Land of Eem: Actual Play
Join Ben Costa, James Parks, and George Higgins as they play the Land of Eem tabletop roleplaying game, inspired by the series of fantasy books: Dungeoneer Adventures and Rickety Stitch and the Gelatinous Goo.
Ben Costa and James Parks are the creators of Dungeoneer Adventures, Rickety Stitch and the Gelatinous Goo, and the tabletop roleplaying game, Land of Eem. They have been friends since the 2nd grade, and love making stuff together.
Lovers of fantasy, they strive to craft tales that celebrate the adventures of unlikely heroes. Ben and James grew up playing tabletop roleplaying games, creating countless characters and collaborative worlds with our pals, a pastime that paved the way for their creative careers, as authors and illustrators.
Land of Eem is a tabletop roleplaying published in partnership with indie game publisher, Exalted Funeral. and is about adventurers exploring and discovering the remnants of a forgotten better age. Described as The Lord of the Rings meets The Muppets, players portray lore-seeking travelers, fortune-seeking pioneers, and adventure-seeking heroes in a time devoid of them. But for all its post-apocalyptic doom and gloom, Land of Eem is tonally quite lighthearted and droll.
Dungeoneer Adventures is a fun, middle-grade fantasy adventure series from Simon & Schuster, about the only human kid attending the adventure school, Dungeoneer Academy. The books are packed with illustrations and available at Target, Barnes & Noble, and Amazon, or you can ask for them wherever books are sold.
Rickety Stitch and the Gelatinous Goo is a fun YA graphic novel series from Random House, about a skeleton bard and his best friend on an epic quest to discover who he was when he was alive. The books are available through Exalted Funeral or online at Amazon, and you can ask for them wherever books are sold.
For more visit:
https://landofeem.com
Land of Eem: Actual Play
Land of Eem: Fantasy Actual Play S03E04 | Harpies and Hotdog Elixirs
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Ever wondered how adventurers handle warlock curses, steam-powered vehicles operated by shrym and goblins, or the chaos of earning nicknames like "Stinkblade"? Join Ben Costa and James Parks—creators of Rickety Stitch and the Gelatinous Goo and Dungeoneer Adventures—together with lead playtester and hero George Higgins, for a whimsical journey in the Land of Eem TTRPG, played in the Mucklands Campaign Sandbox Setting and published by Exalted Funeral.
In this action-packed episode, our quirky crew navigates a fantastical world filled with intrigue and humor. From crossing paths with Vera the Mathemagician to unraveling the mission of the mysterious Unassailable Co., the group faces hilarious encounters, tense moments with cackling harpies, and cultural references that keep the adventure silly. Debates about the allure of adventuring versus corporate ties add depth to the hilarity, while Shane Shandar’s surprising combat tactics steal the spotlight.
The stakes rise as the adventurers grapple with hot dog water elixirs, duels of honor, and a volatile knight who demands to be outwitted. With dreams of flying machines and eternal quests driving their growth, the team blends strategy, humor, and heart in their battle against chaos and discovery.
Perfect for fans of Fantasy Actual Play, Collaborative Storytelling RPGs, Rules-Light Indie RPGs, and the ever-creative TTRPG community, this episode promises humor, camaraderie, and unforgettable twists.
Download the Land of Eem Quickstart Guide for FREE, and join the adventure today!
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Hi, hi guys, hey there, hi there over there. Hello, welcome to the AIM stream. To the AIM stream. Happy Saturday. Oh my gosh, it's.
Speaker 2:Saturday hey, ganimates, hey guys, hey, the thumbnail for this live is so cute. Well, thank you. It was done by Sean Kiernan based on some of my art, and my art was much more horrifying than that.
Speaker 1:Sean definitely made it cute. Sean's got a got away with. Uh well, I've been fascinated by how many different ways there are to spell the name sean it's shocking totally derailed the conversation hello princess funny bone welcome.
Speaker 2:Totally derailed the conversation. Hello Princess Funny Bone Welcome. It's a conversation killer right there. It's true, it's true, that's why I'm no fun at parties, the Sean Sean. Or seen Well, you guys are at Beezleberf, and what happened last time? Let's go over it. Let's recap you were coming back from the Jagged Hills after your triumphant dragon slaying adventure. Oh, yeah, and it was slow going as you were dragging this dragon, this dragon head, and you got waylaid by some weird warlock guy.
Speaker 1:Really don't like that guy. Yeah, that was a perilous encounter.
Speaker 2:right yeah, Turned into a quest yeah. To uh abduct you and yep Fetus. Menagerie or something.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, yeah we. We thought he wanted to feed us, but I think he was going to just mind control us. You know both and Some evil, some, yes, and that's not going to happen, so he ended up escaping. I did get cursed with a stink.
Speaker 2:It's true, galen is cursed with a stink, and the cure didn't take yeah, it was such a profound stink now I have to.
Speaker 1:Maybe we can go to char the chicken foot witch in the crack, but that's. That's a whole different ball game I'll take my social checks at a disadvantage, that's fine.
Speaker 2:Long way off so what do you want to do? You're still with a Shane Shandar at Beasle birth. You've traded Um. The guy's name was Mr Trap.
Speaker 1:Mr Trap, two piece fitting.
Speaker 2:How fitting. And you came away from that encounter with his big wagon, but then you traded that to Malva the witch.
Speaker 1:To uh, to uh yeah cure your curses yeah, and next time she says when I try to get decursed, I have to pay for it. I won't be able to just barter for it. Nope, which is, I think that's why we were headed to bog town to make some dollars yeah, let's make some quiche Coin.
Speaker 1:Make some coins. Yeah Well, I guess we do have some ancient coins and gold coins, so we got that going for us. That's true, we do have some money, and Shane Chandar gave us some information about the Sarpathy which will take us back to the Scalawag Strand.
Speaker 2:Either way, Bogtown is our destination.
Speaker 1:I think I'm just going to change my name from Thunderblade to Stinkblade and go from there.
Speaker 2:Oh, no, it's.
Speaker 1:Stinkblade Cover your nose and suddenly become Scottish.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's the only way.
Speaker 1:It's the only way that man is filled with haggis. Got that jingle jangle.
Speaker 2:Oh, yeah, so go ahead.
Speaker 1:Oh no, I was going to joke that the rest of the campaign will just be managing your multiple personalities. Yeah, that's, that'll be fun Kind of fun vocal practice. Yeah, actually, actually yeah, because he's, he's adopted the the one-off, like fake persona that we tried to use and we're I don't know where we were beasel birth, I think we were a beasel birth when that came up it may have been or we yeah I don't recall when thunder, thunder, oh, thurf.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, you're right. Oh, it was a Thurf. Okay, yeah, we were in Thurf when.
Speaker 1:Thunderblade was just random, to try to hide our identity.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, we were trying to sneak in to get stuff. I remember now, yeah, I love it, I love it, it's all good. Classic. You know, what I mean. Did Shane decursed from his bad luck, or is that not part of the deal? And he's just hosed but he thinks he has excellent luck still, he doesn't believe in it yeah, it's like a barbarian who doesn't believe you can't like can't like see it can't see it, yeah, can't touch it, can't hold it.
Speaker 1:Luck doesn't exist. It's not a not a thing, but but fun exists to shame Shander.
Speaker 2:We've proven that we can create fun. Yeah, anyway, you want to get started yeah, let's get right into it.
Speaker 1:Let's make a travel check and begin our adventures on the road. Alright, let me roly poly and kick it off. We got a realms check. Bernard is conspicuously absent from my rolls right now. That's a four.
Speaker 2:Okay, okay, I like it. Yeah, he does.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he likes it.
Speaker 2:He loves it. Roll a d100. I do it A d100. No.
Speaker 1:He loves it. Roll a d100. I do it A d100. I'm cursed with a 90.
Speaker 2:Oh boy 90.
Speaker 1:Let's find Mr Traps setting up explosives on the road.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm. I've been waiting for you, boys, as you um.
Speaker 1:I've been waiting for you, boys, come on as you uh.
Speaker 2:Scottish Warlocks you exit Beezleberf and um Scottish Warlocks. You exit Beezleberth and along the road you see this steam-powered vehicle. It looks like a plow, maybe.
Speaker 1:I look at Pirelli. This is up, pirelli.
Speaker 2:Like all of this steam is like blasting out of it and there's a whole crew of shrimp and goblin workers that are just like blasting out of it and there's a whole crew of a shrimp and goblin workers that are just like abandoning it and it's all shaking and jittering.
Speaker 1:Gosh, it's like going to blow Riley, she's going to blow. Maybe I can release the pressure valve. Um Tinker, tinker, taylor mechanics Actually I was going to use I for clues See if there's a valve that they're not seeing, that's underneath the chassis, and then slide underneath and release the pressure. Nice.
Speaker 2:Cool.
Speaker 1:I'm going to try to calm the folks and organize them to move away. Oh no, oh boy, that's a three and we're getting them out of the way early. Yeah, he may. He may watch the videos on demand. We don't know, let's see. Oh man, I don't have a re-roll that can help you on that one. It's all right.
Speaker 2:I'm not that kind of night.
