Land of Eem: Actual Play
Join Ben Costa, James Parks, and George Higgins as they play the Land of Eem tabletop roleplaying game, inspired by the series of fantasy books: Dungeoneer Adventures and Rickety Stitch and the Gelatinous Goo.
Ben Costa and James Parks are the creators of Dungeoneer Adventures, Rickety Stitch and the Gelatinous Goo, and the tabletop roleplaying game, Land of Eem. They have been friends since the 2nd grade, and love making stuff together.
Lovers of fantasy, they strive to craft tales that celebrate the adventures of unlikely heroes. Ben and James grew up playing tabletop roleplaying games, creating countless characters and collaborative worlds with our pals, a pastime that paved the way for their creative careers, as authors and illustrators.
Land of Eem is a tabletop roleplaying published in partnership with indie game publisher, Exalted Funeral. and is about adventurers exploring and discovering the remnants of a forgotten better age. Described as The Lord of the Rings meets The Muppets, players portray lore-seeking travelers, fortune-seeking pioneers, and adventure-seeking heroes in a time devoid of them. But for all its post-apocalyptic doom and gloom, Land of Eem is tonally quite lighthearted and droll.
Dungeoneer Adventures is a fun, middle-grade fantasy adventure series from Simon & Schuster, about the only human kid attending the adventure school, Dungeoneer Academy. The books are packed with illustrations and available at Target, Barnes & Noble, and Amazon, or you can ask for them wherever books are sold.
Rickety Stitch and the Gelatinous Goo is a fun YA graphic novel series from Random House, about a skeleton bard and his best friend on an epic quest to discover who he was when he was alive. The books are available through Exalted Funeral or online at Amazon, and you can ask for them wherever books are sold.
For more visit:
https://landofeem.com
Land of Eem: Actual Play
Land of Eem: Fantasy Actual Play S03E02 | The Scarlet Wyrm
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Join us on an audacious quest through the whimsical Land of Eem TTRPG, played in the Mucklands Campaign Sandbox Setting and published by Exalted Funeral. In this thrilling episode, our party sets out to slay the formidable scarlet wyrm nestled within the Jagged Hills, accompanied by special guest Shane Shandar—a renowned dungeoneer with an uncanny resemblance to Dolph Lundgren (from The Expendables 3) and an unexpectedly average stature.
As the dragon hunt begins, the team grapples with the scarcity of dragon-slaying supplies and dwindling finances, all while sharing laughter, sitcom references, and tales of past escapades. With Rylee and Galen's aliases of Thunderblade and Phoenix Dark in tow, camaraderie becomes the guiding force as the group navigates high winds and eerie sensations in this treacherous terrain. Between strategizing and secret-sharing, the journey strikes a perfect balance of urgency and preparedness, ensuring both tension and humor are ever-present.
The narrative crescendos in an epic tabletop RPG showdown, where creative tactics and strategic gameplay take center stage. The party dissects the dragon's vulnerabilities, employing daring moves like Shane's bullwhip leap and Claudia's heroic arrow shot to tilt the odds in their favor. Amid the clashing swords and rolling dice, the camaraderie among players shines, blending triumphs, humorous failures, and imaginative storytelling.
As the adventure culminates, the team uncovers the dragon's mythic horde, celebrating their fantastical endeavor with humor, resilience, and the joy of shared discovery. Perfect for fans of Fantasy Actual Play, Collaborative Storytelling RPGs, Rules-Light Indie RPGs, and the ever-creative TTRPG community, this episode is a testament to the magic of role-playing.
Download the Land of Eem Quickstart Guide for FREE, and join the adventure today!
https://linktr.ee/landofeem
Hi, oh my gosh, hi. Good morrow everybody. Oh, my goodness, gracious George, you're muted.
Speaker 2:It was probably better out that way to be real.
Speaker 1:Hi, everybody so right before the stream. I ate a fortune cookie Like randomly I just had one on the counter. Also ate the fortune and the fortune is, life to you is a dashing, bold adventure. Whoa yeah, it is Land of Eam. Wow.
Speaker 2:You guys are going on a dashing bold adventure today. Yeah, we are. I mean, maybe kill a dragon?
Speaker 1:One of our lucky numbers is a 12, so let's, we're going to roll some 12s. Baby Bernard's going to guide our hand. He's going to guide our hand.
Speaker 2:Bernard, wherever you are in the world, you must guide their hands, it's true.
Speaker 1:You must Egg animates, egg animates. You're a little early.
Speaker 2:Hey, hypes for the stream. If you're still here, egg, how you doing. Today is the second session of season three and, uh, you guys are in bog town you have done a couple things you've. You've met Shane Shandar, the famous Dungeoneer.
Speaker 1:Indeed, I thought he would be bigger. He's pretty no, he's pretty built. I still thought he would be bigger. He is has the exact. He looks exactly like Dolph Lundgren From the Expendables 3. He is Dolph Lundgren from the Expendables 3.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he's got a bulbous boggart nose and pointy ears and a big stache.
Speaker 1:He's a handsome fellow, hello. Hello, has a chemical engineering degree.
Speaker 2:Thank you for joining us, alright, so you guys are in Bogtown. They're. Thank you for joining us, all right, so you guys are in Bogtown. Well, the story behind this whole thing is that Dungeoneer Magazine needs good stories and Shane Shandar's stories haven't been exciting all that much lately and you guys are kind of outshining his stories.
Speaker 2:Uh, but part of that is because zone imbach has um kind of punched up the romance, the non-existent romance, between you two we swear it doesn't exist, it doesn't, it doesn't and so, uh, yeah, you've, you've partnered with shane Shandar to go on a interesting, amazing adventure, which he brought up the idea of going to slay the scarlet worm in the jagged hills yeah, that's a dragon he wants us to slay a dragon and I am legitimately terrified.
Speaker 1:Yeah, thunderblade is not terrified, it's a party of two goofballs. Am legitimately terrified, yeah.
Speaker 2:Thunderblade is not terrified.
Speaker 1:It's a party of two goofballs. Fyi it's not.
Speaker 2:Well, you're going to have Shane Chandar. He's legitimate, he's a force.
Speaker 1:I turn. Is Shane with us right now? Are we with Shane? Let's set the scene.
Speaker 2:You tell me where you are, it's the morning of the next day. Today you're supposed to go on this journey. Do you want to already be with him?
Speaker 1:Yeah, we're like we're hanging out. He's like packing up a mule on the outskirts of Bogtown as we are about to embark north to the Jagged Hills. I like the idea that Shane Shandor has a trusty mule.
Speaker 2:Yeah, let me ask you did you want to get any supplies beforehand?
Speaker 1:I would like dragon slaying supplies, whatever those are. Do you have anything in a ballista? I'll ask the guy. Yeah, it's called a crossbow, it's a handheld ballista. Yeah, that'll be one pouch of silver coins. Sorry, don't have it, we broke.
Speaker 2:I forgot.
Speaker 1:That's something we should mention. The reason we're doing this is because we are flat broke and we need resources in order to continue our own quest, and what better way to fill your coffers than with a dragon's hoard? There was a point at which we were sailing down the Black Robe paying two gold pouches to Piabity here and there for our transport, and I kept thinking to myself we're hitting that level of the game. Yeah, we're. We're like we're hitting that level of the game where we're going to be getting gold more frequently. It should be okay to spend this well and we're yeah, I mean we were headed.
Speaker 1:We were headed to go uh finish building our ship and and uh go on a pirate adventure looking for treasure yeah, this is part of the problem, you know you, you guys kind of hit a low point in your adventures, you know.
Speaker 1:I think it's more like if you look at the writers of any sitcom. They just are like how do we drag this out more and we're going to take away their money? Let's make a figure it out. Two words, stefan Urkel. Wow, he's canon in the land of him. Do we lose Ben by any chance?
Speaker 2:I heard that voice. I don't know why I have no image. It says my camera lost connection. That's disturbing. Okay, you need to see your beautiful face.
Speaker 1:Alright, everybody, let's vent for a minute. The Industrial Revolution was neither industrial nor revolution. Discuss, let's vamp for a minute. Uh, the industrial revolution was neither industrial nor revolution discuss it's true um there's ben casa. He'll be back. He'll be back um, so let's see um he's returning, he's returning. I think that I don't think there's anything we need to pick up or purchase or anything that we can't purchase, really no, I don't think there's anything we need to pick up or purchase or anything that we can purchase really no, I don't think there's anything we have enough.
Speaker 1:We have like five rations, I know right. I wonder if we can forge anything. That's a good thought. What could I possibly? Craft you're good on armor. Right now I am armor less, but that would be good. We could even just start, oh no, but we don't have any materials. I've got the great helmet on, Okay that's a start. I've got my halberd, I'm using the updated character. I'm looking at what I'm wearing now.
Speaker 2:Ah, yes.
Speaker 1:But the updated character sheet. We'll share that with everybody soon actually we're going to update a big update to the Quick Start Guide that you can check out. You can download it for free. If you hop on over to LandofGaimcom and join the newsletter, you just automatically get a link to it. And you'll find out all the updates, new art, new layout, all the changes that are coming to the.
Speaker 2:And it's not a lot of changes really, the beta is pretty fleshed out. We're getting great feedback on Discord, which you can also join to share your thoughts.
Speaker 1:But anyway, sorry, plug over no. I mean, this is the advertisement while Ben figures this stuff out. Yeah, and you know, speaking of feedback, we got some fantastic feedback on the Land of Doom Discord yesterday about treasure hunting on the Land of Doom Discord yesterday about treasure hunting, and one of the things that Ben worked on yesterday was trying to simplify and revamp the treasure hunting a little bit, because Ben and I have always felt that it was a little complicated and because we had not delivered treasure. Any playtests never really got super fleshed out, but hopefully we were successful today.
Speaker 1:Georgie and yeah yeah, shout out to melky. Or for giving us feedback in the playtest feedback channel on discord I mean that's, this is super helpful. Um, you know, because we live in our own like. Yeah, we live in our own microcosm. Like when I get 12 mundane items like three canoes, like a tennis racket and four umbrellas, I'm excited about that. But I think most normal people are not excited about that.
Speaker 2:I don't know this is the land of the issue. The issue was more with, like, the rolling aspect. I don't think it was like what you get.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I mean yeah, that's true, it's even just trying to roll 40 things. Not everyone has roll 20 to roll a bunch of things for them at once.
Speaker 2:So I don't know why I lost my camera, but I had to shut everything down. I closed my browser and I lost all my tabs oh. Ben control.
Speaker 1:shift T will reopen all of your previous, if you hit that a couple times.
Speaker 2:I don't know if I want to do that. It only worked when I shut everything down.
Speaker 1:Sinking ship says poop, which I heartily agree with.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Not only is it a great username for making that game. Welcome to the sinking ship.
Speaker 2:I hope sinking ship comes like once a week to our streams.
Speaker 1:Technologically are we living the dream. Now Enhance.
Speaker 2:It looks good.
Speaker 1:We're fine. Yeah, I think we're back to normal. I see Ben in roll 20. Yep, I got to say, for three seasons of this, this is the first time we've had a catastrophic failure. That's true.
Speaker 2:We've done this for Technologically.
Speaker 1:I don't even know how many episodes we've done, but this is season three, so I'm just going to think about it.
Speaker 2:It's like 47 episodes or something crazy like that, who knows? My internet seems to be wonky at the moment, but that's okay, we'll power through. So wonky at the moment. That's okay, we'll power through. So I can't guarantee there won't be more problems. That's what I'm trying to say.
