Land of Eem: Actual Play
Join Ben Costa, James Parks, and George Higgins as they play the Land of Eem tabletop roleplaying game, inspired by the series of fantasy books: Dungeoneer Adventures and Rickety Stitch and the Gelatinous Goo.
Ben Costa and James Parks are the creators of Dungeoneer Adventures, Rickety Stitch and the Gelatinous Goo, and the tabletop roleplaying game, Land of Eem. They have been friends since the 2nd grade, and love making stuff together.
Lovers of fantasy, they strive to craft tales that celebrate the adventures of unlikely heroes. Ben and James grew up playing tabletop roleplaying games, creating countless characters and collaborative worlds with our pals, a pastime that paved the way for their creative careers, as authors and illustrators.
Land of Eem is a tabletop roleplaying published in partnership with indie game publisher, Exalted Funeral. and is about adventurers exploring and discovering the remnants of a forgotten better age. Described as The Lord of the Rings meets The Muppets, players portray lore-seeking travelers, fortune-seeking pioneers, and adventure-seeking heroes in a time devoid of them. But for all its post-apocalyptic doom and gloom, Land of Eem is tonally quite lighthearted and droll.
Dungeoneer Adventures is a fun, middle-grade fantasy adventure series from Simon & Schuster, about the only human kid attending the adventure school, Dungeoneer Academy. The books are packed with illustrations and available at Target, Barnes & Noble, and Amazon, or you can ask for them wherever books are sold.
Rickety Stitch and the Gelatinous Goo is a fun YA graphic novel series from Random House, about a skeleton bard and his best friend on an epic quest to discover who he was when he was alive. The books are available through Exalted Funeral or online at Amazon, and you can ask for them wherever books are sold.
For more visit:
https://landofeem.com
Land of Eem: Actual Play
Land of Eem: Fantasy Actual Play S02E19 | The Chicken-foot Witch
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What happens when an ancient golem and a well-dressed goblin kid join forces on an epic quest? Join Ben Costa and James Parks—creators of Rickety Stitch and the Gelatinous Goo and Dungeoneer Adventures—along with lead playtester and close friend George Higgins, as they dive into another action-packed episode of the Land of Eem TTRPG, played in the Mucklands Campaign Sandbox Setting and published by Exalted Funeral.
This week, our team navigates fantastical landscapes and slippery situations, kicking off with lighthearted pet stories and a discussion about XP and leveling up. The stakes rise as they meet Dan, an ancient golem created by an eccentric wizard, who might just become their quirky mailroom intern.
The adventure takes a serious turn as the group strategizes to confront Chara, a powerful witch known for her hexes, venturing west-northwest into a mysterious crack. Along the way, they face treacherous slippery stones, murky waters, and a swarm of deadly kaleidoscorpions, all while brainstorming ways to help Crunch, a cursed creature in desperate need of aid.
Packed with tactical decisions, clever riddles, and comedic moments, the party negotiates with a chicken-footed witch and a disgruntled augert named Chara, surviving encounters with bizarre creatures like the leechling of Leech Lake. The camaraderie and wit of the group shine through every challenge, balancing humor, strategy, and heartfelt moments.
Perfect for fans of Fantasy Actual Play, Collaborative Storytelling RPGs, Rules-Light Indie RPGs, and the thriving TTRPG community, this episode is an exhilarating mix of hilarity, heroism, and strategic gameplay.
Download the Land of Eem Quickstart Guide for FREE, and join the adventure today!
https://linktr.ee/landofeem
Hey OG.
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh. Hi everybody, how are y'all? Pretty good, excellent, excellent, yes.
Speaker 1:I'm so excited that you're excited. Okay, I'm really excited.
Speaker 2:My tone of voice summoned my cat from across the house.
Speaker 3:Noodle is like oh, he's excited right now. I should be there to participate.
Speaker 2:I gotta go calm him down.
Speaker 3:Meanwhile, my lizard has only proceeded to ignore me Even harder. That's okay. That's what I appreciate about him.
Speaker 1:Meanwhile, bug has not even stirred Under my desk.
Speaker 3:Means you're not putting out enough energy, ben.
Speaker 1:I would have to really go pretty crazy, hog wild.
Speaker 2:Like hey, I'm Ben Casa, your GM for today.
Speaker 1:That's how we say it anyways, really high voice.
Speaker 2:I'm Ben Casa, your GM for today.
Speaker 3:Mickey Mouse is GMing us today.
Speaker 1:All right, I mean, we're back in the land of AIM. It's session 19 of season 2. Can you believe it? How does it feel to be back?
Speaker 2:I feel great I feel how do you say in the French Awesome.
Speaker 3:They awesome.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 3:I just lost all of our French viewers with that insensitive comment.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean that was let's move on, okay?
Speaker 3:I don't think.
Speaker 1:I can. Okay, I don't think we did XP last time.
Speaker 3:I would always like to have more XP. Let me scroll to the bottom of the list. Yeah, we found a golem, Dan. He's created by magicians. His master is Tully Hooch from E Poli.
Speaker 2:Oh Josie, you crazy guy it's true.
Speaker 3:We have a shipment. That's our path you're interested in. They attack us. We throw one over the edge to flee.
Speaker 1:Phylo sim probably has comments about this um, I'm gonna say that you got, uh, easily, 40 xp, okay, trace that is, and, um, I don't know, I don't remember your like ideals and flaws and I kind of don't think you do either uh how dare you first of all.
Speaker 2:Wow.
Speaker 3:Second of all, you're absolutely right. I mean, I would say I stood my ground against difficult odds.
Speaker 2:I'm going to say that every time we're in combat, I truly and honestly don't remember what I did or didn't do.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's probably true. I mean there was Serpathy at the end.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I mean, we could have definitely run from it. We probably. I can never tell what those encounters and that's like the GM secret sauce is like. Are you supposed to run from an encounter, right, like, and if you wait too long, can you get away still?
Speaker 1:I mean are you supposed to is? I don't think you can like apply that. I think he means are you supposed to is? I don't think you can like apply that.
Speaker 2:I think he means are you opposed to?
Speaker 3:Are you opposed to running? No, I think it's always kind of like difficult as a PC, but that's half the fun is like when we fought. What was the name of the hammer?
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah, we were like yeah, yeah, yeah, We'll take this guy out right now. And then lo and behold.
Speaker 2:He destroyed us.
Speaker 1:I mean, I can certainly say that, like some situations, it's like not an expectation, like in D&D, or something that you should be able to win.
Speaker 3:Yeah. But I think at this point you guys probably have a good idea of what I I think you can handle, but like you, just sometimes doggedly just stay in the fight I mean, like all goes to black main was was, uh, not wise, let's say no, but we still triumphed Triumph. All I'm trying to say is I'm adding an XP.
Speaker 2:I have a lot of unused XP and after today's quest I will be leveling and juicing my skills and just using some of that XP.
Speaker 3:One might say the juice is going to be loose. Yeah, I have 25 XP. I'm jonesing for level 9.
Speaker 2:I could go to level 8. I'm at level 7. You're at level 9?, holy cat. No, no, no.
Speaker 3:I'm at level 8, but I maybe in like 3 quests I'll be able to hit level 9.
Speaker 2:I could do level eight, but I, I don't know, I'm like tempted to juice some of my skills again like I did, like a juicing session yeah, it was awesome, but I've only done that once and it was to get rid of some negatives.
Speaker 3:Yeah, gotta just believe in Bernard man.
Speaker 2:I'm just gonna, I'm gonna juice my athletics. Be like all this time on the man. I'm just gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna juice my athletics. Be like all this time on the road Like I'm like really fit now.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and I think that.
Speaker 2:So I don't get destroyed by the athletic stuff.
Speaker 3:But I feel like it's. It's like germane to your goal right. You want to fly, you have to be able to muscle a hang glider around. I mean be more athletically inclined.
Speaker 2:So Riley's just like doing squats and sit-ups yeah.
Speaker 1:Her trainer is named Jermaine, yeah.
Speaker 3:Jermaine, jermaine, he's a gentleman Broncos.
Speaker 1:Galen always calls him German alright, so you guys are at the edge of the crack, right at the edge of the crack. Basically, you'll have to get to the center of the crack. Oops. Basically, you'll have to get to the center of the crack. Oops, I forgot that. I'm right here.
Speaker 3:So it's, another travel check. Venture inside the crack. I immediately begin yodeling. We critically succeed at traveling. I yodel, and then I hear the yodeling come back to me with a different timbre and I know it's Sven.
Speaker 2:We're losing every French viewer. I keep doing it. I don't know what's wrong with me. We're sorry, we love accents.
Speaker 3:I think I used the word right. I think that that is it. What am I supposed to say? Timber, timbre.
Speaker 1:I mean, yeah, we're in America and it's American English.
Speaker 2:It's a land of salad. There's many, Regardless. We're in America and it's American English.
Speaker 3:It's a land of salad. There's many. I love it, but regardless, regardless, not irregardless, regardless. I do hear Sven yodeling back to me and I follow his lovely, lovely yodeling voice, which I've come to love, as I lead us in deeper into the crack.
Speaker 1:Well, you discover something.
Speaker 3:Discover friendship along the way.
Speaker 2:And a love for French words.
Speaker 3:Okay 57.
Speaker 1:Wow.
Speaker 2:With a French steward.
Speaker 3:It's a French steward. It's a French steward from Stargate. Oh hey, what's going on.
Speaker 1:Hey, but he's still squinting so hard.
Speaker 2:He's blind. What's going on?
Speaker 3:He broke Ben.
Speaker 1:I was actually reading something.
Speaker 3:Oh, oh, oh. James Wolfe guy. Oh, I'm excited this is a discovery. Yeah, yep, it's Heinz 57.
Speaker 2:Is it a discovery that's not meant to be there? You know what I mean. Like one of those where I'm kidding around and forget.
Speaker 1:No you. On your way down into the crack, you meet a gelatinous goo. Oh my God.
Speaker 3:Gelatinous goo. It's not Mitch, oh okay.
Speaker 1:Mitch, they strike up a chat. And, Riley, you gather that this gelatinous goo's name is Jert. Is it J-U-R-T?
Speaker 3:or J-E-R-T.
Speaker 1:J-U-R-T, it's J-U-R-T or J-E-R-T, j-u-r-t, it's, j-u-r-t, oh it's.
Speaker 2:J-U-R-T. Thanks, jerk, we love you. Oh man, that's funny.
Speaker 1:And he's thrilled to encounter you all because he's actually coming up from the underlands. But you know he says that he'll join you guys for a while.
Speaker 2:Oh, interesting, a double goo party where we've got some excellent goos.
Speaker 1:And he's this is all coming from Mitch. Because, you know, you guys can't really understand Jelanus Goose, except Riley has sort of picked up on him with Mitch.
Speaker 3:Have their own.
