Land of Eem: Actual Play
Join Ben Costa, James Parks, and George Higgins as they play the Land of Eem tabletop roleplaying game, inspired by the series of fantasy books: Dungeoneer Adventures and Rickety Stitch and the Gelatinous Goo.
Ben Costa and James Parks are the creators of Dungeoneer Adventures, Rickety Stitch and the Gelatinous Goo, and the tabletop roleplaying game, Land of Eem. They have been friends since the 2nd grade, and love making stuff together.
Lovers of fantasy, they strive to craft tales that celebrate the adventures of unlikely heroes. Ben and James grew up playing tabletop roleplaying games, creating countless characters and collaborative worlds with our pals, a pastime that paved the way for their creative careers, as authors and illustrators.
Land of Eem is a tabletop roleplaying published in partnership with indie game publisher, Exalted Funeral. and is about adventurers exploring and discovering the remnants of a forgotten better age. Described as The Lord of the Rings meets The Muppets, players portray lore-seeking travelers, fortune-seeking pioneers, and adventure-seeking heroes in a time devoid of them. But for all its post-apocalyptic doom and gloom, Land of Eem is tonally quite lighthearted and droll.
Dungeoneer Adventures is a fun, middle-grade fantasy adventure series from Simon & Schuster, about the only human kid attending the adventure school, Dungeoneer Academy. The books are packed with illustrations and available at Target, Barnes & Noble, and Amazon, or you can ask for them wherever books are sold.
Rickety Stitch and the Gelatinous Goo is a fun YA graphic novel series from Random House, about a skeleton bard and his best friend on an epic quest to discover who he was when he was alive. The books are available through Exalted Funeral or online at Amazon, and you can ask for them wherever books are sold.
For more visit:
https://landofeem.com
Land of Eem: Actual Play
Land of Eem: Fantasy Actual Play S02E09 | The Power of the Kazoo
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Will the allure of a bandit’s treasure lead our misfit crew astray, or will the call of duty guide them beneath the Last Tree? Join Rylee, Galen, and the gang as they navigate webs of decisions in this thrilling episode of the Land of Eem TTRPG, played in the Mucklands Campaign Sandbox Setting and published by Exalted Funeral. With Ben Costa and James Parks—creators of Rickety Stitch and the Gelatinous Goo and Dungeoneer Adventures—alongside lead playtester and best bud George Higgins, the adventure continues with humor, heart, and high-stakes strategy.
This episode is a journey filled with laughter and peril, from the enigmatic Yek’s potions to comic relief in the form of carbonated cravings and musical mishaps at Wally’s Waffles and Weorgs. Newfound wealth sparks triumphs and troubles alike, as the group encounters a lizard with luxurious tastes and a quirky innkeeper with wares as strange as his appearance.
The camaraderie of the party shines through as they tinker with traps, tell campfire tales, and face bizarre challenges, including navigating a landscape littered with bear traps and bandits. The suspense builds as the crew considers joining the kazoo-playing ranks of Salty Scuff and the Brave Goblins and debates whether the rumored magical prize is a dream worth chasing.
Perfect for fans of Fantasy Actual Play, Collaborative Storytelling RPGs, Rules-Light Indie RPGs, and the dynamic TTRPG community, this episode blends quirky humor with high-stakes adventure.
Download the Land of Eem Quickstart Guide for FREE, and join the chaotic, captivating journey today!
https://linktr.ee/landofeem
Hello, Hi everybody. Saxo hey there, hey there buds.
Speaker 2:What's shakin' my collective bacons. Welcome to the stream.
Speaker 1:This is episode 9 of season 2.
Speaker 2:This is episode 9 of season 2. Of the Land of Eme RPG the Adventures of Rylan Galen that's us, that's us.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so what's on the docket for today? Well, I'll answer you.
Speaker 2:Didn't even give me a chance to talk.
Speaker 1:Guys are at the last tree.
Speaker 2:Someone's going to die.
Speaker 1:And I don't think you're staying there, didn't seem like it?
Speaker 2:No, we've got places to be, but we learned some interesting stuff. Yeah, let's see. Let me see my notas, the notes of Georgie. Oh yeah, I just mostly remember going through Edinhorn. We had that verbal altercation with some men when we were camping, which?
Speaker 1:is hilarious and fun.
Speaker 2:We met Remming Krug, a Dwarg bandito, who is no fan of the Riverwatch, indeed.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he actually promised you a little treasure trove.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I've got a treasure trove that's on the way to the.
Speaker 1:Great Slug.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we'd have to go straight north as opposed to a diagonal, but it's still possible to get Before we fail our mission.
Speaker 1:It's like 11? Nine, nine days, that's a long way, you're going to have to watch the video again, I don't know before we fail our mission. It's like 11?. Nine days, that's a long way. You're going to have to watch the video again.
Speaker 2:I don't know about that Can we say.
Speaker 1:12 days or something. I think we started at 12, right, so it's been three days, it's been.
Speaker 2:Wow, I don't think we're going to make it unless we get some good rolls. So you're saying we should just take the Eagles straight to Logjam?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm not saying that at all.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yes, I'm not saying that at all. No, we do get to move faster along the Great Slug, though, correct?
Speaker 1:Let me see Safer Technically. I think you have plus one to your travel checks. If you were to hitch a ride on a wagon, maybe that's no guarantee.
Speaker 2:We might be able to catch something coming out of Fort Bulwark, but yeah, it's no guarantee. We might be able to catch something coming out of Fort Bulwark, but yeah, it's no guarantee. Um, should we head?
Speaker 1:Just, we want to know where the treasure is.
Speaker 2:So we could go back for it. Yeah, we could just mark it like X marks the spot you know.
Speaker 1:I mean Remy says it's not going to be there. Hmm, they're going to go back for it soon enough.
Speaker 2:I look Remy down the eyes and say how many hexes away is it?
Speaker 1:Two, I already told you we're talking six miles, but six miles back then or 12 miles. I'm sorry we're looking at miles, but six miles back then or 12 miles.
Speaker 2:I'm sorry we're looking at three hexes okay, 18 miles, is it like?
Speaker 1:this one no.
Speaker 2:This one. Oh, that's right. Yeah, god, I say we go for it. I say we go for it, let's just go for it. The great slog is right there. James, I love you because our minds are like in tune as far as uh, treasure, yeah, treasure, treasure.
Speaker 2:You can't measure the pleasure that I'm gonna try with my measuring stick. Um, yeah, so so we uh. Yeah, I think that last time we kind of spoke with was it P Middy Wapdittle? No, it was Icky Lundy. P Middy Wapdittle is the only one I can remember, half the time, always Icky Bod Lundy. Yeah, so we spoke with Icky and he says that there may be some greater thing in solving the logjam issue and Just and Brink might actually help in some way, right? So we're going to investigate that and come back.
Speaker 1:I don't think that was what you guys talked about. You talked about using creative power to make that true, george. Oh.
Speaker 2:God, that's right. It's been a week. It's been a long week. Last week you used a creative power to make that true, george. Oh god, that's right, it's been, it's been a week.
Speaker 1:It's been a long week. Last week you used a creative power to make yeah, yeah, is that not a thing?
Speaker 2:this is how we go through our recap. It's the first time joining us. I stumble through my false memories and ben corrects me. Yeah, so I use a creative power to say that a dryad heart, uh, could do it, but only if given freely by a dryad. That's correct. Where did I not write this down? I usually write this stuff down. I generally rely upon your notes, george. Yeah, me too, dude, I know, I know. The dryad heart, though I remember that.
Speaker 1:No, no, I 100% remember that.
Speaker 2:Did I put it in the icky lundy section anyway? But there was a. There was another area, maybe just didn't save. There was another area where we could possibly get it from the stump witch. The stump witch, yeah, wasn't. Uh, maybe I'm making this up, but was there a dryad in River Country? Yeah, we thought we would be able to Bubble Top, right. No, why do you need carbigated water To get the state out of her?
Speaker 1:stupid dress that did not come true.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's not true. It was a field role. I'm sorry.
Speaker 1:You don't know exactly where a dryad in River Country would be, but they're.