Speaker 1:We're going to role play. It'll be Shane Shandard going off gallivanting by himself Dashing in Bold Adventure. It was foretold by the fortune cookie it was. Do we want to talk about the treasure stuff at all? James james and I were briefly I mean, we just talked. We we talked a little bit about uh yeah, we got some great feedback on discord and we're making some adjustments and maybe those will be tested today. But you know, nobody hold your breath.
Speaker 2:I don't, I don't think we want to like I find a treasure just yet.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah yeah. Totally, Totally. Riley and I discussed it. There's nothing else that we need to buy really, because we're broke. We have some rations. The chicken lizard is fed the jar of firecrackers is fed. Yes, it's all very rational, I think. We pull up to Shane Shandauer and I reach out to give him a hero tug and he looks down at my outstretched forearm and doesn't understand.
Speaker 2:I think he would totally understand.
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay, fine. And then we have a hero tug.
Speaker 2:You know, you don't.
Speaker 1:He says I don't think we're there yet. It hurts my soul.
Speaker 2:Let's see how this adventure goes.
Speaker 1:okay, I do the thing where you're reaching out for a handshake and then they reach out for it and you go too slow and I just look even dumber because he's not practicing. I shake my head silently, like come on, can't we just met this guy? He's the only thing that's going to save our lives from the drone. Got to channel Thunderblade. Got to channel Thunderblade.
Speaker 2:Is there a Rickety Stitch Land of Eme Discord? Yes, yes, there is.
Speaker 1:We'll link it right now. You can check it out. It's got sections for Rickety Stitch, it's got sections for the Land of EMRPG and if you're looking for a group, there's groups formulating every day now, which is awesome, it is awesome, okay, yeah. Well, there we go, let's begin your journey. Journey begin, I say to Shane. I say to Shane, I say Shane, do you always hunt by yourself? You never have someone else with you.
Speaker 2:I often employ hirelings. You know, usually folks who are very knowledgeable of the area I'm going into so like guides and such yeah, a Sherpa, if you will.
Speaker 1:Sure Puh, puh, meh, I say, but they're just guides. Do you ever hire other adventurers to go with you?
Speaker 2:No, no, that's just. You know you don't want to give too much away. You know splitting things six ways, three ways gotta have your secrets and I don't need it, frankly and I mean look, just be, just be happy that we're, we're going on this adventure together, okay, no, we are happy.
Speaker 1:We're just trying to figure out the dynamic. I'm really excited to be here. I appreciate you allowing us to participate in this dragon hunt. He wants to know if we're like your butlers or whatever.
Speaker 2:Riley, if I thought you were my butlers, I wouldn't bring you along. I don't need dead weight.
Speaker 1:Understood the implication that Galen is not dead weight to Shane Chander actually like really kind of tickles him. He's like, oh nice, he thinks I'm something.
Speaker 2:I mean you're Thunderblade and Phoenix Dark.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, thunderblade and Phoenix Stark. Yeah, yeah, thunderblade here, phoenix Stark. Write that down. Write that down, zona. They are Thunderblade and Phoenix. We already knew this. Why aren't they repeating themselves? Classic.
Speaker 2:All right, begin your journey. All right, someone make a travel check.
Speaker 1:Should we take the road and go straight to Veselberf, To Thrig to Jagged Hills, To Thrig to Jagged Hills?
Speaker 2:Taking the road gives you plus one.
Speaker 1:It's realms, right? Okay, we got a nine. Oh, we're 10 actually, with the realms or with the uh, with the road. So we're gonna move. One leg, two legs, two.
Speaker 2:One leg, two hexes yeah, all right, that's a uneventful journey. As you travel along the road, you can. Um One leg, two hexes. Yeah, all right, that's an uneventful journey as you travel along the road. You can, george, you can search for stuff, resources.
Speaker 1:I'm going to search for elemental items. I'm going to make a wilderness check. That's a 12, baby. That's a wilderness check. That's a 12, baby. That's a 14 total. Any resources I was saying I wanted to do Gather materials? No Fish, pick, herbs. Was there a gather elemental resources one, or am I crazy? I guess that's lumped into a high enough role in a, uh, gather materials check. Okay, so I maybe I would have been doing that. Um, so I rolled a 14, gather 1d6 materials and choose an elemental component, which I will do while james rolls. Um, so, james, you can add one material to your pile. Okay, I'll do my own elemental component check. We're in Fleabag County.
Speaker 2:All right, james, make a travel check. Eight, oh, we're all going to die.
Speaker 1:Sure, these are quest points. No, I don't want to.
Speaker 2:Your max is plus three, so it'd be seven, seven. Sorry Okay, roll a d6. A d6. Like a d6, like a d6 three you guys are exhausted.
Speaker 1:I feel it. It's tough to keep pace with Shane Shandar, yeah, and we're also kind of embarrassed that we can't keep pace.
Speaker 2:So we're like gu of embarrassed that we can't keep pace so we're like guzzling water and eating extra food. Come on, pick it up, gonna lose time.
Speaker 1:He's a slave driver man. I'm still a little out of shape, shane, sorry.
Speaker 2:Out of shape. How's that even possible?
Speaker 1:Well, I mean, we haven't been eating well, essentially just been eating hot dogs for two months. I can really go for a salad. Yeah, we haven't had any roughage in our systems in way too long. Are you saying we need to?
Speaker 2:stop in Beasleberf. It might be a good idea. What do you think? We're going to lose time?
Speaker 1:We're going to lose half a day if we do that Well we won't be rested right if we're going to fight a dragon, galen is not going to be there tomorrow.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:I think Galen would be like no, no, we got to power through.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's good. Let's go Like forget Beezleblur, forget salads, all right.
Speaker 1:I'm like I hold my own, but I'm like totally disappointed internally.
Speaker 2:You kind of skirt around and, beezleberf, you want to go here or here.
Speaker 1:Which way? Yeah, we can go up towards Thrieg Thrieg, thrieg Thrieg. Yeah, th can go up towards Thrieg Thrieg, thrieg Thrieg. Yeah, thrieg is right there. Jagged Hills is right on the other side of that bridge. That's where our gravestones will be.
Speaker 2:Hey Princess Funnybone.
Speaker 1:Hey, welcome Welcome.
Speaker 2:Tackling your own personal dungeon? Huh, that sounds harrowing.
Speaker 1:It's awesome. Sinking Ship says I'll be sure to join more streams to say poop. We appreciate that. We look forward to your future poop endeavors. Yes.
Speaker 2:Everybody poops, it's true, everybody poops. All right, all right, it's the end of the day. Sorry, I'm a little flustered after getting disconnected and all that. Oh good man, technology Kind of threw me off.
Speaker 1:Got to get a shrimp over there. You know, cranking on the spud of technology, I think I got bunglewood for my. It was taking forever for me to find my item list. Yes, sorry, carry on, fine my item list. Um, yes, sorry carry on.
Speaker 2:So you're all making camp with shane chandar. Um, is there anything what you want to say to each other? Remember that you can tell a story about yourself in lieu of like building relationships um, yeah, maybe we can tell.
Speaker 1:We'll start telling the story of, like the time. Uh, hold on, let me just scroll back in my quest log and I'll turn to riley and I'll be like hey, riley, I'll say it just loud enough for for shane to I say remember when we fought alongside Jayla the Red Axe that night of that Felmog night, how could I ever forget it? I pull out her Red Axe. I say you know, I kind of miss her. She was a great asset against the Sarpathy threat when we were invading their underground or underwater temple. Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 2:You made it into their temple.
Speaker 1:Oh, sorry, didn't see you there, I didn't wake you.
Speaker 2:I didn't wake you, Riley.
Speaker 1:I do like a phantom fist bump with him. Yeah, I say yeah, yeah, we were all the way down in Galen pulls out this map. We were all the way down in Hex, like you know 1221.
Speaker 2:I don't know if you've been there. It was a little north of the Scallywag.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it was a little south of Dunk, north of the Scallywag Strand, there's a lake, a massive lake, filled with muckmen and Sarpathy. We went there in search of not only the Sarpathy, but I think we were after the Wyvern too, right yeah, and we weren't even sure that there was anything there. It was just kind of a rumor.
Speaker 2:But when we saw that gigantic Sargog- Yeahog yeah, oh yeah, this all sounds made up no, no, I show.
Speaker 1:I show him the, the fang marks, the scars I have from when the sargog bit me, because I actually you know what I have? Venom from the sargog. Yeah, oh, you do you have the same?
Speaker 2:you can create a uh it, but it didn't work.
Speaker 1:Yeah, there's the Venom right there.
Speaker 2:The Sargog's name was Karul. This is just Sargog's, but Sargog's are not venomous. He hands it back to you. Oh, you try getting bitten by Sargog.
Speaker 1:I'm feeling.
Speaker 2:That's why it didn't work.
Speaker 1:Oh, I just toss it didn't work. Oh, I just toss it into the fire. So you totally come over and just like craps on our parade, which I love. So I think Galen's a little deflated because this story has gone off the rails and he says, yeah, you know, we were captured and then escaped. And then, yeah, we got out of there with our lives, we helped the muck men in the battle against the Sarpathian. Yeah, I guess it's not that cool of a story anyways.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, not many people have delved into the temple or even know that it exists it was spooky.
Speaker 1:They're up to something that's hard. They've been kidnapping people and they've been all over. They destroyed our village. That's really what this is about for us, we're trying to figure out just what they're up to and to stop them from taking over the Mucklins. Yeah, I say, Shane, have you ever seen a Hierophant? They have three heads and four arms. They're spawned by the Queen Sindranoth. They're terrifying.
Speaker 2:I have. I have seen a Hierophant before. Nothing that grotesque or monstrous.
Speaker 1:Seen a two-headed one the one we saw was three-headed, four-armed. It was worse, terrifying. I say uh, you know, you know the sarpathy threat that don't you feel compelled to do something about it don't you feel compelled to do something about it?
Speaker 1:There's only so much that one person can do. I mean, maybe if you could share more about your experience because, George, if you remember, we're doing this partially helping him to have him tell us about the Sarpathy. I totally forgot that. I genuinely was just trying to think of a cool story to tell Shane Shandar. It was genius george.
Speaker 2:All right, it was just it's. I'm channeling my inner galen. It was a genius georgie. Well, I I don't want to. I want to make sure that you guys don't uh abandon this adventure if I just spill the beans on everything I say, shane, we're in, we're a man and woman of our words.
Speaker 1:We would never abandon you words, um, but I'm just saying that maybe, after this dragon threat is dealt with, it would be we could share some intel, because we think this sarapathy threat is is is much bigger than people realize well, I've heard some rumors and I think they have a another location, headquarters or something whatever.
Speaker 2:They call it hive of scum and villainy, a den snake, den Snake, den Nest.
Speaker 1:Ah, Based on my experience, it's probably some unknowable horrifying temple deep within the Earth. Am I right?
Speaker 2:Yeah, they say there might be something near the spill.
Speaker 1:Oh jeez, we were just in the spill.
Speaker 2:Spill's the worst place I've ever been.
Speaker 1:Shane, if you go back and listen to season two, episode nine through twelve, Is that actually nine through twelve? I don't know.
Speaker 2:If you were that accurate, it would blow up.
Speaker 1:That would have been awesome.
Speaker 2:It is in season two.
Speaker 1:I tell Shane, we were just there, we saw horrible. And then just at that moment, gabe, the monk fairy creature kind of comes splurging onto my shoulder. I'm like, not now Gabe. Oh yeah, horrible creatures. And I point at Gabe. There was this. What was he? An ogre who was experimenting fusing creatures, together with the secret of the ewes.