Speaker 1:Well, what's the plus? What's the plus? There is no plus.
Speaker 2:Like what is your? Oh yeah, this is just like out and out failure. My total is three. Oh yeah, failure. My total is three. Oh yeah, well, I mean, the plus is that you can maybe try something else.
Speaker 1:You just did not see, like that didn't exist when you got up close uh, I'm gonna discerning, I um a vulnerability in like one of the seal that there is no plus, only zool is. That's great. Um, I mean, yeah, I'm gonna just turning I a weakness in one of the the gaskets on top so you can maybe able to pop it off and relieve the pressure. Okay, that's an 11.
Speaker 1:That's well done. I say no. No, riley, on top, on top. Can I scramble up on top of this? I imagine it's like shuddering machinery. Let's see if I can't take care of this.
Speaker 2:Yeah, make an athletics check.
Speaker 1:Okay, make a math athletics. Check Wow, I love it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's all shaking and convulsing, but you managed to keep your footing and just scale it easily.
Speaker 1:Okay, I'm going to attempt to fix this guy. It's like climbing a bottle of seltzer you know could go off at any minute.
Speaker 2:All the workers are shouting get off there, it's gonna blow. I can fix it.
Speaker 1:She can do it, she can do it uh tinker could this be like a repair check?
Speaker 2:Maybe Mechanics.
Speaker 1:That's fine, do mechanically 10 Okay. Nice you, 10. Okay.
Speaker 2:Nice, you twist it off or whatever you're doing, and release a huge gout of steam. It goes straight up into the air.
Speaker 1:That's how you do it. I say to the crowd and then turn around and rub my head like, wow, that was close.
Speaker 2:Um, they all hoot and cheer and and uh, the leader, I guess uh comes up to you and says that was that was incredible. Where'd you learn? She's a mechanical genius.
Speaker 1:Well, I've always been good at tinkering with stuff, but uh, you know I learned a lot from crazy, too crazy ernie, the crazy ernie the one and only, oh well, um, the steam-powered plow here.
Speaker 2:I mean, it's a prototype. It's not very reliable, as you can see.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean it looks like you've got this impressive engineering, but it looks like there's some improvements that could be made to it for sure.
Speaker 2:How'd you like to work for Unassailable Co Hmm?
Speaker 1:I'll have to discuss this with my associate. It's like take Galen aside yeah. What do we know about Unassailable Co? Let me consult the tome. I know Vera the Mathemagician was from them. She's no fan of us. Well, you know, yeah, and I know, remember there is that there is some facility we found In 2915. That's really all I know about him.
Speaker 2:I just want to make clear, because George always says well, you know you guys totally.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you sold to her competitor yeah like, offered you first I still think she's got a soft spot for us. That's in character.
Speaker 2:I'm fully aware that she probably hates our guts next time we see her well, well like hey, vera here, what do you?
Speaker 1:call yourself these days Thunderblade. No, it's Stickbomb. I've embraced my stinkiness. I'll say like well what are you paying? We're in the market for some jobs. We're headed the market for some jobs.
Speaker 2:We're headed down to Scalawag Strand after we go to.
Speaker 1:Bogtown. Why'd you say it like a Sarpathy? I'm just trying to remember what it's called.
Speaker 2:Scalawag Strand. Well, that's, we got all the work up here in Fleabag County.
Speaker 1:Turns into Shrek for no reason. It's perfect. He's killing me today. Don't care. It only took 600 episodes and he suddenly turns into Shrek. Yeah, yep.
Speaker 2:I mean, he's got the Shrek body, I do. I got dummy thick thighs.
Speaker 1:You have a green head. He's got the Shrek body, I do. I got dummy thick thighs. You have a green head. It's perfect, it is true. Where will? Who is my Fiona and when will I meet her?
Speaker 2:That's all I want to know. Look, we, uh, we've got to get you set up with, uh, the offices and whatnot. You can't just uh and whatnot.
Speaker 1:You can't just. I'm talking about a full-time position. Well, you know it's a tempting offer, but we're sort of on a quest, we're on a mission from God. We're getting the band back together.
Speaker 2:Okay, okay, okay Okay. Well, I mean, I can't thank you enough for fixing this plow here for us, but it's gotten awkward now.
Speaker 1:I tell you, what should we be looking for? Work sometime. Where should we head to go chat with you again? Do you live around here?
Speaker 2:Well, we got a facility on the other side of the Black Rail.
Speaker 1:Black Rail Black Rail Black.
Speaker 2:Rail Got it. Is that the one?
Speaker 1:I point on my map. I say is it here?
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, we've, oh wait, yeah, yeah, we've, oh wait, yeah, I think we've done a drive-by on that thing.
Speaker 2:It's quite an impressive facility. Yeah, you know, we've got a lot of resources and we're making huge strides. I got to ask what's the mission statement of Unassailable Co.
Speaker 1:What are you guys about? I mean, we know what Subterranean Pits and Layers is about, and they're a hot mess right now.
Speaker 2:But what's Unassailable Co's deal? Yeah, oh, we're all about faster, better, more secure. That's our deal.
Speaker 1:Undesirable, that's a really nebulous concept. What are you guys making?
Speaker 2:faster, better, more secure. Just apply it to everything.
Speaker 1:Oh, okay, steam engines faster, better, more secure, all right. Well, we've got to work on the security of this one. Yeah, okay, makes sense.
Speaker 2:Well, you know, there's always a trial and error.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you guys are pushing technology. I see shrimp and goblins working in harmony. That's something you don't see every day.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's appealing to me.
Speaker 1:As a crafty PC. I say Riley's the best trim engineer I've ever known. They're totally going to kid you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and you? I mean, I'm sure you could find some sort of something.
Speaker 1:They usually have, you know, tough guys guarding the premises, yeah, I could definitely stand at a gate for the rest of my life. That'll make some compelling actual play processing people going in and out of the building yeah next getting with familiar faces.
Speaker 2:Yeah, hey, johnny, how you doing. You know, over there, use the key card.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's like actually two shrimp in a coat like staying on each other's shoulders. It's not really the person I'm waving in. Oh, you forgot your ID card, did you?
Speaker 2:make a perception check you fail, you're fired.
Speaker 1:Yeah we say what's your name? What's your name buddy? If we ever head on over, maybe we can use you as a reference to uh apply for a job uh, my name is fandy so with a P-H or an F.
Speaker 2:Let's go with a P-H Nice.
Speaker 1:Fandy Fandy.
Speaker 2:All right, fandy Fandy chill, okay, chill, fandy chill.
Speaker 1:Fandy chill.
Speaker 2:Don don chittle.
Speaker 1:Don chittle. Hey, fandy, it was good meeting you, meeting you, you guys gonna be okay with this Hulking steaming mess.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, don't worry about it. Turns it on and starts, she's gonna blow.
Speaker 1:Switch on.
Speaker 2:It's all good.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's as good as new, I'm sure. Sounds all good, just watch out for the Johnson gaskets. The Don Johnson.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, the Johnson gaskets. Yeah, was that the problem?
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, could be that, or you're just running the thing too hot, I like it hot.
Speaker 2:Then he uh, hops up onto the plow and everyone else does too, and they start waving the said that the hulk end credit song plays as they drive off like sad piano.
Speaker 1:I say, riley, your mechanical genius is is seriously a sight to behold. Well, you know, I feel like I'm learning like crazy, coming into my own. It's definitely how I want to spend my retirement Once we take care of this. So you think you think you could be the next? Uh, crazy Ernie, we do. Crazy Riley.
Speaker 2:Well, I'm not really compelled by trap making per se, but um you know maybe make a business out of this would be a great way to take it easy. Uh, should have. Uh should have gotten some money out of them for that.
Speaker 1:We turn around and realize Shane's been standing there the whole time. I say yeah, but but you know, that's what makes our story so good. And what's that magazine again, dungeoneers Magazine, academy Don't don't even it's in your head.
Speaker 2:I say no, I'm going to say it on the whole screen.
Speaker 1:I love it. I say that's, that's the thing we go around. You know, we don't always think about the money. We, we help people and I think that's what makes our story so compelling. Right, zona, zona is furiously writing. And then they should have asked for money, but they did not.
Speaker 2:And then they kissed yeah.
Speaker 1:Multiple times because Riley's life was in peril. That didn't happen, zona, don't write that. Give me that he has it on like that acetate paper where, like you take one sheet away from him but it's already like imprinted below it and he just keeps writing and he gives a yeah what are you gonna? Do uh that's all right, and he gives a what?
Speaker 2:are you going to do? What are you going to? Do All right, sona, you guys are only moving one hex a day, right? Yeah, let's give another roll.
Speaker 1:I can roll. Go for it.
Speaker 2:That's a six and you were minus one. It's a five y'all Five Minus one plus one. Sorry, You're on a road. It's a six.
Speaker 1:My brain.
Speaker 2:I think that's an inter-party conflict.
Speaker 1:Oh boy.
Speaker 2:What Dang?