Speaker 1:He's an accomplished rare metal finder. What Interesting he's an accomplished rare metal finder. What Interesting Where's the gold he gives, plus one wilderness to any checks to find elemental components?
Speaker 3:That's amazing.
Speaker 2:That's awesome, awesome, actually Awesome. We should totally look for elemental components.
Speaker 3:Yeah, wow. I'd like to say at this point that Gabe, the Hmong fairy creature, is feeling a little intimidated by having two goos. Yeah, yeah, by having two goos, you know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, or maybe potentially feeling more at home Because there's more organisms that are viscous and made out of jelly.
Speaker 1:That's what you like to believe, but mungs and gelatinous goo have this deep seed.
Speaker 2:That cultural hatred Is too deep.
Speaker 3:You can't overcome those racial, the racial divide between Goos and mung fairy creatures. Now, is it the mung creature or the fairy creature that has Problem with goos, the mung, the mung.
Speaker 1:Fairy creatures in love with jerk. So you follow. The sounds of yodeling Makes this journey pleasant and easy and you reach the crack. I mean you're in the crack, but you reach the building site of the bridge.
Speaker 3:The heart of the crack, if you will.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, and you see, like a whole, actually all the construction is like sort of put on hold right now. And you see Sven there sitting under the bridge in like a little compartment and he like hoists himself up and he says, hey, hey, sven, how you doing. Hey, hey, whoa, look at all this lumber.
Speaker 2:He says hey, hey, Sven, how you doing.
Speaker 1:Hey, hey, look at all this lumber.
Speaker 2:Indeed, we promised we'd bring it, and now we've got it here. Let's get to building.
Speaker 3:Science Seal Deliver, it's yours.
Speaker 1:This is great. I mean, we've just, you know, I figured you know it's been such a long time we should open up the bridge in some capacity, and so we've got this little rickety thing here going and only been a few deaths so far.
Speaker 2:It's just a tightrope. You can go for it if you want, but no promises.
Speaker 3:There's like days since last accident and it's like zero. Yeah, he yodels to cover up the screams of someone plummeting to their doom canyon is just filled with the al jack bones yeah hey, uh, look, um, I've got.
Speaker 1:You know, this is great. I mean this. I mean I couldn't be more grateful to you guys. Okay, we're going to get this going and build the bridge. But there's another problem that's kind of cropped up in the last few weeks. Yeah, and the Yeljaks, I mean they're kind of out of their minds with fright.
Speaker 3:Yeljaks frightened.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah, there's a surprised. Yeah, there's a witch. There's a witch down here, oh no.
Speaker 3:Not the one.
Speaker 2:That wants to kill us right.
Speaker 3:Shade one, two electric boogaloo. Yeah shade one.
Speaker 1:No, not shade one. They call her Chara the chicken foot witch Chicken foot witch Classic.
Speaker 2:They call her Chara the Chicken Foot Witch.
Speaker 3:Chicken Foot Witch. I turn to Raylan and say you ever had chicken feet? Yes, actually I had them boiled once. It's kind of a lot of collagen.
Speaker 2:That's true, they're mostly goopy. I'm a fan of great for dim sum.
Speaker 1:I don't recommend eating this witch's feet.
Speaker 2:We weren't suggesting.
Speaker 3:We're not into that, man Although.
Speaker 1:No, listen, it's bad for business, not only because it's scaring away a lot of the workers, but you know I'm getting the sense from people passing by that they don't even want to try coming through the crack because of this witch.
Speaker 3:I don't like anything that cuts into our bottom line.
Speaker 1:Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 3:I think we need to take care of this right now dan mount up turn to dan the golem, dan the golem yeah, I just assume he kept coming with us he did wake up, but he hasn't spoken yeah, he continues to not speak um, um.
Speaker 2:I thought, like isn't. I thought Dan was looking for like a purpose in his life or whatever.
Speaker 3:I thought we were going to give him purpose at the, at the yeah, To live with Sven the crack. Yeah, to be a guard. You can guard the crash.
Speaker 1:Yeah, what? You want this uh rock to guard? I'm sorry, I don't. You want this rock to guard. I'm sorry, I'm not following.
Speaker 2:Well, he's more than a rock. He's actually an ancient golem that was created by a wizard named Hooch.
Speaker 1:That's kind of weird. It's weird.
Speaker 2:But he's lacking purpose and we thought maybe he'd be a good fit down here, since you're such a great guy and you're both huge.
Speaker 3:He's a great conversationalist. Tell him Dan, hey, dan, dan makes sounds.
Speaker 1:Dan, where do you see yourself in five years? Huh?
Speaker 3:Dan like just looks uncomfort years. Huh, dan, like just looks uncomfortably at him.
Speaker 2:Dan literally doesn't move. He's entirely motionless. He's going to be standing there for five years.
Speaker 3:Yeah, he can picture it.
Speaker 1:He's not talking. Guys, what am I Just give?
Speaker 2:him a minute. Give him a minute, he might say something in five years.
Speaker 1:I mean, look, we'll take him in as an intern, see how he works out.
Speaker 2:Start him in the mail room.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean this is a favor to you okay.
Speaker 3:Don't we own this place?
Speaker 1:No, no, I mean, I own the majority. You guys have 2%.
Speaker 3:We're silent investors. Wow, I thought it was more than that. That's rough. Yeah, we did all this work for 2%. I take back the lumber. We leave.
Speaker 2:I put it to the torch.
Speaker 3:Yeah, no, all of this is fine. We can deal with it another time, but we should so wait. Where is Chara? Where is she based out of Some sort of like crack dungeon?
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, crack den.
Speaker 3:Crack den yeah.
Speaker 1:Wow, wow, didn't want to say it she is uh not far from here, which is the problem and why is everybody so scared of her?
Speaker 3:well, she's uh, you're listening.
Speaker 1:Wow, she has chicken, she's cast a hex on a lot of the yell jacks. She's gone on a sort of hex spree lately. Something must have bothered her.
Speaker 3:I wonder what got her feathers all ruffled. But I'm pumped, thank you, barely got through that one all ruffled, but I'm pumped, thank you.
Speaker 1:I barely got through that one. I I've heard that she is just not someone you want to cross paths with.
Speaker 2:She's a real curmudgeon well, we can go check this out, yeah any um suggestions how we can protect ourselves yeah, what is she?
Speaker 3:how is she hexing?
Speaker 1:people is like the same hex over and over again I mean, I don't have those details, but I mean she's a witch, she's got magic.
Speaker 3:You know what I mean uh, maybe we should talk to the y'all jacks and see like, oh, did you all get turned into newts or something? Or, you know, did you get better? We don't know, I mean no one got better it only got worse yeah, yeah, little yell jack newts boxing with each other, um, okay, cool. So, uh, let's say, well, where was she last seen? Or like who, which way do we go? Basically, point us in her direction.
Speaker 1:We'll take care of this as majority minority stakeholders in this operation yeah, you want to go uh just down deeper into the crack uh east all right I'm sorry, west, northwest, weest northwest and down. Okay, we're talking about multiple dimensions here.
Speaker 3:Dimension of sight and sound, dimension of mind.
Speaker 2:Okay, well, let's go check it out, man.
Speaker 3:Yeah, we leave Dan in his capable hands. Unless you want to bring Dan with us, I think we're just going to park them there for the foreseeable future.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:All right, uh, we gather the rest of our money.
Speaker 2:You know what I?
Speaker 3:mean yeah, dan has our best interests at heart. Uh, sven notices that Claudia and the lizard are melded together and he like cast them aside Long glance. It's like weird things going on in our party, with all the like among fairy creature. I don't know what these guys are up to.
Speaker 1:That ain't right. Okay, what you got there? This whole business with the fused creatures, it's bad.
Speaker 2:It doesn't stop there, Cause it's onona Inbok. I'm going to be looking for him. He's not clearly visible, but he's actually partially grown onto the top of Dan and he takes his feet off of him to come join us like they're switching cups.
Speaker 3:And then Zona Inbok, in a crude pantomime, smiles at Sven to attempt to ease his feelings, and all he does is ending up bearing his fangs that he now has after. I forget why he has fangs. Was it the goo or the?
Speaker 2:I don't think he has fangs anymore, right.
Speaker 3:I think he has fangs Like permanent fangs.
Speaker 1:We can use him in battle, like he has permanent fangsangs, we can use him in battle.
Speaker 3:Yeah, we can use him in battle, but we can't risk him.
Speaker 2:We can't risk him. It's too much.
Speaker 1:He's been with us too long.
Speaker 2:He's our chronicler.
Speaker 3:He's our chronicler, indeed. Alright, so we gather our party before adventuring forth and we move along move along, move along. Do you want to roll up a realms travel check?
Speaker 2:Sure, ooh, ooh, ooh, um, that is a five.
Speaker 3:Ooh baby, I love your way Every day.
Speaker 1:Roll a D 100.
Speaker 2:Ooh, baby, I love your way.
Speaker 3:43 43, 43.
Speaker 2:Okay, jeez.
Speaker 1:Flock of seagulls. Okay, jeez, flock of seagulls. You guys are going deeper, deeper down into the crack.
Speaker 3:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1:And you see a kid, a goblin kid, who looks like fairly well-dressed, Not like in rags or anything but he's kind of dirty. Hey kid what are you?
Speaker 3:doing down here I immediately hide my gold pouches somewhere. He'll never find them.
Speaker 1:Hey, I'm running away forever, you're running away.
Speaker 2:What for I?
Speaker 1:hate, it there? Where is there? Here, you're a dungeoneer Academy. That's funny, you don't like it at Dungeoneer Academy.
Speaker 2:I thought every Dungeoneer wanted to go to Dungeoneer Academy.
Speaker 1:I'm just no good, can't pass the tests. Everyone makes fun of me.
Speaker 2:Oh man, so you just haven't found what yeah.
Speaker 3:Go ahead. No, I was going to say maybe you haven't found what you're truly good at. You just got to find the right major at Dungeoneer Academy. I mean, every goblin thinks they're like a tinkerer, a trap maker. Maybe you're a spelunker.
Speaker 1:I don't know what that means. I see why this kid failed. Listen, you guys look pretty cool and you're the nicest people that I've ever talked to. Maybe I could learn from you.
Speaker 2:Riley wipes tears from her eyes and she'll be like can we keep him, galen?
Speaker 3:Galen looks at the two goos, the monk the creature the lizard chicken. Galen just shrugs at this point, you know, because he's not gonna turn down more people in the crew. We got Lucas the donkey. What else we got? We got Zona. Yeah, we got a Motley Crue. I say what's your name, kid?
Speaker 1:Groy.
Speaker 2:Groy or Groy.
Speaker 1:Groy with a G.
Speaker 3:Rob Groy.
Speaker 1:What are you going to make fun of me? For that too.
Speaker 2:No no.