Speaker 2:You should probably not keep that as a pet.
Speaker 1:So he's harmless and there's like he's meanwhile sucking on my neck or something. I'm like Gabe, stop it, stop it. It's like a soul with rat bones.
Speaker 2:Yeah, jandar pokes it with a stick.
Speaker 1:It hisses and it's like fleas down my back. Are you sure?
Speaker 2:that's safe.
Speaker 1:I mean you know how it is Nothing safe, we don't really know. But this guy's been following us around for a while. He seems all right, yeah. And then I say, wait, have I introduced you to Claudia? Immediately Claudia comes clucking around the lizard on her back.
Speaker 2:Now. That's different from the spill.
Speaker 1:Claudia, that's a curse right, or is she a mutant too? I think it was. I think she got spill juice on her in that fuse with the lizard.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you're right, it is toxic.
Speaker 1:She's my tiny mobile weapons platform. Yeah.
Speaker 2:You got. She's my tiny mobile weapon platform. Yeah, oh, you got quite the menagerie.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and of course you know zona, he's our chronicler. He now has fangs and zona goes. He just mostly eats mud and soup. This is this is the first time, I think, that Galen has fanboyed out over their previous adventures Like I realize. We've had a ton of adventures.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you have, and it's it all. I'm telling you, it all doesn't sound real these are fantastic adventures.
Speaker 1:Well, I mean, we grew up on the stories of Shane Shandor. You've had fantastic adventures yourself. I'm sure that what might seem mundane to you is mind-blowing to the rest of E. I want to relive the glory days and find our own glory days. Maybe together we can have that grand adventure.
Speaker 2:Ever since I rode that gargle beast in the underlands, it steered it away from the undercity. I feel like things have just really gone downhill. Nothing's quite topped that.
Speaker 1:Well, you know why do you have to top it? You're an explorer. People should be interested in the stories of your explorations. Doesn't mean they need to be amazing. It's not like we go out and seek these amazing adventures. We're just trying to do the right thing and we get wrapped up into it and boy oh boy, the road is a hard place to live. Yeah, I think that's the thing you've. Before you were adventuring for the sake of adventuring. I wonder if now, I wonder if now you're so wrapped up in topping yourself you're not enjoying it anymore.
Speaker 2:You see, like a troubled, depressed look sweep across his face.
Speaker 1:I say, Shane, let's just have fun with this. Let's do it for ourselves and not for the readers. I'd like to jump on the word fun, I will use inspiring order to no, it's fine, I'll just make an inspire check. I think I still just have a plus one. Let's make an inspiration check Six. I mean he looks at me. I mean I can do some stuff, I can re-roll it. I mean that's enough. I think that's enough to kind of Nudge him in the right direction.
Speaker 2:You're right, let's, let's go wild, let's just have fun okay, I reach out again for the hero tug.
Speaker 1:He gives it to you, like it happens right in front of me, like yeah, I'm like a little nervous, like okay, like let's remember what we're trying to do here guys.
Speaker 2:yeah, the only rational way A flame just like around your.
Speaker 1:The camera pans up on the wisp of the column of smoke coming from the fire and it pinholes to the next morning as the music swells and. Riley is just like nervously, like uh guys. I don't know.
Speaker 2:Alright, the next morning.
Speaker 1:That's some relationship building. We're getting XP for that baby. It's the good stuff. That's what I crave. It's Brondo Wow.
Speaker 2:Marlon Brondo, marlon Brondo, marlon Brondo. Alright, it's the next day. You've got another Day of Traveling to reach the Jagged Hills.
Speaker 1:Alright, you want to roll it, trudy, I do, I do, I do, it's true. Ooh, it's a seven. Seven, I'm not so on the lookout today, as I was yesterday um, kind of riding high. Now that we're with shane chandar and we've kind of hit a groove, uh, we move one up towards thrigg. I don't think we need to stop at three, we can just uh, I guess we're moving two. You want to just bypass three and go for that bridge?
Speaker 2:Yeah, why not?
Speaker 1:I turn to Shane and I say, shane, we're about to enter the Jagged Hills. There they are, the Jagged Hills. They're like the teeth, the bottom jaw of a dragon, creaky wheels of the wagon on the cobblestones of the bridge. Yeah, yep.
Speaker 2:They surely are jagged. Have you ever been here?
Speaker 1:Maybe I think we've passed through, possibly, but we never went into the hills. I've never been in the hills myself. Jalen shoves like a field ration in his mouth. While they're talking he's like no, no, no, daggett Hills. I don't remember him. I think we sailed down the river to the north.
Speaker 2:Um, you guys encounter like really high winds. Uh, you've run afoul of bad weather. It's like super windy. Um, yeah, uh, you've run afoul of bad weather.
Speaker 1:It's like super windy, um, yeah, like it's almost difficult to ride on top of our mounts. I have to get down off of um fb and lead her, yeah, through like dust and whatever yeah, so this next travel check will have disadvantage and yeah.
Speaker 2:Also the other thing I was going to say you also move only one hex in mountains.
Speaker 1:Okay, I mean we're almost. Yeah, we're almost. I assume that it is in one of the nearby hexes seas Right, yeah, we're almost. I assume that it is in one of the nearby hexes.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so once you enter the nearby hexes, you'll stop One hex.
Speaker 1:Jonah hex Six. Alright, I feel that I could have been worse. That definitely could have been worse. That ain't great.
Speaker 2:Alright, you enter the jagged hills, which are more jagged than they appear on the map.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Good copyright structure.
Speaker 1:Mario.
Speaker 2:They're pointy, jagged rocks. It's not smooth traveling.
Speaker 1:Traveling it's like you're walking on uneven gravel and rocks and uh, everything is pointy, yeah even the gravel is pointy, like there's nothing smooth or worn down. You're walking on caltrops. Yeah, yes, exactly my toe, my toe. I'm gonna be careful to walk into other people's footprints because I'm too light and I keep scrambling up or sliding down.
Speaker 2:So you don't make it too far in the hills before night starts to fall. You just get an uneasy feeling that things are watching you.
Speaker 1:The hills have eyes, it's true. Um, that's the sound of blood curling screams. I'm thinking, if there's anything, if I want to just uh, ben, can I discerning I uh like kind of a, a rocky outcropping that would be really suitable for a camp, so that we're a little more protected, in the sense that stuff can only come from one direction in the night?
Speaker 2:discerning eye is more like it's like weakness or a vulnerability.
Speaker 1:Okay, yeah, that's fair. That's fair. I, that's fair, I will, I will look for make like a survival check, maybe a wilderness, wilderness. Yeah, I think I'll do that. I type today that's an 11. I say Shane Shane because I only care about getting Shane's approval, that rocky outcropping looks really defensible. There's a little bit of a peaked roof for an outlet for our smoke to go up. We can have our backs to the wall. I think it'd be a good place to set up camp as night falls.
Speaker 2:Yeah, good eye, it's a very discerning eye.
Speaker 1:Wow, galen reached out for another hero tug because he knows it would just be like needy at this point. But you see like Riley sees his hand quivering a little bit like he wants to hero tug. I'm gonna roll my eyes and then like look at the approach, yeah, where things would come from the camp and I'm gonna use'm going to use trap making to collect everybody's spoons after dinner and tie them all up to a rope that's low so that if something tries to pass, through it'll jingle.
Speaker 1:Shane is hesitant to give up his favorite traveling spoon.
Speaker 2:This is my spoon up, his favorite traveling spoon.
Speaker 1:Ah, this is my spoon. Yeah, I'm going to have to, I just need one more.
Speaker 2:You can get it back.
Speaker 1:You can get it back in the morning, shane. This is how we survive. Zona Imbach documents. And thus began the great spoon fight of that evening.
Speaker 2:Fine, take the spoon. I guess it's kind of gross.
Speaker 1:But Zbach is actually making shane shandara out to seem really petty, like just like blowing up all the terrible like he didn't want to give a spoon. My total is eight. Nice, it's okay, that was advantage man for the one and a five you want to do? You want to suck a quest of punta? Make it a nine. Is that worth it?
Speaker 1:You want to save them all for the dragon when we die. You know what? I will use a quest point and my reasoning is because I'm afraid of getting beat up before we have to kill the dragon. That makes sense.
Speaker 2:So I'm going to use a quest point to make a nine, to set up the trap Get that mana quest point.
Speaker 1:Imagine that's how Shane talks. So your trap is just it's more of a warning. It's like an alarm. Yeah, using trap making to make an alarm so that we don't get pounced on. Little did you know it was going to be flying creatures that beset us in the night, yeah right, just specters. Yeah, we put up Ghost Spoonie. Ghost Spoonie, I see you like to play Knifey Spoonie too. Okay, okay, um four bog witches you're lucky.
Speaker 2:You're lucky this evening, yes, you had a three and six chance of encountering something, but the night goes uh, without incident. You just hear the jingle of your spoons a couple times from the wind hear those spoons.
Speaker 1:They jingle, jangle, jingle. It's true, um, you get up in the morning and I. I get up early to put a pot of coffee on for shane and also riley, but mostly for shane. But when I pick up the pot to pour myself some, it's all it's all gone, it's all mostly coffee grounds.
Speaker 1:Shane is like up before you and you have no idea how, because you yeah I really set your heart on getting up yeah I wake up and I'm like oh, oh, coffee, already coffee is he's like finishing shaving with? Yeah I say uh, and I, as I sip the coffee, I'm like shame, this is the best coffee I've ever had and like that's not even like me trying to build them up, I'm like you've got to teach me the secrets of road coffee.
Speaker 2:It's all about the beans Wow.
Speaker 1:Get out of here. This can't be the best coffee you've ever had.
Speaker 2:I silently hand Riley the cup yeah.
Speaker 1:And it's like that's the best coffee I've ever had too.
Speaker 2:These come all the way from Button Hollow the gnomes they're.
Speaker 1:Finest Arabica beans from Button Hollow Do you hand grind them every morning? He actually uses the hilt of his sword to crush them To the appropriate grind size.
Speaker 2:I had this hilt, this pommel custom built size. I had this hilt, this pommel custom built.
Speaker 1:I say it'll grind enemies' faces and it'll grind coffee beans. That is a true multi-tool.
Speaker 2:I'm learning so much. Well, these are the little things that make the journey worth journeying. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:Zonianbach writes that down verbatim and he says that was a good one, shane, we like that. He claps his hands together. He's like all right, let's have some fun today.
Speaker 2:Yeah, do this for us now. It's gonna be a little tough to uh find the scarlet worms uh cave here, you know actually worms cave here you know, actually, are you going to do it?
Speaker 1:I was going to use hyper clues and have it be something tremendously obvious like a gigantic footprint with red scales just scattered around.
Speaker 2:I think it's that way guys.
Speaker 1:Roll search yeah, it is, yeah, baby, it is. Wow, actually it's done and we can clearly see that we've camped in a footprint. Yeah, that was yeah, oh, no, I love it.
Speaker 2:I was going to give you guys disadvantage on searching around False, so you will just have a normal check, search, check to search around the hills.
Speaker 1:Let me get a search check baby search around the hills, let me get a search check baby. I really gotta improve my stats instead of just leveling up all the time yeah, I did a whole level of terrible. Um, I think I have search. Oh, I'm going to sneeze. I'll roll in a second.
Speaker 2:Sneezing Did you mute your sneeze.
Speaker 1:I was waiting for it.
Speaker 2:I did mute my sneeze. That is courtesy.
Speaker 1:definitely I was actually primed for it and expecting it, it didn't happen.
