Land of Eem: Actual Play
Join Ben Costa, James Parks, and George Higgins as they play the Land of Eem tabletop roleplaying game, inspired by the series of fantasy books: Dungeoneer Adventures and Rickety Stitch and the Gelatinous Goo.
Ben Costa and James Parks are the creators of Dungeoneer Adventures, Rickety Stitch and the Gelatinous Goo, and the tabletop roleplaying game, Land of Eem. They have been friends since the 2nd grade, and love making stuff together.
Lovers of fantasy, they strive to craft tales that celebrate the adventures of unlikely heroes. Ben and James grew up playing tabletop roleplaying games, creating countless characters and collaborative worlds with our pals, a pastime that paved the way for their creative careers, as authors and illustrators.
Land of Eem is a tabletop roleplaying published in partnership with indie game publisher, Exalted Funeral. and is about adventurers exploring and discovering the remnants of a forgotten better age. Described as The Lord of the Rings meets The Muppets, players portray lore-seeking travelers, fortune-seeking pioneers, and adventure-seeking heroes in a time devoid of them. But for all its post-apocalyptic doom and gloom, Land of Eem is tonally quite lighthearted and droll.
Dungeoneer Adventures is a fun, middle-grade fantasy adventure series from Simon & Schuster, about the only human kid attending the adventure school, Dungeoneer Academy. The books are packed with illustrations and available at Target, Barnes & Noble, and Amazon, or you can ask for them wherever books are sold.
Rickety Stitch and the Gelatinous Goo is a fun YA graphic novel series from Random House, about a skeleton bard and his best friend on an epic quest to discover who he was when he was alive. The books are available through Exalted Funeral or online at Amazon, and you can ask for them wherever books are sold.
For more visit:
https://landofeem.com
Land of Eem: Actual Play
Land of Eem: Fantasy Actual Play S02E17 | Mitch and the Mutants
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What if the key to escaping a collapsing cave lies in a pocket-sized hang glider? Join Ben Costa and James Parks—creators of Rickety Stitch and the Gelatinous Goo and Dungeoneer Adventures—alongside lead playtester and close friend George Higgins, as they navigate toxic wastelands, bizarre mutations, and city intrigue in this thrilling episode of the Land of Eem TTRPG, played in the Mucklands Campaign Sandbox Setting and published by Exalted Funeral.
Fresh from their victory over Volnar, our adventurers face the practical and hilarious challenges of their altered forms—complete with defensive ridges and donkey ears. Meet new companions, Mitch the gelatinous goo and Gabe the mung-fairy hybrid, as the team plans their next treasure hunt in Volnar’s cave.
The action ramps up as Galen embarks on a daring treasure retrieval, balancing on makeshift rafts in a sludge-filled cave while dodging danger at every turn. With pop culture quips and strategic debates, the group rolls for new loot, including a great club and master-crafted satchel, and a collapsible pocket hang glider sparks hope amid the chaos of cave instability.
The journey takes a heartfelt turn as Galen supports Rylee through a painful regrowth process, exploring themes of transformation and resilience. From quick-thinking negotiations to perilous encounters in Marshgate, including monstrous scarecrows and trade dealings, the adventure blends humor, tension, and emotional depth.
Perfect for fans of Fantasy Actual Play, Collaborative Storytelling RPGs, Rules-Light Indie RPGs, and the vibrant TTRPG community, this episode is an unforgettable rollercoaster ride through a world where anything can happen.
Download the Land of Eem Quickstart Guide for FREE, and join the adventure today!
https://linktr.ee/landofeem
Hey, hey.
Speaker 2:Hello, hello, hey, how are y'all doing?
Speaker 3:Welcome to Land of Eam.
Speaker 2:What in the heck is George rolling?
Speaker 1:I was rolling lots of dice 4,000 DH. I wanted to get all the ones out and I don't think it worked, Just averaged them back in. I was going to open the stream.
Speaker 2:That's a lot of damage, though it would be a lot of damage.
Speaker 1:Though it would be a lot of damage. I was gonna open the stream by playing the sax solo from baker street to surprise you guys, but I'm so terrified of a copyright strike that I didn't do it yeah, is this really four thousand seem? Doesn't it seem less? Yeah, I feel gypped. I wonder if it maxes out at a I don't know a thousand? Well, it's five, five rows, five per row. I'm not going to sit here and count these. Just assume One two three Rolling.
Speaker 1:I really, I really think it's only a hundred times five, it's probably like 500.
Speaker 2:Rolling For that, for oh five, it's probably like 500 rolling ad for about 40.
Speaker 3:Oh, let's, uh, let's, jump into the game here oh that is the game, that is the game goodness gracious, let's jump into the game uh, this is the 17th episode of season two and you guys are in the spill, which is a horrible toxic waste, toxic waste, a hex full of toxic waste smelly and the water's dangerous last time you conquered volnar, the general who was terrorizing the area, stealing people and mutating them for an army.
Speaker 1:Let's take a second and review our mutations. I now have ridges that give me plus one block. I have donkey ears that may actually counteract my hearing loss penalty to perception, and all of my scars have migrated to a central spot on my back.
Speaker 2:I, on the other hand, am a kind of a lopsided amalgamation homunculus creature that can't walk. I can maybe hop around, or I don't know. Help me, I get a wheelbarrow and I just push you around.
Speaker 3:Yeah, probably more suited to be Yoda in a backpack.
Speaker 2:Although my mutation is only lasting two days.
Speaker 1:Yeah, ben, how long do mine last? These are all temporary, did I have. Was I supposed to roll for that?
Speaker 3:I thought you did.
Speaker 1:I probably did. I'm going to give myself the maximum amount of time on these.
Speaker 3:That's because.
Speaker 1:I love being mutated.
Speaker 3:I think that's what happens.
Speaker 2:Mutations. There's so many mutations.
Speaker 3:Because you were super excited about it.
Speaker 1:If I was super excited, that means it was a longer period of time.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Georgie likes the mutations.
Speaker 1:I love chaos.
Speaker 3:I am an agent of chaos because my day-to-day life must be organized well, uh, you guys have talked about going into back into his cave to get treasure, because you can't really measure the pleasure that you guys get from treasure it's immeasurable.
Speaker 1:It's immeasurable, but it's immeasurable. But very pleasurable. Ben, let me ask you this real quick Did Claudia and the lizard mutate at all?
Speaker 2:I don't think so. We joked that they combined into one creature.
Speaker 1:Wait, wait, wait. I think it'd be. Feeding ideas into the jam, let's roll, let's see what happens. I love the idea that they become like slightly chimeric in nature yeah, it's like a walking gun yeah, basically it's already like that, but it just becomes more like that now they eat double the rations but do they do more damage?
Speaker 2:I will I will.
Speaker 1:Okay, that's fine, that's also, but they're a mobile weapons platform, so excited all right, um you also have this like fairy mung creature, oh my gosh, that's right um fairy mung creature we does it have a name? Oh, can we does it? Does it talk with us at all? Right, so it's just like a mung thing with a fairy. It's terrifying, but it loves us. Yeah, that's. It caused the other mutation on my leg because it like grappled onto me.
Speaker 1:That's right, that's right, you can't talk to it, but I think you would find that mitch the gelatinous gelatinous goo um, it seems to be like they're like two angry dogs wait, like if they're angry at each other or they're just angry in general, like the angry bevers.
Speaker 3:They're like dogs that don't get along.
Speaker 2:Oh, they have not yet determined which one is the dominant one, and until that happens, they're a little bit honest.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean, let's be real, we love Mitch, yeah, like that's just.
Speaker 2:In fact, mitch is the only way that I'm able to exist right now. He's like a caregiver. I'm kind of just I'm propped up on him.
Speaker 1:Every once in a while you slowly like sink into him and dissolve a little bit.
Speaker 2:And you're like ow, ow, ow, Frustratingly trying to teach him how to tinker crutches for myself.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you just keep getting chopsticks over and over Mitch hand me the hydro spanners. Amazing. What should we call this thing? Gabe? Okay, Gabe. We will name you Gabe.
Speaker 2:Sorry, that just came out of me. It's no fun.
Speaker 1:So Mitch the gelatinous goo versus the mung fairy creature is it?
Speaker 2:two is it? Are they like one brain or that's are they like?
Speaker 1:I'm saying the mung creatures have a brain. Feels like a stretch.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I mean it's it's hard to tell the the fairy creature. The fairy who's now like, sort of mutated and not completely recognizable as a fairy lives. The fairy who's now sort of mutated and not completely recognizable as a fairy lives in the top portion of the body where you would imagine there would be a head. But you know, mungs don't really have heads. It does have like a dripping slimy mouth, Like in the center of its body. Sounds about right, a dripping slimy mouth.
Speaker 1:Like in the center. Sounds about right. I knew a guy like that in high school.
Speaker 3:Yeah totally.
Speaker 1:So we got okay cool. So I guess I'll try to take care of Gabe and we might end up creating another monster, Zoni, and Buck also now has fangs.