Speaker 3:It's like a really awkward silence. We're all, just like galen's, immediately regretting letting this kid in.
Speaker 2:He's obviously too sensitive look, kid groy, um, why don't you travel with us for a little while? Maybe you could learn some things you could take back to school with you and people will think you're cool and you'll get good grades. That's the one.
Speaker 1:Wow, I guess, if they let me back in Real life, experience.
Speaker 2:Oh, I'm sure We'll put a good word in for you. We'll write you letters of recommendation, really.
Speaker 1:Really yeah.
Speaker 3:Cool, let's give him a Wow.
Speaker 2:Oh, a dagger through my heart, awesome, awesome.
Speaker 1:So should I just hang out with these goos and whatnot? Awesome, awesome. So should I just like hang out with these goos and whatnot?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, feel free to hop on the donkey, the wagon, the tortoise, or just hold hands with Zoni Inbox.
Speaker 3:Zoni Inbox smiles again, bearing his fangs.
Speaker 2:Offers his hand slowly, suctions like start pumping his life force up. Doc smiles again, bearing his fangs.
Speaker 1:Offers his hand slowly. Yeah, suctions like start pumping his life force up. Wow.
Speaker 2:Felicia. I hunger for plasma 1990s Spider-Man cartoon reference. Yeah, that's what that is. I am Morbius. Morbius, is that his name? That's his name. Moving on Morbius, that's his name moving on.
Speaker 1:Okay, you are taking this child into the horrible den of a witch yeah, hey, groy, why don't you take point?
Speaker 2:wow alright, the end of a witch hey.
Speaker 1:Groy, why don't you take point? Wow, all right.
Speaker 2:No, no, no, you walk with me, you walk with me. I'll take point.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you take point with Groy Ben. To be clear, this is now too small for FB to get down to right, yeah, okay, yeah, we follow the sound of Yaljak tears.
Speaker 2:Cool, I just registered what you said. It's just dripping sounds in a cave, but a lot.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So you just dripping sounds in a cave, but a lot. So you get to this steep slope, george, you'll have to move your map to see. Hold on, let me de-hance enhance here we go Let me de-hance, de-hance.
Speaker 2:Enhance here we go.
Speaker 3:This is a steep, slow Galen goes tumbling down.
Speaker 1:Whoa, whoa.
Speaker 2:Bad day, bad day, bad day.
Speaker 1:All right, you make this long descent and then you pick up on a gross fetid, moist smell. And you get to.
Speaker 3:It smells like wet shrimp. I look at Riley.
Speaker 1:Like some sort of subterranean bog and you see lurking in the water some mergatoads.
Speaker 3:Heavens to mergatoad.
Speaker 2:Uh-oh.
Speaker 3:Have we faced mergatoads before? I feel like we have, but it might have been a different campaign.
Speaker 2:Were they Thodes no.
Speaker 3:I think I vaguely remember this, but not as these characters, I think.
Speaker 1:So let me describe this area. You've got uh like stones set up in here. The only way to cross would be either to like plunge yourself into the water or try to hop across some slippery stones that seem to lead to a few different areas. Looks like beyond this bog there's three ways to go.
Speaker 3:A door here, a door there.
Speaker 1:And then there's like darkness beyond this area.
Speaker 3:Charlotte.
Speaker 1:Murphy to the left through the door which is more like a cavernous door. You see, like warm, colorful lights glowing okay straight ahead looks like a dark cave, and to the right it looks kind of obscured by darkness and mist.
Speaker 3:There's like a a mist flowing out I'd say if there's one thing we know about witches, they produce mist from their stupid cauldrons, because shade one was doing that all over the place you want to go straight into the mist. I don't know. Lights are pretty cool too.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I was drawn to the lights also, but that could be because it's trapped, it's trapped, you can't control the lights Follow them.
Speaker 3:Well, let's connect. We go to the edge of the water and maybe I'll throw a rock in. See what happens sure um throw a rock in and it seems to disturb the toads and they start belching and burping at you and burping at you, but can I quickly assess what is a rock and what is a toad based on the belching and blurping and maybe, like chart a path across that's?
Speaker 1:smart, yeah, but you've also gotten their attention. They're not attacking you, but they start belching and flatulating.
Speaker 3:I'm going to have both of you make vitality checks. Gross. How many days has it been, by the way, since I got mutated? 11. Three Galen just begins to wrench mutated 11. 3?
Speaker 1:Galen just begins to wrench. I don't know how long it's been.
Speaker 3:Okay. Would a 4 be any less bad? It's a failure with a plus.
Speaker 1:No. It's all yeah, so you all are plus one defense.
Speaker 3:It sounds like a good thing, viewers even though I made my that's a bad thing oh sorry, yeah, so I'm already plus one, so this one hurts yeah, you uh.
Speaker 1:It's like a stifling stench that it's hard to even breathe yeah, oh, my goodness um, and they're. They're kind of crowding up closer to you at the edge. What do you want to do? Fight them off? Um, they're not attacking, but they're like, poised them off. They're not attacking, but they're like poised.
Speaker 2:What are the chances that we could run across the toads to get to the other side? Like run across the rocks and toads, like just like I wish I knew something about Murgatodes. Like could I do a wilderness check to like learn about like Murgatodes? Like what?
Speaker 3:their deal is you can use the bearskin of trivia to make something up about them oh interesting if there's something you're thinking of like or we can do it together. It's a role. D12 plus lore lets you create a fact about a creature or critter um, yeah they really like cheese. So look, we got a bunch of brie it's french stuff, man.
Speaker 2:It's like constantly fresh that's makes me want to eat brie now I love, I love brie cheese.
Speaker 1:I love brief larson, I mean I love brie, the town and, uh, lord of the Rings.
Speaker 2:Ranching pony. What do you got to do? Why don't? I'm going to do something that George might dislike.
Speaker 3:I like it.
Speaker 2:I'm going to use the rest of the barrel of cider that I have.
Speaker 3:Oh, that's fine, I don't care, I have 40 more. It never ends.
Speaker 2:Murgatones burp a lot. But if they burp a lot, but if they burp way too much, they'll start to rocket around the room. They'll be able to control their burps, They'll start bouncing off the walls and I want to uncork the barrel and just start pouring it at them into the water where they are. Let's see if I can't Give them super burps.
Speaker 1:Are you using the bare skin of trivia?
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Alright, you gotta make a D12 plus lore check to see if it's true or not.
Speaker 2:It ain't true. What's your total? Total is four.
Speaker 1:Four Okay.
Speaker 3:It makes them burst the next burp they do turns us into skeletons like shuddering skeletons some kind of rickety stitch well, I mean it's a failure with a plus maybe the plus is that, like you, you pour the rascal cider in and they do take some time to like drink it like they enjoy it. So they're maybe they're just slightly distracted.
Speaker 1:Briefly, except they start like gulping at the water like a mega fart. Yeah, maybe Slowly To like a mega fart.
Speaker 3:Yeah, maybe the failure means that, like we have to get out of this room in like four rounds or they're going to all explode Mega farts and mega burps.
Speaker 2:Everyone will die.
Speaker 1:So, as they're lapping up at the cider.
Speaker 2:Wow, what do you do? I'm going to try to dash across the rocks towards the lights.
Speaker 3:I too am going to tap the Rockies.
Speaker 1:Wow, I'll say it's not French, either in athletics or the nimbleness.
Speaker 3:Alexander Nimble, galen grabs Gabe and Zona and the chicken and athletes across the rocks.
Speaker 2:I'm going to say come on, groy.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, you're responsible for the kid.
Speaker 1:Now that's funny he's like freezing up at the edge, yeah hold my hand.
Speaker 2:We'll go across together. I hope to god I make this.
Speaker 3:Oh no, oh no, oh god no, what happens is like you guys slip and tumble into the water and, to save yourself, you start trying to push down Groi to like get back up.
Speaker 2:Well, maybe the plus is Groi gets across, but I don't.
Speaker 3:I slip into the water. That's less exciting.
Speaker 2:It'll be like Titanic he like has to make a decision and kick me off a rock.
Speaker 3:Yeah, there's room on. There's room on the rock for both of you guys, but it doesn't matter so, galen, you made it across amazingly yeah, I know, hey, hey, that's rude.
Speaker 1:First of all, so uh it's rude, it's amazing no, I mean like amazingly, as in 12 um he backflips across.
Speaker 3:He somersaulted all the way I use my dummy thick frog legs and I just leap across which direction were you going? To the lights, we're making the worst possible decision. I think to the lights okay you make it over here, riley.
Speaker 1:Okay, so you make it over here, riley, you sacrifice yourself to get Groy across and you step on a murgatode who is just like full and fat.
Speaker 2:You just hear like a boom, you just hear like a fire around the room like a balloon that's losing the air.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so you are rocketed into the air. Love it, as it does exactly what you just said.
Speaker 3:It's so good.
Speaker 1:Um, uh, you're going to take some dread.
Speaker 3:Ooh, all right, that was amazingly lucky.
Speaker 1:Yes, but make a vitality check at disadvantage.
Speaker 3:Oh boy, there's no way this is going to work Wow. Okay, those are some good roles, boy. There's no way this is going to work, wow, okay. Those are some good rolls, man Nice.
Speaker 2:Nice, I'm like there is sweet and curse.
Speaker 1:You resist the toxic funk that would have dealt another 10d10 dread. It's a great band name toxic funk it is actually like a land of beam band but, you shoot up into the air and you plunge back into the boggy water oh, gross geez um. So what do you do? What are you doing, galen?
Speaker 3:you're at the edge with groy I'm educating groy, having him watch like riley. So you see how she did that, like that's all part of her strategy. Even though she's gonna emerge out of the water, she subdued the toad by popping it. He's trying to like really get into educating.
Speaker 2:Right now he's not doing anything to help riley as that's happening, riley's gonna be like I need help, I gotta get out of here. You gotta pull me up, pull me up.
Speaker 3:I will extend. Do I have a halberd? I have something. I'll extend the haft of my axe to reach out to you. Grab on, Riley. Grab on.
Speaker 2:Kind of far away, like you're at the edge, riley's more like in the middle, um, okay can I swim to the closest shore?
Speaker 1:um.
Speaker 3:Yes, but you will be attacked by murgatodes uh, I don't want to do this already, but I think I'm gonna.
Speaker 2:I'm gonna commanding presence, the murgatodes, I don't know, that's no, no, it's the murgatodes man new murgatodes um, I am going to uh, yeah, this should probably be like creatures or something I'm gonna use jack of all trades and say that like, oh, back in river country, like I was, like you know, second runner up for the water polo championship, and see if I can't um throw water polo balls at mergatodes see if I can't, like uh, use those skills to avoid um being smacked by you know yeah rocketing toads or whatever I want it to be like the camera pans underneath riley, who's swimming under the water, and you just see like murder toads flying across above the water, like some kind of Saving Private Ryan D-Day scene plunging into the water bubbles passing by
Speaker 1:alright. So what do you have to do? You have to roll to see if you have that it doesn't say that.
