Land of Eem: Actual Play
Join Ben Costa, James Parks, and George Higgins as they play the Land of Eem tabletop roleplaying game, inspired by the series of fantasy books: Dungeoneer Adventures and Rickety Stitch and the Gelatinous Goo.
Ben Costa and James Parks are the creators of Dungeoneer Adventures, Rickety Stitch and the Gelatinous Goo, and the tabletop roleplaying game, Land of Eem. They have been friends since the 2nd grade, and love making stuff together.
Lovers of fantasy, they strive to craft tales that celebrate the adventures of unlikely heroes. Ben and James grew up playing tabletop roleplaying games, creating countless characters and collaborative worlds with our pals, a pastime that paved the way for their creative careers, as authors and illustrators.
Land of Eem is a tabletop roleplaying published in partnership with indie game publisher, Exalted Funeral. and is about adventurers exploring and discovering the remnants of a forgotten better age. Described as The Lord of the Rings meets The Muppets, players portray lore-seeking travelers, fortune-seeking pioneers, and adventure-seeking heroes in a time devoid of them. But for all its post-apocalyptic doom and gloom, Land of Eem is tonally quite lighthearted and droll.
Dungeoneer Adventures is a fun, middle-grade fantasy adventure series from Simon & Schuster, about the only human kid attending the adventure school, Dungeoneer Academy. The books are packed with illustrations and available at Target, Barnes & Noble, and Amazon, or you can ask for them wherever books are sold.
Rickety Stitch and the Gelatinous Goo is a fun YA graphic novel series from Random House, about a skeleton bard and his best friend on an epic quest to discover who he was when he was alive. The books are available through Exalted Funeral or online at Amazon, and you can ask for them wherever books are sold.
For more visit:
https://landofeem.com
Land of Eem: Actual Play
Land of Eem: Fantasy Actual Play S02E13 | The Perilous Grind
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What happens when Rylee and Galen face off against a colossal, malfunctioning lumber mill teeming with deadly sputter-jacks? Join Ben Costa and James Parks—creators of Rickety Stitch and the Gelatinous Goo and Dungeoneer Adventures—alongside lead playtester and sidekick George Higgins, as they navigate the perilous Gretchomaticus factory in this action-packed episode of the Land of Eem TTRPG, played in the Mucklands Campaign Sandbox Setting and published by Exalted Funeral.
This high-stakes journey brings thrilling dungeon crawls, mechanical adversaries, and clever strategies to the forefront. From disabling a powerful engine to confronting the menacing grinder, Riley’s daring pole vaulting and Galen’s quick thinking showcase the party’s resilience and teamwork in the face of danger.
But the excitement doesn’t stop there! This episode is a treasure trove of updates and insights, including the announcement of the release date for Rickety Stitch Book Three: The Battle of the Bards, updates on editing the core rulebook, and enhancements to random encounters. Plus, we unveil the launch of the Land of Eem merch store, bringing fans even closer to the whimsical world of Eem.
As the party travels back from Dunk to Logjam, reliving past adventures in the forest and Dirtnap Dunes, the camaraderie shines through in a playful debate over a French term that perfectly encapsulates their bond. Packed with humor, suspense, and gripping battles, this episode captures the heart of Fantasy Actual Play, Collaborative Storytelling RPGs, and the TTRPG community.
Download the Land of Eem Quickstart Guide for FREE, and join this exhilarating adventure today!
https://linktr.ee/landofeem
Welcome. Hey, Good morning fellas. Hey, howdy hi everybody, Good morning to you viewers. Today is the 13th session of the second season of the Land of Eme actual play. It has been a harrowing adventure filled with both laughter and tears. Today's going to be a day of tears, Lots of tears. Got a dungeon crawl today.
Speaker 2:The tears of our enemies, as we drive them before us and hear the lamentations of their women.
Speaker 1:Wow.
Speaker 2:That was way out of order. An 80s Conan reference.
Speaker 1:I recognized it immediately it's a meme. You see, it's a meme.
Speaker 2:A meme-yently.
Speaker 1:A meme-ay it's a meme. A meme.
Speaker 2:Doing good man.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's been really good, Very busy. Lots of Land of Eme things, Lots of Rickety Stitch things going on. Got the book coming out in gosh a month.
Speaker 2:Exactly, exactly, a month. Yeah, april 27th I've got my pre-order locked in Book threeth.
Speaker 1:I've got my book three the battle of the bards. Battle of the bards, indeed many years in the making. Uh was delayed a year because of uh all of the covid things, and now it's finally hitting bookshelves and you can ask for it anywhere in north america where books are sold. But if you're outside of North America you can't ask for it anywhere in North. America. Well, I guess yeah, I mean it's you could probably get your hands on it somehow.
Speaker 2:Email Ben Costa at yeah, you can.
Speaker 1:You can get it from our website, landcom, as well, so we got you guys have a our website, landaveemcom as well.
Speaker 2:Is the merch store forthcoming?
Speaker 1:It's live actually, Is it?
Speaker 2:live.
Speaker 1:We've got the book one and book two as well as some Landaveem goodies like the beta. You can download the beta for free at landaveemcom.
Speaker 2:Pull it up and show it to the viewers.
Speaker 1:It's not a bad idea. We've also got some of the rickety stitch t-shirts which folks always ask us about back in the day when there would be conventions. Well, I'm going to veto pulling it up right now. Too much work, too much. So okay, folks, you'll have to take our word for it and go to landerbeamcom. I love it.
Speaker 2:I love it.
Speaker 1:It's so good uh, I was gonna say, though, that, uh, we've been making a lot of headway on um, you know, editing the core rule book. We've had some editors look it over and they've been doing it. They've been doing a fantastic job too, and I'm really excited about the updated version. Been working a ton on additional random encounters. If you've been watching the stream for a while, you may have heard us talk about how, oh, we need more discoveries, or we need more dangerous encounters, or whatnot, and so we've brought the discoveries up from 20 per region to 100, which has been quite the task. It's almost complete. We've got used-to-be. Forest is all that's left. Lots of goodies and tools for GMs and stuff. I'm excited about it. There's the guilt of Ben. That's actually George.
Speaker 1:I insisted, george is using his phone to add this to the stream.
Speaker 2:It's not true. It's back to the stream Enhance, yeah, but see we can buy two hardcover books. The third one will be up soon enough. Get the beta rulebook right there. That's pretty awesome. We got some.
Speaker 1:Rick and George are shill here.
Speaker 2:I am all shill, all the time.
Speaker 1:Oh, the stickers. I forgot about the stickers. Ben did a great set of Land of Eam hero stickers.
Speaker 2:Let's enhance that. Oh my gosh, look at these stickers. We got a.
Speaker 1:Rylee and Galen.
Speaker 2:Look at that.
Speaker 1:No, no no, who's that Hanging from the ceiling she's supposed to be?
Speaker 2:upside down.
Speaker 1:Well, you got to fit them on a page, you know?
Speaker 2:No, no no, no, oh, there's a Riley Sprinkles and a Galen Dundugal. I'm going to go ahead and highlight something real quick, whoa.
Speaker 1:Holy cats. That is a real live typo.
Speaker 2:It's actually Galen's brother.
Speaker 1:Actually, I think that was his original name.
Speaker 2:Was it really? Is that true? Is it some deep Galen lore?
Speaker 1:A sneak peek behind the curtain as we were developing these characters.
Speaker 2:I love this shirt, simply.
Speaker 1:I wear this shirt myself, like all the time. Alright, I got one, alright here we go Back to the action, back to the land of Eme.
Speaker 2:Back to the action, back to the land of Eam, back to the Shack of Eam.
Speaker 1:So you guys just to recap for the viewer situation over here. You've traveled all the way across the map from Dunk across the Ysby Forest and all the way to Logjam in the River Country. We took the Great Slog to give us some to be advantageous.