Speaker 1:it. I say Riley, riley, riley, you sure you're not like a trap maker? I mean you could be just like Crazy Ernie, like Crazy Riley. It's already branded and everything. I'm not Crazy Riley. It's a terrible name, I mean, but it's it's brand recognition. It would. It would have like a connotation. Why do I have to be crazy? You gotta have a shtick, you gotta be something. I don't know.
Speaker 2:I think that's a all right, whatever you say stinky, and then they kissed it goes from inner party to like us again zona.
Speaker 1:And then they kissed what did you kiss? I slammed his foot shut. It goes from inner party to like us against Zona. That's funny, it's like piling on Zona. Yeah, zona, just go plant your roots somewhere and suck up some minerals. Okay, stay out of this. Can't you see, you love each other. Yeah, but just like the sister thing, the sister thing, you know. Shane opens his mouth with his hand up to speak. Shut up, Shane.
Speaker 2:All right.
Speaker 1:I don't want to hear it.
Speaker 2:I think this group is going to break up before your big story hits.
Speaker 1:You're going to break up before your big story hits. Galen sulks off because Riley called him stinky. I start drawing in a little notebook different logos for Crazy Riley's and scratching them out angrily.
Speaker 2:Thanks for telling him to walk several paces that way, because his smell is awful, it's true.
Speaker 1:You're not smelling like a rose yourself, Shane. You could bathe once in a while I start him off. I wear deodorant. Is deodorant canon in Land of Beam and what is it made from? It's like congealed hot dog water.
Speaker 2:It's compacted.
Speaker 1:Everyone smells like hot, like yeah, but like that's the. The scent of the of the millennium is hot dog water, perfume and deodorant. Like everyone puts some, they put some dog water behind their pulse points, you know, on their wrists All the fanciest people, like the highest class, knack of donkey tube steak water. Rub a bunch of mint on their bodies would make a lot more sense, princess Funnybone. It's the mass-produced, lacking majesty age in the land. The fairytale world is still by SPL.
Speaker 1:Wow, they have like silhouette advertisements of like a lady in a tube steak and, like you're, just like tube steak it's the newest fragrance it eclipses the popularity of 80% ground chuck.
Speaker 2:Meat breath newest fragrance. Yeah, they do. Like clips, the popularity of 80 ground chuck, wow, meat breath meat breath tube gel brush your teeth in style.
Speaker 1:Do you guys? Do you guys buy the latest tube steak? Number five oh man, they really improve the the tube steak scent. I'm really liking head cheese. Number four wow, head cheese. I feel like in land of aim, head cheese would be something far more sinister like a monster princess funny bone says, I was gonna say, they just rub a bunch of mint on their bodies yeah, but that would be way off course yeah, that'd be more pleasant.
Speaker 2:That'd be way too pleasant.
Speaker 1:Hot dogs as a fragrance.
Speaker 2:I love it. Oh, All right. Eventually you have to settle down and camp for the night outside of Bogtown. You guys aren't far from what are known as the forlorn fields oh, that's right I feel like we had a thing right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's where mr trap went, according to uh young out with pumpkin gang. The witch marva marla marla marva marva marva milbaast, we have this written down.
Speaker 1:She also said don't try to slay witches and warlocks Back off. That's true. But yeah, mr Trap hangs around with a punkin gang North of Munch in the forlorn fields, like here and here. Um, I say we drop off this dragon head. We just like hunker down for the night. Uh, maybe actually set watch For once Interesting. I say we drop off this dragon head. We just like hunker down for the night, maybe actually set watch for once. Interesting. Yeah, okay, you can always deal with the pumpkin guy another time. Yeah, but we're right here though, he's a bad dude.
Speaker 2:He's a bad dude. He's a bad.
Speaker 1:And he's right outside our camp right now. Yeah, what are you going to do? The dice never lie. Dice never lie.
Speaker 2:It's because of Shane Shandor's's bad luck. It is. It is um. Yeah, do you uh say anything as you camp?
Speaker 1:I, uh, I asked riley. I say wait. So, riley, if you're not really into trap making, what do you want to do in your retirement? Like what kind of tinkering? Oh, I still want to. Still want to make your jet retirement. Like what?
Speaker 2:kind of tinkering. Oh, I still want to, still want to make your jet pack yeah, I'm gonna look over at, like the foldable hang glider thing and be like well you know, I'd like to take my, uh, take my, try my hand at building a flying machine.
Speaker 1:I don't know if it's possible, but if this thing exists, then maybe I can go for it. Maybe through steam power you can build a flying machine. It's possible. I would learn a lot at Unassailable Co, but we owe it to our village to save the rest of the Mucklins from the Sarpathy. I wonder what the Unassailable Co's stance is on Sarpathy. Don't know what is their race stance on them. Wow, Exactly.
Speaker 2:Look, I didn't want to say anything, but I don't get a good vibe from Unassailable Co.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, does Shane know him? Mm-hmm Zona, I'm not going to go five. Yeah, what kind of rumors have you heard about those guys?
Speaker 2:Just that they often deal with nefarious entities.
Speaker 1:Felmog for one oh yeah, we know those guys. Shane, how is it that you've been around for so long and you've never allied yourself with one of the companies? I mean, what's your yeah? Is it never attracted to you or attractive to you, or what? I'm? A lone wolf Is there. I mean, what's your yeah, is it never attracted to you, or?
Speaker 2:attractive to you, or what I'm a lone wolf. That's it. Is that good enough answer? Look they, they are. They're constantly clamoring after me and, uh, I just don't want all the paperwork.
Speaker 1:I mean, don't you think you?
Speaker 2:could have a bureaucracy.
Speaker 1:You could have a sweet gig just training their guys. You know like have a, have a training Academy your own.
Speaker 2:There's no adventure in that. Ah it's just sitting behind a desk, are you?
Speaker 1:saying you'd rather go out in a blaze of glory.
Speaker 2:Exactly, I want to make new discoveries. I don't want to be at the beck and call of some you know board of investors. I shudder when he says board of investors.
Speaker 1:Yeah, mufasa riley throws up. Sorry, I'll move away. I just I start backing away from the camp a little bit. I assume that she threw up because it was my smell magistrate uh creech.
Speaker 2:And the board of dungeoneers. I mean, they're the worst thing that ever happened to dungeoneering magistrate creech. He's the one that hangs out in bogtown right yep, yeah, it sounds like a a whole lot of malarkey. I don't want to get tied down with Right.
Speaker 1:Yep, yeah, it sounds like a whole lot of malarkey. I don't want to get tied down with yeah.
Speaker 2:It's understandable.
Speaker 1:What do you think you're going to do when the when your adventuring days are done, shane?
Speaker 2:Oh, probably be dead. You know, one of these days, one of these adventures is gonna kill me yeah, next time you won't land on top of the dragon the way she goes the way she goes, I say uh, shane, did you have a death wish when we went on this last thing?
Speaker 1:were you dragging us into a hey, maybe I won't survive scenario, dragon us, I didn't mean it that way nothing that dark.
Speaker 2:I just wanted fun. I wanted to feel the thrill again and I think I think you guys helped me awaken that within me that's good, that's good Shane it was kind of fun, you know, outside of the bone rattling terror.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, after a while it was kind of fun, you know, outside of the bone-rattling terror.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. After a while that turns into the only thing that can make you feel Really dark turn.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's going to be more and more dangerous every time. Yeah, it's wild, oh man.
Speaker 2:As you guys are talking, you hear a cackling, is it a? Familiar cackling. I forget if you've ever encountered this.
Speaker 1:Oh, okay, I mean, it's one of the small ones.
Speaker 2:It's bird-like, I know what it is.
Speaker 1:I know what it is. I know what it is too, but my character doesn't, so I'm going to find a way.
Speaker 2:You also hear a jingle, jangle and flapping.
Speaker 1:I'm getting a lot of mixed signals right now. Uh, I, I pull on my bulwark helmet and pull out my axe and uh stand butt to butt with riley. Um, can I? Uh, let's see, I don't have like anything to make a trap out of actually do we have a rope. Do you have any rope? Probably scrolling, scrolling, scrolling. What, uh, do we still have pulmos? Automatic yoga? No, I have a.
Speaker 1:I have string, I have string. Can I um use the string to create like a little like noose trap to grab something's leg with a tree? Are we new trees?
Speaker 2:yeah, there are some trees I want to like see.
Speaker 1:I see them on a map snare trap with the string awesome um put some food there. I uh, is this mossy terrain ben? I mean, is there some moss?
Speaker 2:not yet. You'd have to move towards Bogtown.
Speaker 1:Oh, I was going to say could I use the mossy blanket to hide Riley?
Speaker 2:Well, you soon find out that you are being watched.
Speaker 1:Oh, okay. So it's like watching a successful show when you say we soon, yeah, we soon find out.
Speaker 2:Yeah, how do you see shadows above you, above us Meanwhile?
Speaker 1:I'm like scrambling into a tree Totally. Yeah, yeah, you're actually climbing towards them. We've only encountered things that come at us on the ground Like normal creatures, yet towards them. We've only encountered things that come at us on the ground like normal creatures, yet.
Speaker 2:Four little heroes sitting around the fire.
Speaker 1:Who is that? Who is it? Where are you Show yourself?
Speaker 2:Little did they know. They drew the harpy's eye.
