Land of Eem: Actual Play
Join Ben Costa, James Parks, and George Higgins as they play the Land of Eem tabletop roleplaying game, inspired by the series of fantasy books: Dungeoneer Adventures and Rickety Stitch and the Gelatinous Goo.
Ben Costa and James Parks are the creators of Dungeoneer Adventures, Rickety Stitch and the Gelatinous Goo, and the tabletop roleplaying game, Land of Eem. They have been friends since the 2nd grade, and love making stuff together.
Lovers of fantasy, they strive to craft tales that celebrate the adventures of unlikely heroes. Ben and James grew up playing tabletop roleplaying games, creating countless characters and collaborative worlds with our pals, a pastime that paved the way for their creative careers, as authors and illustrators.
Land of Eem is a tabletop roleplaying published in partnership with indie game publisher, Exalted Funeral. and is about adventurers exploring and discovering the remnants of a forgotten better age. Described as The Lord of the Rings meets The Muppets, players portray lore-seeking travelers, fortune-seeking pioneers, and adventure-seeking heroes in a time devoid of them. But for all its post-apocalyptic doom and gloom, Land of Eem is tonally quite lighthearted and droll.
Dungeoneer Adventures is a fun, middle-grade fantasy adventure series from Simon & Schuster, about the only human kid attending the adventure school, Dungeoneer Academy. The books are packed with illustrations and available at Target, Barnes & Noble, and Amazon, or you can ask for them wherever books are sold.
Rickety Stitch and the Gelatinous Goo is a fun YA graphic novel series from Random House, about a skeleton bard and his best friend on an epic quest to discover who he was when he was alive. The books are available through Exalted Funeral or online at Amazon, and you can ask for them wherever books are sold.
For more visit:
https://landofeem.com
Land of Eem: Actual Play
Land of Eem: Fantasy Actual Play S03E01 | The Gangsters of Bogtown
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What happens when a mossy-bearded adventurer, quirky gangs, and a city floating on stilts over a murky bog collide? Welcome back to Bogtown, where humor and danger go hand-in-hand in the whimsical world of the Land of Eem TTRPG, played in the Mucklands Campaign Sandbox Setting and published by Exalted Funeral. Join Ben Costa and James Parks—creators of Rickety Stitch and the Gelatinous Goo and Dungeoneer Adventures—with lead playtester George Higgins, as they dive into another hilarious and action-packed episode.
Explore the bustling streets of Bogtown, teeming with criminal activity, peculiar societies, and rumors that add to the city's chaotic charm. From the mischievous Tricky Toe Gang to the cunning Copper Hats, everyone seems to have a hidden agenda, leaving Galen and Rylee to navigate the vibrant chaos.
The adventure heats up with the introduction of the enigmatic Shane Shandar and his spirited counterpart, Fleeg Greenback, whose adventures in adventure journalism spark debates on integrity versus sensationalism. Hilarious misadventures ensue as Galen and Rylee’s exploits are exaggerated in print, leading to laugh-out-loud discussions on storytelling authenticity.
The stakes rise as the team faces a tantalizing choice between two thrilling quests: capturing the notorious Kade Kadderan or slaying a dragon in the Jagged Hills. With comedic twists like accidental seduction attempts and cheeseburgers offered as peace tokens, the heroes navigate a world brimming with rumor and corruption.
Perfect for fans of Fantasy Actual Play, Collaborative Storytelling RPGs, Rules-Light Indie RPGs, and the ever-imaginative TTRPG community, this episode delivers humor, camaraderie, and heart in every corner of Bogtown.
Download the Land of Eem Quickstart Guide for FREE, and join the adventure today!
https://linktr.ee/landofeem
hey, hey, happy saturday I'm glad to be back yeah, it's been like almost a month I didn't notice, george, until like until I saw this swipe. Yeah, just a gentle swipe away from my giant face. Oh, I miss it already. Uh, I miss land of eam and I'm happy to be back for season three. I'm glad I my contract got renewed. Let's put it that way.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we had some contract disputes and, but we got George squared away and everything, everything's good, you know I don't want to linger on the drama, but we had a walkout. George walked out. He flipped the desk. It's true, it's true. And then I walked. You hit the desk, um, it's true, it's true. And then I walk back in because I realize I have no other jobs. Princess funny bone, hey, welcome, welcome we're just kidding by the way, there were no disputes. I was on vacation really, we were kidding ben and I had constant disputes while you were here, really.
Speaker 1:Really. So what are we doing here? You know we ended season two With Riley Getting her real head back. It's true.
Speaker 2:Yep had a goat head.
Speaker 1:So I think we're going to do a little time skip and have you guys Already in Bogtown.
Speaker 2:Galen has a beard. It's only been like a day, but galen has grown a full bog real beard.
Speaker 1:I'm not sure that's possible it's very mossy, just like a moss yeah wow, like a mossy curly beard, it's like a bunch of biological or anything.
Speaker 2:It's just like yeah, it's like a mold, yeah, yeah, zonan buck keeps telling me that I should get rid of it, but I just think he's jealous because it's another fungus on my face, because the spores are endangering everyone that are around. That makes more sense actually. Oh classic, you know what I mean. It's like whoa.
Speaker 1:So Bogtown, this place is, you know, I guess, the largest city in the Mucklins.
Speaker 2:They call it the.
Speaker 1:Big Crab Apple. You know the sprawling metropolis of Boggertum, of boggerdom, filled with opportunity and promise, and also the largest criminal element in the Mucklins.
Speaker 2:Wait, does that mean it's a really large man who is the criminal element in Bogtown? Or is it you mean like physically, yeah, he physically occupies in Bog Town? Or is it Physically? Yeah, he physically occupies the Bog is a criminal element? Princess Funnybone, he's starting a collection of spores and mold Classic. I appreciate the reference, joe Tiggins. How do the Ghostbusters everybody?
Speaker 1:What I mean is is there's crime? You know, the Tricky Toe Gang is the biggest player. But there's also some other gangs, like Nork's Noodle Gang, guttermouth.
Speaker 2:Soot Fingers. I don't know if they're in Bogtown.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know, it's rife with all gangs Criminal element. It's also home to the high magistrate of Fleabag County, who is kind of like the closest thing to a ruler in the Mucklands.
Speaker 2:He's the king of Fleabag County.
Speaker 1:Didn't know that EME had its own mafia. It does, it's true these are like the behind the scenes things that rickety doesn't get involved in, but he's too goodly for them.
Speaker 2:Also, he's painfully unaware of his surroundings also.
Speaker 1:He, just like, left the mucklins within 40 pages of the first book that's true.
Speaker 1:Yeah, his and his journey really started and used to be forest, so this is uh, uncharted territory, territory, if you will, good old rehystics um, yeah, so this place is a maze of wooden buildings on stilts and iron pylons. That rise above this whole network of boggy ponds and pools. The roads are packed, mud and muck that wind through a townscape of shanty-y roofed homes, some of them are towers. They stretch into the hazy green sky. It's always a hazy green here, for some reason.
Speaker 2:There's a lot of gas from that bog Ben are there rumors that they use the bog to dispose of like bodies and trash and everything. They just dump everything into it yeah, yeah, you've definitely heard that.