Speaker 2:But it's worth a shot. Yeah, I had put it in a different section, not chronologically. I'm sorry, I have my notes. I'm fixing everything, all right. Yeah, Versus Persuade a River Dryad in the River Country. Yeah, versus persuade a river dryad in the river country. Yeah, or this dump, which I'm sorry, I'm sorry, sorry, but all I know is that we're going for that traitor with reckless abandon.
Speaker 1:If I recall correctly, I think this is like the first part of the day, so like Next travel check will be the End of the third day.
Speaker 2:Okay, yeah, because we had arrived here after that night Of Ruckus Hollering, as it were. So, to kick things off, I'm going to roll a travel check. That's a niner hollering, as it were. So to kick things off, I'm going to roll a travel check. That's a niner.
Speaker 1:That's pretty good, nothing could be finer Success, success.
Speaker 2:Indeed.
Speaker 1:That means you can search for some resources Resources, if you'd like.
Speaker 2:I'm going to channel my inner goblin resourcerer and search for some mats, some crafting materials. I believe it's a wilderness check. That's also a nine Nice.
Speaker 1:Nine, that's very nice.
Speaker 2:Bernard is with us.
Speaker 1:I'll let you control dictate what that means.
Speaker 2:Opening up my rule book. Yep, I'll figure it out.
Speaker 1:All right, you guys make camp here. It's a chilly night out in the used-to-be forest. You hear howls from Ettenhorn and you also hear howls that seem to be coming from the east. Sound like wargs.
Speaker 2:But there are nothing compared to the howls of my stomach.
Speaker 1:Yeah, what are you guys eating?
Speaker 2:I look over at Riley what's for dinner. I ask the hand herder, I hand her two materials that we got from my rummaging meats. I hand her two materials that we got from my rummaging Salted meats again.
Speaker 1:That's all we've got. Yeah come on, girl. We need other food here.
Speaker 2:We ate all the worm bread or the bandy clamp bread yeah, I was like worm bread. That explains the worms. I'm not feeling so bread, yeah, it was like worm bread.
Speaker 2:That explains the worms. I'm going to feel so hot. Oh God, roll a d8. Yeah, I mean we weren't damaged much to begin with or anything right, so it's no. I rolled to use the ration. Oh, so you used the ration. Is what you're saying? Yeah, down to one salted meat, saul Goodman Salted. We're in the used to be forest. Now let's roll to 12. While y'all were salting meat, I was rustling up a goblin alloy that might be useful later. That's what I obtained from my random elemental item.
Speaker 1:That's cool Nice.
Speaker 2:Goblin alloy, goblin alloy. Goblin alloy, goblin alloy. We start settling in for the night and I look over at Riley and I say, Riley, are we like super greedy or something? Like it's the right thing to do, like, I want the treasure, you want the treasure too, right? I mean, yeah, I think you might be right. Right, I think we are kind of greedy, but is it a bad thing?
Speaker 2:I mean it's making us powerful not if it helps us defeat the Sarpathy. Ultimately, we need more tools like this, and I hold up the flaming axe in my hands, indiscriminately cut through something metal and then put it away. The day's almost over. I might as well use my once per day ability indiscriminately cut through something metal and then put it away. The day's almost over. I might as well use my once per day ability.
Speaker 1:Session maybe Session.
Speaker 2:Once per session man. So you used it and uh now we will not be able to fight the iron golem. It's super awkward, super awkward guys, but big boy rules, you know. Know, I took my finger off the chess piece, uh that's funny that's funny callback. Um yeah, I'm just concerned we're not going to make it to log jam I mean, we haven't failed in any of our quests so far, but we have meandered a lot there hasn't been a time limit on anything, I roll my eyes at him.
Speaker 2:I can't see it because it's in the dark. But I do think that taking the Great Slough will be the fastest way. You just have to watch out for bandits. Well, and then I put on my Helm of the Bulwark. I say I can take care of the bandits, and then I have to take it off again.
Speaker 1:Well, going to take care of the bandits, and then I have to take it off again.
Speaker 2:Well, how are you going to take care of river watch in river country?
Speaker 1:I think you ever thought of that you better come up with a plan, is this? I mean talking, it's the twerk. Yeah, yeah, okay, sorry my name.
Speaker 2:They all sound the same. I couldn't tell if you were. You know who's with us, mindyy, you sound just like Mindy. That's not true. I say the Riverwatch. I know you're no fan of them, but I don't think they've ever caused me any trouble. It's true, he's a fellow lawman. Maybe we can, you know, use that as our advantage to sneak on through there.
Speaker 1:You really got the veil pulled over your eyes. You know what I mean. It's just like they're corrupt. It's like thieves against thieves, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2:That's not possible. I think that Galen might have grown up seeing the Riverwatch as a more heroic organization in River Country. Riley didn't have the same. Seeing the river watch is like a more heroic organization in river country. Um, Riley didn't have the same view of the river Probably knew what's up Thinks about thinks about the time that they visited her house one night and like asked for a bribe and uh her family had to do it. It was like, uh, like the Disney's Robin hood.
Speaker 2:Yeah, wow, well, I'll tell you something we're going to have taxes.
Speaker 1:Gaelan pulled out of your dad's casket. Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2:Gaelan had a slightly different view of it. He just assumed that they needed funds for the Riverwatch ball and that his parents were making a donation. It seemed appropriate to me at the time.
Speaker 1:Yep Typical ball work, material of it, if you know what I mean.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I see, it's very true.
Speaker 1:Anyway, you guys are going to have a rude awakening.
Speaker 2:Yeah, very least. Maybe there's a reward for you and we can collect it. I say jokingly at him, but not jokingly.
Speaker 1:He's like about to pull out a knife.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm kidding, we're all friends here, we're all friends.
Speaker 1:We don't make jokes like that out here. You know what I mean. Jokes are the least of our concerns.
Speaker 2:We don't make jokes like that out here. You know what I mean. Jokes are the least of our concerns. We've got to get to the great slog.
Speaker 1:All right, well, better get some shut-eye.
Speaker 2:Wait, no, wait, wait, wait, We've arrived. Oh no, are we one? No, we're one away. I take it back. One away, I say. And Galen settles in for the night in his bulwark helm, still dreaming of being a bulwark, wondering if the river watch is really as corrupt as they are. I'm gonna glance over at crazy ernie and like he's like sitting quietly on the other side of the fire tweaking some some sort of bear trap that he's collected out of things he's collected along the way That'll help defend the camp.
Speaker 2:Wake up in the morning. There's 40 bear traps strewn about. Crazy Ernie's passed out on the floor giggling to himself. Passed out on the floor like giggling to himself. Anything happen in the night. Ben, I saw you rolled a six.
Speaker 1:No, no, you wake up to a jackal rabbit caught dead in the trap.
Speaker 2:I will collect it for tomorrow's dinner Amazing.
Speaker 1:Well, look at that. It's good stuff right there. Looks like meat's back on the menu boys.
Speaker 2:You hear a snap from deeper in the woods and a scream. We go running over and it's Mindy who's somehow white as a sheet. She says I was just going to the river to to to wash my dress, but there are bear traps everywhere. I almost took my leg crazy or any lights up like oh yeah, you gotta watch your step out of here.
Speaker 1:There are no uh rivers either.
Speaker 2:Toots but but there's always. How am I supposed to wash? I'm miserable. It's dusty out here. It's crazy how he turns into this scumbag yeah. He's a smoker and he's calling people toots. Sorry, it just fell that way. That's where I ended.
Speaker 1:Sorry, sunlight's up, that means I'm going to sleep. He like, hops on your my tortoise yeah gets too comfortable yeah, I, I.
Speaker 2:At first it puts it's like off-putting, and then I, I shrug my shoulders and tuck in the crazy old trap maker with care. Good night, sweet prince. That'll do, crazy, that'll do. We get this show on the road you want to make the first travel check to get to? I will. I'm blessed by Bernard.
Speaker 1:Bernard boom.
Speaker 2:Bernard smiles upon thee twelve is a discovery discover this treasure is one category better than you promised it'd be wow. Miles upon the Twelve is a discovery. Discover this treasure is one category better than you promised it'd be Wow, there's a relic in there, we'll finally get that XP for finding a relic.