Speaker 1:Oh, I thought it was a cackle tris. Gotta be honest.
Speaker 2:Any catch? Glints of jewelry all on these harpies around their talons. They have large talons. Here's a sneak peek at how our layout's coming along.
Speaker 1:Zoom in on that. Kushta Do the harpies have large talons?
Speaker 2:I don't understand what you're saying. That is a harpy.
Speaker 1:That's a harpy, but an art by the great Alex Ahad. Yeah, that's really awesome art, awesome art.
Speaker 2:Alex Ahad, the creator of Skullgirls and Indivisible, went to high school with the guy yeah.
Speaker 1:A lot of creativity coming out of Bellarmine. We did some of our first comics actually partnered with him. You were hunting. What creature again?
Speaker 2:Oh, Shady Hunter.
Speaker 1:Oh.
Speaker 2:Shadu Hunter. Shadu Hunter. That'll be worth $1 if you can find a copy.
Speaker 1:I'm going to find a copy one day. I'm going to make you guys sign it and then I'm going to sell it to someone as the you guys sign it, and then I'm gonna sell it someone. I uh, as the harpies cackle above our heads, I, I whistle like yondu from what's that movie, guardians of the galaxy. And uh, claudia shows up with a golden arrow. Because that's, I'm gonna treat it exactly like his arrow and claudia is just going to be the mechanism.
Speaker 2:She has the properties now You're in a conflict, but do you want to parlay?
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:We have a shot to parlay with them.
Speaker 1:Yeah, are you going to parlay a lie with them? Yeah, um, we're gonna, probably. I, I will be. I am at disadvantage for all my social checks. It's just you, you are nothing. Uh, I was gonna say maybe you can offer them a piece of the dragon's head, like a scale or something. Yeah, I was actually gonna invite the harpy to like come down and join us for dinner. Um, you're like, hey, you know, you startled us up there. Like try to act, not afraid at all, come down and join us by the fire yeah, why don't you come down?
Speaker 1:you can chat with us. You know, by the fire there's stay a while and listen, we know you know there's pumpkin gang and a warlock in the forlorn field. So you know we're we're huddling up down here and you know you're welcome to join us um make a charm check at minus two because I feel like that could really be misconstrued.
Speaker 2:Charm check at minus two because I feel like that could really be misconstrued.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we're inviting her to eat us. Basically, yeah, she's like oh, they're going to let me eat them by the fire. This is very kind. I've never had quarries so easy. Well, I rolled a zero, yep, so uh, this is not. I'm very glad I didn't use any bonus volume. This is not going well yeah it's a solid zero. Did you hear that?
Speaker 2:girls. Oh no, there's more than one.
Speaker 1:I didn't even realize there was multiple of them. Ladies, ladies, ladies.
Speaker 2:Easy dinner. And they all ascend down upon you, george, do you?
Speaker 1:want to make an action before yeah, can I do two things? You can tell me yes or no. I was going to say I want to jump on my tortoise.
Speaker 2:Is that going to be my action? I think so. Okay, I jump on my tortoise.
Speaker 1:Is that going to be my action? I think so. Okay, I jump on my tortoise. I gotta get that plus one block, because I don't have a shield anymore. Oh, I should have had Riley start tinkering. My shield Might be reparable.
Speaker 2:Irreparable. Okay, possibly.
Speaker 1:Wow, do harpies always sound like Gruntilda from Banjo-Kazooie?
Speaker 2:I think yes.
Speaker 1:I think that's yes. It is like exactly what they sound.
Speaker 2:Like all witches and harpies sound like that when they're coming out of Limehouse.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's hard not to go there because you just don't get it enough these days.
Speaker 2:Okay, there are four harpies.
Speaker 1:Four harpies birders and harpies.
Speaker 2:Wow, they descend upon you. One of them attacks Galen.
Speaker 1:Galen, it immediately begins retching. In fact, none of them want to eat me because of my smell.
Speaker 2:Got a hitch here, in roll 20.
Speaker 1:Wow Got a little hitch in your giddyup.
Speaker 2:Rolling the dice, rolling roll 20. Wow, a little hitch to giddy up Rolling the dice Rolling, rolling, rolling.
Speaker 1:Keep them. Doggies rolling Roar or hide. Yeah, I don't see your rolls.
Speaker 2:Are you guys able to roll?
Speaker 1:Yep, oh, thank God I got rid of that one. There you go, there you go. It came through as a three plus one equals four for you.
Speaker 2:Okay, and you have a plus one defense, so that is a miss.
Speaker 1:With a counter. Alexander.
Speaker 2:Campbell.
Speaker 1:Might have a hole 20. I'll swear Dad, it's back.
Speaker 2:All right, two attacks against you have missed, amazing. And then that is an 11 against Riley.
Speaker 1:I'm rolling, oh okay, are you rolling analog?
Speaker 2:No, I'm just rolling on Google oh.
Speaker 1:I miss rolling.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's actually a 12 for the critical hit against.
Speaker 1:Riley, it's custom.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I've got to be critically hit. I've got to be critically hit immediately.
Speaker 2:Please don't knock me down. Oh sorry, I don't know what I was waiting for. We were. Yeah, you're going to roll low so that I stand? Oh sorry, I don't know what I was waiting for.
Speaker 1:We were yeah, yeah, you're gonna roll low so that I stand yes remain courageous. Don't forget about your temporary HPs, oh um what? 3d6. These things could eviscerate us in the hit Like they can just disembowel us with their damage.
Speaker 2:Yeah, what you see is the Harpy. Just grab Riley, go up into the air and drop her to the ground.
Speaker 1:Oh, they're like Eagles cracking open turtle shells. Yes, terrible creatures.
Speaker 2:That is 20.
Speaker 1:I am down, riley, stout Heart. Oh yeah, I can Stout Heart and you have plus 5 hit points temporary. I know that's more than 20, but hopefully you'll be able to Stout Heart some of it Is. Stout Heart a D8? I'm sorry I don't have it written down. After the update Astute Heart.
Speaker 2:It should be on the sheet.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, because Stout Heart is a gnome ability and I took well-rounded actually.
Speaker 2:It's take half dread.
Speaker 1:Oh, why did I think it was a D8? I do it. I am standing Nice.
Speaker 2:No, no, no, no, no, no. George's is a.
Speaker 1:D8, I think oh, I see I have half dread because I haven't updated my sheet. I'm sorry.
Speaker 2:So how do you have 10 left?
Speaker 1:Temporary. You probably have 9 left.
Speaker 2:I had 19 total and took 20 to take half, so minus 10 would be 9.
Speaker 1:9 out of 14. Look at that GM. We can't get anything by him.
Speaker 2:He's on the lookout hey, you know math it was a good try, alright one attacks Shane Shander, he's got bad luck, let's be real All right and then one attacks Shane Shanda, he's got bad luck. Let's be real, miss Shanda, miss Shanda. So Harpies have Swoop Attack, they can't be countered.
Speaker 1:Miss Shanda Can't be countered.
Speaker 2:Deals six Dread. Where's Shandar? Can't be countered. Deal six dread to Shane Shandar.
Speaker 1:A lot of heavy duty rolls here.
Speaker 2:And it's now your turn.
Speaker 1:Roll an ish. Yep, nice, heck, yeah, ooh, I wish I hadn't wasted that 12. That's not really a waste, though, if I go first. Ben, actually, james, go for it. I'm gonna attack twice With a Nimbus Hammer. I'm gonna like bam bam Nice, twice as nice for half the price I hit once.
Speaker 2:Okay, six dread.
Speaker 1:Yes, nice, I whistle for Claudia.
Speaker 2:No, go ahead you hit one of these with the Nimbus Hammer and it shrieks and just falls crumpled to the ground like what they're glass cannons, boys, maybe it's the clouds of the Nimbus Hammer.
Speaker 1:We all spend the entire round just trying to figure it out. I like, I like hold it up and like, look at it, like, oh my goodness, yeah, power of gray skull. Um, I love it. Uh, I whistle for claudia to use the golden arrow and um, she fires at Harpy. She criticals okay, that's D8 times 2, so yes, 16 yeah, automatically hits. Oh, I guess I didn't have to roll automatically hits and applies maximum dread non-crit. I guess I didn't have to roll Automatically hits and applies maximum dread Non-critical.
Speaker 2:Oh, I don't know it can't critical.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's fine.
Speaker 2:So she takes 8 damage, there's a poof of feathers and that harpy also falls.
Speaker 1:What's it called? Claudia runs off in the distance to retrieve the arrow. Hey, swipsush, welcome, welcome, welcome, swipsushi. Back to 12s indeed.
Speaker 2:Let's see how long it lasts Eye attack, that's an 11.
Speaker 1:Wow, that's's okay, we're rolling well. Um, I'm just genuinely surprised. My axe uh whistles through the air and uh, all that you see is the jewelry from around the harpy's neck, just like breaking up and glistening in the moonlight as the Harpy shrieks. Not even a real damage. It's going to be 16.
Speaker 2:Whoa All right, this one is actually still alive.
