Land of Eem: Actual Play
Join Ben Costa, James Parks, and George Higgins as they play the Land of Eem tabletop roleplaying game, inspired by the series of fantasy books: Dungeoneer Adventures and Rickety Stitch and the Gelatinous Goo.
Ben Costa and James Parks are the creators of Dungeoneer Adventures, Rickety Stitch and the Gelatinous Goo, and the tabletop roleplaying game, Land of Eem. They have been friends since the 2nd grade, and love making stuff together.
Lovers of fantasy, they strive to craft tales that celebrate the adventures of unlikely heroes. Ben and James grew up playing tabletop roleplaying games, creating countless characters and collaborative worlds with our pals, a pastime that paved the way for their creative careers, as authors and illustrators.
Land of Eem is a tabletop roleplaying published in partnership with indie game publisher, Exalted Funeral. and is about adventurers exploring and discovering the remnants of a forgotten better age. Described as The Lord of the Rings meets The Muppets, players portray lore-seeking travelers, fortune-seeking pioneers, and adventure-seeking heroes in a time devoid of them. But for all its post-apocalyptic doom and gloom, Land of Eem is tonally quite lighthearted and droll.
Dungeoneer Adventures is a fun, middle-grade fantasy adventure series from Simon & Schuster, about the only human kid attending the adventure school, Dungeoneer Academy. The books are packed with illustrations and available at Target, Barnes & Noble, and Amazon, or you can ask for them wherever books are sold.
Rickety Stitch and the Gelatinous Goo is a fun YA graphic novel series from Random House, about a skeleton bard and his best friend on an epic quest to discover who he was when he was alive. The books are available through Exalted Funeral or online at Amazon, and you can ask for them wherever books are sold.
For more visit:
https://landofeem.com
Land of Eem: Actual Play
Land of Eem: Fantasy Actual Play S02E16 | The Wrath of Volnar
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What happens when Rylee and Galen brave the perilous Spill and encounter a bugbear in distress? In this thrilling episode of the Land of Eem TTRPG, played in the Mucklands Campaign Sandbox Setting and published by Exalted Funeral, join Ben Costa and James Parks—creators of Rickety Stitch and the Gelatinous Goo and Dungeoneer Adventures—with lead playtester and friend George Higgins, for an unforgettable journey filled with peril, humor, and high-stakes adventure.
Evading the River Watch, the party ventures into a toxic wasteland, where they find Volnar the Giant, a caged bugbear in need of rescue. From tactical maneuvers to heart-stopping escapes, the action ramps up as the group faces a series of intense challenges. Their journey takes an eerie turn when they enter a mysterious cave, armed only with their wits and Pulmo’s Magical Yo-Yo, which becomes a crucial tool in drawing out a grotesque mung creature.
Balancing humor with horror, the team’s clever strategies and palpable tension make this adventure unforgettable. Can they separate the fused creatures and escape the cave unscathed? Tune in to find out how they navigate this labyrinth of terror and creativity.
The episode builds to a climactic showdown in a mutant workshop filled with toxic waste and grotesque hybrids. As Volnar’s final transformation pushes the heroes to their limits, creative problem-solving and teamwork are put to the ultimate test. Will they outmaneuver the mutant onslaught and save their ship?
Perfect for fans of Fantasy Actual Play, Collaborative Storytelling RPGs, Rules-Light Indie RPGs, and the vibrant TTRPG community, this episode promises thrilling escapades, riveting storytelling, and moments that will keep you on the edge of your seat.
Download the Land of Eem Quickstart Guide for FREE, and join the adventure today!
https://linktr.ee/landofeem
Hey, welcome, hey Welcome. Oh my gosh, is that a noodle?
Speaker 2:It's a noodle.
Speaker 1:It's a noodle sighting Right. It's the most auspicious start. I mean someone's going to die.
Speaker 2:I thought that she needed to jump on board.
Speaker 1:That's true.
Speaker 2:Welcome to the 16th episode of season two, where we find Ellie and Galen trapped in in the spill I wouldn't say we're trapped oh, you're trapped.
Speaker 1:That's like a new detail that I'm sharing with you this is a tactical decision that we made it was a tactical decision that's now turned into a mistake as uh between the you know you wager options like be attacked by the river watch yeah, or go to this green toxic meadow of or lake, rather, yeah, it's fine, it's totally fine, it's. It's not eating into our ship, it's not destroying the very ground beneath our feet I don't hey beth those ideas into ben's head how's it going?
Speaker 2:beth it's been?
Speaker 1:welcome.
Speaker 2:Beth welcome welcome I went to uh graduate school with beth oh cool, hello welcome love it. So, yeah, we're just, uh, we're playing land of eem rpg, which we made. That's what we're doing right now, and um should we just doing right now and um should we just jump right in. Is there anything we need to talk about?
Speaker 1:um, yeah, let's jump. No, I'm happy to jump right in. Yeah, I'm, I'm uh, let me see what my courage is. From last session it's probably fine. I don't recall taking a lot of damage. We can go with that, cool, yeah. So so we're in the spill. It is toxic and horrid and I hate it. It's a vapors get everywhere. It's a lot like sand in star Wars.
Speaker 1:I was just about to say that Sand, I hate it. It's close like sand in Star Wars. I was just about to say that it's right out of my mouth Sand, I hate its coast, beth, if you're still here, how you been doing it's been several years.
Speaker 2:Several years is always too many years.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:It's more than two, all right. So you guys have sort of just been drifting in this bill as night passes, and by the time you wake up in the morning, you're woken up by the faint calls of someone screaming.
Speaker 1:Cuckoo-ca-choo, cuckoo-ca-choo. I headbutt Galen, and then I you headbutt me. I'm unconscious. For the rest of the quest I don't participate. Oh, I'm hilarious. Beth is fine and the npr voices are amazing. Yeah, george just got a new mic. I I upgraded. We were just saying the same sort of thing about george's mic. He's so smooth sounding, he's like it's his smooth operator a new pirate girls project writing dinosaurs.
Speaker 2:That sounds amazing.
Speaker 1:That is amazing. It's like dino riders crossed with pirates of dark water. I hope like that's what I want it to be it's a super property yes, I love it.
Speaker 2:That's great beth very cool, what do?
Speaker 1:you think um yeah, so we hear yeah, your faint screams I mean okay, so, so you gotta be, you gotta kind of clarify for me. Is it the screams of like terror, screams of excitement?
Speaker 1:screams of battle calling for help oh, it's kicking into gear man all right, I um immediately start to leap off the boat and riley has to grab my cape and stop me because the spill is terribly toxic. Except I basically don't stop him, I grab the cape just for the momentum, so we can both go over the edge. Ben, how far is it to land and am I able to leap with my dummy, thick frog thighs?
Speaker 2:You both have to make athletics checks. I love it the closest.
Speaker 1:Riley's come to flying since last time, so she's Riley.
Speaker 2:Riley gets a plus one, but Galen gets a minus one.
Speaker 1:That's fine. I think that Riley actually uses me as a springboard to like leap. Yeah, that's right. My head, yeah, yep, that's what I was going for. Eleven oh boy, here we go. Here we go, here we go, all right. Nine, all right, okay clear the green ooze.
Speaker 2:Um, you realize just how pungent it is.
Speaker 1:Once you get down closer to it just smells like chemical horribleness um, peabody looks at us and then looks at the gangplank he lowered off the other side of the boat and he says why didn't you guys just use the gangplank? That was ridiculous and reckless, because we're awesome and I high five Galen. But then quietly say like we should never do that again. I said we survived, we'll make it again, it's fine. I say onward loyal chum, we'll make it again, it's fine.
Speaker 2:I say onward loyal chum.
Speaker 1:We must rescue the voices that are screaming.
Speaker 2:You can see it when you look back at the boat that the paint is wearing from it. It's being eaten away.
Speaker 1:Poison the jam's mind George.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, pretty much.
Speaker 1:We got to get out of here as quick as we can, then I think this is dangerous. But let's race towards the voices and see if we can help those folks. I do it.
Speaker 2:All right. You follow the voice and you come across a bugbear that's in a cage, like Mad Mardigan. He looks, his fur is all matted and gross, and he's. He sees you and starts pleading with you. He says help me, get me down from here. I'm thirsty.
Speaker 1:I say wait, I just start storming over with holding up my flag and filled with water and be like sure, I walk right towards him, he grabs it and drinks it all. He greedily chugs it down um. I say, wait what? Why are you up there?
Speaker 2:it's volnar the giant, it's a horrible beast.
Speaker 1:Uh, oh put me up here to die do we know anything of this volnar? Can we like lore him.
Speaker 2:You can make a lore with disadvantage that's fine.
Speaker 1:I scoff at your disadvantage and I rolled two twos, desmond, two twos. I mean it's going to be a 5, I would. Should I put a quest point in, or should we just go in blind? Let's go in blind. I don't know why it feels right.
Speaker 2:I never heard of them you never heard of Volnar, but it must not be that big of a giant Giants are not to be trifled with. Some call them the descendants of ogres, which are mythical, world-ending creatures.
Speaker 1:I feel like an ogre just broke into James's house. I know, Uh like, hold on one second. Real life stuff. What you just heard were the sounds of noodle destroying something indiscriminately. James gets.
Speaker 1:XP, because that's how he gets XP, or is it me that destroys things indiscriminately? Wait, yeah, no, that's my flaw noodles getting xp for me. How about that? All right, nothing happened, we're good. Um, all right. I say, uh, all right, really well, I mean, you know, we never heard of this guy. How bad could he be? How how big was the giant? I call up to the bugbear Never even once thinking of getting him down.
Speaker 2:He's huge. He's a towering creature. He's mutated Heads growing out of his arms. It's awful.
Speaker 1:That sounds like a weakness almost. He doesn't have hands. He has hands, it's awful.
Speaker 2:That sounds like a weakness, almost so he doesn't have hands just has like mouth teeth hands he has one giant hand with a mouth on it. You're right, as you know, I mean it just sounds like a bad idea from an evolutionary standpoint, but I guess if he needs to get like evolution it's, it's the spill it's the secret of views you're saying this place is full of mutants and he's creating them oh my gosh, is that we put you up there he put me up there as an example.
Speaker 1:Well we're gonna take you, we're gonna take you down from there as an example. I'm going to die. We're going to take you down from there as an example. But I'd rather die than become a mutant we're not going to make you become a mutant why We've got a ship we might be able to get out of here. How well do you know the area?
Speaker 2:I'm from Bugbear Holler. I was just brought here by Volnar. He hates us Bugbears because we drove them out of the mountains.
Speaker 1:Sorry, he traveled like eight hexes to kidnap you and bring you back to the spill.
Speaker 2:Hexes, what are you talking about?
Speaker 1:Um. We use a rudimentary map so we can see where we're going. You can see our map.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we we yeah.
Speaker 1:Well, it's a giant, it's got, you know, a good strong. Yeah, Um, I say uh, well, let I say well let's get you down. I mean maybe well we're not going to leave you here to suffer. If you head back that way, you can at least hang out at our boat. Yeah, I gain 1 XP by rescuing someone from danger. It's just how I think of my actions always. I cut him down, alright, and then gently lower him. I don't let him fall much.