Speaker 1:Um, you know, people that cross the gangs often go swimming never, to return Swim with the bog eels. You know, as you walk in the dirtier parts of town, there's definitely just trash floating in the pools.
Speaker 2:Is there? Yeah, concrete shoes, but the bog is not that deep, so you just get stuck in the bog until things come by and nibble you. Yeah, so you're eaten by worms yeah is there a bog cleaning society ben?
Speaker 1:um sure it's like eco evangelist no, uh, uh, yeah, I'm sure there's something that exists. You want to join them. That's how you're doing.
Speaker 2:I just feel, like you know, we should link them up with the Liberator and the Galavanters.
Speaker 1:The Galavanters yeah. Hey guys, we're the BCS Halfway across the world.
Speaker 2:The UC forest is almost entirely reforested at this point Through the Herculean efforts of its machine gun seed cannon. It's like a gatling seed cannon. I want to know what happens with the Liberator Like that is my most pending uh plot thread you gotta seek it out yeah gotta seek it out.
Speaker 1:Uh, there are five distinct districts in bogtown. There's old town which is kind of um, the most civilized, uh place where a lot of governmental stuff happens. There's the High Magistrate's Hall there and it's crawling with Copper Hats, which are the local guards, who are kind of like the right hand of doom for the magistrate. Oh, I see the right hand of doom for the magistrate doing his.
Speaker 2:Oh, I see, are they rumored to be quite corrupt or they just do whatever the magistrate wills? Okay, alright, so they're basically a legal gang, like mafia gang type deal.
Speaker 1:Pretty much. I mean you'll Mean streets of Bogtown. Are these guards better than the ones in Harp's Edge? That's a great question. I'm going to say they're more organized.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the guards in Harp's Edge. I don't know that they fared very well. The guards are upset.
Speaker 1:I don't know that they fared very well, but within the bunch there's always a Eugene in there.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, it's not like everyone is terrible. No, no, you've got to be the change.
Speaker 1:Eugene Merman. There's also Shanty Rowe, which is one of the poorer areas, home to Boggles. There's a lot of Boggles there. Warfrat Row is near to the most of the water.
Speaker 2:That's, it is near to the most of the water.
Speaker 1:It's on like a rickety wharf. There's the bowl, which is like the central kind of community city area with entertainment and places to eat and whatnot. Kind of like the tourist trap area, and then there's Gutter Span, which is the highest crime. Awful place to be.
Speaker 2:That's where we must go.
Speaker 1:Gutter Span. So you take a look at your brochure that you grabbed. That's detailed. All of this information and, um, we picked it up off the ground is all of my bog tower in uh, dirt.
Speaker 2:All my bog town lore checks are going to be minus one because the pamphlet I have has gum in the center of it. I can't read. All the data is is gum cannon and land of eam. Yes, and why haven't we been chewing? It is my question. I hand him a piece. I've been holding that. You've had gum the whole time. Hey, I got some fruit stripes here.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean I, I wow, I chew it for three seconds and it loses all flavor. And then I immediately, I immediately start choking on it because I don't understand how gum works and I just swallow it and I say, was I, was I supposed to swallow it? You'll be all right in about five years oh my god, I mean what if, what if it? What if it grows like a tree in my stomach?
Speaker 1:it'll match the beard just like having a gummy beard. You please hurry up, we have a meeting is that Zona?
Speaker 2:of course wait that's right wait, we have a meeting, I guess yes, with engineer magazine oh cause Zona likes to smack your magazine. Of course, all right, yeah sure. Oh it's about the art. Are we doing a photo shoot Zona?
Speaker 1:Which district is Dungeoneer Magazine?
Speaker 2:in Wolfrat Row. Wolfrat Row Looking classic, yeah, totally, let's head over. I wonder if they're going to have a craft food services table there. I hope so. I'm starving.
Speaker 1:All of you make a perception check. All of you, meaning both of you.
Speaker 2:Okay Zone Inbox also makes a perception. Check how does this game work? How many d6 do I roll? 20 d6, you made it?
Speaker 1:yeah, no, I rolled that much earlier to get the bad rolls out of the way.
Speaker 2:67, you've defeated bogdown. Oh my god, it's d12. I was like I'm, my mind was stuck in star wars, even game. I'm like how many D6 do I know?
Speaker 1:It's only been three weeks.
Speaker 2:George, I critically perceive, so do I.
Speaker 1:As you guys stroll through town, you notice some shady characters eyeing you, but they never make a move Because every time they start to yeah, exactly every time they start to move, we stare right at them yeah, you get the sense that there are a lot of pickpockets around good thing we're poor.
Speaker 2:Yeah, this is the right time to be poor, yeah, all I have in my pocket is like a punch card that's got three punches out of five for norks noodles, for norks noodles, yeah, yeah, yeah, um, let's see, all right, all right, so you know, we walk through the streets. Uh, back to back, the chicken lizard is guarding our, our, uh, our rears like gouting flames at anyone who gets close, our rears like gouting flames at anyone who gets close, devouring the last of our rations yeah yeah, um, uh.
Speaker 2:How is there any impediment to getting to dungeon magazine and what does their headquarters look like?
Speaker 1:well, uh, as you guys are walking um bump in the troll you. You pass a bugbear who's fishing on the wharf and he's got this bucket. One is full of cheeseburgers and one is full of quag dads.
Speaker 2:Which little, yeah, quag crawdads well, like I, like the idea that you decided that there had to be something like quag dads, but then cheeseburgers are just cheeseburgers well, looks like the bugbear is using cheese.
Speaker 1:Make what as bait. Make what you love man, I love it.
Speaker 2:He's using cheeseburgers as bait to catch more Quagdads. See, princess Funnybo knows what's up, but then he's also eating a cheeseburger as well.
Speaker 1:Double dipping.
Speaker 2:Hey, hey, you can eat all those cheeseburgers.
Speaker 1:The Quag Dads are. Can I have one? You got to go down to Pandora's to get these. These are top notch.
Speaker 2:Pandora's got it All right. I asked the guy I'm like wait, I mean, do you sell the Quag Dads or are they just Bless you? Ask the guy, I'm like wait, I mean, do you sell the quag dads or are they just bless you? I just feel like the guy sneezes when I ask him the question. Um, I say, do you, do you sell the quag dads or do you? Are they just like? I mean, it's just like the money doesn't make sense. It's a big bucket of cheeseburgers. It's got to cost a fortune.
Speaker 1:Well, why?
Speaker 2:I never thought about it like that. He's losing money hand over fist yeah.
Speaker 1:Look, I just like coming down to the wharf and catching quack dads.
Speaker 2:It's more about the experience than anything you do, you guy, it's relaxing.
Speaker 1:I mean, this town can really eat you up inside. You know what I mean? It's a rat race.
Speaker 2:Especially in Wolf Rat Row.
Speaker 1:Exactly, you gotta watch out for the nabber rats.
Speaker 2:Nabber rats. Oh man, wait, are those like actual creatures called? Like they're little rats that just steal things?
Speaker 1:Yes, Uh, yeah, where you from.