Speaker 1:Still kicking. I maintain that the jewelry flew off her neck. This is why you gotta wait on that. Nope, nope, nope, nope, galen immediately starts celebrating Because we unexpectedly defeated two of them. Yeah, galen celebrates and doesn't realize she's behind her.
Speaker 2:We got goons over there, we got goongoth, and you want to roll for Shane Shandar.
Speaker 1:Go for it, riley, I will roll for Mr Shandar. Mr Matthews, that won't do it. Bad luck, shane's got bad luck. Look you, that's Matthews, that won't do it. Bad luck, shane's got bad luck. Look you, take the 12s. Yeah, I'll take the 12s all day. I'll handle the 4s.
Speaker 2:May the 4s be with you All. Right, george, that is a miss.
Speaker 1:I stand tall, standing tall. Oh, that was definitely on Shane, not Riley, right, it was on. You just assume. Yeah, come on, that's also 20, that's also 20. So I have 23 plus 5. So I have 8 out of 23 left. Oh, no, no, no, let me, let me stout heart it. Whatever it is, shrug it off. Let me shrug it off. I'm a real vitality. So you said I take d8 dread instead no, it's like a shield.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, so you said I take D8 dread instead. No, it's like a shield. Oh yeah, sorry, I mean it removes D8 dread. Let me just make sure I actually make a vitality check. I do. I am vital, so I reduce it by D8. Break it? It's unlikely but amazing. So I have. Yeah, so I take 12 damage, so 16. Nice, I say you'll never take me alive and the last one.
Speaker 2:Stinkblade hungers for you, shandar. Oops, I don't know why I did that, whoa.
Speaker 1:Look at that D20 system Shane Shandar bad luck. If we are responsible for the death of Shane Shandar, I will not be happy. No well, we're going to roll into town and be like we did it. Just the two of us, we killed the dragon, okay. Shandar um, yeah, yeah, he falls defeated, picked up and dropped I find it hard to believe that she was able to pick up that wad of muscle, but I I stare, as it happens, and I am in disbelief.
Speaker 2:Really large talons. Harpies have large talons Wow.
Speaker 1:Yeah, what? Let me see if there's a Dungeoneer ability, because I feel like there is. Yeah, he has health insurance. I think he has health insurance.
Speaker 2:He does, but let's jump to the next round.
Speaker 1:Yeah, keep on working while I look up health insurance Terribly. Congratulations, you can now afford health insurance Once per session. If you are defeated, roll plus vitality you want me to roll that real quick? Then yeah, he's got plus two he's got plus two, six, so four to six. You are defeated.
Speaker 2:But do not suffer a penalty for being wounded I feel like you're looking at a really old PDF.
Speaker 1:I must be. This is the rule book version one, dash two.
Speaker 2:Oh, you know what I did download it last time? I think it's always happens. It's always happening.
Speaker 1:George is working off of like the, the proto beta. Yeah, the most like you probably even have.
Speaker 2:the numbers are off Like four to six is not a thing, it's three to five.
Speaker 1:You're 4 to 6. The PC rejects the GM. Okay, here we go. I have version 1-4 now. I forgot I had downloaded that Health insurance. What you might find it before I've been.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I did. Okay, you might find it before I've been. Yeah, okay, wait, why is it not searchable? This is wrong, all of it. Wow, wow, it's still wrong in the edited ones is it all right, I feel.
Speaker 1:I feel this is why we playtest Guys welcome to the live playtest for Land of E. Well, that's kind of what this is. We're playtesting.
Speaker 2:It just has the old number spreads. You know like 1 to 3, 4 to 6, 7 to 9.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, you rolled a 6, six I think that would be. You have one courage, amazing. Shane shandar has his back broken on a rock, like batman gets his bat, or back broken by bane, but he rolls off of it and pushes himself up and stands tall, but he's like visibly pained, on the precipice of keeling over Harpy soaring through the air. I yell at him.
Speaker 2:I broke the shine door.
Speaker 1:I broke the shine door. I say Shane, he's like.
Speaker 2:I'm alright. I'm alright. I'm gonna need some ibuprofen in the morning. This is ibuprofen cannon, in line of him. George, it is now.
Speaker 1:Yes, now he used a creative ability to make it true yeah, I uh spent my entire I spent my entire turn so that all all healing is now based around non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs. Now based around non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs. All right, roll initiative. Uh, boyos. I just did and it was a horrible roll. Oh, I mean, if the gm didn't see it, it didn't happen, right. So really strong healing potion I have a courage, but crud I do have a courage potion.
Speaker 1:Yeah, um, I rolled a four. I'm going second as well. I think I'm kind of rattled when I saw Shane Like I spent most of my turn watching Shane fall because it was like an interminably long fall and that is a hit against you but with a counter right.
Speaker 2:They can't be countered because they just swoop out of the way.
Speaker 1:I hate them more, but my tortoise affords me one block, so I'm at a 15 out of 23. Yep, awesome.
Speaker 2:Another attack against you is a successful hit.
Speaker 1:Okay, my tortoise affords me one block. Still, I love it. I wish this is how it always worked.
Speaker 2:And then Shandar is hit, he's attacked.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, he's hit yeah.
Speaker 2:And now he? Now he's falling.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's more like a flurry of swoops. As the harpy keeps swooping at him and slowly wears him down, he takes a knee before gently crumpling and rolling forward Shander, it's like watching him in slow motion.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I'm like looking over while I'm holding up my axe and trying to fend off a harpy. It's good, I like it, I uh.
Speaker 2:Um, let's roll to see if Shane Shandar dies in this version of Land of Eam.
Speaker 1:In this timeline.
Speaker 2:Vitality check Ben.
Speaker 1:Yeah, shane Shandar might die.
Speaker 2:Epic Hero Five.
Speaker 1:Can we use quest points on Shane Shandar? I know that's a character ability for another class. I can give him a quest point. We might want to do that. We're just on the cusp, I think. Right, he needed to roll a six. Yeah, I can give him a quest point. I'm going to do it. Don't die on me, Shane.
Speaker 2:Come on.
Speaker 1:For like Uh-oh Seven, don't die on me, shane. Like come on. For like oh seven, I do.
Speaker 2:It okay for a couple like beats he doesn't say that you don't see him, though, riley. Oh, that's fine, it's worth it, it's worth it.
Speaker 1:Like we don't see shane breathing and then after riley like says that you just see this. I'm like Come on, Shane, stay with me.
Speaker 2:Right, Galen, you're facing down two Harpies.
Speaker 1:Galen charges them and flies into a blood rage and does a sweeping strike and sees if he can hit more than one, right? Oh no, I can't help you. I know it's fine. Um, yeah, no, uh, fb, my tortoise uh gets a leg stuck in the mud and as I'm swinging I go flying off her back. I think the plus would be let's see, wait, no, no, no, this is just a no, it's a three, so it is a failure with a plus, right, ben?
Speaker 2:Mm, hmm.
Speaker 1:What do you think the plus would be? Maybe I Kick up mud and make it harder for the harpies, or yeah, I'll say you know, you know yeah, it's never a good sign they were trying to um avoid your attacks.
Speaker 2:That kind of ran into each other and okay I'll take away one, one attack, because one of them is attacking you twice per round, right, so they'll only have one attack yeah, I uh get a mouthful of mud and spend the rest of my turn spitting it out yeah, mud feathers. And then like um, I think that would be the next round yeah, I think that's it.
Speaker 1:Uh, let's roll to see how many you want to roll a d4, james, and see how many rounds shandar is out for, or is d6 four, four, okay, four rounds. Unfortunately, it's all good. Unfortunately, I'm like standing over his unconscious body with the nimbus hammer Ha.
Speaker 2:Ha Roll initiative James.
Speaker 1:All right, here we go. Come on 12. I'll take it. Close enough yeah, I'll take this.
Speaker 2:There are two harpies. One of them is tougher but it's taken a lot of damage.
Speaker 1:The other is not taking anything. I'm going to mighty blow the harpy that I assume that's the one that attacks twice. Correct, Mighty wind Back to back ones.
Speaker 1:No, but it's a three, and on mighty blow it's a three, oh, I'm, and on mighty blow, I know you should be, because this is a hit, but the counter, but the adversary counterattacks, because I use the mighty blow ability, all right, so I still hit. Hopefully I take it out. Come on, I don't. That's a two. God bless it. I'm going to attack it, oh no, but it gets to counterattack me. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Another hit with counterattack. Well yeah, it's not swoop attacking.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so I can. Oh, yeah, you want to do your damage? Okay, I take three damage. Wow, I. Oh yeah, you want to do your damage? Okay, three damage, um, wow, I just I can't, I can't. That's, there's just nothing good. There's nothing good about that. It's getting to you. Yeah, I can smell myself. And then I started getting self-conscious that me guys smell terrible. It's all I can think about. I'm not myself. I took three summit, 10 out of and then I started getting self-conscious at me. God, I smell terrible. It's all I can think about. I can't even focus. I'm not myself. I took three summit, 10 out of 23. I whiff hard but since it's not a one or a two and I know it's not a mighty blow anymore, but maybe I push the Harpy as it avoids me into a better spot for Riley.