Speaker 2:And what a slog it was.
Speaker 1:What a slog it was. Almost died in the dirt map dunes. That was rough.
Speaker 2:Dirt map dunes are the worst place I've ever been in the entirety of the Mucklins.
Speaker 1:I don't know, the Sarpathy Temple thing was rough.
Speaker 2:It was a walk in the park compared to the dirt and abdiums that's true, that was some heavy duty fighting.
Speaker 1:Do you guys know what this means? No, no, it's just glad is that another way of saying sisqua, like in french? Uh, what is that? What is, what is this? If it was?
Speaker 2:french and spelled differently sequoia. What's air? Maybe it's like what's up? Oh, sequoia is used informally by everybody in every day conversations. Thank you to lingocom saying translation. What is it? I don't know I don't know.
Speaker 1:Hey, that's what I said no, I just ignored everything you said that, like my, um five years of french from first to fifth grade, like what's been dm? This entire thing in French I mean, james had French too. I was in his class, you taught it, but all we really absorbed was Pierre-Pierre-Paul, paul-pierre-pierre, pierre-pierre-paul-paul, yeah, pierre-pierre-paul, paul-pierre-paul. I just remember Je suis le grand musée.
Speaker 2:Wow, I am the grand musée. I just remember what was it, Encino man. Was that the one where he's like qui occupe le fromage? Or is that from Animaniacs?
Speaker 1:Or is that from Goofy the Goofy movie? I think it's Animaniacs. The bird sounds that I just heard made that in my head.
Speaker 2:They're tweeting at you. We're on logjam. We're way off track here. I don't have 40 kicks.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we're way off track here. Yeah, getting back to the land of EAM. Okay, your whole purpose, logjam is to divert this lumber shipment that Destina Brank of SPL LLC is acquiring for her dastardly nefarious operation. And you want it twofold, for reasons twofold. Okay, to screw that up and also to use it for your own endeavors, like building the crack bridge Over here Crack bridge Ready and uh it for your own endeavors like building the crack bridge over here crack bridge, and fortifying the ship that Pendergoose I think that's his name yes, Lumply.
Speaker 1:Pendergoose, lumply Pendergoose, bot Uncle Noggin is like all I can capture so you guys can become pirates.
Speaker 2:Pirates of the Earth, and so we can die on Terror Island.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So you came to Logjam, but you discovered that things have gone awry. The normal day-to-day workings of the lumberjacks in the lumber mill has been halted because their main facility is completely shut down and the sputterjacks which are sputter lumberjacks have gone haywire and they're killing people. People who've gone in to investigate have never come out, and there are tons of workers that just have never come out because the place shut down suddenly. And so there's a bunch of workers outside cutting lumber the old-fashioned way and they're way behind and they've got all of these companies down their throats telling them to hurry up.
Speaker 2:It's true.
Speaker 1:well summed up and so you guys struck a deal with for the foreman bar con. Okay, oh yes, that if you go and solve this problem, put an end to chaos inside the facility. The Gretchomaticus is what it's called. He'll look the other way when you take the lumber. It's a good deal, and we've got that guy. That barge is waiting for us to complete the mission.
Speaker 2:And we paid him two patches of gold.
Speaker 1:Well, you will have to pay him more on the way out. Well, we'll see about that.
Speaker 2:It's like suddenly take over his ship and just become pirates.
Speaker 1:Using like a river barge on the high seas as pirates yeah, I love it, I love it. All right, so you see this massive facility before you. I see it.
Speaker 2:I can envision it, describe it to me.
Speaker 1:It is nighttime, because there really isn't time, just to keep out here, yeah. You're told that sputterjacks patrol the area and entrance and could be difficult getting in. It's like a five story or larger. It's super tall, it's like looking at a tower and then there's a massive water wheel. It's a big old lumber mill and like a factory it looks like as well. So how do you want to approach this?
Speaker 2:I'm wondering if we can't disguise ourselves. Are sputterjacks? How do they see their prey? They're like enemies. They have robot eyes or something Riley might know. Maybe we can either blind them with a flash of light or disorient them, reprogram them, disguise ourselves as them. I've got some ideas, but I need a.
Speaker 1:I need a tinkerer um I was going to uh use eye for clues, just if we could enter from like, not the front, but like use like a fire escape yeah, maybe we can like even survey everything on the ground floor. You know? Um, which I will do. I'm going to use that because we're like, hey, there's a fire escape. Maybe we should sneak in from the top see what's going on it's a top down proposition plus uh, my search is plus two, that's a 12, y'all, this guy's head is like a shark fin.
Speaker 1:Okay, just call me Street Shark. There's a fire skate. It doesn't go all the way to the very tippy top.
Speaker 2:It's not up to code.
Speaker 1:Because this thing is really tall, like five stories. That didn't give it justice.
Speaker 2:It's 40 stories. The story in Land of Eam is actually yeah, like stories.
Speaker 1:Let's just throw stories out the window here. This is just like a huge tower. It's five fathoms deep, but you can climb up to a higher level.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:Okay, let's do it. We can at least see what's on the ground floor.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we keep climbing this interminable ladder and then we realize we've gone only one floor, but the air is already starting to get thin. That's how tall it is. You say the air is getting thin? Yes, we put on oxygen masks. Yeah, other frozen adventures? Yeah, yeah, exactly that's the thing it's like scaling everest you know, oh, oh, man Heroin, all right.
Speaker 1:So you climb up this fire, escape, clink, clink, clink, clink, and you get to a little hatch, but it's locked.
Speaker 2:Oh. I can cut it off with the axe, or do you want to try tinkering the lock first?
Speaker 1:I will try to Do. You have lockpicks? I do not have lockpicks. I did at one point, but I do not anymore. I have a hatchet.
Speaker 2:Can we convert a hatchet into a lockpick?
Speaker 1:I'm just going to say you'll have a minus two check yeah.
Speaker 2:Did I get anything? No, I mean, I have a hook, and string which is basically a lock pick.
Speaker 1:It's plus one minus two Tinker's like my best thing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, do you roll with advantage for mechanical devices or anything like that?
Speaker 1:I do. I roll with woodcraft repair mechanics.
Speaker 2:It's not really yeah.
Speaker 1:It doesn not really yeah. It doesn't apply to this Rude Seven. All right, okay.
Speaker 2:All right.
Speaker 1:You open the door, but you make a lot of noise.
Speaker 2:It's pretty standard drawback yeah.
Speaker 1:Wait, what do you want me to do?
Speaker 2:No, no, no.
Speaker 1:It makes sense. Make it easy for us GM. I thought you were critiquing my imagination or something. I thought that was a direct attack.
Speaker 2:It was a bit of an attack I could do no better. I could think of nothing else.
Speaker 1:I'm so in discord, massive discordia. So you make a bunch of noise and you, in turn, hear some noise and what you see in front of you is like a catwalk and a bunch of causeways that web out in front of you.
Speaker 2:I immediately do my model walk down the catwalk. I was just going to say that. Do your little dance. I should make a little love. Get down tonight. Causeway is the insides, the innards, of a giant factory.
Speaker 1:Yes, and below you you hear clinking sounds and robotic voices.
Speaker 2:Oh, they actually talk to each other.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:What does it sound like? Ben, he can't do it on command.
Speaker 1:No one can.
Speaker 2:Not while you're watching Above us. Go, go, go, go, go, go, go go. He can't do it on command, no one can Not while you're watching Above us Go, go, go go, go, go, go go. There was someone up there, oh man. So can we spy how they would get up to us? Is there like a different? Is there like a ramp or something?
Speaker 1:they're coming up or is it obvious? Make a perception check.
Speaker 2:I perceive that's an eight.
Speaker 1:Take it, I'll take it.
Speaker 2:I'm saving my quest points.
Speaker 1:You see that they're coming up towards what is the traditional entrance there's like a staircase. You see that they're coming up towards what is the traditional entrance there's like a staircase, but, like in order to see that you had to like, peek over and now they've got it.