Speaker 2:That's right. That's right. But like a week we'll all be normal again.
Speaker 1:I don't know if Zoni M Buck's ever going back. He's tasted flesh.
Speaker 2:He's already drinking the toxic waste.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:So let me ask you do you want to risk going back into the cave?
Speaker 2:yeah, because it's not, yeah, the promise of treasure yeah, yeah, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1:The answer is is yes. I'd like to risk going back in the cave, um do you both want to risk it? Or is it just galen.
Speaker 2:I think, uh, riley is gonna bow. I think Riley is going to bow out on this one. Yeah, she's like she looks like a pretzel.
Speaker 1:You're going to have to figure out how to save me once I get trapped in there. It's going to be amazing.
Speaker 2:All right.
Speaker 1:Galen says wait, wait here. I got to make sure this is worth our while.
Speaker 3:I mean, there must be some stuff back there we can use yeah, it's a matter of first, you know, getting to the cave, which is you have to make an athletics check, hopping over pools of waste Oof.
Speaker 1:that's one quest point used already. An inauspicious start, but maybe I'm saving the good rolls for later.
Speaker 2:I use a quest point to make it easy. You have to look at it that way.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I do, it is done. I am looking at it that way.
Speaker 3:Okay, you almost slip in. Whoa way. Okay you, uh, you almost slip in it. Whoa yeah. But you make your way to the cave and you see that the whole floor of the cave is covered in waste because of you know what we yeah, we did.
Speaker 1:Yeah, um, and theoretically I'd have to figure out a way to get past this waste, to get to whatever may be lurking for us. I'd like to. Ooh, I don't know, I should have come. No, I was going to say, like I'm going to inspect, yeah, it's fine.
Speaker 2:I just expected you to roll in there. I didn't think it'd be.
Speaker 1:No, it's never that easy. What I can do is I'd like to go kind of on the roof of the cave and, based on my knowledge of where things were, like the caverns and the entry tunnel and everything kind of look for where it would be above the chambers inside the cave and then use Discerning Eye to create maybe a crack or an opening through which I could slip to get into the cave.
Speaker 3:Well, if you recall, the cave is sort of below sea level. Oh, so the whole is sort of below sea level.
Speaker 1:Oh, so the whole thing's going to be flooded.
Speaker 3:Well. I mean you can't really get on the roof is what I mean.
Speaker 1:Okay, because it went underneath, I see. I see that's fair. Is there a door like in the hit movie Titanic, which I could sail into it? Now Let me see if is. Are there any? Is there any like like materials around that? I think I could like push my like. I don't know, this is, this is a tough call, like it's just it's spill. There's not much you can do about it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you could like search for.
Speaker 1:I mean, yeah, you could like search for um. I mean, I think that's what I do. I would a large piece of wood or something yeah, I would search for something that might be able to support my weight as I go in to retrieve the treasure seems like a terrible idea. I look for flotsam, not jetsam, my favorite chapters.
Speaker 3:You still have an or, or did you let that go a long time ago?
Speaker 1:oh, um, I'm fairly certain I let that. Well, yeah, galen starts with that, but it's been like 40 quests so no, I'm pretty sure I broke that over someone or did something ridiculous with it, or it is unlikely I'd have to scavenge a pole to pull through my way through, or an ore as well as, um, some kind of piece of wood. Uh, let me see if I have any abilities, because I don't want, I don't want to use my tortoise in this bill. That's terrible.
Speaker 3:To just subject her to you can make a search check to these things that you want to do no, I'm just gonna keep talking about it. Um, let's see, there we go, I search, yuppie okay, uh, you find a suitable piece of uh, lumber wood and I'll say, you also find something you can paddle with so I'm not without a paddle starring Dax Shepard and Seth Green wow gracious me oh yeah, we're getting a metaverse going today, baby alright.
Speaker 1:So that is the metaverse land of Eem metaverse going today, baby um all right. So that is the metaverse land of em metaverse, um, somewhere in the grimly wood, dax shepherd paddles the without a paddle cinematic universe. Yeah, um, all right so. So galen very, very timidly steps onto this floating detritus that he found and and is kind of pulling himself along, or oring himself along, into this cave mouth, hoping that he'll be able to come back out again.
Speaker 3:Yeah, sorry, sorry. Make another athletics check to see if, if you can paddle your way without dipping.
Speaker 1:I don't want to use all my quest points immediately. This will be with a twist, right.
Speaker 3:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1:Okay, maybe a bump in the road lose an item kind of deal. I think Okay, maybe like a bump in the road lose an item kind of deal, or I think well, you know. Mutation, yeah, mutation maybe.
Speaker 3:No, I'll ask you Do you want to use a quest point or not? I'm not going to tell you what the twist is going to be.
Speaker 1:No, I don't want to use a quest point.
Speaker 3:It's 11 17 all right, you kind of only have three quest points your, your little raft is sinking and you gotta jump to safety and it just like bubbles under.
Speaker 1:Mm-hmm. Blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop.
Speaker 3:You make it safely to. Basically, you search around and you found in Volnar's quarters he has a stash of stuff. The question is, what will you find usable? Because a lot of it is covered in sludge and toxic waste. So this is a mythic horde or, I'm sorry, an ancient horde, sorry.
Speaker 1:Still, I don't even know the difference anymore. They both sound amazing.
Speaker 3:I rolled some stuff up. Oh nice, Thank you for taking care of this ahead of time, you get six materials actually yeah running a land of being game can roll the horse and it makes it easier because there's yeah. Yeah, I didn't do it like completely, I just did a few rolls so we got six materials.
Speaker 1:I give those to James or to Riley, assuming I retrieve it all and I don't die in the process, you're going to get this stuff.
Speaker 3:And six mundane items.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 3:And you can roll five times. Three magnificent items.
Speaker 1:Okay, and you can roll five times.
Speaker 3:Uh, three magnificent items, or, sorry, get one magnificent item, okay, and you can roll for four things. So roll for. Do you want to?
Speaker 1:undo this.
Speaker 3:Uh, two of them are magic items. If you want to I don't know use things, mitch.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, it's okay. Yeah, it's fine, because isn't magic find related to your level?
Speaker 3:remind me, ben, please it's related to, like, the level of the challenge.
Speaker 1:So yeah, I'm gonna say this is like 80 okay, james, you want to roll two and I'll roll two. Sure, and to be clear, ben, you said is it that we're rolling for four magic items?
Speaker 3:No, no, so James is not there. I was just splitting up the rolls, your stats.
Speaker 2:Get started Georgie.
Speaker 1:Okay, so I'm going to roll 2D hundos, 15 and a 76. Okay, I don't believe I have any modifiers.
Speaker 3:And this was magic items. It's too magic, too magnificent.
Speaker 1:It was probably the I don't know magnificent items. Magnificence is less good than magic, correct?
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I can't remember is above or below 80, what we were hoping for below oh then magic no no, I said magnificent I didn't know. I was just like magnificent was the first thing that came to mind and I didn't want to like try to min max it like I usually do. I didn't want to be that guy.
Speaker 3:Min-maxing. Well, I'm just confused. You'd make it magic, I mean.
Speaker 1:Oh, okay, I'll take magic items.
Speaker 2:You're overloading Bryn's brain. You can't handle it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm trying to be. He's too used to me being devious.
Speaker 3:So I mean two more rolls Okay two more rolls.
Speaker 1:Oh sorry, yeah, I was going to have James, just to split it up 74 and 73. Look at those.
Speaker 3:Cool, so I didn't roll up stuff.
Speaker 1:I did not roll up stuff. That's fine. What do you need us to? Why does this one not have a bookmark bar? I got to download. I got to download the latest version of the beta rule book at drive through rpgcom, like you can too.
Speaker 2:Or land a beamcom. You can download it there too, also free free.
Speaker 3:I'll roll it Free. Roll a D 200 for the magic items.
Speaker 2:Oh sorry, a d200 for the magic items 61 and 63. Oops, I'm sorry, I rolled a normal roll 117 and 63.
Speaker 1:You said 2d200, Ben.
Speaker 3:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1:Yep 117 and 63.
Speaker 2:Close Close.
Speaker 1:Can you share your screen for these, or is it too much? Work me? Mm-hmm, just like I feel like it's always fun to see the tables these are in production tables oh, oh I look behind the scenes Secret tables.
Speaker 3:I can't even make out the words I mean. I don't want to show everything, because part of the game is not knowing exactly everything.
Speaker 1:Yeah, just throwing it out there, you know.
Speaker 3:We could do it for the other ones. Um, so you actually find? Uh a ghost.
Speaker 1:What Is the party? Is it like the party has grown?
Speaker 3:I we gain a ghost now, or kind of yes, yeah, there's a ghost of a welkin that appears when you're messing with some of these items. It just comes out.
Speaker 2:Like the Robin Williams genie Wow.
Speaker 3:Whoa Hello, I'm Philo Sim.
Speaker 2:My name is Philo.
Speaker 1:Hail Philo, I'm Galen Dundugle. You're looking a bit pale.