Speaker 2:Uh, you know, a little north of here, just outside of Rascleton.
Speaker 1:Oh, so you're a rascal huh.
Speaker 2:No, no, no, no, I don't associate with those hooligans. Good, I assume he's talking about a gang.
Speaker 1:There's enough of them here.
Speaker 2:Yeah, good, I assume he's talking about enough of them here. Yeah, I say, uh nice to meet you. I'm galen dundugle and this is uh my pal riley. Sprinkle springel, howdy springly spring. How you doing um yep, just wanted to see Ben scramble to a random name sheet. I am the worst person to have in your party. Oral Gorl Gorl, gorl Fersheiser, gorl Cheeseburger Fisherman. Yeah, gorl Gangrew, gorl Gangrew, how long you lived in the town, gorl Gangrew?
Speaker 1:Oh, about five years. Came down from Bugbear Holler.
Speaker 2:Anything going on we should be aware of.
Speaker 1:Well, Nabberats won.
Speaker 2:There goes one now.
Speaker 1:Pandora's got the great burgers. We'll hit that place up next, watch out for the alley snipes.
Speaker 2:Alley snipes. I've heard of gutter snipes. What's an alley snipe? Are they birds?
Speaker 1:No, no, no one knows what they are Kidnappers.
Speaker 2:Kidnappers. That's terrible. What do they want with children?
Speaker 1:Well, abductors, they take people. That's terrible. What do they want with children? Well, abductors, they take people right off the street. Disappear forever. If you want a good time, you should go down to the Amphibia Theater. Amphibia Theater.
Speaker 2:Where's that located?
Speaker 1:It's in the bowl.
Speaker 2:I say, uh, how much did that bucket of cheeseburgers cost you?
Speaker 1:Don't worry about it.
Speaker 2:No, no, no, no, no, because I was gonna buy him another bucket of cheeseburger. I was going to give him some copper for his trouble.
Speaker 1:Well, I mean, this is a lot of cheeseburgers, this is silver coins, right here.
Speaker 2:Oh, I say you know, we really appreciate all the information you're giving us. I don't have enough to buy you another cheeseburger, quagdad. All the information you're giving us. I, I, I don't have enough to buy you another cheeseburger, but, uh, I'll buy a quag, dad from you. Are they still alive? Yeah, can we add to our?
Speaker 1:menagerie. I mean it's a it's like a food.
Speaker 2:No, no, I mean, it's the pet. Now Can I pick up one of the Quagdads and look at it and be like how do you eat this? Just break off the head.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, you gotta de-shell them and pull out their tentacles and that's all the thing.
Speaker 2:It's a lot of work. I'll pass on the Quagdad. Pandora's got the good Cheeseburgers. Navarats are everywhere and freaking abducting Allyslives this town's nuts.
Speaker 1:That's just the half of it.
Speaker 2:That's just the half of it, alright, well, thanks, chief nuts, that's just the half of it.
Speaker 1:That's just the half of it All right, well, yeah, thanks, chief, but uh, where else are you going to get these cheeseburgers? You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's true, I've never seen a cheeseburger before. Princess funny bone says I guess cheeseburgers the best debate, can you imagine? Just, I mean, princess Funny Bone says ah yes, cheeseburger is the best bait for fishing, can you imagine? I mean, it's the soggy bread draws them in First alley snipe. I find I'm going to name it Kevin. I was going to name it Wesley, but okay, fine. All right Onward to Dungeoneer Academy. I'm sorry.
Speaker 1:Wow.
Speaker 2:Stay tuned for Dungeoneer Academy. Sorry, that was a other things on my mind. It's a Freudian slip. You know, you say one thing and you meet your mother. I mean, that's funny. This is my geometry teacher Gorill's fishing for all these, you know quag dads. He's probably just trying to put his kids through the engineer cap. That man looked like he had kids. For sure Don't got any kids.
Speaker 1:Yeah. I act like.
Speaker 2:I'm about to speak and then I turn around and walk off. Yeah, it is. And they're like oh right, riley, wait up. And I go chasing after her. I say, yeah, see you later girl he just waves gets back to tossing cheeseburgers in there.
Speaker 1:Yeah, dungeoneer Magazine Inc has the nicest building in Warfrat Row. It's like an actual. It's not like a shanty, it's like a nicely constructed stone building 70s. Yeah, princess Funnybone has a very good question is Dungeoneer Academy like Jedi Academy kind of yeah yes, it's true, all of it.
Speaker 2:Wow once. Never said I will kill you guys with that terrible. Every time I love it. Wow Once an episode. I will kill you guys with that terrible statement Every time Gets me every time. So so Dungeoner Magazine Inc I keep trying to not say Academy, because now it's all I can think of is is a multi-storied like edifice that stands tall in this bog, and you wonder how the bog supports the weight of such a structure. Is it kind of like that big on the wings of its dreams?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I wouldn't say it's like massive, but it's just it's girthy. Nice, it's like nicer, nicer legit building. Um, um, well, um um Zona Inbox says are you ready?
Speaker 2:I say question Zona due to your how many nutrients you've been eating lately. I'm wondering if you're even going to be able to fit into this building. You're massive in George's fantasy. Bit into this building. You're massive In George's fantasy, Zoda Impac. Is this 30 foot tall?
Speaker 1:He's recently had his like shedding.
Speaker 2:Oh, okay, yeah, he actually has been shedding through spores and like cells dividing. He's just left awake of like baby zonas as we travel.
Speaker 1:No, he's not a gelatinous goo. Oh, okay, no, like before he was kind of bulbous and brown, like full of dirt and like nutrients. Now he's like full of dirt and like nutrients. Now he's like expunged. Yeah, I like it, but he looks really glowing. You know he's like yeah.
Speaker 2:It's his newly shed. Yeah yeah, now I know how that works.
Speaker 1:And this is his gig.
Speaker 2:I mean he's been selling stories to Dungeoneer Academy Dungeoneer magazine the entire time.
Speaker 1:Sorry, he, he pulled. He pulls out a clip on tie and just shoves it into his body.
Speaker 2:All of us, all of us flinch a little bit and realize that, like Zona feels no pain and one day he will devour us all uh huh, I feel emotional pain, galen.
Speaker 1:I give Zona a hug, but it's really awkward because I don't know like his head is in the way.
Speaker 2:Riley choke up a little bit, zona, saying something like that so openly and honestly, I wave Riley into the hug, choke up a little bit, just like saying something like that so openly and honestly, like, yeah, I, I wave. I wave riley into the hug, I squirm in between.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we're having a moment, it's a team building moment um, as you guys are hugging, you notice that zonian buck has slipped off and has entered the building.
Speaker 2:You guys are still just like me and riley. Yeah, where'd he go? I don't think he likes hugging very much.
Speaker 1:We chase after him um, you get inside the building and there's like way less people than you would imagine there's only a couple like intern looking folks, uh, who are just like bustling around with papers.
Speaker 2:It's like a bullpen.
Speaker 1:And then, uh, there is one guy at a desk and he's like writing up a storm. He's got a pencil in his ear and he's. He's like laughing as he writes and um he's he's laughing as he writes he's a goblin and Zona Inbok hails him and he looks at you.