Speaker 2:Can you give us a fake sneeze? I felt kind of let down.
Speaker 1:I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have said anything. I should have just muted. I rolled a 10. That's a 10 for the search. Nice, we're using up all our good rolls getting to the dragon, wherein our bad rolls will kick in and we'll die.
Speaker 2:Yep alright, you're able to follow Riley's clues and take it from there. Shane Chandar is really impressed. It's like you just found it like that. I mean, that's the fastest dragon hunt I've ever had.
Speaker 1:She's amazing. Well, I mean, I blush.
Speaker 2:I mean we've gotten deep into the Jagged Hills without any encounters.
Speaker 1:This is Don't jinx it, be cool, be cool, don't jinx it. Yeah, I mean, this is fun, random encounter starts. Moment he says attack my Scrockwings. Yeah, Shane, I'm having a ton of fun too. Buddy, I can't wait to get to this dragon and see it in action. Would you guys focus on the challenges at hand? There's a dragon in here.
Speaker 2:Make one of you make a perception check.
Speaker 1:Oh, it should not be me. My perception is terrible. Is Riley's much better? I'm okay. Mine's plus one.
Speaker 2:Okay, thank you you for perceiving you. Uh, catch a whiff of like hot air, just kind of like it only hits your face, riley sorry, I was walking in for any riley.
Speaker 1:It was me, I had my mouth.
Speaker 2:It smells like sulfur a little bit, but then it like yeah, I'd be like shh guys, do you smell that?
Speaker 1:Come here Like show them where the heat's coming from. It's like down there. We all like crawl to the edge of an overlook or something.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you're peering down into darkness now.
Speaker 1:Peering down at Charlie Murphy. Wow, dave Chappelle, I just squint really hard into the darkness. I know it's not going to help at all. It's just like you see Galen squinting like, peering as much as he can into it you see darkness and it really just kind of pierces your soul mercurial darkness yeah it's like you're taking in the sublime. It's Derridian darkness. I'm sorry, gosh.
Speaker 2:It struck me like a whore. Out of the darkness comes a dragon named.
Speaker 1:All of us have English degrees. Shane Shandar turns to us. He says Do you know the name of the dragon? And he whispers it's Dawa hair. Oh Sorry, guys. We're making jokes about having the same professors in college right now. Oh God. Yeah, it's deep, deep, it's meta.
Speaker 2:I mean, there definitely are some Dawahis and Dawahoos.
Speaker 1:There's a lot. There's a lot of versions of Solomon. All the Dawahis and Dawahoos know Kung Fu. You just see them walking around in karate keys. They're in line at the Freudian sip. Sorry To everyone watching, this is like.
Speaker 2:George is going off the rails.
Speaker 1:I am out of control. I'm fatigued. I'm out of control. I apologize. Let's return to the pit. All right, Guys? Do we really need a slant dragon to be famous?
Speaker 2:No, this isn't about fame.
Speaker 1:This is about fun really we're already famous. Is that fun?
Speaker 2:shane chandler just jumps in the hole oh my god all right, right, let's uh no, let's go.
Speaker 1:let's go, we're good, I'm the last one to go in. Let's be like like, let's do Shane Shandar, alright, we got you here. No, I leap in after Shane, I go in last. It was the biggest grin on my face as I leap in with a red axe flaming above my head.
Speaker 2:Alright, everyone make an athletics check.
Speaker 1:Or break your legs. I am not an athlete, but I'll take that nat 11. That was pretty solid. I roll a six, I think I stumble as I go down the embankment and I kind of do a little roll and I clamber back to my feet.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you took a little dread because you rolled a bunch of sharp rocks it makes sense.
Speaker 1:Okay cool, I have 22 courage out of 23.
Speaker 2:Okay, you guys are in complete darkness.
Speaker 1:I use my infravision.
Speaker 2:I'm afraid you do. Wow, you guys have a lantern. Do you want to use it though? That's the thing.
Speaker 1:I'm afraid of sparking it up, and then the first thing I see is a is a six foot, eyeball. I wonder if okay, wonder if a firefly jar would raise less suspicion from the dragon than like a lantern. So how much damage we take no rolling up the dragon's abilities. Oh my god, lord um, I make a perception check to hear where shane is, so I can go back to back with him and I I grab riley's hand and we move together. It's like shuffling along the wall.
Speaker 2:Yeah feeling uh cold rocks.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because of the echoes in the cavern I actually move farther away from Shane.
Speaker 2:The plus is you're right next to Riley. You guys are together, but you've lost Shane.
Speaker 1:Yeah, say Riley, riley, this isn't fun anymore. No, I'm glad you see that now. I'm glad you see that now because I'm glad you see that now because this has not been fun ever since we decided to come and die. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, we gotta get. We gotta find Shane. I'm sure he's gonna have like some kind of battle cry here in a minute and then we'll go. Shane is overcompensating. He's an explorer. He shouldn't have to do this. This is crazy. We got to get out of here. It's okay, we'll be fine, we'll be fine. Yeah, we hear Shane at all. Or is he just like lurking stealthily waiting to kill us?
Speaker 2:You don't hear him. He's gone as far as you. Unless you like, light your torch or whatever. You have your lantern.
Speaker 1:I am regrettably going to gently shake my jar of fireflies. So a soft glow begins to firefly jar, perpetual light best part of our river country trip. Yeah, I gently shake it so there's a very soft, faint glow.
Speaker 2:We can see our foot, kind of like our feet, and the immediate surroundings perhaps okay, you briefly see ahead of you Shane Shandar's legs, but he ducks behind a rock. You don't see a dragon, you don't see a dragon.
Speaker 1:Can we cautiously follow him around the corner or behind the rock? I mean, I know he's just on the hunt. At this point I just don't want him to attack us, Attack you. I mean, just like I don't want us to sneak up on him or something and like surprise him. I don't think we could possibly surprise Shane. Actually I do it, I sneak up behind him.
Speaker 2:You'll have to make a sneak check.
Speaker 1:Is Riley for Riley to sneak up on him, or just?
Speaker 2:for us to not make a mistake, or is that running To get to him? You have to make a sneak check.
Speaker 1:Oh so nine Thank you. Oh, I had to make. We have to make a sneak check. Oh, so Nine Thank you. Oh, I have to make minus one. You have to make one too, minus one, that's a two.
Speaker 2:Is it better to?
Speaker 1:be a complete failure, or should I bump it to a three? Is it three? I?
Speaker 2:don't know. A three is better than a two yeah, right, it's like a failure if you're asking like is it better to die now versus?
Speaker 1:later yeah yeah, I, I use it. I use the quest point and I bump it to a three like ow as I bang my shin on a low-hanging rock.
Speaker 2:Alright, you do that and you scramble behind the rest of them, but you hear like a massive grumble, like someone. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1:I'm sorry, I'm sorry like someone, sorry, sorry, sorry sorry. And then you hear like someone, like a creature that's waking up, like I'm gonna whisper to Shane and be like we can't even see in here. We should lure it out into the daylight and quiet okay, I'm gonna use my don't need to be rude. How many is my flaw in a kind of a creative way, okay, stumble like at the end and opportune time.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna say like sorry, like at full and then immediately cover my own mouth just because I'm being polite, you can. You can feel Shane staring at you, sorry that you just hear a huge roar.
Speaker 2:You feel like a hot breath. That's just come.
Speaker 1:That must have come from a giant mouth, and um then, um, then you hear it say uh, it's all right, I'm going back to bed. Appreciate that, it's uh yeah you.
Speaker 2:You also feel like the worst, stinkiest, or you smell the worst and feel it Like it. It's first. It just feels like that breath that you first sniffed, riley.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:But then, like all of a sudden, there's just like a waft of like horrible bog breath. Um, you all are plus two defense, oh no, that means I'm plus two defense.
Speaker 1:Oh no, that means I'm plus three defense, you and me both dude you and me both, it's just making you ill, yeah. If you're watching and not familiar. Higher defense is bad. It's bad. Yeah, I know it sounds like a positive thing that means plus three to their attack against us.
Speaker 2:Yep, so you guys are in a conflict. Obviously you haven't seen the creature yet, but I guess if you really wanted to turn your lantern on Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1:I start shaking the firefly jar furiously.
Speaker 2:I want to see it. Yeah, George, you see a giant head about 20 feet away from you. You can barely make out its giant body behind it. It's bright red.
Speaker 1:I feel like Shane's just going to get immediately eaten in the first attack. It's like when Matthew McConaughey leaps off that giant tower with the axe and he just gets eaten tower with the axe and rain of fire and he's just, and he's just like rain of fire reference. Yeah, I'm dragging the podcast down, guys, you got to find better better co-hosts.
Speaker 2:No dude, that's, that's great, that's great stuff. Um, yeah, you know that Shane is. You can see already that he's poised to just go all in.
Speaker 1:I'm going to grab him, grab Shane by the belt and be like look, shane, this is crazy, we've got to get out of here. This is not, this is vainglorious. Like this isn't fun. Like this is. This doesn't need to be a Dungeoneer magazine. What did this creature ever do to us? Like we can't? We can't, just like Ben. Can I narrate Shane real quick? Sure, shane ignores what Riley is saying and turns to Galen and says Galen, are we having fun? Are?
Speaker 2:we having fun yet, galen.
Speaker 1:That was unintentional. Unintentional. Galen gives Shane the knowing nod because he's all in at this point uh, yeah.
Speaker 2:So I mean riley, you could, yeah, your words kind of fall on deaf ears. Um, you could make a mic check at uh disadvantage to keep him from rushing in.
Speaker 1:Can I use the might check? Can I slap him instead and be like? Get a snap out of it, Galen, and you're nothing but an instigator.
Speaker 2:No, you're short and he's in front of you, ready to go, and you grabbed him by the belt.
Speaker 1:Alright, I will do a mic check.
Speaker 2:I will this is all like split seconds yes, um, I love it.
Speaker 1:It's pretty mighty. It's disadvantage you gotta get your bad roll out there we go.
Speaker 2:All right, yep, yeah, um, all right, that was your action, galen. Does anybody?
Speaker 1:want to talk to the dragon. No, I want a discerning eye. Okay, I want a discerning eye, his scales, to say that they are metallic in nature. Okay, okay, ah, it's a four. It doesn't work, it's okay, it's all right. Next, next turn, I'm gonna discerning eye, his mouth and say, uh, he has metal caps on his teeth. That's genius. He's got like a filling. It's like you know. That's his weak spot. Chop right through One gold tooth.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, that was a failure with a plus. What do you think the plus is?
Speaker 1:They're not metal. Maybe that his oh sure how about this? Because of his immense size, um, his scales actually are less. They're less defensive versus another dragon because they're spread so thin, like, due to his mass they're kind of stretched out and thinned. So maybe is that too good. It's probably too good. I'm gonna say he has some kind of his defense. Wouldn't be as good as another dragon. Maybe maybe, like, uh, the scales could get hung up on all the jagged, uh, rocks and stuff that we had to sure climb to get up.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they're kind of knurled and hooked so he can get hung up on a tight space like this.
Speaker 2:Yeah, maybe make him less dexterous cool yeah, maybe he has like like this yeah, maybe make him less dexterous. Cool yeah, maybe he has lifted up scales that get caught all the time.
Speaker 1:Okay, you just hear him fussing as he tries to get us Stupid scales. Why did I pick such a small?
Speaker 2:Look, I'm sleeping in Velcro. For Christ's sake, yeah sleeping in Velcro, for christ's sake. Yeah, sleeping in velcro is good, all right. Um, that is shane's initiative. Shane was so-and-so wow. So that's not your action, george, it's true, yes. So what are you actually doing?