Speaker 2:I think, like I just roll, advantage for the check I'm going to so like a swimming check to avoid combat or however you want to do it, choice precision yeah, there's no roll, I just have to roll.
Speaker 1:Okay, athletics okay, uh so athletics oh man, goodness um, that's 11 all right, you definitely um avoid all of these mergatodes that are just like zooming past you. You make it to the bank of the bog and I say and that is why swimming practice is important and then, as you say that there's like this mega burp geyser that like shoots up in the middle of the pond, it's like eight toads hit each other um.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so through this door um I hand riley a towel and we continue.
Speaker 2:Thanks, Gene.
Speaker 1:You see warm, constantly changing lights.
Speaker 3:It's like a rainbow of lights dancing on the walls.
Speaker 1:Do we see the source of the lights, or is it just too beautiful? Talked to mitch and be like are these gems or what is um mitch like points to the floor and then that's when you see the floor is covered with countless uh, scorpions oh my gosh, I know these as kaleidoscorpions Wow.
Speaker 2:Kaleidoscorpions, of course.
Speaker 3:I can't hold her. How big are the scorpions? First of all, they are.
Speaker 1:You know about this big oh, so like this.
Speaker 3:Okay, so I can't hold claudia back. She immediately begins to eat them that's funny. Uh yeah, she goes like a chicken and um in the lizard part of her loves it too, because lizards, I'm sure they would chomp that scorpion.
Speaker 1:She eats one and you immediately see her body is now changing colors constantly.
Speaker 3:She looks like she got a star power up in Mario.
Speaker 1:But now you see the swarm Kaleidoscorpions. Uh go after her and she starts like hopping back towards you.
Speaker 3:The lizard breathing fire covering her retreat Say.
Speaker 1:Claudia, yeah. So what do you want to do about that, cause they're creeping towards you?
Speaker 2:Um, let's see, Do we have any?
Speaker 3:uh, I'm thinking um uh, let me see what abilities I have that can be useful here. Here it's very, very bad streaming content. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I can't, I just yeah, how can we be? Creative yeah, we do um I'm really tempted to just use the, the bear skin and trivia again and be like Riley. Riley, this is, or Groy, this is how you use this item um, it's a once per session thing uh, it's not in my notes.
Speaker 1:I'm put that in my notes so you'd have to use a quest punta.
Speaker 3:Nah, it's fine, maybe we can, maybe I can discerning eye a, I always do a crack in the ceiling.
Speaker 1:As you guys are kind of slowly backing away, you hear someone laughing from the other side of the cave. It sounds like a person and you see, in the darkness, in the lights you just glimpse like a Haggard old boggle. A haggard old boggle, nice, who also has prismatic skin Claudia now has, and he starts cackling and says, oh, you don't got much time.
Speaker 2:Oh gosh, Should we run out of the cave and take another route?
Speaker 1:I'll let you pass if you answer a riddle.
Speaker 3:Wait, he's on the far side of the cave, Ben, or he's back the way we came towards the mist. I'm sorry, I didn't hear that part.
Speaker 1:He's deeper into this kaleidoscorpion cave.
Speaker 2:He's got riddles man.
Speaker 3:I'm so tempted to use a quest point and say that Murgatodes love eating these things, and then go and grab a Murgatode and chuck it in the middle of the room.
Speaker 2:Wow, the fattest one, the one that's got the biggest fart.
Speaker 3:Yeah, all right, I say. I say fine, what is your riddle? Is it the answer time, man?
Speaker 1:No, no, no. Listen, if you drop a yellow hat into the sapphire sea, what does it become?
Speaker 3:One guess A green emerald.
Speaker 1:Wrong.
Speaker 2:It becomes wet, you idiot.
Speaker 3:Ha ha, wrong, it becomes wet, you idiot. That's the exact conversation.
Speaker 2:That's exactly what happens that's exactly what happens and Galen looks at Riley like with a scalp sorry, I should always leave the brains to you.
Speaker 3:Groi immediately is like oh my gosh, even I knew that one.
Speaker 1:The swarm of kaleidoscorpions starts to reach you and they attack.
Speaker 3:I sweeping, strike them all.
Speaker 2:There's like too many it's uh, can I?
Speaker 1:they're creepers, so it means like you can't really attack them, you just have to deal with them or avoid so I have an idea.
Speaker 2:I have an idea, I'm gonna take my bedroll and like like, lay it up on top of them and try to run over them Just like toss a wet blanket on them, kind of thing and then run over the top of them Straight for the buckle.
Speaker 1:Okay, you can do that after you are attacked.
Speaker 3:Okay, oh Hmm that was the end of Galen.
Speaker 1:Galen, you have a plus one plus two now from them.
Speaker 3:Well, how long does the burger toad penalty last?
Speaker 1:I'll say it's still going. Since you're in this, you're still in that place yeah okay, uh, so riley, you are hit. I believe that is uh I am critically hit. I am at some 20. Oh my good lord.
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh.
Speaker 3:Even with your temporary hit points.
Speaker 2:I'm knocked out.
Speaker 3:Galen sighs.
Speaker 1:Come on guys Follow me yeah.
Speaker 3:Oops, the last thing out of Riley's mouth is wet you idiot wet Galen, you take six dread, all right 22, 23.
Speaker 2:Actually I could Stout Heart.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that would have been a good one, Stout Heart but I couldn't read it because it was sideways.
Speaker 2:Oh, are you going to start it? Yeah, totally, I will totally start it.
Speaker 3:Sorry, big boy rules.
Speaker 2:Riley's dead End of quiz.
Speaker 1:So you got to roll it now I will succeed.
Speaker 3:Really, really, really, really what.
Speaker 1:I succeed, I live. So what does that do?
Speaker 3:again reduces the dread to one oh, ben, I'm sorry, I'm gonna block with my shield all right.
Speaker 1:Uh, both of you start um changing colors.
Speaker 2:You have prismatic skin amazing um, it'd be horrible for sneaking up on the witch.
Speaker 1:Wow, wow so what do you want? You said you wanted to like use your bedroll. Yeah, I figured, because I fell in.
Speaker 2:I've got a bedroll. It's wet, just like drape it over them and just Scramble across Towards the boggle, put him in a headlock.
Speaker 3:Galen's like. Perfect, then I can chop his head off.
Speaker 2:No, we're not going to chop his head off. We're going to feed him to his scorpions.
Speaker 3:Yeah, me and Groi, high five, we're going to turn.
Speaker 2:Groi into a super boy yeah that's true.
Speaker 1:Alright how do you want to make that happen?
Speaker 2:I don't know, like a nimbleness check, maybe An attack, an attack or?
Speaker 1:Maybe like. Maybe an attack, an attack, or Maybe like rolls from both of you.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 1:Like you, I imagine Galen would propel you guys. I don't know.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that would be good. Ben, is this still considered combat?
Speaker 1:Yeah, that would be good. Ben, is this still considered combat? Yeah, could be.
Speaker 3:Okay, I'm going to inspire us, so we get plus one. All our checks during this phase of combat. It's inspirational. I say, groi, this is how you do it, and I immediately throw Riley into the middle of the scorpions. That's what you wanted, right? No, but how does how do you want to play out so I can kind of like propel Riley holding one end of the bed, roll or something, and then well, you're all getting on it right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, it's like, uh, like a sled, I don't know.
Speaker 3:Oh okay, okay, sure, that's fine. Then let me hopefully athletic this. Uh, it's a seven. I might take some damage while I'm propelling us yeah, makes sense.
Speaker 1:And r you nimbleness?
Speaker 3:yeah or I haven't. It's an eight actually. You're plus one for my inspiration. You know, what I'm gonna do actually.
Speaker 2:I will use a quest point to make it yeah.
Speaker 3:I'll use a quest point to make it a nine. Nine, yeah, because I inspired us.
Speaker 1:So I'm plus one on top of the plus two, and then I'll quest a punta okay, you guys, uh, by the skinnier teeth, flop this wet bedroll, propel yourself across the cave floor. Um right, you can feel like the clattering and crunching of kaleidoscorpions underneath the bedroll. And you make it to the other side and there's the one-tooth boggle sitting on the rocks and he's kind of like shocked.
Speaker 3:I say, like I'm heaving and panting, and I say I have a new answer wet you idiot.
Speaker 1:I said I was sorry, galen, I didn't mean to call you he says oh hey, just don't hit me, don't hit me, don't hit me.
Speaker 3:Groy hit the man, wow oh my god, Don't hit me.
Speaker 1:Groi hit the man Wow.
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh, don't hit him. No, don't punch him. Groi, don't listen to Galen, anymore. Come with me.
Speaker 3:Galen's become hard and hard to steal Thunderblade. Call me Thunderblade. Call me Thunderblade. Call me Thunderblade.
Speaker 1:What brings you Into the lair of the chicken foot witch?
Speaker 2:Chicken foot witch has got everybody Scared. We want to Stop her from scaring people.
Speaker 1:Why would you want to do that?
Speaker 3:Why would?
Speaker 2:you want to live here Because scaring people's bad. And then I like do this to them like See, that wasn't so fun, was it? Why would you want to live here? Because scaring people is bad? And then I like do this to him, like See, that wasn't so fun, was it?
Speaker 3:Well, this is the most fun I've had all week.
Speaker 1:Wait the part where we got attacked by scorpions is the part where she scared you.
Speaker 3:Well, you know, it's all part of the same thing, you know.
Speaker 1:The same encounter, if you will, yeah this is one encounter.
Speaker 3:I am but one of many encounters Gross, I say wait, wait. Why do you live in? Relative like why isn't the chicken foot witch bother you? Why are you living here?
Speaker 1:We've got, you know, a simpatico, you know what I mean Simpatico. I don't bother her and she doesn't bother me.
Speaker 2:We're friends Did you tame all these scorpions.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:That's pretty amazing, I gotta say.
Speaker 1:Thank you. Finally, someone appreciates my work I step on a scorpion.
Speaker 3:No, no, I don't, I don't, I don't. Claudia does eat one, though, again that's just nature. You can't blame her for that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's natural um I'll say like you know you would you would be fantastic in a dungeon I mean it's supposed to be I mean like a corporate sponsored dungeon, one that that's sole purpose is not just to terrify people but to guard treasure and important documents.
Speaker 3:I love it. I say we might have a. Oh, that's true.
Speaker 2:I say, we'll do the paperwork for you. We'll be back in 30 quests.
Speaker 3:Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1:Look the right offer's on the table.
Speaker 2:I might consider it, but my setup's pretty great Keep it in mind, I'll tuck in my card into his pocket.
Speaker 3:We get like a referral bonus from SPL yeah.
