Land of Eem: Actual Play

Land of Eem: Fantasy Actual Play S02E18 | The Snakes and the Golem

Ben Costa, James Parks, George Higgins Season 2 Episode 18

Have something to say? Send us a Text!

What happens when you mix a charming stone golem, a swarm of angry bees, and a fire-breathing chimera? Pure chaos! Join Ben Costa and James Parks—creators of Rickety Stitch and the Gelatinous Goo and Dungeoneer Adventures—alongside lead playtester and close friend George Higgins, as they navigate one of their wildest encounters yet in the Land of Eem TTRPG, played in the Mucklands Campaign Sandbox Setting and published by Exalted Funeral.

This episode is packed with unpredictable antics, from charming a golem to battling bees with help from Claudia the Chimera and a barrel of rascal cider. Along the way, meet Dan, a gentle giant with a mysterious past, as the group uncovers his connection to master magicians and explores the creative origins of the Land of Eem RPG. Fans of Rickety Stitch and the Gelatinous Goo won’t want to miss this imaginative dive into Eem’s lore.

The action intensifies with a dramatic clash against Sarpathy warriors, featuring bold intimidations from Galen and daring hang glider maneuvers from Rylee. With suspenseful moments straight out of action movies—think Die Hard—this tabletop RPG session is packed with intense battle strategies, hilarious banter, and heart-pounding heroics.

Perfect for fans of Fantasy Actual Play, Collaborative Storytelling RPGs, Rules-Light Indie RPGs, and the dynamic TTRPG community, this episode is a thrilling adventure filled with humor, creativity, and unforgettable moments.

Download the Land of Eem Quickstart Guide for FREE, and join the journey today!

https://linktr.ee/landofeem

Speaker 1:

Hello, hi, good morning, hey, holy goodness, hey, welcome to the Land of Game Stream. Got session 18.

Speaker 2:

Session 18.

Speaker 1:

Season 2. That means this is the 38th episode.

Speaker 2:

Of Three Guys Dungeons and Fries.

Speaker 1:

Wow, yeah, yes, that's what we're called now, that is, we're rebranding. Rebranding. How are you guys doing today?

Speaker 2:

I mean I'm doing great. It's a beautiful Saturday out in sunny California. It's a beautiful day and we're copyright struck, Sorry guys. Rickety Stitch Book 3 came out this week and we've been making the rounds on different uh different uh streams and had our launch party and that was super fun. And now we're gonna play some land of eem and I'm feeling the love. Check out the youtube video on demand if you want to catch up on all the festivities and launch party, that is I mean it, mean it's there. It's there if you want.

Speaker 2:

Who was on the stream. Was it Darren and Ashley? Darren, ashley and Evan.

Speaker 1:

Oh, my good lord.

Speaker 2:

Darren Korb, the audio director at Supergiant Games, singer-songwriter behind many of the songs of the game Hades and Bastion Pyre Transistor along with Ashley Barrett, who performed with Darren many of the songs. She's a voice actress and singer for many of the Supergiant games, including many, many, many, many Mahoney Punky.

Speaker 1:

You know we also Whoa Well, we got this pungent quest scene here, which is you know we also Whoa Well, we got this Pungent Quest zine here, which is you know it's exclusive. Alright, this is Kickstarter exclusive here, but we released the PDF. It's up on DriveThruRPG, it's up on landaimcom and you know, snag a copy. This is hours of fun for five bucks.

Speaker 2:

It is hours of fun, it's actually 40 pages long and it's filled with all kinds of riddles, monsters, encounters and magical items that are all Whoa whoa whoa Guys. I don't play Land of Eam. Can I use this in my other Dungeons, dragons systems?

Speaker 1:

George, I'm glad you asked.

Speaker 2:

Why didn't we do this earlier? This would have been a perfect infomercial.

Speaker 1:

It's a system-neutral, one-shot adventure that you can drop into any campaign. True, including this one drop into any campaign that you may be running If you want to spice up your game with a little humor, a little comedy, a little dastardly fun.

Speaker 2:

This is basically the Mrs Dash of D&D. You know it is.

Speaker 1:

Dare, I say it's a masterpiece.

Speaker 2:

Dare it is Dare. I say it's a masterpiece.

Speaker 1:

You dare, I dare it is a masterpiece. The Punching Quest. Let's transition over to Land of Eme RPG.

Speaker 2:

Alright, where were our Mighty Heroes last? I'm sorry do you mean Thunderblade and Phoenix Dark?

Speaker 1:

That's right, I feel like you guys shed those names now. I did instantly.

Speaker 2:

It took me like five quests. It took you to Thunderblade. What was the Dratch's name?

Speaker 1:

Lars, lars, yeah, dratch isn't with us anymore right?

Speaker 2:

He kind of bolted Well, he took this armor I gave him and he was like hey guys, thanks, but no thanks.

Speaker 1:

Well, he's a coward. He was embarrassed by his cowardice, yeah, and he also was kind of weirded out by your little moment that he had, where you were crying, yeah he's not used to character development.

Speaker 2:

If you look at his character sheet, there's no addition to his main story, it's just Lars is a dratch, seeks vengeance, wants to be a bounty hunter.

Speaker 1:

Seeks vengeance.

Speaker 2:

Wants to be very one-dimensional yeah, zoni and Buck summed him up in like one paragraph and has not written about him since he's just a tiny footnote yeah in the legend and his name is spelled wrong so he will never be remembered.

Speaker 1:

So last time you came to Marshgate and struck a deal with taskmaster dundoon yep to let you use one of their uh wagons to transport your lumber to the crack.

Speaker 2:

Okay, yeah, I think we made a deal with him. We we gave him info to divert Destina Brink's next shipment to Mucklin Harbor.

Speaker 1:

Something like that Beth is back, hey welcome back Beth. We're awesome and funny. Thank you, beth, it's true, it's true. It's canon. The NPR voices. I didn't know we had N, we had npr.

Speaker 2:

No, that's got to be all george, I know my oh, no, no, no, you guys sound beautiful. I've got you know what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna, whatever george's setup is, I'm gonna shamelessly copy it so that I have great audio. Also, you always will have great audio. It's your voice. You have have the nice timbre.

Speaker 1:

The timbre. The question is what is our tote bag going to be?

Speaker 2:

Three Guys, burgers and Fries.

Speaker 1:

I already said it oh no Dungeons and Fries.

Speaker 2:

I said I'm sorry we already can't remember Sub-20 Pits and Layers LLC tote bag. I would buy an SPL LLC C rickety stitch bar to the bone tote bag. What if it was a reversible tote? Ooh, that's fancy actually you know, you know.

Speaker 1:

I don't know if that's the thing.

Speaker 2:

I think I have a reversible tote and it blows my mind. I think random house gave us one Ben. Is that such a random thing from?

Speaker 1:

a random house. Did you get a reversible? Tote For what oh wait?

Speaker 2:

No, no, no, it was from a. We did like an event at a bookstore. We got a reversible tote. I have it somewhere, keplers A reversible tote, kepler. It could have been. It could have been the Charles Schultz Museum.

Speaker 1:

I don't remember, but I know we got one. This has been an adventure trying to determine where you got it. I gave it to my dad, ah.