Speaker 2:Um, yeah, I mean you can hack away at the cage one and uh get him out and okay, uh, he says look, uh, I don't think you want to see what's going on over there. I think it's best that we just leave. We don't want to see what's going on over there. I think it's best that we just leave.
Speaker 1:We don't want to see what's Wait. Are there? Is there? What do you mean? We don't want to see what's going on Over. Where Is it the direction farther ahead In Volnar's cave. Volnar's cave. I say what hex is that? That?
Speaker 2:atrocities that he's created. I mean, they'll make you gag and vomit right on the spot and let's say buddy boy, we've fought poltergeist. No, there's this harpy chimera thing. This is like a harpy just grafted onto the back of a chimera. It's the ugliest thing I've ever seen.
Speaker 1:How do?
Speaker 2:we? Uh, why is he doing this? I don't know. I think he's he's amassing some type of horrible army.
Speaker 1:Wait, we can't can't just turn our backs. I mean we got to stop this guy. I say, or we got to turn him on the river, watch our backs. I mean we got to stop this guy. I say, or we got to turn him on the river, watch. I look at georgia gasp. It's like this scar glistens in the moonlight or whatever. Yeah, the enemy of my enemy dark lord galen he's coming out.
Speaker 1:Um, I say well, I think curiosity would get the better of Galen and he'd want to at least kind of try to peer over the ridge towards the cave mouth and see if he could see anything. I tell the bug what's your name, winston. Oh, he didn't use the random generator.
Speaker 2:No, I don't need to, it's right here in the sandbox.
Speaker 1:It's pre-generated His name is. Winston.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:I am going to start walking towards cave. Yeah, I'll, I'll accompany you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so it's kind of difficult to get there. You'll have to hop over. You know toxic waste, so everybody make an athletics check.
Speaker 1:Let's see how that goes. Okay, I'm using the quest point I saved earlier for that.
Speaker 2:Okay, I did it, alright alright, george, you get dangerously close, but you don't touch it. But your next check okay.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it was a little bit off balance actually not your next check, but like if, if you fall in or something you touch it, your vitality check minus one, because I've already yeah, exactly Deep down, Galen is thinking maybe that he could become a stronger creature if he oh no, no, I'm kidding no, no, no, no, no, Not going to explore that dark path Now. It's amazing.
Speaker 2:Toxic Real ultimate power.
Speaker 1:Yeah exactly, It'll be some kind of toxic revenge. One of his eyes is gonna slump down into his cheek and he's yeah, you too they're. They're gonna both go to one side of my head and I'll be like a halibut. That should be like an option. If you're a fin folk, you should be able to put your face on one side of your head. Speak to my good side.
Speaker 2:Disadvantaged looking left. So we don't have a custom mutation list yet, so I pulled a little up.
Speaker 1:I like that you say yes, oh, we don't. I thought we did. Maybe I didn't finish that.
Speaker 2:I've got a d500 things all right.
Speaker 1:So if, if, our viewers aren't aware I have a weakness for random things happening like, um, wild effects. Uh, I love gambling with my fate. So the fact that ben is presenting me with a d500 mutation list is like very, very tempting, because you still might get something good.
Speaker 2:George is an agent of chaos.
Speaker 1:I am. If you gave me a third arm, that would be one more attack per round, I think.
Speaker 2:That's how he interprets the mutations.
Speaker 1:I see no drawbacks, I only see bonuses. Didn't one of my characters end up with like the hands of a fish and like turned orange? Yeah yeah, anyway, that was exciting, um so. So, yes, I will be aware of future encounters with yous secret of the use um.
Speaker 2:Make a search, check one of you as you try to find this place you've been rolling really well, james.
Speaker 1:Go for it, go for it nine nice nice all right, uh, winston follows you there, and uh I turn to him I say, hey, you're, you're not of the Zetamore clan, are you? Wow?
Speaker 2:I keep saying these things that I don't really understand. I guess it's just because I'm from Bugbear Holler, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1:Well, I'm just glad you're here to take a stance with us. Wow, wow.
Speaker 2:I don't even know what to say. Hey gang, You're petering me out of it.
Speaker 1:One might say Egon too far. Someone might say Egon too far.
Speaker 2:Oh, all, right Back to the Land of Eam. You see the ominous cave and it's surrounded by pools of ooze and whatnot, but it looks like inside the cave it's clear of ooze Ooze free. Is there any like? Movement around like creatures or yeah, no, but you see like bones and gross slop.
Speaker 1:Is it a completely natural cave, like there's no gross slop, like there's no artificial or man-made supports holding it up. It's just completely natural hollow. Um, yeah, okay, uh, let's see. So I mean, I'm our classic move is to collapse the cave. That's just what we've done multiple times. It's worked before. It will work again. Um, we don't have godly magical items or dynamite like we did in the past, though. That's true, that's true. And since there's no man-made, I didn't realize. And when you blew up that sarpathy temple, like I didn't know that the seed was going to do that thing. The hurricane that was one of my. I am a wind god. I still say that every once in a while. You hear me mumbling in my sleep. I'm a wind god. Thunder, thunder, thunder.
Speaker 2:I say we investigate the cave. I'm interested to see what's going on in here, so I'm going to.
Speaker 1:I'm interested to see what's going on in here, so I'm going to go right in. Actually, no, at the mouth of the cave I'm going to put, I'm going to leave Pulmo's yo-yo the yo-yo that does tricks by itself. Use that to maybe draw out any creatures before I go in. So, like a lure, yeah, I want to lure anything that might be in there out and then sneak in.
Speaker 2:What are you luring it with? Sorry, I was reading this rib by Beth here. Viewers. No, no, no viewers no, no, no, no.
Speaker 1:I think she was high-fiving, because there may be it seems quite genuine direct.
Speaker 2:Attack it's a direct attack against ben costa I mean, knowing beth, I would take it as a rib. Ah, maybe you know. I mean it's funny.
Speaker 1:I don't know, beth, kissy face. It's impossible to interpret the kissy face, beth, we have no, we just can't read into that it's unclear. That's great, yeah. So we've set up Pulmo's Magical Yo-Yo. To yeah, the Magical Yo-Yo to act like a lure to lure out anything Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-.
Speaker 2:What I thought would be a smart plan is now going to be our new plan.
Speaker 1:Well, we've officially lost to Yo-Yo as the chimera comes and eats it.
Speaker 2:Sorry, I didn't have my book open.
Speaker 1:I gotta do that. I gotta do it.
Speaker 2:Talk amongst yourselves the.
Speaker 1:Industrial Revolution was neither industrial nor revolutionary. Paul P Talk with Linda Richman Destroyed James. No one was expecting that. The only reason you guys keep me on this stream, george, you're a treasure.
Speaker 2:I try, oh gosh, gosh came out of nowhere.
Speaker 1:I spend the entire week having to be like mildly sane for my job. This is this is all I ever hoped for. You're making me laugh, george. I'm making my life. I see many d100s being rolled this. Yeah, he's just trying to distract us from the death about to fall upon us, yeah the absolute doom.
Speaker 2:The doom, as it were so the only thing that comes out is this um, this mung creature, but it looks oddly different and it's like twittering and like laughing and clapping I'm sorry, oh okay, um, a little mung creature is being enthralled by it well, how does it?
Speaker 1:it looks like a mom, but at the top it looks like all warped and like it's flapping around ben, I'm not trying to highlight your art, but do you have a mum you can pull up and show us?
Speaker 2:Do. Actually, this is actually a Sean Kiernan's art, who um is doing a lot of the creatures. Yeah, Sean.
Speaker 1:Kiernan, brilliant artist.
Speaker 2:Mostly ghostly.
Speaker 1:Oh, okay, all right, gotcha, gotcha.
Speaker 2:So imagine like on the top of its head a little like twinkling, buzzing, like fluttering thing, it's clapping.
Speaker 1:That's terrifying.
Speaker 2:And it looks to be controlling it, Like it's controlling it sorry, like I'm sorry.
Speaker 1:I heard the words that came out of your mouth but my brain wasn't processing. You like, like, uh, like you said, mechanical like the words that are coming out of my mouth, george ain't nobody understand what's coming out of your mouth, um, but it was like a, so it's being controlled by, like a device. No no it was a creature.
Speaker 2:Okay, okay.
Speaker 1:On top of it. Um, yes, okay, I am going to do something bold.
Speaker 2:Separate them.
Speaker 1:Yes, I'm going to try to separate them, but I'm not at the best shot. I'm just going to try to knock it.
Speaker 2:Away from it with my sling. Hit me with your baby shot.
Speaker 1:With my lucky I'm trying to shoot the fluttering thing to knock it away from the mung, to see if I can't rest.
Speaker 2:It looks attached.
Speaker 1:Like they're organically linked. They're grown together, yeah, they're grafted to one another. Oh my god, this is some body horror stuff Ben's going. Oh my God, this is some body horror stuff Ben's going after my necklace. It's like this is becoming a very Cronenberg adventure. I have a weakness for this. It terrifies me. I know I have to text you late at night now, oh gosh. Okay, I'd say, riley, I don't know, it might not be a good idea. I'm not sure you can even separate those things that have they've been fused by some unnaturalness but you know why would, uh, these creatures just suddenly want to serve this giant?
Speaker 1:you must be controlling them in some way. Well, I mean the same way that it is being distracted by Poromo's yo-yo. Maybe the giant has enthralled them and socialized them.
Speaker 2:You guys don't understand what happens in there. It's the ooze. It changes you and makes you a monster. They're not in their right minds anymore.
Speaker 1:Well, we've got gotta put an end to this. Yeah, uh, zona imbach behind us. Zona imbach with uh mushroom news. Um, he says uh, I feel like I've grown two sizes smaller. Every time I try to feed from the nutrients in the soil I get tinges of ooze. I feel like I've become a changed mushroom. You should stop doing that yeah, I was like oh my gosh, he's like as tall as I am let's roll.
Speaker 1:A mutation for a zone in buck oh no, oh yes I mean yeah, yeah, oh yes, I mean, it's just like it just gives me joy to even like access the forbidden mutation table.
Speaker 2:George roll a D500.
Speaker 1:Thank you for this privilege, oh man, four zero five.
Speaker 2:Four, oh five y'all. Fun fact we've all driven on the 4.05. Zona Inbot grows fangs.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's awesome. He kind of touches his mouth and he says I have no need for fangs, but somehow I feel more menacing. Yeah, he Note to self pretend that he's a vampire lord. Vampire mushroom lord.
Speaker 2:He can deal some damage now with those. If you want him to die.
Speaker 1:You want him to die? No, we never risked anything. You want him to die? No, he's our chronicler.
Speaker 2:I'm just saying, if you want to use his combat abilities, that'll just leave him open to death. Yeah, so far he's just been immune because he's just like a guy.
Speaker 1:Just hanging out, scribbling into moleskins Hebe or chronicler, yeah, um, okay, I say uh, well, zona, um, hope you never get a taste for for bog roll, or shrimp for that matter. Um, so they tried it, just just you probably. I don't want you to find out that you like it. Um, we look deep, like deeply into the cave from the mouth, and probably see nothing, I imagine will you still see that that among the creature?