Speaker 2:It's a frog.
Speaker 1:But you know, it's conceivable that you could lose them up here. Yeah, maybe we should beat feet and just start moving. Yeah, that's conceivable that you could lose them up here.
Speaker 2:Yeah, maybe we should beat feet and just start moving.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's what I was going to suggest Run along the causeways and see if we can't lose them.
Speaker 2:Kind of like leap from one causeway to the next. Perhaps We'll see We'll start to make our move away, ben, okay, our move away Ben Okay. We make haste, we show them the meaning of haste.
Speaker 1:I want one of you to make a search check and the other to make an athletics check.
Speaker 2:I pick up Riley and I start athleting. I make a nine. That's the athletics check. To be clear, I will search which way. Which way, Riley? I don't know.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So you guys, you've just run kind of futilely across these causeways F-E-U-D-A-L-L-Y, and it's sort of like a comical chase at this point. Like you're running over here and they're going this way. Yeah, it's 100% what I was thinking. So you've like stayed ahead of them, but you've gotten nowhere.
Speaker 2:Okay, yeah.
Speaker 1:So I'll just describe what you guys see Below you. It looks like it's this factory floor, amazing, like these giant drums line the wall and they look all empty, except for one of them. There's like a large tube connected to it. One of them, there's a large tube connected to it. There's tons of bundles and bundles of cables that sprawl out all over the floor Above you. The thing about the causeways is that the middle of the room, like of this facility, there's like a huge pulley system in the middle, so you're like running all around it and stuff Okay, and the ceiling above you is like dark, but you can tell that it just goes on for like a hundred feet the series of pulleys.
Speaker 2:Do you think that? Do they seem as if, if we leapt onto it, chop one of the ropes, we'd get launched up into the upper floors?
Speaker 1:these are like really thick braided coils, whatever you call them yeah bug doesn't like it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, bug doesn't like your your gming right now. Man, he's like not giving us that wounded ben. I wounded him so much, um. So, james, what do you think? We have the pulleys. We're kind of chasing them around. It Can either maybe chop through the grating and they fall.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I was thinking like maybe, if we could like leap onto that thing and get them to follow us onto it, you could use the lightsaber axe to cut one of the cables If it's a steel cable.
Speaker 2:I could you know what I mean? I can cut through any metal quite easily, but if it's rope, I could use a feat of strength perhaps, but there's a lower chance of it, George.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm going to say that, you, george yeah. I'm going to say that you, you also notice that there's like a, a, like a observation box, sort of like beyond where the um one galopes, where the one galopes are, beyond where the onegalopes are, beyond where the sputterjacks are You'd have to go towards them to get to it.
Speaker 2:Okay, go on.
Speaker 1:Momentarily you see a shadow in the window and then it disappears, as we're running in circles around. Shadow in the window and then it disappears.
Speaker 2:I, as we're running in circles around this area, I yell to Riley I say Riley, I think I saw. Gretch there was a. There was an observation box back there, I think he's watching us.
Speaker 1:We should head over there.
Speaker 2:Riley, in typical fashion, just begins to barrel straight through the spider jacks.
Speaker 1:I was going to like, I was going to try to just like make a mad dash and run through them or around them some way. I respect it.
Speaker 2:Let's see if that's, I feel like it's a very Riley thing to do. It's on brand, as it were, running headlong into danger for XP.
Speaker 1:So, um, I was going to use Jack of all trades and uh say that I was a expert. Uh, pole vaulter in high school.
Speaker 2:I feel like you've used this before and that's the have.
Speaker 1:I done that Like like, not in a bad way, it makes sense you're definitely pole vaulted it's the thing that makes me feel amazing, like the idea of being like whoa tremors. You know what I mean. Yes, I always think of tremors and use my halberd to pole vault over the. At least attempt it. But I rolled over what. The sputter jacks.
Speaker 2:Riley gets vertical and then stops somehow perfectly Just all around him.
Speaker 1:Only if I roll a one. I gotta do better than that. Athletics, I assume, yeah, seven.
Speaker 2:Are these things goons Ben?
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay, so okay, seven. That means it's a success with a twist. I think you do pole vault over them, but you almost go tumbling over the catwalk.
Speaker 2:Oh.
Speaker 1:So you've actually like leapfrogged over them and are like on another catwalk paying for your life. Riley Galen, I overdid it.
Speaker 2:It's the scene from Cliffhanger where Sylvester Stallone is just hanging there.
Speaker 1:So imagine you're hanging from a catwalk here and then they're on a parallel one A parallel catwalk, yeah Ten feet away from you and they're getting over to the edge. You see one of them. People are moving right now.
Speaker 2:No, worries, sputterjacks are moving. Yeah, that's fine.
Speaker 1:Yeah, bug is playing the Sputterjacks.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the Sputterjacks went in guard mode. Actually bark, bark like a dog. That's how they're programmed, that's their program yeah, junkyard dog mode, junkyard dog.
Speaker 1:So um, yeah, they're trying to attack you is is riley.
Speaker 2:Do they have ranged weapons?
Speaker 1:first of all, um, they have saws, um, they have saws buzz saws like robot buzz saws.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's horrifying um can I commanding presence them ben um, they got a machine you know what I mean like you'll have disadvantage on their machine brains. Okay, I think it's worth it. Who knows? Oh baby, either one is above 12. That's a 13.
Speaker 1:So that's the one where you don't have to say anything.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but I feel like in this instance it might be almost better if I said something. Does that make sense? Sorry, you were muted, I think.
Speaker 1:Sorry, dealing with a crazy dog over here, the doggo Bug crazy, crazy dog. Oh, a background bug is my favorite. Someone's just repeatedly walking by the apartment.
Speaker 2:It makes me want to bark all outside creatures.
Speaker 1:If that person were to step inside, she'd probably be cool with it Immediately love them.
Speaker 2:She's like just give me attention. But yeah, I was saying I think it might be best if I do say something like I kind of wanted to say uh, again my best foreman barkon impression get back to work.
Speaker 1:You should be patrolling the lower yeah they sort of whip around to you and say, oh, orders, and they like whiz off, whiz off, like gizmo yeah, dango launchpad, but quite going to Galen little help.
Speaker 2:I like walk over and like shake my head. I extend the hill to the axe out and help Riley back onto the catwalk.
Speaker 1:I'm going to scramble like over his shoulders, like a rat. Yeah, Jump on the causeway. I love it. I see, as you're helping her up you hear whispering voices. You'd have to make a perception check to see what. But you hear them say the Spider-Jacks defied the. Liberator.
Speaker 2:The Liberator. I do not hear what they say or where they come from. You just don't see them.
Speaker 1:I just don't see them. Okay, I don't see them either.
Speaker 2:Liberator Riley, why are you whispering about Liberators and Spudderjacks?
Speaker 1:I didn't say that. I thought you said it. No, I didn't say that. We're not alone in here, Galen.
Speaker 2:I wonder if it was. I wonder if Gretch is the Liberator they're talking about or if it's someone else Maybe Interesting. I'd say it looks like we have to be double on our guard. Maybe we should keep heading up. We were going to head to the observation. Yeah. I'm going to the observation we dust ourselves off and then head to the observation box alright, it looks like fortified, like it's been shut. Sealed shut.
Speaker 1:Sealed shut and like wood is barring the other side, it's been like covered.
Speaker 2:Feed us drink, baby. I just immediately headbutt it with all my power. I am concussed.
Speaker 1:I'm going to catch him, do a trust fall with him. That didn't work at all, man. Galen, you take two dreads and you go out cold for a few seconds. I'm going to splash water on his face and be like Galen. What the heck was that?
Speaker 2:Did you see him? Who hit me? Who hit?
Speaker 1:me. Oh, that's the funniest.