Speaker 1:as my action. I mean, it would just be I mean attacking, I think, because I have a feeling shame will attack. I too will attack and follow him in.
Speaker 2:Okay roll initiative.
Speaker 1:Wow, you both go after the dragon, which is good stuff. Makes Ben happy. See you on the other side, ray.
Speaker 2:I mean I'm happy to be playtesting a dragon.
Speaker 1:I'm a little worried for you guys. When the GM worries for us, it's like one of the most powerful creatures in all of Land of Eden Devastatingly powerful.
Speaker 2:Okay, okay, it will kill us. Sorry, sorry, sorry sorry, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1:I'm sorry, father he's gotta scroll through the two pages of death creating abilities that the dragon has. Yeah, he's like I rolled a one, a four, a six and a twelve. He's got poison breath, poison tail, fire butt, fire butt. Is that what you said? Fire butt. That's true. You can't sneak up behind him because he's got a fire butt Breathing fire out of both ends, just dragging chili all day, burning wind.
Speaker 2:It's dragon chili all day Burning wind. George, you are attacked with a splash of acid breath.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's the worst yeah.
Speaker 2:No counter. Okay, so your metal armor or weapon or something is destroyed.
Speaker 1:No, he's wearing magical armor. No, no, what I do, ben, is I hold up my shield to block it. It's destroyed, it's destroyed. Hold on, let me read this verbatim real quick. Uh, tell me, it's star fell or something like sturdy cannot be broken.
Speaker 1:That's a stretch, because that's broken versus like destroyed. I guess I might just suck it up. I'd rather lose that than lose anything else. It's fine. Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Even better, ben, no, that's fine. Yeah, I was going to say I hold up. I'm wearing Welder's gauntlet, non-magical black gauntlet that gets destroyed, but no, let's do the shield thing is destroyed, but nah, it's. Uh, let's do the shield thing.
Speaker 2:That's more cinematic holding up the shield it's immediately destroyed, but it's not because it's indestructible. Well, oh, I should take dread oh, is there a difference between indestructible and yeah?
Speaker 1:that's the thing I'm thinking. It's like if it's, if it says, cannot be broken. I think that it's gonna be destroyed, yeah, I believe that there is because there is ind be broken. I think that it's going to be destroyed. Yeah, I believe that there is because there is indestructible which? I think Starfell provides, but I don't remember exactly.
Speaker 2:Cannot be broken is just like if you get wounded and stuff breaks and you have to repair it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I think I'd rather lose the shield than my magical armor, your shield melts off of your arm, but you also take damage. I throw it to the ground. Um, yeah, so the shield, okay, the shield blocked three of it, which is fortunate, fortunate, son. Um, so I had 23 out of 24. Yeah, okay, carry on, I had 22 plus 5, 7 minus 3. 24. Okay.
Speaker 2:Okay, it bites at Shaneane chandar rude. Um, okay, do you want to? You want to roll for shane, because that's a hit with a counter attack. So this massive mouth comes after him, like, hits him partially, like snaps, slashes his arm and he takes 14 dread.
Speaker 1:Wow, wait, wait, wait. He has plus five temporary hit points from my armor.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he's also got a lot of hit points, okay, courage.
Speaker 1:Sorry, yes, courage, and he did not. I assume he has, I don't know. I rolled a three for his counterattack.
Speaker 2:Okay, that is a just a miss. Miss with a plus.
Speaker 1:Hmm, he could have set us up for better attacks in the next round, or he could have put the dragon off balance for follow-up attacks. I don't know how many more attacks does the dragon have? Two?
Speaker 2:The dragon loses an attack. Okay.
Speaker 1:We're good.
Speaker 2:It frustratedly slashes with its claw at you, Galen.
Speaker 1:You see Galen's arm reflexively go up because he keeps thinking there's a shield on it. Miss yeah on it.
Speaker 2:Uh, miss, yeah, miss, with a plus. Um, I'm saying that you go tumbling yeah, that's, that's cool. I dive out of the way uh, I wanted to use some location aspects which I forgot about.
Speaker 1:Okay, cool.
Speaker 2:So we're in a chavern, so we got acid pools. Perfect that makes a lot of sense actually and spider webs.
Speaker 1:You're walking through my spider webs. You're walking through my spider webs. How can we use?
Speaker 2:spider webs. I'm going to say that you get caught in a spider web when you roll. You're a little held up.
Speaker 1:Galen for a moment, panics looking around for the spider that created this web. You see no spider.
Speaker 2:It's still a sticky web. It's the next round.
Speaker 1:Galen yells out Ilgath, is that you Call back to season one baby Ilgath is that you Come back to season one baby. Ilgath the Inkblot Spider. That's amazing.
Speaker 2:Hilarious, all right. So what are you guys doing?
Speaker 1:Any, actions on combat. Is it possible to make Ilgath, and like 40 other Ilgaths, a reality? I'm looking. Do I have any abilities? No, that wouldn't be like a weakness or vulnerability. Right, ben, I have already. Oh yeah.
Speaker 2:I can try for clues and do it.
Speaker 1:I wonder if it's worth it. We'd have to like turn them to be on our side, though, or discover something, I don't know. Maybe it's too dangerous to create new enemies if they won't for sure help us. Should we run out of the cave? I don't know. I have no idea All right. I am going to. I'm going to freak out that we're here in the first place. Drag me all the way out here. Now we're in terrible peril, and I'll shout out to Dragon pick on someone your own size and stand in front of Galen.
Speaker 1:Wow, Dragon spends a round laughing. One round laughing. It's like Tasha's hideous laughter, but you know. It's like Tasha's hideous laughter, but you know, oh.
Speaker 2:What was that roll?
Speaker 1:I don't roll for it. Yeah, I'm going to feed of strength something, ben. Okay, galen's going to break free from the spider web and take his axe to the edge of a an acid pool and chop it into the earth at the um, just like the rim of it so, and lifting it up and flinging like kind of an earth, like a acid soaked bundle of earth, at the dragon, uh see if it might eat through his scales, if that makes sense. Okay, can I roll it? Or do you want to modify the thought process, unless the acid seems like it came from him and it wouldn't affect him at all? Yeah, that's what I was just thinking.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean he's got yeah all right, how about this?
Speaker 1:I'm gonna do the same thing, but add some uh stalactites above him to break them free to fall on him okay, how are you gonna hit those? With the same like feat of strength, I'm gonna kind of carve out some earth to fling at that okay yeah, so I'm kind of like launching a boulder off my axe or some giant chunk of earth into the ceiling.
Speaker 2:I'm gonna give you minus one because of the spider webs.
Speaker 1:Leave a message and I'll call you back. I use a quest point to make it a six.
Speaker 2:All right, you fling it at the lag tights and it just kind of it shakes everything in the place and they start falling on all of you um the dragon takes five dread but it's like so sad he has, he has block he's got Elliot on his back he takes two dread block here and it is at that moment that Galen begins to feel fear. Who's next?
Speaker 1:Shane is Shane.
Speaker 2:Shandar, this is rough, george.
Speaker 1:Roll initiative for Shane. I believe God, I'm going to go first, getting the bad rolls out of our system. Yes, this is rough.
Speaker 2:James. It's very rough Bread of garlic. You can control Shane. Does he have ability? He doesn't go first.
Speaker 1:No, dragon goes first. Dragon needs Shane whole. He's going to attack me. I just picked on someone, but it increases my defense.
Speaker 2:So he's only plus one, okay, but he's still plus three, hmm, hmm, because of the minus two or the plus two that he gave you, and he already has plus three.
Speaker 1:so he's, it's like super stack all right, well, it's been good.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I know, I know right, hit with a counterattack.
Speaker 1:All right, I counterattack this guy Can't wait, kiai 12. Nice, oh wait, no, that wasn't right. I was like James, you rolled a 12? Yeah, no, let's see. So I got the 5 temporary Mm-hmm. Nearly wiped me out right there. All right, I'm counterattacking. Come on Nine.
Speaker 2:It is minus one.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's going to end up in a counterattack loop. If you don't, unless you have a bonus to it at all. I don't, I don't.
Speaker 2:Alas.
Speaker 1:Should I use a quest point? You have a lot of them left. I got four. One early hit could be good. I'm going to do it just because I may not be able to hit him again before I die.
Speaker 2:Or about not getting hit again?
Speaker 1:I know, but I can't use a quest point to defend myself. You know what I mean. Alright, whatever Counterattack loop, let's do it. Let's see what I roll for my D6. It's a five dread.
Speaker 2:Five dread. Okay, he takes two.
Speaker 1:Thank God this dragon only has ten hit points beyond all that block. He's really old, the geriatric dragon, we're picking on an old man and then you get another attack against you, which is a critical hit. That's it for.
Speaker 2:Riley just like stomped into the ground. Bam bam bam, bam, six dread. Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1:I am standing, Still standing. Baby. I have one courage. Could you have stout-hearted any of those?
Speaker 2:Yes, I could have stout-hearted.
Speaker 1:Maybe the oh yes, I could have stout-hearted. Maybe the no it's fine.
Speaker 2:I might hold on to it.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:We did change stout-hearted. Yeah, we changed stout-hearted.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah.
Speaker 2:All right, so that was just one of his attacks. Yeah, yeah this is the end of riley well, the beginning of the end, yeah, ah yes, it's another critical hit. Wow, now I, now I use, now I use Stout Heart, that's 12.
Speaker 1:Riley is Wormfeast. I am Wormfeast. I have to use Stout Heart yeah. But I don't have the updated rules in front of me. Seeing Riley ground into the pavement before him, galen begins to weep. What is it? D8 like a d8.
Speaker 2:Like a d8, down, down, down down on a six plus metal check, you take half dread.
Speaker 1:Alright so. I take, I take six dread Alright, so I'm definitely at zero. I am crazy at zero.
Speaker 2:Should you have just saved that, then you should have just saved that then Hmm. You should have just saved Stout Heart then, if it was going to take you to zero anyway.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I big boy rules no, take back, it doesn't much matter well it does, because you're going to live again yeah, you'll be up soon, yeah so don't use stout heart and you'll go to zero and you're out save it for a subsequent attack. Yeah, you're out for one round. You roll vitality to see if you're wounded. Attack yeah, You're out for one round. You roll vitality to see if you're wounded. I've got something I can do next round. Not wounded. Nice, the dragon uses its other attacks. It's going to do its acid breath again against Shandar.
Speaker 1:I love the idea of a naked Shane Shandar beating this dragon to death with its fists as his armor gets se to death with its fists, Like as his like armor gets seared off with acid breath. It's like he man yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, shane wears kind of light armor but he is top breastplate and shoulder pauldrons get burnt, reduced to a steaming pile of goo. The last attack is against you, george, I accept your collect call. That is a 10 dread.
Speaker 1:Okay, do you stand? I do no, I'm still fine.
Speaker 2:The dragon says I smell fear in all of you. Leave now or die.
Speaker 1:By that logic, the dragon that's interesting right Like quickly in Galen's mind. He thinks the dragon asking us to politely leave, like this, means that he fears us. So we have to press our attack Because I mean like why would this guy even get? Yeah, why would this guy even give us a chance to leave? He would just eat us if he could, if he thought we didn't have a chance because he wouldn't want people getting out with you know location whatever to come back and like mess up his house.
Speaker 1:Riley is not conscious to hear this yeah, I I yell it, I yell at Shane, shane, he fears us.
Speaker 2:Now I smell overconfidence.