Speaker 1:yeah, it's so. It's just it doesn't. I doubt it's like like a door guard or anything. I mean, riley, do you want to go farther inside? I was going to sneak around the monk creature and start to investigate the cave. Okay, I'll watch your back. If you want to go stealthing off, I will definitely strip the stealth. I'm going in, okay, twelve.
Speaker 2:Nice, you deftly pass this and you get a better look at it. You see now like a gooey, deformed-looking fairy.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's, so sad.
Speaker 2:On top of this mung.
Speaker 1:That's the worst thing I've ever heard Tunker Bell.
Speaker 2:It looks really happy, though, as it watches this yo-yo. You brought joy to its life. That's amazing.
Speaker 1:It hasn't had joy like this in an eternity of suffering. It's actually going to join our party now, isn't it? It's going to eat like zona and bach zona's got fangs, though, so he can defend himself drag one of us into the toxic waste and we're gonna come out.
Speaker 1:The rest of the quest is like me and riley fused together as one. The rest of the quest is like me and Riley fuse together as one. It's what's the? What's the movie? With Greg Kinnear and Matt Damon stuck on you, stuck on you. That is going to be our future. Yeah, that or the fly. We're just like anything in Ninja turtles yeah, um, yeah, yeah, so riley.
Speaker 2:As you sneak through this cave, you see like dripping slime from the ceilings and you also see a bunch of empty barrels that look like they have crusted ooze in them. Yeah and uh. And then you start hearing some like echoing growls and uh, horrible noises. Beth calls michelangelo.
Speaker 1:That's a good idea, I do that. And all of his brothers, dibs on Donnie, I mean he's always been safe.
Speaker 2:You know what? I'll go with Leo, okay.
Speaker 1:All right, I'm going to approach the growls and just say where's Splinter?
Speaker 2:Wow.
Speaker 1:Splinter, splinter, splinter. Can I continue to sneak to see if I can approach and find out what's growling?
Speaker 2:we'll have to make another check.
Speaker 1:Okay eight, I use a quest point. Nice, yeah, I think that was a wise one. This is why I let you go by yourself. I'm doing my boldly going directly into danger.
Speaker 2:You get to a split where you could go three different ways, but you follow the growls and you enter sort of like a, a zoo almost it's a menagerie. It's a menagerie of mutants.
Speaker 2:Some of them look more wild than others, but they're all uh locked in cages I, I think I know where this is going um, and you see, the one that winston was talking about, which is the one like growling and the closer you get it's like almost deafening and then, but you can't really hear it that well, but on the back of this chimera is a cackling, deformed harpy is.
Speaker 1:Is there anything that like looks like it could be talked to?
Speaker 2:yeah, there's some like sad, looking like more humanoid, like a mutant boggart and like so can I'm gonna go to a mutant boggart.
Speaker 1:I'm going to go to the mutant boggart and be like hey, can I help you guys?
Speaker 2:Where's the giant? You're talking under the din of all the growling like a growl. He says you don't want to be here. Why'd you come here? You're dead.
Speaker 1:You're dead. Do you understand that I'm not dead yet I'm going to?
Speaker 2:stop this giant. You can't stop Volnar, he's huge.
Speaker 1:What if you help me? He's huge. What if you help me? He's huge.
Speaker 2:What'd you say?
Speaker 1:What if you help me? How can I?
Speaker 2:help you. He's got like bulges, like he's all bulbous and like he's got a tiny arm.
Speaker 1:Like Chris Elliot from whatever that movie was. I don't know but sure, yes, thank you, thank you cabin fever. I think it was scary movie wow.
Speaker 2:I didn't see that, george. I didn't see that you were safe. Well, do you want me to?
Speaker 1:let you out of here. I didn't see that, george. I didn't see that you were safe. Well, do you want me to let you out of here?
Speaker 2:God jailbreak him. It's locked.
Speaker 1:If you let me out, you're going to let all these other things out. Okay, so there's like one mechanism that will unlock them all. All right, good thing that you are mechanically inclined. I don't know that. I want to let them all out right now because they'll just eat me, or whatever. Maybe they eat each other. You don't know until you try. This is polar grip, all right. Well, sit tight, I'm going to investigate the other two tunnels. Do you know what's there?
Speaker 2:One leads to Volnar. I don't know where the other one goes.
Speaker 1:Do you know which one leads to Volnar? Is it the middle one or the one on the right?
Speaker 2:I don't know, my mind doesn't work too great.
Speaker 1:Suddenly the little hand just starts like wiggling, like a tail wagging, oh no, okay, all right, sit tight, I'll be back.
Speaker 2:Oh wait, I just remembered something.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:One of them goes to the, I guess the lab. You could call it the lab.
Speaker 1:I like it. Okay, I'm going to go get George and help George sneak past the mung. You come out to find all of us enthralled by Pulmo's yo-yo just sitting there.
Speaker 2:We're all sitting together.
Speaker 1:This is the best I've felt all week. I mean, I get to stretch my legs out, watch a yo-yo. This thing's happy, still clapping, but like I guess as riley comes out, you notice like or she notices the clapping of the thing has actually gotten like slightly more aggressive, like it's almost concerning, like it doesn't, it doesn't. It's like having too much fun and doesn't know how to process the emotions of it, like a kid who starts to cry when they're eating.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, so I'm just yeah we're just sitting here.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so I'm going to bring George up to speed. Yeah, like, look, there's a lab in here. That's probably where Volnar is like making these things happen. Um, we should, we gotta break it. Yeah, we gotta, we should mess it up. The script is playing. Then get the heck out of here. I like it a lot, but we gotta let up the mutants too. I like that idea less, but I agree, maybe we can. Maybe we can rig it so that you know you can pull the lever to open the cages once we're farther away. That's brilliant. I've got this rope. This is even better. How long?
Speaker 2:is this rope.
Speaker 1:I don't know if I actually have a rope. Oh no, I have string. I have string. How much string do I have? Ben, I have string in parentheses tool.
Speaker 2:I mean I have string. I have string. How much string do I have, ben? I have string in parentheses tool. I mean string is string. So I doubt this. You need like hundreds of string is string.
Speaker 1:Ok, well, pull that lever when we come to it. But yeah, let's, let's go back in. Did it seem to be a pretty clear path, apart from this weird creature that's just still being mesmerized? Uh, I don't know, I only went down one tunnel. Oh yeah, I assume we will just go back the same way.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we'll go back to the mouth yeah the three, the maw, and then guess which one is not? Um, actually, I'm gonna use I for clues, okay, and um, I'm gonna detect that, uh, there are um enormous footprints that go to the center hole, to the center cave.
Speaker 2:That are enormous beard a little bit.
Speaker 1:that are enormous beard and stash A little bit more in Enormous beard and stash Punch and Quest Classic that are like deeper footprints than the other two.
Speaker 2:Sure.
Speaker 1:Clearly that's the one he's always going to. Okay, the question is will Bernard grab my hand?
Speaker 2:Yes, he will. Yes, Bernard, guide your hand. Okay, this is true.
Speaker 1:All of it Gosh every time, practically. It's true, we always do it, at least I do.
Speaker 2:Uh-oh, yeah, it's true, we always do it, at least I do, uh-oh.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's great. Tell us more about your 21.
Speaker 2:Things are being rolled.
Speaker 1:I'm scared and a 34.
Speaker 2:There are 34 bugbears in cages. Oh yeah, what are you doing with that information?
Speaker 1:Avoiding that tunnel, I said let's go to the other tunnel. Okay, galen shrugs and he just follows riley's lead. He trusts her implicitly. All right.
Speaker 2:you head, uh, down to the right tunnel and you start seeing more and more barrels and these ones look like they're full and you see like a grate that's been put into the ground and like it's oozing ooze into the grate. So they're filling it up. So you have to like watch your step as you go forward. Okay, in fact. So you have to like watch your step as you go forward. Okay, in fact, make a dimpleness check.
Speaker 1:Oh um six, yeah, hold on, let me just look for my Oof. It's going to be bad.
Speaker 2:So, riley, if you come in contact, also six, All right. So, george, you get an additional minus one.
Speaker 1:For tomato vitality penalty.
Speaker 2:Yeah, if you end up contacting, hmm, go ahead.
Speaker 1:I think part of it is just like you start getting the smell like locks in your nose and starts to burn your lungs.
Speaker 2:Yeah, weakens you it's terrible, yeah, it's strong stuff. And uh, you, you keep going down this tunnel and you see, um, the first thing you see is like a shape of a crab I turn to riley and I say this is turning into a pungent quest, oh wow you see, like this may be the first time here you've encountered a crab rack, I can't remember I want to say no, because we'll get experience, but I feel like we may have actually encountered one and I don't know,
Speaker 2:okay, may have been a different quest uh, bursting out of its carapace is the top torso and and head and arms of a shrimp.
Speaker 1:Who's got? I cover Riley's eyes immediately. This is horrible.
Speaker 2:The shrimp is wearing gloves and and there are gloves on the pincers of the crab rack, so they're like big on hygiene. Well, the pincers of the crab rack, they're like big on hygiene? Well they're.
Speaker 1:They're handling all this waste and like just pouring stuff on this creature that's laid out on a table oh god, a few times in in land of aim, where I've been disgusted this is. I think, deep down, galen feels that we have to put an end to this. This is too much suffering, this shouldn't exist. I'm going to say drop the toxic wastes. Galen is sneaking and then freezes this party's over.
Speaker 2:The shrimp turns towards you first and then whacks the crab rack on the head to follow suit.
Speaker 1:Does it use a ladle to bonk it? No, just its fist, master blaster, yeah, and it says new specimens nah dude come, come, get on the table, join us oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. This is oh, this is gross, this is gross, volnar will be pleased. So this guy's obviously complicit. Should I just try to kill him like immediately?
Speaker 2:I'll be like the jig is up Like Volnar, Volnar's little mutant army.
Speaker 1:They're toast. I got nothing.
Speaker 2:Riley is just tongue tied like every time she looks at this like horrific shrimp. You frog, you're good stock like a fine warrior in the army.
Speaker 1:I say thank you for the compliment and then I respectfully decline by swinging my axe. Warrior in the army. I say thank you for the compliment and then I respectfully decline by swinging my axe. Wait, george, oh okay. Yeah, no, it works. You stop me. I'm mid-swing, so maybe if we can get this guy standing over the grate, we can take out the grate and he'll fall in. I say okay. I say fine If out the great and he'll fall in. I say okay. I say fine If you, if you want me, you'll have to come get me and I stay. I place myself next to the great, so he'd have to come up to me.
Speaker 2:The great is a ways back and you would have to touch it like lift it up and it's covered.
Speaker 1:I have a different strategy for that. But um, do you want to skirmish back to the great and lure it? What if we run and then release the mutants?
Speaker 2:maybe the mutants will not like this guy I have a feeling we can get him in the yeah yeah, yeah, I mean I can definitely break the great um, but it's a matter of like.
Speaker 1:If he runs into the hole, the great ben sorry, that does the great span across the hallway. Or is it just we?
Speaker 2:we tiptoed around the edge um, you know, this is a crab rack, which is a large creature oh, I understand what you're saying, yes, so unlikely. You'd really have to force them, shove them down, that great like um, get in there, um, okay, well, um, that's fine.