Speaker 2:

Well, it is helpful. I have mine somewhere around here. It's probably in my car actually. Does anyone have the ability to play?

Speaker 1:

Well, let's stop everything and go find that.

Speaker 2:

I'm going to go dig around through my car. I found it, I love it. I'm going to go dig around through my car. I found it, I love it. I'm going to be filling that thing with bananas and lettuce later. You know what I mean.

Speaker 1:

Bananas A salad.

Speaker 2:

All right, that's a good stream.

Speaker 1:

There was an exchange, though. You promised Dundoon something.

Speaker 2:

I think we gave him information of some sort right. I don't exactly remember. I'd have to roll back that beautiful bean footage. I do not recall it's been a week we were gonna.

Speaker 1:

Well, I think you promised him that um fortune.

Speaker 2:

Well, like we were gonna put in a good word with Wazinski.

Speaker 1:

Is that a thing? We were going to help him?

Speaker 2:

Riley put on her hat of trickery. It's not like we can't put in a good word with Wazinski, though she also does not care about us at all.

Speaker 1:

She said she never wanted to see you again, that your games were over but we know that wasn't.

Speaker 2:

You know how she really felt. We're gonna show up at the company party. She's not gonna expect us. We'll be dressed as clowns.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2:

Yes, yes.

Speaker 1:

Well, good luck with that. And yeah, you know, nothing can go wrong with what you guys have set up.

Speaker 2:

Nothing. It's impossible, it's flawless, it's foolproof.

Speaker 1:

So take a vacation at Kragland. Yeah, so you've got all the lumber strapped up to the wagon. You're ready to go. Nothing could possibly go wrong.

Speaker 2:

Shall we begin the travel checks? Yeah, well, real quick. So Vera the mathemagician, is she just completely gone from marsh gate now?

Speaker 1:

okay, it was always kind of a battle between the three companies right right with the rise of spl, which is basically you're doing.

Speaker 2:

The others have been ousted yeah, loosely based on the ride skywalker crazy ernie. Actually it was um. I mean, he's the key, he's the ride to Skywalker Crazy Ernie actually.

Speaker 1:

He's the key. He's the key to it all.

Speaker 2:

It's true All of it.

Speaker 1:

Wow.

Speaker 2:

Every time I'm sorry, I can't help it. Let me roll a travel check See if Bernard is here to guide our hands in this time of need't seen bernard in a while I hope bernard's okay. If he's moved on, I accept, uh, and he's dead to us. No, I'm kidding, bernard, come back to us. Uh, that's a 14, if I'm not forgetting what my realms number is. Oh, no, it's a 13. But it's still a Descubierto.

Speaker 1:

Okay.

Speaker 2:

The creaky wagon sets out for Marshgate, leaving long tracks in the mud. There's that NPR voice. Can't help it.

Speaker 1:

Roll a D100.

Speaker 2:

Telling the tales of E. Galen, sitting in the driver's seat, casts a D100. Telling the tales of you. Galen, sitting in the driver's seat, casts a D100 onto the ground.

Speaker 1:

Well, find out what happens. Where were you? You come upon what looks to be like a stone man or like the form of a humanoid.

Speaker 2:

Cast in stone, hewn from stone, okay.

Speaker 1:

Does it look like it was? Actually hewn or does it look like someone was stoned to flesh? Flesh to stoned? Yeah, it looks hewn, it's not like perfectly human.

Speaker 2:

It's like rocking I feel better about this situation.

Speaker 1:

But it's covered in bird poop, like almost from head to toe, and they're like the same. It might be the same scarecrows that you encountered on the the river last time who are mocking you.

Speaker 2:

Oh man, that's. That was a wonderful setup, ben Cause I thought it was going to be one giant bird that pooped on the statue and then we were going to get attacked by a giant. Like to write iton or something. But it's those scarecrows again.

Speaker 1:

Um they say Gabe.

Speaker 2:

Gabe, let's throw a rock at them, yeah. Get out of here continue that storyline forever wait, are they calling out to the little monk fairy creature we have with us?

Speaker 1:

yeah.

Speaker 2:

I just does Gabe respond it's really like he says I am Gabe.

Speaker 1:

Gabe can't speak. He shrinks and hides behind your leg. Are they making fun of Gabe?

Speaker 2:

no, I think they want to eat Gabe they wanted to eat him last time yeah, okay, alright, I'm going to say it's okay, gabe, they won't get you. They should give up the small creature. It is nothing but trouble.

Speaker 2:

And a horror to look upon the horror, the horror. Can I use eye for clues? And yes, this is extreme a little bit, but I'm going to look for eye clues and see there's a wasp's nest Underneath the statue. Somehow, this will only hurt me. Are wasps canon in Land of Eam? I mean Bees. They're bees. He's referring to Anglo-Saxon protestants guys, what is the clue? Um well, the oh sorry. Yeah, I guess the this is. Uh, I might be using the power wrong but.

Speaker 2:

I wanted to, uh, scare them all off by having bees like get on them and throw a rock at the nest. Oh, at the wasp hive, beehive type thing. It's not. Yeah, it's like, are they? They're not perched on this statue, are they? They have just pooped on it and are circling.

Speaker 1:

They're perched on it.

Speaker 2:

Oh, okay, my bad. Uh, I can certainly yeah. Bad, I can certainly yeah. James, you want to roll for that? The clue would maybe be like the sound of buzzing coming from Twix, the statue's legs, or something.

Speaker 1:

That's what I was going to say Betwixt.

Speaker 2:

Betwixt. Betwixt hadn't come into my mind.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, you really. I need this word to tie this all together.

Speaker 2:

Betwixt, betwixt, its stern legs. I succeed, I love it, I succeed.

Speaker 1:

With an 11. Okay, yeah, you hear the buzzing.

Speaker 2:

I'm gonna kick a rock into the, into the nest, and hit the deck. I do not do it. You hear an ow my eye.

Speaker 1:

And Galen holds his eye. What is your total?

Speaker 2:

A total is four.

Speaker 1:

Four. Well, you throw the rock and it just kind of like slams into the stone thing which starts to creak and kind of groan.

Speaker 2:

Oh no.

Speaker 1:

Oh.

Speaker 2:

I didn't expect this.

Speaker 1:

I was done. Once it gets up, the birds flutter and shriek and caw and start circling. Hmm.

Speaker 2:

Um, the real question is is there a beehive between its legs? There was right, yeah, yeah, and then, like a, the beeh is, is there?

Speaker 1:

a beehive between its legs. There was right, yeah, yeah. And then, like a, the beehive starts, uh, it kind of falls and now there's a swarm of bees, bees.

Speaker 2:

Oh no, am I disconnecting from? I can hear you.

Speaker 1:

Hmm, can you hear me, can you?

Speaker 2:

hear us, georgie, we can hear your buttery voice. Okay, I, I had, we both get. Uh, I can't even talk. Both of you guys froze on me there. For a second was I still there yes yeah, you're still. That's odd. I mean, my internet might just be a shambles, as always, my apologies, but I could hear you, so Okay.

Speaker 1:

It only happens with my internet because my internet is terrible.

