah, shaking mummy bodies underneath a spider who's drinking? Our blood and it's the Curb your Enthusiasm end credits song.
Speaker 2:Oh east.
Speaker 3:we go Eastward. Curb your enthusiasm and credit. Song playing Ba-da-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba, say 20, you see I was gonna say 13, 20, let's do it. I maybe, uh, the thing got flushed out towards over there yeah, that's.
Speaker 2:It's been a few days though it's been a while.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's already asserted. It's now the prime like animal, or the prime predator, apex predator, the word I was looking for of the Highlands once again.
Speaker 1:Alright, make a search check.
Speaker 3:Boop, boop, boop.
Speaker 1:You want to make this one, thank you. What's my search?
Speaker 3:Plus one Eleven. That's a really good search, well done, eleven I turned to Riley. Go ahead. I was going to say I turn to Riley and I say you ever think Linda the Manticore made it back to the Blunder Bluffs? Okay, I think so. Manticores are pretty hardy. I'd like to believe she did.
Speaker 1:They're hardier than we are. She could have been eaten by a Scrockwing.
Speaker 3:Everyone we are. Yeah, she could have been eaten by a scrock wing Everyone's son.
Speaker 1:They're huge. Yeah, oh jeez, picked out right out of the sky. You know what I mean.
Speaker 3:We get it. Actually, we get it, thanks, thanks. I'm minus one for the rest of the day because my morale is taking a hit.
Speaker 1:Yeah, riley. You lead the group through the dense underbrush and you get to a clearing where you all see this shining golden wyvern, the one that you saw in the sewers. It looks perfectly fine, it looks more golden than ever.
Speaker 3:I turn to Riley and I say it's beautiful, we could never kill such a. And then I hear the cocking of Hercules' blunderbuss.
Speaker 1:She shoots.
Speaker 3:Yep. She shoots, yep, she shoots, she scores.
Speaker 1:You can roll it, Galen, oh God.
Speaker 3:It's a plus one, it's an eight.
Speaker 1:And it's not going to have a counterattack because we're too far. You know what I was thinking about ranged attacks.
Speaker 3:Oh, doesn't it only hit on a 9-plus? I'm sorry.
Speaker 1:Well, I was thinking, yeah, James and I sort of talked about this once. But yeah. Like an aim, Aim like aim option, Like if you're just shooting at a stationary target and you're not under duress or anything, you roll with advantage.
Speaker 3:Oh, I was going to say have you considered 6 to 8 just being a glancing shot and doing a smaller percentage of full damage?
Speaker 1:Like 1?.
Speaker 3:Depends on what's more fun. I don't know what's more fun. I like rolling more dice, though, so I'm going to roll another one, yeah, and if that, if that doesn't work, then I like my thing better.
Speaker 1:The issue like from a a design perspective. Issue with like this whole system is that you don't want to make it too good, or else everyone's just going to be like using a range weapon, not counterattacking each other.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, right. It'll just be like the evolution of man, where we become, you know, people who use range weapons and form skirmish lines and then increase the distance between each other yeah, but I do like the the idea that maybe it's a grazing shot.
Speaker 1:Just I think that something happens even if it's just like one it could be simple.
Speaker 3:it could be like just half half damage or something. Yeah, something to noodle. So, ben, both of those are going to be 6 to 8 range.
Speaker 1:Right now. I'm just going to say it does one dread.
Speaker 3:I think that's satisfying Urchley's like I grazed it. And now it seizes. You see it perk up and dart behind sees us.
Speaker 1:You see it perk up and dart behind some bushes.
Speaker 3:Oh, alright, the chase is on. Oh, hey, bernard, Thanks for joining us. Buddy, hey, perfect timing for fighting the golden wire.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we're about to yeah.
Speaker 3:I mean we're all level 7, and it's level 10, so theoretically, three level 7s means we're level 21,. So we're easily going to handle this. That's what that means. That's definitely how multiplicative scaling works. Sheer numbers. We're going to approach this like it's a tabletop war game playing Sheer numbers, just a bunch of level 1s. Yeah, we're the Imperial Army in Warhammer.
Speaker 1:So the Wyvern did not run away, it just ran forward into some brush.