Speaker 1:Let's deal with that after you stop at the core.
Speaker 2:Typical GM move, meaning it's not going to be as easy as we think it's going to be.
Speaker 1:No, I mean it'll be the second part. You're stopping at this horde in 1410.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so we're going to move up here.
Speaker 1:I'm actually being quite benevolent, George. I could say oh, you've got to look for it in this hex, oh, wow.
Speaker 2:I'm being quite benevolent. Yeah, yeah, I can feel it. Let it wash over me. The blessings of the Costa GM smiles upon us today. Alright, he's getting smug.
Speaker 1:Remy leads you over to the spot. He's got a little piece of paper in his pocket. He's looking around. It takes an hour out of the day to really pinpoint the location which? Is just in this entirely flat plains area.
Speaker 2:That's what makes it so difficult yeah, yeah, they're only thing with the areas are like a few uh stumps here and there yeah, I see one of the landmarks he has written down is like a dung pile and I look at him and I say look, remy, there's. This whole place is like dung piles, as far as the eye can see. Why would you use that as a frame of reference?
Speaker 1:Look, I don't know it was there.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean it was big too, but the Beatles come along and roll it away. Wait, it was big.
Speaker 1:What am I like? A scientist or something.
Speaker 2:How big yeah what.
Speaker 1:How you know? Like three apples tall.
Speaker 2:Three, three road apples tall.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Whatever Start digging. I do it. I help him dig for this treasure and I have Riley watch our backs.
Speaker 1:Alright.
Speaker 2:You gonna make a digging check? No, no, oh, he's being benevolent again.
Speaker 1:No, you may dig.
Speaker 2:I'll allow it. It Get a free dig.
Speaker 1:You get Three materials, okay, five Mundane items, and there are two components. You Will also have to roll your treasure hunting thricely, so one of you will do it twice.
Speaker 2:You did two components. Just remember Mitch gives us plus ten.
Speaker 1:Gives you plus ten.
Speaker 2:Yeah, gives you plus ten, so maybe you should roll it and or we should save our. Yeah, I don't want. So maybe you should roll it and or we should save our. Yeah, I don't want to pull out our map in front of this guy. Yeah, that's still our secret secret.
Speaker 1:So there are two magnificent items and one magic item that you can roll on.
Speaker 2:Amazing Alright.
Speaker 1:Dehundo 30. 49. Um, well, that would. What it does is increase the uh. What am I trying to say here? The threshold you have to hit.
Speaker 2:Oh, I see, Does it have to be? Under what is it? 10 times your level, no.
Speaker 1:No, it depends on the horde Hordak. So you do it Nice, was that? The? What item magical?
Speaker 2:okay, and George what am I rolling for the magnificence?
Speaker 1:well, one of you has to do two of them. Oh, I'll roll 2d100. That's fine. I mean, james can do two, since he has the better watch oh. Sorry, you find nothing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, dang it. Big boy rules. No, that's fine. I'd say this isn't. I mean, there's like this one nice thing I can roll the mundane items, I guess.
Speaker 1:Yeah, roll five of those. James roll a D2, Hundo D2.
Speaker 2:Hundo, that's the lingo using Hundos, not to be confused with Hundo from Top Gun Clone Wars. Was there a Hundo in Clone Wars Also, was there a Hondo in Clone Wars? I don't know. I hadn't watched Clone Wars yet. How do you roll a D200? Slash roll D200. Space D200. We're used to analog world. You know 152. 152. 152 and an eighth.
Speaker 1:You're standing on it, dude. Never pay me twice. You find this yo-yo.
Speaker 2:Ma.
Speaker 1:You find a yo-yo.
Speaker 2:That's cool.
Speaker 1:It's the second time we've got an umbrella, a yo-yo yeah, you can make a lore check to see what it does you want me to lore it up?
Speaker 2:yeah, go for it, man it's a 14. I say I've seen things like this before, this used to be mine. Galen's lost yo-yo.
Speaker 1:Maybe you saw this person come through town at one point. This is called Palmo's Automatic Yo-Yo. It does tricks on its own and is sure to draw a crowd.
Speaker 2:Whoa that's awesome Pulmo.
Speaker 1:P-U-L-M-O. Pulmo, the Magical Fool enchanted this yo-yo to take the stage Long enough for him to take a quick break.
Speaker 2:This is like his intermission thing. I love it. Galen immediately gets tangled in it. He shrugs and hands it to Riley. It immediately Untangles itself as if it were a trick immediately gets tangled in it.
Speaker 1:He shrugs and hands it to Riley. It immediately untangles itself as if it were a trick and it looks amazing.
Speaker 2:That's so cool Talk about the ultimate distraction item yeah, I love it. It's like walking the dogs walking itself. Whoa, yeah, that's so we call off leash, you know? Yeah, off the leash.
Speaker 1:Remming seems like kind of disappointed. It's like a yo-yo.
Speaker 2:That's it. It is not just a yo-yo. Yeah, there's a couple of materials in here and yeah, I say uh. Here you go and I hand him the umbrella.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Cross that off the list.
Speaker 1:Wow, an umbrella. Is it like super something?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I wish we had it when we were going through all that bad weather and drippy downs. I say it's intact, which is a lot more than you can say for most umbrellas. Yeah, culture looks nice. If you're smaller, you could use it as a flotation device.
Speaker 1:I guess I mean, it's sort of a letdown for me, but If you don't want, that we can put you back in this cage.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I was going to say that. I was going to say the same thing. Actually, george, the cage might be a great way to sneak into River Country. We could put him in it and act like he's our bounty it's possible and then we can collect him in the bounty.
Speaker 1:Yeah, second thought I got to go.
Speaker 2:No, no, no no, second thought I got to go. No, no, no, no, no, Stick around.
Speaker 1:Stick around.
Speaker 2:It's been great hanging out with you guys. I think we're square. I say you know we're heading to river country. We were just giving you a hard time.
Speaker 1:But you know, if you want to go your separate ways, that's I respect it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know, I'll catch you guys later, not if we catch you first.
Speaker 1:Puts bulwark helmet on, starts bolting off. He never found it funny.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I say what I think is a great joke joke. I don't know what's wrong with him.
Speaker 1:He keeps awkwardly looking back at you guys.
Speaker 2:Oh, classic.
Speaker 1:Well.
Speaker 2:This was cool. I think this yo-yo is going to come in handy man. Yeah, I think so.
Speaker 1:This is going to change everything.
Speaker 2:I've never been so excited about a magical item really I love it.
Speaker 1:I'm glad you are loving it I will move you closer, or which way do you want to go this way?
Speaker 2:yeah, that's this is. This is uncharacteristic of you ben giving us that second leg of the road.
Speaker 1:I'm a benevolent guy. You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:I don't know what happened this week, but you just did such a good move. I appreciate it. That's what I appreciate about you as you continue your journey, you find a log cabin in a clearing.
Speaker 1:Well, this place is clear anyway. It's marked with a cricket banner. It's like a little picture of cricket. So 15, 10, and it looks like in an outpost of sorts, and there's a sort of an insectoid creature that notices you and um flips the close sign to open. Oh, Interesting.
Speaker 2:I instinctively looked down at my wrist and realized I don't have a watch, but wonder what time it is for him to have just opened, because I don't realize that he's just going to pray on us as we pass. I say we could probably use some more supplies. Never hurts to go check it out. We only have one salted meat left. One salted meat left. Yeah, we'll kind of mosey over and knock on the door. See, this is a really nicely constructed log cabin. I wonder where he got all the logs. I like your cricket.
Speaker 1:Thank you, I am yek. You can see him more clearly now. He looks like a moth kind of and he's quite tall. He has six limbs and his wings kind of drape over him like a cape. And he says would you like to drape over him like a cape, Mm-hmm. And he says would you like to stay for the night? I have food all for copper coins.
Speaker 2:Oh God, I wish we could like detect motive. I say, I say, aren't you usually kind of a nocturnal creature?
Speaker 1:it is night oh.
Speaker 2:I elbow Galen. Galen, wait, did we start our day at 14? Oh, and we spent a day, or we spent like one leg and then ended up in 1510? Because we've only made one travel check.