Speaker 1:I say, riley, I can hold him off if you want to open the cages, or we can all just run and get the cages on the way out. I was thinking we could like run in. As soon as he gets there with us, we open the cages and then escape One.
Speaker 1:One last question, ben this room where they're the guys pouring, you know, ooze onto these creatures, is there any other like? Are there any delicate mechanisms or like things that would be that are required for them to continue this? Like I'm looking for things to break and it's kind of what I'm getting at to to hinder this operation uh, yeah, I mean there are like laboratory vats of ooze with like creatures like floating in it like back to tank style yeah gosh, how do we like?
Speaker 1:the problem is like the toxic way, like we have no way to get rid of the ooze yeah, find a way to neutralize this ooze in some way. We need hazmat suits.
Speaker 2:I mean make a lore check okay one of you, or I mean yeah, I use a quest yeah, I use a quest point. I don't know if it's worth it. I was just. Oh okay, I don't want to force you to use a quest point If I'm not going to like give you some massive secret yeah.
Speaker 1:Not going to give us the secrets, I'm just going to give you like world. Okay, no, it's um. I say like Galen is is too distracted by everything that's going on to to recall whatever all you know, your failure with a plus is that, like this isn't some new thing.
Speaker 2:The spill has been here for like a hundred years um, so okay.
Speaker 1:So yeah, we're not gonna. We're not gonna defeat the use. We can just slow the the building of this army. We have to stop volmar. You know what we need? We need some kind of like um nature oriented mechanical mech to come and just gatling gun some seeds into these people just make them plant monsters yeah, um, all right, so fine, uh. So I going to ask Winston, why did you run this giant out of town?
Speaker 2:anyway, Well, I mean he was terrorizing us. There's not a big jump from terrorizing us to doing this type of thing. He's a sociopath.
Speaker 1:All right Agreed. Meanwhile just a very quick snap cut I feel like whoa, wait, wait.
Speaker 2:I feel like you're blaming us for running him out of the mountains. I'm not blaming anybody, I'm just trying to get some intel.
Speaker 1:You're blaming the victim here we're in deep, we're in real deep. I just need information riley, this is not the time for victim shaming.
Speaker 1:I just start steaming like walking back and forth, yeah, the scene cuts back to Lars the Dratch on the boat with Piabody. I forgot about Lars. He's in a hammock and he had like just paper over his face and he like wakes with a start. He's like, hey, where did everyone go? Piabody points over his shoulder and like wakes with a start. He's like, hey, where'd everyone go? Gravity points over his shoulder and then lars dress looks, sees what's going on the distance, puts newspaper back on his face and goes to sleep nope yep uh, all right, so cut back to us in in the the in this, with this crab rat creature.
Speaker 2:Cave of wars.
Speaker 1:Cave of wars.
Speaker 2:I see. So what do you? Yeah, how are you immediately dealing with this Cause? You know?
Speaker 1:he's coming.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you've had like several minutes to in real time waffle back and forth the crab Rex just sitting there, going like it's in his battle pose yeah, yeah, um, beth is calling us out immediately.
Speaker 1:I love it, I love it, I love it. Um, shame, shame. So the crab wreck is is, is, yeah, battle posing, I don't know. I mean, I think Galen would just deal with it by charging in and, and I guess he would, the Volnar would just end up making a new, you know, minion to keep dousing things and ooze.
Speaker 2:But yeah, it's not like that science yeah um, uh, all right, so how about this?
Speaker 1:I mean, I, I think we should just go back and release the monsters and try to get the heck out of dodge. I have no idea if that's a good idea or not. Oh, it's a bad idea. I don't think we can face volar. I'm scared. That's yeah, I, I agree, um, but I don't. I don't think. I think we need to force our own hand and maybe flee for now from this guy, unless you want to attack him.
Speaker 1:I say we get out of here. Yeah, I say you'll never take us alive. We turn tail and run.
Speaker 2:Okay, whoever has the worst nimbleness check can make a check.
Speaker 1:And this will also double, as both of you possibly touching the ooze, I am plus one, I am minus one, so it is me. This might be a good time to lend a hand. I was just about to do a pep talk for you. It's a seven, it's not. I don't think it's touch ooze worthy, but I think that I would probably get another penalty to the vitality role.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Okay, all right, processing, processing, processing processing, processing, processing.
Speaker 2:Success with a twist. So are you guys running out of the cave?
Speaker 1:I think we're running back to the monster chamber. Well, it's on the way, though, right, I mean we have to go through it. It's down another cave. There's three caves. Oh okay, sorry, I misunderstood, so we'd have to run past that guy again, but they're all in cages for a reason. Why is that? If these are his army or whatever? You know what I mean? Yeah, you're probably trying to break them still, like they were successful mutations.
Speaker 2:I mean, this is all just us inferring something, but winston can provide some insight, as you guys are running like shouting at each other.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:He says we treat them like animals. He's taming them, they're scared of them, they follow his orders. It's like putting a used to be tiger in a cage.
Speaker 1:Used to be tiger. Wow, no, I just forgot that's a thing. No one should be caged, is that what riley says? And then she just goes charging back down the tunnel yeah, all right, you see, deckard kane, hello hey, listen as we, as we start barreling down this tunnel, um, it cuts back to the pulmos. Automatic yo-yo and the creature and at this point claudia and the lizard have come up to it and they've begun pecking at it and, uh, gently breathing gouts of fire.
Speaker 2:Let me stop you there. What, yeah, why?
Speaker 1:do you and the lizard have been fused together?
Speaker 2:I'm okay with that. I'm definitely okay with that. They have gotten some ooze on them. It's a flying gun now.
Speaker 1:Wow, you have a mobile mobile turret.
Speaker 2:Um, yeah, I mean that scene is not like you. You kind of just left that scene to be what it was.
Speaker 1:Uh, I can't leave anything well enough alone Um the. I can't leave anything.
Speaker 2:well enough, alone the Hmong fairy has consumed Palmo's yo-yo.
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 2:And it's like chasing Claudia and the lizard around Tennille, the lizard around to kneel well, hopefully the cloud and lizard will still be alive on our way out.
Speaker 1:It's impossible for us to see this and just keep going. We, oh, I didn't realize. We saw it. I thought we were just like cutting to it, you were making narrative, but we actually see this I just got confused.
Speaker 2:I don't. I don't know what you guys are doing. Okay, all right, all right, james?
Speaker 1:are we charging down the tunnel to rescue? The as he asks that of riley. She's holding one side of the string and running as fast as she can down the tunnel, while he has the other side. What? Pull as hard as you can. When I say so, I immediately pull it and she falls. I'm going to tie the string around my waist and unlock all the cages. I love it Okay.
Speaker 2:All right. I mean, how are you unlocking the cages?
Speaker 1:Well, the boggart said that it unlocking the cages will unlock all of them. So I'm going to use uh, um, I'm gonna use a quest point and do I for clues for the mechanism that unlocks them, and then use my crafting tools to like bust it up. I like it, please work Nine, oh nice.
Speaker 2:That's I for clues.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So what? What is the clue?
Speaker 1:The clue is that there's like an interlocking locks, like those big, long iron ones that connect like this and then shift. And I'm going to go run and find the cog that connects them and makes them turn and smash it with my crafting hammer so that all the cages open at once. Then I'm going to tug on the string and scream.
Speaker 2:Okay, when do you plan on tugging on the string when you're outside of?
Speaker 1:As soon as I open the locks. Yeah immediately after it gets smashed. Yeah, and then I was going to have. I was hoping George would use like feats of strength. I was going to have. I was hoping George would use like feats of strength.
Speaker 2:I was going to use feats of strength to pull? Yeah, gently enough to not snap right in half, but, yes, into his arms. Alright, make that check make that check.
Speaker 1:Don't Make that check. Make that check, don't Digger, digger. Can you lend yourself a hand? What is that check? What is my bonus? I should have inspired you. I'm sorry, tinker, don't you get advantage to tinkering, or is that a thing?
Speaker 2:Mechanics repair.
Speaker 1:This isn't really any one of those, so my total is seven.
Speaker 2:Okay, success with a twist.
Speaker 1:Maybe the twist is that Volnar has rigged some kind of alarm system so that when the cages break, yeah.
Speaker 2:So you've got basically like all sides coming in against you.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:There's the crab trim all the monsters. And now Volnar is alerted. This is so classic us Yep.
Speaker 1:Except we don't have any dynamite to blow up the witch hovel. Yeah, I'm just intently holding onto the string. I'm gonna tug on the string and be like, pull as hard as like, yell as loud as I can. The minute I hear even the puh Riley goes flying, I use feet of strength and immediately begin to reel her in as fast as possible.
Speaker 2:You're like Scorpion over here. You know, get over here, get over here.
Speaker 1:Alright, get over here. Um, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum bum.
Speaker 2:You go flying into Galen's arms you hear.
Speaker 1:We have a moment.
Speaker 2:Stomping a Volnar and all of the creatures are just pouring out. Like what? Basically you have a split second. Yeah, discerning eye are just pouring out.
Speaker 1:Um, like what? Basically? Uh, yeah, discerning I create a weakness or vulnerability in someone or something within line of sight. Um, can I discerning? I I guess this is probably stretching it but a? Um, a massive like gate between it, like at the mouth of the cave, like a portcullis or whatever. Yeah, like a portcullis gate at the mouth of the cave, like a portcullis or whatever. Yeah, like a portcullis. This is a tough call. It's up to you, ben. Whatever you want, let's create a weakness or vulnerability in someone or something within line of sight.
Speaker 2:That's kind of more like a feature.
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay, there is no such thing as there.
Speaker 2:Uh, I think some other class has it.
Speaker 1:No, no, no, I'm sorry. In this cave at this moment in time there is no like portcullis type deal.
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 1:Um, okay, how about this? I okay, I know what I want to do. Um, the cave itself. What I'll do is I'll discerning eye. The cave itself is a little bit below, I was going to say sea level, but maybe spill level, and I've noticed a kind of a dripping in the wall. I think that if I smash this assuming my discerning eye works that it may come flooding into the cave.
Speaker 2:I like this.
Speaker 1:So I tell Riley and Zedimor to keep running. I know it's not really his name but I still like the idea of that it's a six. I think that's.
Speaker 2:Success with a twist.
Speaker 1:The twist is that it's going to be really hard for me to get out without getting mutated he loves this twist, uh no I mean whatever you want, ben. Um, I'm going to use my last quest point to use speed of strength again and attack it, um, and then and then we can maybe we can bind that all and make the twist happen. Then Does that make sense?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I've already got something in mind, okay good, that's an eight Oof.
Speaker 1:Again the same thing. I don't have any quest points left to twist it up. I can do something. Oh okay, I'm going to give you a pep talk. I knew you could do it and it's after for the quest point. Oh nice, or it's immediately. I can give him an immediate quest point, but I can't give him advantage unless it's beforehand. What does that inspire? 10? I give you one quest point. Amazing, I immediately use it to use feed of strength again, instead of using it on. No, I added to the the role, so the it works clearly, but yeah.
Speaker 2:So you were able to hack into the ceiling and, yeah, there was like a reservoir of ooze and it immediately sprays. But you're able to get out of the way and then, like a wash of ooze comes barreling towards your pursuers. Mm-hmm, you don't see what happens, as you guys are just.
