Land of Eem: Actual Play
Join Ben Costa, James Parks, and George Higgins as they play the Land of Eem tabletop roleplaying game, inspired by the series of fantasy books: Dungeoneer Adventures and Rickety Stitch and the Gelatinous Goo.
Ben Costa and James Parks are the creators of Dungeoneer Adventures, Rickety Stitch and the Gelatinous Goo, and the tabletop roleplaying game, Land of Eem. They have been friends since the 2nd grade, and love making stuff together.
Lovers of fantasy, they strive to craft tales that celebrate the adventures of unlikely heroes. Ben and James grew up playing tabletop roleplaying games, creating countless characters and collaborative worlds with our pals, a pastime that paved the way for their creative careers, as authors and illustrators.
Land of Eem is a tabletop roleplaying published in partnership with indie game publisher, Exalted Funeral. and is about adventurers exploring and discovering the remnants of a forgotten better age. Described as The Lord of the Rings meets The Muppets, players portray lore-seeking travelers, fortune-seeking pioneers, and adventure-seeking heroes in a time devoid of them. But for all its post-apocalyptic doom and gloom, Land of Eem is tonally quite lighthearted and droll.
Dungeoneer Adventures is a fun, middle-grade fantasy adventure series from Simon & Schuster, about the only human kid attending the adventure school, Dungeoneer Academy. The books are packed with illustrations and available at Target, Barnes & Noble, and Amazon, or you can ask for them wherever books are sold.
Rickety Stitch and the Gelatinous Goo is a fun YA graphic novel series from Random House, about a skeleton bard and his best friend on an epic quest to discover who he was when he was alive. The books are available through Exalted Funeral or online at Amazon, and you can ask for them wherever books are sold.
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Land of Eem: Actual Play
Land of Eem: Fantasy Actual Play S03E05 | Old King Knack
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What happens when a holiday quest brings a ghostly pancake-loving companion, a batch of pumpkin-headed foes, and the pursuit of the elusive Dragon’s Bolt spear? Join Ben Costa and James Parks—creators of Rickety Stitch and the Gelatinous Goo and Dungeoneer Adventures—alongside lead playtester and close friend George Higgins, as they navigate a chaotic and whimsical adventure in the Land of Eem TTRPG, played in the Mucklands Campaign Sandbox Setting and published by Exalted Funeral.
This episode takes you on a thrilling ride through rain-soaked landscapes and smoke-filled chaos as the group concocts their Pumpkin Gang Disruption Plan to outwit the cursed followers of Old King Knack. With Sir the Knight leading the charge and inventive tools like makeshift megaphones, the adventure blends humor, suspense, and whimsical strategy. Alongside trusty tortoise FB and mysterious items, the team’s camaraderie shines through in every perilous encounter.
From hang glider escapes and vampire accusations to collapsing chasms and encounters with the enigmatic Mr. Trap, the story weaves tension, humor, and thrills into a vivid tapestry of fantasy storytelling. Lena’s gaming twist, Sir’s bold leadership, and the group's teamwork make this escapade as unpredictable as it is entertaining.
Perfect for fans of Fantasy Actual Play, Collaborative Storytelling RPGs, Rules-Light Indie RPGs, and the lively TTRPG community, this episode delivers an unforgettable mix of lore, laughter, and high-stakes adventure.
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Hi, Hello, how you doing Kushta Georgie.
Speaker 2:Happy 4th of July weekend.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, I forgot about that.
Speaker 2:It's a holiday weekend. We have no concept of time anymore.
Speaker 3:No, I never have, never will.
Speaker 1:How's it going?
Speaker 2:It's going, it's flowing, man, it's flowing, it's going pretty good. Hello Princess Funnybone.
Speaker 3:Princess Funnybone, Hello welcome.
Speaker 2:Looking forward to it.
Speaker 1:Welcome your Majesty.
Speaker 3:Yeah let's just jump into it, because we're, uh, seem to be lacking the energy. Let's dive into this.
Speaker 2:What are you talking about? I wouldn't. I wouldn't have noticed if you hadn't called it out.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's a long week A lot of dead air.
Speaker 2:I mean, is it or is it undead air? Uh, you know, elena Wilson, boom baby, I'm back, oh, welcome welcome.
Speaker 3:We thought.
Speaker 1:Everybody would be doing things for the holiday weekend, preparing their barbecues, getting together with family. But it is wonderful to see that people Still make time for the adventures Of Riley and Gail and the landing, it's true. So let's do a little recap when are we at when?
Speaker 2:we have been of Rylan Galen, it's true. Let's do a little recap. Where are we at? Where are we at Ben?
Speaker 3:Well, you got the notes. You're the notes taker.
Speaker 2:I got the notes. So, we rode into Bogtown triumphantly with the Dragon's Head perched high above, not Dungeoneer Academy. What is it called, dungeoneer?