Speaker 2:I love it. See what we're not getting through there. Riley, just like, jiggles the door handle and it opens.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm going to actually knock on it and be like is anybody in there? There's no answer? All right, Um, I have a hatchet. Should I just like start chopping through the wood? I?
Speaker 2:mean like it might draw more attention.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I know, um see, there's a window, so like there's a door, and then there's also a window that overlooks everything from the window to the wall um, but it doesn't look like you just break. It's not an easily breakable window. Can I position myself to get a good look through the window, like real close to it? Look around the room.
Speaker 2:It is dark inside just get out your flashlight. This is that kind of technology level right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't have a flashlight, unfortunately.
Speaker 2:Oh no, no, I hand you the jar of fireflies. Oh yeah, to just shake and see if you can shine it through the glass. Yes, I completely forgot about that.
Speaker 1:I'll hold up the jar of fireflies and see if I can't get a good view of what's in the room. Make a search or perception check.
Speaker 2:With advantage no Eight Ooh.
Speaker 1:You catch a glimpse of a shadow. It looks like a goblin or a boggart Interesting. You shine light on them and they hide behind a desk and they hiss. I'm going to tap on the glass and wave like hey, come here After a while. He's like Go away, you're gonna get me killed. We're here to solve all this business. You're dead. You're a walking corpse. This thing will eat you up.
Speaker 2:Wait what. What thing, yeah, fucking corpse.
Speaker 1:This thing will eat you up. Wait what, what?
Speaker 2:thing, the Gretcho Maticus.
Speaker 1:It's alive. The Gretcho Maticus is alive. How did that happen? Who are you? I'm Gretch, oh we found Gretch.
Speaker 2:Oh, we found.
Speaker 1:Gretch.
Speaker 2:Riley, ask about the Liberator.
Speaker 1:Who's the Liberator? Is that you? No, it's not me, it's the machine. What I don't know, I've been hiding up here for days, weeks. What year is it 1987. Well, we know a way out Like we snuck in through the fire escape that we can take him here and then what? And then you can get out of this thing.
Speaker 2:We'll go hunting you can plan or something, yeah how am I supposed to trust you? I sneak a ration out of the door well, for one, we're not sputterjacks.
Speaker 1:Where are they anyway? Galen was able to. My pal Galen here. I've met him, I'm rolling by the way, introductions. Okay, he was able to give them an order and they followed it. They'll be back before long, okay. Well then we better get out of here so that we can go investigate what's going on. How can the machine just come to life? I don't know. I don't know. It's angry, hmm, hmm. Why is it angry? Any ideas? Look, once it started eating people, I ran here. I mean, this whole place is locked down. Do you have any idea how to shut it off? I mean the engine room. But that's not it. It's alive. It's got a mind of its own. Well, without an engine, if it doesn't have a mind, if it has a mind, it's it is the engine.
Speaker 1:Maybe it's lonely. It's hungry. I think it's just been eating all my workers, one by one every day. Oh my gosh, how do we get to the engine room from here? We're going to check it out. You got to take the causeways.
Speaker 2:Causeway Kramer.
Speaker 1:You can only get to it by going up and then down. Up and then down.
Speaker 2:It would be easier if you showed us the way.
Speaker 1:Oh, would it, I survived this long. Okay, I consider that a feat. Alright, well, we can get you out of here right now, or you can stay behind and we'll come back after we, hopefully, solve this issue.
Speaker 2:I'm so tempted to use Like a creative ability. Wait, james, do you think it would be worth him coming with us? Like getting him to come with us.
Speaker 1:I don't know. I mean like if we bust up the engine, like we may be able to stop it.
Speaker 2:But, like, would it be helpful mechanically if he were with us to like guide us somewhat. Probably, ben, i'm'm gonna try it. Um, I'm gonna kind of like, in front of the window, drink a little bit of the rascal cider and I'm gonna use discerning eye to create a weakness or vulnerability in him for narrative purposes and say, uh that you know many, he sees the r cider, he realizes how much he's been craving some rascal cider and that might give him enough courage to get out of his box.
Speaker 1:So I'm going to give you a minus to this.
Speaker 2:I'm going to give you a minus to this. No, that's fine yeah.
Speaker 1:He's seen some things.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he's seen.
Speaker 1:He's like that little girl that's holed up in Aliens.
Speaker 2:Wow, yeah, newt, yeah, yeah things, and he's, yeah, he's like, he's like that little girl that's holed up in aliens.
Speaker 1:Wow yeah, newt, yeah, so let's say it's a minus three yeah, okay, cool, I like it.
Speaker 2:I think it's worth, uh worth, a shot.
Speaker 1:That's a four um, I'm gonna do lend a hand and be like no, no, it is boy, this rascal cider is delicious and do the roll.
Speaker 2:For him it just feels like us making a bunch of sounds I don't do it either we consume a barrel of rascal cider.
Speaker 1:What was I rolling for?
Speaker 2:sorry uh, it was gonna be perception, yeah, perception, so I'm plus one. Oh, so we're both plus one.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah, well, uh, that would put it at six no yeah, yeah, actually I'll use a quest point no, no, well, you're plus one, oh, minus three.
Speaker 2:Shoot, sorry, yeah, yeah, yeah, we could use quest point. Yeah, we could use a quest point. I'm going to total six After like 30 minutes of drinking Rascal Cider and being like mmm, so good, mmm, oh, still bubbly. It really worked on him.
Speaker 1:May I have some salted meat, galen? Oh, I love salted meat Most delicious, yummy, yummy. Help me break down this door. We do it. So that's a success with a twist, and I think the twist is that he's really skittish and it's unlikely that he'll stay with you this entire time. Given really skittish, it's unlikely that he'll stay with you this entire time, given what's happening. I get it, unless you're really good about protecting him Like he will bolt.
Speaker 2:Usain Bolt. I wish I had my tortoise with us, because then he could just ride the tortoise, but she doesn't fit up here so well she got a zozo bird ah zozo birds are just as skittish crazy zozo birds. You know what I mean is there anything of worth or value where he was held up, in the sense of like things that might be useful. Can we do a quick search check, like keys or schematics?
Speaker 1:or searching through my stuff.
Speaker 2:He bolts.
Speaker 1:He's going through his underwear drawer or whatever's around.
Speaker 2:I'm like look, look, we need any advantage we can get like keys maps.
Speaker 1:I mean what you, you bolt on us there's like a huge binder that's pretty heavy he says it's like the schematics for the gretromaticus. Can I use mechanics to review it and see if I can identify like core oh yeah, yeah, core pieces of tech that if they cease to function, the Gretromaticus is in trouble. Sure, you can make a mechanics check.
Speaker 2:Machinichu.
Speaker 1:Sink, ayo Eight, I don't know what to add to it. Tinker Taylor's Holder's Note yeah, so that's an 11. Snap son. So you get a pretty good idea of what this place looks like. Idea of what this place looks like it's basically you've got level one is factory room, factory floor. You've got the causeways that lead to the sawmill, the warehouse, the grinder, the sawmill, the warehouse, the grinder and the engine room.
Speaker 2:That's all level one?
Speaker 1:No, those are various levels.
Speaker 2:Oh, shoot, okay. So level one is the factory floor and then Okay that's fine.
Speaker 1:Yeah, sorry, no, no, I get it. It would be the causeways, and then that leads to everything else.
Speaker 2:Okay, and we are on the causeways at the observation room and we need to go up to get down.
Speaker 1:Gotta get up to get down, get up, get up to get down. I'm sorry, sorry, I'm so sorry. 25 years.
Speaker 2:Ingrained into our souls.
Speaker 1:So, in terms of like you know it's you were looking for, like a weakness or something, yeah, yeah, we. I like the engine room is like what I got my sights on. But yeah, there's something called the mega engine, which is like a 20 foot high uh engine with like a ton of hoses and cables connected to it. Um, according to my calculations, we've got to get to the mega engine going wow, what?