Speaker 2:Just tell him. Riley and Galen sent you Anything we should look out for next. I mean, we want to go talk to the witch, but this place is kind of I don't know, perilous.
Speaker 1:No, it's smooth sailing From here.
Speaker 3:I say I believe him.
Speaker 2:I'm like oh okay, I mean you guys. Passed the hardest part, which is me got it, got it, so the rest is a breeze just this way, then yeah, keep going just straight into the water straight into the water.
Speaker 3:Don't come up for air, alright? Well, groy, that's what's called negotiation.
Speaker 2:I'm up for air, all right. Well, groy, that's what's called negotiation. That person might be, you know, have a big future for themselves. They may not always be a fan.
Speaker 1:Are you sure you was telling the truth?
Speaker 2:I mean, Groy, you got to learn how to trust people. You gotta learn how to trust people.
Speaker 1:You say this as you Walk into this other area or you see more water.
Speaker 2:I say it as I Fumble. I'm gonna fumble and plunge directly.
Speaker 3:Oh nice, okay, fumble. I'm going to fumble and plunge directly.
Speaker 1:Oh nice. Okay, galen and Groy watch as you just stumble into the water like face first, and, riley, you come back up gasping for air with a leechling attached to you.
Speaker 2:Ooh.
Speaker 1:I don't notice it at first.
Speaker 2:I'll just be like and you gotta watch where you're going.
Speaker 3:Your face the thing. Oh, Kuroi, don't look, it's.
Speaker 1:Let me pull up the picture. Got one of these attached to your face, oh you got.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, not sure. Oh, holy k, I will switch to my screen real quick technology whoa. Look at that. That's some art that's gonna be in the final version what is that?
Speaker 3:is that koolAid dripping out of their mouth? It's.
Speaker 1:Kool-Aid yeah, it's Kool-Aid. It's by Sean Cairn and Mostly Ghostly, who's doing a lot of creatures. You should check him out.
Speaker 3:It's a creature feature, you know.
Speaker 1:Okay so that's sucking on my brain.
Speaker 2:That's sucking on your brain. You guys are in a conflict, straight into it. I am going to aside from panic. I'm going to try something that I don't know if it'll work. I'm going to try to stuff my last salted meats into its mouth, hoping that it has like an adverse effect like salt on, oh, like salt and leash.
Speaker 3:Yeah, um, you lose your arm in the process uh, it starts, uh, chowing down on the meat.
Speaker 1:it doesn doesn't seem to have any adverse effect on You've only made it stronger.
Speaker 2:At least it's not chowing on meat. I gotta get out of the water.
Speaker 1:So that was your action. Are you going to make an action, galen, or are you going to attack or perhaps try to wrangle this creature in some way?
Speaker 3:Is it still on Riley? It's near Riley, it's like gobbling up the meats. What else does the room have in it? What does it look like, ben, before we get fully locked into combat?
Speaker 1:It's got more leaflings.
Speaker 3:Oh are those mushrooms.
Speaker 1:Mushrooms.
Speaker 3:Hmm, nice, do the mushrooms just like go along the edge to the other side of the like? Can we clamber across the mushrooms? Um, you would have to cross the water oh, like we can't go on top of these over here like around the edge like you would have to um perhaps make uh, this way towards it, there's, it doesn't go oh, meet the edge.
Speaker 3:Okay, I, I understand, I understand. Um huh, I think I'm gonna make. Do you want to? I feel like we should like from these things. I feel like it's going to get messy. I want to discerning, I that the creative weakness or vulnerability in someone or something with a line of sight for narrative purposes. I want to make a vulnerability in the leeches in that in so much as they tend to stay away from the mushroom and any mushroom spores, so if we can get across to there, we can safely traverse, like around the leech lake, like it would just do a very short dip into the water okay is that cool?
Speaker 1:yeah, I mean it'll help you for a while oh, I see.
Speaker 3:Wow, yeah, I see the one that's on land now. Um, uh, I still want to, I still want to do it, and maybe we can like take some of the mushroom spores and like rub it on ourselves and definitely not contract a terrible disease. But, uh, mushroom spore and mushroom aversion is the name of the game for this. Check, let's see.
Speaker 3:Uh, it's an 11 nice, nice I say, uh, look look at the way they stay away from those mushrooms. There's none of those leeches over there on the other shore. Let's, let's, if we can just get across real quick grab a couple of those mushrooms and use them to fend off the leeches wow, you notice all that, mr galen. I say it's Thunderblade. No, yeah. I say yeah, groh, you got to use your environment to your advantage.
Speaker 1:All right, so that's not really an action. It's kind of like noticing something.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I think my action is to flee across the water to the mushrooms or I can you know what? What this will be what I do? I'm gonna intimidate them into attacking or only coming after me so that everyone else has clear passage to go across do you have? Um, maybe I could duel them. Is there? How many leeches are going to attack us?
Speaker 3:I mean, that's not something you would know, but there's one that has emerged okay, uh, yeah, I think I will duel it to kind of tie it up so that everyone else, like in the group, can cross safely.
Speaker 1:Okay, sounds good.
Speaker 3:Gouda.
Speaker 1:I say Riley.
Speaker 3:Riley, I'll keep this thing tied up. You grab some mushrooms and come back and rescue me when it's on my face.
Speaker 2:Um, okay, I will. Uh, you want me to grab mushrooms?
Speaker 3:so riley's already acted this round yeah, so then I'll, I'll, I'll jump into, like because we're going to go into combat, and then I'll activate my dual ability and it will just focus on me, okay if that may.
Speaker 3:Yeah, all right, so then I'll roll a perception check to see if I go before it. I do not, I'm going to use a quest point to go before it, otherwise I think it might take a pot shot like it'll eat groi. Um, so one out of three, I have a six. Now I activate. Activate my duel, duel, duel. We will only be able to attack each other for 1d4 plus one rounds, so five rounds. We're locked in Mortal Kombat.
Speaker 1:Dun dun dun, dun, dun dun dun dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun dun dun.
Speaker 3:All right, and I attack it with my axe and I critical it. Whoa Big swings baby, big swings Five. I do ten damage plus one and it starts to bleed.
Speaker 1:You slay it, you chop it in half, ha, and then like the blood of the leech, like pools out into the water. And then you start seeing the other ones oh, like going after them, it's like a frenzy.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I say quickly cross cross now. And I also will go across Does that end combat, ben, or does it just mean there's more combat now?
Speaker 1:Well, no, you can make it over to the mushrooms like your plan. And then I mean but you've attracted it's like you know the murgatodes. They were like are aware of you and like staring at you.
Speaker 2:Oh, I thought it was like a feeding frenzy.
Speaker 1:They're going after the blood that's spilled. A little bit of that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, a little bit of that.
Speaker 3:So, so we, we cross over to, yeah, we cross over to here, and I start getting these. Like it seems like they're quite large mushrooms.
Speaker 3:Ben, yeah, all right, seems like they're quite large mushrooms. Ben, yeah, all right, I'm gonna feed of strength and start pulling a couple out so everyone can like carry one like a shield almost that's funny. Um, it's 13, it works. I rip out a ton of mushrooms and I start handing them out appropriately like sized appropriately for each person, and I tie one to Claudia Zona. Inbok is a mushroom, so he doesn't need like to worry about leeches apparently.
Speaker 1:Well, I mean, there's specific mushrooms over here, yeah, okay.
Speaker 3:I give one to Zona he's. He's horrified because it says if I had slain his cousin how?
Speaker 1:how could you do this? I do not understand.
Speaker 3:It's symbiotic, you know. We eat them, then we go to the bathroom and that gives them nutrients.
Speaker 1:Can't you hear him screaming?
Speaker 3:Can't you hear the birds tweeting?
Speaker 2:That's the most horrifying thing uh it's
Speaker 1:not perceptible to our ears.
Speaker 3:It's like zona imbach, retreats to the shadows and all you see are his fangs and glowing. They have betrayed me. I, I remember you Galen. My closest friends.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, Okay. So you're all armed with these repellent mushrooms and I assume you slowly make your way.
Speaker 3:Yeah, we form a phalanx using tactics and we're an impenetrable. What do they call it? Testuda, testuda, yeah, tetsuo tactics and we're an impenetrable. What do they call it?
Speaker 1:testuda, testuda, yeah testuda, the, the leechling that was kind of basking on land, perks up and is like sees this and approaching phalanx of mushrooms and like plops back into the water.
Speaker 3:I love the idea that like oh yeah, claudia, clicking in rhythm, there's so many of us, it actually looks like a small army with, like mushrooms, shields and spears sticking out.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so over on the land there is a locked door oh, a locked door is that?
Speaker 3:oh, I see it like right here. Yeah, um we. We rotate the shield formation to facing outwards from the door, while riley works on a lock yeah, they're sort of like those ghosts in super mario like you have to keep facing approached yeah, turned around yeah that's awesome.
Speaker 2:Say riley, riley, door yeah.
Speaker 1:I'm on it.
Speaker 3:Groy, pay attention, you learn lockpicking right now.
Speaker 2:Now. Groy, I got like lockpicks hanging out of my mouth and I'm just like let me show you I don't do it. It's a four, but it's just funnier. It's a total failure. Yeah.
Speaker 3:You're. You're so engrossed in like telling Roy how to pick a lock you don't notice the trap on the door, or something.
Speaker 2:The siren that's like yeah.
Speaker 1:Um, yeah, so you fail to open it. Um, and then you hear. I mean, the plus was that you hear something approaching. Before it approaches. There's something large approaching from the other side. It's stomping.
Speaker 2:Oh geez, sven is that you. It ain't.
Speaker 1:Sven it's not, it's not. So what do you do in those like moments?
Speaker 3:it's quick, everybody hide yeah, yeah, we, oh, yeah. How about this? We conceal ourselves on either side of the door with the mushrooms, like everyone's holding. Yeah, we're just like yeah, so the leeches won't come and get us. And then we're like totally hidden by the mushrooms uh, both of you make um sneak checks okay, I say, this is uh minus one oh good, so I'm.
Speaker 3:I'm only minus two. Then I do it. I say, uh, riley, I might need a hand with this. I'm only minus two. Then I do it. I say, riley, I might need a hand with this. Oh, a six is not bad.
Speaker 2:I think it works.
Speaker 3:No, I mean it's above a, or is it? I need it at nine. This is a plus with a drawback, or something.
Speaker 1:It's a success with a twist. Maybe the twist is that a baby leech is now on my leg yeah, I was gonna say like you're sitting there hiding and then like attaches itself to you um, guys, don't look, don't look don't look, you guys hide. Just go with either side of the door. The door opens and you see like a hulking wug, like the body of a wug but the head of a pug yeah. I'll show it on screen because it's, you know, it's classic it's classic yeah, crunch the pug.
Speaker 3:Wug um James. Should I push him in the leech water? Oh my god um.