Speaker 3:Oh, what a funny joke.
Speaker 1:No, it was just a keen observation.
Speaker 3:I met an unfortunate demise at the hands of Volmar the Giant.
Speaker 1:I have good news for you we have avenged your spirit. You may I don't know what's the thing that ghosts do when their spirits have been avenged.
Speaker 3:Well, I don't know.
Speaker 1:I've never been a ghost before this is my first time I mean, I imagine it would be your last time as well. I don't know if a ghost can become a ghost of itself listen.
Speaker 3:Um, I found that I'm quite bound to this place, but I feel a kinship with you and I will bind myself to you forever.
Speaker 1:Do you accept, I accept. Galen stands up like this. He arms up and he's waiting for something to happen. He's like, no, our deal is concluded.
Speaker 3:I will tell you I'm a very learned Welkin.
Speaker 1:Ah, ghost of a learned Welkin, I say this is good. My friend and I are well, let's call it naive To many things in the land of Eam.
Speaker 3:Let me know. If you ever have a question about Anything related to history or lore. I well, I once was a scholar, you see.
Speaker 1:I say I'm going to make a lore. Check Ben to learn more about Cloudcap. It's a 12.
Speaker 3:Cloud cap is uh the ancestral home of the Welkin.
Speaker 1:Uh, I am far to the.
Speaker 3:North of here. It's not in the Mucklins, um, but they live atop a mountain where really only they can reach, because they can fly, actually. But you know that in recent years shrimp with their flying machines have established a great relationship with them traded.
Speaker 1:I thought you were going to say commenced bombing runs on their capital city. A great war, I thought you were going to say commenced bombing runs on their capital city A great war.
Speaker 3:I mean, that's probably what the goblins are planning.
Speaker 1:That's true. That's true With the shrimp technology they've stolen.
Speaker 3:Yes, I say, well, this will be a great boon and hopefully we can satisfy your desire to expand your knowledge of history and or lore as we journey through the Mucklins together and archaeology.
Speaker 3:You see, oh, I'm sorry, let me add that in to uh in your description history, archaeology see my, my great mistake was that, uh, I I'd done a lot of research, a lot of reading and I decided, you know, perhaps I should take it out into the field. Well, I wasn't really built for that sort of thing, and I guess you know the rest yes, you can buy this horrible giant.
Speaker 1:Ben, I'd like to make a perception check. Was this guy mutated at all?
Speaker 3:He doesn't look mutated.
Speaker 1:This is ghost though right. That'd be kind of grim. Well, I mean, I don't know right, Like if you got mutated and you were ghostified, wouldn't you become a ghost mutant? I say, were you experimented on by this foul creature?
Speaker 3:Oh, no, no, he smushed me.
Speaker 1:Oh.
Speaker 3:He didn't like my mouth Talking all the time, you see.
Speaker 1:Immediately regretting being bound to this guy.
Speaker 3:I suppose there was a better fate than some of those poor souls.
Speaker 1:What's this? Gabe covers its ears. Was it Gabe? Yeah, gabe is with me, oh.
Speaker 3:Yes, you should probably put that to sleep.
Speaker 1:No, not in front of the kid. Ah man, oh my God, I love it. Ah man, oh my God, I love it. I've been thinking it too. Galen shrugs and says I don't know. There's been a lot of death and sadness in these caves.
Speaker 3:Yes, well, I see you have a few more things to sift through here yes, I see.
Speaker 1:One last thing, philo, do you know how to get out of here? Were there any secret passages or doors out of Volnar's chamber?
Speaker 3:I don't know. You seem to have found something there. You look at this little pocket-sized contraption.
Speaker 1:Hmm, I hold it up and examine it.
Speaker 3:Make a lore check.
Speaker 1:We make competing lore checks 12 again.
Speaker 3:This is a collapsible pocket hang glider. What?
Speaker 2:That's amazing.
Speaker 1:I love it.
Speaker 2:That is the greatest thing I've ever heard.
Speaker 1:Well, it's going to be amazing for Riley, because she's always wanted to fly again.
Speaker 2:Pursuing flight yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I say I know just the shrimp to give this to, and I'm thinking of someone else besides Riley.
Speaker 3:Well, perhaps you could use that for your way out.
Speaker 1:I say perhaps, indeed, if we can find a high enough place to launch from, that's good, that's good. Let me sift through the rest of this stuff. Philo, we'll see if we can't get out of here. It's good to have you on our side.
Speaker 3:On which side is that? May I ask?
Speaker 1:uh, I'm galen and riley's my compatriot what is your cause? Uh, long drawn out pause while galen really scratches his head to think and he goes and he briefly recaps, like how they're trying to rebuild the crack or build a bridge in the crack. They're trying to, you know, get to Terror Island to hopefully die All the things that. No, not that. How we're trying to kind of stick it to the corporation and stop Justina Brink from deforesting the Grimley wood. I give him the brief rundown.
Speaker 2:Sarpathy.
Speaker 1:Yes, oh, my good Lord Sarpathy.
Speaker 3:How could I forget? It's just there's. How can you forget your personal quest?
Speaker 1:That is like literally my personal quest Same.
Speaker 3:Yeah, maybe, maybe it doesn't matter to you anymore, galen yeah, well, no it's.
Speaker 1:It's just like competing priorities, right like grimly wood.
Speaker 3:Is imminent serpathy or perpetual, it seems well, uh, let's see what you got here. Um sorry, uh rolls. Sorry, what were your rolls, james?
Speaker 1:61 and 60. That makes it easy to look up. Or was it the 74 and 73? I don't know. There was two D100s.
Speaker 2:No, I rolled another. I rolled two D100s, instead of ignore that because you rolled a D200.
Speaker 3:Oh, oh, so you never successfully. I didn't roll, you never successfully rolled.
Speaker 2:2d200s, 2d200s 1d200 is what I need to roll right 2d200s, 2d200s, 2d200s.
Speaker 1:Slash roll space 2D200. 2d200.
Speaker 2:104 and 74.
Speaker 1:2D100. 2d100.
Speaker 3:Anyone that doesn't know A great club.
Speaker 1:This isn't just a good club, it's a great club.
Speaker 3:And a satchel.
Speaker 1:I put everything in the satchel and these are just. These are magnificent. What does magnificent mean, Ben?
Speaker 3:It means it has one of these traits that makes it gooder than the rest.
Speaker 1:Gotta roll some d12s, perhaps. Yeah, roll d12 and d28. That makes it gooder than the rest. Got to roll some d12s, perhaps.
Speaker 3:Yeah, roll d12 and d8.
Speaker 1:Go for it, James. Give me that yum yum satchel.
Speaker 2:Oops, that's a d12.
Speaker 1:That was a d10.
Speaker 2:Oh my god, I'm sorry guys. D8, 8 and D12, 1.
Speaker 3:All right, this is a grim grade club. Once per session, gain advantage on an intimidate check. Oh Now, george. Yes, that's something that you would have to be carrying. It's not like something that you could just have in your inventory.
Speaker 1:right, right, right could it ever be construed, this great club, as a walking stick perhaps?
Speaker 2:it's like a giant, big old club, not that big like a giant, big old club, not that big but like like a hercules club hercules, hercules, hercules.
Speaker 1:A little unwieldy, okay, I might whittle it down then it won't be intimidating anymore.
Speaker 3:Um, all right, in the satchel we we rolled an eight on it.
Speaker 1:It's a mastercrafted satchel. We rolled an 8 on it it's a master crafted satchel.
Speaker 3:You know what did we change these?
Speaker 2:we did, we did change these everything's different now, no, it's not that different. Okay, I think we reduced it to 6 is different now.
Speaker 3:No, it's not that different. Okay, I think we reduced it to six, so you get plus one to a relevant skill check when using this item for subtle purposes.
Speaker 2:Maybe that means plus one slot for this or something yeah, or or storage check, anti-thieving check.
Speaker 1:I have a lucky rucksack too. I mean it's. I think it might be the same idea. Where'd that thing go? Yeah, can reroll failed roles associated with a rucksack.
Speaker 3:So the riley will get a uh, mastercraft satchel um, I say they're less good when it's like a holding device, when it's not yeah, yeah, I mean, but that's the joy of the random systems.
Speaker 1:Right, it is what it is. Yeah, I, uh, I quickly gather up the stuff. I feel a little rumble in the caves, reminding me that it is probably not completely stable and safe to be in here. I set about looking for a way to hang glide out of here.
Speaker 2:Okay, keep gliding.
Speaker 1:There was nothing else, correct, ben, that was it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I mean there's other stuff, but what you could probably roll it, that's fine.
Speaker 1:What should I roll?
Speaker 3:It was six mundane items.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, I'll take care of that as we go. I'll take care of that like as we go.
Speaker 3:I can take care of that so, um, yeah, how do you want to go about this to get out of here?