Speaker 2:okay, I mean, lead the way I. I can probably kill it with an axe, right?
Speaker 1:I don't know I do, I do know. Nothing will survive, just constant. Yeah, Dredge says you know the problem is. You know, yeah, you could take out the engine if it were running on power. I don't know that it is. Is it running on people now? I don't know. I don't know what's going on.
Speaker 2:If it's a combo, or what?
Speaker 1:But I can tell you, I tell you, it's crazy. Maybe we should just examine each area and see what's different from the schematics, and maybe we can identify how it's supposed to operate versus how it's operating now yeah, it's a real one of these things is not like the other situation.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, uh, yeah, so maybe we we can start on the, can I?
Speaker 1:can I take? The binder with me can I like hold on to the binder like it's like our guide, it's our child. Yeah, it's quite heavy. It'll take up three inventories.
Speaker 2:Okay, I say, oh, just put it in the back of your donk, just like everything's downstairs. Or is your donkey forge up here, which would be awesome?
Speaker 1:It's outside. It's outside Zozo bird forge. You know what?
Speaker 2:I mean yeah.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:All right, so let's take the causeways to the sawmill. Yeah, I say okay, all right, gretch, which way to the sawmill let's go? Or should we go straight to the engine room and just avoid everything else? Sorry?
Speaker 1:you can't go directly to the engine room. You have to get up to go down. Got to get up to get down, got it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we're heading to the sawmill, then let's do it. We're rolling down the road.
Speaker 1:Okay, make a sneak check One of you.
Speaker 2:Oh boy, Would you mind doing it? I have plus two, but isn't it whoever has the lowest. Oh, is that the ruling? I will make it.
Speaker 1:Actually we both roll, yeah, seven Eleven, so my roll. For once Galen is being quiet. Yeah, galen, you are being uber quiet, kind of leading the way, riley, you are too, except Gretch gets caught and he's kind of looking around at his place like what the hell happened here, and he gets spotted by some spudgerjacks Uh-oh, move. So as you guys are going across this causeway, you're kind of like in the shadows and he's out in the open light and they start calling out orders and mobilizing.
Speaker 2:Gretch, won't they listen to you?
Speaker 1:No, they, they've been reprogrammed to something.
Speaker 2:Can I?
Speaker 1:let's see, I don't have a power exactly that helps me. I could use I for clues again. I'm I could use eye for clues again. I'm going to use eye for clues again and point to a bunch of like, um, like manageably sized, like tubes and buckets and stuff, and be like um, everybody pretend to be a sputterjack and like hold up my saw and hand an axe to whatever, to Gretch.
Speaker 2:I inspire you real quick.
Speaker 1:So I mean they've spotted Gretch.
Speaker 2:Aw.
Speaker 1:But you guys could do this.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so I inspire you so you get a plus two to your check. I mean, we could apprehend him as that's exactly.
Speaker 1:That's brilliant. We'll take him too, liberator or whatever. Yeah, yeah yeah, that's exactly what I All hail, liberator Prime. I saw an episode of Futurama like this.
Speaker 2:But you get a plus at least two for me.
Speaker 1:So it's six total. Okay, what do you think that means? Success with a twist.
Speaker 2:What a twist.
Speaker 1:The twist is they will follow us there yeah like they'll fall in line behind us so we can't like deviate from the plan. Okay, so what do you say when they approach? So I'll say like uh, greetings butterjack, uh, brethren. So what do you say when they approach? So I'll say like Greetings Butterjack.
Speaker 2:Brethren, Greetings brethren.
Speaker 1:We have captured the Gretch. We're taking them to Liberator Prime 1-1-0-0-1-1-1-0-0-1. 1-1-0-0-1-1-1-1.
Speaker 2:Actually a non-binary system they use.
Speaker 1:I'm going to really exaggerated move like this. The Liberator will be pleased.
Speaker 2:Yes, all hail the Liberator.
Speaker 1:All hail the Liberator. All hail the Liberator.
Speaker 2:All hail the Liberator 1-0-1-1-0-1-1. Why do you keep saying 1-1-0-1-1?
Speaker 1:They all raise their buzz saws and spin them. I'll do this in the air with my saw.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I spin my axe really fast.
Speaker 1:Okay Now, George, we just have to make this ruse continue.
Speaker 2:Into the heart of the beast master.
Speaker 1:The beast. Okay, so you, along with this cadre of sputter jacks, enter the sawmill, which, inside, it's like a practical forest. This is like where the lumber is. This is where your lumber would be, but it's mostly unprocessed, just trees lying there in like a ton of conveyor belts, and there are like a number of saws giant mechanical saws that are not working okay, they would be operated by lumberjacks, right, like that's the kind of the idea yeah, this is like a a giant sawmill with multiple saws.
Speaker 2:Saws.
Speaker 1:Saws like saw one, saw two, saw three, saw four.
Speaker 2:Like the movies. That what you getting at. I am Okay cool.
Speaker 1:And then there's also a massive water wheel in this room.
Speaker 2:And that's turning.
Speaker 1:I imagine it is turning.
Speaker 2:I lean into Riley I say I wonder if we stop the water wheel maybe it would cut power to the liberator.
Speaker 1:001011011 how do you suppose we're going to do that while we're, you know, hanging out with these bozos?
Speaker 2:Uh, something to keep in mind, I wish you brought dynamite Me too, solves everything. Um, okay, well, that's something to keep in mind, at least, as we're kind of patrolling by the sawmill. Anything else we noticed Any kind of it's going to of gory but like dead lumberjacks or anything like that.
Speaker 1:You don't see any of that.
Speaker 2:Okay, scooter.
Speaker 1:So we're going to lose these projects?
Speaker 2:Galen, make a trickery check, trickery check trickery check minus one, that's still a ten. Nice look at this.
Speaker 1:I've never felt more natural in my life than when I was impersonating a robot and no one even questions or notices that you're not like them so the helmet really helps seal the deal it's like cables and buckets on us. Yeah, it's, it's absurd. You pass through the sawmill um nice to the warehouse and here you're still walking on causeways.
Speaker 2:I'm walking on causeways, whoa.
Speaker 1:It don't feel good. Here's where you see lumberjacks and workers and they're prisoners and they're tied up. They're like.
Speaker 2:I'm still alive.
Speaker 1:Some of them. You know that this place, like must take legions of people to operate, and dwindled down to like a handful of people and they're being guarded by sputter jacks. And you also see another creature, another type of creature like, running around and like gathering, like bits and pieces and throwing them bits and like all this random stuff. They look like gremlins. What, oh, what, uh-oh.
Speaker 2:What? Okay, so there's an entire other force at work. It's not just going to be one thing. These little gremlin dudes are causing some terrible.
Speaker 1:It's terrible, it's terrible. The prisoners look up at you with like horrified eyes.
Speaker 2:We are pretty intimidating, it's true.
Speaker 1:Both of you make a metal check to resist giving up.
Speaker 2:Wow, I am metallic, I am metallic.
Speaker 1:I am not Actually, I could use it. I could get it to six.
Speaker 2:Okay, nice.
Speaker 1:I'm blowing up my quest points this course.
Speaker 2:I've never.
Speaker 1:Only thinking of me in the game.
Speaker 2:I've never felt more natural than when I was part of this group of robots Spider-Jacks All right, James.
Speaker 1:You're able to resist, like stopping in your tracks and like jumping in to help them. But what are you feeling inside? Jumping in to help them, uh, but what are you feeling inside? Um, I'm trying to like play it cool. I'm gonna say that I'm feeling a little bit like maybe. So I'm trying not to like rush into danger, like trying to figure out how I, how I get around my impulse, which is like, actually, this is what I'm going to do. I'm going to do something.