Speaker 1:Oh, I'm sorry.
Speaker 2:Right, I mean Sometimes the GM give us, sometimes the GM take it away.
Speaker 1:He's taking our days. Well, yes, yes, but I saw you. I saw you and I thought I would open up the inn.
Speaker 2:I said it's very kind of you, but we really have to make a little more progress today before we stop.
Speaker 1:Ah well, I do have an assortment of potions.
Speaker 2:Oh, you do. Now I say we would love to take a peek at your potion selection.
Speaker 1:Yeah, let's take a look at your stock. Okay, it takes you over to a glass case and you see an assortment of potions.
Speaker 2:An assortment of finery.
Speaker 1:Alchemical table. Alchemical, would you like some courage potion, great for the road.
Speaker 2:That could come in handy. That would be amazing. Actually, I say surely how much would it cost to um to part ways with that potion?
Speaker 1:well, these are silver coins, all of them, oh, oh I look over I assure you that's a good price.
Speaker 2:No, no, it's not about. It's not about your price. I look to Riley and I say we have two silver pouches left. Would you be willing to trade? We have some Magnificent items. Look at this umbrella. It covers you In the rain.
Speaker 1:That looks a little dingy To be honest, watch this.
Speaker 2:I'll like take out my bow and like toss it into the air and like keep catching it and be like trusty. Bow Can never be dropped.
Speaker 1:Huh, looks a fine, make Sure.
Speaker 2:I will trade him for a courage potion, your trusty bow for a courage potion. Yeah, I've got a sling?
Speaker 1:I have a sling, yeah.
Speaker 2:The sling is really good.
Speaker 1:Can I interest you in potion of flight Uh?
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Made from the very flint dust of my wings.
Speaker 2:I look at his wings it's lots of dust.
Speaker 1:Don't, don't sniff too close, wow, I might fly, oh OK, oh my gosh, if too close you'll fall asleep, wow.
Speaker 2:I might fly, oh, okay. Oh my gosh Galen is kind of uninterested in the potions, but he says thanks and lets Riley keep doing her shopping. Yeah, Riley is super interested in the flying Wow, I also have sleep powder Sleep powder Galen, these are the coolest potions ever. Flight Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1:Does that do anything for you?
Speaker 2:I don't know I've got these. Wow, galen, come on Spring for the flight potion. I say it's the group's money. If you want to spend a silver pouch on it, feel free. I need your approval. I mean sure it's fine. Galen's like yeah, it's fine, it's whatever you need. Alright, give him the money. I kind of parcel out a silver pouch. Let's pray that I don't spend the whole thing. The eight right, ben On the silver. I don't spend it. It becomes copper. I say ooh, all right, you know you drive a hard bargain, but these potions look to be well-made. You know we appreciate you being open for us.
Speaker 1:And how about this sleep powder? You could use it. You know, sneak past some terrible beast out there on the road. Very useful, very useful, it is useful.
Speaker 2:I say well, with the flight potion, one of us could at least fly past it.
Speaker 1:Well, you could probably get a couple swigs out of it for both of you, ah, I say is this sleep powder cheaper than the flight potion?
Speaker 2:a couple swigs out of it for both of you. Ah, I say, is the sleep powder cheaper than the flight potion?
Speaker 1:It's all the same.
Speaker 2:Ah, yes, silver coins.
Speaker 1:Yes, I make it simple here.
Speaker 2:No, it's true, it's a simple situation. I'm going to pass on the sleep powder, james, unless you want it. I guess we've bought two of them already, patrick you said no, thank you.
Speaker 1:Thank you for your business. We are in the area. Stop by For sure.
Speaker 2:Good to meet you, Yuck. And you, we have to remember this hex and return to this place. Oh yeah, I definitely have the hex marked 1510.
Speaker 1:Hex marks the spot Pungent quest.
Speaker 2:Okay, roll the video. Roll that beautiful pun footage Pungent quest Cool. Alright, roll the video. Roll that beautiful footage quest cool. All right, we should be on our way then. Yeah, is it? It's my turn. No, like I just rolled it, I think it's Riley's turn for the check.
Speaker 1:I think it is your turn, george, is it? Oh yeah, I rolled the discovery, discovery yes, it is your turn, george, is it? Oh yeah, I rolled the Discovery.
Speaker 2:Ah, yes, the Discovery.
Speaker 1:So this will close out your fourth day on the road. We gotta roll On the road again. That's an 11. Blazing through it.
Speaker 2:It's true, seve Blazers.
Speaker 1:Well, actually it is a 12, because you're on the road again.
Speaker 2:Oh you're literally on the road again Look at that Exciting. That's actually really cool. I'm glad we made it up to the middle. This is the most successful traveling we've had in a long time. Well, you know, give it a moment Right when we needed it to, we've got a long way to go. We have a fair amount of.
Speaker 1:A long way to go. We're at G20.
Speaker 2:Roll it, Georgie 19. I'm going to try to Ben I. Can I pick herbs along the way?
Speaker 1:herbs? Um, I don't know, is that a uh? Yeah, why not?
Speaker 2:I mean it's a resource thing, right like the hunt to gather materials you find a treasure chest while I'm really obscured by dirt and debris.
Speaker 1:I don't know if you guys already found this I think maybe we did, but maybe there's another one that's exactly the obscured treasure chest. It's locked.
Speaker 2:Oh, dang it. Unwanted attention. It's locked. Go on. I tell Riley to hey, get your dynamite. There's no more dynamite. There hasn't been for many quests. Alright, well, I'll just use my once per session ability and cut the lock off.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, Nice.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I kind of fire up the fire axe and I gently like carve the lock off.
Speaker 1:There's a note inside To Nom. It says Hardy's Hideaway Password. There's a note inside To Nam. It says Hardy's hideaway Password is pumpernickel. Ask for the one-eyed bog roll by the name of Obi Dundee. He's got jobs for rogues like us. This might have been in a different campaign.
Speaker 2:I totally have had this before. This is very familiar Password Pumpernickel.
Speaker 1:I tell you, one thing that you need to do for the game is more discoveries.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it'll work. I only charge 10 cents. A discovery. How many more should we do? Like 100? At least.
Speaker 1:Well, just hey Bernard, hey Bernard. More should we do, like 100 at least.
Speaker 2:Well, just, it's currently at hey, bernard, hey bernard, your luck has already been blessing it's already been blessing us.
Speaker 1:We've been rolling really well not gonna would. Yeah, thanks for uh, thanks for joining luck doesn't tank once bernard has showed up. Like what would that mean? No, not, it means possible, it means that we have failed him. Yeah exactly.
Speaker 2:We have not appeased Bernard, so everything has failed, it's true, okay, oh, and then, ben, I found an herb, but I did attract unwanted attention, okay.
Speaker 1:Oh.
Speaker 2:All right, I found an herb, but I did attract unwanted attention.
Speaker 1:Okay, don't be wargs, don't be wargs, don't be wargs Today.
Speaker 2:Pardon me. Oh, yeah, I got it. Ooh, I got ash blossom Urban it up, baby.
Speaker 1:Mindy says are you really going to check out that note Seems dangerous.
Speaker 2:I hand it to Riley I say I don't know. I let her make decisions about those kind of things. She's got a good nose for those things.
Speaker 1:What's with all these people just burying stuff in the used-to-be forest?
Speaker 2:Well, there's no trees to hide in, like you know the tree stump holes, but there's just a bunch of there's nowhere left man. There's a large bandit population out here. Yeah, they are the predominant life form. Life form. You can see clutches of their eggs on the tree, little tiny bandit eggs oh, that's so stupid, but it's funny bandit eggs, what do you?
Speaker 1:do. As you sit around the campfire, you get telling stories any, any uh conversations you have.
Speaker 2:Actually, the first thing I do is ask crazy Ernie. I say, okay, all right, ernie, last time you set bear traps you almost took Mindy's foot. Um, can we set them together and not add more traps, or are you just going to be adding traps all night?
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah. This is when I do my best work and I wouldn't want to, you know, wake you from sleep. That's just ridiculous.
Speaker 2:Well, before you go to bed, could you you know in the morning when you wake up?