Speaker 3:Yeah, she's a clever girl. This is gonna be like the Raptors in Jurassic Park.
Speaker 1:So, uh, Riley and Galen, what do you want to do?
Speaker 3:Riley, you got your dynamite Nope Shoot All out. All right, I'm going to look at my ability dots and I'm going to see what I can do. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. I mean, we can draw it out. Wait for it to come get us. I think it's trying to bait us into attacking it.
Speaker 3:I'm going to roll realms and use Wayfarer to make something up about the Highlands. It's not going to be anything too obscene. I'm going to say that most of the brush and bushes around here are actually very sparse, only to the high altitudes. So because the brush is so sparse, it's pretty easy to see where the Golden Wyvern went, given that it has such a shiny coat. We'll say this specific area. That could be true. Okay, cool, let me make a realm check and see if that works. It's a seven. Um, oh, no, no, no, oh yeah, it's a seven. It's a seven. Yep, you want me to lend a hand? I don't know, I. It's a seven. It's a seven. Yep, you want me to lend a hand? I don't know. I think it's above a six. It's up to Ben.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, what you said is true, but there's a twist to it. That's the idea.
Speaker 3:Maybe the morning dew under leaves actually scatters and diffracts the light, so everything seems like it's shiny gold. We have an idea of where it is, but can't fully pin it down.
Speaker 1:My hands are cold. Sure, I can't think of anything better.
Speaker 2:Yay.
Speaker 3:It's over there somewhere. I can't quite pick out where it is, though, urchley, maybe you can flush it out with another shot, or yeah, riley? Does Riley have anything she wants to use? I'm going to use I for clues, I for clues, and state that there's a rocky outcrop just to the left of this thicket, and if we could rush the wyvern into there, we could back it up against the wall, so it can't get away from us. There's Sylvester Stallone at the edge of this thicket.
Speaker 2:Hey, you are your dream. Hey, you are, you're a dreamer. Hey, apollo, yeah, if you die, you die.
Speaker 3:Well, that's actually Dolph Lundgren, but come on.
Speaker 1:You gonna roll that.
Speaker 2:You gonna roll that.
Speaker 3:There is no rocky outcrop, it's actually just like troll droppings. Yeah, petrified troll dung.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 3:Alright, so is it next round? Yeah.
Speaker 1:No, the wyvern leaps out and attacks Galen.
Speaker 3:It's beautiful. I almost don't bring my shield up in time.
Speaker 1:Oof. Well, that's a three. I mean the minute.
Speaker 3:Bernard showed up. I'm just saying.
Speaker 1:Things started to go our way.
Speaker 3:Yeah, let's see Okay.
Speaker 1:So it springs out attacks. Galen, I do get my shield up. You're startled and you kind of stumble back onto your butt.
Speaker 3:I'm mounted, actually, you completely fall off your. No, your bog roll. Now, that's good, but it would be the plus, wouldn't it?
Speaker 1:Yeah, but it misses you. And now it's like out in the open. So next round, what do you do?
Speaker 3:Top of the round. Can I hop back on my mound? Would that be my action for the round though? Yeah, right, yeah, it's not ideal. I'm going to attack it. Yeah, I know I'll attack, I'm not going to remound. Ooh, three, okay.
Speaker 1:Okay. So, james, you go first. All right, I will attack the wyvern. I'll roll for Urch.
Speaker 3:I hit with a nine Nice, it has minus one defense Oof I hit with a 9.
Speaker 1:Nice.
Speaker 3:It has minus 1 defense. Oof, I hit 8. It hits you. Okay, I'm going to use a quest point, I think, so it doesn't hit me. I'm going to use a quest point, so it's a 9. Okay, because this thing is dangerous. How much dready. I rolled a 6, but I'm using the Starfell once per combat, double the dread.
Speaker 2:Nice.
Speaker 3:I like it.
Speaker 2:That's awesome.
Speaker 3:And I don't know if it stacks, but I'm also plus 2 dread with it. So plus 14? Or it's a total of 14? It would be a total of 14. Unless, I guess, it just says double dread.
Speaker 2:I think it does.
Speaker 3:I think it would stack, because it's always plus two dread and then once per combat I can double it, so then it'd be 18. I'm sorry 16. No, it'd be 14. 12 plus two.