Speaker 1:uh, so all right. Well, is there any way to get to like? Is there any like ceiling escape hatch? I know that we're mostly under the spill, but I'm wondering how to use this hang glider to escape. I know that it doesn't necessarily have to be what I use, but I'd like to search for like any passages that go up. Anything like that, like a ladder is escape ladders. This place is, uh, you know, been fire inspected, so they have to have escape ladders every 30 feet I mean if you had an ability this cave is built to coach.
Speaker 1:I do, I do, I do, but well, it'd be a stretch. Um, it would be along the lines of discerning eye to create a weakness or vulnerability and something, someone or something within the line of sight for narrative purposes. Um, I always feel weird about using that to create like escape stuff, because it's not really a weakness or vulnerability. I guess I would have to bust out of somewhere use the great club.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I just I think. I think the issue is it's just that we're under under, I'm under the spill and anything I bash down is probably going to bring down more ooze on top of me is yeah, um, all right, well, I'll try to use that, ben, let's see what we can do to create a weakness or vulnerability. Um wow, would it be really really dumb to say that it's a weakness in the overall structure of the cave for it to have a secret backdoor?
Speaker 1:like exactly exactly this cave has only one weakness a small air duct yeah, a small air duct, which is how they got air in the cave in the first place. I mean, we're doing it, man it's a stretch. That's I mean. It's all I got. I don't have other abilities. I rely on Riley largely for a lot of those.
Speaker 3:Well, what makes more sense to me is like a structural weakness as opposed to like a security weakness.
Speaker 1:Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no no.
Speaker 2:I found this key card. I can get anywhere in the game.
Speaker 1:That's fine. No, I think that the structural weakness would be as simple as a ray of sunlight shining in through a hole, implying that there's nothing above no spill above a certain area of the cave.
Speaker 3:True that and then I could probably dig or smash my way out of there.
Speaker 1:All right, that's my usual MO is to smash my way out of things. So I perceive Gorg is smashed. Oh no, no, it's not so. It's not so. It was a candle off in the distance. My character dies here. I'm trapped forever. I'll search around for maybe another thing I can float out on.
Speaker 3:I'll say that it's the way I got in Failure, with a plus Maybe the failure with a plus, maybe the failure.
Speaker 1:What you're perceiving is like, uh, an air current, like a hole and like air is coming out of it okay, so maybe I will still blindly smash my way through the wall and see if I get into another chamber.
Speaker 3:No, no, no, it's not like a weakness.
Speaker 1:It's just, air is coming out of it. Air is coming out of a hole.
Speaker 3:Does it?
Speaker 2:smell like fresh air.
Speaker 3:No, no, it's definitely not, but it's a gust of air.
Speaker 1:I don't know.
Speaker 2:It's straight up like ogre farts.
Speaker 1:Yeah, there's something else in here with me farting. I don't know what to do with that information. Like what is? How does that look? Like? What does the gust of air look like, in the sense of like, where is it coming from?
Speaker 3:Irv the gust of air. Look like, in the sense of like, where is it coming? From or there you you know you thought you saw a hole to the outside world, but it's just like a hole that's spewing air out of it from the ceiling okay, is this something I think I can get to?
Speaker 1:um like to try and climb out of or climb into and get lodged in forever yeah, just to be clear.
Speaker 3:Like the failure means, this is not an exit yeah, right, it's just.
Speaker 2:It gives me hope, yeah just riley's mutated for two days.
Speaker 1:You know what, though, like maybe that's enough to help the pocket hang glider, gain some momentum and help me sail out of here that's what. I was yeah. Why am I so dumb sometimes?
Speaker 2:well, cause like the way I was perceiving it. I didn't want to just like feed you solutions?
Speaker 3:no, you have to feed me to it just like.
Speaker 1:Seemed very like, I do it. Um so, galen, after much pondering, and uh, philo rolling his welcome eyes multiple times, uh, finally makes the connection solution himself like yeah yeah, but he didn't want to be like. He's alienated his previous like friends by always feeding them the answers. So he he wanted to give him like, gave Galen a chance.
Speaker 2:I want to see that you're doing well yeah, yes.
Speaker 1:So I will grab the hang glider and throw Gabe on my back and try to get out of here, alright, but I will fail my athletics check and we will die in the process.
Speaker 3:I don't know. This is athletics. What is this like? Using a hang glider? Is that athletics?
Speaker 1:um, I certainly hope it's not nimbleness I guess it's athletics then or is it wilderness?
Speaker 2:that's if it's athletics, I'm gonna have to pump my athletics because I can't I can't kill myself on there, well if it's nimbleness, it's athletics. I'm gonna have to pump my athletics because I can't. I can't kill myself on there.
Speaker 1:Well, if it's nimbleness, it's nimbleness. Ben, that's fine.
Speaker 3:Like you do what it is like but I'm just asking what does it take to use a hang glider?
Speaker 1:oh uh. Strength and cunning, I mean first thing we're going to teach you in hang gliding class, class is, you have to have strength and cunning and cunning. You've got to feel the air currents as they move below you.
Speaker 2:I think nimbleness or athletics makes sense, though, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yes, not going to matter, because we're about to nosedive right into these Eleven, okay, eleven.
Speaker 3:Cool, Okay. You gracefully lead the hang glider on this hot, putrid waft of air.
Speaker 1:You get pretty close to skimming the top, but you make it all in one piece and um as we're skimming, the ooze Gabe reaches down with one of its oozy tendrils and like leaves a trail and the ooze is awake. It's having the time of its life.
Speaker 3:Yeah, the, the fairy portion of Gabe, it's hard to differentiate two people. Seems to like it's like tra-la-lying doing this.
Speaker 1:Tra-la-la-la.
Speaker 3:Tra-la-la you make it back to. Let's just fast forward because it's been 45 minutes.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, james and Paul through.
Speaker 3:Uh, let's just fast forward because it's been 45 minutes.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, james involved hey, riley rolled a couple things I feel involved yeah, you know riley's not there, but I'm able to witness the story and interject with andre, the giant memes memes Back at the ship.
Speaker 3:You've got a big crew now. You've got Lars the Dratch. You've got this new Blorp or Mung. You've got Phylo Sim. Phylo Sim is not going to just be omnipresent, you'll have to call on him.
Speaker 1:I call on him every day when I wake up and I expect him to be around all the time To make you ghost eggs. Yeah, I'm so sad we no longer have Mindy Plasterpot or Crazy Ernie or Jailor the Red Axe. All these people have left us. We have Lucas the Donkey Mitch, the Gelatinous Goo, gabe the Monk Fairy Creature, and Zoanambach and Claudia the Lizard and Philo. And Philo it's amazing and Lars. It's Lars.
Speaker 2:Lars the Rachel.
Speaker 1:Dratch yeah.
Speaker 2:And Piabody yeah.
Speaker 1:Piabody, the Rachel Dratch, yeah, and Piabody.
Speaker 3:Yeah, piabody the getaway driver.
Speaker 1:Speaking of Piabody, he's like can we get out of this horrible place yet, yes, please.
Speaker 3:All right, We'll do it. My ship is.
Speaker 1:I mean, it's being corroded as we speak. Yeah, I'm sorry about that buddy, like we'll make it up to you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we will I say spitting the straw that's hanging from my mouth because I'm drinking soup that way now.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Does that mean more cash?
Speaker 1:We'll see, that's how I'm going to do more cash. We'll see well, we certainly got stuff we could trade him it's true, I'm gonna give him some of this mundane junk here in a second.
Speaker 2:Let me roll it up here's some mundane junk for you. You know what I mean.
Speaker 3:Classic mundane junk, all right. Well, riley, how about you make a uh realms check at minus two to get out of the spill?
Speaker 1:Amazing.
Speaker 3:That's three minus two, oh, but you're plus two realms yeah okay okay, that is a dangerous encounter and uh, that's not good.
Speaker 2:We gotta get away from this one what?
Speaker 1:what if it's just that um gabe the ooze has started to like drink in the ooze and has become feral? He?
Speaker 2:gave. The ooze, who had befriended us for about 10 minutes, is now ready to eat us.
Speaker 3:Yep Like every good relationship? I don't know. Let's use this table that we've created. Roll the d100.
Speaker 1:Oh boy 90.
Speaker 3:That can't be good Fleabag.
Speaker 2:County. Oh, that's right, we're in Fleabag County, alright.
Speaker 3:This will be spillified.
Speaker 2:These are the mundane items.
Speaker 1:we found Machete.
Speaker 2:Yes, we found Danny Trejo.
Speaker 3:Scale mill. That's a decent find. So you see scarecrows, which are a type of monstrous crow, and they're all mutated and just bulging eyes and ragged feathers. They look like their teeth are sharper than you would expect, like their teeth are like sharper than you would expect. Um, and they seem to spot Gabe. Oh no, go at, go at Gabe. Start tearing at his mung flesh.
Speaker 1:Hey, I pull out the club. Get away from Gabe.
Speaker 2:You leave him alone yeah.