Speaker 2:

Sorry about that. You were saying it cracked, the beehive fell to the ground.

Speaker 1:

Yeah. So what you've got in front of you now is it looks like a stone golem type of creature. It's got swarming bees and it looks like a stone golem type of creature and it's got swarming bees and it's like and above it are circling scarecrows Amazing.

Speaker 2:

All right. Now we need to save the stone golem from the chaos we've created. I mean it seems kind of worried about us mad at you. Yeah, you woke him up. Sorry I didn't mean to hit you with that rock. Why? I was trying to get rid of the scarecrows? Because they were pooping all over you. Yeah, look at your shoulders here, we'll clean you off, buddy.

Speaker 2:

Make a charm check my scars have still migrated to one spot on my back. There go, I am charming once again. I forgot. Are you still cursed? Or I still have donkey ears and ridges? I forgot, I rolled. Well, I'm like normal again. I mean, it's a seven, it's not the worst.

Speaker 1:

Okay, he seems to relax and stop flailing. But the bees migrate towards you or swarm towards you Interesting. You take you or swarm towards you interesting you take two dread.

Speaker 2:

It's dreadful sting your ridges and donkey ears. Only they're selectively targeting my ridges and donkey ears. Um is this? Is this considered combat? Can I raise my shield?

Speaker 1:

I mean it's fine, it's fine. I take the two dread um they're, these would be considered, uh, creepers. So I don't know what that means fight them, ah, okay, okay they're sort of like a hazard that you just escape, have to deal with somehow do you deal with it as as Shade descended my eyes.

Speaker 2:

Okay, are the bees? Do they give up after? Or are they all stung me and died somehow, as they do?

Speaker 1:

Well, you're currently just sitting there in the swarm, so how do you want to deal with them?

Speaker 2:

I don't, no, I should deal with them. I say, bradley, wash off our friend, I'll deal with the bees and I start running. I got this, I got this, I got this um the, the scarecrows start cawing and cackling freaking scarecrows.

Speaker 2:

Um, I am going to. Uh well, I had an idea for the bees, but um, I'm going to switch up. I whistle for Claudia and the lizard. A little homunculus thing, a little chimera, claudia. To me that starts like gouts of fire and pecking at the bees in the air. I would consider this, as she gets fed as she's them, so I don't have to feed her a ration. She too is a creeper Ben. They have to deal with it.

Speaker 1:

Certainly like shoot the flame.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I would. I would do that. D12. 8?.

Speaker 1:

Does she have a bonus to attack at all?

Speaker 2:

No, do I use a quest point? Would one gout of flame deal with a b thing.

Speaker 1:

Um, I think you just take a bit more dread, but deal with it if, if this does not work, you're saying if you don't use a quest point, you will take dread process um, it was a d6.

Speaker 2:

It has potential to be really well. You know what I accept. I take the dread she starts like chasing and shooting fire wildly.

Speaker 1:

She's lit four bushes on fire but not hit a single bee in the swarm you take four more dread as uh, these spurts of flame, you know, expunge the bees and you're like dancing around. Some of the flame licks you yeah, it's delicious it tastes like candy to the flame. It tastes like a donkey.

Speaker 2:

Zona Inbach watches in horror as all the bee stings on my body migrate to a central spot on my back now you've got this giant, yeah, I have a huge welt with a scar. Everything that's bad about me has migrated to that spot.

Speaker 1:

Riley, what are you doing with the golem?

Speaker 2:

So I am going to so I was going to shake up the barrel of rascal cider and, like, spray the scarecrows with it, hoping the bees would be attracted to it. Our infinite barrel of rascal cider? I have one barrel. We had two right, I think I still have a barrel. We're just going to keep saying we have barrels, ben. We fill it up like a keg every time we're in a town yeah, my internet's better now.

Speaker 2:

This is good, but, uh, what I'm gonna do is try to shoo away the scarecrows. Um, by doing the same thing, I'm gonna try to spray them. I'm gonna shake up the barrel of rascal cider and try to spray them by punching a hole, they, they do 89 damage to you.

Speaker 1:

Okay.

Speaker 2:

All of these rolls terrify me. Yeah, I.

Speaker 1:

I guess make like a Tinker check or something.

Speaker 2:

With advantage. Oh, you won't need it. I won't need it.

Speaker 1:

That is a 12. Not advantage.

Speaker 2:

But doesn't Riley have advantage? There's only traps. I have an advantage on traps, mechanics repair and gold craft.

Speaker 1:

Okay, you spray the scarecrows and they squawk and fly further away.

Speaker 2:

Ben, before they fly away, is rascal cider flammable? Because the chicken will take a pot shot at them as they fly away.

Speaker 1:

They're a little too high up in the sky If this is a 12,.

Speaker 2:

I imagine it like a 10. Ah, it was a 10. Shoot. I used two quest points.

Speaker 1:

She incinerates the crows.

Speaker 2:

If it was an 11, I would have used a quest point. That would have been worth it. You're kind of like over there and they're still over there. It doesn't matter she's. She's a dead eye with a lizard on her back. She's got an internal, she has an internal targeting computer with that lizard brain. She is a mobile weapons platform. I keep saying this. She's wearing like an x-wing pilot helmet, like yeah, our time yeah, here like oh no, she's turned off her targeting computer.

Speaker 2:

She's all right yeah, I love it. Anyway. What is what's going on with our, our new friends in the statue, who will join our party shortly?

Speaker 1:

well, you know, with your high roll there, you know you, you could use some of that cider to spray off the uh, the bird poop I will do that spray. I will spray and I will scrub um, yeah, this, this you get a clear. Look, now that it's not covered in crap. It looks like a? Uh, a stone golem, which beautiful maiden I guess you could make a lore check about those.

Speaker 2:

Oh where? What was the Hold on, hold on? What was the ghost's name that I have ever written down somewhere? Oh, the Welkin. Yeah, that's his whole thing. I mean it's funny because I also have a plus three lore. But you have a plus three, lore that's amazing Philo Sim, what he can do lo.

Speaker 1:

yes, phylo sim you don't have to roll oh, he just like get an info.

Speaker 2:

Dump on something, oh oh, okay, I'm gonna make that as a note. Um, I shake the, I shake my ring. What was he attached to? He? He was just attached to us. I shake an object I believe to be tied to Philo Sim and I'm like, hey, philo, philo, and he just appears behind me A little box of Tic Tacs. Yeah, they're literally just breath mints from the guy's lair that I took Sir Galen. Uh, Sir Philo, hey Philo.

Speaker 1:

Professor Sim.

Speaker 2:

Professor Simulacrum.

Speaker 1:

Yes, for what do you summon me for?

Speaker 2:

What this and I point to the stone golem.

Speaker 1:

What this? Ah, what a interesting specimen.

Speaker 2:

Spachemin, I think, is how you pronounce that word, spachemin. Wow.

Speaker 1:

I am consistently confounded by the things you say, galen, from another time. Is that a rough?

Speaker 2:

week gigantic, my like sting hump from another time.

Speaker 1:

Is that a rough week? Can I point to something Gigantic?

Speaker 2:

My sting hump yeah.