Speaker 2:Oh.
Speaker 1:Must be the Zona Inbok and you Thunderblade.
Speaker 2:I strike a pose immediately. Phoenix Dark who, oh, that's right. Yes, phoenix Dark, at your service.
Speaker 1:I mean, your stories are blowing up. This is good stuff.
Speaker 2:I like that Sona Inbok has used the fake personas of us to tell action stories or whatever.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean we've been getting a lot of fan mail.
Speaker 2:Really Fan mail.
Speaker 1:Wait, is this?
Speaker 2:going to be a fan mail episode where we just read our fan mail. Yeah, nice.
Speaker 1:Yeah, go over in the corner and read the fan mail.
Speaker 2:You just hear Galen muttering to himself like as he's pouring through letters and like starts weeping openly because it's so beautiful to have that much attention.
Speaker 1:Look you guys, I tell you what you. You've been sort of a, a, a godsend, you know, with the Shane Shandar. I mean, his adventures have been a little lackluster lately.
Speaker 2:Say who is Shane Shandar?
Speaker 1:Shane. Shandar Say like the Shane Shandar, yeah, the Shane Shandar, the most famous Dungeoneer in all of the Mucklins. I assume you know who he is. Princess Funnybone says it's one of those letters from Gale. That's great.
Speaker 2:There's a letter to me from Gale, and then there's a letter to Zona and Bach from Gale, both of which she's like, professing her love to us.
Speaker 1:Look, I'm glad you guys came because we need a story in fast.
Speaker 2:Okay, alright, let's do a live expose of our hunt for Kate Caterin. Oh, I like that you can embed one of your guys with us.
Speaker 1:He definitely will not die. I'll take out the wrinkled wanted.
Speaker 2:poster of Cade Cateran, Last seen Bogtown.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I heard he joined the town. Watch here.
Speaker 2:Really the copper tops.
Speaker 1:No, no, no. This is something else, Something Mayor Galsey is starting up.
Speaker 2:Interesting and he's wanted at the same time, at least this poster says.
Speaker 1:Intrigue.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I say so. Wait, tell us more about this town watch.
Speaker 1:I mean I don't know the whole story, just gauzy. I mean she has no love for the copper hats or the high magistrate. She thinks the town Deserves something better. So it's like a militia of sorts.
Speaker 2:Am I to understand that the town watch is Supposed to be not corrupt?
Speaker 1:Right, I don't believe it.
Speaker 2:Everywhere we go. Riverwatch is corrupt, Got tricky people freaking everywhere.
Speaker 1:Nork's Noodle Gang.
Speaker 2:These are hard times. What's this guy's name?
Speaker 1:Oh, yeah, did I not introduce myself. My name's Flea Greenback.
Speaker 2:Flea Greenback. The second.
Speaker 1:My father started Dungeoneer Magazine out of a well, you know, out of a working buggy, you know what I mean, and he was a humble, humble, little enterprise back then. And well, you know, out of a worgen buggy, you know what I mean. It was a humble, humble, little enterprise back then. And well, I've shepherded in these recent years to becoming what you see today.
Speaker 2:The most popular magazine in the Mucklins. That is also desperate for stories because Shane Shandar is not popular anymore. His adventures kind of suck.
Speaker 1:Exactly so. I mean you guys came at a great time. I've been exchanging letters with Zona Imbach here and you know he's told me that your adventures have kind of dried up lately as well.
Speaker 2:Well, we're sort of low on funds and eventually we'd like to get back to Scalawag Strand to continue our quest, but we're kind of stranded, so we've got to earn some money and speaking of money what can we expect from helping you get a story in Dungeon Year Magazine?
Speaker 1:Well, it depends on how good the story is. You know what I mean. If it's a dud, I'll give you some copper, but if it's a great story, I mean it sells copies you know, you'll see some gold coming your way, Princess Funnybones.
Speaker 2:comments have been gold today.
Speaker 1:Look, I don't do loans here. Okay, let's get that out of the way, all right, I don't do loans here. Let's get that out of the way, alright so what makes?
Speaker 2:We've heard that there's Some stuff going on In Bogtown. You've got the alley snipes Abducting people. You've got Navarats on the wharf, you've got this whole Kate Cateran situation. You guys have cheeseburgers.
Speaker 1:Look, look, look. I'm not a local newspaper here. Okay, I don't care about the alley snipes, I want adventure stories. This is going out to the mucklins. This is inspiring children. Okay, all those kids at Dungeoneer Academy.
Speaker 2:All right, I think we can make this work.
Speaker 1:As you guys are talking, the door flips open and you see a really well put together Boggart in probably his mid-40s. He's got stubble, he's got a big mustache. He's taller and bulkier than you, galen. He's wearing a hat. What are those called?
Speaker 2:Fedora Like a newspaper boy cap.
Speaker 1:Like an Indiana Jones hat.
Speaker 2:Fedora with a leather jacket on and a whip. He's got a bullfrog whip. He's made from bullfrog hide.
Speaker 1:And he says Fleeg, we need to talk.
Speaker 2:Oh, his name's Fleeg. I thought it was Fleet Fleeg Greenback.
Speaker 1:Fleeg. He says, all right, yeah, one moment. You guys, I just got to talk. This is Shane Shandar, by the way, he's down.
Speaker 2:The Shane Shandar. I fixed my hair just a little bit.
Speaker 1:He doesn't look at you.
Speaker 2:Galen fixes his helmet a little bit.
Speaker 1:They go off to the other side of the room and uh, you see that they're.
Speaker 2:They immediately start arguing uh, can I, ooh, do I have any abilities to hear this better? I'm so curious. Does riley have any abilities to? Let's see, is it? Can I just try to perceive it? Um, I'm gonna use I for clues. I'm sorry, did they close the door?
Speaker 2:no, they're just on the other side of the room oh yeah, I was gonna like I'll just try to perceive it. Then, yeah, um, do I'll just try to perceive it? Then, yeah, I mean that's not bad, that might be. Did I bonus my perception? No, we both rolled 11s, yeah there we go. Oliver rolls so far up in 11 or 12. That means in combat, we will die yeah.
Speaker 1:You overhear Shane. He's angry. He's saying no, I want the story redacted. I mean, I don't Look, I have integrity. Fleek, if my adventure is not as amazing or incredible as you want it to be, then don't put it in. I just don't change what I've done.
Speaker 2:It immediately makes me feel small for wanting to get the gig and do an adventure for money.
Speaker 1:Fleek, on the other hand, is like come on. Shane, shane, I'm a businessman.
Speaker 2:Shane, I'm your white knight.
Speaker 1:Look, if you can't do it, I got these guys over here who are up-and-comers and I mean they've produced in the past I immediately make it look like I'm not eavesdropping by like turning around. Yeah, I try to lean on a wall that's not there, yeah, look I mean, maybe we'll have to, you know, end the shane shandar comic section and replace it with Thunder Blade and Phoenix Dark Comics. You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:I like look at Galen, like that would kind of be awesome. But I don't want Shane to see.
Speaker 1:I mean maybe.