Speaker 1:Make an intimidate. Make an intimidate check. Yes, I have, oh, I don't have. Well, my intimidates back to plus two, because my scars have migrated to my back. So this is problematic, but we do get to roll with advantage on this one. So let's see, the nine is going to be an 11.
Speaker 3:All right, you wave your club around and the Scarecrows squawk and say no.
Speaker 1:Gabe.
Speaker 3:Gabe. We will get Gabe, gabe.
Speaker 1:How do they know Gabe's name?
Speaker 3:first of all, you just said it.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, that's fair. These guys are smart. Crows are incredibly smart creatures, unlike Galen's.
Speaker 2:Galen has an entry in the monster's portion like a necessary creature. Galen an entry in the monsters portion like a necessary creature they flap away, but they're not like they're not.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they're not like hovering around.
Speaker 3:We're circling like vultures, but they're crows yeah, so that will take you out of the spill amazing and you will still have a minus two. Okay, um, as we sail along.
Speaker 1:I say, hey, riley riley, you will still have a minus two, okay. Um, as we sail along, I say, hey, riley Riley, you doing okay.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean I'm doing pretty good. It's like soup drills out of my mouth.
Speaker 1:I say, uh, cheer up, buddy, I got you something. And uh, I show her a really small like kind of folded mechanical something. And I show her a really small like kind of folded mechanical device and I say, yeah, just just push this button. Yeah, it's, it's the pocket hang ladder it. It like it like springs to life.
Speaker 2:I pushed the button with my mutant hand.
Speaker 1:Yeah, this is like a really sadly yeah.
Speaker 2:This is incredible. Holy cats, I'd say you can fly again. I flew, I flew out of the cave. I will fly again, but this time not so close to the sun. Wow.
Speaker 1:We both gained an XP for building our relationship. I'll roll a realms check. Sorry, you said minus two, Ben.
Speaker 3:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 3:We're going to Marsgate right.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 3:Throughout the day. You can hear these scarecrows, just like cawing and going Gabe, gabe, gabe.
Speaker 2:Riley just throws rocks into the air Get out of here, Leave us alone. For like three and a half hours.
Speaker 3:An eight bumming the road, Roll a d6.
Speaker 2:I don't know what that is Y'all are exhausted, okay.
Speaker 1:I mean that sounds right. Minus one to everything.
Speaker 3:Well.
Speaker 2:I think I'm already minus two to everything you rolled disadvantage on healing.
Speaker 1:Oh, oh.
Speaker 3:I don't even know where you guys are at.
Speaker 1:I'm full, baby, I'm not full.
Speaker 2:I don't know where I'm at. I'm just physically mutated so badly that I can't do anything uh, I see riley springle.
Speaker 1:9 out of 14 that's right, that's right uh, galen dundugle. Oh wow, okay, 10 out of 23. That must have been when I died. Yeah, 8 out of 25. Yeah, I think I came back at 8 out of 25 okay, so you're going towards Marshgate. Marsha Marsha, marsha gate.
Speaker 3:Thank you so Night Falls. As you guys are on the ship, what do y'all do?
Speaker 1:Is Riley able to cook, you think, or should I try to cook?
Speaker 2:I mean, I'm like, I'm telling like Mitch, like just you know, crack the egg, crack the egg. And Mitch is just like fumbling it with his gooness it's all shell. When it finally gets into the pan, it's egg white all over the deck.
Speaker 1:Well, Mitch thinks that the calcium-rich shell is the best part of the egg. It doesn't care about the proteinaceous goo inside it Proteinaceous.
Speaker 2:Yes, so no roll. Ever should be disadvantaged like this one. For sure, four's not bad four ain't bad baby that puts me in awesome position.
Speaker 3:I mean, did you guys have food to cook?
Speaker 1:I have hella rations still.
Speaker 2:I have some salted meats I don't know what egg just came to mind.
Speaker 3:Some scarecrow eggs Rations. Let me roll it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean, that's fine, you don't use it, right? Oh yeah, you're right. Um um. However, the uh, the? The mobile weapons platform, the chicken lizard and the worms or the? Uh, the firefly jar perpetual light, all need to be fed. They have been fed in a while, so we're gonna see if they eat rations. Neither of them do. Wow, look at that I'm surprised, claudia has tempered the lizards appetite as they now share. Yeah well, they now share a digestive tract, it's horrifying um, it is, it's very uh cronenbergesque.
Speaker 2:I can't wait to see fan art of this party.
Speaker 3:Wow, piabity says so. Where are we headed? We're going to Marshgate, and that's it for us, right? We're done.
Speaker 2:It's done.
Speaker 1:I say, yeah, yeah, man, that's it. You've been such a valuable accomplice, let's put it. I say, uh, you want any of this stuff? I'm gonna show him a ball and chain a machete, a time piece, some scale mail. Actually, I offered the scale mail to lars. If he wants that, what has lars been up to Ben?
Speaker 3:He's still sleeping pretending to be asleep because he's terrified. He was a coward and he's kind of ashamed to show his face.
Speaker 2:He's just playing solitaire in the cabin.
Speaker 3:Yeah, he looked up to you guys. Eating pints some ice cream Didn't follow through, so you haven't seen him.
Speaker 1:Lars. Hey, Lars, you want to eat? We got some food.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I'm kind of hungry well, come out here.
Speaker 1:I've got some scale mail if you want to try it on. I can't get it from the cave over there well, you want to give it to me I mean, I think riley's got armor right no, riley have oh, oh oh, I got this knife.
Speaker 1:If you want it, I can no, no, I, I can make armor now okay materials, I can do some stuff I say, yeah, sure, I mean you know that we, we, we got into a heck of a scrape back there and I think you might feel better about yourself if you had a little more protection look, uh, you know what happened back there.
Speaker 3:I mean that, well, that's not, that's not me, it was just, I'd never seen anything like that, yeah.
Speaker 1:It was pretty horrible.
Speaker 2:I say quivering on the chair.
Speaker 3:Oh, wow.
Speaker 2:I'm okay, it'll be all right.
Speaker 3:Are you sure I mean?
Speaker 2:He's going to put me down. Are you sure you want to live? Yeah, it's temporary, like another 24 hours and I'm back to normal.
Speaker 3:How do you know that?
Speaker 1:Yeah, she's got a really great internal clock. Great internal clock, she can feel the mutations Undoing themselves. I, on the other hand, think I'll have these ears forever and I wiggle down.
Speaker 3:Riley, you see like a nub start growing.
Speaker 1:She sees a yub nub start growing.
Speaker 2:Oh god, oh god, I'm like a uh by the end of the night. I'm just like a writhing mass of tentacles and meat.
Speaker 1:But in the morning you're going to wake up a butterfly.
Speaker 2:Wow, I feel much better. It's like I just got to sweat it out. You know, just sweat out the sweat out the horror.
Speaker 3:I love it, but you're. I think you all should be left with some spill curse that never leaves you.
Speaker 1:Interesting the scars on our minds. We just have horrible flatus. That's the real spill curse.
Speaker 2:Two tails now and I braid them every morning.
Speaker 3:You bleed toxic waste like xenomorphs now.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's like acid blood spurts on us whenever we get.
Speaker 1:If you attack us, you actually take damage because you get our acid blood on you. I can get behind that kind of curse say hey, galen, you're trapped in a cage. What, what do you do? I cut my arm open. I bleed on the lock Acid. It's done, it's open.
Speaker 2:Classic Classic.
Speaker 3:Lars, he'll take the armor.
Speaker 1:All right.
Speaker 3:You can tell he's pretty sheepish.
Speaker 1:There's no need to be sheepish, Lars. This is part of growing.
Speaker 3:I'm not a sheep. I think for myself.
Speaker 1:Yes, you do.
Speaker 2:I think he meant sheepish in terms of cowardliness. Oh Riley, what Riley? No, I'm right there with you, ugh.
Speaker 3:I don't have to, I don't have to hear this stuff. He goes back down.
Speaker 1:Man, that guy's got some issues.
Speaker 2:He's a little angsty.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think he's like 16, 17.
Speaker 2:Yeah, probably he's an angsty teenager now he's got like teen acne.
Speaker 1:I think he's like 16, 17.
Speaker 2:Yeah, probably he's an angsty teenager now he's got like teen acne, he's seven foot two, but he's like an angsty teenager.
Speaker 1:Yeah, got like really oily skin.
Speaker 2:You know, part of that is just that he's a lizard man. It's also true. It's also true. He's a lizard man. Wow, that's also true. It's also true. Wow, that's also true.
Speaker 1:Classic, Amazing so is this?
Speaker 3:Is that really all we're going to? Because my ship got really messed up.
Speaker 1:I say okay, fine, we paid you for the trip. I can give you, I can afford to give you one more gold pouch for the repairs Done.
Speaker 2:You take some out of your hand before you leave.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we're so poor now.
Speaker 2:It's all right, we got all this lumber you know, rich in adventures and experience.
Speaker 3:He slaps you on the back.
Speaker 1:He gets mutation. Something to remember us by buddy.
Speaker 3:He like slices his hand on one of your ridges.