Speaker 1:Look, I thought we had a nice system going here.
Speaker 2:All right, you're right. You're right, ernie, you're right.
Speaker 1:I'll ask what you're at. You protect us during the day. I protect us at night.
Speaker 2:Alright Galen does not feel like he's going to sleep as soundly, mostly because he worries that, as the nights wear on, crazy Ernie's been getting more thorough and the traps have been getting closer and closer to our bodies, like almost outlining where you sleep.
Speaker 1:There are bear traps around you. It's like out, yeah, actually trapping your body?
Speaker 2:yeah, and then, like it makes me worry, I'm gonna roll over the middle of the night and lose an arm or something so riley has a totally different perspective on this like riley is finds herself staying up later and later watching ernie like tinker with these traps because she's a tinker herself. A couple of times she goes over to her own wagon and tries to copy some of the stuff he does, but she doesn't have the motor skills or the skill to be able to replicate it.
Speaker 2:So she curses to herself and goes to sleep, wondering if she'll ever be as good as Crazy.
Speaker 1:Ernie Crazy. Ernie has a beautiful mind.
Speaker 2:Yeah, what are the chances? Crazy ernie notices riley doing this and starts to take her under his wing and, like, becomes the father figure that riley hasn't had in a while probably pretty low.
Speaker 1:he has no paternal instinct at all I mean you can make a charm, check riley at disadvantage. Yeah, you should see if you can make a charm, check Riley at disadvantage.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you should see if you can convince him to teach you a thing or two. Wow, nice, it's meant to be, I'm sorry, 11.
Speaker 1:11. Hey, come over here, kid.
Speaker 2:Let me show you something. I'm holding a bit of Jackal Rabbit that I was bringing him to his desk or whatever To the turtle. As Riley walks over, you hear a loud snap and a Jesus.
Speaker 1:Jesus is now canon. I'm'm sorry, I thought you said jesus, jesus, jesus jesus is short for jahiza fats, which is a uh bog roll um god, culinary celebrity.
Speaker 2:Yeah, ridiculous, yeah, um. And then and then galen comes walking over his like short buckler shield he has in his arm, has a bear trap on it and he's like I think, thank jesus that I wore this, that I wore my buckler to bed I'm gonna like I'm gonna kind of take like crazy ernie's like side on this and dismantle it for him Be like just got to watch where you're going, man.
Speaker 2:I mean, we're trying to protect the camp together and, like, do the thing to make it come off the shield Gail. Just walks away shaking his head, muttering, or his breath.
Speaker 1:See these warrior types. They just don't understand the true, you know, machinations of our minds. You know right.
Speaker 2:Now you're a shrimp.
Speaker 1:Okay, your people have given us, you blessed our society with amazing technology, all right, but you got to look at it from a unique perspective. You got to think outside the bun Wow.
Speaker 2:I probably did.
Speaker 1:You got to think outside the box, okay. He proceeds to show you some ways you've never seen, to use certain gears and sprockets, and it's kind of opening your mind. Um, at the end of this tutelage, with crazy irony, you will uh, you will have advantage on making traps.
Speaker 2:Amazing.
Speaker 1:Awesome, unless he dies Time's cut short.
Speaker 2:That would be tragic, crazy yeah.
Speaker 1:So the downside is you get no sleep and you're tired.
Speaker 2:I'll be yawning as I'm leading the wagon and you say were you up all night with that guy again? Yeah, so I can do what I want. No, no, you can't. I mean I get it, it's your thing. You love tinkering.
Speaker 1:I do.
Speaker 2:I kind of like help Riley up on top of my tortoise and tell her to take a take a nap in the morning then at least so she can be fresh towards the afternoon. Crazy Ernie and I both like snore really obnoxiously all day. My tortoise is kind of annoyed. It's rolling its eyes, but it's such a pro, yeah. It's a professional transporter. I'll make the realms check to start the day off, and it's at plus one, yeah, go ahead.
Speaker 1:Riley, you're not able to get a great sleep during the day, it's just that you're on the road. It's like go ahead, Riley. You're not able to get a great sleep during the day, it's just that you're on the road. It's not feasible. You ain't no crazy, Ernie is what I'm trying to say. So, for the day, until you properly rest, you will be minus one to Vim and Vigor checks.
Speaker 2:Got it, I will make a travel check Wow.
Speaker 1:Whoa, this is crazy.
Speaker 2:Ernie.
Speaker 1:It's crazy Ernie, make it.
Speaker 2:Good. Discover a chest, give me 19. Watch. All right, yeah, we got to up the discovery count. We're going to discover a chest. Give me a 19, watch 15. All right, yeah, we got to up the discovery count. Granted, it was supposed to be more rare. We're just rolling like amazing.
Speaker 1:Well, mathematically the thing is, it's not. It's like the most rare thing, is a perilous encounter because it's more likely that you're going to have a plus than a minus. I see Such yeah, grandiosity, grandiosity. Sorry, I've already found this before, but I'm just going to make sense. You find a massive mechanical saw within.
Speaker 2:Oh, yeah, another one of these.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's another giant saw.
Speaker 2:I'm going to mark this. Where is my sheet? I'm going to mark this, donnie, and this is in 17.9.
Speaker 1:We got to bring this, this is gold. I say, oh, we got to bring this, this is gold.
Speaker 2:I say, oh, we got one of these down in the crack.
Speaker 1:The crack.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:What are you doing down in the crack?
Speaker 2:Building the bridge yeah, building the bridge.
Speaker 1:Sounds like a death wish. I like it.
Speaker 2:Suddenly we realize that Crazy Ernie should just come work for us in the crack and we'll become our own corporation well, you know, I got a got a ton of high offers from uh corporations.
Speaker 1:Can you match their offers? You like yodeling.
Speaker 2:I detest yodeling we can't match, you're not going to like the crack. It's like echoing through the crack, for miles.
Speaker 1:The only music I like is jingles. Think outside the bun the only music I like is jingles?
Speaker 2:seriously, we need to bring this saw, I want this I say, uh, all right, hook it up to the tortoise. Wait, wait, wait, wait. I say you got to get the wheels working at least, so it's not too much for fb to pull. We've got the wagon too, so we've got like a mule, yeah uh I have to hit you lugging this will totally slow your journey.
Speaker 1:It's like a huge thing, but not if we fix the wheels.
Speaker 2:No, I guess, even if we fix the wheels, let's tell crazy Ernie that like we'll mark the spot and he can come back here and get it after we drop him off at SPL. I don't think he's going to let this go.
Speaker 1:Look, we're almost at SPL. We'll be there in a week logging that thing. But who?
Speaker 2:cares, we don't have time. We've got to get the logjam that is so far away. Oh my gosh, I know We've got to haul butt, I tell you what We'll sabotage it so that no one else can take it, but do it in a way that only you guys can repair, or something that actually might convince him. Huh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I can oath-bearer him.
Speaker 2:Okay convince him. Huh, um, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I can oath bear, I can oath bear him. Okay. Well, no, no you, maybe you try to do yours first, james and I'll, I'll. I was just gonna do like, uh, I for clues and make up like a special firing pin that this device can't operate without, and it's so rare that if I pocket it, no one will be able to. It's all the spork plugs, you know. Yeah, spork plug is what I'm talking about.
Speaker 1:It's a spork plug, alright.
Speaker 2:Roll it. That is a 10. No, that's a 9. No, no 10. 10. Wait, where did you roll this Slow? That's a 9. No, no 10.
Speaker 1:10. Wait, where did you roll this Slow?
Speaker 2:It's slow coming in oh yeah, oh there, it is there, it is yeah, roll 20 is failing us. We're going to have to play in tabletop simulator from now on.
Speaker 1:He says good eye apprentice, give me that.
Speaker 2:He actually doesn't even talk.
Speaker 1:I like go get red, I'm glowing, I got an attaboy from Chris Urine.
Speaker 2:Alright, well, I guess.
Speaker 1:I'll go back to sleep then. That's enough excitement for one night day, whatever well, you know day whatever. Back to sun lords so I keep uh losing our place during days. So the first one two was the first part of the third day.