Speaker 1:Magazine, see. Now I'm ruined for the rest.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I'm. Yeah, I had to think about it. I had to think about it. Um and uh, you know, Riley, as she's walking around bumps into a man in red armor.
Speaker 1:He's a Felmog Knight named Sir, lost a family heirloom and is taking his anger out on everyone um we met.
Speaker 2:I now have a duel scheduled with this person. You have a duel of the fates scheduled with him. We're gonna play that music and get copyright struck and it's gonna be glorious he is darth maul wow wow well if we do get copyright struck, you know it's it's better to it's better to burn out than fade away wow so um yeah, go ahead please we're gonna try.
Speaker 2:We found out from this uh derwig the hunchback, uh blacksmith within the felmog enclave that he's mad because he lost the dragon's bolt, a spear which is a family heirloom, and we've traced it down to the pumpkin gang, right.
Speaker 3:He lost it in the Forlorn Fields.
Speaker 1:Where the pumpkin gang hangs out.
Speaker 3:North of Munch.
Speaker 2:North of Munch. North of Munch.
Speaker 1:So just pretty close to where we are is where it was lost and the pumpkin gang is interesting, because that's you know that, Mr Trap, the warlock the wagon that we bumped into at the random encounter. We know he hangs out with that gang. So yeah, a little bit of danger, a little stranger danger that we bumped into at the random encounter.
Speaker 3:We know he hangs out with that gang A little bit of danger, a little stranger danger With this scavenger hunt.
Speaker 2:Lena just finished her first Pokemon Nuzlocke run on Ultra Sun and I have to say congratulations, that's hardcore.
Speaker 1:Oh, congrats.
Speaker 2:It's like essentially it's like playing pokemon hardcore, where if your pokemon dies, it's your faints in battle it's dead wow there's like a couple other couple other rules yeah, there's this. Hardcore, everything hardcore, wow, hardcore. Diablo might have saluted pokemon, oh yeah all right, moving on. We are one of you.
Speaker 3:One of you make a lore check uh, I turn to philo sim.
Speaker 2:I say hey, philo, what's this guy? What's this guy talking about?
Speaker 1:immediately use philo sim uh, why not?
Speaker 2:why not? Oh, I'm not quite in Roll20. I'm sorry, let me launch it. It's open, it's just not locked in.
Speaker 1:You got to watch the ad.
Speaker 2:I got to watch the ad.
Speaker 3:Well, you don't need to roll in FiloSim.
Speaker 2:No, filosim shrugs and I make a floor check. He has no idea what I'm asking. I'm sorry, I should roll.
Speaker 3:I should save that for Philo Simms. He's occupied. Just go with your gut man.
Speaker 2:I should have gone with my gut.
Speaker 3:You know that the Punkin' Gang is a thing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the Punkin' Gang is a thing. Guys, Is Shane Shandar coming with us or is he off doing his own thing?
Speaker 1:I thought he went off, but maybe I I feel like he went off doing his own thing yeah, um, all right.
Speaker 2:So the punking gang, they're really friendly he's playing pie gal and having a horrible run of luck. Wow, wow it's not.
Speaker 3:It's not canon, that's not canon.
Speaker 1:Oh hilarious, hi hilarious.
Speaker 2:Okay, yeah, no, I think it might even be more interesting that I failed the lore check, unless Ben wanted to do like a lore dump.
Speaker 3:Yeah. You know, Nothing needs to happen here. You know what I'm saying. This is just a sandbox for you to play in. You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:The only thing we need is more Cowbell right now, yeah, we're going to get it.
Speaker 1:Well, at least Philo Sim was able to finish a short stack of pancakes without any kind of interruption. It's the first time in a long time.
Speaker 2:He just has to do it himself you know he's having blue glowy pancakes, because he himself is kind of like is he like a blue glowy?
Speaker 1:Yeah, is he like a blue glowy. Yeah, I imagine him as like a blue glowy. He's a he's a ghost. He's a welcome ghost for anyone that's just joining the stream. He said we found him. It's like he's like kind of like a magical item sort of. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he is, he's wonderful, I love him.
Speaker 3:He's like my own personal.
Speaker 2:Pokemon.
Speaker 3:So you guys, so you guys, uh, you're still in bog town. We we left. You're about to leave because you're on a time right got basically 24 hours.
Speaker 2:Oh yes, that's right. Thank you, I forgot that we had a time crunch on the duel yeah, riley's tomorrow at high noon or something sweats.
Speaker 1:She's like really concerned.
Speaker 3:She's like we gotta find this, yeah and uh, basically everything would have to go super right for you to like get back in 24 hours well, it's a good thing I rolled that one to get out of the way, right indeed, would the morgan freeman albatross be considered?
Speaker 1:that's right, we were saying weren't we saying something like that, morgan Freeman's voice, that was in their stream oh, that's hilarious. That was a great stream, by the way. Really really enjoyed it imprinted on my brain. Alright wait.
Speaker 2:George, did you say you rolled? The trouble no, no, I rolled the lore check. That was terrible, but I got rid of my bad roll at the beginning of the stream.