Speaker 2:Oh, I'm sorry, 16. No, it'd be 14. 12 plus 2.
Speaker 1:Oh, so you're still adding the dread afterwards At the end yeah, oh, okay, okay, okay, I see, all right, it's taking 15. Dread total Boy, the star fell is awesome.
Speaker 3:It is 15% dead. Two magnificent item traits is really good. That sounds really good, it's.
Speaker 1:It's turn.
Speaker 3:Yeah, Ursula's going at the end.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Okay, go for it.
Speaker 1:The wyvern attacks Riley.
Speaker 3:Oh, my good lord, in a flash you see Riley's. I can't describe what happens.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 3:I use Stout Heart to reduce it to one. Stout Heart is so good.
Speaker 1:Regardless of that, you must make a vitality check. To become poisoned and then immediately have to defy death.
Speaker 3:Oh my lord, does your armor give you an advantage to defying death?
Speaker 1:Eight, nine. Okay, that's nine, nine, nine, nine, nine.
Speaker 3:Nine, nine, nine, nine, you resist. It's futile.
Speaker 1:So you came away from that Looking pretty good. You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:Good.
Speaker 1:God.
Speaker 3:Man.
Speaker 1:Now it's Galen and Urchley.
Speaker 3:I say Urchley, get her Blunderbuss, close range Blunderbuss. I say Urchley, get her Blunderbuss.
Speaker 2:Close range Blunderbuss you roll for it.
Speaker 3:Georgie, you are Urchley, I is Urchley. Urchley is flustered. She's not used to. She didn't think it'd ever get this close to her. Yeah, and her shot goes real wide, real fast. Urchley is a terrible shot.
Speaker 1:Her shot forces a wyvern to turn its back towards you, galen, you get a plus one.
Speaker 3:I can't, as a knight, errant bulwark. I can't attack things that aren't I'm plus one. You said yeah, Alright, so now I'm plus three and I'm using my halberd, I mean my Flaming Red Axe, Magical Red Axe. Come on, baby. That's a crit Because of Urshly. It becomes a crit. It's minus one Because of Urshly.
Speaker 3:No at least it wasn't a. It's still a fine hit, fine hit, a fine hit, most wonderful, uh, and it takes. So it takes eight plus one dread stacking per round. So it takes nine dread and ben. I'm correct in assuming that next round it will. Simply, it just takes plus two dread from that bleeding, right, yeah, stacking. Okay, I don't have to keep reapplying the bleed effect. Right, it's not like World of Warcraft.
Speaker 1:Alright.
Speaker 3:I say we made it bleed.
Speaker 1:Yeah, dude, next round.
Speaker 3:Next round.
Speaker 1:Any non-combat actions or just going straight to combat roll initiative.
Speaker 3:I mean, I could just turn it off.
Speaker 1:I just want to give up, not yet. I have some ideas could just turning out.
Speaker 3:I just want to give up. Not yet. Yeah, I have some ideas, but not yet. Okay, yeah, I'm going to roll my initiative. Roll the d20. Oh man, that was awesome If you had 12. Six, okay, all right, thankfully, Go ahead, riley. Halbert, do not fail me, halbert, I.
Speaker 2:Oh no.
Speaker 3:Shunk. Halbert gives and Halbert take us away. What?
Speaker 1:is your total.
Speaker 3:Oh, Urchley.
Speaker 1:James, what is your total, my total?
Speaker 3:is three. I have no bonus to attack.
Speaker 1:Alright, it's actually a two, which is a critical miss.
Speaker 3:Oh boy.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I do.
Speaker 1:I do know what I mean.
Speaker 2:Let's see that table here.
Speaker 3:Oof, what we got, what we got. Oh no, accidentally hurt myself.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you put yourself in a bad or precarious position.
Speaker 3:The halberd is stuck in the ground and I'm bent over it because it's kind of too heavy for me. Still, I'm not used to using a weapon like this, and I'm just blinking like a cartoon at the wyvern that's grinning and salivating at me.
Speaker 1:Urchley missed.
Speaker 3:Yep, Urchley is ineffective. Urchley's got like shell shock or something.