Speaker 1:That's terrifying.
Speaker 2:Running out.
Speaker 1:It's gonna be like Volnar, with, like multiple creatures coming off of him. We've just created like a titan, yeah, yeah, the worst villain in the world. This is like a Power Rangers villain. We need, we need the robot Johnny Appleseed now, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, and then you as you go out the, out the tunnel at the entrance. You see that, uh, the mung has eaten pulmo's yo-yo it's like in its body.
Speaker 1:Okay, it's still dancing actually. Yeah, it's like a really, really entertaining and the mung.
Speaker 2:The mung is smiling and then, um, when it sees you, it's smile like turns to fright, because there's like all this rumbling and Olnar is like yelling and like there's just like grunts and horrible sounds coming.
Speaker 1:I yell at the monk come with us if you want to live as you scoop up the chicken and the lizard. Yeah.
Speaker 2:It blorps onto your leg.
Speaker 1:Okay, I accept. Make a vitality check, that's like uh, no, I accept it was not a blurb of affection, was it? It is, but it's just. Oh, okay, but it's a corrosive spill month.
Speaker 2:Yes, it's a 10. It's minus 2.
Speaker 1:It's an 8.
Speaker 2:That's a success with a twist. We're fused together, now twist we're fused together now, so how do you think that should be handled with a mutation should?
Speaker 1:it just be like six plus you don't, you're not mutated, probably no, I'm, I, I. There's not, there's not um degrees of mutation in the mutation table, is there? Cause I was going to say like, well, what? If it's like, definitely a fine, I get mutated, but it's like a minor mutation Cause it's just gently on my leg.
Speaker 2:Let's say it's like a temporary mutation.
Speaker 1:Okay, all right, like a lot of green tea, will buff it right out. Wow, v 500. Yeah, very excited. Thank you, ben, you're looking at five, five five Uh not sure how to. You've got ridges and I know how to use.
Speaker 2:All over, up and down your back and sides.
Speaker 1:So he's like a.
Speaker 2:Am I armored, you look?
Speaker 1:like a Klingon.
Speaker 2:I look like Worf. Yeah, it's just. Maybe you have like a minus one charm.
Speaker 1:Between the scar and the ridges. Hmm, okay, okay, so my charm is plus one and then always minus two. So now is it always, and then I guess the mutation will do minus one.
Speaker 2:I'll give you one block. This is perfect.
Speaker 1:George loves it this is a mechanical advantage. I immediately jumped to the ooze. Everyone always made fun of me for wanting chaotic things to happen, and look at this now I'm stronger than ever. If you jump to the ooze, you're going to come out and be like Zoidberg okay, cool. So you guys are running back to the ship than ever. If you jump in the ooze.
Speaker 2:You're going to come out and you're going to be like Zoidberg. Okay, cool. So you guys are running back to the ship.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we're running back to the ship, like Indiana Jones runs for the plane.
Speaker 2:We're just like Make athletics checks to avoid falling into the ooze.
Speaker 1:Seven.
Speaker 2:Twelve.
Speaker 1:All right, I fear nothing now.
Speaker 2:James, your minus goes down by one additionally, so I think you're at minus two.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:As you get closer to the ship, you see your worst fears come true. The Riverwatch?
Speaker 1:No, it's worse, I would love it.
Speaker 2:Volnar, but he's like he's got several of the creatures that you saw merged into him. His entire leg is now a crab rack and you see the chimera harpy on his shoulder. You didn't even really see what he originally looked like.
Speaker 1:So the impact of this is like the most horrifying thing. I immediately use my level seven dual ability and tell Riley to get on the ship. Just ends with George like a giant fist coming down, still standing.
Speaker 2:Just ends with George like a giant fist coming down still standing yeah, as I flex the ridges like bulljab war uh, lord, uh, that's a good question, though, like do you want to actually stick around and stand, stand your?
Speaker 1:ground or I? Just I just don't see. How does Peabity have a cannon? Wow, they suddenly all of the junk, like you know, parts on his ship and a giant cannon comes out uh, what you do see is lars the dratch leap off the ship, um, um with this giant axe and like watch this unfold, this like spectacle.
Speaker 2:This giant monster come out of the cave mouth. I love it. He says what did you guys do in there?
Speaker 1:no time get the engines going, do something. I don't have time to explain what I don't have time to explain. You know, no time. Get the engines going, do something. I don't have time to explain what I don't have time to explain you know All right, so tell me what you're doing. I think so. It's going to take a while for Piavity and everyone else to get out of here. Right, I will. I don't know, this is such a terrible idea. I will hold it off.
Speaker 2:How the hell can I hold it?
Speaker 1:off. It is Ben. From a practical standpoint, it is unlikely that I would be able to defeat this thing in single-handed combat, correct?
Speaker 2:Is it tougher than Olgos? Yes, I imagine.
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay, yeah, because it's already a giant yeah, no, I get it. Um, maybe what I would do is whistle for FB, hop on her back and try to lead him away.
Speaker 2:That's what I was going to do.
Speaker 1:I was going to attempt to lead him away. Yeah, I got this.
Speaker 2:Get the ship going. Okay, are you both going?
Speaker 1:to lead him away. I will use all of my mechanics, repair woodcraft and tinker anything to get the ship ready to rumble with Piavity Nice. To get us out of here, in fact, I will use Jack of all trades. I was a junior sailor in River Country.
Speaker 2:I love it. And I'm really good, all all right and I totally do it um, so you're just georgia, what?
Speaker 1:you're just um, come, no, yeah, so was there for FB. I will use faithful steed to have her come scoop me up and um, yeah, it makes sense. And then we're going to kind of like, weave off into the, the, the kind of, uh, this forest around the spill, and lead them, lead them towards or lead them away from the ship.
Speaker 2:Okay, so I mean um, it's perilous in itself to do this.
Speaker 1:I understand.
Speaker 2:Go off and lead him elsewhere.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I lead him to Bogtown Uh.
Speaker 2:I guess make like an intimidate check or something. If there's one thing I'm good at it's that.
Speaker 1:I don't do it. I mean it's a five.
Speaker 2:I will use lend a hand.
Speaker 1:I appreciate that and shout at the top of the. I'll shout from the bridge like you got this man. You can do it.
Speaker 2:Is lend a hand. Where you roll it? Yeah, still also bad. I did not succeed. Where do you roll it?
Speaker 1:Yeah, still, still also bad. I did not succeed.
Speaker 2:Okay, um, so the giant is going towards the ship.
Speaker 1:Yep, All right.
Speaker 2:So Lars the dratch is still there, Um like kind of backpedaling.
Speaker 1:This poor guy.
Speaker 2:Thunderblade. Where are you? He thinks you're Thunderblade.
Speaker 1:You just hear like a like the hoof prints of of FB and me coming back back now that we see we haven't gained his attention and we're gonna use the war tortoise ability to ram him um I assume that's combat.
Speaker 2:But yeah, I think lars is gonna get attacked before that okay because, your action was like intimidating this and it failed to ram him into this bill even further.
Speaker 1:That's what I'm, that's what I'm hoping like. Just push the mutations to the point where he can't do anything uh to hit lara's counterattacks. I love this. I have a crazy idea. Oh no, this is insane.
Speaker 2:So I'll have you control Lars, but let me just. I actually don't think it's a hit Because he has minus one defense.
Speaker 1:Wow, we have plus one, but Lars has minus one. That's funny.
Speaker 2:Dudears is legit lars is amazing. Um, it's kind of a loud yeah he dives out of the way of this massive fist that has, like well, one of his hands has a mouth on it, so maybe this Slap.
Speaker 1:Yeah, there was a rock where he slammed down and the rock is now gone and you just hear crunching.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so you can attack with Lars if you want Do you want to do it, james?
Speaker 1:No, you go ahead, I'm going to do something else.
Speaker 2:He has plus one attack.
Speaker 1:So he crits Freaking Lars man.
Speaker 2:I guess a giant. It does not crit, but I understand it hits?
Speaker 1:Yes, Does it do 10 damage? I assume.
Speaker 2:Yeah, or hits yes and does D10 damage, I assume.
Speaker 1:Yeah, similar to me. Okay, or dread, rather, how dreadful he does eight. Nice, he, he, he is. Axe swings overhead into the crab rack leg and cracks its shell a little bit, revealing the delicious crab flesh beneath it.
Speaker 2:You know, as a dratch, lars also has an ability. He can choose a target in combat and for the rest of combat he has advantage on attacks against that.
Speaker 1:What? That's amazing. I assume he's chosen the target, or does he have to choose like a limb or something? No, I think it means you can roll to see if you would actually crit he's chosen the target, or does he have to choose a limb or something?
Speaker 2:No, I think it means you can roll to see if you would actually crit.
Speaker 1:I would not.
Speaker 2:Cool, alright, riley, you were getting the ship ready. Yeah, trying to getting the ship ready.
Speaker 1:Yeah, trying to get the ship ready to sail, but now I have an idea that's maybe a little crazy.
Speaker 2:Crazy or any.
Speaker 1:So the ship is in the spill right Because it's like floating. I'm going to use pick on, summon your own size so that once per combat I can make an adversary attack me instead of the allies for two rounds when I get minus two defense to try to draw him in the water. I love it. Then maybe I'll try to ram him with a ship and put him under.
Speaker 2:I'll try to ram him with F ship and like put him under yeah, and I'll try to ram him with FB so he let me paint a picture. He's like yeah he's larger than the ship.
Speaker 1:That's okay, we, we, we, we know this, but no, and like, at least if he comes after me, then I can sail the ship further out get him deeper in the water, right, that's, maybe he's.
Speaker 2:That's like best case scenario. I'm saying there's a bad scenario where he just like smashes the ship, throwing that out there all of our lumber that we've been trying so hard. We just want to make the bridge of the crack.
Speaker 1:This is like an ecological catastrophe.
Speaker 2:It's a totally unexpected monster.
Speaker 1:We've only worsened things. Let's be real here.
Speaker 2:Well, you've consolidated a lot of the horror into one entity, into one entity, correct? All right, fair enough.
Speaker 1:Now we just have to somehow defeat this entity with uh no weapons and uh a tugboat.
Speaker 2:That's, uh, I mean, that's more than the ghost, but george am I nuts like I'm trying to draw him in so that he's like no, I down in the sludge and it mutates him even further.
Speaker 1:yeah, I'm hoping that you've incensed him enough and the ship can move fast enough to get away and keep getting him into the water. I don't know if that's a thing I can't tell. That's why I did the jack of all trades to try to be a better sailor.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's wise.
Speaker 1:Just kick Piabity off the controls and take over the ship. Take it over, I put on the giant cut. Pick on your own size, volnar. Take it over, I put on the giant cut.
Speaker 2:Yeah, um but yeah, pick on my own pick on your own size, volnar. Do you have to roll anything, or it just works, it just does it.
Speaker 1:I think it's so devastating that there's no need to add a a a lot.
Speaker 2:Okay, Um two rounds two rounds, two rounds. And what are you doing, galen?
Speaker 1:you're attacking I, I would be trying to to ram him, to like, put him off balance. I guess roll initiative I go first, cool Riley also goes first. Well, let me just see if this works right. So War Tortoise roll plus attack. Once per session you can ram a structure, knock down a door or deal 1d10 Dread to an adversary knocking them over.