Speaker 1:Well, Riley is raring to go, so she's going to roll travel.
Speaker 2:She just roars out of town.
Speaker 1:And gets a rock-solid eight.
Speaker 3:Noice, noice Roll a d6.
Speaker 1:Boom. This is Feel it in my guts. Nothing is going to go exactly as we planned.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, this is where Claudia and the chicken lizard dies.
Speaker 3:You have an inter-party conflict already.
Speaker 2:Slow down, slow down. What are you? You can't just go rushing out, Riley. Slow down, slow down, slow down. What are you? You can't just go rushing out of town. We don't even know anything about these guys.
Speaker 1:Would you hurry up Gamer? I'm the one that's going to fight the guy.
Speaker 2:Well, I mean, are you really, though? I mean, I'm probably going to end up fighting this guy, right?
Speaker 1:I think let's be real here. I failed the check.
Speaker 2:Like there's no, like like champion or something.
Speaker 1:Oh great, Bringing up my failures again. I don't know, Riley.
Speaker 2:I don't know, I'm getting real, I'm getting real tired of this like endless conflict. I mean not even within the party. I'm just saying like every time we go to town, there's like someone else we bump into and is mad at us. It's like, uh, someone has it out for us. Well, I'm sorry, I'm clumsy.
Speaker 1:All right, maybe just watch where you're going. I'm not a big fancy knight errant with his pizza strength stop talking about my feet. You know I'm sensitive I didn't expect that at all that at all.
Speaker 2:That just ends the fight.
Speaker 1:Riley looks at his feet and says I'm sorry I brought up your feet.
Speaker 2:No stop, don't look, it's fine, it's fine. Okay, it's fine, it's fine.
Speaker 3:So I assume you guys go this way.
Speaker 2:Yes, add that to my character flaws list is sensitive to about his feet.
Speaker 3:Uh, you guys pass into, um, you know uh, a landscape full of farms and you see uh boggarts in the fields, um, for the first part of the day, and it seems fine. It doesn't seem scary like you would have expected.
Speaker 2:Yeah, just a bunch of pumpkins.
Speaker 3:I'll make another check.
Speaker 2:Like a travel check.
Speaker 1:Go for it, Trishy.
Speaker 2:I do it, I make a discovery. Wow, wow, wow. I discover the giant great pumpkin from Charlie Brown.
Speaker 3:Where are you going?
Speaker 2:It's actually a monster. Move yourself here, here.
Speaker 1:Sorry, it always makes me laugh here tells us what he's discovered.
Speaker 2:Discovered the giant pumpkin from charlie brown. So it's like the best part is that ben has just gotten like used to like filtering out all the stuff that comes out of my mouth, so it just washes over him. He didn't even hear it.
Speaker 3:That's true All of it. Yes, sorry, I had to do it once.
Speaker 1:I had to get it out there.
Speaker 2:I did it once. Get it out of my system. No, that's not actually what happened Rolling 100.
Speaker 1:For one second. I thought you rolled a 100. I was like whoa, you don't see that all the time.
Speaker 2:You see it, one in a hundred times maybe.
Speaker 3:What does it mean, Ben you? You're walking through these fields and actually as the day goes on you see fewer like actual people in the fields, get a little sickly and fallow and pretty soon there's really like nothing, there's no harvest, it's all like dead fields. But there are some scattered trees and whatnot and um living trees or dead trees or like is it?
Speaker 2:is it actually like? Does it look lich touched or something? It doesn't look lich touched okay, I wasn't sure, like it was just like bad farmers or like something more metaphysical play here.
Speaker 3:I mean, it looks like bad land, bad land yeah.
Speaker 1:There are a few living trees.
Speaker 3:There are also dead trees. It's like a mixture here.
Speaker 2:And you see one tree swaying in the wind but it looks like the only tree swaying in the wind because there isn't any wind. I'll say, hey, Riley, that tree's got some rhythm to it and start swaying and like time with it and like yeah, all right, I wonder what music is going on? Yeah, nothing happens.
Speaker 1:We like yeah, what is?
Speaker 3:yeah, agreed as you approach it it sort of bends and twists in your direction and you see kind of a face kind of morph onto its trunk. Its branches move like arms.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 3:Hello.
Speaker 2:Hello, hello, hello, hail Ant, maybe Tree ant.
Speaker 3:Make a lore check.
Speaker 2:I shake Philo's ring furiously, but that's an eight.
Speaker 1:He comes out and he's like he comes out in like a blue glowy bathtub. He's like scrubbing his leg, it's like sticking out out in like a blue glowy bathtub, like yeah, he's like it's like scrubbing his leg, it's like sticking out of the water.
Speaker 2:What is it now? Yeah, never mind, I got it. It's fine, go back to your bath um, you've heard of living trees.
Speaker 3:Um, they're called, as far as you know, to be maybe some of the oldest creatures on on eem. Like the oldest, yeah interesting.