Speaker 2:She's just like I can't do it.
Speaker 3:It's too big. I didn't think it'd be this big. We gotta get out of here.
Speaker 1:Her hands are shaking while she's trying to load her blunderbuss.
Speaker 3:Oh my gosh. Alright, so I hit, but it gets a counterattack. I do oof two plus now two bleeding damage, so four.
Speaker 1:Alright, this is like one of the few times where I actually have to keep a tally of the hit points because there's so many.
Speaker 2:Tally of the Boguards.
Speaker 3:Way to rub it in. That's GM evilness right there. There's just so many courage points.
Speaker 1:That's a nine.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it doesn't get a counter. I don't get a counter attack.
Speaker 1:It's four dread and you have to make a vitality check, Block two.
Speaker 3:I have 19 out of 16. Have to make a vitality check. I block two. So I have 19 out of 16. I make a vitality check. I critically vitality it.
Speaker 1:Thank goodness.
Speaker 3:I'm only plus one. I critically vitality still. I thought I had plus two vitality. That's a really good roll, man. I was very fortunate.
Speaker 1:Who's?
Speaker 3:next. I think that's it, oh no it's turn.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, that wasn't its attack Zona inbox.
Speaker 3:like I cannot tally how many courage this creature has. It's too difficult, the mathematics.
Speaker 1:It attacks Riley. All right, bring it on. Bring it on and gets a plus one, because you're so precarious, you're so precarious, so precarious. Oh my God. That will be a hit because you're plus one, so it's a six, but you can counterattack. All right, two dread.
Speaker 3:Give it a what for Riley. And you must roll a vitality check.
Speaker 2:Nice, oh my god Bernard.
Speaker 3:Bernard, was that your vitality check?
Speaker 2:or was that your attack? I have not attacked yet.
Speaker 3:Okay, nice.
Speaker 2:Eleven, eleven Plus anything. Yet.
Speaker 3:Okay, nice, eleven, eleven Plus anything. No, oh, five, dread, nicely done. Okay, I scream out you're not so bad?
Speaker 2:You're not so bad.
Speaker 3:Um Ben, how is it looking? Is it still looking fresh?
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's still looking pretty spry, it hasn't?
Speaker 3:even broken a sweat Terrifying.
Speaker 1:I feel like we've done a lot of dread to it.
Speaker 2:We're still going to die.
Speaker 3:We've only done like 23. I'm like I've got power, i're still going to die. We've only done like 23. I've got power.
Speaker 2:I've got powers, though I'm like prepping for life in the city Before we just get critted and die.
Speaker 3:Alright, I'm going to roll my initiative. Oh no, that was not accurate. 12. 7. Okay, cool. Go ahead, riley, alright, 7. Okay, cool, go ahead, riley.
Speaker 1:Alright, I attack the monster.
Speaker 3:I fail. Urchley lines up. Ah, so close, it's still a 7. Oh, you know what, ben? That was a glancing blow. One dread, one dread, one dread. She's like I got it again. I got it again.
Speaker 1:Every dread counts Crouts.
Speaker 3:Every dread counts. In small amounts Every dread counts. That's another crit.
Speaker 1:Yes, nice, it's a real crit. Six, only six plus three, so nine damage because of the bleed.
Speaker 3:It's a real good one. Six, only six, plus three, so nine damage because of the bleed. That's pretty good. We're getting there, okay. This is where Ben turns, and crits me and I die. That's his customary counterattack. Okay.
Speaker 1:Oh man, Three dread.
Speaker 3:To me, mm-hmm, if I need to make a vitality check again.
Speaker 1:You don't Thank you.
Speaker 3:I counter 11 or 10. D12. 12 damage Nice. Why wasn't that the previous? That's fine.
Speaker 2:I'm going to be grateful.
Speaker 3:I'm going to be grateful. All right, this is not boating. Well, still, it's not even limping or drooling or looking banged up.
Speaker 1:It's turn.
Speaker 3:Yeah, no, no, no, no. That was its turn and I counterattacked it. You took dread though right Judge, so you got a role. No, no, I did. Then I asked if I needed to make a vitality check. He said no. Ah, and the 16 out of 16 was from the attack. Yeah, okay that's why I document everything.