Speaker 1:

I'd say it's full of histamines. You've gained another growth. Yes.

Speaker 2:

Yes, I'll name him. Join us for the naming ceremony later.

Speaker 1:

Well, what you found here is a stone golem. These are created by magicians. You see, really, there aren't many magicians left in the world. I'm sure you know that, so he must be quite ancient.

Speaker 2:

Interesting to find him here on the road out of Marshgate. I'm going to ask the golem like hey, what's your name? Interesting to find him here on the road out of Marshgate, I'm going to ask the golem like, hey, what's your name? Oh.

Speaker 1:

Got it All right.

Speaker 2:

So nice to meet you. You just taking a nap here. What's what's going on?

Speaker 1:

What are you doing here? I don't remember. Well, all I remember is my master. Who is your master? Tully Hooch, tully Hooch, tully Hooch, tully Hooch.

Speaker 2:

Tully Hooch.

Speaker 1:

Tully.

Speaker 2:

Hooch, tully Hooch. There's actually a wizard who would just yell Tully Hooch Every time he sped off on his broomstick, because that's what they do. So your master was Tully Hooch. Did Tully Hooch live around here?

Speaker 1:

Ah, tully Hooch. Did Tully Hooch live around here? Ah, tully Hooch, I've heard of this name.

Speaker 2:

Oh, tell us more, philo, tell us everything.

Speaker 1:

From the ancient kingdoms of Eppolai. Wow, I think it's. That is egregious, you can't you can't.

Speaker 2:

That's egregious. You have to be the one to carry the real names.

Speaker 1:

We are the creators. I'm role playing dude, I know. I'm just saying.

Speaker 2:

That's crazy. There's a region of it called the Pauly Shores. He must mean it to lie, and I automatically do my lore check and it works. Oh my gosh.

Speaker 1:

I always get the pronunciation on these things wrong. I spent most of my time reading books. Yes, you read, but you didn't speak right. I know how that is pronunciation on these things wrong. You know, I spent most of my time huddled up reading books yes, you read, but you didn't speak right.

Speaker 2:

I know how that is.

Speaker 1:

Epo-li. Epo-li.

Speaker 2:

Yes, the ancient human kingdom. That's crazy. Was that around here? No, no, no, it was to the.

Speaker 1:

that's crazy was that around here? No, no, no, it was to the northwest, but you see, all of Eme. Well, in the middle kingdoms they were connected in a way.

Speaker 2:

Oh great the empire was quite influential, connected in a way.

Speaker 1:

Oh great, the Empire again. It was quite influential.

Speaker 2:

Wow, well, tully Hooch. Sorry guys, my internet keeps going in and out. No worries, I was just waiting. I could see you're frozen for a second.

Speaker 1:

Yes, I believe Tully Hooch was sort of a hedge wizard.

Speaker 2:

Hedge fund wizard.

Speaker 1:

I don't know what you're talking about.

Speaker 2:

Constantly challenging anything that's in that door outside. I don't understand. I don't know what the hedge wizard is. Who is this sorcerer Madoff you speak of? Why would you manage? Sorcerer Madoff, it's really good. He was a lich, was he not? It's really good, he was a lich, was he not?

Speaker 1:

The golem says, I must return to Tully Hooch.

Speaker 2:

I say we have to bring him All the way north to Eppley.

Speaker 1:

Well, I mean, what would be the point? Tully Hooch is dead, no doubt. I mean, it's been thousands of years.

Speaker 2:

Those wizards are crafty, say Gollum mind if we call you. Dan.

Speaker 1:

It's Dan now.

Speaker 2:

That's an idea. An pleasure to meet you Dan now. So, dan, you know Tully Hooch is probably not around anymore, are you sure?

Speaker 1:

you want to go looking for him, or maybe you want to.

Speaker 2:

You know, start up anew, try out a new life. A new life, a new start.

Speaker 1:

The Dan story, but what will I guard?

Speaker 2:

Well, for one, we're headed to a place called the Crack. There's a new bridge being built there and there's going to be lots of people coming in and out and they pretty. I'm sure they would appreciate having someone big and strong to guard them and their and their travels. Plus, we know a guy. Tell me, dan, do you like yodeling?

Speaker 1:

I know not of what you speak.

Speaker 2:

Well, journey with us a time, and soon enough you'll hear the dulcet tones Of Sven the yodeling troll. We'll take you to a place where we think you might fit in perfectly.

Speaker 1:

Galen, no one seems to understand you. You say these words Yodeling.

Speaker 2:

Ah, you may remember it as yodeling, yodeling, yes. It's a form of song.

Speaker 1:

Yes, from the ancient region of Yodel. Yes, yes, note to self, make the ancient region of Yodel. A thing, philo Sim actually has no idea what you're talking about, but he's acting like he does. He's like acting, yeah, oh yes, yes, of course, like acting, yeah, oh yes, yes, of course, yes, yo dad, uh, yo dad, was the uh the origin of this?

Speaker 2:

uh, this, this, this conversational undulating of the, the UV line, the vocal cords, like at this point, like I'm just you like at this point, like I'm just you know, filling him with what's another word for it? Fluff. I just like I'm spouting stuff off the top of my head and trying to like give like sound smart in front of philo techno, babble, techno, babble. Yes, I'm a technomancer. Tune in at 2 pm today for my Outriders Technomancer video on twitchtv slash Land of Eam. That's true, you can't tune in.

Speaker 2:

You can't tune in but stay here. Yeah, so that's, that's Philo, and I get into deep conversation as I make up more facts about the land of Yodel deep conversation as I make up more facts about the land of Yodel.

Speaker 1:

Dan follows you as you continue your journey. Where do you go?

Speaker 2:

We go to 2516 apparently. Oh, I accept, that's cool. Does it seem like he's given up on his desire to return to Tully Hooch?

Speaker 1:

He seems this utterly confused and disoriented. He'll stop and just stare at a caterpillar on a rock for minutes if you don't push him.

Speaker 2:

He's a gentle giant, impervious to all forms of damage. I want to know how Dan got down here. This has become the quest.

Speaker 1:

How did Dan get down here?

Speaker 2:

Do you remember anything of how you may have gotten down here, dan, or why you were here?

Speaker 1:

I remember lights, bright lights.

Speaker 2:

Bright lights. I think he was abducted by a UFO. Even I don't know what that is. Could he mean like a city?

Speaker 1:

And then darkness, forever darkness.

Speaker 2:

When he says forever darkness, it just like tugs at the heartstrings of Galen. That sounds like a horrible thing Just emotionally, mentally, physically, to be plunged into forever darkness. Tell us about your master, Tully.

Speaker 1:

He was a man.

Speaker 2:

Yes, yes, yes.

Speaker 1:

Yea, I had a beard and mustache dot s, you wore a hat hats are cool.

Speaker 2:

I can picture him almost he was a learned man.

Speaker 1:

He was my father. Picture him almost. He was a learned man. He was my father and master.

Speaker 2:

Bright lights and then suddenly dark. Maybe it was when he got pooped on when it suddenly dark, maybe.

Speaker 1:

There were others like him.

Speaker 2:

Oh, other magicians.