Speaker 1:You've got a leech attached to your leg, george, so um. I accept um, it deals three dread to you I block it with my shield you can't you know, I'm sorry um.
Speaker 3:Is this considered a new combat or no? I guess this is out of combat, so it's not.
Speaker 2:I don't have temporary hit points.
Speaker 1:I wish that I had the magic yo-yo still oh, the pulmos met yeah wow, that would be so good right now um uh, george, make a metal check to see if you can just like keep quiet. If that's something you want to do like, are you waiting until the sky?
Speaker 2:I think I kind of want to push him in the leech water I want to get behind him and like lock the door on the from the other side okay, how about this?
Speaker 3:yeah, I'll, I'll use. Have I used feet of strength already? I have right no, I have okay, I'll use a quest point to use feet of strength again and I'll knock him into the water, and then we'll go on the other side and lock the door.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 3:And I'll just, and then I'm not going to worry about making a metal check to stay quiet, I'm just going to. There's all these things. Everyone, everyone's cool with.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:I say Riley, now everyone's cool with. Yeah, I say Riley, now that's a seven. All right, I have an idea for a twist. What is it? As he goes splashing into the water, it launches another leech onto my head. What?
Speaker 2:You're like leech is sucking on your blood.
Speaker 3:I'm like Roy don't look, don't look, roy Don't look.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 3:Help me through the door. Help me through the door.
Speaker 1:Yes, this happens. Um crunch the pug wug splashes in um. You have a leechling on your head and your leg uh you take three dread and another three because it's the one on your leg is still sucking on you.
Speaker 3:Sure. That's six dread Ben. Could I still have my temporary hit points for my armor, or because this is out of combat? No, I know that's kind of murky territory.
Speaker 1:I just yeah, I mean we could treat this as the same combat. Okay, then I'm at 17 out of murky territory.
Speaker 3:I just yeah, I mean we could treat this as the same combat. Okay, then I'm at 17 out of 23. Cool, thank God. Um, I say well, riley, riley, the door, as we stumbled to the other side of the door and slam it shut.
Speaker 1:Uh, this is all muffled thinks yeah like, but there's a leech attached to his head. Yeah, um, groy, groy pulls you in because you have no idea what's going on yeah, um, I ben.
Speaker 3:Can I grab my axe once we get inside and then turn on the molten metal or the heating thing and burn them off me?
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, I do it. Yeah, when you do that, they explode. They explode. Both of them recoil in fear from the burning axe and shrink into the corner. Interesting.
Speaker 3:We've learned something new about leeches.
Speaker 2:They don't like the heat.
Speaker 3:You can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.
Speaker 1:This is actually their weakness. That's amazing. It's in the book.
Speaker 2:Now, we know something. We know things.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:All right, I'm going to gonna go. Can I lock the door behind?
Speaker 1:yeah, uh. What do you want to do, though?
Speaker 2:like you can keep them at bay can we chase the leeches out the door and then lock it yeah, that's a good idea, just like hurt him out with the heat yeah, yeah, yeah, all right, you see um crunch like flinging. Yeah, that's a good idea, just like hurt him out with the heat.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah, get out of here. All right. You see Crunch like flinging leeches off of himself and like climbing out of the water. Okay, we got to eat.
Speaker 2:We got to close the door. I'm going to booby trap the door.
Speaker 3:Close the door. Close the door. Close the door.
Speaker 2:What is in the room that we're in?
Speaker 3:There's an oven and uh like cookies or something yeah, there is an oven.
Speaker 1:There's like a bunch of skulls on a shelf oh my gosh. Um, there's a butcher knife with particles of meat.
Speaker 3:It's magical, I take it, I have a new weapon.
Speaker 2:Wow.
Speaker 3:GMing himself.
Speaker 2:Yes, Kitchen of Horrors is filled with magical butcher knives.
Speaker 1:One of the skulls like most of the skulls are just skulls but one of them wearing a hat with a plume in them, sorry, a feather-plumed helmet.
Speaker 3:Otherwise, they're all different types of animal and people skulls.
Speaker 2:Interesting. Can I toss the butcher knife into the oven so no one can grab it and use it against us, just in case that thing gets back in here, sure?
Speaker 1:you hear someone call from the door, you're like Crunch, what is all that racket? Would you quiet down?
Speaker 3:I say Riley, Riley, make a whimpering dog sound.
Speaker 1:Okay, Riley.
Speaker 3:Like a trickery check or something.
Speaker 2:Yeah, make a trickery check or something yeah, make a trickery check oh, don't forget your helmet oh yeah, don't you worry, gotta get that plus one ten.
Speaker 3:Yes, yeah it's like a really apologetic oh, quit your whimpering.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 3:So she's in there and she's pissed, but she suspects nothing.
Speaker 2:She suspects nothing we have. We have attacked all the patch.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I uh take the plumed helmet and put it in my bag for later identification.
Speaker 1:Cool, uh, then there's a massive thump on the door and it's obviously crunch Bang on the door, Um on the door and it's obviously crunch banging on the door.
Speaker 3:Um all right, uh, let's see I really thought the leeches we can't get in though because I guess he didn't have a key he doesn't have opposable thumbs, he can't possibly use a door. No, I'm kidding, it's fine, so we're okay.
Speaker 2:We just don't want to bash the door down. So, um, I'm gonna move like the table in the center of the room and like a bunch of furniture, just like, yeah, like, comically, pile a bunch of stuff in front of the door he starts barking and thumping louder when the voice from the other room says Crunch, I told you one time.
Speaker 1:And then the door swings open.
Speaker 3:We all just like we're, like pushing tables, like Moving furniture from the doors.
Speaker 2:You're like pushing tables, Like ugh Moving furniture from the doors. Hey.
Speaker 1:What is going on here?
Speaker 3:Dinner Riley.
Speaker 1:Well, where's Crunch?
Speaker 2:Crunch is in the other room. He took a dip.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, I know Intruders, huh.
Speaker 2:You could say that, or you could say we are the hand of justice, okay.
Speaker 1:What's your beef with me?
Speaker 2:You've been scaring all the Aljacks and scaring everybody over at Sven's Bridge.
Speaker 1:Well, I don't like all these people here.
Speaker 3:We've got your eviction notice.
Speaker 2:Yeah Well, they're not bothering you.
Speaker 1:They're not bothering me. I can hear the construction.
Speaker 3:Ben, do we know?
Speaker 2:know, I totally understand that it's usually over in about two to six months I say, look, lady, we, we got.
Speaker 3:We got permits. We've been zoned by the city. You can go, take it up with the lawyers and dunk.
Speaker 2:We're putting the bridging it's gonna bring a lot of business. I see that you've got a kitchen here.
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, you could Standing in the kitchen.
Speaker 3:Right, yeah.
Speaker 2:A lot of skulls, I mean what do you make here?
Speaker 3:Do you sell stuff? Maybe you can set up a what's that thing Like a stall on the side of the road for the bridge and sell your wares.
Speaker 1:Hex people you don't like. That's an idea. Why don't I start now? She flicks her hands. Oh gosh.
Speaker 3:I cut her hands off.
Speaker 1:Both of you make metal checks.
Speaker 2:Oh boy, a metal check. That's hardcore stuff, mm-hmm.
Speaker 3:Seven. Okay, you feel funny, but but all my jokes sucks, oh okay oh dear, uh, let me see somebody seven.
Speaker 1:Um, okay, you are Seven, seven. Okay, you are Riley, you take five dread.
Speaker 2:Okie dokie.
Speaker 1:And Galen. You take two dread.
Speaker 3:Okay, is this a new combat, ben?
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:I don't think we ever established whether the armor just restarts it Like an additional five. I've been doing it Not that way. Okay, like one, like five for the session.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Probably makes more sense to do it that way than like yeah, that's cool.
Speaker 3:So I have 17, I have 15, 23.
Speaker 1:Um and you're minus one attack against Chara.
Speaker 3:Chara, chara.
Speaker 1:All right, uh, combat ensues, yeah yeah, uh, you could um try to parlay or you can do an action or something you are going to yeah, I'm gonna try to probably. All right you distract her while I sneak up behind her uh, uh, did I show you what she looks like no, you should. You should show us so she is, uh a gross old augert, uh wrinkly and haggard, with chicken feet. She's wearing a tutu.
Speaker 3:Yeah, a Desmond tutu Level 5 bruiser.
Speaker 1:So there you go. That's who you're dealing with.
Speaker 3:Hey, there's a dungeon map.
Speaker 2:It's a beauty. Oh, whoops now we know all of your secrets bow before us.
Speaker 3:What do you do?
Speaker 1:so I'm gonna say like hey let's not get crazy here.
Speaker 2:there's no need to fight like we should talk this through. If you don't like all that construction noise, well, maybe we can come to an understanding. The bridge is almost done. We just delivered the last shipment of lumber, so I'm sure the noise will stop soon and no one will bother you.
Speaker 3:Make an inspire check um can I inspire Riley real quick? I just yeah, and you're gonna have disadvantage okay, um, you do not gain any inspiration from me, galen. Galen thinks about it, but that's a four A four. Like a flat four. Oh yeah, that's with your bonus, I see.
Speaker 2:That's with my bonus. I can get it to a five.
Speaker 3:Yeah, shoot.
Speaker 1:Okay, that is a failure with a plus. I'll consider it over your dead bodies.
Speaker 3:Um, so I mean you're, you didn't really offer her much and you're just saying you're, you didn't really offer her much and you're just saying, offering a different point of view. I say, I have, I now have an idea, I have. How about this? I say, yeah, we can soundproof your sleeping quarters. How about that?
Speaker 1:um, hold on, I do it, hold on, hold on. I guess I want to resolve this parlay.
Speaker 3:Hold on, caulfield. If we deafen her, then she can't hear the construction sounds.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm sort of at a loss of what to Of what. The Interpret that, as you know what I mean.
Speaker 2:Maybe it gives us.
Speaker 3:Like an opening to attack while she's considering.
Speaker 2:Or an opening to counter, like a counter parlay, like she's listening but not. You know what I mean. She's receptive Receptive.
Speaker 1:No, you'll have to do better than that. So, Galen, you could try that now.
Speaker 3:I say we'll give you this small child.
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh Guys Don't even.
Speaker 1:That's something that would definitely work.
Speaker 3:I mean, I didn't say just kidding, no, no, really. I'll say, okay, what if we use some of those mushrooms out there to soundproof your room? Not only that, that, they smell great. You can write out the rest of this uh racket for the next month or so and then become a minority stakeholder in the bridge's operations. You gain 0.5 percent of profits. The prophets.
Speaker 1:Everything you said sounds awful, until the last part. Oh man, the child, no, the steak.
Speaker 3:I mean, we could theoretically give her a subset of our prophets, but I would rather just combat her and be done with it.
Speaker 1:Well, listen here.