Speaker 2:Sure Riley, you get plus one.
Speaker 1:I'm going to attack Riley now. Should I attack it twice, george, or should I try to hit?
Speaker 2:one.
Speaker 1:I think you should do a Xena yell and then do whatever your heart desires. Alright, I'm going to go for this one. I'll attack twice. One of these is plus one, it's okay. I mean, even if you had attacked once, it wouldn't have. Let's call the total three and three, so it's not a total disaster.
Speaker 2:All right, all right.
Speaker 1:Maybe we reduce the number of attacks they get. I don't know so furiously swiping these things.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's hard to fight skybound enemies the other harpy will have um one attack at minus one against Galen.
Speaker 1:That is still a critical hit. Yes, still a critical hit. Oh no, all right, riley, it's all you. Oh, I can use a quest. Punta Fine Might not matter, it'll put me to zero, exactly. Wait, I could pep talk you one more. I could pep talk you and give you advantage on the roll before you roll. No, I don't think it. Well, let me ask you this, ben, it doesn't matter if I'm zero or if I'm negative 10.
Speaker 2:It's just like same functional right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so I'm I can give you advantage on the, on the vitality, on the vitality. Okay, I appreciate that. Um, everything goes to inky blackness and the last thing I hear is riley yelling at me. I give you advantage. That's what I yell. I give you advantage. Advantage, sir. I critically vitality. I'm up, I had to roll it.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah.
Speaker 1:I accepted your critical vitality. There was a chance I could fail, but it didn't fail. No it's not possible.
Speaker 2:Alright, this has gone off the rails.
Speaker 1:Huh, oh yeah oh, totally, this is a tough fight, yeah, so I feel like it was like so close, just being really easy, and yeah, it just went. It went south so fast.
Speaker 2:The other one has one attack against Riley. That's a hit with a counterattack.
Speaker 1:This one's on the ground. This one's on the ground right, or is it flying?
Speaker 2:Flying and Dust 2 dread to you.
Speaker 1:And now it is your turn.
Speaker 2:I can't counter it Initiative. I think it's just your turn.
Speaker 1:I attacked? Oh yeah, I guess it is, did you?
Speaker 2:No, no, because we win. But, now there's oh, yeah, you missed twice. Yeah, I missed twice.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's right. So, Anish, you missed twice. Yeah, I missed twice. Oh, that's right so.
Speaker 2:Nish Next round. How long are you out for? Two rounds.
Speaker 1:Two rounds Starting now correct, all right, back next round.
Speaker 2:Riley, there's a world in which you could just down them both.
Speaker 1:I'm going to attack once. I'm going to attack one of them each once. Oh, oh yeah. Ah, I love it. I love it Rolling two damages, oh yes.
Speaker 2:Nice, you do it Kind of like when you.
Speaker 1:In the battle. I'm just like screaming with this cloud hammer, Just like Zona is filled with terror looking at me because I've lost my mind. He reflexively like, bears his fangs at you.
Speaker 2:Awesome bears his fangs at you like awesome.
Speaker 1:Um the harpies uh gather themselves and uh fly away like squawking I'm gonna like throw rocks at them as they fly away like never come back. Wait, they're not. They're not just dead, ben defeated.
Speaker 2:I mean, that's right, nothing dies I mean no, I can die, but it can die. Never come back. Wait, they're not just dead, ben Defeated. I mean, that's right, nothing dies. No, it can die, it can die. I like the idea of shooing them all away More cinematic, instead of having four dead harpy bodies.
Speaker 1:We have different definitions of cinematic. Oh wow.
Speaker 2:George just fixes himself His breast heaving over the corpses. The river's running with blood.
Speaker 1:Are we not playing Conan? Is that not what's going on? Just mountains of funny parts, tell you what tell you? What tell you what? For my satisfaction, galen gets to his feet and like clutches in the air, like the broken jewelry of a harpy, as they fly away yeah, I was actually gonna say you guys find a, a silver bracelet none of of us help Shane up.
Speaker 1:We're just looking at loot. No, we gently roll Shane onto his back and lift him onto my tortoise. It's almost like the scene in Spider-Man where they're all carrying him on their back and, careful, he's zero. Let's put him on a tortoise's back, nurse him back to health. Yeah, a little sip of hot water from a bowl. Yeah, everything, everything is hot dog water.
Speaker 2:A little bit of protein yeah. I can feel my courage returning. I can feel my courage, my courage returning, my courage returning.
Speaker 1:So salty.
Speaker 2:I can feel my courage returning.
Speaker 1:It's like it's brightening my insides.
Speaker 2:I love it. Yeah, I guess Shane Shander will need to rest up uh you all will none of?
Speaker 1:yeah, we all will. I I'm so curious about what kind of story shane's gonna tell about how he got his back broken, like I want to see if he actually says it was like I got dropped by harpy, or if he tries to say you know, it was the dragon, dragon did it and the harpies just exacerbated truth is all in this book get it, that's that's true zona. That's true, Zona. That's true. You are the keeper of truth, except for the parts where we kiss you big factory liar. What are you?
Speaker 2:going to do At the campfire.
Speaker 1:I'm going to be going through the book.
Speaker 2:Zone.
Speaker 1:Redlining it. Yeah, just like furiously editing it. Yeah, make myself taller. Just like furiously editing it. Yeah, make myself taller. Where is going to be, like every hero in the MCU and DC, where they wear like boots that have wedges built into them? You're like wildly impractical. Just to make them taller, oh yeah, have you guys noticed that? In the stories I'm six, six, yeah, yeah, exactly, you have like platform shoes on the entire time.
Speaker 2:Probably want to eat. No Eat to gain courage that you've lost.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I will cook Eat. To gain courage, I'll cook with some salty meats.
Speaker 2:Salty, salty meats.
Speaker 1:I say I got some chicken for you right here and I hold up a harpy Ooh 10 courage. Nice I can feel it we all sip from the dog water. Oh yeah, so when I come back, ben remind me it's a D6 plus my level in health.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm, okay, and you rolled vitality.
Speaker 1:I did and I got a 12 when Riley gave me advantage. There's no lasting scars. I already have enough.
Speaker 2:So I am.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I got distinct breath Alright, so I'm going to get d6 plus 8 hit points back, all right, so 9 hit points plus that 10, I'm at 19 out of 23. Love it Like a new man, like a new Galen, like a new Galen, all right. Let me see. Oh, shane, does he get? What level is shane? Ah, it's fine, he's alive.
Speaker 2:Yeah it's incalculable. I think he was shane shane's using the gestalt system.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that was close with shane. That would have been really rough. It would have been a bad way for him to go out. I wonder if this is gonna cause shane to rethink how he wants to go out. He's like all right boys. I think I'm gonna go work for what's crazy is how we were just talking about that. Yeah, you can't make this stuff up, it writes itself shane has been pretty ineffective in combat.
Speaker 2:He's just like absorbed a lot of blows. He did, yeah, big blows, but yeah, I mean I think responsible for the death of Shane Shandar.
Speaker 1:I mean, that's rough. Yeah, I think that's his bad luck. I'm just going to say it like and and I think he may have had bad luck even before he got cursed. It's true, it's kind of my fault because I, like, did the worst part.
Speaker 2:Yeah oh man, uh, yeah, you gotta get the bog town y'all. I love it one more travel check. Once you, uh, the next day comes, make it into bog town dragging this giant head. That slowed you down and attracted horrible attention 10 for a travel check All right, I'll take it.
Speaker 1:I'll take it.
Speaker 2:You roll into town, you could search for resource if you wanted.
Speaker 1:Galen, I do, I'm just going to herbs. I'm going to find some oibs or some herbs. If you're in Britain, it's also another 10.
Speaker 2:You stroll into Bogtown and it's it's a bustling day and you definitely draw attention as you drag this dragon head through the streets. Um, you're stopped by some copper hats through the streets. You're stopped by some copper hats. Pretty soon, I see. You got a permit for this.
Speaker 1:Where are?
Speaker 2:you taking this.
Speaker 1:It's going on top of Dungeoneer Magazine.
Speaker 2:Are you sure about that? I'm going to do something slightly out of character.
Speaker 1:Well, slightly, I'm going to. This isn't exactly leaping into danger, but I feel like Riley's kind of feeling like she was tough like a minute ago. And she's going to lean forward. She's sitting on the dragon's head Holding the nimbus hammer and she's going to lean forward and be's sitting on the dragon's head Holding the nimbus hammer.
Speaker 2:She's going to lean forward and be like are you going to stop?
Speaker 1:us and use an intimidate check. That's great, that's so good. I'm not exactly intimidating, but I feel like she's feeling a little like she's had enough Healthy. Yeah, we're all feeling it.
Speaker 2:It's an 11.
Speaker 1:I love it.
Speaker 2:No, no, I was just. You know, I was just making sure that I think everything's squared away with you. Yeah, you guys are going to dunch your mouth. You know what? I'll accompany you and make sure you get there safe. So what's?
Speaker 1:your mouth. You know what. I'll accompany you and make sure you get there safe. What's your name there, Constable George, always telling me to come up with a name. Gotta keep the GM on his toes. You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:It's the bane of every GM.