Speaker 1:

And a long journey.

Speaker 2:

And a long journey. I said Dan why I'm tired now. Okay, alright 200 years now. I'm going now, okay.

Speaker 1:

Alright, I'm going to rest here. He just stops and becomes like a nerd. Yeah, yeah, and it's remarkable how much just like a regular rock he looks like.

Speaker 2:

It is remarkable. That is remarkable. It is remarkable. Do you think he's actually going to sit here for another hundred years or whatever? I mean, maybe until the morning Should we just camp? I know we're close to the crack and it's inviting trouble, but I've become attached to Dan. Yeah, let's, I know, so am I. I've become attached to Dan. I want to make sure he has a happy life At least the crack. He can hang out with Sven and other people. Yeah, you can box Yaljax and win always.

Speaker 1:

Smash their heads in. I'm sorry.

Speaker 2:

I didn't know. He just picks up the limp Yaljak. Yaljak pizza. Specialty of the crack.

Speaker 1:

And pizza was invented, yeah. Oh gosh, that's so grim. That's so grim, that's so grim.

Speaker 2:

You want the hair or teeth he starts out so peaceful and charming and we just turn him into a monster everything we touch turns into like a horrible, horrible mess. I know like where was this guy when we had to fight that giant mutated ogre? Holy cats.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

It would have been like Godzilla versus Kong. Yeah, really opposable thumbs on an ape. That's all he's got going for him. Godzilla's going to.

Speaker 1:

He's a nuclear reactor, it's true, hey, how's it going, hello, bill.

Speaker 2:

Hi, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome.

Speaker 1:

Welcome.

Speaker 2:

Welcome to the land of Eem. Well, I don't know, george. I say we can't, I don't want to leave him out here, unless he's going to be frozen for a thousand years. Yeah.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, so you were only able to manage to go one hex before he stopped.

Speaker 2:

Okay. So, Except, except. I mean I guess we were in Marshgate so we would have to go back to 2616?.

Speaker 1:

No, no, you can move north. One hex. What is EIM Tell?

Speaker 2:

them Benny.

Speaker 1:

Eny is our fantasy world and we've uh created some comics called rickety stitch and the gelatinous goo. We're working on some other projects and this is our rpg that we set in the world. It's called land of eem and, uh, we're playing. We've been running this campaign for months now Play, testing the game. This is the map. That is a hex map that you explore. You can actually download the game right now. I'll get the link for you.

Speaker 2:

To put it simply, it's like D&D, it's a role playing game it's focused a lot on creative play over having to fight everything all the time, which makes it a little bit different.

Speaker 2:

So and tonally it's a little bit like the Lord of the Rings meets the Muppets. Like Ben said, we're testing that. We're playesting the game right now because we're going to be releasing a Kickstarter in September and if you're at all interested, you can check out landofheemcom slash Kickstarter for updates, and there's also more stuff about our graphic novel series, rickety Stitch and other projects we're working on. It's true.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, this is our own game.

Speaker 2:

I'll stop saying that at some point.

Speaker 1:

So I've just linked where you can go sign up for the email list and as well as the quick start guide.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, you get the free quick start guide when you sign up and you can check it out. You can check it out.

Speaker 1:

Check it out, check, check, check it out. So Nightfalls as oh.

Speaker 2:

Oh yeah, I mean it don't matter, it's all free right now.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it's free.

Speaker 2:

Even if you don't like kickstart when they eventually release it. Right now you can get and read through the beta RPG start guide and everything, and it's all entirely free for you to check out. You can join the Discord as well. Chat with people about your experiences with it, Give us feedback on how you're going to play Tesco.

Speaker 1:

You could start up a game. Get someone to run a game for you on the discord. Um, they're, yeah, you don't. You don't need money right now, you just need the will to play. The will, indeed, um, okay so you guys camp. What, uh, you guys talk about?

Speaker 2:

um, I mean, I say riley, what do you think? What do you think? The land of what was it again? Epali, epoli, epoli, I believe all right if you say so.

Speaker 1:

I don't think I mean.

Speaker 2:

That's not what epoli is what philo said, right, I mean he's pretty smart, he's book smart uh, well, you know, I gotta be honest, I'm like really interested in dan. He seems like a pretty gentle, giant, nice guy and uh um, kind of sad in a way, and I'd love to somehow bring him to a place where he could feel comfortable and kind of jumpstart his life well, I mean he had what may have been millennia of darkness after the bright lights.

Speaker 2:

I mean, who knows how long he's been sitting there covered in bird poop. Galen still thinks it was the bird poop that caused darkness. We all know it's not that, but that's what he thinks. Galen's convinced.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it must be, it's scientific.

Speaker 2:

I'm going to be sitting like on the knee of the guy of Dan still scrubbing away some of the last bits of bird poop with a toothbrush while we're having a conversation.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I just want him to be happy. Can a golem feel happiness? I don't know. He seemed kind of sad and if he can feel sad then maybe he can feel happy too. Can't argue with that logic. And what better place than the crack? Because Sven's a pretty nice guy and he seems that Dan seems like his purpose is to guard stuff. So fulfill his purpose and still give him some, uh, some love. Maybe, you know, we can do a little bit good in the world. A little dab will do, yeah.

Speaker 1:

That's what Zodienbach writes. Galen had one profound thought one of the only few times that zonienbach was kind of zoned out and that's all, yeah, yeah it's actually.

Speaker 2:

It's actually the title of the next uh article. He sends to the magazine a little dabble doble Do.

Speaker 1:

Ya, it's called.

Speaker 2:

Zoned Out A Little Dabble Do Ya it's like Z-O-N apostrophe D, we'll release that Kickstarter in 2027. Yeah.

Speaker 1:

It'll be a one-shot adventure.

Speaker 2:

A Little Zoned Out.

Speaker 1:

I love it, as you guys are, uh, sitting there around the fire um, you see, well, make, make perception checks oh boy, let's see what.

Speaker 2:

I saw Ben rolling and I was like 13 baby, 13, I totally do Galen doesn't even bother. He's like he's actually been 13, baby 13. I totally do. Galen doesn't even bother. He's been looking at the caterpillar that Dan was looking at, trying to figure out what it means Exactly. What does this mean?

Speaker 1:

Riley, you hear the unmistakable hissing of Sarpathy.

Speaker 2:

Oh no, galen, get your sword out. The Sarpathy are here. I don't even get my sword out, I get my axe out. It glows red with ferocity and anger. I'm going to climb on top of Dan to get a little bit of height and swing my sling around and be like Dan. Now would be a really good time to wake up. Riley spends the entire battle trying to wake up Dan.

Speaker 1:

Within seconds, the Sarpathy have converged upon your little camp. In the flickering light you see five Sarpathy Warriors. Oh, man.

Speaker 2:

When we hear them, I whistle for FB and mount my Tortoise ready for combat.

Speaker 1:

One of them snarls and says you have a shipment that does not belong to you.

Speaker 2:

We have a lot of things that don't belong to us.

Speaker 1:

Why do?

Speaker 2:

they care about the lumber. It's true, galen wasn't even paying attention to that part. He's like, yeah, we have a lot of stuff that doesn't work. He looks at everything he's wearing. What's it to you, snake face? Yeah, yeah today we found out how snakes laugh.