Speaker 1:I'm going to come to one of the cages and be like no prisoner Gretch, and start to open the cage to put Gretch inside. So you're pretty far from them. You're above looking down at them as you walk through this area Because we're on the causeways. I get it. I am going to Cowboys' base. Are they all in individual cages? What is it structured like? Is there a way to? They're not in cages.
Speaker 2:They're just being guarded by sputterjacks and stuff.
Speaker 1:Bound and guarded. Bound and guarded by sputterjacks, and that's the only thing in this room and gremlins Can I do this room room it's like a storage bay filled with crates and cogs, tools, boxes, drums of oil, just like huge cables and tubes. Um, what do we do? We know anything about gremlins. Can I do a lore check to like?
Speaker 2:oh, do you want to make something up? We can use the bearskin of uh trivia oh man.
Speaker 1:So I want to.
Speaker 2:I want to know the drill on like what gremlins are you don't feed them after midnight and you don't get them wet that's true.
Speaker 1:Oh, they won't suffer a skittle after midnight. One other detail um, as you guys walk in, it's likely that one of them notices that you guys aren't sputterjacks. The light goes off. They're immediately prodded with this electro stick that zaps them. The gremlins are prodded by the sputterjacks. No, no, no.
Speaker 2:No, no, no, he's saying the lumberjacks.
Speaker 1:Oh, oh, got it.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:The gremlins are like roaming free.
Speaker 2:Do we see them like what's it called grabbing weird little mechanical items, like squirreling them away?
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah. Some of them are eating them.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah Makes sense.
Speaker 1:But others are going about a job of gathering stuff and then running off.
Speaker 2:Do the Spudderjacks seem to be just ignoring the Gremlins, or are they more? Is there any kind of hierarchical relationship between the two?
Speaker 1:they seem to be ignoring them. So how do we get the gremlins to eat the spider jacks?
Speaker 2:how do we make that happen? Uh, god, that's true, that's a good point. Um, we could okay, we could make bearskin and trivia roll d12 plus war, create a fact about a creature, critter, which these gremlins are. Uh, maybe, like once they get a taste for sputter jack, or once they get a taste for something, their appetites are insatiable like maybe more, the more complex the junk, the more delicious it is.
Speaker 2:And sputter stuff is like the most complex the junk the more delicious it is, and sputter stuff is the most complex. Yeah, anyway, do you want to try it, ben? Does that seem feasible?
Speaker 1:Sure.
Speaker 2:Sure, he thinks the roll's not going to work. That's why he's saying sure.
Speaker 1:Good news.
Speaker 2:I say uh, riley that might not be true.
Speaker 1:All right, it's worth a worth a shot.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:That's not true, but, galen, you kind of realize, plus of this situation Is that like it's really weird that the Gremlins aren't just trying to devour these things.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's true, there has to be some sort of pecking order, as it were.
Speaker 1:Okay, Riley is broken inside from seeing these people trapped because it reminds her of all the people at the Sarpathi temple and her own hometown. This has taken all of her strength to not give in to her flaw and run headlong into danger because she knows it would be silly and stupid at this point.
Speaker 2:But think of the XP, think of the XP.
Speaker 1:Yeah, In that span of time you guys are walking.
Speaker 2:We continue to walk, yeah.
Speaker 1:And you're about to leave this room. Okay, goodbye, lumberjacks. We've got to find out who the Liberator is with Gretch anyway. To the greater right here To enter. It can only be the grinder, which is a massive metal mouth of spike and crooked blades. It's one massive conveyor belt as opposed to several different ones connected to saws. This one's just like a giant mulching thing. I love it. The sputterjacks with you are like we have come to the liberator.
Speaker 2:Liberator.
Speaker 1:It's time to meet the liberator, gretch. You must pay, he must pay, he must pay.
Speaker 2:I lean into Gretch. Don't worry, we got you.
Speaker 1:We got your back. I wink as I'm saying he must pay. You talk crazy. Look, you gotta help me. He grabs you Both. Be cool, be cool. You talk crazy. Look, you gotta help me. He grabs you Both. Be cool, be cool. There's no way around it. He's just like flailing because they're putting him towards this conveyor belt and the thing like shudders to life.
Speaker 2:Okay, so this is interesting. I'm going to do a perception check man. I want to see if there's anything that looks like it might be at the control of the liberator, like gremlins or like something yeah, I was just.
Speaker 1:I was just about to see, like, how was like, I wanted to like look at the schematics and be like how is this possible? How can it operate without power, and blah, blah, blah, blah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's six.
Speaker 1:To peer into the darkness and pierce the veil Like. Galadriel suddenly Peer into the darkness. You do notice that there are some controls beyond the conveyor belt, like closer to the mouth, your mouth, um, but you can't tell exactly what's going on here.
Speaker 2:I think. Uh, what I can tell is that this is a time to use my flaw and destroy something indiscriminately. You think I can make it to the controls in time, Ben, Just to like bust loose and just bam, chop through them.
Speaker 1:I think I could say this is the start of a conflict, so I'm going to do some conflict.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:I'm going to pretend like I'm malfunctioning, to create a scene.
Speaker 2:Start squirting oil all over the place.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I meant to say that grasping at both of you and you're both like.
Speaker 2:Yeah, helmets have come off. Yeah, the jig is up. The jig of what?
Speaker 1:I'm going to say, um, I'm just going to like go into full like malfunction, like malfunction, malfunction and like start leaking like rascal cider and like it's like dumping stuff from my body. Malfunction, malfunction. The liberator has forsaken me, yeah.
Speaker 2:They immediately descend on you With their saws. You must be repurposed for parts.
Speaker 1:George Is making it worse than it is. We must have the organs for ourselves.
Speaker 2:The gremlins all appear out of nowhere.
Speaker 1:So I think, given that you're clearly an organic creature, I would say at disadvantage trickery. The benefit would be like they would ignore you.
Speaker 2:I will inspire you my last inspirational. I inspire you. You get a plus two to an allies check this is happening in a conflict you get a plus one to all roles before or during one phase of a conflict. So you get a plus one alright, so my total is eight with a quest point with a quest point it's nine.
Speaker 1:Quest point it's 9.
Speaker 2:Is it worth it?
Speaker 1:I don't know. I don't know if it's worth it. What is your plan here, actually? You know what? Yes, I wanted to make a gigantic scene so that George could go smash the controls.
Speaker 2:George smash.
Speaker 1:I will use a quest point. I'm down, I've used four quest points in like ten minutes.
Speaker 2:Sorry, my name is Dalen actually.
Speaker 1:It doesn't respond. Nine, nine total, I love it Uh nine.
Speaker 2:Nine total. I love it, uh Scene caused.
Speaker 1:Alright. What are you doing, George?
Speaker 2:I am spending this round charging the controls to destroy them indiscriminately.
Speaker 1:Alright, James roll a d4 plus one.
Speaker 2:Like a d4, like a d4. Four Nice, alright.
Speaker 1:Four of the superguards gather around you and look at you like confusedly, leaving two others to go with two. You know who would be focused on, both Gretch and Caitlin.
Speaker 2:Poor Gretch. He tried, but he's worm-faced.
Speaker 1:After all that survive, I knew I shouldn't have come out of my observation room All right. So what are you doing you?
Speaker 2:will have to run over there. Yeah, let's roll initiative and see what we get in terms of order.
Speaker 1:Well, you're not doing combat, so you go.
Speaker 2:Oh okay, I thought we were still going to start a conflict in spite of Riley's thing.
Speaker 1:Well, what I'm going to say is your action is a non-combat action.
Speaker 2:Well, it would be to move over. And then you see my axe start glowing red and to try to chop through the controls.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so that's your action.
Speaker 2:That's my action.
Speaker 1:Action before combat, so they would just be able to attack you.
Speaker 2:I accept. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Let them combat.
Speaker 1:Alright, so you run over there, they follow you.
Speaker 2:Draw the two away from Gretch.