Speaker 2:I say, uh, it's a, it's a beam camera. I say that my name is galen and this is riley. Uh, we're honored to meet you. Good beam kin. Uh, what, what? What is your name? Name what do? What do you call yourself, or what do you people call you? You, you must. Well, I mean, you might not have a name, I don't know, I do not. You must leave this place. We're actually looking for something, yeah.
Speaker 3:It is corrupted. You are in danger.
Speaker 1:What corrupted this place?
Speaker 3:Here have an apple.
Speaker 2:He shakes an apple off his head 'll like jump up and catch it. It doesn't look like a regular apple. It looks all shiny oh is it gonna be like an apple of memories and it you get like crazy flashbacks about like what has happened here where Riley bites in and it's just an apple.
Speaker 1:I'm going to say uh, it looks delicious, it's red.
Speaker 2:Delicious.
Speaker 3:Eat, eat Wow, I'm going to.
Speaker 1:I'm going to like cut it in half and like give one half to Galen and then eat my half.
Speaker 2:Um princess. Bunny funny bone says I wouldn't trust that apple as both of us put it in our mouths.
Speaker 3:Nothing terrible happens. You seem well fed, you feel well fed.
Speaker 1:It's like Big Trouble, little China.
Speaker 3:I'm feeling pretty positive.
Speaker 1:Yeah, all right.
Speaker 2:What's the hand gesture they do? It's not like oh man, okay, I'm going to look it up, carry on, that's my favorite depiction of drinking a magic potion, by the way.
Speaker 1:in that movie they just drink it and now it's super positive.
Speaker 2:They go like this to each other.
Speaker 1:Classic, super positive. They go like this to each other. Did he tell us what corrupted the fields? I'm sorry.
Speaker 2:I'm going to watch that movie today. Yeah, no.
Speaker 3:Darkness has corrupted.
Speaker 1:Darkness has corrupted it.
Speaker 3:I say, but is that point is in the distance I say is that why you're here?
Speaker 2:are you here to evaluate or fight the darkness, or what? Why?
Speaker 1:are you just?
Speaker 2:here, as a warning just as I have always been here ah, have you thought of moving, just as I have always been here? Ah, have you thought of moving?
Speaker 3:He starts laughing.
Speaker 1:Hmm, he's like I've been here 3,000 years.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's like I've seen things it gets dark, it gets light you know, you haven't happened to see a spear lying around in these fields, have you? Very on brand.
Speaker 1:Thank you, riley a spear a toothpick, a toothpick profane weapons yeah, you're right, it probably is profane, but but it's important that I find it because, well, if I can get it back to the guy who owns it, he's not going to punch my lights out.
Speaker 2:He's not going to clean her clock you know, I have seen no spear.
Speaker 1:Okay well we're headed into the darkness and we're going to do our best to see if we can help while we look for the spear. Can you tell?
Speaker 2:us anything about who or what is out there.
Speaker 3:The pumpkin heads.
Speaker 2:Oh geez, we don't know anything about them besides their name Old Knack, old Knack, old Knack. Who's Old Knack? What's Old Knack Do you mean, mr Trap?
Speaker 3:No Old Knack, the Dark Spirit oh boy, he leads them.
Speaker 2:Question mark.
Speaker 3:His name is spoken with fear by the Boggarts.
Speaker 2:I say, well, good Beamkin. Thank you for the nourishment and the advice.
Speaker 3:Maybe we can lift the darkness on this land. If you want advice, you will listen to leave now, I say and we can't do it.
Speaker 2:We can't just let evil roam free.
Speaker 1:We're kind of heroes in something you will need an army. I have a Riley, I've got a Galen and a chicken what else?
Speaker 2:we got Hold on, we got a guy in a bathtub, we got Zoni in box.
Speaker 1:Floating in a bathtub. We got Zoni in box.
Speaker 2:Yes, I am Floating, Floating bathtub. Wait, I say, Riley have you seen Gabe Gabe. I look around for Gabe, the monk fairy creature.
Speaker 1:Huh, no, I haven't seen Gabe.
Speaker 2:I look over at FB and she's just like got Gabe suctioned to her like tortoise shell like. I like the idea that Gabe's gone just like oh, his, just like left, I'm okay with this also like. Gabe contributed nothing and was a horrible creature. Like I, couldn't find my groove with Gabe.
Speaker 1:Gabe's gone, mitch is gone. Gabe is somewhere in Bogtown oh wait, yeah.
Speaker 2:So mitch, oh no, mitch, and jert the gelatinous goose.
Speaker 1:They both went yeah, they both went off.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they left and we got lucas. That, wow, they got lucas the donkey. Actually, they actually, they actually did. Yeah, yeah, um, and where's dan the golem? We, we left him at the crack.
Speaker 1:He's living at the crack for the rest of his life.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think that we have. We need an army.
Speaker 1:That we do not have.