Speaker 1:

You've rubbed too many people the wrong way. It's catching up to you.

Speaker 2:

That's the same thing I was going to say to you and I like to do an air high five to Galen. Galen just like, doesn't even look. He gives a no look return. It's like glaring at these guys at this point, regretting that all his scars are on his back so he can't intimidate them.

Speaker 1:

Um, so obviously this is a conflict. Yeah, um yeah, did you want to try to parlay? I know you've spoken to them, sir. Anything in particular you would like to sway them towards, you'll have one chance at disadvantage.

Speaker 2:

I was going to just try to intimidate them and make the goons run away. Unless, riley, you want to talk. Yeah, if you want to talk with them, first go for it, and then yeah, I accept what's a shipment to lumber to the Sarpathy. Anyway, they're like it's wood. It is wood.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I accept what's a shipment to lumber to the.

Speaker 2:

Sarpathy. Anyway, they're like it's wood. It is wood, it's got the electrolytes we crave.

Speaker 1:

Wow, there are many players in the Mucklins.

Speaker 2:

Oh.

Speaker 1:

I see they have forged alliances.

Speaker 2:

So are you working with Brink? Is that what you're saying? Is that what I'm hearing?

Speaker 1:

Believe whatever you want.

Speaker 2:

Um, alright, then this is your last chance to surrender.

Speaker 1:

I'm not sure you know how this works, rat.

Speaker 2:

I say she's a shrimp and I intimidate them. Or is that our only parlay action?

Speaker 1:

I don't know, I wasn't really parlaying, I was just trying to get information out of these guys any way that I can. I love it.

Speaker 2:

I want to try to capture one of these guys, if possible too so George are you?

Speaker 1:

using an ability.

Speaker 2:

I am using an ability, it's commanding presence roll plus intimidate once per session. Impress or frighten npc out of combat or group of goons without saying a word. Um, you know, success means the npc will be respectful and amenable. I care less about that's not. You know. I care more about goons will keep their distance or flee from combat. Try to thin out their numbers a little bit. Okay, do you accept?

Speaker 1:

yeah, you'll have disadvantage, it's fine I put on my bulwark helmet.

Speaker 2:

I glare at them all ineffectually. It would be a six. That's actually a six, might I could give you one plus one. I don't know Six might be enough, because it's four plus two is the lowest one. I always forget that these work on a six plus.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, the goons in the group. They're ordered to attack and they kind of back off from you.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I look pretty menacing. Atop my war, tortoise Red axe gleaming in the moonlight, giant bee hump yeah, it's actually the bee hump that intimidates them more than anything.

Speaker 1:

Okay, cool.

Speaker 2:

And then should we show a roll initiative.

Speaker 1:

That will be your action.

Speaker 2:

Action. But what about Riley's? I said Riley can roll initiative. Yeah, I make them flinch. Nice, use your quick short sword. Are you going to use the lucky slinger? I'm going to use the sling.

Speaker 1:

So there are two of them that remain and go towards you, while the other three kind of hang back and then the leader is still there as well or was that?

Speaker 2:

included in two. Oh, there were five of them. Oh, sorry, I see I want to sling one of the ones approaching Nice. Which one, the leader or the goon? I missed, but I re-roll the attack because it's lucky. Oh my God, you're getting them all out now, it's fine.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, that's exactly how this works, you know, you gotta get all your bad rolls out.

Speaker 2:

I didn't. I didn't accept a blessing from Bernard either.

Speaker 1:

I should have said how dare you, how dare you?

Speaker 2:

You offended our God.

Speaker 1:

Bernard, what is your? What's your total Two and three? What is your total Two and?

Speaker 2:

three, Three is my total.

Speaker 1:

Actually Disaster strikes as Riley's shot goes wide. Well, it's a failure with a plus. Maybe in their effort to dodge you set me up for a better attack next round. Maybe I'll just roll a d6.

Speaker 2:

How dare you? It's a tough one.

Speaker 1:

You miss, but you're able to guard a vulnerable ally.

Speaker 2:

Alright, as much as I want that to be me, perhaps in this case it's Dan. Yeah, you know what I mean.

Speaker 1:

I'm guarding Dan.

Speaker 2:

My thinking is that Dan is asleep and vulnerable. Yeah, you'd be on brand for Riley.

Speaker 1:

Okay, okay, sorry, sorry, they come charging towards both of you.

Speaker 2:

My hit points are 23 out of 23. With my armor my hit points rather, oh no, sorry, 22. So 17 plus.

Speaker 1:

First towards Galen 23.

Speaker 2:

That's a 4. As he throws himself on my sword, a 4 does not hit.

Speaker 1:

It misses but disrupts your planned attack or action. I guess you don't really have one.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yep, yep, yep.

Speaker 1:

He attacks again oh.

Speaker 2:

Baby, why you hit so hard, Yep, oh my gosh. All right, I'm mounted, so I have one block and I will raise my shield, so I have 1d4 block as well. All right, maybe I can mitigate this. Let's see. That's times two, though.

Speaker 1:

It's ten.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I only take six. What is he attacking with Ben?

Speaker 1:

It's a combination of his Claws and fangs and he actually sinks his teeth?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, do I need to make a vitality check? It's a combination of his claws and fangs and he actually sinks his teeth. Do I need to make a vitality check?

Speaker 1:

You do Freaking.

Speaker 2:

Sarpathi. I hate these guys so much they're bad news, Alright. I mean that's six. It's not the worst.

Speaker 1:

It's just enough. You get away before you pump his venom into you.

Speaker 2:

As I pull away from his bite, you see just this ichor spraying out from his fangs. It would have gone into me otherwise.

Speaker 1:

Like sizzles on your shield.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, oh my gosh.

Speaker 1:

I have to toss it away from you before it melts through like a storm.

Speaker 2:

I love it. I love it. Good thing, my shield is indestructible, otherwise that would actually happen. That's amazing. Your shield is indestructible, I believe, so that's awesome. Uh, yeah, sturdy, it cannot be broken it.

Speaker 1:

That's awesome, that's perfect. Now on Riley. That is a hit. Okay, alright.

Speaker 2:

Ben, was that the main guy who attacked me, or do they both have fangs and all that business?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, they both have it.

Speaker 2:

Oh God bless.

Speaker 1:

That is two dread. Okay, accept, and then you're attacked again. Two dread. That would be a hit with a counterattack.

Speaker 2:

Ooh Buckle is swash. Riley Buckle is swash. Can I switch weapons on a counterattack? Yeah, I'm going to smack him with the halberd and be like from on top of Dan, it's a six.

Speaker 1:

Minus one defense, so you could use a quest point to hit with a counterattack though.

Speaker 2:

I will do that. I will continue the counterattack train.

Speaker 1:

Let's see.

Speaker 2:

It's five dread.

Speaker 1:

Okay, okay, he counterattacks me. Oops, it's me. Bye Five, greg. That is another hit with a counterattack.

Speaker 2:

Oh, my good lord, this is awesome. Oh, because you guys are going back and forth, that's right.

Speaker 1:

Seven.