Speaker 1:Yeah, ah, ow, ow, ow. I say oh, ooh, ow, ow, ow. Let's say, oh yeah, that'll buff right out that's true four weeks.
Speaker 3:You know it'll be a gaping hole, oozing but you got your gold, you know yeah, but but you got. You got your gold, you know. Yeah, yeah, all right, um night falls and it's the next day, unless you have something else you want to do I spend like the most of the first portion of the night trying to like help riley get tucked in properly.
Speaker 1:Like the most of the first portion of the night trying to like help Riley get tucked in properly. Like she's like never, never feels comfortable yeah, it's a whole to do. Every time I get her tuck, just right, mitch like tries to also tuck and just like undoes some of the work and then Riley gets lopsided again. I feel like my bones yeah yeah, and then like, if you look over my shoulder, gabe is just spinning like a weirdo in the moonlight, like twittering this, like eeeee, we rethink putting it down.
Speaker 2:All the scarecrows have started to roost together and they've got their heads tucked into each other going.
Speaker 3:Gabe, Gabe.
Speaker 1:Gabe, Gabe, Gabe, Gabe. It's true.
Speaker 3:I like it, as the next day rolls in, make another check to make it to Marshgate.
Speaker 1:After you, my friend.
Speaker 3:All right.
Speaker 2:I will roll the. That's a solid three.
Speaker 3:Solid three, no minuses. It's regular, it's a solid five. So I guess, you could use a quest point Six.
Speaker 2:Roll D6. Rolling a D6.
Speaker 3:Six.
Speaker 1:Gatsom, classic inter-party conflict Starts immediately with me screaming you don't know what it's like, can't get comfortable. This is horrible. Galen's been asleep the whole time. He he wakes with a start to see riley hallucinating and like wiggling her fingers into the air, and he runs over and he tries to shake her riley, riley, but like he's just gooping his hands. Riley, you're falling apart.
Speaker 2:I'm starting to melt yeah.
Speaker 1:I think what you're seeing is like the regrowth is all goopy yeah, like, yeah, like my hands are just covered in like Riley goop and I'm like Riley what?
Speaker 2:is this. It's the second day like my body's beginning to normalize and I'm all covered in slime as my limbs are growing. It's horrible.
Speaker 1:Let me make a vitality check. Oh, I critically make it. I wanted to fail that one, galen. He feels his stomach turn into a knot but he's able to keep it down and not throw up on riley, um, but he makes a face and I think riley notices he's like I know I'm hideous no, you're fine. Uh, you're going to be yourself soon. It's fine. Look at me, I got these ridges. They'll never go away.
Speaker 2:Ever you love them. I know deep down inside, just like you love your scar. You want to be thunder.
Speaker 1:I just want numerical advantages in combat.
Speaker 2:What happened to the old Galen, the happy-go-lucky Galen?
Speaker 1:I don't know who he is anymore. All I know is thunder.
Speaker 2:She starts to cry.
Speaker 1:She starts to weep inconsolably.
Speaker 2:Looking as the fingers rearrange in her hand. Yeah. Lars is like what Thunderblade Phoenix Dark um lars is like yeah, thunder blade, phoenix dark, I screw that, don't call him that and throw something that you know like a brass bowl that clatters in the for for a moment, galen like pulls himself together.
Speaker 1:He's like. He's right, you're like a phoenix. You're gonna be reborn, you're gonna. You're gonna get better, you're gonna be.
Speaker 2:This is just you rising from the ashes, right I start to get manic and crazy, like maybe, maybe I'll grow wings. Maybe I'll be able to fly on my own where's the hang glider? It's hot in here, oh, oh I.
Speaker 1:I realize she's like febrile and I grab the bellows that I obtained in the mundane item list and I start using the bellows to cool her off that's better.
Speaker 2:That's better.
Speaker 3:I can feel like it you guys get into marsh gate. Uh, lars is like you know, I think, uh, I think I'm gonna go my separate separate ways, oh God. It's been a real experience and maybe we'll cross paths sometime, I don't know.
Speaker 1:I hope you learned something, lars, and get that armor size to fit you. It'll help you feel more I don't know brave in combat. You did a great job back there. Thanks for all your help.
Speaker 3:I'd shake your hands, but no.
Speaker 1:We don't know. What do you mean?
Speaker 2:Just tentacle fingers.
Speaker 3:Yes, I don't want to get contaminated.
Speaker 2:And Lars, I didn't mean you were a keyword when I said that my brain was split into two places.
Speaker 1:Literally, Literally Listen.
Speaker 3:I just want to leave this behind, okay.
Speaker 1:You can't leave behind things that make you who you are. Lars, this is a growth opportunity. I hope you realize that.
Speaker 2:At exactly that moment, my spine straightens and I sit up perfectly straight. It's happening Crack, crack, crack, crack crack.
Speaker 1:See, I say it's very poetic. Riley grew a spine.
Speaker 3:It makes him sad and he just like hops off the boat. I'm okay with leaving it at that oh wow, what an adventure that guy was dead weight anyway. I mean, like what did he really even do?
Speaker 1:yeah, I don't know. He ate some more food and he took some scale mail. Am I crazy? Or is Marsh getting on fire when we sail in?
Speaker 3:On fire.
Speaker 1:I don't know, I just thought it'd be interesting.
Speaker 2:While everyone was asleep, he's been shooting flaming arrows. Is it on fire yet?
Speaker 3:I mean well, I mean, there are metaphorical fires, that are, you know, people are scrambling to put out.
Speaker 1:I have to scroll all the way back up to, like, the beginning of our adventure list to remind myself if there's anything in Marshgate, to remind myself if there's anything in Marshgate Sarapathy coming out, pimity Wapdittle, izzik the Kobold Orcstide.
Speaker 2:Crazy Ernie's not coming back.
Speaker 1:right, Crazy Ernie's not coming back, oh no. Oh yeah, vera, the Mathemagician Taskmaster.
Speaker 3:Dundoon, what has happened in your absence is that SPL has completely taken over Marshgate because of your Crazy Ernie deal with.
Speaker 1:SPL. I see there's all these Crazy Ernie branded traps and signs up.
Speaker 3:Everything is SPL now and Vera is nowhere to be found. She's been ousted.
Speaker 1:Shit Sorry Crap.
Speaker 2:Sorry guys.
Speaker 3:A naughty word.
Speaker 1:Who said a naughty word? I said a bad, bad thing. I'm so sorry. Spl has completely taken over the city.
Speaker 3:I believe it's Taskmaster Dundoon.
Speaker 1:Yeah, dundoon, that's right. Yeah, he was the SPL guy in Marshgate.
Speaker 3:Yes, he says ah, didn't expect to see you roll in. Perhaps I should thank you.
Speaker 1:You're welcome, we'll take a reward.
Speaker 3:Well, no, I mean, I heard Wazinski gave you a reward.
Speaker 1:I'm not giving you a reward, I mean think of it this way, right. You were going to give us money for bringing Crazy Ernie back to Marshgate. But we brought Crazier to SPL, so we brought a crazier to SPL, so we should get the Marshgate reward too.
Speaker 3:That's not how it works. Okay, I'm not. I got a budget, I'm not going to give you anything.
Speaker 1:Are you sure?
Speaker 3:Look, I regret even saying thanks.
Speaker 2:Just pointless animosity to reveal, oh gosh.
Speaker 3:I love it what are you doing here? Why'd you come in that? What is that? A boat, we're making a delivery yeah, oh no, that's not good.
Speaker 1:Oh no, that's very not good delivery to me no to the crack. This is definitely not lumber that has spl on it in any way. Is there any identifiable markings on this lumber bend that would imply that it was stolen from for us? You know it was originally earmarked for SPL.
Speaker 3:Make a trickery check.
Speaker 1:I look to Riley with her newly grown spine and her freshly fingered fingers, neighbor.
Speaker 2:The mighty bear.
Speaker 1:Oh, put on your hat, put on your hat, put on your hat. Oh yeah, riley scrambles to put on your hat, put on your hat, put on your hat.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, riley scrambles to put on a hat I'm gonna give you a minus two to this role I'm gonna wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I'm gonna inspire you, I'm gonna give you, like a pleading gaze I mean, I'm gonna make you roll it, galen, because you're the one speaking. That's how this works, that's how this game works.
Speaker 1:That is not how we've done this. I choose to intimidate instead. Yeah, no, that's fine, I'll roll a trickery check. It's definitely only a minus one. That's pretty reasonable. So minus two, minus one. So minus three, that's a two oh boy could you lend a hand. Could you lend a hand?
Speaker 2:I could lend a hand. I'm going to be like no, no, no, you got it all wrong. This is going straight to Sven the Yodeling Troll, blah, blah, blah and I will roll. Nice, that's a 9 minus 2. I'm sorry, 10, because I'm plus 1.
Speaker 3:Okay, so what is your lie?
Speaker 1:Oh, oh, oh, let's say it's. The SPL Is short for Sven's Premium lumber that he ordered.