Speaker 2:It gets confusing sometimes we rarely fight creatures like this it's like it's a big one usually it is dead um perception next round.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, yeah, alright, got rid of that one at least six. Oh, you go first nice, all right, ooh, got rid of that one at least Six. Oh, you go first Nice. I do, I say Riley, finish it. Yeah, because a six plus goes before it does, I attack the monster. Critically hit Whoa Hallie Burton 22 dread what it's amazing or minus 1, no crit 12 dread. Still nice, that's as good as it gets that's not my dread.
Speaker 1:Why are you rolling?
Speaker 3:I honestly wasn't going to say anything, sorry. I didn't realize it 4 dread, 4 dread, 4 dread wasn't going to say anything, sorry, I didn't realize it. Fjordred, fjordred, alright, fjordred.
Speaker 2:Riley rolls with d12s now.
Speaker 3:Riley is a barbarian.
Speaker 1:She's a Sith Lord yeah.
Speaker 3:Oh man, alright, so then it'll be. Do you want, urchly, to just go on my initiative? Yeah, that's fine. Yeah, okay, so then it's the Wyvern's turn. The.
Speaker 1:Wyvern attacks Galen.
Speaker 3:I accept God. It was gonna happen. Oh shit, this is what I saved. Shrugged off for.
Speaker 2:Six dread. Okay, saved the Shrug.
Speaker 1:It Off, for I Six Dread.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 1:That's not bad.
Speaker 3:I still am going to Shrug it Off.
Speaker 1:You must.
Speaker 3:Vitality, yeah All right. That's a six Hold on.
Speaker 1:Okay, that's good enough. Hold on, that's good enough.
Speaker 3:It's good enough, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, and then this is going to be. I'm going to check to see if I can shrug it off With a seven. I shrug it off, so I only take half damage. So I'm down to 13 out of 16. Urchley takes this opportunity to get behind the wyvern, pulls up her blunderbuss close range she says I can't miss now and she doesn't yes what is uh?
Speaker 3:what is her damage? It's the first time I've had to roll it, because she keeps missing d8, d48, d, d40. She has 37 damage. She still does one damage. Oh no, urchley is just like Urchley's, so frightened.
Speaker 1:We find out that she's totally all talk. She's all talk, yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah, she's like it was so much easier to talk big when I was at the bars Drunk out of my mind. Meanwhile, galen on his back foot isn't looking so hot with the Wyvern Baron down. Let's see if he makes an attack. Wow, nice.
Speaker 2:Somehow regains his footing.
Speaker 3:Yes, that's a 12 after the minus 1. That's a crit. Okay, make it happen. D12. Damage 7. Okay, so that's 14 plus 4 for the bleeding stack, so 18 damage.
Speaker 1:Wow, you slice off the wyvern's head.
Speaker 2:Whoa, how did that go so well?
Speaker 3:How did that go so well? We that go so well? We didn't. That was how that never happened. I rolled like 12s and 11s, like 3 or 4 rounds in a row. That was remarkable. I even accidentally rolled a 10.
Speaker 1:Yeah you made every vitality check.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that was what was really remarkable.
Speaker 1:Like missing, those could have just snowballed. Yeah, but you did it Snowballed.
Speaker 2:Yes, we did it.
Speaker 3:I just kind of look at Urshley and I say, is this your first time? No, no, no. I, urshley, and I say, is this your first?
Speaker 2:time in combat.
Speaker 3:Galen, no, no, no, no no, I like genuinely ask her. I say is this the?
Speaker 1:first time you've really been in combat. What are you talking about?
Speaker 3:In full, knowing that we've been in combat before, like what happened.
Speaker 1:Are you okay? You saw it. I hit it like three times.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:We did it, we did it. Yeah, galen's heart's not really in it, but he's kind of glad that this is over with.
Speaker 1:I tell you I'm going to be a big fame hunter. It's finally happening. A big fame hunter. It's finally happening. A big fame hunter.
Speaker 3:Yeah, is that. You guys don't mind if I take the head right, hmm, cool, I think whoever did the most damage should take the head.
Speaker 1:That's impossible to know.
Speaker 3:Well, when I cut his head.