Speaker 1:That's why I always consult the random NPC table. Exactly, you guys have a good table. I want to put it to use.
Speaker 2:Let's see, I'll roll up 3d100. Make it 4. This guy's name is Sven Crum-fwiddle, crum-fwiddle, crum-fuddle, crumfuddle.
Speaker 1:Crumfuddle.
Speaker 2:Sven Crumfuddle. Crumfuddle and uh Constable Crumfuddle. He's a wug, that's funny, and um say uh that makes it better that Riley was trying to intimidate him he's got a ruddy leathery face from.
Speaker 1:I'd say I can tell you have been on this beat for some time now, from Constable, from fiddle that's from fiddle from fiddle yeah, it's a.
Speaker 2:It's an old work name. Well, that's Hrumfwittle. Ah, hrumfwittle.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's an old wug name, has centuries, and centuries has gravitas to it. It must come from a long line of Hrumfwittles. Are they all lawmen like yourself?
Speaker 1:Oh no, I was the first wug in my family to get an education I bet your uh parents were proud yeah, still are hey, good for you, good for you, say uh, you can tell them about, uh, the great escort job you did today, uh, getting this dragonhead to dungeon your magazine, just like going through all of bogtown, like I'm like main street, just like about the great escort job you did today getting this dragon head to Dungeoner magazine, are we? Just going through all of Bogtown on Main Street.
Speaker 2:We're taking the long route. Periodically go back up, back up. Now Everyone side of the street.
Speaker 1:Nice, I like that and I.
Speaker 2:Kate Caterine does like a double take. Like what around Nice? I like that and I. Kate Cataract does like a double take, super impressed. Alright, here you go, dungeoneer Magazine building there. Where are you going to put this on that building? Gotta make sure it's structurally sound, of course. You know. I'm sure it's gonna be. He looks at Riley.
Speaker 1:She doesn't say anything. She's got like a piece of wheat, like hanging out. She's sitting, like Conan, high on top of the throne with, like her name, this hammer in hand. Yes, like crossing my enemies.
Speaker 2:Yeah exactly.
Speaker 1:I say, yeah, it's probably going to go right on top there.
Speaker 2:You going to de-skin it? No, you're leaving the skin on.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I say we're going to let them figure it out. We should probably de-skin it.
Speaker 2:We took scales already right.
Speaker 1:We have enough scales to make a suit of armor Correct, which I will do at some point? Who is Geddyville Munchausen?
Speaker 2:What.
Speaker 1:I don't know. I have it written down. I was trying to remember the name of the guy who runs this thing Gideon Flea. It's flea greenbacks, but that's your academy.
Speaker 2:Is it yes, yes, okay. It's very bizarre to hear you say that, yeah, I know I have.
Speaker 1:I have a little like outline and it says sarpathia spread across galabek's grand being held by others. They've gathered several eyes of ek and then below that, gettyville, munchausen, I don't I don't know uh taking good notes, man. That was something that shane chandar said yeah, so did he bring up gettyville munchausen, or did we meet him at like that?
Speaker 2:no, and express thing I think he brought him up for some reason express I can't remember the name. Yes, pandora's express. Yes, that's what it is oh, classic I love bogtown, it's true. Um, all right, shane says well, I'll see you around. Probably go rest up for a couple days after that one sounds like a good idea.
Speaker 1:It was a pleasure adventuring with you, shane he offers a hero tuck to both of you simultaneously it's like I say, uh yeah, you might want to get a chiropractor or something to look at that back ears.
Speaker 2:Um, it's fine, It'll buff out. Yeah, uh, zona, I can trust you to uh submit that story to fleeg, right and they kept kissing and kissing.
Speaker 1:What so much kissing?
Speaker 2:I'm gonna go, yeah, rent a room and just pass out for a few days sounds good.
Speaker 1:All right, buddy, I think we should take it easy too, Galen. Agreed, let's go get some pancakes, pancakes Give me a high five.
Speaker 2:Yeah, zona goes off to submit the story to Fleeg.
Speaker 1:Give me a high five.
Speaker 2:As you guys go to get some pancakes, riley, you bump into a man in armor, in red armor. Red armor, one of the emperor's guards uh, I instinctively I say hey what's where you're going before I like register who it is or what's going on yeah, um, he removes his helmet and like the stare that he gives you just kind of like shakes you to your core. Uh, I mean sorry, you bumped into me.
Speaker 1:I'm sorry, I you know I wasn't looking where I was going Big mistake Duel tomorrow here. Pinhole life. Galen rears up the axe as it's glowing red right behind him. I'll like Hold on. You think that's a little, I don't know.
Speaker 2:It's a matter of honor. I say I bet this guy spells honor with a U.
Speaker 1:I'm going to look around at the crowd to see what other people are thinking.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you notice that you're passing this giant stone building and there are other Felmog Knights milling about and they're all like it's a matter of honor. It's a matter of honor.
Speaker 1:Honor, honor, honor. I'm going to go straight into danger and put my finger on his thing. You got it, mister.
Speaker 2:Then it is settled. Okay, I'm going to back away sheepishly, trying to puff up my chest a little bit and be like this guy's like really like, uh, irrationally angry and he just like stomps off and like bumps into other people and says you want a duel too he has like eight duels lined up.
Speaker 1:Yeah, um, can I, uh, can I like go over to one of the other felmog knights around and be like so, uh, who's that guy?
Speaker 2:Yeah, you approach a woman in armor. She says that is Ser Helnar the red.
Speaker 1:Ser Helnar. He's kind of a loose cannon, apparently. I've got a duel with him tomorrow at noon.
Speaker 2:Unfortunate For him, yeah, for him, it's one-on-one.
Speaker 1:Your friend cannot join, yes, but according to film agla, you can't appoint a champion in your stead. Do you have a power that says that? That's like genius nope, but yeah. Yeah, I was going to see if I could make. I have no abilities. It'll make that true. That's the problem.
Speaker 2:I was going to make a little check, that's not true at all. All of it, in fact, that goes against the very fabric of what we believe Charm failed.
Speaker 1:Yeah, any pointers? In a Felmog duel, don't die. Are there any rules Actually? Maybe I could go find out exactly what the rules are. Maybe there's some.
Speaker 2:It's just. An honorable duel Fight to near death. It's a matter of honor. Fight to near death.
Speaker 1:It's a matter of honor. Near death.
Speaker 2:Near death, but one cannot always assure that you leave the other opponent to near death.
Speaker 1:We look at Sir Helnar's record of duels and they all end in death. He's undefeated. Yeah, he has a high mortality rate for his opponents. Any reason why this guy's so angry all the time. I think the you know, based on color theory and him seeing red all the time. Maybe he's just His armor makes him mad.
Speaker 2:I wouldn't bring this up to him, but yes, he's recently fallen from grace. He lost some sort of family heirloom recently. It's all very pathetic.
Speaker 1:In the next 12 hours we have to get the family heirloom back, and then we don't give it back to him, we wield it in battle against him.
Speaker 2:He'll be shaken to his core.
Speaker 1:It's like an arm war.
Speaker 2:Hey, I'm sitting on it. Call it the Dragon's Bolt.
Speaker 1:The Dragon's Bolt, hussein. Um yeah, call it the dragon's bolt, the dragon's bolt hussein the dragon's bolt. Well, what is the dragon? It was like a bolt of cloth or like a nut and bolt kind of situation.
Speaker 2:It was a spear like a lightning bolt if you want to know more, talk to Thurwig the hunchback. He's definitely taken the brunt of Sir Alnar's rage.
Speaker 1:Okay, where do we find Thurwig?
Speaker 2:Around the corner of the vault, the vault, he's the blacksmith.
Speaker 1:Well, I'm not in the mood for pancakes anymore. Yeah, how about a drink? How about a beer? Yeah, at this point, give me of that, uh, rascal, to nail, or cider, as it were. Um, okay, so should we talk to to thurwig, greta thurwig? Yeah, wow, wow, thank you. Thank you, took me a second to register it. Yeah, wow, wow.
Speaker 2:Thank you, thank you. Took me a second to register it.
Speaker 1:It was terrible. We like walk into the vault, like look up at the high ceilings, all the dark stone, like fell mugs hurrying about hearing the ringing of hammers is like third. The hunchback looks up at us.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, he is a. He's a pretty large wug.
Speaker 1:A lot of wugs today.
Speaker 2:I love it. And he's like hunched over. He's got a noticeable hump and he's just hammering away dutifully and you can see that like he has some weapons, like cooling on racks and they look magnificent, like some of the best you've ever seen. Oh Say hi, you must be.
Speaker 1:Thurwig the blacksmith. Oh, oh, yes you must be Thurwig the blacksmith he just assumed he can't hear me.
Speaker 2:He looks back at Riley. Sorry for the smell. Oh sorry.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he probably can't smell it above himself and the sulfur and brimstone he's hammering yeah.
Speaker 2:I'm sorry, madam.
Speaker 1:Oh, no worries, I was hoping maybe we could chat for a second. I had a couple of questions about Ser Helar and something called the Dragon's Bolt. Do you happen to know what that is?