Speaker 2:If you want a stake, you don't just get a stake for existing. What could you offer after the bridge is done?
Speaker 3:Various hexes hex accessories.
Speaker 2:Hex accessories. I'll sell hexes Galen, make your check.
Speaker 1:Accessories Jalen make, make your uh check.
Speaker 3:Oh, it was uh. What kind of check again. Inspire. Um uh or charm, if you want, oh um God, I haven't been using my ridges to play, I think. Oh God, I haven't been using my ridges to. I just try to figure out if I still have my penalty.
Speaker 1:I haven't been using my ridges.
Speaker 3:No, no, you know what I mean. Like my mutations, I just haven't figured out. If they're still going, I'm going to say they're not going, I'll give myself a penalty. Okay, I think I'm at minus two to my charm. Check if it's a six all right.
Speaker 1:she says uh, um, I will. All right. She says, I will, I'll stop. I'll stop cursing people If you give me a cut.
Speaker 2:That's pretty good.
Speaker 1:I'll stop cursing People to cross the bridge. Okay, so we'll, you'll only curse people Half a percent, and you. Let me curse one of you.
Speaker 3:Can it be a fun curse?
Speaker 2:I'm gonna. I'm gonna like, go boldly into danger right now. I'll be like, look half a percent and I'll let you curse me, but anybody that comes to you looking to get their curse cured, you gotta cure them.
Speaker 1:Oh, except you dang it.
Speaker 2:I didn't mean that holistically, but I was totally gonna use the loophole.
Speaker 3:Except you Dang it, I didn't mean that holistically, but I was totally going to use the loophole and you got to give us a magical hoard to seal the deal.
Speaker 1:A magical hoard, I mean, I could give you something. I just I really got to get a curse off my chest Something real juicy.
Speaker 3:She can curse the boy. No, she can't curse.
Speaker 2:You can curse the boy here. Wait, wait, wait, he's nothing but a slab of meat. Can she curse Gabe?
Speaker 1:That thing is already cursed.
Speaker 3:Oh gosh. I say don't listen gabe, don't listen look, I'll take the curse.
Speaker 2:All right, I just you just gotta when people come when people come to you in need. I want to be able to say if you're cursed, go to the, go to chara's house at the crack and you can charge them for lifting the curses yeah, you can charge them. Just people. There's a lot of people out there that are cursed and need help.
Speaker 1:I do need more money.
Speaker 2:It's a business.
Speaker 1:I've become so Well. I used to be much more beautiful.
Speaker 3:I mean those legs. They go on for days, they're hideous.
Speaker 1:You're mocking me. They're long, they're hideous.
Speaker 3:You're mocking me. They're long. Everyone loves long legs.
Speaker 2:Well, I mean everybody, you know.
Speaker 1:Anyway, that's besides the point. Let me curse you All right, curse, curse, curse.
Speaker 2:I'm going to squint and take it Roll a.
Speaker 1:D100. Six.
Speaker 3:Real quick, real quick. If I dive in front of the curse, does Riley still get XP?
Speaker 1:You're just trying to game the system and both get XP Basically.
Speaker 2:I don't think it's like a laser okay, no, no, I like this.
Speaker 3:I like galen tries to dive in front like he jumps across. That's great and and it doesn't matter because it's not a yeah, it's not like a projectile weapon, so Galen needlessly throws himself across. It's an empty gesture, but Riley appreciates it.
Speaker 1:Uh, bray of the beast, you have a goat head and speak only goat language.
Speaker 2:No no.
Speaker 3:Riley.
Speaker 1:No, riley, riley Classic.
Speaker 3:I look at.
Speaker 2:Galen and a single tear drops down my eye. She claps like so excitedly.
Speaker 1:My finest work yet. Oh, you'll make a perfect pair with crutch.
Speaker 3:I gently pat Riley's new goat head and I say, alright, I know what the next quest is.
Speaker 1:End scene oh, you can rummage through this old treasure box. Oh man. You can rummage through this old treasure box, pick one thing out.
Speaker 2:Hey, man, pick the thing that ends a curse.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that would be hilarious actually.
Speaker 2:It's like a 1 in 4,000 chance.
Speaker 3:We should have just killed her.
Speaker 1:We should have just killed her.
Speaker 3:I turn to Groi and I very seriously say this is why you don't mess around with parlaying. You just kill them and be done with it.
Speaker 2:I'll take Groi and be like Groi hides behind my leg.
Speaker 3:The goat lady is scaring me. Her eyes look creepy. This is a fun day the goat lady's scaring me.
Speaker 1:Her eyes look creepy. This is a fun day. I mean, you think that you could just kill me?
Speaker 3:I mean, it's not that easy.
Speaker 1:Mr.
Speaker 3:Night Errant. I just immediately turn around and mighty blow. Oh wow, I don't. I take the magic item for the sake of getting a magic item.
Speaker 1:Roll a D200.
Speaker 3:Do you want to roll it Riley? It should be yours for taking the curse that was a brutal curse.
Speaker 2:I don't care, I'll just roll it D200. You do it. I can't ever remember. I'll just roll it. Okay, d200. You do it. I can't ever remember how to roll dice 110. 110. 110.
Speaker 1:Okay, let's see 100. 100. 100.
Speaker 3:110. Hunnits A hundred A hundred.
Speaker 1:You find a mossy blanket.
Speaker 3:Oh joy, I say. Have you ever seen one of these before?
Speaker 1:Ah yes, oh yes, this is a mossy blanket. You see, these were used in the Great Hatch War many centuries ago. Yes, I've seen a few specimens such as these. It's a rare find. Bugbear soldiers would use these in the Great Hatch War Standard issue, you see.
Speaker 2:and they excel in any climate.
Speaker 1:Okay, secure your, secure yourself to the ground, snugly as a bugbear in a rug, as it were. Also can be used unconventionally to hide oneself in certain mossy terrains. Conventionally to hide oneself in certain mossy terrains.
Speaker 3:Anything else, lady? Anything else, lady. I don't feel like a lightsaber or something. I kind of use it to cover Riley's head a little bit and I say, yeah, that works, that works, that's fine we're fine.
Speaker 1:Indeed, you are quite the lucky one, galen.
Speaker 3:I'd feel much luckier if I could get my friend uncursed here. But you know oh, yes, that that won't buff out.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I'm chewing on one of my own ears.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Now, how do we want to work out this uh payment situation with the bridge and whatnot, uh, you can check in with uh Sven once it's opened.
Speaker 3:Uh, I guess you can take a percentage of my percent. I'll go fill out the paperwork with him.
Speaker 1:All right. Well, Crunch will escort you out for the premises.
Speaker 3:Oh, I don't know if Crunch likes us very much right now.
Speaker 1:Crunch will do as he's told.
Speaker 2:Does Crunch not want to be cursed anymore?
Speaker 3:How interesting we ask. We have Crunch ask.
Speaker 1:You would have to do this Like furtively.
Speaker 3:How dumb is Crunch?
Speaker 1:Very, how dumb is crunch very very uh.
Speaker 3:Um, I don't speak dog or he only, you only speak goat now, yeah, um, maybe after, as crunch escorts us out, I'll strike up a conversation with him.
Speaker 2:Don't we need to have lunch with Wapdoodle.
Speaker 3:I feel like we always need to have there's always a standing lunch.
Speaker 2:That guy can speak to animals at least.
Speaker 3:That's true. Wait, you want to bring Crunch to this guy?
Speaker 2:Well, he's the only person I can think of that can translate. Oh, oh, oh. No, I think that Crunch understands Simple human commands to this guy.
Speaker 3:He's the only person I can think of that can translate. Oh oh no, I think that Crunch understands simple human commands. Mm-hmm, yeah, he's like a dog, yeah.
Speaker 1:I mean, he's like a smarter dog.
Speaker 3:He's like a mog, he's his own best friend.
Speaker 2:Pot man, pot dog, I'm my own best friend.
Speaker 3:Sorry, I was just making a note about striking a deal with what's her name again Chara, chara. So as Crunch escorts us out of earshot, with Chara the Witch, I'll say who's the good boy? Crunch, who's the good boy? I start rubbing him behind his ears. I say Crunch, crunch, do you want to be a wug again? Do you want to be a wug, you want to be normal again? Yeah, yeah, okay, okay, all right, boy, okay, go ask Chara, go ask Chara to turn you normal.
Speaker 2:This is my favorite part of the quest. Make a charm, check Go ask Chara Go, ask Chara to make you normal Ugh Ugh. Oh my gosh.
Speaker 3:He's too dumb. He's too dumb, he's too dumb zero, he's just he gets all excited and then just starts licking himself.
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh he had his chance could have been a one again zero.
Speaker 3:He had his chance. Could have been a one again. It's hilarious.
Speaker 1:Zero, he's cursed.
Speaker 3:It would have been better if I had rolled up a newspaper and threatened to hit him on the nose.
Speaker 2:He's cursed forever.
Speaker 3:I'd say it was a good try, riley, if only you had been able to talk to him. And you hadn't left it in my hands. I put a bell around Riley's neck and a rope and I say come on.
Speaker 2:And I like Charlie Brown it.
Speaker 1:I'm just like yeah, yeah, um, yeah, you uh make your way out of the witches Hubble back to the crack. Um, roy is kind of uh, shaken by all these events, like things were looking pretty cool. The whole phalanx thing was pretty awesome, and then it's like she's just a goat now, isn't that? That's terrible.
Speaker 3:I mean, yeah, but it's not. If there's one thing I learned in adventuring is that if you make a quest out of something, you can almost always reverse it.
Speaker 1:But who's going to reverse it?
Speaker 2:I just point at Galen.
Speaker 3:Thumbs up. I say, yeah, groy, you know I'm not worried about it. Things tend to work out or we die. That's adventuring.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I guess. I guess that's not something I really teach you at Dungeon Academy.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you should go back and do a well. It's not a book report like an adventure report on what you saw with us today and we get some extra credit. Pull up your grades.
Speaker 1:Are you still going to be able to write that letter recommendation for me? Like I don't know if anyone speaks goat, yeah, yeah, I'll take care of it.
Speaker 3:Zona Inbok, zona Inbok yes, zona Inbok will do it. Zona.
Speaker 1:Imbach, zona Imbach.
Speaker 2:Yes, zona Imbach will do it.
Speaker 1:He'll be the best one ever He'll make a calligraphal script.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and so it was.
Speaker 3:Groy participated in the testudo activity very well. He held his mushroom in line with the rest of the shield phalanx.
Speaker 2:It's like very procedural, isn't he sending these to Dungeoneer Magazine? Oh, that's, true so then Groye's exploits are going to be like Isn't Zona and Buck known as a person.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he very much is. You guys are theoretically known.
Speaker 2:Then Zona and Buck man sign Zona and Buck and the rest of us will all sign our signatures.