Speaker 2:I'd lean into Riley. Maybe Shane can join our crew. He can hang out with Claudia Huh.
Speaker 1:Claudia.
Speaker 2:That is a good point. Princess Funnybone Galen immediately picks up an old copy of Dungeoneer Magazine, but it is of course upside down, just about to say that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Fleeg gets pulled away from this conversation by one of his interns and he goes off upstairs. He says we'll continue this discussion in a little bit. Okay, Shane, I got some deadlines, all right, Now maybe you should figure out some adventure. You should go on, That'll be good. So you guys are left in this room with Shane Chandar and you're reading a copy of Dungeoneer Magazine upside down.
Speaker 2:I let out, he flips it over for you. Damn it. I was going to try to do it before he did.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I say.
Speaker 2:I'm dyslexic. And then he tried to turn my head upside down again.
Speaker 1:Mr.
Speaker 2:Shandar, I am a huge fan of your comics we're both huge fans, I mean we actually. I mean, this is Zona Imbach, unbeknownst to us. He's been, I guess, chronicling our adventures too, and we found out that we were in the Met. So we're kind of colleagues in a way and I was wondering will you sign? My coat. I'll show him like the corner of my coat.
Speaker 1:How old are you? Are you? That's a good question. Are you from Dungeoneer Academy? Never thought of this. Are you a child?
Speaker 2:She's a shrimp, she's like a tiny. I am an adult. I'm an adult woman. Yes.
Speaker 1:And you want me to sign your jacket.
Speaker 2:No, no, I'm kidding, no, no, I'm just kidding, you know actually like Galen's, kind of taken aback by his how dismissive he is of like Riley's fangirling, like it's like a kind of ruins magazine here.
Speaker 1:I mean I'm weird about signing your clothes.
Speaker 2:Hey, lena's, really good thing you didn't try to get in to sign your arm or something.
Speaker 1:She signs the magazine that you're holding, galen.
Speaker 2:I hand it to Riley. I say thanks, shane. With the ink still wet. I try to use sneak to just get the imprint of his signature on my coat because personally she thinks it would make it lucky. That's awesome.
Speaker 1:So I've I've heard that, uh, you're a couple of adventures, huh.
Speaker 2:Yes. Yeah, I suppose you could call us that. Uh, consider myself more of a tinker by trade. She studied under crazy Ernie, If you've heard of him.
Speaker 1:And you write your own tales.
Speaker 2:Zona Inbach actually does it. We didn't know he was writing them down. We knew he was writing something. Have you read them? I opened the magazine back up, upside down again. No, you know, I guess we haven't really. To be totally frank, we've had our minds set on other things. Yeah, I mean, zona's a reliable chronicler. We're on a quest you see, yeah. Our hometown was destroyed by the Sarpathy and we've been trying to unravel the mystery of their resurgence For the past three seasons. Two seasons.
Speaker 1:It's true. Well, that's noble, I've run into. Sarpathy a few times myself.
Speaker 2:Have you, maybe Gosh?
Speaker 1:we should compare notes. Take your brain over some cheeseburgers.
Speaker 2:Sometimes, like we're trying to we've, we've discovered some things ourselves yeah, uh.
Speaker 1:I mean I'm in a little bit of a bind here with Fleeg. Got to figure this out first.
Speaker 2:Maybe we can.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I've got some pretty expensive expeditions lined up and I was counting on this money.
Speaker 2:Oh, what makes your expeditions expensive? Just supplies you need or like you're traveling far or all of the above. Cheeseburgers yeah, Dog water tea.
Speaker 1:Equipment gear rations.
Speaker 2:Transportation.
Speaker 1:Like when you're delving deep into the Shimmering Shar. I mean, you're down there for months at a time. Wow, what is the Shimmering Shire? I mean you're down there for months at a time, Wow.
Speaker 2:What is the Shimmering Shire? It's a. It's in the Underlands. It's deep, deep in the Underlands. It's like an abyss. Well, you can use our Bridge at the Crack to access it. Maybe that'll be easier for you. We'll give them a free bridge pass, huh, bridge at the Crack, that'll be easier for you.
Speaker 1:We give them like a free bridge. Pass Huh. Bridge at the crack. That's new yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. And if yeah, we just finished. If you get a curse, you can get decursed there for a reasonable price. Just tell char the chicken foot which that you know us and she'll knock off 10% of her fee.
Speaker 1:Look, you two seem like nice kids, okay, but some of your recent adventures, well, you know, it's kind of stealing my thunder here, no pun intended, thunderblade I was going to say it.
Speaker 2:Grrr, um, wow, thunder Blade, I was going to say it. I say, look, we're not. I mean honestly, it's not like we want these adventures. If we had our way, we would just be done with the whole thing and figure out the Sarpathy deal and then live quiet lives. But you know there's a lot more going on.
Speaker 1:I don't know if your mushroom here is exaggerating things, but it's kind of blowing my stuff out of the water and I don't exaggerate.
Speaker 2:Well, Zona Inbach doesn't exaggerate either. Right? Have you been exaggerating our stories? I only tell the truth of what I see. I may perceive it differently than you, though.
Speaker 1:See, see, yeah, and now Fleek, he's just changing my stories. It hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts. I don't want to be that guy who is just a pulp novel writer. Okay, I want my stuff to have integrity and truth Very TAS, you know.
Speaker 2:Maybe we should consider publishing your stories in something new, like a Mucklins Geographic or a Mucklander Journal, something a little more highbrow than this pulp adventure. But don't get me wrong, I love the comics. Perhaps your adventures are too nuanced for the readers of this magazine.
Speaker 1:There's no other publication, is it? This is what the mucklins has. No one's ever been able to make it work like fleek hmm, well, um, maybe this gets everywhere this gets to the drippy downs.
Speaker 2:I mean I've heard even gnomes and dingledell read it well, maybe we could have a chat with fleek, maybe, uh, I mean, I've heard even gnomes in Dingledale read it. Well, maybe we could have a chat with Fleek. Maybe your stories could be realistic.
Speaker 1:And although I guess I've never read one of ours. I don't know if it's true or not, can we pull Zona aside? I'm going to start rifling through dungeoneer magazine.
Speaker 2:Yeah, go for looking for our stories while this is happening and trying to read it, see, like how it turned out from his perspective, just to get an idea if it's accurate or totally like focus like okay, corral gunslinger, yeah yeah, um making both rifles through. It's a good thing. You are a high school speed reading champion, dude. I was just about to say I gotta stop.
Speaker 2:I was in the book, yeah high school speed reading champion is way better, though I do want to do that. I want to make myself like a hey, calm down.
Speaker 1:Like I was in book club.
Speaker 2:Did you say lore check?
Speaker 1:Mm-hmm Ten, what are you doing? Yeah, you. So I mean, the events seem to be like pretty, pretty true although there are some embellishments like the size of things and like um, but there's like a love story between you guys.
Speaker 2:There's a romance, oh that's like really off putting for me. I'm gonna be like all over the league. Um, this is gross.
Speaker 1:He's like my brother guy like this is yeah, I mean I'm gonna take shane shander aside, I'm gonna talk straight. I'll be like shane yeah.