Speaker 2:Should we potentially scout this place out? Maybe we should be a little more as, maybe see if we can. I mean, we'd potentially like scout this place out. Maybe we should be a little more, yeah.
Speaker 1:Maybe see if we can, I mean, or maybe go talk to the farmers.
Speaker 2:Well, I don't want to go backwards.
Speaker 1:really, we have no time.
Speaker 2:Same. Yeah, I was going to say I don't want to keep talking to the farmers and messing around If, if we are just kind of like um princess, funny one says too bad the gals.
Speaker 1:The gals aren't around to help.
Speaker 2:If you want to know, that'd be amazing we would conscript them, we would, we would cross over with that, um, but yeah, I guess we, I think we should. Sorry, I didn't mean to click on the map. Well, I think we should just carry, carry on. I don't know that we need to talk to the townspeople or the, because they've all kind of thinned out. We'd have to go back, right? Yeah, you'd have to.
Speaker 1:All right, let's, let's, let's sneak up on them.
Speaker 2:Yeah, agreed.
Speaker 3:So it's getting dark, um but uh yeah, I put yeah used up most of the day.
Speaker 1:I mean you could search these fields. I want to do two things I want to search the fields and I want to make some scarecrows. Yes, To maybe trick them about our numbers.
Speaker 2:I roll a 10 for a search While Riley finagles some scarecrows up.
Speaker 3:Okay, you, you find evidence of some sort of battle. You see hoof marks in the mud and a lot of footprints.
Speaker 2:You see like like smashed pumpkins, like small ones with like putrid ooze coming out of it.
Speaker 3:Oof. Um, you see what looks like a man's handprint in the mud and like a lot of smearing, like there's sliding around and stuff.
Speaker 2:It looks like the size of? Uh, do you think this is where hell? That's what I'm thinking, yeah, like, look like this. Does it look like the size of hell? Nar's hand.
Speaker 3:Uh, that would be plausible yeah.
Speaker 2:Okay, okay, um, can we? And? And while I examine the footprints in the scene of battle, does it seem like they all retreated in a different, in a certain direction?
Speaker 3:yeah, I mean, you see the, the horse hooves go off out of the mud into the grass, where it, you know, disappears, um, and then there's just a lot of footprints elsewhere. It's like hard to make sense of it yeah, um, I guess we shouldn't.
Speaker 2:We can just follow these footprints off into the distance and see if we can't, you know, like go kind of around or off the edge of the footprints keeping them in eyesight. So we don't necessarily go the same path, but I'd say, stick to the tree lines. But I bring things pretty desolate, it sounds like.
Speaker 3:It's not. Yeah, I mean there are trees, but it's not like used to be forest desolate, shallow fields got it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, maybe we can kind of flit from tree to tree and try to, you know, not be so obvious to see off the beaten path yeah, well, we have like a wagon and stuff, though it's like hard yeah, do you have a wagon?
Speaker 1:yeah, I've got a mobile forge yeah, with a donkey oh well, that's not as bad as a wagon.
Speaker 3:I don't think it's like a cart.
Speaker 2:It's like a cart Cool.
Speaker 3:So yeah, we'll continue. Yeah, so this means that you will be continuing into the night.
Speaker 2:I don't think we have much option in this one, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's kind of a got to get this thing get out of here, Mm so make a search check disadvantage, but you'll have plus one for sticking to the trees.
Speaker 2:All right, I'm going to do it. Oh sorry, I just rolled it, it's up. That's fine it ends up being a four Ugh, I could lend a hand. Thank you, all right. What will that do? That can roll a failure.
Speaker 1:It's going to pull me out of danger, it's better Eight.
Speaker 2:I'll use a quest point and make it a nine you probably can't, because your maximum bonus is plus three.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you're right, you can with a quest point oh, you can, you can bump it up.
Speaker 2:Oh, I feel like I didn't know that I did not know that either.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's just yeah GM's changing rules again no, it's in the rule book. I'm cheating, alright I bump into a 9 alright, you see an elm tree like a spooky looking elm tree and it definitely sticks out like a spooky looking elm tree and, uh, it definitely sticks out like a sore thumb here yeah, galen was like following a random set of footprints that went off track.
Speaker 2:And then riley said no, no, no, no, no, no and turns me around and like spins me and I'm facing this massive elm tree and I'm like I don't understand. It's terrifying.
Speaker 3:Um, get inspected for a door yeah, when you get closer um you see on the other side of the tree, because it's like quite large, um there's like this dilapidated barn.
Speaker 1:Hmm.
Speaker 2:Let's see.
Speaker 3:Are there any lights on inside? Can't tell from here.
Speaker 1:It looks pretty dark. Hmm, is there?
Speaker 3:a door on the barn.
Speaker 1:Yeah, do you want to try to lock it, if? They're inside and then light it on fire if this was a Conan RPG, I'd say let's do it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, raise it to the ground no, no, no, that's not what Galen would do. He'd kick in the door and he'd be like how about you Knaves, which I do? No, I don't Big boy rules. So I said it.