Speaker 3:And then there's a hoof print. Cheers just says, but but yeah, and then we put in parentheses Riley.
Speaker 2:Riley, temporarily. We'll take care of it, no worries.
Speaker 3:Peace. I, I, I Pat grow on the button, I say, all right, buddy, now a good luck getting back.
Speaker 2:Oh, shouldn't we like make sure he gets back safely? He's in the middle of the crack runaway kid.
Speaker 3:I mean I'm fine with either way. I say, wait, where is the Dungeoneer Academy located?
Speaker 1:Deeper into the underlands. Jert offers to escort him back.
Speaker 2:That's perfect.
Speaker 3:We never once got use of his material divining. I refuse Shrugs.
Speaker 2:My guy there, catch him.
Speaker 3:Gabe offers to go instead.
Speaker 2:Let's go get some tacos.
Speaker 3:Gabe offers to go, but we all know Gabe was just going to try to eat him.
Speaker 1:I'll do it, I can do it. He's like drooling yeah.
Speaker 3:He's like.
Speaker 2:I can do it Whatever.
Speaker 1:Yeah, sven comes up to you guys and he's eating a sandwich, says huh, she's a goat.
Speaker 3:now yep, we got it, we're gonna take care of the hate I got this uh, what was our cut? Are we really only getting two percent? I thought we were getting 25 split two ways 12.5 each well, I mean, it's all notarized and dunk what, ben truly, though? Like what, I don't even know what. Did we never agree on this?
Speaker 1:I don't think we did okay we'll just have to check the records and 30 quests go away yeah, look, I mean, I don't want to be like a bad guy or anything, but that's what the contract says, you know.
Speaker 3:We better make a buttload of money, because I promised that chicken foot which point five percent of my profits.
Speaker 1:Look, look, take that out of mine, OK.
Speaker 2:I high five him.
Speaker 3:Her belt jingles around her neck. Um, I say uh, yeah, and, and you know, you can set up a side gig. We found a way to increase our profitability. Um, any cursed travelers can go down to chara for a nominal fee, uh, and get decursed, and you can charge a small finder as a referral, uh, before you direct them down to her, and it'll help our profits.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's genius.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Trash sandwich.
Speaker 3:What was that now?
Speaker 1:Trash salad sandwich you want. I'm good, I'm good, but the goat, the goat yeah. Shoves it down, her gullet.
Speaker 3:Riley eats the wrapper too.
Speaker 1:It's like the best thing you've ever tasted. Yeah.
Speaker 2:It's like going to change my behaviors for the rest of my life.
Speaker 3:Yeah, every morning I wake up, riley is grazing on like grass and trash salad.
Speaker 2:Trash as wiener schnitzel wrappers.
Speaker 3:Yeah, riley is a goat head.
Speaker 2:Well, that was super fun.
Speaker 3:That was really good.
Speaker 1:And if you want to play that yourself, download the beta rule book right now.
Speaker 2:I've been Ben Costa.
Speaker 1:Let's do some XP now. You've completed a quest. You've brought the lumber back to Sven the yodeling troll you sound like Ted from King of the Hill wow. King of the Hill. I don't remember a character like that. He's by Mike Judge. He's like I'm king of the hill, I don't remember a character like that.
Speaker 2:That um Mike judge, he's like, uh, he's like the wealthy successful guy.
Speaker 3:The, the, the, the lay ocean dude.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the lay ocean dude. He's like the wealthy, successful guy that Khan wants to be. Mm. Mm Ted was on us all.
Speaker 1:Okay. Um, okay, completed a quest you did you did it, complete a quest, solved a problem creatively, I think yeah, that was really good.
Speaker 3:I like the solution that Riley put to Chara to decurse and stuff.
Speaker 1:Explored a new point of interest. Encountered a new creature, significant encounter with an NPC yes, yes.
Speaker 3:So that's, five.
Speaker 2:And ideal.
Speaker 3:Yeah, nice.
Speaker 1:Breaking in 7 XP there, you know what.
Speaker 2:I mean, yeah, that's a big one.
Speaker 1:It's a big haul.
Speaker 3:It's a profitable adventure.
Speaker 2:I'm going to level off stream and correct my broken character sheet.
Speaker 1:What's up next for the loyal chum Level 8.?
Speaker 2:Yeah, it is level 8.
Speaker 3:ESPN the Ocho Wow, it looks like you got Home, and Hearth yeah, or Mustard Courage.
Speaker 1:Mustard Courage.
Speaker 3:Yes.
Speaker 1:So that's.
Speaker 2:I'm so tempted by both of those actually.
Speaker 3:I know they're both quite good.
Speaker 1:We will have both of them at eight.
Speaker 3:Wait, james, what did you? Oh, oh, no, are you going to lose Mitch or lose pick on someone your own size?
Speaker 2:I, I have. This is what's kept me at level seven for a while.
Speaker 3:Oh my gosh, this is terrible.
Speaker 2:It's a hard decision.
Speaker 1:Well, if you lose Mitch, it's probably a good time for him to go with a jerk.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:God made dirt and dirt.
Speaker 2:Don't hurt, I I am going to lose Mitch because I see this as an opportunity for Mitch to go hang out with some buddies like another goo and check out the engineer.
Speaker 3:Academy maybe even attend.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know, he's a young gelatinous goo. You know what I mean.
Speaker 3:I'm going to write him a letter of recommendation too. Zona, get on that. Just a bunch of braying at him, I think pick on someone.
Speaker 2:Your own size is super on character for me.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's very on brand, my brand.
Speaker 1:If you had a home in hearth, where would you put it?
Speaker 2:It seems like the crack would be where we put it.
Speaker 3:But wouldn't that be kind of amazing? Is like we like spend as a, as a kind of a nice gesture. Yeah, perhaps a family member gesture. Yeah, perhaps a family member, um, that'd be, that'd be, like that would be kind of fun if sven created like an inn for weary travelers at the crack and we always had like our own room there or something I know and like I would use, like my mechanics to make like it have like its own, like pulley system, elevator thing.
Speaker 2:Like Sven has also so like.
Speaker 3:Just like in Conan Exiles.
Speaker 2:Turn the crack into a new town, the Kraken.
Speaker 3:Oh, I was going to say new crack.
Speaker 1:That's great.
Speaker 3:Ship it. I like it Classic.
Speaker 2:Well, yeah, cool, as Ben was saying, you can download this for free. The land of EMRP, of Eme RPG.
Speaker 3:DriveThruRPGcom, you can go to.
Speaker 2:LandOfEmecom or DriveThruRPGcom and find it. You can also sign up at LandOfEmecom slash Kickstarter for updates about our upcoming Kickstarter, which will release the full version of the Land of Eme game, which will contain more beautiful art, like the leechling from Sean. Kiernan, also, pungent Quest has been shipped. It's been shipped to everybody that gave.
Speaker 3:There it is. There's the Kali Pungent Quest.
Speaker 2:That was our zine quest this year on Kickstarter, and you can get the PDF at landaveemcom as well. So if you like, pun tastic, humorous adventures, uh yeah you can get it Land yeah.
Speaker 3:Ben, can you show the full dungeon and you guys include this in the rule book, or is this a one-off adventure that's going to go in the this is a one-off adventure.
Speaker 2:Yes, it is.
Speaker 3:Okay, I love it. I love it. There's like I mean this is a great. What two hours we could have spent more time if we did every room.
Speaker 2:I think we kind of like Looks like there's several rooms we didn't do.
Speaker 1:Yeah, there's a whole subplot that you didn't get into. I kind of remember some of this. Yeah, yeah, but. I think it's probably a good thing that you guys took a completely different route, because you guys play test this a while back.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's why some of it was going out Mm, hmm, but we we definitely went the misty route last time, I imagine, or no, no, we went through the middle with a dancing skeleton man or something along those lines.
Speaker 2:I think we tested the bridge as well.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and where is this included? Is this included in Land of E Beta? No.
Speaker 1:Where are you guys going to put this? This is on Drive for RPG. It's in the beta. It is in the beta. Okay, the beta bundle. There are three adventures in the beta.
Speaker 3:I love it.
Speaker 1:Cool.
Speaker 2:All right, it Cool, all right.
Speaker 1:Next week will be the 20th session.
Speaker 2:Holy cats.
Speaker 1:Are we going to end it there? Is that going to be the season? Because that's what we did for the first season.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think this is actually a great way to start a new season, because Riley is cursed. It's going to change because I need to be uncursed so I can speak. Yeah, I guess season three will start next week.
Speaker 1:Well, I mean no, no, After next week is 20. Oh, I'm sorry.
Speaker 3:Next week is 20. So we can end it on a cliffhanger.
Speaker 2:Why not? I don't know, I mean sorry. Next week is 20. So we can end it on a cliffhanger. Why?
Speaker 1:not, I don't know, I mean let's do it. Season 3. You guys were going to go to what? Terror Island or something, eventually, eventually. But now there's the more pressing curse, curse.
Speaker 2:I was really scared of the curse table Because I intimately know what could happen and there's some hardcore curses in there. I was terrified.
Speaker 1:Let's roll some D100. See what some other curses could have popped up.
Speaker 3:I'm going to roll five D100s. Where is my roll 20 screen? I've lost everything my mind. There we go 23 boiling spittle.
Speaker 1:Your saliva is boiling hot when you talk. There's a 25% chance you will burn someone oh my god.
Speaker 3:I mean, that's, that's awesome and manageable. I love it. That was just like derail negotiations uh hunchback uh 96.
Speaker 1:Uh, jingle, jangle. Every movie make there's a jingling sound. It's impossible to sneak.
Speaker 3:Oh my god, that's so good.
Speaker 2:That's rough. You roll the 100. The 100 is the curse of curses. I know this. One Days of the gloom king.
Speaker 1:At the stroke of midnight, you will become a lich, a sorcerer thrall of the gloom king. At the stroke of midnight, you will become a lich, a sorcerer thrall of the Gloom King, and a primary villain of this campaign.
Speaker 3:I mean that's like Can you imagine if Riley had gotten that? Oh my good lord, it would have been A stroke of midnight Like such a heartbreak.
Speaker 1:It basically means you have until midnight to lift the curse.
Speaker 3:Nah, I would just let it happen. I mean, season 3 is Galen vs Riley X vs Sever Wow. Oh my gosh, ballistic X vs Sever. Wow, wow, oh my gosh, ballistic X versus Sever.
Speaker 1:Okay, guys.
Speaker 2:Wait, what's?
Speaker 1:63?.
Speaker 3:What's 63?
Speaker 1:63 lead fingers. Your hands are fixed and your fingers cannot grasp objects. That's perfect. That's perfect.
Speaker 2:That would get in the way. Let me tell you, oh, geez, love it.
Speaker 1:All right, dudes, until next week.
Speaker 2:Yes indeed, have a great weekend everybody. Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye.
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