Speaker 2:

Oh, stout Heart, I don't know if it's.

Speaker 1:

Not yet. Yeah, I'm at Not yet, Galen Not yet.

Speaker 2:

I'm at ten, so I'm not too bad All right, I'm going to counterattack him.

Speaker 1:

Dang it Four.

Speaker 2:

Okay, that will be a miss. I yell out for Sklunch. He hears me in Orchstai. He comes running. He hears me in Orchstai, a hundred miles away. Yeah, he'll be here three days from now.

Speaker 1:

I, I've been meaning, I forgot.

Speaker 2:

Um, I want to use those Um it's never ends Well when Ben wants to use something those aspects that we created.

Speaker 1:

Champs like aspect of the tiger.

Speaker 2:

Yes, like fighting styles, they know. Kung Fu. The aspects yes, Like fighting styles. They know Kung Fu.

Speaker 1:

The aspects. Ah, like it.

Speaker 2:

Are you rolling?

Speaker 1:

away from your desk.

Speaker 2:

It's just so exciting.

Speaker 1:

Now my keyboard was acting up.

Speaker 2:

Ah, yes.

Speaker 1:

Anyway, George, this is location aspects that will better influence misses and stuff.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, cool. Okay so since we're fighting in the USB forest versus yeah, if we were in Orchmire, for instance, there'd be something, yeah, so I'm going to choose.

Speaker 1:

Crumbling Ruins were in, like Orchmire for instance, there'd be something. Yeah, so I'm going to choose. Crumbling Ruins is one. You've taken camp near some ruins.

Speaker 2:

This is just out of the scene, out of the Princess Bride as Manny Tinkin fights Karyo giant fissure works great because you're near the crack.

Speaker 1:

That's so great.

Speaker 2:

Tinkin' Fights. Karyo's Giant Fissure works great because you're near the crack. That's so great.

Speaker 1:

How close are these guys to the edge of the Giant Fissure, Ben? I knew you were going to ask that I mean.

Speaker 2:

it's just the Gotta, push them in.

Speaker 1:

I mean you're all close.

Speaker 2:

I think I know what my action's gonna be. Is it? Have they finished pummeling us with their teeth, and or can I roll initiative?

Speaker 1:

Sorry, yeah, you can roll initiative.

Speaker 2:

Sorry, yeah, you can roll initiative, we're dead. Nine, nine, nine, nine, nine. I go second.

Speaker 1:

That means, James, you go first.

Speaker 2:

Alright, I'm gonna halberd, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna halberd. We gotta start setting up traps when we camp Six. I think that's a miss if you don't have a quest point. Actually, yes, I will use a quest point, I have plenty, I keep forgetting. Okay, and they counterattack, so hopefully you kill one, four dread.

Speaker 1:

Four dread is not enough to kill it.

Speaker 2:

Alas, alack, what do you mean? Alack, what do you mean?

Speaker 1:

But that is not enough to hit you.

Speaker 2:

That is correct, okay.

Speaker 1:

I got a whole lot of, I'm going to say. However, when you back away, you trip over one of the rocks of the ruins, increasing your defense by one, which is bad. That's a bad thing.

Speaker 2:

That's bad. I'm already plus one.

Speaker 1:

Okay, now they attack.

Speaker 2:

Oh, come on.

Speaker 1:

Oh crap, Critical hit to you, Galen.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I think I'm going to be down. Oh, no, I can. We'll see I might be able to shrug it off. Okay, I shrug it. I try to shrug it off. To take only half damage. Nope, that wasn't a real roll. Sorry, ah, but that was just enough. Okay, I only take. So it did 14, and I only take 7 damage.

Speaker 1:

Okay, but you also have to make a vitality check to avoid poison. Stop it, well done.

Speaker 2:

I'm expecting it this time and I'm able to jam my arm into his mouth and his fangs close around it.

Speaker 1:

But don't do this, yeah yeah, another attack against you oh come on. That's fine. That's three dread Okay.

Speaker 2:

If these guys, if we hadn't scared off the goons, we'd seriously be in trouble. They would have just murdered us.

Speaker 1:

Right against Riley.

Speaker 2:

Oh boy, come on, counterattack Nice.

Speaker 1:

Four, I'll take it. Do another attack.

Speaker 2:

Seven. Okay, you definitely hit. So the one I mean the four missed with a plus right. So the one I mean the four missed with a plus right snags my foot and I slip off of Dan.

Speaker 1:

I don't know them. Having plus three is like nuts well, I was just adding the extra plus one.

Speaker 2:

I'm plus one already, so I'm they can yeah yeah, I get it I mean miss.

Speaker 1:

With a plus, you fall into the ravine and die. Yeah big boy rules, you know um, let's just say you're continually stumbling backwards towards closer to the ravine, the fissure it deals three dread to you and you can counterattack okay counterattack.

Speaker 2:

I do not do you miss with a plus. What's your bonus? Plus two, zero. It's a disaster. Okay, I fall into the ravine you miss and accidentally hurt yourself oh my god, yeah, this goes on for five minutes, as the serpathy stare say you take a point of dread all right, all right, I'm beginning the game. Riley, we're very like irritated because we're gonna get captured by serpathy and lose our shipment. It's going to really suck.

Speaker 1:

It's going to be a lot of fun. It's up to you, Galen.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, we'll see Is the one who's not taking damage close enough to perhaps knock into the ravine. I will be using my tortoise for this.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Okay, come on, come on, girl, let's get them Roll plus attack. It was, it was, it was, it was a 12. Ha ha.

Speaker 2:

I was like I thought I had rolled without the D when I typed it. But no, FB, in a moment of glory, perks up and charges this Arpathy who's been harassing me. Perks up and charges this Arpathy who's been harassing me. She stops short, Tokyo Drift style, slams the side of her shell into him A little hip shimmy. So he takes D10, Dread, he's minus one, so that might only be an 11, huh, that is true. No, I'm adding a quest point. I just want to make sure my counting is correct. I will add a quest point. No, I'm adding a quest point. I just want to make sure my counting is correct. I will do that and she will deal D10 damage times two, so eight damage and knock him down or over.

Speaker 1:

Okay, I'm going to have him make a nimbleness check at disadvantage.

Speaker 2:

No, it's fine, I don't care. God, of course he did, it's fine. It's fine, he took a damage. You knock him over.

Speaker 1:

He like falls back, but now he's like hang on okay, fb stomps on his fingers repeatedly.

Speaker 2:

we'll see how next round is, because there's still the. Okay, fb stomps on his fingers Repeatedly. We'll see how next round is, because there's still the other guy who might kill both of us in one fell swoop. That's crazy.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, do you want to do Roll?

Speaker 2:

initiative. Is it the leader that we knocked in, Ben or?

Speaker 1:

is it?

Speaker 2:

the Okay 12.

Speaker 1:

Oh sorry, or is it the uh okay? 12?

Speaker 2:

oh sorry oh, 11 noise, so how?

Speaker 1:

do you guys want to do this?

Speaker 2:

so I kind of want to charge the serpathy that's still standing standing and tackle him over the edge.