Speaker 2:Sven's premium lumber. A new outfit out in river country it's yeah. You know how it goes. It's not that big of a shipment, but we need to get over to that pronto. So if you could, you know, let us buy.
Speaker 3:Okay, yeah, I mean, some Riverwatch came by a while ago, you know, a couple days ago.
Speaker 1:I hate those guys right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, they were harassing us on the water. They must be out doing more shakedowns.
Speaker 1:You know how they roll.
Speaker 3:Yeah, well, you know, thought I could cash in, maybe, hopefully, but it's a lot of paperwork so I'll just forget.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you got to go all the way to Dunk. If you want to do that paperwork, Trust us.
Speaker 2:We know We've been doing that for five years.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Check season one.
Speaker 3:You mean the troll? That's the troll paperwork. I don't get into that stuff. That is just a whole other level. I mean that's a quadruple kit. I can't even speak over here because it's just making my mind nutty over here. You know what I mean, I know I know.
Speaker 1:I say, if you are you smelling almonds, are you having a stroke? Is that what's going on?
Speaker 2:toast, really it's toast, toast.
Speaker 1:Huh what he has stroke guy we should probably do we?
Speaker 2:can we move the lumber? Do we can we move the lumber, or do we need like another wagon?
Speaker 3:I will use feet of strength to carry the lumber myself To carry the lumber six hexes or whatever the hell it is yeah. Yeah, I mean you're going to need a wagon for that. You know I could rent you a wagon.
Speaker 2:We'd love to rent a wagon.
Speaker 3:It'd be four pouches of gold a day, standard SBL. Four pouches of gold per day.
Speaker 1:Payable upon return of the wagon right. I say, well, maybe we can come to some sort of deal.
Speaker 3:I like deals. I like deals too. I led with the four gold, so we would come to a deal. You know, I like people being indebted to me.
Speaker 2:All right. Well, how about? This how about we give you? How about we?
Speaker 1:I hear this ball and chain right now.
Speaker 3:What did you say?
Speaker 2:I said how about we owe you a favor?
Speaker 3:then I like favors.
Speaker 2:Ooh Galen doesn't like favors being owed, but it happens is being owed but it happens, or we can give you some insights on some stuff going on.
Speaker 3:Look, you say you're building this bridge for Sven the Yodeling Troll, nope. Nope, nope, nope Well that's something we'll have to discuss with Sven the.
Speaker 2:Yodeling Troll. No, the Taskmaster Dundoon, you know what I mean, nope?
Speaker 3:Well, that's something we'll have to discuss with Sven the Yodeling Troll, because he runs the show out in the crack.
Speaker 1:So you guys saying you're not getting a cut, I think we are getting a cut right.
Speaker 2:I don't remember. Are we getting a cut?
Speaker 3:We should get a cut. It's been an investment. I mean, if you're not getting a cut, you guys are the worst business people.
Speaker 2:I've ever met. Hey, hey, hey, I told you we should have got a contract or something.
Speaker 1:I was a fundamental misunderstanding with what the word cut meant.
Speaker 3:Listen, you don't have to talk to Sven sven, you just give me a cut of your cut. You know what I mean. That's how it works.
Speaker 1:It's great stuff and uh um, I pull riley aside and I say, hey, hey, what if we found vera the math magician?
Speaker 2:she likes us right she's out of here I pull Riley aside.
Speaker 3:That doesn't mean I can't hear you.
Speaker 2:We were whispering, Galen. What if we?
Speaker 3:Kill this guy.
Speaker 2:What if we can somehow turn Dundoon against destina brink in this whole thing?
Speaker 1:I? I like that idea. What do you have? Do you have something in mind, or you just maybe?
Speaker 2:like the opportunity to like gain favor with wizinski if he works with us to get this to spend yeah, I say hey, hey, what if we got?
Speaker 1:I'm going to say we can promote him out of this heck hole.
Speaker 2:What if we told you that we could help you get a promotion at SPL?
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:I just got a promotion. I mean another one.
Speaker 1:I mean, does it really seem like a promotion though, buddy, you're still here, still at Marshgate? I'm the leader of Marshgate. I mean, does it really seem like a promotion though, buddy, you're still here.
Speaker 3:Still.
Speaker 1:I'm the leader of.
Speaker 3:Marshgate. Now I'm the mayor.
Speaker 1:You can still smell the Orchmeyer. Is that how you want to be, don't?
Speaker 2:you want to be somewhere nice like the beautiful San Fernando Valley Sorry.
Speaker 3:I mean, what sort of position are we talking about here? Like Underlord.
Speaker 2:Possibly.
Speaker 1:I say, I mean, you know you might need these gilded galoshes where you're going. Yeah, those are nice, they are nice.
Speaker 2:Made out of Gore-Tex.
Speaker 1:They're waterproof for when you walk through the Orchmire. I don't know why I threw that in there. I just saw them on my my list.
Speaker 2:Um bribing this guy every weekend yeah.
Speaker 3:Hey, I'll take them. I mean those, those are my style.
Speaker 1:Uh, yeah, you know, uh, and second thought that they're more my size, though I don't know. I mean, maybe we can work out a different thing. I mean, unless you really want them.
Speaker 3:I think I do. I think, uh, I mean this is this is great.
Speaker 1:I say, uh, maybe we just do this for the wagon and call it a day.
Speaker 3:No, this is like a cherry on top.
Speaker 1:No, no, no. These cup, no, no, no. These are more than a cherry.
Speaker 3:These are like the real sunday itself look, you guys are, you know, doing a lot of talk, saying you give me another promotion. Where's the substance here?
Speaker 2:you want to know the truth I immediately attack him if we get this lumber to the crack then then we've got a thing with Wazinski, we're working with Wazinski.
Speaker 1:It's not like that. I mean, we're not like. Do you know, wazinski?
Speaker 2:Madame Wazinski, the CEO, of course I do.
Speaker 1:But do you know her personally, do you?
Speaker 3:know Destina Brink. I spoke to her once. She said out of my way, filth.
Speaker 2:Yeah well, we actually had lunch with her and we did her a little personal favor and a very civilized affair we happen to know that, uh, folks that do personal favors for wazinski get into her good side what kind of favor are we talking? Well, let's just say Destina Brink is up to no good trying to ruin SPL, and anyone that helps get rid of Destina Brink is going to be a fan.
Speaker 3:She's like one of the most prominent bigwigs in the company. She's killing it.
Speaker 1:We're saying there might be a vacancy with her name on it.
Speaker 2:That's exactly what I'm saying. There might be a vacancy because Destina Brink, she doesn't have the company's best interests in mind.
Speaker 1:She only has Destina Brink's best interests at heart.
Speaker 2:I'm going to need two checks here. Yeah, inspire check and a trickery check.
Speaker 1:I got the inspiration. I will trick her. Uh, it's a nine 13, 13. Riley and I hero tug in front of him.
Speaker 2:It's obvious, but we don't care, you gotta give us that wagon, or you could have it all.
Speaker 3:I set you up the wagons.
Speaker 2:You tell me exactly what I need to do. That's the deal.
Speaker 3:And I want hard information, actionable stuff, not just pie-in-the-sky dreams.
Speaker 2:Okay, no problem.
Speaker 1:Done. No problem, it's done.
Speaker 2:We'll be back in four days.
Speaker 3:With actionable.
Speaker 2:Gotta give it to you first. Okay, let me converse with my associate.
Speaker 1:I pull Riley aside.
Speaker 2:Alright, technically, we don't have any good information about what Sam Reich's doing but we know she's going to take down the forest. So she needed this lumber to do some stuff. Um, you know, that means she's got to have, like, some of those buzzsaw machines, right or something it's true, yeah, uh, who, and we have some of our own, so maybe do any good. Um, yeah, maybe if we give this guy the mission to go find out where she's hiding her buzzsaw machines and giving that to Wazinski, he can get his promotion.
Speaker 1:Yeah, could we have. Do we have any rumors about where the buzzsaw machines might be?
Speaker 2:Like her hidden stash of equipment for cutting down all of Grimleywood.
Speaker 1:Hmm, of equipment for cutting down all of Brimleywood. I'm just rolling through my rumor list and seeing if I know anything.
Speaker 2:I'm looking through my powers to see if I can.
Speaker 3:Might be something that you have to investigate.
Speaker 1:I'm into the Manticore. Kate Cateran wanted a poster with our names on it. I don't have anything about that. We gave Wazinski the egg of insight.
Speaker 2:Okay, then maybe what we can do is we can tell him, like we're going to find out what we're going to find out what we're going to need help sabotaging them.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean, I like that idea, just reading through all our old stuff.
Speaker 3:I mean you could lie to him.
Speaker 1:And make an enemy out of him eventually.
Speaker 2:What's another option? Yeah, no it's true. Ben likes that option best because he wants to have this yeah.
Speaker 3:Well, he's expecting stuff. Now is the thing.