Speaker 2:Yeah, three, three four, four, so one, yeah, so you should be moving here.
Speaker 1:Yeah, for the first part.
Speaker 2:No, no, that was only one square right. Or did we move two? We moved two at a time? No, no, where did we start? Oh, we were at 17. Nine. We started at 16. Nine.
Speaker 2:Yes, we're at 18 nine, okay, sorry, sorry sorry, yeah, I didn't realize I had moved already. Every hex counts, you know, um amazing. So that's the first, uh, first leg. Uh, ben, remind me so I can keep. Every time we get a 12 or above, we can roll a traveling check. I feel like I'm doing it too much, but I also enjoy that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't know if I waver on, if it should just be like 9 through 11. You can do that because you have the time.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you're afforded the leisure.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because 12 is you're discovering something like yeah, you're afforded the leisure.
Speaker 2:Yeah, cause 12 is you're discovering something like right, I mean, I think it's fun, but we're going to get like a ton of components which could be good or bad for game balance, but I don't, I don't know. I mean it's more fun for characters and you can just choose to not do it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I just. I just wonder if it like bogs down some stuff, it's like so many things are happening in one leg.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I get what you're saying.
Speaker 1:Uh, it's up to you okay, I think I'm not going to be a benevolent jam right now and say that it's just nine through eleven so it's only nine through eleven.
Speaker 2:Okay, I'm gonna refer you to pay 65 of the player's handbook. That says, uh, make a travel check and get the results of uneventful doing a discover. I'm just teasing. Yeah, I do think that that's better, because it would only like you don't want to keep stacking when there's discoveries. Okay, no, I get it. So then it's Riley's turn, is it? No, it's my turn. Yeah, it's you turn, is it no? No, no, it's my turn.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's you.
Speaker 2:I'm so sorry. Wait, is it? Oh wait, I'll just roll it. Yeah it's yours, because I just rolled a 12 plus 3. Yeah, my 9 was for the spark plug. The spark plug check. It's an 11.
Speaker 1:11. Riley, you get to search for resources. Galen gets jealous.
Speaker 2:I do, I do. I'm so busy trying to feed the horse or the donkey and my tortoise and polish the shells and Riley's off gallivanting.
Speaker 1:George, do you still have the table?
Speaker 2:open. I can, I'm going to roll. Yeah, just roll a d12. What are you trying to find Like elemental components?
Speaker 1:Okay, this is the end of the fifth day. I trust you Used to be forest. I think it's used to be forest. I think it's going to be at blossom again. Oh no, no ironwooled root.
Speaker 2:We are making decent progress, like we might be just in time and you will end up at wallies for the night.
Speaker 1:Perfect, actually, but you have to go to SPL and you will end up at Wally's for the night, which is perfect, actually, but you have to go to SPL. Depends on what you want to do.
Speaker 2:Oh is that what crazy or anyone wants to do.
Speaker 1:Um.
Speaker 2:I think we can have the discussion at Wally's over some waffles and works.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you can askorgs. Yeah, you could ask him now.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:He says well, I mean, they're putting a lot of money on the table. From what I hear from you, it's true.
Speaker 2:I like the idea that he can help. Hey Lightmare Shadow. Welcome to the stream. Howdy Ahoy, I'm trying to remember if wally I'm sorry, wally mob was was. So wazinski wants ernie to help her keep spl in check right like or as part of her, like master plan to keep it going.
Speaker 1:Crazy Ernie, I think, is more about keeping other companies from having his mind on their side.
Speaker 2:Everyone wants to possess Crazy Ernie.
Speaker 1:Because it swings the power.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I just worry that his traps would be used against us in terms of trying to stop Justina Brink. What is the other option for him is bringing him back all the way down to Vera the Magician. But she's she's Krogan's sons or unassailable co. She's unassailable co.
Speaker 1:I think she's an assailable co and actually.
Speaker 2:An assailable co.
Speaker 1:Wyszynski actually promised you more money. Oh yeah, if we like For returning him If we give. Oh right, and then? We just asked if you wanted to do it, and he said yes I think he's under the impression that he's going to be paid more as well, but I don't know if that's well, we'll have to figure that out.
Speaker 2:We're gonna find out when we hand him over and walk away the wheelbarrows of gold. Um, last time we went there we walked out with a wheelbarrow worth of gold. Yeah, incomprehensible amount of wealth. Oh god, I'm so worried yeah, all gone, it's all gone. We own a ship, we bought a boat. It's like buying a zoo we bought a zoo, we bought a zoo. Um so, ben, have we moved our piece yet? Did you move for us?
Speaker 1:I did not move. I, I moved it.
Speaker 2:I think Ben has been moving Like throwing me off, which is like totally fine. Um so we are Done for the day at 20.9. Yes okay, then we gonna go Sleep. We've had like discussion. I think that, yeah, I would like to just turn in Crazy or any to spl and call it a day Um At more out of convenience than anything, and he seems to be happy with that idea so far. Well, you know, we can always rescue him again.
Speaker 1:I'm happy with cash. You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:I do. I too am happy with quiche.
Speaker 1:Let's do it. You got any quiche? I'm hungry.
Speaker 2:I look over at Riley and say what's for dinner? I got one salted meat. I can cook it up. Got a bullet in your pender goose? We have five rations and a Nacadonkey. We can still do those. The salted meats are D8. We have five rations and a Naked Donkey. We could still do those. Yeah, roll one of those. The salted meats are D8. Yeah, I'm going to roll a ration for the lizard. Keep that guy alive. Wow, this little greedy punk. I say hey, spit, spit, no.
Speaker 1:It tends to eat rations.
Speaker 2:It really does?
Speaker 1:It's like the second time I say spit it out, spit, it tends to eat rations.
Speaker 2:It really does. It's like the second time I say spit it out, Give it, give it and it eats the whole thing.
Speaker 1:Oh, man, that was a.
Speaker 2:French bread pizza one too.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:It glares at me, spits fire and then runs away and hides on Claudio's head.
Speaker 1:Claudio.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and she gets her feathers ruffled up trying to defend it, saying no, you back off my child, if you think about it. We have an enormous group.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's not like there's a whole wagon, a giant tortoise.
Speaker 2:I've got to delete Remming from the current party listing Remming. But we do have Claudia and the Lizard. They are now a package deal. They are a fire-breathing battle chicken, Breathing battle chicken. Yeah, Zona Inbach writes down. He says I have noticed the Lizard eyeing me. I wonder if he has a taste for mushrooms. He do. It's possible. You never know. We'll usually delete anything.
Speaker 1:Attaching his mouth.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he's like Nas. Yeah, he's Nas. On Zonian Buck Night passes uneventfully yeah keep rolling sixes. I love it.
Speaker 1:Even with our TBD.
Speaker 2:Would have been the hardest one. It's amazing that we're able to. I mean, we're focused though.
Speaker 1:The dice.
Speaker 2:Gods might be with us because we're focused on travel. Well, they know that we need to get there in time. You want? To roll it up for your check Sure, sure.
Speaker 1:Sure Ten. Look at this. Sure, sure, sure Ten man. You want a resource? Have a resource.
Speaker 2:Have a resource baby. Another elemental Six With unwanted attention.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's with unwanted attention. So you increase our unwanted attention. Roll later. Let's see, we're at 22.9, and we need to go to 37.10. 15-ish hexesies, that's still another seven plus days. Eight if we go to SPL, I love it, this is awesome. Yeah, so then we should maybe not even go to Wally's, we should just go to 2410. Actually, that's probably the same. So we'll go to Wally's, I'll roll. Sorry, I need to roll. We go to Wally's, wally's and Wogs, I'm going to roll for some fish because Wally's has installed a new kind of like little fishing pond they stock to bring in travelers. It's like a Bass Pro Shop. Yeah, it's basically Bass Pro Shop. That's a nine.
Speaker 1:Those are cool.
Speaker 2:By the way, if you've ever seen that I've been so many times, I am that kind of guy.
Speaker 1:Okay, you get to Wally's Waffles and Wards. It's bumping tonight at Wally's.
Speaker 2:Bumping.
Speaker 1:They've got Amateur Night on stage. People singing there's a bard yeah. It's like a bard playing the tuba. It's actually two of them.