Speaker 1:You got that killing blow, but Look, I helped you with the sargog.
Speaker 2:You guys were toast, like making a case all of a sudden like I did all this stuff for y'all and uh I really just I think jaylen really doesn't care in the blunderbuss.
Speaker 3:Yeah, this mexican standoff now yeah, I.
Speaker 1:They're in like as she cocks the blunderbuss.
Speaker 3:I Does Mexican stand off now. Yeah, as she cocks the blunderbuss, I'm like are you going to do as much damage to me as you did to the?
Speaker 1:Bernard says, zona might know.
Speaker 3:Zona. Let me get a read back.
Speaker 1:He's quantified every hit, he's quantified everything.
Speaker 3:Zona. His book is just the Roll20 feed. It's like.12, Roll2. With my formula.
Speaker 1:I've calculated that you only did three points of what I'm calling dread.
Speaker 2:Yeah, calling dread. Sona's meta man, that's hilarious. Sona's meta, it's fine.
Speaker 3:This is the only thing Urshly ever wanted of his life. That's hilarious, it's fine. This is the only thing Urchly ever wanted with her life, and she did join us for multiple endeavors. Yep, she earned it, and now we are free of her charge. I say that's cool, you can have the head and we'll take the magical treasure hoard.
Speaker 1:Oh, I didn't even think about that.
Speaker 3:Deal. I shake her hand, I snap her hand.
Speaker 1:I mean I don't see one.
Speaker 3:so oh, it's there.
Speaker 1:Galen says optimistically there is no treasure at all.
Speaker 3:Just the friends you made along the way.
Speaker 1:I'll let you guys make one search check to find its den.
Speaker 3:I'd also like to take the creature back to Mindy because she may be able to use it to get an antidote made or something. The materials of the beast could be used in science? Yeah, uh, we should.
Speaker 3:But you should can I can I use the bearskin of trivia real quick to make up a fact about the uh wyvern. Uh, I just want to say that the venom glands for the wyvern are not in its head. Actually, they are in the body proper of the wyvern that we will be bringing back, so we don't get screwed out of getting anti-venom nine okay, you guys also, you do have anti-venom doesn't matter, we want more anti-venom.
Speaker 3:Um, I also feel like the most valuable part of the wyvern will probably be the have antivenom Doesn't matter, we want more antivenom. I also feel like the most valuable part of the wyvern will probably be the poison sacks. Poison sacks Sacks and goldberg Wasson. I'll make the. I'll make a search. You sure you want me to make a search? Check, yeah, go for it. Oh good, it's a fruitless search.
Speaker 1:Yeah I figured, oh God, it's a fruitless search. Yeah, I figured, Well good deal.
Speaker 2:All right Wow.
Speaker 3:So close to using Mad Marian's multiple map if we had found it. I have Mitch, I get plus two you have. Mitch, mitch, hedberg, right, and that's Mitch's last name. Yeah, awesome. So I mean we really got lucky there. I'll take it.
Speaker 1:She probably shakes her hands and says well, I'm going to be heading east, back to the Quagmash, and it's been a real pleasure to adventure with you.
Speaker 3:You're not going to go back to Dunk.
Speaker 1:Nah, the road's calling me, and you know I don't like to stay in one place too long yeah.
Speaker 3:We know how that is. Rolling stones, gathering moss or whatever. I reach out my arm for a heroic hug and say thanks for all the help you've given us. Archley, you really saved our bacon back in the Sarpathia City.
Speaker 1:Look, I admit I kind of my hands got all sweaty and you know.
Speaker 3:Knees weak, mom's forgetting.
Speaker 1:My shot was off.
Speaker 3:Can I just like absentmindedly examine the blunderbuss and be like oh no, here's your problem. Use sightings off and use tinker to try to fix it. I like that. You gotta have a range adjustment. You can't be long range when 10. Nice.
Speaker 1:Oh, oh well, thanks, that'll do it. So it wasn't my problem after all, it was this shoddy blunderbuss.
Speaker 3:Well, I mean, maybe you want to quit drinking so much and take your equipment. I say I mumble under my breath the poor craftsman blames, his tools blames his tools, kalen's just like gathering up the resentment that he's got for everybody.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I guess I'll remember that one. All right, adios Peace out.