Speaker 2:Oh yes, he's very angry, angry.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I've got a duel with him tomorrow afternoon and oh no, Angry.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I've got a duel with him tomorrow afternoon. Oh no, I'm sorry for your loss.
Speaker 1:I mean I can hold my own, okay, Actually, no, he's probably going to wipe the floor of me. I was wondering if there was, like you know what happened with this dragon's bolt.
Speaker 2:Oh, pumpkin gang.
Speaker 1:Oh, come on, man Did they steal it. I say yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yes, he was attacked In the fields.
Speaker 1:He was attacked in the fields. Mr Trap, I bet.
Speaker 2:He lost it.
Speaker 1:Wait. So he lost it. Why is he mad at you? Well, the knight said that he lost favor, or whatever.
Speaker 2:He's always mad at me.
Speaker 1:Now extra. He's mad at me too. Maybe we can get this bolt, he'll cool off and I won't have to fight him.
Speaker 2:He wanted me to make a new one.
Speaker 1:But I can't. I can't make anything magic, it's magic. Can you make a replica? If we give you a dragon horn or tooth or whatever you need, just want it to look exactly the same as it and he can use that in battle against Riley and become overconfident and lose.
Speaker 2:You want me to trick Sir Helena?
Speaker 1:No, I mean, I do say would it be possible for you to make like a facsimile if we have dragon parts for you?
Speaker 2:You have dragon parts.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we got a ton of them. We got loads of them. We do we're lousy with them.
Speaker 2:I suppose it could be done, but tricking's a hell. Nah, oh, I don't know.
Speaker 1:What do you think, Riley? Okay, if Riley's squirrely about it, I'm not going to push the issue.
Speaker 2:Remember last time we messed with Felmog guys, they cleaned our clocks.
Speaker 1:That's literally the only thing I ever want to do is mess with Felmog guys. They crushed us.
Speaker 2:So if you want this to happen, you'll have to make a check to persuade thurwick to do it I don't.
Speaker 1:I think that this is a great opportunity to go take care of the pumpkin gang. All right, what if we enlisted his help to go take care of the pumpkin gang? Yeah, okay, like the like what happened with the. Does he know anything about the pumpkin gang? Like, do they have any weaknesses? Oh well, how about this? Right? What if we call him out and say, as a matter, if it's a matter of honor, we'll help you restore your honor by teaming with you to gain your, you know, to regain your dragon bolt?
Speaker 1:to hell, yeah, I mean, we could try please, please, don't say we spoke, we'll be, even more angry do you think if we just had it he would not fight us? What do you if we gave, if we got the dragon? All right, this is how I perceive ben gming. This right we go we get it back shanagizing against the person. Yeah, yeah, no right, yeah, we, we get the Dragonbolt back. We show up with it and he says you've stolen my heirloom, I will kill you. Then I'll use it against him, I'll beat him up with a magical yeah so ultimately, we're going to use it against him.
Speaker 1:I think is going to be how it goes.
Speaker 2:It's a matter of honor If I get it back and he still wants to fight.
Speaker 1:I'll fight this guy. Yeah, maybe you can do it with power.
Speaker 2:I'll prepare myself.
Speaker 1:I'll rent a suit of armor or a shield. It'll be like a joust.
Speaker 2:I love that half the time I don't even have to say anything. I'll just let you guys come to conclusions. It's just a piece of fear, it's just fear we're living in fear of you.
Speaker 1:Ben, You're a monster and we love you for it. Alright, then Riley suddenly storms out, not saying anything.
Speaker 2:Galen has to warn up again.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna go over to Pandora's and get myself a rascal cider and be like alright we have 12 hours or whatever, However long we have. We have 24 hours to go to the Forlorn. Fields and get this Dragonbolt before I get beat up by Hellnark. Riley comes back outside from Pandora's Express and all she sees is me sitting on the back of FB, reaching my hand down to hoist her on the back of FB as in, we're going to go, let's do this. I grab his hand like bam, and then it pinholes.
Speaker 1:Yeah, grab his hand like like bam, and then it pinholes, yeah, awesome, all right, story story's so good it writes itself love it.
Speaker 2:All right everybody. Uh, thanks for hanging out with us today. Oh, let's do some xp. All right everybody. Thanks for hanging out with us today. Oh, let's do some XP.
Speaker 1:Let's do that XP. I'm leveling to nine this time around. Oh, I think. Oh snap, yeah, holy shnikes, it's going to bump me to 45, unless that number's changed too. I have the newest butch. Where is it? Where is it?
Speaker 2:That didn't change cool.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, 45 xp baby. So as long as I gained four this time um solve a problem creatively.
Speaker 2:Did you do that?
Speaker 1:oh uh, I didn't realize Princess Funnybone was streaming, yeah actually that's awesome. Maybe we could share the link.
Speaker 2:We'll share the link on Discord. Actually, yeah.
Speaker 1:Princess Funnybone.
Speaker 2:share the link on Discord I think it's 4 pm Pacific, 7 pm Eastern, if I recall. Yeah, that is correct. Yes, her group is going to start playing a Land of Eam game.
Speaker 1:That's great.
Speaker 2:I can't wait it's so exciting, she's got a skeleton knight errant, which is awesome, nice, I can't wait. It's going to be fun. I'm going to tune in.
Speaker 1:Classic, classic, classic indeed. And if anybody else watching this stream doesn't have a game or wants to start a game, you can check out landaveemcom and download the beta rules for free. You can also follow up on what's going on with the Landaveem Kickstarter by going to landaveemcom slash Kickstarter and join the Discord, because there are other people looking for games as well, and Ben and I and George are on there pretty frequently to answer questions or check out what's going on. It's a fun time.
Speaker 2:So, george, I'm only counting 3 XP, unless you guys feel like you did some role playing XP or did your ideas and flaws.
Speaker 1:I feel like we did do some role playing XP.
Speaker 1:I like my ideals, but not quite. I'm not going to count it. I was. I honestly, and this, it's fine If we don't, if I don't get to level nine at this time. I'm not like married to the idea of it. I was hoping we were going to have downtime by the fire, but we got attacked by harpies because I wanted to explore riley retiring as a tinkerer. Um, but we can do that next time because I don't think I used any ideals or flaws no, I mean, uh, what, what, uh, what did you want to say?
Speaker 2:because we'll probably flick, we will probably forget, that's true.
Speaker 1:So just well well, it was going to be more of it, like, because I we kind of broached the subject between our two travel checks the, the travel with the. Uh, the machine, the broken.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because we were talking about. What would the um, like building on the relationship be like? How would it change in some way?
Speaker 1:be reinforced or I think it's it's kind of um and it's twofold for galen. He realizes how important it like it's not that it wasn't important before, but I think it reinforces the idea that it's really important for riley to survive to old age and not die. Uh, you know, I think that he's gonna before.
Speaker 1:No, no, it's just like you know it's. It's just like he's like oh man, we really, I really gotta start keeping her out of danger, because she has this dream to um. You know, she has such a strong dream to make a flying machine contraption, um, and I think the fact that it keeps recurring makes it more than just like a flight of fancy for Riley and Galen, so to speak. Exactly, exactly, so to speak. Galen is, is has become more sensitive to this idea and he wants to promote it as much as he can. Or, you know, figure out how he can advance that somewhat, figure out how he can advance that somewhat.
Speaker 1:Cool, I think, simultaneously, like riley is like trying to put off the things that she wants to do in her life because this quest to help the mucklins and stop the sarpathy sort of takes precedent over everything else in their lives and yeah you know the, the dream of one day being free of adventure and being able to focus on her academic pursuits is, uh, one that's keeping her going, but also she feels guilty about such a stretch.
Speaker 2:Yeah, all right, uh, 4xp. Then nice, I'm level nine. All right, uh four.
Speaker 1:XP, then Nice, I'm level nine. Um, yeah, I, but I really do want to kind of start to kind of steer. This is, I think it's going to ultimately become in this quest, Like, do we keep pushing and risk our lives or do we Quietly retire and let the world burn Because, like, I mean, I don't know. It's like it's a. It is an interesting thing now that you know Riley really has uh, not that she didn't before, but like there's more of a driving goal now.
Speaker 2:Um, I think it'll come down to like really being more of a meta choice. Like down to like really being more of a meta choice, like do we want to keep playing this high level campaign where you guys are like level 10 going around the world exploring the sandbox, or like start, start a new?
Speaker 1:there's so much stuff to explore. Either way, a new start just do both stream twice yeah I it's fine, I'm, I'm ready, I'll stream mondays, let's do it. Um, but yeah, I think that I think this is like all good compelling content and I'm kind of I'm genuinely curious to see where it goes yeah, it'll be fun.
Speaker 2:Yeah, dudes, alright, well.
Speaker 1:Ben, maybe share the links to the discord and landveemcom and yeah, we will see everybody next week. Yeah, same bad time, same bad channel. Check out, princess, funny bone stream oh yeah, discord deethcord deethc discord. Do you all do the discord?
Speaker 2:yes, I do the discord.
Speaker 1:I do. I do the discord so good land of him.
Speaker 2:All right, see you later, catch you later, see you later farewell.
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