Speaker 2:Dueling tubas.
Speaker 1:They look like identical twins. No-transcript.
Speaker 2:Mostly because at our booth Crazy Ernie has begun setting up traps again. The waitress can't even get to us. What do you want, darling? I can't get to you.
Speaker 1:So many bear traps on the floor. Galen, you also insisted on bringing the tortoise in for a long time. There was an argument at the floor. Yeah, there was like you, galen. You also like insisted on bringing the tortoise in for a long time. There was like an argument at the door.
Speaker 2:I say, look, she'll stand in the back. She deserves to be out of the cold.
Speaker 1:She can't fit in here.
Speaker 2:Okay, I can see she'll be fine. I awkwardly make everyone go silent as I start pulling a table that squeaks on the floor as I slowly pull it to make room After Riley is done. I look back at the person stopping and I say, fine, but I'm bringing the chicken and the lizard in.
Speaker 1:Well, you know, don't get mad at me if they end up on a dinner plate.
Speaker 2:All right, the lizard spits a little bit our table and there's a chicken, a gelatinous goo, a lizard playing cards with each other wow, it's like those dogs playing cards, but those guys instead hard to ask.
Speaker 1:Is that one band there? I think yes, yes, totally oh yeah, I love it, they perk up. Did we name them? I don't remember the like boggles. I think they were boggarts.
Speaker 2:I thought there was boggles too. It's like a group.
Speaker 1:The one that was. They've been through so much.
Speaker 2:Yeah, right, right, Chased by werewolves. Oh, the werewolf outside of SPL which still haunts the Moors between here and there. Yeah, we're pretty much going to get mauled on our way over.
Speaker 1:They come over to you and like hey, hey, we lost our kazoo player again.
Speaker 2:I don't know where she went, but Wait was this a new Do you want to fill in A new kazoo player.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know what they say about kazoo players right gone like a fart in the wind exactly look, look, we could use one of you, okay.
Speaker 2:I've never done kazoo. I'm a slide whistle girl. It's the same principle.
Speaker 1:I mean the same principles, yeah.
Speaker 2:We both say it in unison and I'm like yeah.
Speaker 1:Look we're on in a couple minutes. This is for a lot of bread here.
Speaker 2:I.
Speaker 1:You'll take away a bag of copper.
Speaker 2:I roll an inspiration check and I inspire Riley with a 13. You're going to get a plus two to your check before you roll, or once you. Yeah, so plus two to your kazoo check. I say Riley, Riley, you just blow and then do the thing where it goes wee-oo, wee-oo. You know? Okay, I can do this, Let me see. I pretend to be more nervous than I am.
Speaker 1:I'm actually like really excited to perform, yeah, um crazy or any.
Speaker 2:Like tinkers with the kazoo, it auto tunes it no.
Speaker 1:So because you've never heard any of their songs, you have disadvantage that's hilarious okay, you're making uh a charm check five. Do you want to use a quest point?
Speaker 2:yes, don't you get um. Do you have a bonus charm plus one?
Speaker 1:oh wait and you get plus two, plus two okay, seven max is plus three.
Speaker 2:I'm gonna use oh with oh with a quest point.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I can make a seven, it wouldn't be a difference.
Speaker 2:So six Six and seven are the same.
Speaker 1:Yeah, success with a twist. You, your performance is adequate. There are spots where you lose the beat, kind of get lost, but only the trained ears of the judges would notice such a thing. The crowd cheers for the performance of the band. So because that's the twist, I'm going to have to make another roll to see if your band ultimately beats out the rest of the people.
Speaker 1:Okay, disadvantage no, just make a charm. 11. Eleven, nice. We need to think of a name for them. This band, yeah, bernard. What should the name of this band be?
Speaker 2:You should roll a random thing, Ben, or at least for one of it Random band names.
Speaker 1:This has got to be a table that we yeah, you guys have to have.
Speaker 2:Yeah we'll, when we add a bunch of discoveries, we'll, add a table for band names. They call them Yakety Yowl Jacks, you know.
Speaker 1:I think we should actually just have a list of even if they're just like a d6, just like super specific, like you know culture and yeah, like pop culture icons and stuff yeah, just like those type of tables like james and I have already talked about comedians and like random joke tables yeah, mostly just Carrot Top and Gallagher and various it would be hard to get away from that, for sure. Yeah, but the daily life of the Mucklins? Prop comedy, actually prop comedy bands, you know comic strips.
Speaker 2:The works. I love it.
Speaker 1:It's good.
Speaker 2:Alright.
Speaker 1:So we've got Salty yeah, that's actually A pretty good start Salty, salty.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's actually a pretty good start, salty. Salty scuff, uh-huh, yeah, keep it going. And the Halifax, oh the Brave, okay All right, I'm going with the Brave and the.
Speaker 1:Brave.
Speaker 2:Goblins, goblins, oh my God.
Speaker 1:That's actually really good it works out.
Speaker 2:It really does salty scuff and the brave goblins. That's them, that's canon, randomly generated. I lean into Crazy Ernie who's tinkering is it?
Speaker 1:weird that none of them are goblins uh, yeah, that, I find that offensive yeah well, uh, to be honest, guys, there could have been goblins between all those hardship.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they've. All the goblins in the band have gotten eaten. There are no more goblins, just no more left. Yeah, there were. The goblins in the band have gotten eaten. There are no more goblins, just no more left. Yeah, there were once goblins and they kept the band name for recognition One of the band members whose name is Roll it Krix. I'll just roll it Krix. Maydean, braylon, braylon, braylon.
Speaker 1:He says Riley's right. You know the founder of the band. Actually there's a family. Two brothers Grew up with them and they got eaten by wargs. You know, on the road it's, it's really Kind of harrowing out here. It's like these road tours in the used-to-be forests For the faint of heart. Yeah, anyway, here's your cut Riley, that was great. Get a copper coins.
Speaker 2:Thanks, if you're ever looking for a kazoo player copper coins.
Speaker 1:Thanks, Just two copper coins, if you're ever looking for you know, a kazoo player.
Speaker 2:Riley's totally fulfilled a lot of her dreams in this quest. She's really living her best life.
Speaker 1:Yeah, listen. If you want to lose this big old frog guy, go ahead and join the band I think I'll stick with him.
Speaker 2:Wow, sorry.
Speaker 1:How do I suit yourself? I mean, it's you use that cute factor.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean, Galen immediately puts his hand in his sword. What? What Do I have to defend her? Do I have to defend her? Yeah, do I have to defend your honor, riley? Unless that's what you want.
Speaker 1:I mean Forget, I said anything.
Speaker 2:I got to go take a leak. Riley is like just loves this whole thing. She can't get enough of it. Her eyes are also bigger than her stomach because she spends the cover buying like waffles for the whole table and she's like got a pile in front of her like way more than she could ever eat. Yeah, the lizard has eaten an entire waffle, like whole, and his body is now zona inbuck is, instead of writing anything down, he sketches the lizard because he's going to send this drawing into the magazine as like an illustration to go along with one of his articles. The fire lizard is malleable in shape we have the best table at Wally's Waffles and Orgs that.
Speaker 1:I've ever seen yeah so, riley, you guys are hearing a rumor this is a real rumor from the sandbox that Wally's been desperate for cash lately and so this whole amateur night thing is to draw new customers and the winner of the show actually won a magical item.
Speaker 2:But none of the band told you Wow, the winner of the show actually won a magical item but none of the band told you Wow, I mean, you know rude, I'm going to uh Sontra over to the band. Be like so. Uh, I hear you guys want a magical item, but you didn't share well, that's true, but I mean, you're not really.
Speaker 1:You know you. We appreciate the favor.
Speaker 2:Wow, she's not part of the band. I see, I get it. That's cool. You can keep your magical item. I've got my own and I'll make the pulmo yo-yo dance with me as I walk away. Like Sashang Whoa, the yo-yo is somehow sassy in its performance.
Speaker 1:It seems magical All of a sudden, the whole place is circled around you and watching and oohing and aahing. You're not even trying. I take the yo-yo, pop it back in my pocket and do a bow to the whole crowd. The whole place goes up cheering.