Speaker 1:I was thinking maybe we could jam the door so they can't get out.
Speaker 2:Strawberry, raspberry, raspberry and then search around here unless it's inside, unless they found it or something I see, okay, yeah, I mean, if you want to do such a thing, maybe we can find like a wooden piece of fence and put it through the door handles. Is there a way to do that? Like move an arm more rarely spends the rest of the night building armor and then carefully leans it against the door so when you get to the door, um, it's not like fully closed.
Speaker 3:You can see inside and it's dark and there seems to be nothing. There's no people inside. Oh interesting, um, but then, as you're standing there, you kind of hear a faint sound like a chanting, but you can't make out the words.
Speaker 1:Halima, halima, um, can I, um, can I? Can I like get inside the barn and start looking around see if?
Speaker 2:all right, I'm gonna, I'm gonna search the barn I turn around and then turn back and riley's gone.
Speaker 3:I'm like did she go inside, oh man so immediately you see like slivers of light outlining a cellar door within the barn.
Speaker 2:Oh, cool Okay. I'm going to like do hand signals that they're underneath us, you see Galen, with like a flint and tinder, like yeah, I know. Riley the spear will survive. They will not.
Speaker 3:Riley, when you're inside, you can hear this it's actually a song and you can hear like I like to sing it the moon and the June and the spring of voices going. Old king knack is a cranky old soul got a big yellow frown and he's skinny as a pole. Don't tramp his patch, don't sell his knoll, cause he'll roast your feet over red hot coal. It just like keeps repeating.
Speaker 1:Oh, Old King Knack, that's really not good.
Speaker 2:I think I can't remember.
Speaker 1:These guys are bad guys.
Speaker 2:Oh no, I just yeah. So what are pumpkins?
Speaker 1:afraid of, just like teenage kids, smashing them on Halloween. We just need an army of ne'er-do-wells.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I mean, I think from what you've heard of the pumpkin gang, which is not a lot, they seem like they're the rowdy teenage kids.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they're spooky too, which makes it worse. Ok, I shake the, the locket or whatever contains Philo and I. I say, okay, philo, uh, what does, uh, uh, what. What do pumpkins fear? Like what? What can you tell us about the pumpkin pumpkin head gang these sounds like. Or old king neck even and more. Yeah, yeah, I want to use him on old king neck, like just to learn more about him.
Speaker 1:Okay, so yeah good I wonder uh, this doesn't work if, like king neck, is like a physical entity. But like if king neck, or if he's not, then what if we pulled like a princess bride and like, pretended to be kingdom king neck, like, push me on the cart with a cloak and be like?
Speaker 2:Oh, like King neck has come, he wants you to stop. Yeah.
Speaker 1:I don't. I don't really have abilities that can help with that, though it's like same roles but however, yes and um, but does, uh, I'll I will ask philo about king knack if he knows anything.
Speaker 3:Oh, king knack, yes, yes, yes, I've uh done a little bit of research on this nefarious creature it's like wearing a bathrobe now. Smoking a pipe. He's got a smoking jacket on.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's living his best life.
Speaker 3:No one knows for sure if old King Knack is real or not. Mostly dead.
Speaker 2:Thank you, Princess. Why wouldn't you Mostly dead? Thank you, Francis.
Speaker 3:Why wouldn't you? You see the pumpkins? They cropped up several hundred years ago. I believe the first reports. Some say they're just people in gourds. Others say that they're actually some sort of spirits Dancing around clothes filled with sticks.
Speaker 1:It's terrifying yeah.
Speaker 3:Now you ask me what does old King Meg fear? That's a hard question. What does fear fear? What does?
Speaker 1:fear, fear.
Speaker 2:Not being feared. Yeah, I immediately know how to defeat him.
Speaker 3:We're not afraid of you.
Speaker 2:You could be.
Speaker 1:I'm tempted.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Oh, dang it. I'm tempted to just like wrap on the cellar door, just like straight into danger with my ideal and just be like hey, you in there. I don't know if that's a good idea at all?
Speaker 2:cellar door, just like, yeah, like straight into danger with my ideal and just be like I'm hey, you in there, but I don't know if that's a good idea at all. If you want to do that, I will use my flaw and at least get some xp out of this and I will destroy the door indiscriminately while you jump through it this is crazy, but I like it okay is. Is it happening? Wait hold on.
Speaker 1:Let me see if we can amp this up a bit, like do like intimidation or something.
Speaker 2:Do a Xena war cry.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like, if you do smash it, I want to jump through it.
Speaker 3:Like, be like let me just stop you there, my friends.
Speaker 2:I'm like about to smash it.
Speaker 3:Old King Mac. Perhaps he fears not being feared. But his disciples? Some say they may be diseased creatures. Oh geez, perhaps cursed.
Speaker 2:It's all very mysterious.
Speaker 3:I'm sure that you cannot just intimidate all of them.