Speaker 1:Shane, he's got a really good sense of smell, shane.
Speaker 2:Shane, shane's turn.
Speaker 1:Does Shane have some kind of you know, crazy ability to Slay this guy?
Speaker 2:No, well, you know what? Yeah, let me see what kind of magic item he has, because he's a dungeoneer.
Speaker 1:Yeah, George fingers crossed. Yeah, that he. He rolls one of the just astoundingly powerful items roll a d200 george okay all right, george, there's stuff on there that could make it happen. That's what I'm saying. 83, 83, baby who knows what that is?
Speaker 2:83. 83. He's got immovable long johns. He cannot be moved by force. What he cannot be moved.
Speaker 1:It's like the blob he can't be moved. Boy, that guy can hold a door. Let me tell you, god, that's hilarious, you moveable. Long johns, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, all right, well. Ah yeah Well, all right, I don't know what to do with that attack with him. I attack with his immovable long jumps, jones, um, I do it. D12. What was his bonus to attack then three?
Speaker 2:uh, plus two, 3? Plus 2.
Speaker 1:I'm rolling terribly on attack rolls today. That's as we foresaw.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he just goes up and whiffs as the dragon somehow deftly moves out of the way. And, george, did you? You, you already went, did.
Speaker 1:I, because I rolled to go out. I was going to go after the dragon okay. I declare a mighty blow a mighty wind. I do Michael Keane guide by hand um it's nine. Hmm, it might not be a hit it's a hit with counter attack.
Speaker 2:He's quest point, can I?
Speaker 1:can I act when I have one quest point left? I can give you quest points once I'm conscious again. Okay, I am debating.
Speaker 2:Too late, yeah, no I will.
Speaker 1:Oh wait, this is a mighty blow. So it changes the rules On a 9 to 11, it's a hit and deal plus 2d6 dread. If it had been a 3 to 5, it's a hit and deal plus 2d6 dread. If it had been a 3 to 5, it would have been a hit and adversary counterattacks. Oh, so this is an 8. It's a hit and deal 1d6. I'm going to use a quest point to deal one more d6 of dread to him. But he does not counterattack me, so it's a d10 plus 2d6.
Speaker 2:Come on.
Speaker 1:That's 10 damage Minus 3, so 7 damage Indeed. We got him on the ropes now, shane. Today we Proved that dragons can bleed, yeah.
Speaker 2:Isn't this fun? Yeah, I'm having so much fun right now. I gotta tell you this is pretty thrilling. Just burned through my armor.
Speaker 1:I don't know why we're here I don't know what's going on. I wish I would.
Speaker 2:I wish I'd actually connect with him, though I mean this is.
Speaker 1:It's okay, shane, I know you're just baiting him into a false sense of security before you bring out the big guns.
Speaker 2:All right, next round, Riley you're still not up. Because you just fell this round.
Speaker 1:Ah, okay. I finally go before the dragon.
Speaker 2:I would say, Riley, you could wake up in the combat round to attack. That's what you wanted to do.
Speaker 1:I'm going to take an action. Probably I have a couple things I can do, but this one, I think, will take priority. Can I use?
Speaker 2:a dark side. What I mean is you fell during combat so you'd wake up in the combat phase.
Speaker 1:And take a combat action. Got it.
Speaker 2:If you wanted to. Yes so yeah, galen, is that you or Shane?
Speaker 1:That was me. Let me roll for Shane. That could have been my attack. That could have been my attack.
Speaker 2:Could have been my attack. So Riley roll Roll initiative Could have been my attack. Could have been my attack, bernard, so Riley roll initiative. Oh yeah, so Galen and Shandar go first. Okay, ben, did we just decide if sweeping strike could hit multiple parts of a large creature.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it cannot. Okay, so we decided against my greatest dream Dang it. No, it's. I mean I will ask that again next time we fight a giant. I will constantly hope, against hope, that it got changed. It's a little counterintuitive.
Speaker 2:I don't understand what you're saying I get it.
Speaker 1:I guess I just attack Ben. His scales are not metallic, are they? I mean like at baseline? No, okay, so carving through metal wouldn't work. It's eight. He counterattacks me Cool, and he takes four damage. After the minus three, Hmm, he, he criticals me 6, 8, dread hatred you said 4, you said four.
Speaker 2:Yes, all right.
Speaker 1:Now Shandar. Let me see he's a dungeoneer. Yeah, all right, let me scroll that real quick. Can we learn a class in three seconds?
Speaker 2:hold on, he's a level nine dungeoneer, but he has no underlings or anything yeah, that's fine, let me.
Speaker 1:And he's level 9. Oh so you used magic item. Wow, that's awesome. He has health insurance 8's useless seven, all right. Okay, all right. What's this tinker? Uh plus two, all right. He says aha, I have just the thing for this. Suck this down, dragon. And it's uh, he brought an acid neutralizing um bomb now, um, something along the lines of like a shrimp technology that uh oh, oh, okay, You're fine with something that simple.
Speaker 1:Um, I appreciate you allowing my brain to rest. Uh, I roll a D 12 plus two. Come on, baby, 10. You have it Cool, he, he has it Now.
Speaker 2:he's got to throw it in there.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that'll be, I guess, next round, or?
Speaker 2:or does that count as a free action?
Speaker 1:I mean, he could have done this sure beforehand. I appreciate that. He yeah, thank you. He rears back his acid scorched shoulders and hurls it. He spins a couple times. He does the hop thing like a shot putter. You wonder why he threw it that way. He throws it's an 11. Minus one, 10?
Speaker 2:Yeah, the acid-neutralizing shrimp bomb goes directly into the dragon's open mouth, down its throat, and it goes. It tries its acid breath and nothing comes out. It's just his bog breath that once again washes over you, pew. Um, it's just his bog breath that once again washes over you, be-woo. Um, then he bites Shane. Shandor. What have you done? That's right.
Speaker 1:I'm so fearful that everyone will be a crit. Yeah, they are. I feel like I get critted all the time you do.
Speaker 2:It's amazing 9 dread, so he's taken 23, I believe it's not a dread yeah. It's not dread yeah.
Speaker 1:He attacks Galen again.
Speaker 2:Okay, does a hit with a counterattack?
Speaker 1:Okay, it's the end of game.
Speaker 2:Five.
Speaker 1:Five. I stand tall With one out of 23.
Speaker 2:The wings of your dreams.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I shall not be defeated by you.
Speaker 2:I haul with one out of 23.
Speaker 1:Wings of your dreams. Yeah, I shall not be defeated by you. I, I wow. I don't counterattack because I don't want to counterattack you back. No, I counterattack, yes.
Speaker 2:Yes, that's why you counterattack.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that is why you counterattack you don't be a coward. Yeah, that is why you counterattack, you don't be a coward. Yeah, baby, 16 damage Minus 3. 13 damage. I say we're turning the tide, shane. Come on, riley. Two arms, two arms, riley's like.
Speaker 2:Do you not do a bonus with your axe?
Speaker 1:Oh my god, he's bleeding. I'm so dumb. He should have been bleeding for two rounds. So that's what I don't know. Does his armor block it? No, Sorry, I totally Thank you for being a fair and just GM.
Speaker 2:GMs take note from.
Speaker 1:Take note from Ben Two additional. Yeah, this round it'll be two. Two additional damage. Sorry, where did I? I have this written down. Weapons, there we go. A nine plus hit it does bleeding damage. One day, oh you know what it might be starting this round. I can't remember if I did a 9-plus last round.
Speaker 2:I think you did with the Mighty Blur. Okay, upped it. Okay. So then one last round. So it's a 3-edition.
Speaker 1:Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2:All right, you can notice we see that he's got a lot of cuts and you know wounds from Galen, not from Shane. Yeah, lot of cuts and you know wounds from galen like multiple, not from shane, bleeding.
Speaker 1:Yeah, um, come on, boys and girl. Uh, it's um, that was a counterattack. It did not get a counter. It has to finish its actions. And then Riley is up. Sorry, I forgot where we were. Oh, it's done. Then Riley is up. Riley, you see it bleeding? Yeah, come on, claudia. I say two games. Yes, I was literally going to say Claudia comes in and blows some fire.
Speaker 2:I think we can use Claudia once per battle. Is that what it is?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm going to attack it.
Speaker 2:I forgot what Claudia provides.
Speaker 1:I want to say it's like a once per combat ranged attack Cool. I feel like that's fair. I don't know if I wrote this down Cloudia Seven.
Speaker 2:It's minus three. It's minus one, that's one. Nine it's a hit.
Speaker 1:Once per combat I can double the dread. I want to make it 10 plus 2, 12. Nice 12.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:Oh man, ben, does this dragon look like? It's like we have a? I don't know? You said it looks like it's taking. I'm just trying to figure out how much longer we have to last. I need to take my action. So bad that can help us so much. Sorry, james, take your action. I'm sorry, I don't know when I take my next action.
Speaker 2:It would be now. How many hit points, how many courage do you have upon waking up?
Speaker 1:It's plus your level right, don't you get your level.
Speaker 2:It's a d6 plus your level.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I didn't roll it. And what level am I? That's a good question. Who am I? I'm level 8. I leveled, so it's 12.
Speaker 2:Okay, 12 out of 14. But George is low.
Speaker 1:I gotta heal George.
Speaker 2:So, riley, you can act before combat.
Speaker 1:Okay, I'm going to muster courage and heal the party for 1d12 plus my level. Amazing, that is so good. Fect me, shane Shandar and me. That's what? 9 or 10? That was a terrible roll. I understand what you're saying. It's such a good ability. Regardless, it's my strongest courage healing ability.
Speaker 2:All right.
Speaker 1:Now is it initiative now. Sorry, I was like reading my powers, I wasn't paying attention. I think, ben, can I use Claudia, or you want me to use her on my turn next round. It's fine either way.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you can use her on your turn.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think that'll be more cinematic Cinematic. The ECU, the Eames Cinematic Universe. It's already better than the DCU. Write your letters to Netflix, yeah.
Speaker 2:So, James, I think that does heal you as well.
Speaker 1:It does. Yeah, I'm full, it's just, I was already at 12. I'd forgotten that I needed to roll the D6.
Speaker 1:Alright, so it's combat time To roll initiative um, shane goes before the dragon, I go after the dragon, right? So, um, oh, uh, sorry, I need just galen goat, no, or riley, no, okay. Um, uh, kind of a fire lights in uh, shane's eyes. Everyone sees and for a second we have hope. But we realize it's just him using his demolitionist ability. He actually has lit some explosives. It says roll plus tinker with little time you can rig explosives to destroy or harm a structure or object without having explosives in your inventory. Gm should impose penalties on particularly hardy objects, and the consequences of the action varies wildly based on the environment. I say that he wants to try and collapse a little bit of the cavern on the dragon.
Speaker 2:I feel like that's going to take some time.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think this should take his round. It'll be his action. This round is set it up and maybe it goes off next round.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you can roll to see what.
Speaker 1:What happened, or you know what. I'm sorry, I just saw another ability. That's awesome. I'm going to use that. Instead, we're going to use Bullwhip Roll plus Nimbleness, to Use your Bullwhip to the extraordinary feat of wrapping, grabbing or swinging. And um, I'd like to what? What's his nimbleness? First of all, plus three plus two Okay. Yep, that's 12. So he uh, whips the dragon's horn and yanks himself into the air, leaping up onto its head. Okay, could he have? Could he also attack, or is that didn't be his action?