Speaker 2:Does Riley retroactively now win the entire contest?
Speaker 1:Wally'se's like I gotta give it to her no. But the bandmates come up and like they say look, uh, that thing is awesome. Um, we'll totally trade you this magic item for that. And they show you this, uh, buckler, and it has this like garishly painted goblin on it. Who's grinning?
Speaker 2:Sorry guys, pomo's yo-yo is we go way back yeah.
Speaker 1:Are you sure? I mean, you guys are like fighters or whatever.
Speaker 2:You'd be surprised how powerful that would be on the battlefield.
Speaker 1:I mean, this thing seems pretty great.
Speaker 2:I don't know, dude, I love this. You should absolutely not give up the yo-yo Under any circumstances.
Speaker 1:I feel like it makes you too happy After all, you guys are the brave goblins, I guess.
Speaker 2:Give up the yo-yo yeah under any circumstances. I feel like it makes you too happy.
Speaker 1:After all, you guys are the brave goblins yeah, I guess I mean we're gonna use it as our like, as the, as the drum bass drum oh, you should give it to your kazoo players so they don't die all the time.
Speaker 2:Gaming says it like really matter-of-factly, he's not trying to be a dick, he's like no, no, you should probably give that to the people who keep dying. Yeah, maybe you guys I mean like, we're not war, I'm not a warrior by trade, but I've learned how to defend myself maybe you guys should take some classes or something. Yeah, uh, you know we got a some kind of college annex that, uh, you can learn at battle classes.
Speaker 1:All right. Whatever, they walk away to their table.
Speaker 2:What does? That do out of curiosity.
Speaker 1:Make a lore check.
Speaker 2:You know it. Uh, it's a five. Uh, hold on, hold on, like I'll do. Uh, lend a hand. Hold on, hold on, like I'll do. Lend a hand and be like. I think I know what this is. Nice, there we go.
Speaker 1:What is your totes?
Speaker 2:My totes is nine, nine.
Speaker 1:Nice, you know that this is the Buckler of the Goblin's Grin. What it does is when someone attacks and misses you. Their next attack against you is minus one. That's really good, and it laughs audibly when something misses you that's even better.
Speaker 2:That's fantastic. Still can't give up this coolest thing ever yeah cool.
Speaker 1:You also hear some rumors, as you're sitting there and people are talking. You hear people. You know there's a Felmog Knight named Cherikor who's recruiting people in a town near Wally's called Fire Damp. Oh, okay, george. You also hear, like after the whole bog roll tortoise thing, that there are some tortoises that are sick and dying in Crickstop and no one knows why. Whoa.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we should check that out. Yeah, I'll highlight that on my sheet. I'll be orange. I say FB. I know you have family there. We can check it out on our way through Cricstop and I kind of brush her shell. Cool, Anything else today?
Speaker 1:I don't think so. I think that's probably a good place to stop, as you rest for the night at Wally's.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's reasonable. I like it. It was fun, it was good times, it was a good, that was a safe trip. Somehow it was like fun and safe and filled with like funny.
Speaker 1:Dude like every single check was a success.
Speaker 2:There were no bumps in the road, even yeah, that's crazy, it's a rarity, and this is like a perilous area, apparently, so they say Not for adventurers like us. We're going to curse ourselves the moment we try to go through the dirt and abduin. Next quest is going to be absolutely going to be a terrible next quest, but we had a good one today. Yeah, it's like I like these road trip quests. They're like fun in a new, different kind of way. It's basically the Blues Brothers, it's like the.
Speaker 1:Blues Brothers.
Speaker 2:Let's do a little XP's. Xp's who sees?
Speaker 1:Did you complete a quest or objective? No, no, did you solve a problem creatively?
Speaker 2:What problems did we have? We didn't have any problems. I know we didn't really have any problems. Yeah, I mean I did cut that lock off, but that's not creative. That was just using a tool.
Speaker 1:You encountered a new creature, Yek, who is a Flinderkin.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that was pretty cool.
Speaker 1:I would say I love how we were initially afraid of that guy it turns out he just owns a shop and everything's fine.
Speaker 2:Kind of wary of him, nice guy and got some awesome stuff from him.
Speaker 1:I would say you had a significant encounter with Crazy Ernie. So that's two. I think there was role playing stuff, but let's hash, so that's two I think there was role-playing stuff but let's hash it out. I mean there was just some, even if it was with NPCs or whatever.
Speaker 2:I think definitely between Riley and Crazy Ernie. I'm trying to remember if I really had any interactions with anyone. I mean you had like an opposite interaction with Crazy Ernie, like trying to get him to stop setting traps around. That's true. I mean I think that there was just like party banter with Crazy Ernie. Yeah, it was like a ton of party banter.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was like lots of, which is kind of like nice from a role play perspective, I think, yeah, like filling out even riley and my or personalities without having to be like, oh, riley and gailey need to have a chat, yeah, right right, you did have a chat about like oh yeah, are we agree? Yeah?
Speaker 1:we are and we agreed that we were yeah, we.
Speaker 2:But we like, we rationalize it away as like it's necessary for us to be able to stop the sarpathy we have to like and then that was shattered when the treasure ended up being a magical yo-yo. That's the key to winning the sarpathy. I believe that at some point in the future, the magical yo-yo will come into play in a spectacular way. Yeah, it's actually a thermal debt. Wow, A thermal designator. I mean they got spark plugs in this game. Maybe they have thermal debts. You know True that, Cool. So you know True that.
Speaker 1:Cool, so 3 XP.
Speaker 2:Not profitable, but a good invention in a list. I thought it was.
Speaker 1:It's more profitable XP-wise to run into trouble.
Speaker 2:It is yeah.
Speaker 1:In terms of your characters' lives and uh.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, this is a map. Yeah, this has been good for our journey. So we're at 24. We need to get to 37 13, so six and a half days. Well, it'll be seven days with SPL, so we're probably right on schedule to barely get there in time.
Speaker 1:It's actually faster because you are traveling four hexes per day.
Speaker 2:You've been moving us right, ben.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's two legs. Two legs, I mean two hexes per leg, so that's four.
Speaker 2:Oh, four per day. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. I keep thinking it's two per day.
Speaker 1:My bad, it was two legs per day yes, I think you're just like we're used to quagmash yeah, two per day yeah, that's right, quagmash is a slog yeah okay cool over mountains and stuff you're only moving.
Speaker 2:No, totally well, we still. Yeah, I still worry, but you know you're right, we are much better. Totally Well, we still. Yeah, I still worry, but you know you're right, we are much better prepared than we thought we were going to be.
Speaker 1:Um, I think this is the end of the sixth day, right?
Speaker 2:Yes, Sounds right.
Speaker 1:So George, make a note of that, yep.
Speaker 2:George, uh minutes. Read them back to me. Alright, I have made notes. Cool, still cutting it close. Yeah, got a little sphincter tightening going on.
Speaker 1:Especially if, especially if you get lost.
Speaker 2:How did that kill James? All I do at work all day is talk about sphincters. I mean, you know as you do as one does. Yeah, we got. What was that, ben? We got lost.
Speaker 1:I'm saying, especially if you get lost, you could do more interesting things.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, we got lost. I'm saying especially if you get lost, ah, yes, yeah, we go through Quick Stop.
Speaker 1:Yeah, are you guys going to go this way?
Speaker 2:I think we're going to go SGL Quick Stop, river Log Jam. Yeah, I think so. I don't think we should stop in Rascleton Because we might run into people we know.
Speaker 1:That's where Mindy wants to go, so you're just going to let her.
Speaker 2:We'll get her close enough. No, we'll stop. You're right, it's right there.
Speaker 1:if we'll stop, you're right.
Speaker 2:It's right there. If we take the river, it's right there. Yeah, cool guys. Well, this was super fun. Good Tims, indeed, until next Saturday, mon freres.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:We'll catch you all then.
Speaker 1:All right, thanks for tuning in.
Speaker 2:Thanks everybody, everybody for tuning in. A special thanks to all of our patrons on patreon and uh yeah I mean, I don't, we love you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, session 10 next week. All right, thanks everybody, bye-bye later.
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