Speaker 2:I'd be willing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's what I'm hoping. Get him swimming and that stuff. What's my attack bonus? Just go with it. Ben Roll, some mutation, that's like Ah man. So I have an idea how this plays out, ben, I would say, if you're willing, he would hit me on the way down Like I do damage, unless he has like such a sufficient thing where this is just like his. I don't know what his armor is. I assume it's not minus two or something.
Speaker 2:Defense wise his defense is minus one. He does have some block okay.
Speaker 1:So yeah, I'm less interested in the damage and mostly interested in the the knockdown aspect of this attack. So, uh, because it's between six and eight, he will counter-attack me, I imagine on his way down. Does that make sense?
Speaker 2:yeah, and he has all these things on his body that can attack.
Speaker 1:Yeah, suddenly he's just a harpy, starts screeching. My ears bleed. It's terrible, um, but go on. So. So fb and I did. Let's see how much damage. Yeah, he, he negates it all. We did one damage and is blocked by his existence. And fb is almost a little bit concussed. She wasn't expecting him to be like she hit him with the shell, but just got all these reverberations through her body um, but I'll say you do, knock him over I like it uh, which would drench him in uh ooze, but at the same time you are are also attacked by the crab rack.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's like as his leg flies in my direction. It's like toes or pinchers. It's a clean hit, Ben.
Speaker 2:Okay, so on a crab rack. Let's see, that means something that is.
Speaker 1:Oh my God, don't tell me it latches onto me or something stupid and drags me in.
Speaker 2:Oh my god, don't tell me, it latches on to me or something stupid and drags me in their attacks. Ignore armor bonuses and armor reduction. Okay, so my block is irrelevant and it grabs your weapon and tosses it aside, oh no. Okay, please don't toss my weapon into the supreme jerk move but I accept if you do it I accept, I would say that you will have to uh avoid touching it to pick it up okay, I'll do anything for that thing, but um yeah jayla gave her life so that we may live volnart falls sideways into the, the big lake of ooze, so he's like partially in it.
Speaker 2:um, and you see that like when he gets back up a little bit, like a lot of his body is like turning more into jelly, it's like losing form.
Speaker 1:This is going to be how we do this, george. I rolled 6D500 to give him 6D500. Okay, to give him six minutes. Okay, it's a mutation for every point of dread he receives. Yeah, but I like where you're going with this. He's goopifying. And then, james, you were saying this is how we're going to do this.
Speaker 2:One of the mutations, 147, is unsettling laughter that requires higher links to make a morale check. Um, lars must make a morale check. I mean, I kind of love this.
Speaker 1:It's like still great, okay, so Make a morale check for Lars. B12 plus one.
Speaker 2:He's started to die, oh my gosh, lars can't deal with it.
Speaker 1:Lars bolts Somehow, he makes a stunning leap onto the deck of the ship and then jumps into his hammock and pulls the blanket over his head. He's hiding in the ship's lavatory, like that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he's like Jurassic Park the guy running into the bathroom.
Speaker 1:That's what I'm saying. Claudia and the lizard make it, and then let's see about the. They're just whatever. Claudia puts onutty and walks onto the zone imbach is a plus three morale, because zona imbach is stunned. Um, he makes it, but he starts retreating a little bit, perhaps, I don't know. And then? And then, what's our? What's this last thing? The fairy mung, clever girl.
Speaker 2:Oh, clever girl I love it.
Speaker 1:The fairy mung actually is enthralled by laughter. Yeah, yeah, it's perfect what about piabity? That's kind of important oh yeah, that's okay, all right. All right, I'm gonna give piabity a minus one because, let's face it, he like ran from the river watch, all right, he's. I don't know why or how he's standing tall, he's just like the crap I've seen yeah yeah, you wouldn't believe the sirens I've heard calling me out in the sea, out in the rivers out of the rivers, of river country, and I talk like a pirate? Yeah, it's just.
Speaker 2:They're actually just sea lions wailing, yeah uh riley, um you, you've done this like sailor thing, like what are you doing to make the ship go faster?
Speaker 1:and let's make a roll see if that works so I am, to everyone's dismay, I'm trying to roll a log out of the ship like under my own power, and I've almost got it.
Speaker 2:It's like almost off so, uh, I guess my question is like you did, pick on your own size, pick some oh yeah, and and so that's drawing this guy towards you. So what is happening? That won't just make it like smash the ship where you're standing.
Speaker 1:Well, force field, hold on, I'm almost done.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I want you to roll that to determine if it's going to attack the ship. Yeah, what I was.
Speaker 1:What I was saying is like I'm like almost got a big log off the ship That'll make it scoot a little further, so it'll be out of.
Speaker 2:I'm just going to say that you do push off a log.
Speaker 1:So metal or a might check.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but you can do whatever you're, Jack of all trades thing does.
Speaker 1:Oh, it's a roll advantage on on on sailing stuff.
Speaker 2:All right, so roll advantage with might.
Speaker 1:Uh, best that. Uh, that says the commas made to a Diana Nikes, not a velociraptor, and she should have had feathers, and I agree completely.
Speaker 2:Who's the nerd now beth?
Speaker 1:okay, okay, george, in complete agreement as a master himself. Um, so I use a. I have to use a quest point to make that a six okay, success of the twist, so you do propel the boat forward he attacks and what happens is it's minus two.
Speaker 2:What happens is it's minus two. I think my defense is minus one. He smashes his hand and it misses the boat, shatters the log, but then there's a huge splash of yeah like a goop wave.
Speaker 1:It's too bad we got rid of that umbrella, so.
Speaker 2:Oh lord. That would have been the best Riley, make a vitality check. It's minus two Minus two.
Speaker 1:Oh right, what's my vitality? So it's seven, because I have plus one.
Speaker 2:Okay, you will have a temporary mutation Roll a D500.
Speaker 1:Oh man, this is so exciting. How do I roll a 500 again? Slash roll space D500. All right, slash roll space. I don't think I've ever once used the dice roller feature built in. I've always just yeah, 156. You gotta love when the dm like laughs immediately.
Speaker 2:This is just this is a good table. Evil eye One of your eyes becomes green and wobbly If you die. It becomes a slime.
Speaker 1:Oh my god, what I'm like. Mad-eye Moody or whatever. Yeah, the quest is going to be Riley dies and then I'm left with the slime in me and it's sad.
Speaker 2:I hope that doesn't happen Conjoins with the slime in me and it's sad. I hope that doesn't happen.
Speaker 1:Conjoins with the slime that's already on your leg. Yeah, we become our own. Bill Nair. Yes, we are still winning as nerds. Beth, it's true, I'm not winning. I don't do the keyboard commands. I don't feel cool now, it's only me.
Speaker 2:How dare you accuse me of using keyboard? Riley, you also take five dread from oh, that'll do it.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's a temporary hit points, temporary. We still have the armor.
Speaker 2:Yep I'm 14 out of 14 y'all, I don't know that you're close enough, though you're not close enough, I'm not out of 14 y'all. Uh, I think there's a benefit.
Speaker 1:Yeah let me see yeah, that's I think we may not have ever that's fair. It is fair, uh, within 10 yards. Yes, correct 10 yards okay, yeah, okay.
Speaker 2:All right. And then when you see Volnar raise his hand out of the goop, it's like disintegrating. It's becoming slimier.
Speaker 1:Okay, we just got to keep him in this pool, man, and not die. That's all All right Next round. We're one field roll being completely destroyed, George yeah.
Speaker 2:Riley, make another check to see what else are you doing to make the ship go faster.
Speaker 1:So I'm going to hip shimmy Peabody away from the wheel and like crank it hard so that the boat shifts like in the opposite direction, so that Volnar has to like turn to use his other arm to hit us. All right, and if the universe Bernard.
Speaker 2:I feel like that's also a might.
Speaker 1:Ten, ten.
Speaker 2:Nice, you do it. Combat Galen, what are you doing?
Speaker 1:Combat wombat. So I rolled an eight. I go before this guy. This is a little bit tough. Maybe I'm going to declare him Is he? Is he within range to attack, where I will not be putting myself at too much risk? Like, is he still at the edge of the water, or ooze, rather?
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, you don't have your um weapon.
Speaker 1:Yes, I pull out another weapon.
Speaker 2:Okay, Um, yeah, you could attack him without I mean, the risk is his body parts attacking you.
Speaker 1:Right, uh, I think, uh, I'm in out. I mean, their risk is his body parts attacking him right.
Speaker 1:I think, uh, I'm gonna mighty blow, I'm gonna mighty wind him, uh. So I declare a mighty blow before I attack um, which is gonna give, can I? It doesn't say you treat it like a cold shot, so I'm gonna. But I am gonna attack his leg. It is uh not, maybe not as crap. Is the crab rack leg still the one that's good, or is they have it? Doesn't say you treat it like a cold shot, but I am going to attack his leg, maybe not his crab. Is the crab rack leg still the one that's good, or does he have another leg that's like goopified?
Speaker 2:I can't remember, his upper body is goopified.
Speaker 1:Okay, so I will attack his lower body and see if I can't deal enough damage to maybe make him take a knee in the goop. D12 plus two, oh five Swing in a mish Story. Sorry, it's a failure. Oh, wait, wait, wait, sorry, it's a mighty blow hit by the adversary counterattacks, which is almost worse. Yeah, because Mighty Blow gives yeah, it's risk-reward. A Mighty Blow, mighty, mighty, a Mighty Win yes.
Speaker 1:A Best in Show. Ooh, I think that works against him. Ben, I'm just saying no, but he gets a plus, so it's a five yeah, what was your damage? Oh, it's fair seven okay five. There's nothing appropriate to say. We rarely do. Also, and that's the problem with our stream, George is holding back a lot. I hold back so much and it's terrible. Sorry, ben, what did you mention or what did you say prior to that regarding the damage roll Seven?
Speaker 2:Volnar takes five.
Speaker 1:Okay, got it 7.
Speaker 2:Volnar takes 5. Okay, got it Okay, volnar goes after the ship.
Speaker 1:I turn to Zonai and say if only we could figure out this guy's Volnar ability. Riley dies and turns into a slime. That says I have nothing appropriate to say. I just read that.
Speaker 2:I just processed that.
Speaker 1:It could fit at any point in our adventure and be an appropriate comment to make.
Speaker 2:At this point. Volnar kind of wades. He's getting up and wading deeper into the lake and he smashes again at the ship. Which causes a large wave that propels the ship but also sends another splash of ooze onto you, Riley.
Speaker 1:Oh no, oh no, oh, my goodness. Oh, um, I can't inspire as a free action Shoot. Um, wait, actually, ben, can I inspiring order to give it? To give Riley a bonus before it's rolled. I always forget because it's usually an out-of-combat ability. But, okay, I'm going to do it. I think it's worth it. I don't do it. You just hear Riley and it distracts you long enough for it to hit you. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Alright Eight, I think you're minus three at this point, that's a seven. I was going to use a quest point, but no, I will not.
Speaker 1:A quest point. What is your?
Speaker 2:I'm plus one Plus one. Okay, you have another temporary mutation.
Speaker 1:I'm sorry, did you just say a temporary bonus, mutation?
Speaker 2:It's a good thing.