Speaker 2:He's like my brother guy Like this is yeah, I'm going to take Shane Shander aside and I'm going to talk straight to him and be like Shane.
Speaker 2:I just checked out some of our stories for the first time. These are actually pretty accurate, with one huge, ginormous, egregious error. Galen and I are not a thing. We're best friends. I'm his loyal chum. I say you can be friends without you know being in a relationship. I think we can help you with Fleek, because if he's going to not tell the truth, we're not going to give him our stories either, and then what's? He going to do?
Speaker 1:You do that. Yeah, flea comes back down. He says all right, we settle anything here. What's going on?
Speaker 2:We're out. Yeah, what are you? Talking about You're out. Eh, we don't want to do it. I read the story. It's totally inaccurate. We're going to see some changes or we don't want to do it. I read the stories. They're totally inaccurate. We gotta see some changes or we're not gonna go do your adventure for you.
Speaker 1:I haven't changed a thing for you guys.
Speaker 2:Galen and I. We're just best friends. Not a thing. I want that expunged. That's not true.
Speaker 1:I didn't write that. That's Zona Inbok.
Speaker 2:We all like turn simultaneously.
Speaker 1:This just occurs to her.
Speaker 2:Like it literally just occurred to me, like I'm just about to continue yelling at Fleek and then I turn to Zona Inbach and be like what's with the love story man?
Speaker 1:This is the first time you've ever seen Zona and Buck blush. His cheeks become rosy red. Zona you've got to Everything else is true. I mean All of it.
Speaker 2:Everything else is true. Uh, sorry, the whole bit thing, like really, but I mean she's like a sister to me. How, how could you, how could you see it like that, don't you understand? I was gonna say human emotions, but just like normal warm-blooded creature emotions. No, he's not warm-blooded.
Speaker 1:No, he's not although there's always romantic tension yeah, but like let's be more accurate.
Speaker 2:Like you know, maybe somebody has a crush on a certain, I don't know, handsome, handsome, felmont.
Speaker 1:Knight, that is in there too.
Speaker 2:Oh, it's in there. I love Triangle, it's not a triangle. I say I mean it's obvious Wilder's in love with me. I understand that the truth is. Dungeoneer Academy should be the most true stories that we can tell. Dungeoneer Magazine Academy should be the most true stories that we can tell. Don't share your magazine. Oh, season three. Gentlemen, these stories should be true. That way they actually inspire people. And if they're not true, say that they're not true, call it fiction. Both is fine.
Speaker 1:Romance sells. You know what are you going to do? Zone him. I mean that's why I even looked at it, stuck with it. I mean this guy writes really well.
Speaker 2:Well, maybe he'll write for us now instead. Well, maybe what if we start our own magazine?
Speaker 1:Good luck. Look, I hear what you're saying. I hear what you're saying Less embellishment, okay, but I need a story, and neither of you are really doing anything important lately. I tell you what. We'll give you the story of the century.
Speaker 2:We'll give you the best story ever, but we're only going to give it to you if you tell the real story of what happened. And same goes for Shane Shandar, and then I'll fist bump him. I look over my shoulder at Zonienbach, who's furiously winking at Fleeg, like as if to say just be, we'll make it work, it's fine.
Speaker 1:I need the money for my village um, shane says, all right, that, uh, that sounds like a good idea to me and I. What do you two say if we join forces for this next adventure, this next story?
Speaker 2:Immediately hero tug him yes.
Speaker 1:I've got a lead on something.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I would be honored, the Shane Shandar. Yeah, you ever slay a dragon, uh what Like it just pinholes on that I know, I know that's like the perfect place to end it, yeah. And then it un-pinholes and we say, well, we slew a wyvern kind of. It's like a tiny dragon right.
Speaker 1:I mean, I've laid waste to hordes of wyverns.
Speaker 2:How do you deal with the?
Speaker 1:poison yeah.
Speaker 2:The golden one is pretty tough, I don't know. It was like 30 feet feet tall.
Speaker 1:it was practically a dragon well, I mean, I've heard recently that there's a uh, let's, let's get out of here, let's, let's walk let's go get some burgers. Galen is I don't want to go to Pandora Express.
Speaker 2:Wow, that's going to exist by tomorrow morning. Pandora's Express.
Speaker 1:You guys start walking through town and he's saying look, there's a rumor that there's a dragon. They call it the Scarlet Worm. It's been recently awoken in the jagged hills north of here. Oh okay, oh boy, I think that'll be a huge adventure. Just imagine it, it'll be real. A dragon, though, is Exactly. You can't go wrong with killing a dragon.
Speaker 1:I mean so much could go wrong, but that much like the hardest thing to do in the world. Yeah, yeah, we're only level eight. We got thunder blade and phoenix dark. I mean I've read your stuff. If it's true which I mean you're saying it is why couldn't you do this?
Speaker 2:I mean because you know, sometimes, yes, um, sometimes part of a good adventure is is not biting off more than you can chew. You know, we, we pick our battles as wisely as we can. I mean, I think, after we defeated olgos the black man, like it's like a humble brag, I work it into the conversation. I say, uh, I think you know, when the price we paid for for slaying olgos the black man was pretty high, I mean we almost, we almost lost it on that.
Speaker 1:We know our limitations but you've learned, did you not? We did learn, gained experience.
Speaker 2:Look as as we walk into pandora's, I'm gonna like look in my purse and be like there's like no money, and I'm gonna say dragons have hordes, don't they like? A lot of that could really go a long way if we could, could somehow figure this out, Galen. That could go a long way to building a ship.
Speaker 1:It could go a long way, Look you want to deal with the Sarpathy and I have my own enemies. Okay, you ever heard of Laslar Rake?
Speaker 2:Sounds like a gardening tool. No not at all. I've never heard of it.
Speaker 1:It's better that you haven't.
Speaker 2:I'd say no, and now I want to hear about this.
Speaker 1:I don't feel like talking about it. Let's just do this dragon thing. We'll both walk away with enough money to fund all the adventures we could have for the next year.
Speaker 2:We'll do this thing for you, but what I think Galen and I want in return is we've got to know what you know about the Sarpathy.
Speaker 1:Done, yeah, yeah, I'm going to kill the dragon. Got to know what you know about the Sarpathy. Done, done, okay, yeah.
Speaker 2:Oh, okay, I'm going to kill the dragon, you guys are Pandors. Us being the coffee cake free samples for. Like that.
Speaker 1:As you guys walk into Pandor, the coffee cake, free samples yeah.
Speaker 2:As you guys walk into Pandora.
Speaker 1:Pandora's make a perception check.
Speaker 2:A lot of perceiving going on today, yeah, 11. Oh gosh, my roles, bernard. I know right.
Speaker 1:Riley, you pass by Cade Kettering just walking out.
Speaker 2:I'm going to stop in my tracks. Unwrinkle the one poster, wrinkle it back up, look at him and be like.
Speaker 1:Galen, that's the guy. Galen, you Be like Galen, that's the guy. Galen, you notice too, but like you're like way more obvious.
Speaker 2:Kate Cataract, that's awesome.
Speaker 1:He looks at you like does a double take and stares and then walks out Get him, get him. What do you? No, you don't want to get him. He's wanted.