Speaker 1:maybe it distracts the dragon yeah, okay, maybe him being up there distracts the dragon enough to where it's focused on, not like it's not going to necessarily attack us, it's going to be trying to get Shane off his back, his head. Okay, so that's Shane's action. You see Shane leap glistening into the air, screaming I have you right where I want you, dragon, have at me fiend. And then this is so much fun.
Speaker 2:Alright, I'm going to have the dragon try to get Shane off. He'll roll a disadvantage.
Speaker 1:Nice, nice I feel like nothing works, but the seven actually might work. No, the three, it's a three. Nice yeah, it's a six, it's a three.
Speaker 2:It's a success with a twist, so what?
Speaker 1:is the twist three. It's a success with a twist. So what is the twist? The twist is it took a lot of thrashing around and the dragon hit its head a couple times. You know, like on objects. Trying to dislodge, shane Maybe took a little bit of dread. I'll take dread at this point, okay. Or I'll take like hey, he dislodged some stuff and it fell on him Dread. I'll take. Like hey, he dislodged some stuff and it fell on him. Dread. I'll take he concussed himself Dread.
Speaker 2:Stubs are still on something Dread, dread. I'm going to say that he used two actions to make this happen. Dread, dread, shred, everyone, take six. Dread, as there's just this chaos and rocks falling. I realize you guys never took dread for the time that I said you would.
Speaker 1:Yeah, the stalactites I pulled from the ceiling yeah, I let it go. That's one of those times. Are you really? No? No, I let it go. That's one of those times. I'm unconscious.
Speaker 2:Are you really?
Speaker 1:No, no, I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Oh, From the missing dread.
Speaker 2:I would be unconscious.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, dread debt, if you will. I'm good. I'm good, I'm eight out of 14. I'm fine, nice, any scenario. I would feel like I have a lot, but he's going to critically hit me when he attacks.
Speaker 2:Very much so yes, and Shane goes flying off. You lose sight of him behind the dragon as it smashes you guys.
Speaker 1:Maniacal laughter the entire time. Yahoo.
Speaker 2:That is against Galen. It's a miss.
Speaker 1:I grin at the dragon, no teetering towards an acid pool. Okay.
Speaker 2:Make a nimbleness check.
Speaker 1:I don't remember my bonus. It doesn't matter. Okay, it's going to matter. Let me find out. I'm going to. Oh, I'm a minus one nimbleness, that's a zero. Uh, I'm gonna. I'm gonna suffer the consequences of a failed check later. Wilson, back in the chat. Welcome, welcome, welcome. I'm about to die. Actually, riley is gonna die in my stead. Yeah, I, I, uh, I take the consequences of him falling in the pool. You couldn't have. You don't want to just re-roll mine.
Speaker 2:I, I I mean, I guess, yeah, I need.
Speaker 1:I feel like I need my quest points for other stuff. Whatever you want, if you want to take damage and just be out again or lose an item, I'll use lend a hand. I appreciate you.
Speaker 2:Are you?
Speaker 1:falling actually, yeah, falling Zone. Imbach writes. I could use the second part of lend a hand to do, roll with advantage when catching someone's fall, pulling them from danger.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, that's perfect, I'm going to say you're going to not be able to attack.
Speaker 1:That's fine Thanks dog.
Speaker 2:So what is that? Like a nimbleness athletics. Yeah, either one.
Speaker 1:I catch it, nice, nice. I give a knowing nod to Riley. And Zoni and Buck embellishes this moment as a romantic moment, which is not.
Speaker 2:Downside is. I'm going to say this attack is against both of you, this next attack. Because they're standing right next to each other.
Speaker 1:Can I shield Riley?
Speaker 2:Can I shield Riley?
Speaker 1:It's going to hit me, no matter what, oh my God?
Speaker 2:Well, it's a hit with counterattack.
Speaker 1:I failed to shrug it off, so I'm going to be unconscious. Can I counterattack before? I failed to shrug it off, so I'm going to be unconscious. Can I counterattack before I go? No, it's fine, but Claudia will seal the deal on this one. Are you definitely falling unconscious? I'm definitely falling. I have five out of 23, so I'll fall to zero?
Speaker 2:Well, it's not. Definitely See, that's four.
Speaker 1:Oh, I'm sorry. I thought that the seven was the damage.
Speaker 2:No that was the hit with the counterattack.
Speaker 1:Okay, then we're countering baby, I've got you right where I want you. Yeah, we both counter Wow, I do have him right where I want him. That's 12 damage. And then I yell Claudia, go. And in a weird twist, you see the chicken with lizard on its back and one additional object. It's, uh, it's, it's kind of golden, it's a golden arrow. It's true fire, the magic arrow, the lizard, the lizard deploys it. Um, we had this set up all along. Uh, true fire, the magic arrow, the lizard deploys it. We had this set up all along. Truefire, the magic arrow automatically hits and applies maximum dread, non-critical, and can be retrieved at the end of combat maybe. So I don't know how much damage.
Speaker 2:You want this golden arrow to do.
Speaker 1:Say d12. It does 12 damage.
Speaker 2:So, uh, that's 24 minus six because it was two attacks, so it's going to be oh sorry, sorry, um I I misheard that it wouldn't do 12, it would what?
Speaker 1:does claudia do? Yeah, what is? Yeah right? I don't know, is it six? I don't know, is it six? I don't know. I can't write it down. I'm officially writing it down now. She is a mobile weapons platform chicken that blows fire off her back as a rain attack from the lizard, and she also has razor sharp talons. Take your pick. They probably both do D6 damage if they hit. Do chickens razor sharp talons? So, take your pick. They probably both do D6 damage if they hit. Do chickens have sharp talons? Yeah, d8, ben D8 because she's a mutant. No, it's fine, d6.
Speaker 2:No, I would either say a D8 or D10. And either way, those are both going to kill the dragon, this true hero.
Speaker 1:I love Claudia.
Speaker 2:That's why I was saving it, babe, I was saving the true hero.
Speaker 1:For this moment, this is Claudia's enough talk moment. Enough talk, ha.
Speaker 2:Oh God, hey, Lena, welcome. Yeah, claudia leapt off my back. That means we need chicken wings, son.
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh.
Speaker 2:Well.
Speaker 1:Claudia's the hero. We can't eat, claudia.
Speaker 2:She's out of chicken.
Speaker 1:So I guess we can eat the dragon meat. I mean, I would assume that dragon meat tastes like chicken Following the whole lizard, it's a lizard, it's a little gamey, a little stringy.
Speaker 2:The arrow pierces the throat of the dragon and you see a burst of acid. That arrow is not going to be retrievable, then the massive thing just falls and shakes the whole cavern. You guys have slain the Scarlet Worm.
Speaker 1:That's unbelievable to me. Yeah, it was really. I love the Dungeoneer abilities. I want to play that class now. There's so many cool things. I pick up Riley, dust her off and say we got to find Shane and celebrate, Celebrate.
Speaker 2:Let's get us killed.
Speaker 1:I'm going to start like I'm still kind of shaky.
Speaker 2:I'm frazzled.
Speaker 1:Wandering into the dust cloud looking for Shane, the chickens pecking at things. Yeah, you just see flashes of fire as the chicken celebrates, with the lizard blowing fire up its back. Shane is impaled on stalagmites. That's what I kind of had a feeling that might have been thrown and impaled.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Shane definitely has to use health insurance.
Speaker 1:Do you want to roll it, James? What do I roll for health insurance? It's going to be roll plus vitality. Sorry, I just rolled it. Thanks, Ben.
Speaker 2:It's fine, he's not defeated, he has one courage.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm fine, he's not defeated, he has one courage.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm fine.
Speaker 1:We see him pulling himself off of Stalactite, or my giant gaping hole in his side.
Speaker 2:He comes from behind the dragon and he's standing on top of it. Now, we did it, we did it. That was so much fun.
Speaker 1:You know what? I can't believe I'm saying this, but yeah, we did. This is wild.
Speaker 2:Did you see that arrow I mean that was amazing Right out of your chicken.
Speaker 1:I say that's right, we've got to find the arrow again.
Speaker 2:She's got a heck of a throwing arm.
Speaker 1:Let me tell you.
Speaker 2:Look, I mean, if you want to dig your hands into all that acid, I mean I guess go for it, but I use weldar's gauntlet to do it.
Speaker 1:It's finally found its use that's too funny.
Speaker 2:Make a nimbleness check if you want to do that, all right this is where galen dies somehow.
Speaker 1:Oh no, it's mine okay, no, no, it's fine, it's, it's. Uh, it's a oh. No, it's minus. Okay, no, no, no, it's fine, it's a 10. It's a 10. It's not a 13. That was close, man. I had something that could help you Fast hands.
Speaker 2:You get in there, the gauntlet is destroyed, but it does not harm you, okay, and I got the arrow back.
Speaker 1:That's all I was hoping that was going to be the killing blow for the dragon I was saving it to the end. I'm so glad that it was because I was kind of freaking out.
Speaker 2:Aside from just hacking at it.
Speaker 1:I was out of anything I could do? I can heal still, though, I've got lots of healing abilities, love it, and I had a courage potion. Courageous and I had a courage. Question.
Speaker 2:Courageous Shandar says right, where's the horde?
Speaker 1:There's got to be treasure around here I'm going to use I for clues to make a discovery Roll search. Make a discovery Roll search.
Speaker 2:We spend time searching.
Speaker 1:Actually wait, hold on, I can make it a six.
Speaker 2:What were you trying to do?
Speaker 1:I was going to create a discovery. I was going to say the acid that spilled from the dragon actually eroded down and revealed a chamber and created a natural stairway. Nice, I got a six.
Speaker 2:Success.
Speaker 1:I rolled a search. Check that was an 11, maybe to find the mythic horde down the stairs or something, or we already covered on that front. Yeah, okay cool you.
Speaker 2:You find there's no stairs because like. I meant like a natural milky no it's stairs. It's perfectly laser-cut stairs after the dragon. He uses his acid to carefully. It's an escalator.
Speaker 1:We slowly just go down adjusting our clothing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you find the dragon's ancient horde.
Speaker 1:Time to roll relics. Hold on, you kill Shane, okay, actually you know what?
Speaker 2:Let's just say it's a mythic horde.
Speaker 1:I'm going to open up my coat and I'm going to point to Mad Marian's multiple map.
Speaker 2:Oh, yes, to Galen, be like, look man, I think we celebrate, yeah, so we're going to have to change the rules on that. I think I'm going to change it to like you, roll with advantage. I figured you'd do something, so we're going to have to change the rules on that. I think I'm going to change it to like you, roll with advantage.
Speaker 1:I figured you'd do like do a plus or advantage or something. So no longer plus 90% on a treasure hunting roll. It is now roll with advantage on a treasure hunting roll. I have two out of three uses for it and maybe yeah, plus three. I have two out of three uses for it and maybe yeah, plus three, plus three roll with advantage.
Speaker 2:It'll be capped at three, but as it is right now, you're already going to be making these checks at plus two uh, all right, george.
Speaker 1:Um, I think you should roll it. I believe in the power of lupin. Uh. And bernard, where did I close? I must have closed the tab. Give me a second for the new uh rules. There we go. Yeah, ben, we mentioned uh. I think I said that you were back on when we were.
Speaker 2:I caught the end of it, yeah okay, that's right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we're gonna. We're gonna test out some rules if it doesn't work it doesn't work. That's what play testing is for. Yeah, so okay, sorry, here we go. Myth Horde a forgotten royal vault, a hidden reliquary from ages past or powerful creatures' legendary treasures. Contains five treasure hunting checks for a maximum of two relics. Ancient vault, or ancient, oh sorry, ancient.