Speaker 1:It's always a good thing.
Speaker 2:So roll another D500. Oh, that's, right. I'm so excited You'd think I would have a gambling problem in real life.
Speaker 1:The way I love random tables 406.
Speaker 2:Uh, you got yourself an elongated skull, so it's like like the guy in bill juice was.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean you're a shrimp. So we just have like a longer snout and your sense of smell is backwards bulging.
Speaker 2:Oddly. You're like an alien, You're like a xenomorph.
Speaker 1:You're a cone head. I'm like a xenomorph.
Speaker 2:A xenomorph. Yeah, a little my head looks like a banana yeah. A little mouth comes out of your mouth, it's perfect Knocking into furniture. But this last blow caused the ship to get a nice propulsion. And now Volnar is like he looks to be sort of sinking and he's starting to thrash Galen, what do you do? I mock him. We're in the next round. Riley, you're Galen what do you do? I mock him. We're in the next round, Riley, you're kind of far away from him at this point too.
Speaker 1:Unless you wanted to attack from range. Yeah, I'll shoot a sling at him.
Speaker 2:Knock him on the brain. I hit, oh my gosh, my gosh.
Speaker 1:Nice, this is one of the few times, yeah, yeah, I've like only ever hit once before five dread nice uh, that's amazing. I I will. Um, you hear the sound of like a proton pack charging, like as I pull out the anti-muckman slam thrower that I've just been carrying around the entire time now like, look at him. I look at the muckman slam thrower. I'm like he's kind of like a muckman. Let's see if this works and I'll make a ranged attack at him. He's got a cigar in his mouth, yeah 11, nice.
Speaker 1:Um, I don't know that we're really treating him as a muckman, but it's just a ranged weapon I happen to have what did it have a function?
Speaker 2:yeah, it was plus plus.
Speaker 1:One attack versus muckman. Times two dread versus muckman.
Speaker 2:That was it um, yeah, you can roll times two dread amazing.
Speaker 1:Should I just use my standard, uh d10 dread still yeah okay, wow, oh my gosh, uh god, the little, the little mung creature is going like clapping his face like has the slime all over yeah, yeah yeah, you see, you see that, like the foamy slime, the, the floam, if you will, the floam shoots on to Volnar and it's like disintegrating his body even more. Yeah, and just pumping it like a super soaker yeah.
Speaker 2:Uh, but uh. He swings at you, galen, Of course, like his arms just are able to reach.
Speaker 1:Yep, I mean it's uh, it's a clean hit.
Speaker 2:I hold up my shield in time and I block four of whatever you're about to roll Nice, nice, all right, all right, all right the arm just crashes over me and all the matter that was the arm kind of just goops and sprays away and he has less of an arm. Now he attacks again.
Speaker 1:I accept my ridges protect me, hopefully Let me see, ooh.
Speaker 2:So this is the Chimera. Did he roll a three though? No, that was, I'm just rolling Chimera thing.
Speaker 1:Oh, okay okay. That's a critical hit. Yeah, it is. Oh no, oh no, georgie 16 dread. Okay, uh, actually plus three it's okay, 19 dread minus 118, so I have 10 hit points out of 23. It is, it is, uh, such a powerful blow that it floors me. It just it sends me reeling. Um, I dig my heels into the ground and try to stand, uh, but I'm looking a little rough yes, so we move to the next round.
Speaker 2:Um, you see volnar's body visibly start sinking even more. Now he's starting to grab onto the land and try to pull himself up.
Speaker 1:Hopefully we can keep him in there. I'm going to try to sling his fingers. Yeah, winston charges him and tackles him into the water, sacrificing himself well no, he doesn't.
Speaker 1:He doesn't do that. Yeah, obviously he doesn't. Even guys like carrying somewhere in the corner. Um, okay, let's see if there's anything else. I'm just worried about attacking this guy and ending up in the drink. Oh, yeah, we should roll initiative. Yeah, oh, I couldn't have had that role for something else, but I do go first. I think this is an important go first though it is, but I've already used my once per session RAM.
Speaker 2:I'm just trying to think if there's.
Speaker 1:Oh, Beth says I'm really annoyed that all of your desk areas look neater than mine. If you'll notice, they're all cleverly angled up so you can't see the actual horror. That is like. I will admit, mine is clean. I've got nothing in front of me except for my computer.
Speaker 2:I, I'm a yeah, I'm moving soon, so there's just like a mess of boxes behind me that are just you can't see.
Speaker 1:Um, oh man, I don't know what to do. I guess I can shoot them again with the, the, the slam thrower, and see if that keeps them at bay. Yeah, because all my other abilities are mostly used at this point and totally. The slime thrower was really effective. Hopefully it is effective again. No, it backfires that's a failure. Uh, that is a horrible failure, yeah okay, yeah, I mean it's three, it's a three, so it's a backfire, or?
Speaker 2:like a one, though it's two, so one to two is a complete miss wait wait, why is it minus one?
Speaker 1:because it's defense oh, I forgot the fact of it. Okay, okay, yep, one of two is a complete miss. Yeah, I just. George shoots it and as soon as he shoots it, it just like stops in front of him and fills him Like he's like covered in foam, maybe, maybe the backpack starts overloading Like the shrimp. Engineering is failing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, I think I might say that.
Speaker 1:Like I lose the weapon, at least.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because you've had it for so long.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:I haven't been doing the upkeep, the maintenance.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it was amazing that we had it to begin with.
Speaker 2:All of the insides are like dry now, like you got the last pump out of it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, last yeah. So so in attempting to dry fire the weapon, it it overheats and do you want it to cause damage to me? How do you want to do it?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think, just it being out Okay, juice yeah.
Speaker 1:Comedically covered in foam. Yeah, I keep shaking it and like putting my ear to it, knocking out a tank, like shrugging it tank like shrugging it, Riley.
Speaker 2:It sprays like anti-mung dust in your face.
Speaker 1:And then Riley is like I told you to never look down the barrel and to oil it and to maintain it and you never did any of those things. Blah, blah, blah, blah. We are actually like dividing each other during the battle. This is 100% what happens.
Speaker 2:Now it's the guy's turn. Yeah, I'll say most of his focus is on pulling himself up.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:So he gets an elbow onto the land and then smashes down at you. A people's elbow onto the land and then, like, smashes down at you.
Speaker 1:A people's elbow onto land.
Speaker 2:Yeah, wow, I guess it would be a hit with a counterattack.
Speaker 1:Yeah, much to my chagrin. How much damage do I take, though? Oh, my good Lord. So it would have been a counterattack, but your boy galen's unconscious assuming that was an 11, and he probably has a plus to it, right?
Speaker 2:yeah, I did plus uh no, no no, it's just 11.
Speaker 1:Oh, okay, still unconscious, like I have one block and 10 hit points I'm or 10 courage, I'm at zero, exactly.
Speaker 2:All right, Riley, you see the fist. Just drive Galen into the ground.
Speaker 1:Again.
Speaker 2:Again.
Speaker 1:At this point Lars goes Thunderblade. I am going to, he doesn't. He's still cowering.
Speaker 2:See if you're wounded, galen, yeah.
Speaker 1:Vitality check right. It doesn't have the associated penalties from the ooze, does it? No, no, okay, all right I think, it's plus two, I'll check.
Speaker 1:Um, it's 10 plus something. So I think I'm safe. It was. It was, yeah, like I'm bruised and battered, but there was nothing piercing or slashing or maiming about that blow. And then see how long you were out Before, right, two rounds, is that a thing? Okay? And then make a vitality check to see if you're mutated. There it is, there it is, yep, and this is the minus three. Yeah, hey, look at that, it's eight. Temporary mutation again. Is that what we're going with? It's very exciting. It's the best kind of mutation, the one that doesn't stick with you forever. D500.-2-2 1-2-2.
Speaker 1:I wore 1-2-2, once Made my legs look great, you got donkey ears. That's classic.
Speaker 2:That is a classic. Galen.
Speaker 1:Dundugle, the frog looking man with no ears now has sprouted donkey ears. I love it like I'm unconscious slumped against a tree and then donkey ears go bloop just kind of like pour out of your head. Yeah like a slide whistle sound, mm-hmm, yeah, yeah, like a slide whistle sound. Yeah, we win.
Speaker 2:We're pretty far at this point. Volnar turns his attention to you and he's like lifts himself out of the lake of ooze. But, like now, his legs are jelly. He looks like a giant mung, like from the waist down, oh no, um, hmm. And so his behemoth girth slides across the land goyth.
Speaker 1:I'm going to use Riley, I'm going to use a quest point and do eye for clues again and I'm going to rummage through all the junk and find a harpoon gun for like it's amazing. Please, no, oh, please, no, like the gently defeated. No, I find no such thing. I fail. Okay, I am sitting in the boat, aghast. Piavity looks at you.
Speaker 2:He says we're gonna need a bigger boat. I know, all right.
Speaker 1:Uh, on the second round that, george, you wake up oh, I'm so dumb I should have shrugged off one of the attacks. I'm useless, sorry, sorry, yes, second I wake up.
Speaker 2:The beast Volnar is like made it over to the boat. He's like parallel with the boat.
Speaker 1:I get my hit points. I get my level back in hit points. Is that correct? A D6 plus your level, it's even better. That's going to be 13 out of 25. Back in action. For how long, gosh? So we got this big goopy goop Again. We'll go in after the ship.
Speaker 2:Just knock him in, we'll get him it is yeah, your turns to think of something I'm working on it.
Speaker 1:I'm working on it. I have very little things I can do still, yeah, aside from, like, frightening and or intimidating him, which is not gonna work. Uh, all I can do is is try to attack him again I don't. Yeah, gosh, I don't have any other abilities at this point and I burned all my quest points um, points um. Let me see if I have any items real quick I have an idea. Yep, it's a long shot. I'll take it um. What are we doing? Because, in terms a roll initiative, it depends on.
Speaker 1:If we're doing non-combat. I was going to attempt to make a trap on the deck of the ship using some rigging and an anchor or whatever. So I can get. If he attacks the ship, get his hand lodged on it.
Speaker 1:Then I'm going to try to chug the ship into the and pull him in. Pull him straight in to the slime, cover his head so he loses his brain. All right, I inspire you. Hold on, or you're making a trap. It's an advantage you already have advantage. I am're making a trap. It's an advantage you already have advantage. I am advantage making a trap. Okay, um six. I mean you've made something.
Speaker 2:I can quest point it to a seven yeah, success with a twist, I mean you make a trap. There's just some drawback to it. The drawback is that.
Speaker 1:I. The drawback is that I made the trap, but I've got the cuff of my sleeve stuck in it. Wow, you just can't get out of the way of the trap. I mean, on the one hand, it's a brilliant lure and it's going to. All right, galen yeah, I go after he does okay all right. Volmar attacks the ship right into the trap um yeah, I'm just listening to chat earlier because, um, james is screaming and he's critically hits.
Speaker 2:Riley, riley, you are critically hit I'm going down.
Speaker 1:That's out hard today. Have you started hard yet? No, I'm gonna do it right now, okay it's once per session now. Is that what? We changed it to yes.
Speaker 2:I think you have to roll.
Speaker 1:Getting some background games.