Speaker 2:She unfurls the poster again Wanted, wanted.
Speaker 1:Are you bounty hunters? Let the bounty hunters take care of that.
Speaker 2:We do it all. That's how we keep our cash flow. That's how we are adventurers, yeah, that guy's apparently a bad dude. We don't know how to turn down a job. We're on like 40 quest threads right now. I know. I know Season 3 is turning out. We're on like 40 quest threads. I know season 3 is turning out. Season 3, 7000 episodes yeah can I see where he's?
Speaker 2:going or like actually that's what I want to do. I want to. I want to go to like a patron and be like hey, does that guy come in here often?
Speaker 1:Yeah what's it to you? You work for the magistrate, I don't work for nobody. Stop asking questions.
Speaker 2:I take his drink, drink it and then put it back down. All right, then Catch him and back up like really slowly, because you just drank my drink, riley, make a vitality check to not contract mono. She doesn't know how to intimidate this guy. She doesn't know what to do. I take a styrofoam cup and I crush it in my hand. You've actually only succeeded in seducing him.
Speaker 1:Wow Riley.
Speaker 2:And Riley began to seduce this person by drinking his drink and crushing his cup.
Speaker 1:Riley, a cheery looking Boggartgart woman, looks like a young woman, sidles up to you and says Did you want to order something?
Speaker 2:Sure Water. I would love a cheeseburger. How much are they?
Speaker 1:Oh, one cheeseburger.
Speaker 2:I mean, you get a cheeseburger and a drink for some copper coins say how much for a bucket of cheeseburgers like that guy comes and gets.
Speaker 1:Galen's still trying to work out the math oh well, you know, that's our bucket of cheeseburger deal. Silver coins. Listen I saw you guys come in. Yeah, you're not supposed to drink Other people's drinks.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm sorry. We grew up in a Communal nature where we shared Everything. I mean Kind of like grew up like gnomes. You know, maybe you can help me out. Do you know that guy that just walked out?
Speaker 1:Yeah, does he come in here often? Look, I know what you're trying to do here. I mean everyone's after Cade Cateran, but no one's got the stones to actually do anything about it, and we like it that way.
Speaker 2:You like it that way Isn't he wanted he's a bad guy.
Speaker 1:I wouldn't go sniffing around where your nose doesn't belong, you know.
Speaker 2:He's welcome here. Okay, so you guys are complicit. I get it. You're just trying to survive, it's okay. Let me note that Since when do Riley and Caitlin listen to warnings? She's got a number. My next move is going to be like Shane, shut up we.
Speaker 1:We gotta go follow this guy, yeah look, you guys are gonna have to make a choice. You want to go after this catarine bounty, which I'm definitely not joining you on that now why?
Speaker 2:why aren't you joining us? We're gonna help you that's got mystery, intrigue mystery.
Speaker 1:There's a lot of bad elements involved with that. I heard a river baron is after him. Don't want to get involved with that Probably tricky toe, gangs all mixed up in it, bounty hunters. It's a bad scene. I'd rather kill a dragon. I guess killing a dragon is a simpler idea. It is a very simple idea, Simple classic Look yeah, but I got nothing against Katarin.
Speaker 2:Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Let me interrupt you. Have you thought that perhaps your tales are too simple? There's no, we have there's more complex readers these days. They're more I don't want to call it educated, but they've certainly read a couple books here and there and they want they want more.
Speaker 1:That's why, uh, an element of romance on top of the adventure.
Speaker 2:Immediately I just like haul off and punch him in the face. I say, oh, I mean you know the, the, the, will they won't. They always hooks them in. You know, and, and, and. If you go after a dragon, it's like, well, you know, if we're right, if you're reading the story and we haven't heard that he's dead, then we know he killed the dragon. It's obvious. I mean, shane, shandar, go kill dragon, collect horde, come back.
Speaker 1:What might be interesting in my story is whether Thunderblade and Phoenix Stark survive.
Speaker 2:Are you going to kill us To make your story more interesting? No, I take out the competition he's saying the dragon would eat us. Dragon probably would eat us. I think our best bet is to get eaten by the dragon and kill it from the inside. See, that's the only plan I have right now. It's a bold move, but I don't hate it. Yeah, you gotta build a capsule big enough like a fake cow you gotta get like a crash dummy and like booby trap. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, we immediately start plotting.
Speaker 1:I've slain a dragon before. Okay, you know what. You have, I never read that one. It's one of the earliest ones. It's probably worth gold coins by now, that issue.
Speaker 2:Okay, alright, well, we gotta decide then.
Speaker 1:Gotta be fair. The dragon was already wounded.
Speaker 2:It had arthritis, yeah, wow.
Speaker 1:It was sick.
Speaker 2:It's like an osteoporotic dragon. All its bones were hollow. It had calcium deficiency.
Speaker 1:It was blind, deaf and mute.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was actually a mercy killing, you know, but we don't talk about that.
Speaker 1:It was also sort of an indirect kill, but I was there and I caused the indirect death of a dragon, okay what did you like?
Speaker 2:chop down a tree. What does indirect mean?
Speaker 1:I'm saying it didn't actually, you know, stab or slice off the head of a dragon.
Speaker 2:It died by natural causes didn't it, you know, stab or slice off the head of a dragon. It died by natural causes, didn't it?
Speaker 1:It showed up.
Speaker 2:You watched as it breathes its last breath it choked on a sheep or something. It choked on a sheep the wool just got caught in his throat.
Speaker 1:It got it right here and right here, I mean, you're not far off. It choked on my gauntlet.
Speaker 2:Choked on your gauntlet. All right, I look at the size of his gauntlet it's not that big.
Speaker 1:Well, why don't?
Speaker 2:we do this. Yeah, yeah, we know that this dragon's rumored to be in the Jagged Hills, right, why?
Speaker 1:don't we just go scout it out? Yeah?
Speaker 2:yeah, yeah, we don't have to commit to anything, let's just go scout out the area and see what's going on.
Speaker 1:Oh, all right. Oh wow, that's way up now I see it.
Speaker 2:That's way up there. You can go by junk town on the way up, pick up some junk for your crafts. I say this to Shane. I say when are you leaving to go to the Jagged Hills?
Speaker 1:Tomorrow morning.
Speaker 2:I feel like we should do it. I'm kind of intrigued. Let's do it. All right, I say we're in and then we'll come back and deal with the Kay Cataran thing, because it sounds like he's put down roots here. So we're going to have a special joint adventure between Shane Shandar Thunderblade and Phoenix Dark Crossover episode, dragon Slayers edition. That's it. That's exactly the title Part one Sounds good. Awesome.
Speaker 1:I'm excited.
Speaker 2:This is going to be fun. Yeah, I'm excited to go die in the Jagged Hills. I feel like episode two, we're going to die, yeah, and then episode three will be fire in the dragon's belly, but it's going to be us with a torch lit trying to work our way outside, out of a dragon, a dungeon inside the dragon, a dungeon in dragons, dungeons in dragons. It's how big this dragon is. How is that not a thing that should be a thing?