Speaker 1:Just roll an attack roll, I guess.
Speaker 2:Okay, bernard, guide my hand, all right, yeah, yeah, 10, 10 is good, thank you bernard guide.
Speaker 1:My hand is my favorite I want that t-shirt let me ask you? Are you using the magical slice, slice and dice?
Speaker 2:I am. Yeah, that was kind of my goal, so that we can hopefully put an end to it. Of course, it's not going to do anything because it's now an animated machine, but I don't know that yet.
Speaker 1:Well, there's a bunch of sparks that blow up in your face and um, the grinder starts to chug and shut down. Yes, um, it looks like it's fighting against it wow, that's kind of terrifying and um. Then you were attacked.
Speaker 2:Yep, okay, oh snap.
Speaker 1:Goes right into the grinder. Oh no, that's horrible. Yeah, it goes into the grinder, which is like really it's moving really slow, so it's like a slow death yeah. Zero, zero zero, zero, zero, zero, zero, zero. I wanted that to happen so bad. I wanted a sputter jack to go into the grinder. So bad. Galen is so surprised. I wanted a sputter jack to go into the grinder so bad.
Speaker 2:Galen is so surprised I am eating the maker. Hooray, hooray, hooray.
Speaker 1:It's like Futurama.
Speaker 2:Hooray.
Speaker 1:Hooray.
Speaker 2:Then the bonus is that Galen is so distracted by the horror of the grinder eating the spudder guard that the other one is able to get maybe a plus one bonus to the attack or something.
Speaker 1:The other one is holding on to Grinch.
Speaker 2:Rude Alright.
Speaker 1:And is actually pushing him towards the grinder. Oh boy.
Speaker 2:I will have to stop that. Well, you're, yeah, yeah, you're Jurg, jurg.
Speaker 1:Jurg oh McGurg, oh McGurg.
Speaker 2:I love it. Should we? Is it next?
Speaker 1:round Ben yeah next round.
Speaker 2:Okay, I roll initiative and I am gonna nine, perfect, ten, 13. Yes, ben I, I. I duel the sputter guard holding on to Gretch, so he has to let Gretch go and only attack me. Is that reasonable? It's kind of crappy because it's a robot, right, it doesn't have a sense of needing to duel me. But I leave it in your hands. I'm fine either way.
Speaker 1:What does the ability say?
Speaker 2:Ah yes, once per combat designate an adversary. You and that adversary can only attack each other for 1d4 plus 1 rounds.
Speaker 1:So I mean, I feel like you could have a duel and it's like holding Gretch.
Speaker 2:Oh okay, all right. Yeah, I mean maybe like it'll just how about this, like he won't be trying to throw Gretch into the yeah yeah, he'll just be fighting. Okay, I'm fine. Yeah, I'm happy with that. That's all I care about is him not getting thrown in yet.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm happy with that. That's all I care about is him not getting thrown in yet. Yeah, I just don't want that to be a thing later where you just use that and it has to drop everything, alright, here we go, hold on.
Speaker 2:So for three rounds he won't throw Gretchen to the grinder, the chugging grinder, alright, alright, cool the grandeur Riley, do you want to act first before I engage in combat with this guy?
Speaker 1:That is a good question, Riley. You are currently surrounded by four sputterjacks.
Speaker 2:Pulled out thermal debt.
Speaker 1:Yet they, yet they, I don't know. No, I do not have a specific action.
Speaker 2:Okay, Hopefully I'll continue to roll well against this guy. That's not bad, that's a 13. Nice, that's a criticalist, creaticalist, creaticalist hits. Where is it I'm Creatically hit? Wow, sorry, I need one Marshall Prowess. There we go. I just wanted to make sure that I still had that ability Increase my Dread Duster to D12. Maybe I didn't take that. I think it's still a D10. I'm so sorry I haven't updated. This is the trouble with trying to update digital character sheets.
Speaker 1:So you didn't take the D12 damage.
Speaker 2:Discerning Eye, faithful Steed. It must have been Faithful Steed or discerning eye. Ah shucks, Okay, sorry. I was wondering why there was a discrepancy. I was wondering why I kept forgetting to use it, even though it was on the other character sheet. I'll edit and update my thing in Photoshop later.
Speaker 1:So what you've been saying is you've been cheating for, like I don't know, six months.
Speaker 2:I've only used it three times. I only remembered in the old Goths fight. Actually. I'm sorry Ben, sorry D10. I'm sorry, ben, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I can't make these. These sputterjacks are immune to bleed, correct? Or can they be bleeding oil or something?
Speaker 1:I'm fine with that, but you're going to slay this in one hit.
Speaker 2:I need it to also bleed then, just for my satisfaction.
Speaker 1:There's like a spray of oil, wow.
Speaker 2:Like Samurai Jack.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's perfect. It's like oil jugular vein.
Speaker 2:I carved through it narrowly missing, hitting Gretch the arm holding Gretch.
Speaker 1:Gretch is just covered in hot oil.
Speaker 2:Hot Hot.
Speaker 1:It's the worst thing anyone's ever seen. He's like Darkman now.
Speaker 2:Ah, my face, oh my.
Speaker 1:God.
Speaker 2:William Neeson screaming in Darkman reverberates through my head.
Speaker 1:That's always what I think of. I always think of his face as the worst thing that can happen.
Speaker 2:Meanwhile, there's Baron Harkonnen sitting over there with his ugly mug.
Speaker 1:That's true Robocop toxic waste. That's the worst thing I've ever seen in a film.
Speaker 2:It's just a little bit above when Robocop shot that guy in the you-know-where.
Speaker 1:That's rough I really need to get you this. I put a faint of a reaction figure. No, you don't. I'll have nightmares every day. That's the most nightmarish thing I've ever seen.
Speaker 2:Let's pull it up on stream.
Speaker 1:Oh gosh. Okay, James, it's your turn. You're surrounded. I shout at them. I accept their surrender. So this is what I'm going to do. I'm going to attempt. Can I attempt to grab one and push him into the grinder?
Speaker 2:This is the ground there.
Speaker 1:From your position.
Speaker 2:Not really I'm surrounded.
Speaker 1:I'm going to dive. I'm going to dive under one of their legs to try to get out from in between all of them and then, once I'm on the other side, I want to push them forward towards the thing. Just get them off balance if possible, cool, but I want to get away from that.
Speaker 2:Got to get away from Okay.
Speaker 1:I'm going to nimbleness this. Yeah, this is like running away kind of. Yeah, I want to run away, I want to, but I'm doing it a spectacular you know sliding for a second yeah, think of the panache nice 11. Alright, finally, nice, you um definitely tumble through their legs um to guide my hand. Definitely tumble through their legs, something like do you just want to get out of that area?
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I want to get away from them. There's just too many of them.
Speaker 2:We can go back to back fighting, going over towards Galen.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'll go over towards Galen and like do like a Power Rangers pose, like right next to me I'm like ah.
Speaker 2:Like, as we pose, you get kind of stuck to my back because you've been spraying Rascal Cider and I'm like why are you so sticky, Riley?
Speaker 1:He's the whole barrel, all that's left.
Speaker 2:I'm never removing it from my inventory, I just keep refilling it. It's all narrative effects anyways.
Speaker 1:It's like a keg, just like everywhere we go. We refill it, so they come over to attack both of you. Okay, we refill it, so they come over to attack both of you.
Speaker 2:Okay. Let them come.
Speaker 1:Hmm, do you need to test you Kalen? Of course it is Sorry, sorry. No it's fine. Sorry, two dread.
Speaker 2:Okay, and I took two dread earlier, correct? Yeah, so I have 26 out of 23 after the first dread and now I have 2 additional, so 24 out of 23. Is that right? Yeah?
Speaker 1:Math. That's a hit with a counterattack.
Speaker 2:I'm going to use my shield to soak to that dread. So now I'm at 19 out of 23. And I'm going to counterattack. Oh, I missed.