Speaker 1:Well, no, here's the thing right. So we can tell him that he should be expecting to receive a shipment of lumber for Destina Brinks. Like, eventually, Destina Brinks is going to get another shipment of lumber. It's going to come down the way to Marshgate and if he can interrupt that, he can divert it to. Mucklin Harbor or anywhere. Yeah, or Mucklin harbor, exactly. Then that would put a thorn in destina brink's side and curry favor with wazinski that's all true, because she just wanted us to destroy it.
Speaker 2:We're the ones that decided to take some Right. Isn't that what you wanted?
Speaker 3:Yes, yeah, all right. Dundoon says this is big, I mean if I screw up, I mean that's enough to lose your neck.
Speaker 1:You're the leader, you're the mayor of Marshgate.
Speaker 2:That's true Risk it all, win it all.
Speaker 1:Get some sweet kicks, and I hold up the gilded galoshes again.
Speaker 3:Dundun the gilded. Can you guys start spreading that around?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'll say Dundoon, more like Dundeal, and I reach out my hand and shake it.
Speaker 3:He shakes it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, All right, I'm just making a note of. We made a deal with Taskmaster Dundoon. He gave him info to divert Destina Brink's next shipment.
Speaker 2:To divert the next shipment to Mucklin Harbor. Attention, noggin yeah.
Speaker 1:Oh, the boy's got me in my lumber, ben. How much were those gilded galoshes worth anyways? Like a gold or two.
Speaker 3:Gold, that's not bad. A pouch of gold coins.
Speaker 1:A pouch of gold.
Speaker 2:Golden coins, the goldenest of coins.
Speaker 3:When all this works out, which it will, because, as you said, I'm great, you are.
Speaker 1:You are.
Speaker 3:You know, come down anytime to Marshgate, I'll give you 10% off at the general store.
Speaker 1:I start fanning myself as if that's such a great deal I'm going to pass out Great deal. Oh, again, done deal. You know you should think about changing your name to that.
Speaker 3:Taskmaster. Done deal the Gilded.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I love it.
Speaker 3:I mean, it's like poetry.
Speaker 1:Yes, like poultry.
Speaker 3:Speaking of poultry, that is one ugly looking chicken no, no, no don't don't make right out of my mouth.
Speaker 1:I was just about to do that joke I say, uh, don't make eye contact with it. And then claudia and the lizards start to like shoot fire all over the place because they don't like it pops off yeah I pick up Claudio and start soothing them. It's okay.
Speaker 3:Some SPL goons bring out a wagon Like a pretty large wagon Flatbed.
Speaker 1:Flatbed pickup wagon.
Speaker 2:Loading it all in. Here we go.
Speaker 1:It's a Toyota Tundra go. It's a Toyota Tundra wagon.
Speaker 3:It's a Makota. Wow, I'm sorry.
Speaker 2:I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Speaker 3:I'm sorry.
Speaker 2:I'm sorry.
Speaker 3:This might be a good place to stop before your journey to the crack.
Speaker 2:Two hexes.
Speaker 1:Nothing bad could possibly happen.
Speaker 3:It's true, nothing.
Speaker 2:Nothing could possibly go wrong.
Speaker 1:I like it. Well, good times, good quest. I like it Well, oh my gosh. Good times, good times, good quest.
Speaker 3:Shall, we do some XP's.
Speaker 1:I won't say no.
Speaker 2:I also will not say no. Instead, I will say yes.
Speaker 1:New creature.
Speaker 3:Scarecrows. Yeah, yeah, didn't complete an objective really. Uh, yeah, you're right, solve a problem creatively.
Speaker 1:I mean, I definitely was creative when I thought of that air current all by myself.
Speaker 2:No, minutes trapped in the cave.
Speaker 1:There's a gust of wind. I don't understand how that information is useful. There's a gust of wind. I don't understand how that information is useful. I don't know that we did?
Speaker 2:Yeah, probably not.
Speaker 3:It's kind of a meandered, significant encounter with an NPC.
Speaker 1:Lars Dundoon.
Speaker 2:Dundoon, definitely Dundoon.
Speaker 3:Philo.
Speaker 2:Philo.
Speaker 3:Maybeo yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:Did you explore a new point of interest location?
Speaker 1:Well, did we do XP after the last one? We did right.
Speaker 3:Yeah. We've already pounded the spill yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, then I don't think we've achieved much.
Speaker 3:I mean we could say that I'll give you an XP for going down the black rill. You've explored that. That would be 3 XP for today.
Speaker 1:That's pretty decent.
Speaker 3:Plus you know that sort of had a relationship moment a couple times, I don't know yeah, I don't know how it's going to be added onto our story, our evolving story. Well, I think you guys cried together, I cried.
Speaker 1:We just reaffirmed our commitment to each other's friendship in Riley's moment of kind of like metamorphosis.
Speaker 2:Of total body horror and panic.
Speaker 1:Yeah, very Cronenberg, episode, very Cronenberg.
Speaker 3:I mean, it seems like Riley, uh, through her horrible ordeal and the fact that she's got a hang glider.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like I immediately. Like I think that Galen immediately thought of her when he got it wants to help her mission to fly.
Speaker 3:Galen doesn't of her when he got it Wants to help her mission to fly. Galen doesn't know who he is anymore. Who am I? Classic film.
Speaker 2:It's a classic. It is, for the most part, definitely classic.
Speaker 3:I don't know. It'll be up to you guys.
Speaker 1:I had a little line about reaffirming Our friendship through Riley's Metamorphosis and Galen is more committed to, galen is committed to helping Riley fly again and Galen is committed to helping Riley fly again and maybe, along the lines of Galen, is trying to figure out who he is.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I feel like with the thing that's coming to a head. Yeah, go ahead lars leaving like he definitely doesn't see you guys as thunder blade and phoenix dark anymore and that's, and with his own issues, that's why he left. Yeah, just so like I don't know what that means in terms of galen, that he's not thunderblade yeah, I mean maybe.
Speaker 1:Maybe he's like yeah, he's more than just that unidimensional like well, maybe galen's coming to the realization that, like you, can be many things at once. You don't have to have one thing dominate who you are. Like there is a part of him that will be thunderblade, but that's. It has its uses, but it can be put away and put away and bring out the great club. Now you're I'm in a thunder thunder club. A yeah, You've been Thunder Clubbed.
Speaker 2:You've been Thunder Clubbed. You've got to say that the next time you defeat somebody, yeah, and then we'll play ACDC's Thunderstruck and just yell Thunder Clubbed over every time they say Thunderstruck.
Speaker 3:That's what you'll say to the hammer when you meet him again. I can't wait.
Speaker 2:Those guys, those guys are rough. We'll be ready, we'll be ready.
Speaker 1:We've definitely gained some more abilities at Hipwoods.
Speaker 3:Yeah, dude, alright, cool Good times. So.
Speaker 2:So this week, on thursday at 5 pm pst, we're doing a launch party for rickety stitch book three rickety stitch book three comes out april 27th, three days away, after a year-long delay because of the gnarly covid 19 situation the launch party is on the 29th, however, and I'm gonna do a little book giveaway.
Speaker 3:I'm gonna have some special guests our buddy dameron cororb, who made some music Made some music for the book.
Speaker 1:What time is it at? Again Five? Oh, I'm off this week. No, I'm not, I take it back. Shoot, I'm going to Hawaii.
Speaker 2:Oh, wait a minute.
Speaker 1:It's next week that I'm off. I cancelled my vacation this week because reasons I will see. I canceled my vacation this week because reasons I will see I might be available. I'm going to tell you all about my reasons 5 pm.
Speaker 3:Yeah, if you're around you can hop on and whatever.
Speaker 1:I'll take my dinner break and join. It'd be great. I'll live stream from the operating room. It's your buzzsaw joint. It'd be great. I'll live stream from the operating room.
Speaker 3:Wow, it's your buzzsaw.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's like Hammer's maniacal cackling, horrible 90s gangster rap that we love.
Speaker 2:The operating room.
Speaker 1:That's all we play.
Speaker 2:Wild stuff US healthcare.
Speaker 1:Coming at you.
Speaker 2:Damn, it feels good to be a gangster.
Speaker 1:I'm going to play that in the operating room next, but yeah, launch party Thursday 5 o'clock 5 o'clock. Be there, be square 8 pm Eastern.
Speaker 2:It's going to be really fun and we hope to see many of you there. And if you want a reminder, then just check out Landaveemcom and you can subscribe to the newsletter or check us out on Facebook or Instagram. Just slash Rickety Stitch.
Speaker 3:Cool, all right, until next time, until next week, guys. This has been a great time. We're going to dive into episode 18 next week and it's really going to be something special. We're inching close to 20 episodes here and that's a full season.
Speaker 2:We're just really. He's too powerful, George. We can't let him continue.
Speaker 1:I was just not going to acknowledge it at all. I was actually going to just close StreamYard and leave.
Speaker 3:Alright, let's say goodbye. Everybody say goodbye, goodbye now.
Speaker 1:Goodnight Gracie.
Speaker 3:Take it easy, everybody, bye-bye.
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