Speaker 2:next episode it is in a scalawag strand there's a leviathan there's a leviathan that has a dungeon in it. I love that idea.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's awesome so, before you, are you guys wanting to end this because you want to, like, go kill a dragon right now?
Speaker 2:I think we should probably end it before we do the dragon quest.
Speaker 1:I was going to say someone comes up and like slips, or actually just whispers into shandar's ear and um I say shandar, watch out.
Speaker 2:Oh, my god, he was just bringing some pancakes over what's going on? He almost killed you. I don't, I don't, actually. But I do say shandar, watch out.
Speaker 1:And I point to the guy who's reaching, coming up to whisper in his ear uh, it's, it's a woman, it's a boggart bard with she's like, decked out in blue, she's wearing a big blue hat and, uh, yes, the red bard. Uh, I'm sorry, I guess it was rude, ah yes, the Red Bard. I'm sorry. I guess it was rude of me to come up and whisper to my friend here without introducing myself. I'm Delora, I'm. I meant no harm.
Speaker 2:It's okay, we're just a little high strung. I'm Riley, that's Galen.
Speaker 1:We've never seen you before. Yeah, yeah, we're new, to're a little high strung I'm riley, that's galen.
Speaker 2:We're new to seeing you before. Yeah, yeah, we're new to town. We just got here. But you perhaps you've heard of my mighty blade and I pull out the axe, the thunder blade sorry no um look, word of advice, pandora's.
Speaker 1:You know it's a friendly place. Everyone knows your name. I would suggest I'm causing such a stir with people. People are talking and they don't like you we just wanted cheeseburgers who doesn't like us. I don't like you. I'm willing to give you a second chance, but I don't like this. I don't like you. I'm willing to give you a second chance, but yeah. I say I look around. We're just a little high strung. We've heard the rumors about this town?
Speaker 2:and what with the gangs and the corrupt police department?
Speaker 1:and Kate just walking out of here.
Speaker 2:We've heard the rumors, and so we're is in the corrupt police department and Kate just walking out of here. We've heard the rumors and so we're on edge and we just made Shin Chandra and he's a really cool guy and we're supposed to kill a dragon tomorrow. There's a lot going on. There's a lot going on.
Speaker 1:She gives a look to Shane and is like uh. So like Riley is having a breakdown in the middle of like I'm like crying, causing a scene, and I'm like, I'm like uh, guys dipping a lot of fries into some ketchup yeah I'm like you know what?
Speaker 2:uh, you know we all got off on the wrong foot. I realize this is like a family group establishment um a bucket of cheeseburgers on me. Huh, I buy a bucket of cheeseburgers for everyone to share all right, I can get beyond that. I'm gonna put a replacement drink to the guy who's?
Speaker 1:drink that I drink yeah, and a combo for that guy. I'm sorry, man.
Speaker 2:It's just a lot going on. Yeah, I roll a D8 for the silver coin pouch right and then I rolled an eight, so I don't spend it all at once, but it does become a copper now.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Okay, I say sorry. Sorry everyone. We're new to town, we're excited. This is a really cool place to be. A lot of impressive people. Sorry about your drink, sir.
Speaker 1:All right, yeah, I'll take a cheeseburger. Let's tone it down a notch.
Speaker 2:Nice to meet everyone. Hope to be back sometime soon. We can all share another bucket of chi burger all right uh they're trying to step into wally's territory says princess, funny bone, this is like the local wally's, I imagine. I, I guess. Yeah, that's funny, we roll in.
Speaker 1:You guys are used to Wally's. This is like a different atmosphere here.
Speaker 2:Yeah yeah, we're used to like a Frontier Z Wally's type deal. This is like yeah, this is a sit down restaurant without booths.
Speaker 1:We're like in a Red.
Speaker 2:Lobster right now and we're like making a scene Wow. Yeah, right now, and we're like, wow, yeah, it's a international house of pancakes, so we just want yeah uh, all right.
Speaker 1:I mean, I think we're we're good. Then you guys are gonna fight a dragon next time or go scout it out yeah, like right at the moment, you'd be like we can't do this yeah or, like you, go on and get started without us.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we'll watch your back. See Shane Chandar get eaten in one gulp. Maybe he'll choke on your greaves this time, I don't know. Wow, choke on your greaves. Dragon adventure cool. It's fun to get back into the game, man.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm excited all right, cool, okay, cool yes, very cool indeed, um wow it's always a struggle to end these things. Yeah, yes, very cool indeed.
Speaker 2:Wow, it's always a struggle to end these things. Yeah, this is actually like when we are all together hanging out. This is exactly how we try to say goodbye to each other. It's three hours later, everyone's wanted to go but we're just like, and then I fall asleep and I insist I've been awake the whole time, yeah, quiet. It's perfect, can't quit you. Pretty classic.
Speaker 1:Well, thank you for watching and thanks to everyone on Patreon for supporting us Absolutely.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:You know we actually did just release Bogtown on our work in progress Google docs. So we did that something you want to check out.
Speaker 2:It's there and you can join the Patreon.
Speaker 1:You'll get full access to the to the document at the $5. Dungeoneer tier.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. Also in other news, I'm testing out the new land of him character sheets. I don't know, I just printed these out this morning.
Speaker 1:This is page one.
Speaker 2:I haven't copied over all my stuff yet it's hard to see.
Speaker 1:I guess I could put it on the screen here. Yeah, let's go that way.
Speaker 2:Hello everyone. You can see my pages here. It's wonderful. Yeah, yeah, let's go that way. Hello everyone. You can see my pages here. It's wonderful, wow.
Speaker 1:So, oops, hey. So this is what our new character sheet is looking at, designed by V Hendro.
Speaker 2:The amazing V Hendro of Good Society. If you're familiar with the Jane Austen RPG.
Speaker 1:Yeah, she's laying out the book and retained this core element, but basically everything is new and shiny.
Speaker 2:And this is the first page and then the second page is unique for every class.
Speaker 1:So you can just check what your ability is and you don't have to worry about writing everything out. It has how to spend XP, all written here. So it's good stuff and we're really excited about it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I was really easy and fun to use during this quest, even though most of it was just us role-playing and joking around, but it was. It's really easy to use and I really it's a big upgrade.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we're super excited. That looks awesome. Clean. So fresh and so clean Clean.
Speaker 2:Mentos.
Speaker 1:The.
Speaker 2:Freshmaker, it's true.
Speaker 1:I can't tell if someone's casting spells or there's wind chimes. No, it's Ring. It's my Ring app. Someone's trying to break in.
Speaker 2:Got it.
Speaker 1:It's probably the mailman. It's my ring app I'm trying to break in. It's probably the mailman.
Speaker 2:It's probably the landlord coming to visit you, lord of the land.
Speaker 1:Bug has been alerted.
Speaker 2:Bug also has her own ring app. Hey, I know you're out there. Hey, Dan, somebody's over here.
Speaker 1:All right, let's end it there, boys.
Speaker 2:All righty.
Speaker 1:Yep, thanks for joining us.
Speaker 2:Catch you guys next weekend.
Speaker 1:Yep Sounds good.
Speaker 2:Same time, same bat channel.
Speaker 1:See ya, goodbye.
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