Speaker 3:We'll see you on the road, hopefully sometime soon.
Speaker 1:Yeah, if you're ever in Quagmash, look up the Puddle Jumpers. The big fame hunters Will do.
Speaker 3:Little did she know she probably would still not get admitted to the Puddle Jumpers.
Speaker 1:You guys going to head back to Dunk? I think so. I think we do? I think we head back to Dunk I think so, I think we do, I think we head back to Dunk, and you know it's a good place to end it.
Speaker 3:Dunk it up. Yeah, prepare for our next journey north. When did we decide we were going? We were going north, to the middle route, or are we going down the river again to get to? I can't remember. I can't remember either. We're again to get to. I can't remember. I can't remember either. We're going to have to Consult the Book of Zona. Yeah, they had not actually made it to Zona.
Speaker 1:Well, I've got this quest log here. These are things that you can or you may or may not do. It's up to you. Got the overarching, build a bridge for Sven the Odeling Troll. They need more lumber. We were going to get that from Logjam.
Speaker 3:Logjam is the next big location we need to go to. It's both sensitive.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it screws up, destin the Brink. It gets lumber to Sven and it gets lumber to the ship in the Terror Island Adventure and it makes Mob Wazinski happy with us.
Speaker 1:Yes, so given that the last tree you might have to abandon that?
Speaker 3:Yeah, I don't know. I mean, what's his face, was it?
Speaker 2:Elberry.
Speaker 3:Barretton P Middy Wopdiddle, ichabod. Oh yeah, ichabod Lundy, ichabod Lundy, that's right. Ichabod Lundy says he's probably going to be. He went over there to think of something. Last time we ran into him on the road, so maybe, just maybe.
Speaker 1:Well, I think it's Last time we ran into him on the road, so maybe, just maybe. Well, I think it's. I'll let you know as a GM.
Speaker 3:Last quest, somebody's going to die.
Speaker 1:No, like doing the last tree, you risk being on time for log jam. But if you don't do the last tree, the last tree will probably die.
Speaker 3:So it's really up to what you value as people Well if we do the last tree, then we've got to book it to the middle route run, because then we can get across faster, because it's a road we can just take the eagles to Mordor. Oh man we got to save the tree, but you know that's our path.
Speaker 3:Like stopping this. Our path is we got to go to Terror Island? Yeah, yeah, arguably we could do it. You know, we could dogleg through Edinhorn to see what's going on, to last tree. If we can't help, we can't help and we move on Like if it's not going to be a quick thing. But yeah, I don't know, that's a tough call.
Speaker 1:Crazy Ernie was going to go to subterranean pits and layers too.
Speaker 3:Yeah, we can drop him off along the way. So many things, infinite adventure. And then we'll get like 40 more quests along the way. Yeah, I like it Well, we'll talk offline about it and we'll have a plan. Yes, indeed, should we do XP real quick? Yep, I'm up for XP's.
Speaker 1:HexP.
Speaker 3:Hexagrain P's.
Speaker 1:Okay, okay.
Speaker 2:Am I right? Am I right, am I right? You?
Speaker 1:completed the quest, the Wyvern quest, the golden Wyvern.
Speaker 3:I pluck a golden Wyvern feather and pin it to my armor as a trophy.
Speaker 1:Works.
Speaker 3:It gleams In the moonlight as a trophy Works.
Speaker 1:It gleams in the moonlight. Did you solve a problem creatively?
Speaker 3:I can't remember, I don't think so Well, you know what, though I mean? It's pretty creative to question that inkpot spider as it lay before us vulnerable and dying.
Speaker 1:That's not true. It's all brute force. Explore a new location, point of interest.
Speaker 2:I hate to say it, we've been to the High Wilds.
Speaker 1:This is a must. Encounter a new creature. I've already encountered it.
Speaker 3:We've encountered the Inkpot Spider. We've encountered the Inkpod Spider. We've seen everything there is to see in Land of Eam.
Speaker 1:Significant encounter with an NPC, not even close.
Speaker 3:I mean Not really Urchley.
Speaker 1:Parting Ways.
Speaker 3:Putting a cap on the Urchley story 1 XP.