Speaker 2:I said we'll just make it a mythic, just for kicks.
Speaker 1:Oh sorry, mythic. That's what I meant to say when else are you going to kill a dragon? I mean whenever we hang out with Shane again, that's all we're going to do?
Speaker 2:Want to go kill another dragon? Yay, alright, here we go. Treasure hunters.
Speaker 1:Roll it up, baby. So five treasure hunting checks, maximum of two relics.
Speaker 2:This was a level eight dragon. You get plus two to the bonus. There are five checks among you. Um shane will get some and he will keep those items okay, so you and I should both roll one.
Speaker 1:One roll with advantage and a d12 yeah, so yeah, we'll both roll one of those. Got it Okay. Kick it off, Georgie. Alright, alright, alright, alright. D12, 2d12. 8, that's a 10. 11. 11? Sorry, why would it be an 11? Oh, is it plus 3 with?
Speaker 2:Magmarium yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, got it, okay. 11. Ah, shoot, I was so close. Magic item plus magnificent item, just so really good. Okay, do you want to roll to see if yours uh works, jimmy?
Speaker 2:yeah advantage.
Speaker 1:Yeah with advantage. Oh that, yep, look at you. You got a relief.
Speaker 2:This is the? What a relief we're actually going to gain experience for finding one.
Speaker 1:Oh my god, that's amazing. This is the first relic we've ever found.
Speaker 2:Shane Shandar gets a magic item. Yeah, he does.
Speaker 1:There are two more checks.
Speaker 2:I'm going to say that one goes to Shandar, that's fine, Just because you know he's a legendary hero.
Speaker 1:Shandar gets two magic items and magnificent he gets three total magic items and one X magnificent, he gets two. Oh, I thought he rolled another one before. Okay, so two magic items, one magnificent. And then we have one last treasure hunting check Roll d12 plus three, just plus two, two, seven.
Speaker 2:A magic item.
Speaker 1:Okay, so we have a total of two magic items, one magnificent and a relic. That's pretty good. Let me see those are mundane items.
Speaker 2:Those are magnificent items I'm going to start rolling.
Speaker 1:I want to see what Shane Chandar's magic items are. Let's take care of that. It's always delightful, do I have those tables?
Speaker 2:Roll 2d100. No, we only have the master. Thank you, bandit. It's only been edited one time by Bandit 37, and 43 for 80. 37 and 43.
Speaker 1:Draft of 3743 draft of the campfire amazing or something. What were you saying? No, it's 2d100, I don't know. I think it is a 37 and a 43, right? You don't want this.
Speaker 2:I want to 2d200, oh right.
Speaker 1:You don't want this hook Go ahead. I want two 2D 200s. Oh Sorry, I thought I heard 2D 100s, 94 and a 169. What's up there? Kobold Whistle and Valor's Frock of the centipede shane shanta shane's not only wearing a frock, he now has a hundred legs.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he lost his armor and he's got a frock he no longer fears tiny insects and he takes no dread from such creatures.
Speaker 1:Whoa like creepers. That's good, creepy zombies, immune to creepers, amazing Some creepers. Anyway, james, you should oh go ahead. Mundane, yeah, or Magnificent, rather, cobalt Whistle, yeah, cobalt whistle, yeah, cobalt whistle.
Speaker 2:This whistle startles cobalt and they will be all ears to the user's command. That's hilarious. Thank you, paul. Oh, slash roll space D200.
Speaker 1:Lena feels like talking about Pokemon guys. I am intrigued about the new Pokemon open world RPG. I believe it's called Arceus Arceus, pokemon Legends Arceus Is that what it is? Yeah, it's kind of cool. It looks like it's going to be more Breath of the Wild-y Pokemon deal. I think that, from what we saw in the alpha footage, it is unlikely that it's running on regular Switch hardware. I think it's going to be on the next generation Switch, which is probably announced soon, because it was chuggy and they say it's coming out next year. I am excited about that. That is my current thoughts on Pokemon. I love you, george. That's what I'm here for, riley.
Speaker 2:Hey Bug, how you doing. I love you, george Riley, you get hey Bug.
Speaker 1:How you doing. I love you.
Speaker 2:You get a quill, a quill.
Speaker 1:Peter Quill I rolled for. Is that a quill relic?
Speaker 2:Oh, that was a relic.
Speaker 1:Yeah, sorry, I rolled a D200, but I don't think there are that many relics.
Speaker 2:No, no, there's like way fewer.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, no, no.
Speaker 2:Roll a D50.
Speaker 1:12 relics or fewer.
Speaker 2:Actually just a D40. D40.
Speaker 1:D6080. My favorite, d Roll a 40. Ooh, d he rolled a 40.
Speaker 2:He finds something called the Nimbus Hammer.
Speaker 1:Nimbus Hammer. It is the softest hammer you can ever get hit with. It's super OP, really hammer.
Speaker 2:It is the softest hammer you can ever get hit with. It's super OP.
Speaker 1:Really We'll edit it, but I'm curious to know what it does.
Speaker 2:I mean, it's a relic so you guys can roll lore to figure out what your items do and whatnot. Get that Welkin guy.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I was gonna say hey, welkin, whatever your name is, professor, what's a who's it? I can't remember the name of it Phylo Sim. Phylo Sim. Good day, Phylo. How are you doing today? We are doing well.
Speaker 2:Is that a dragon?
Speaker 1:It was. It was.
Speaker 2:It was it still is.
Speaker 1:It's not a living one by any stretch of the imagination. It's wonderful, I say. Feel free to assess it at your leisure. I'm sure you wanted to study one of these up close for some time now oh, I know what this is.
Speaker 2:This is called the Nimbus Hammer. Did you know that? We did not it has been said that the Nimbus Hammer was created by giants of the sky who dwell above the world, that they were quick to anger hmm, the head of the Warhammer is an actual cloud, the sky.
Speaker 1:Who dwell above?
Speaker 2:the world, not their quick anger. The head of the Warhammer is an actual cloud. You see this. It's very light. It doesn't sound very powerful, but it is. You can attack twice in a round with this, oh, because it's so light. However, when you roll a one a natural one the cloud flies away to the sky and does not return until the next session.
Speaker 1:That's incredible.
Speaker 2:I love it.
Speaker 1:Incredible If you guys want to add powers to it. On a 12, I mean, I'm just saying there could be thunder and lightning very, very frightening. A bolt of lightning, yeah, um, that's awesome. I love it. What a cool relic. I wish we got two attack twice. I wish we got two Attack twice. Okay, amazing, we need to roll two magic items then D200,.
Speaker 2:Ben.
Speaker 1:Mm-hmm 2D200 and attacks of life 44 and 35. Kind of low rolls. What does it mean?
Speaker 2:Who knows, it's not there. 44. Druidic rope.
Speaker 1:That's a Druish rope. I got it. Hello, bear Bear, calm down, why are you scrambling? He's scrambling.
Speaker 2:So you find this piece of rope and a crowbar.
Speaker 1:I say, Philo, was this some kind of Are you sure these are magical.
Speaker 2:No, it beats me.
Speaker 1:Is it because I used him once in a session already? Mm-hmm, I say, hold on, I can do this myself. I can do this, I can do this. I say, oh yeah, this is an eight that I rolled on this druidic rope.
Speaker 2:Ah, yes, yes, Druidic rope, rope, so you know that. Um, it can move at your command. Oh cool, it's like basically a sentient, not sentient its own, but it obeys commands and ties itself. That's super useful.
Speaker 1:It's like crazy, useful. I already see a moment in the future where we use it to bind ourselves and to present ourselves as like prisoners to infiltrate something.
Speaker 2:I mean, it's just pretty standard and to present ourselves as like prisoners to infiltrate something and have it untie.
Speaker 1:I mean it's just pretty standard, no one would ever suspect having a magic rope that unties itself. I love it. And the other one, the crowbar. I'm very familiar with reading about this crowbar of lore. That's an 11. This is.
Speaker 2:Quanet's about this crowbar of lore that's an 11. This is Quanet's trusty crowbar and it can open any non-magically locked or sealed door and chest.
Speaker 1:Also really useful Because of items, man he said, non-magically locked or sealed door or chest.
Speaker 2:Et cetera. Cool, that was a favorite tool of the thief, quanet Fimp, who has famously pilfered the estate of the Mad Earl of Skrunk.
Speaker 1:Is Skrunk even on the map.
Speaker 2:It's likely an old munch place.
Speaker 1:An old village that no longer exists. Yeah, let's see, we got 1x Magnificat Magnificato. What do we roll for the Magnificat Magnificato? What do we roll for the Magnificat item? Ben James, would you like to roll it? Sure. D200, and then depending on what kind of tool it is. Yeah, 129. Looks like a chemistry set it's a warhammer another. Okay, oh, you guys have probably changed the table that I'm looking at.
Speaker 1:I don't know what you're looking at oh, do you not look at the mundane item and then make it a Magnificent? Okay, I take it all back. I couldn't remember how you got Magnificent you do, but oh it's been looking at a spreadsheet or the book. I was looking at the book. That's probably why.
Speaker 2:I'm looking at the book as well, so I don't know, weird. No, it's fine, it's very, very first beta pdf oh, I'm looking at the version 1-2 yeah, that's, that's old that's old dude.
Speaker 1:I gotta download the newest uh edition at drivethroughrpgcom. Download a new beta bundle which is free right now. Comes with uh, some adventures, the entire rulebook everything you need to play the game.
Speaker 2:You can also get it at landabeamcom.
Speaker 1:You can get the I think the beta's up there along with.
Speaker 2:It's true.
Speaker 1:You've got to roll a D12 to see what that blunt weapon does. Oh, I forgot Seven.
Speaker 2:It's a parry.
Speaker 1:Interesting.
Speaker 2:Once per combat. Negate a counterattack Meaning they can't counterattack.
Speaker 1:Awesome.
Speaker 2:That would have been useful against a dragon Right. So you got like two hammers. It's a lot of weapons.
Speaker 1:Shane, you want to trade this hammer, this parry warhammer, for something you got? Hello, princess Funnybone, welcome.
Speaker 2:Hey, I don't know if you heard, but you know slain dragon getting treasure getting treasure.
Speaker 1:I hope you successfully tackled your own personal dungeon.
Speaker 2:You want this kobold whistle.
Speaker 1:I was not paying attention when you said what it did, but I'm sorry yeah, you control kobolds or something I. I turned to riley. I shrugged and say hey, you want the kobold whistle instead of this perry warhammer yeah yeah, I think we got too many warhammers yeah I totally. I feel like this nimbus hammer is so cute, so cute and it's good for Riley to wield because it's so light. Yeah, alright, I say, hey, good trade, good trade, buddy. So you seem more like a Warhammer kind of guy anyways.
Speaker 2:Yeah, something was wrong with that whole sword business. It wasn't connecting.
Speaker 1:I need something just to smash, I think it was a little bit of weight. You know what I mean. The kobold slide whistle got it.
Speaker 2:Alright, guys, I think we're two hours and 15 minutes. That was a solid amount. I'm going to probably.
Speaker 1:The fact that we were fighting a dragon this time was totally outside of the ordinary. Indeed Good times, though, gentlemen, yeah.
Speaker 2:Thanks everyone for watching yes indeed. We'll be back next week.
Speaker 1:Back next week. If you want to try out Land of Eme. You've heard us say you can get it at landofemecom or you can search for it on DriveThruRPG and definitely join the Discord, because people are looking for groups to play with each other and if you have feedback about the game you can put it there, or you can just stop in and say hey.
Speaker 2:Hey, all right, goodbye everybody.
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