Speaker 2:But most of them probably Okay, got it, he's right, he's right, this is crazy.
Speaker 1:We've got to trick them Like we got it. He's right, he's right. This is crazy. We've got to trick them Like we've got to like trick them.
Speaker 2:I say, I say Riley, riley. Okay, get a fan.
Speaker 1:And I'm going to go ahead. What if we could divert them all Like what if something happened where they have to like scramble out?
Speaker 2:We're back to the fire plan.
Speaker 1:I wonder if the elm tree has like any significance to them, cause it was unique, right.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, yeah, ben, ben was it. Was there anything we noticed about the elm tree? Can we go back and check it out real quick? Or was it just like? It was just like a landmark or something?
Speaker 3:Um just six feet away from them.
Speaker 1:Yes, oh, george, I have an idea Can you use, like my smell. Your feet of strength, like shake the limbs. We could pretend to be a beamkin, because they wouldn't know that the beamkin's around.
Speaker 2:Okay, I could definitely do that. I don't know that the beam came around. Okay, I could definitely do that. I don't know. I can't tell if Ben gave himself advantage or disadvantage on this roll.
Speaker 3:No. It's determining the courage of I'm just rolling some location aspects.
Speaker 2:He's rolling to terrify.
Speaker 3:So the elm tree is only significant in that it looks large and out of place in the rest of the landscape. It doesn't look like magically significant. Okay, you can tell. As you go outside it starts pouring heavy rain, you notice there's really tall grass around here.
Speaker 2:George, what do you think? Do you want to try to impersonate a bean can? No-transcript. You can, like.
Speaker 1:You can climb high up in the tree what if I could craft something that could amplify my voice, like just like a old tiny megaphone, like just like a tube, like roll some, like roll some materials together to create like a megaphone thing.
Speaker 2:We'll climb up to the top. You shake the limbs and I'll scream at them, okay and it's muddy.
Speaker 1:How could we use that like? Could we get them like slipping and sliding beneath us as we're, like pretending to smash the barn?
Speaker 2:yeah, I mean, I imagine that would just work against them, as it as it rains, it would get muddier. It may work against us as well uh, what is your ultimate goal? Like it, sounds like we want to draw them out like to scare them out.
Speaker 1:To scare them out of the area by having the beam can like have enough like it's. I've had enough of this because they, by having the beam kin like have enough like it's. Had enough of this Cause they must know that beam kin is nearby.
Speaker 2:Yeah, maybe it'll get rid of goons or something. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:Like in the meta sense, like we'll drive off some, maybe get some goons to flee, and then we like jump out and grab the rest of them. Yeah, does that have pine cones? Does an elm tree have pine cones? Riley's just throwing pine cones at him. I was thinking like doing like a Gandalf thing, like flitting tinder and then throwing flaming pine cones like in the. Hobbit.
Speaker 3:All right. So how do you want to do this?
Speaker 2:All right, yeah, I get behind a tree.
Speaker 1:I'm going to craft a megaphone.
Speaker 2:I'm going to craft a megaphone. Nice.
Speaker 1:How many materials do you think that is Benjamin?
Speaker 3:40. Let's say it's a cheap item.
Speaker 2:Can one of you guys link me to the Google Doc with all the new updated rules. When you have a moment.
Speaker 1:I got to open up the crafting area. I never remember it all, hmm.
Speaker 3:So it's 1D4. 1d4. 1d4.
Speaker 1:Well that's not a problem. That's not a problem at all.
Speaker 3:two materials do you guys have rope?
Speaker 2:do we have rope? I whistle um and uh, claudia comes running. But that's not what I was whistling for.
Speaker 3:I say no, claudia, get back.
Speaker 2:We have this druidic rope that will obey commands and move at our discretion.
Speaker 3:That seems like it would be useful, like moving the tree branches.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, okay, that's great. I could have it loop around two branches and then I'll hold on to it and it'll help me move the hands of the tree.
Speaker 1:So I rolled an 11, but can I use a quest point to make it a 12? Sure.
Speaker 2:To make it a magnificent megaphone.
Speaker 1:I love it.
Speaker 3:I guess it'd be a tool. Yeah, that would be a tool?
Speaker 1:Sure, okay, and then I roll a D 12. Is that how many traits there are?
Speaker 2:Probably.
Speaker 1:I don't think so.
Speaker 2:I don't think there's that many for tools. I don't think so, Tim.
Speaker 3:I'm Tim the Toolman Taylor and.
Speaker 1:Magnificent traits Scrolling, scrolling.
Speaker 3:So yeah, just roll a d6.
Speaker 1:Four.
Speaker 3:It's lucky, once per session reroll a relevant failed skill check. Oh my god that's really good. That is quite good.
Speaker 1:Wow, that's really good. That's perfect for this. I'm going to roll a d4.
Speaker 3:So this is going to take some time just to craft this thing. It takes one leg technically.
Speaker 1:I realize I don't think I can craft this.