Speaker 1:Okay, roll a D6.
Speaker 2:Four.
Speaker 1:Flar. All right, you miss, but you're able to guard riley right so all the attacks are directed towards you less nice, I mean I'm gonna take one out right now, though no, that's fine, oh, oh, there we go back.
Speaker 2:Another one in the grinder.
Speaker 1:It's established All critical misses send you into the grinder.
Speaker 2:Except for when it's a player character. Let's make that canon right now. No, Next round Riot is going to be the dirty thing. This would be the worst death ever. Every time things just start falling the ground because it's funny when it's a robot. Yeah, when it's one of us, it's gonna be, it's gonna be rough and it'd be like a really slow death because it's like a steamroller in austin powers where it's just so, yeah, the sputter, sputter. Actually, you know what?
Speaker 1:So, yeah, the sputter, actually, you know what? Yeah, the next is going to attack Gretch, because it's Gretch, that's it, oh dear, he's dead.
Speaker 2:He's decapitated.
Speaker 1:He is not dead. But Buzzsaw just like, spaces him up, gives him a haircut. He screams he's covered in a hot oil.
Speaker 2:It's not a good scene. He's having a bad day.
Speaker 1:Now he's crawling against the conveyor belt, getting nowhere.
Speaker 2:Really, really pathetic. We just are all stopping and watching him. Just get off the conveyor belt. What are you doing? Oh yeah, it's true, this is like a jogging fight. The sputter guard are rolling backwards on their wheels and we're all maintaining position.
Speaker 1:Exactly, exactly. So next round there are.
Speaker 2:Three.
Speaker 1:Three left.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Two. Yeah, Two in the grinder and one that I killed. So yeah, Two in the grinder and one that I killed. So yeah, three, Roll the 12 plus one. Ooh, I go second. Not good, Get him Riley.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna attack the one attacking Grutch.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Good stuff, it's really good. What is the total on that? Some two, as long as it's not a one. I mean it's one to two Is it really Alright. I go tumbling Last quest point.
Speaker 2:I am going to use my last quest point to not tumble into the grinder. One of us is going into the grinder.
Speaker 1:It's going to be me.
Speaker 2:It's the equivalent of going into a black hole. You know we don't actually know what's on the other side.
Speaker 1:It's gonna be me, no matter what, because I will always suffer your consequence if you fall in. Oh, riley, killing, I'm sorry, okay, uh, okay, okay, galen, you were attacked, that is a hit with a counterattack.
Speaker 2:Yes, I countercritical. It's six damage. I take two damage or two dread. I'm sorry it's not damage.
Speaker 1:Sorry, yeah, you slice the sputter jack in half. Its parts go into the mulch. Nice the mulcher. Then I mulch. Riley, you were attacked, that's it. Oh no, you're plus one, right.
Speaker 2:Oh no.
Speaker 1:Stout heart 16. I do stout heart For sure, so it's one. Is stout heart broken compared to other abilities? Maybe it's really good.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's much better than my Shrugger Off.
Speaker 1:It has saved my life so many times though. Yeah, I mean just compared to other ones, you don't even have to roll, it just works. Yeah, just compared to other ones, you don't have to roll, it just works. Yeah, and it's once per combat, so you can use it quite a bit theoretically wait.
Speaker 2:Then why is my shruggered off only once per session and it does half and I have to roll and it's. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:I do. That's why I'm saying this yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I love it though, because, as characters we want to feel powerful.
Speaker 1:I think I did change it actually that you have to roll, I will roll, I refuse. This is what it says currently.
Speaker 2:Oh. Before dread is rolled I think then the game is over. I'm out.
Speaker 1:No, I mean I'm out, no, I mean I'm not going to say big boy rules. You're going to say big boy, I'm at zero, I just think you should roll. I agree, I think it should totally be rolled. It's super good.
Speaker 2:What's your medal?
Speaker 1:Riley, go ahead and roll one. I did, I did. He did and it was not great, oh, okay. Yeah, that was the oh yeah, okay, yeah, you're knocked out.
Speaker 2:Oh, no, oh no, no, no. All right, slowly. Is there one more that has to go? Still, ben, or that's it on their side.
Speaker 1:Yeah, there is, there is.
Speaker 2:Is this the end of Riley and Galen?
Speaker 1:That is a hit against our friend Gretch.
Speaker 2:What this guy Dang it.
Speaker 1:Whew, there's one courage left.
Speaker 2:He keeps starting to crawl faster.
Speaker 1:I am not a warrior.
Speaker 2:Oh no, roll D4. I can hit two of them, roll D12 plus two I'm going to use a quest point so that they don't counter and it's a nine Clean hit Roll D10. I do four damage plus one to each of them and they begin to bleed oil, so they each take five. Sorry, I'm looking for, yeah, a nine plus hit does bleeding damage, so they each take five damage.
Speaker 1:Nice Five is enough to slay them.
Speaker 2:I hurriedly, I hurriedly pick up Riley and Gretch on my shoulders and I go whoo, whoo, whoo. That's the best exploding sound.
Speaker 1:You hear now like a menacing voice come from behind, like within the grinder, and says you will not escape.
Speaker 2:How are you guys?
Speaker 1:doing on time Cause it's 1230.
Speaker 2:I should head out soon-ish, but I want to. It's a heck of a cliffhanger. I mean you will not escape but I want to.
Speaker 1:It's a hang of a cliffhanger. I mean, my god, you were not as keen.
Speaker 2:I want to smash cut to Zona, inbok, claudia and the lizard, who got slightly separated from us and they're still on the causeways looking down. Zona Inbok is documenting, and then Galen picked up Riley's life as corpse once again and began running. And then the whole time Claudia and the fire-breathing lizard are spitting gouts of flame at the gremlins that are slowly closing in on Zona and Claudia.
Speaker 1:Claudia is using the lizard like a flamethrower on the cosplays.
Speaker 2:They're holding their own. They're holding their own.
Speaker 1:They're holding their own it's like quacking monkey lizards, just like yeah yeah, that's exactly what's going on all right, you are running on the treadmill of doom and I guess we're going to leave it there. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Uh it, it like freeze frame yeah.
Speaker 1:From a side view.
Speaker 2:Galen's not actually getting farther away, he's just jogging in place.
Speaker 1:So as as we I don't know, I don't think you remember this, but last time we said fatigue yeah, and it's a good spot, you're getting super tired, yeah.
Speaker 2:This is yeah, and it's a good spot.
Speaker 1:You're getting super tired. Yeah, it's wild.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's wild Good times. This was a good, I think we. It was a random dungeon that ended up being not so random after all, just because of how we entered and avoided some of the stuff. It's actually not random. Oh, was it a random dungeon? Okay? Sandbox, sandbox, sandbox.
Speaker 1:The Mucklin Sandbox.
Speaker 2:Mr Sandbox, you know, mr Sandbox. Sand in my box. What?
Speaker 1:All right, On that note, we almost made it. Oh geez, All right.
Speaker 2:Thanks everyone for watching Um like share, subscribe, tell a friend join us on page. Hit that like button. You know, smash that like button and uh all that stuff that everybody says and um ring the bell so you know when a new video is coming.
Speaker 1:Every saturday same time definitely go to this link and sign up for our newsletter. Yeah, that's actually got all the updates about the full on Land of Eam. And if you want to check out some cool art today on Twitch artist Justin Gerard, maybe we can link him too, actually. I forgot that was happening. Yeah, justin Gerard the artist, he's going to be streaming day two of the artwork for the final Land of Eme RPG core rulebook cover art.
Speaker 1:Cover Cover art and it's beautiful so far and we're thrilled to be working with him. And yeah, check that out because that's classic. Yeah, all classic, yeah, all right, cool, until next time, my friends, all righty. See you next Saturday. Goodbye, bye-bye.
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