Speaker 1:So that's 2 XP 2 XP.
Speaker 3:A cap on the earthly story, one xp.
Speaker 1:So that's two xp, two xp. Um, I didn't use my stuff, not really.
Speaker 3:No, we, this is like our camping was interrupted by an attack, I think at the end of the quest, like not asking for XP. But I think that Galen would praise Riley as they travel back to Dunk for her prowess with the new Halberd, saying hey, you really upped your game with that new Halberd. There's some serious hits here. I mean, well, we got the tools, we got the talent, we high-five. One XP Party back, we high-five.
Speaker 1:One XP. Yeah, I mean, this was one of the more significant fights we had, but it went so well.
Speaker 3:I ended up not using my flaws or my ideals.
Speaker 1:It was a well-oiled machine yeah, I just wanted to guess this kind of highlights that, uh, land of beam does not really reward you for going out something, right? Yeah, never again something.
Speaker 3:And we only got two xp. And then, and then, you know, I gave you the opportunity to reward us and then you took it away because you made it a search check. What do you mean? No, no, I was like, hey, maybe he's got a secret hoard. And you're like I make a search check, oh, like there is no reward, but but like we have the body, though, and I think that we can probably like convey that into something.
Speaker 1:We just might have to get creative about it oh, you're saying that you could have found a relic. I don't think I would have made it a treasure hoard with a relic in it, because it was just like in the wilderness I mean maybe like around the objects and just creating terror, right?
Speaker 3:so uh no, but I think that the body will be a reward enough, right, like maybe there would be a well head, but ursula's got that I don't know. I mean like you could do stuff with the body in terms of crafting yeah, like it's got to be worth like meat feather or like skin poison sack, sack yeah, you know, I'm gonna make a note of that.
Speaker 3:Next time when we start, we'll just Parcel it out and dunk. People are gonna be like I don't even know what this is, it doesn't have a head and they're gonna be like it's a wyvern and they're gonna say I don't think this exists.
Speaker 1:It looks like a chicken to me. You just painted chicken gold.
Speaker 3:Where did you get this?
Speaker 1:gold paint. We'll roleplay that 40 minute trial in which we try to communicate that this is a wyvern.
Speaker 3:Alright 3 XP, I think 2. Oh yeah, maybe just 2.
Speaker 1:3 is fine. Be a generous person today.
Speaker 3:Generous GM.
Speaker 1:The DM is generous.
Speaker 2:today I grant you three XP.
Speaker 3:I sprinkle the XP.
Speaker 1:Kiss.
Speaker 2:The ring, the GM's ring. Kiss the ring, the GM's ring.
Speaker 3:Kiss the ring.
Speaker 2:Kiss.
Speaker 1:Alright, is that it I?
Speaker 2:think that's it.
Speaker 1:Fun stuff.
Speaker 3:Thank you for being my friend.
Speaker 1:There are 67 hours left on our Kickstarter, which you should check out, if you haven't yet. It's Punch and Quest. It's a dungeon adventure that you can use with any RPG. It's full of puns.
Speaker 3:Okay, we've completed the first two stretch goals. We only need 40 more backers, or 40-ish more backers, to unlock the third stretch goal, so there's plenty of time to do it. And what's really cool is that you can play it with any system to unlock the third stretch goal. So there's plenty of time to do it. And, uh, what's really cool is that you can play it with any system. You don't have to play it with the land of him, even though it takes place in the land of him.
Speaker 1:And, uh, thanks to all of our patrons on Patreon for your support. It's awesome. Thank you so much, um, we'll see you next week.
Speaker 3:Indeed, play us, we'll see you next week. Indeed, play us out with the pundar or the pungent, quest vidya why not huh?
Speaker 2:yeah classic beware adventurers, for I am the pundar lord. Do you accept the challenge of my pungent? Just watch your step, because, after all, you can't make an omelette without breaking a few legs. Eleven out of ten pundents agree. This is a wild and crazy ride, chock full of cruel and unusual punishments. Pledge if you dare, with the dozens of ruthless riddles, pungent creatures, terrible traps, playful prisoners and magical items to find. Will your wits be enough to defeat me, the Pondlord? Don't say I didn't mourn you.
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