Speaker 1:

Then I'm going to use the hang glider. Gone straight into danger. So, given the succession of events, you were kind of being pushed back towards the edge, so you'd have to like maneuver him, or something I'm gonna like.

Speaker 2:

I'm gonna reach out and grab him by the belt and like, pull him over with me, riley, yeah um, okay, because I've got the. I've got the collapsible hang glider. I want to like whip that thing out. Okay, I've got the collapsible hang glider. I want to whip that thing out and swoop out of the ravine.

Speaker 1:

I think you'll have to make an attack. Yes, as well as a might check.

Speaker 2:

Ooh, I hit.

Speaker 1:

With a counterattack.

Speaker 2:

Hmm, oh dear, he slashes your hang glider.

Speaker 1:

Oh man, That'll do it. Two dread.

Speaker 2:

Well, wait Okay. I must resist being poisoned so so I mean riley's action has no benefits yet, like prior to that counterattack, no I don't resist I rolled a three okay, um, you are wounded and take one dread for the rest of combat each round.

Speaker 1:

So imagine this you yeah, yeah grab him, he bites you.

Speaker 2:

You can still make a might check to enact your plan um, I'll, I will before you make the my check, don't roll it, I will. Uh, however, you're minus one also because you're wounded now I'll inspire you real quick as a free action and, um, I should have saved that for my attack roll, uh. But yes, I inspire you. You get plus two to your check before it's rolled. Okay, so I'm plus one. Seven check before it's rolled. Okay, so I'm plus one.

Speaker 1:

Seven. Okay, success. With a twist, he is gripping onto my ankle. Hmm, all right, all right, all right, let's. Uh. Well, you guys went first.

Speaker 2:

I yeah, but the I think we agree. The inspiring order didn't use my action. Right oh okay, yeah, so we're. I'm falling in the ravine yeah, like wrestling the sarpathy and he's got his mitts like on my, on my shirt. He's like god, he's like gripped on me. I can't get, I can't disconnect. Yeah, ben, are these guys wearing metal armor?

Speaker 2:

no, okay, darn um metal weapons no, it's fine, gonna cast heat metal on them and burn them to death? No, uh, oh, it's very dandy. All right, all right. Well, do you think I could sweeping strike and hit both of them like the guy on Riley's ankle? I'll say if you get a nine, Sure, and then can I play test this right, can I combo sweeping strike with mighty blow?

Speaker 1:

I would say no.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, it's probably a bit better off that way. I attempt my sweeping strike. It's an eight. I use a quest point it's a nine. Okay, so it hits Oned4 plus one enemies, which is the minimum is going to be them. Like both of them, I wish that we could turn that into multiple attacks, but that might be too powerful. You know, if it was instead of attacking adversaries, it was you gain. Yeah, I don't know. Food for thought, uh, so let me roll some damage food for wolves that's maximum damage, that's a 10 nice um to both of them.

Speaker 2:

Do I just chop this guy's hand off and he falls from Riley's? I just chop everyone's hands off.

Speaker 1:

I think that makes sense. Yeah, you sweeping strike, hitting them both. Riley the Sarpathiani loosens its grip, but you'll still have to pop your hang glider. Meanwhile, the other one loses its grip on the cliff and is screeching as it falls like.

Speaker 2:

Hans. Gruber yeah, yes, we were all thinking it. I say yippee-ki-yay as I like, hit the button yeah fun fact they dropped alan rickman early when they were counting down, so his reaction is like genuine and that makes me like laugh so hard. Um, you can only try that once, uh, but but do we know if this thing fell to its death, or will it come back to harass us?

Speaker 1:

I mean, that's just a risk you're gonna have to take I'm okay with that.

Speaker 2:

I mean, I'm just I.

Speaker 1:

I find it fun to have these recurring there are three others that witness this and now run away.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, you hear this arpathia as it falls in yelling witness me the next hour of gameplay is just george and I in tie bombers like, just like yeah, before Riley has to roll her check. I will inspire once more Riley the hang glider. It works. You have plus two to your hang glider. What am I rolling? I'm going to roll this, so you're wounded, but you get plus two, eleven. I feel like that's going to work. Ten, ten, sorry, nice one.

Speaker 1:

You snap it, open and go.

Speaker 2:

I'm just going to be like Zone eight bucks running down and she took flight once again, disappearing over the cliff, and then like, everyone's like, and then swooping back up on the air current like marting fly exactly, exactly cool, cool.

Speaker 1:

You look at your shoulder and there's like a gaping sarpathy, fang, wound oozing galen is everybody okay.

Speaker 2:

And then I like pass out like the idea that you like pass out mid-flight and you just like yeah, how low were you.

Speaker 1:

I'm at four, four.

Speaker 2:

Okay, I'm also low, I don't know.

Speaker 1:

Another night in the mucklins. You know what I mean.

Speaker 2:

Just another night, Poisoned wounded yeah, I immediately start trying to suck the poison out of Riley's wound. Philo Sim appears and he's like I don't think that's how that works. I recommend this approach.

Speaker 2:

You're going to have to toe-to-get the arm and cut it off. It's like Riley's come to she's the arm and cut it off. It's like Riley's like come to she's like, hallucinating and sweaty. Do it, galen, do it. I give her like a leather belt to bite down on. I struggle to pull the saw out of my rucksack and hand it to him. None of this has to happen, but we want to replace Riley's arm with a mechanical arm, because that would make her happy. Galen wants that more than anyone. It's true, she wants me to be robocop. We can make you better, stronger, faster. Um, no, I, I mean. I lay riley down and in the distance as I'm like, patting the sweat off her brow and feeding her broth from the, the cauldron of the fire. You hear the gentle yodeling of spend, the yodeling troll. That's all I wanted to hear. But that's all I wanted to hear.

Speaker 1:

Uh, so I actually have to end it early.

Speaker 2:

That's fine. That's fine, that's perfect. Let's end it.

Speaker 1:

Yeah so.

Speaker 2:

Dan the Golem.

Speaker 1:

Yeah Dan, the Golem Sarpathy attack. You know Some unexpected. They're after our shipment yeah, hugely unexpected.

Speaker 2:

The Sarpathy are like working with people, man, like we got to figure after our shit. Yeah, hugely unexpected. The Serpati are like working with people, man, like we got to figure that out now. Yeah, they, they, uh, they're a business man.

Speaker 1:

It's like business man.

Speaker 2:

Not me, nah, I mean nah me, nah me, nah. Wow, yes, yeah, it works, it works. Uh, do you want to do XP next time? Yeah, or do you? Yeah, if you have to go?

Speaker 1:

but that's fine, just do it right before the stream next time. That's cool, cool, cool, cool Cool.

Speaker 2:

All right. Well, thank you everybody for joining us. This was another adventure in the Land of Eam. You can download it for free. You can get the quick start guide. Just go to Land of Eam dot com slash Kickstarter to sign up for updates about how you can get this game and play it and tell us what you think. And also we're celebrating the release of Rickety Stitch Book 3. So if you haven't checked it out, just go ask your local bookstore or you can find it on Amazon or check out Land of Eamcom.

Speaker 1:

All right, until next time.

Speaker 2:

Farewell everyone, Peace out.

People on this episode