Speaker 2:It's only six dread, so it's not like catastrophic. We're an hour and a half we're still quiet. What're an hour and a half Like? We're still quiet.
Speaker 1:What am I rolling? Yeah, what am I rolling. Can you hear me?
Speaker 2:Stoutheart, we can hear you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, stoutheart, I don't Six. Stuttgart Six.
Speaker 2:I mean, I think it would be Vitality Seven or Metal maybe six.
Speaker 1:I mean, I think it would be vitality seven or metal, maybe sorry, metal also seven okay, so I think it works um um, his dpd does have. Beth calling it out?
Speaker 2:Yeah, Heidi's pretty loud on the call. This is D and D. How does it make it hurts? This is land of EMR PG.
Speaker 1:This is land of me, it's L.
Speaker 2:O E james, I don't. I don't know if you are understanding what we say, but we can hear heidi every.
Speaker 1:I know I'm trying to it's okay, it adds flavor to this. So actually this happens in game no, it happens in game um. We hear a really awkward voice from the sky saying that we're just playing a game and we're all like our characters. Just look around like what.
Speaker 2:Beth, we're all filled with anger because D&D is just like calling something Kleenex. You know it's like Wow.
Speaker 1:It's a brand that and no calling something Kleenex. You know it's like Wow, it's a brand that, and no one respects Kleenex, of course.
Speaker 2:You know, once we start doing that, then it just becomes everything is D&D we're landing when does it end? Alright. So, James, you've been smashed, but you've trapped the Hand of Volnar.
Speaker 1:I am in a bad situation. I don't know how I'm going to hand Volnar.
Speaker 2:Well, you have this plan.
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, you have this plan. Um, yeah, I mean I'm gonna try to uh pull the ship and bring the ship out into the sludge, um, and I I'm gonna ride up and sweeping strike the guys so maybe I can hit it multiple body parts when I sweeping strike him to kind of maybe start separating the gelatinous goo okay face pinches.
Speaker 1:Thank you, beth. With the power of Beth's face pinches, I roll an eye. Sweeping strike works. With the power of Beth's face pinches, I roll a nine. Sweeping strike works. I don't know if you want to have him counterattack me, but I'm going to be able to hit. Let me see how many body parts I can hit Four creatures, or whatever you want to call it. Four segments of a giant. Or is this a slippery slope and you don't want to use sweeping strike for this?
Speaker 1:uh I will settle for a regular attack too. I'm just gonna be damaging him regardless sweeping strike what? I gotta look at it. Yeah, once per combat you can attack 1d4 plus one adversaries within close range, considering he's made up of multiple adversaries and is a giant dealie bobber, have we?
Speaker 2:been doing where, like, if you counter attack, all of them counter attack you, or have you just been mostly killing things in one hit?
Speaker 1:I've been mostly killing things in one hit. Thank you, yes yeah. I'm okay with getting pummeled by that many creatures all right let's see if this, let's see if this pays off 10 damage or 10 dread.
Speaker 2:I will say that is enough to slice off his goo legs.
Speaker 1:His goo legs. You just hear Galen with his donkey ears going aha. It's like a single goo leg is still standing like a giant jello pillar and it just falls to the ground and splashes.
Speaker 2:Yeah, part of that was the crab rack. Who's now just like?
Speaker 1:More like I stand above him.
Speaker 2:I say more like crab Rangoon, you know, let's go to the next round where, uh riley, you're enacting your plan and pulling the boat like driving the boat inward, pulling like going crazy.
Speaker 1:I'm like richard dreyfus and jaws, just like man yeah trying to pull this guy into the sludge and melt him. You're like Richard Dreyfuss in what About Bob?
Speaker 2:What about Bob Make? Another might check Power of Dreyfuss. Power of Dreyfuss.
Speaker 1:This compels you. Bernard got my hand, all right. I mean, you know, seven, seven.
Speaker 2:Nice, I mean, this is sailing, so you can roll the van.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh Eight.
Speaker 2:Oh, wait, wait, wait.
Speaker 1:Nine, I use a quest point, oh nice.
Speaker 2:Alright, the boat careens, dragging Volnar in headfirst. There's quite a bit of thrashing. Both of you will be splashed.
Speaker 1:But this is the demise of.
Speaker 2:Volnar, oh my gosh.
Speaker 1:Let's see how Volnar what benefits Volnar gifts us in his final throws. Oh my gosh. Let's see how Volnar what benefits Volnar gifts us in his final throws. Oh my god, benefits yeah.
Speaker 2:I rolled my Vagela.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's a seven for me. Okay, so it's temporary again, james. That would not be a temporary.
Speaker 2:What is minus three is minus three are you minus three or minus two?
Speaker 1:I'm minus two. You're minus three, I'm plus one, so it's a six and okay. Oh yeah, I'm plus one also, but that's an eight. I accept my. I accept my gifts. I rolled a 61, uh rolling, rolling, rolling.
Speaker 2:What this is funny. 131. All of your facial blemishes migrate to a spot on your back like my scar. My scar is gone so you have no penalty to charisma for that but no benefit to intimidate either, it's true so, but this is temporary. Yeah, and we'll discuss how temporary, like what that means.
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay, let me. I'll make a note of this.
Speaker 2:I'll make a note of it. 131. Asymmetry Everything you have two of of, you now have one of you have one arm left or right side oh my god, that's a horrible mutation.
Speaker 1:Oh my god oh my god what this is temporary though this is temporary. Oh my god. What this is. Temporary though this is temporary, you're just half the shrimp you used to be. Oh my god, that is horrifying this is my worst fear. One eye, half your teeth, one nostril, let's see if you're all left or all right the only eye I have left is a green ooze, one that's wandering, oh my god.
Speaker 2:Riley does not look good.
Speaker 1:I'm just quivering on the ground like. Kaelin, kill me. Wait, wait, you gotta roll to see what side it is. This is the worst thing that could ever happen to any character. This is why no one likes playing with these chaotic rules. I love it. It's so weird. I start gently like kind of like soothing Riley. I'm like it's okay, it'll get better. It's not so bad, don't worry about it, you're okay Help me, you're making more, I just think about the dude in the fly. Help me oh gosh.
Speaker 1:You have to roll to see if it's left or right. Alright what do I roll?
Speaker 2:and then we'll put a pinhole.
Speaker 1:Yeah, or a flat seam it's left. I hate to say it, riley, looks like you're not going to be alright after all. No, he had that in the can. He was waiting for it to be left. I just been sitting on it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I throw up ooze onto his shoes, I get another mutation. It becomes a vicious cycle Recognizable as sentient beings.
Speaker 2:Yeah, oh, my God.
Speaker 1:River watch come and it's just like ooze on a ship. They assume that we died. Yeah, horribly well, that was amazing. We, we, uh, at some point, I'm gonna I'm my one like wandering green eye, I'm gonna like, look at winston, be like you're. The munchkin in me is curious if we can go back to the cave and look for treasure.
Speaker 2:I think I want to end it right here yeah, no, totally fine the cave is filled with toxic waste, but yeah, that's something that we can figure out. Oh man, that's funny.
Speaker 1:Probably have to leave Riley on the ship. I strap her to my back, bundled in like a towel yeah, I absolutely do. I'm carrying you on my chest like Quado or something great. I'm carrying you on my chest like Quado or something Quade well, land of Eem there you go.
Speaker 2:Classic Land of Eem. Thanks for hanging out, beth yeah, for sure awesome holy cats. I thought it was fun. Yeah, thanks for hanging with us. Yeah, for sure. Awesome Holy cats. Let's do some quick XP. And then you know how do you guys think we should handle the mutations? Like, how long should they last? I think maybe 1D force.
Speaker 1:Oh, should they last? I think maybe 1D4. Oh no, riley's is so debilitating that he was going to say D4 sessions. I was going to say that, but I don't know. D4 minus 1, sessions minimum 1? So it would just be a d3 sessions, one session. I mean, I can find a way to to exist. I think, uh, I don't know, what do you? What do you think? Ben, yeah, yeah, days, maybe, like, maybe it's days like a d4 days?
Speaker 2:yeah, that could be fun if we're traveling. What do you think, ben? Yeah, days maybe.
Speaker 1:Maybe it's days like a D4 days.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that could be fun If we're traveling.
Speaker 1:We can you know, maybe.
Speaker 2:D6 days.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Yeah, that's good, oh boy, here we go. It could last until we wash ourselves off in clean water. There's none of that. Nope Two.
Speaker 2:Two days. I'll take that.
Speaker 1:I should roll mine, then I'll take two days. I will take the maximum days. Oh no, I see no problems with this. I want to keep this for six days. I'm just going to start asking to call him Thunder.
Speaker 2:So, XP, you completed a quest or objective which was stop Volnar Yep. You solved a problem creatively, I think in all of that.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah.
Speaker 2:Explored a new location. The spill Countered a new creature, giant. Among other things, got a hundred of them yeah, got a hundred other creatures. Significant encounter with an NPC Winston, that's 5 XP. Whatever personal individual ideals, flaws, I went head-on into danger. And you saved somebody, George.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I rescued someone from danger. Did we stand our ground against difficult odds?
Speaker 2:You did, I think so.
Speaker 1:I suppose yeah, so that's 2 XP. I didn't fumble at the wrong time because I used a roll to do it. Yeah yeah, I was going to say destroy something indiscriminately, but that was very discriminant in what I was trying to destroy, like the ceiling of the cave. So, and then muscle through a delicate situation. I don't think that really applies. There is no nothing delicate about this situation, you know. Um, so sorry, Ben. The base XP was how many? Five, five, Okay, so seven.
Speaker 2:Nice, this is a profitable adventure All right. Well, thanks everybody for joining us on this long quest.
Speaker 1:Indeed. Yeah, this was kind of a long one. This was epic. And Beth when we say everyone.
Speaker 2:there are some people on other platforms watching, Okay.
Speaker 1:I'm watching as currently on Twitch yeah Beth, just texted me. She didn't want the mocking to be on public record.
Speaker 2:No, no, she was just saying it was really funny and she's glad her phone sent her a strange nudge that it was happening nice, it's great well, us too.
Speaker 1:Um sorry, I was real quick. Sorry if the message said that we are streaming outriders and the pyromancer class, because that was not true. It was a holdover from other streams I've done on the channel.
Speaker 2:No, this is Facebook.
Speaker 1:Facebook, oh Facebook, okay, good, because I was going to say Twitch definitely might have sent a slightly weird message. People are watching on Twitch, facebook and YouTube simultaneously generally Simultaneous view in baby. And we do it every Saturday at 11.
Speaker 2:So, alright, you can download this game at DriveThruRPG, landoveemrpg. It's good stuff. You can go to LandoVeem actually you know what?
Speaker 1:go to LandoVeemcom you can get it at LandoVeemcom. If you go to LandoVeemcom slash Kickstarter, you can get it put on the list for notifications for when the full game goes to Kickstarter later this year.
Speaker 2:So all of this wackiness that we did today will be in the Kickstarter.
Speaker 1:Including Volnar Especially.
Speaker 2:Volnar Winston is also in the sandbox. Yep, alright, until next week.
Speaker 1:All right.
Speaker 2:Take it easy everybody.
Speaker 1:Thanks y'all All right, Bye-bye now Bye-bye.
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