Speaker 3:I mean you can, yeah, but it'll be like almost early morning.
Speaker 2:They've all gone to sleep with that. That might be perfect.
Speaker 1:We'll be tired, but if we roll if I roll advantage I mean reroll- as you guys are out there you know crafting and whatnot.
Speaker 3:the chanting does get louder and more rambunctious and um, sounds like like a fight club.
Speaker 2:That's crazy. You just hear them chanting. Two men enter, one man leaves. Okay, all right, george, I'm ready, so you're going gonna kick this off. Riley starts yelling.
Speaker 1:I'll use the megaphone to like yell at them when they're at their rowdiest and I will scream enough nice you dare Nice, you dare Defile the forlorn fields. I have had enough.
Speaker 2:Then Nice, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, the tree branches.
Speaker 3:Um, I imagine that you'll have to like Go inside the barn and shout at the door and then like run back.
Speaker 1:Okay, that's exactly what I'll do.
Speaker 2:Galen sees Riley go sprinting off and he's just like stuck on the tree, like all right, just get ready.
Speaker 1:Galen Get ready.
Speaker 3:I'm ready. So when you're down there and you're shouting into this megaphone, it suddenly goes quiet.
Speaker 1:I run to the tree as fast as I can.
Speaker 3:As you're climbing up, you hear the door blow open and footsteps at the din of many pumpkins. They're all shouting, some are laughing. It's menacing.
Speaker 1:They're crazy. It's totally not going to work. They're out of their minds yeah evil.
Speaker 2:Punk and gang worshiping an evil goddamn spirit roll roll your check all right, shoot your shot. Is this intimidate check? Yeah, actually, george roll it first. Your display of you want me to intimidate, or what do you want me to do? I'm counting on George to make them stop laughing. He starts moving around Roll plus might. Strength. Yeah, I'm counting on George to make them stop laughing. He starts moving around like whoa Roll plus might. Come on, bernard.
Speaker 1:Ow. Okay, this is terrible. It's too strong. The tree is too strong. I'm going to use a quest point to reroll that for George.
Speaker 3:Oh Lord.
Speaker 2:What was that it?
Speaker 1:was a might.
Speaker 2:Yeah, a might. Or it would be enough to activate my feat of strength Six was it would be enough to activate my feet of strength six.
Speaker 3:so it should be enough, I guess uh, yeah yeah that's a success with a twist um, maybe he hits the branches.
Speaker 1:So he like, does it so well that? Like I slip and I'm, but they still can't see me. But I'm like I can't speak.
Speaker 3:OK, you'll have a disadvantage on speaking.
Speaker 2:Ok, oh boy, oh boy, it's here like a ruckus behind.
Speaker 1:God, this was such a good plan, but the rules aren't holding up.
Speaker 2:I say, riley, you gotta do this, you can scare him off. I'll just give a little inspiring order to say Riley has a plus two bonus. Wow, there's a good roll. Riley gets a plus two.
Speaker 3:Okay, you have intimidate disadvantage plus two and then whatever you have Dot com. Yes, that's an 11. Nice.
Speaker 1:I'll shout like you have defiled this land for too long. Prepare for your annihilation.
Speaker 3:So, you see, it's like a group of ants and Ants, because you're way high up.
Speaker 2:Oh, okay, you are about to buzz in the flies to me, claudia, is like spitting fire off the top.
Speaker 3:It lights the tree aflame.
Speaker 2:It's like the apocalypse. Look it's perfect.
Speaker 1:Now it's exactly like the princess.
Speaker 3:Yeah, no, you see like some scatter in all directions but there's like a group that is staying to like fight this tree um I love the idea that they just start fighting. Yes, Ping ping. Both of you make a perception check.
Speaker 2:No Eight. Oh, come on. You know what? I'd rather that be the bad roll. It's fine, it's three.
Speaker 3:Riley, you see one of the running pumpkins and he has this huge spear on his shoulder but he's like running off. Huge spear on his shoulder, but he's like running off do we bail on these guys and go after them?
Speaker 1:well, if we could do it secretly, maybe they'll just start chopping at the tree and it has no effect right.
Speaker 2:Maybe I would read they would be otherwise tied up. Yeah, come back and there's like a pile of logs. Yeah, I think princess funny bone has the right idea.
Speaker 1:I think we're gonna have to go after this dude um I could.
Speaker 2:I wonder if I could use my sling and, like you, hit that guy that would be amazing if you could. It's really hard, not very good, you'd have to hit roll a 12, basically yeah, to do that much dread. Is it possible, ben for me to have my tortoise.
Speaker 1:Just go trample that guy. He just runs over and sits on him.
Speaker 3:Yeah, your tortoise doesn't notice that. You didn't even notice it yeah, it's true, it's true so um yeah, you guys are also tired at this pointus one, um so uh it's like at this point, you, you, riley, you caught a glimpse. Glimpse of him running through the fields. Um, it's dark and he's also with other people, so it would make sense to go after him, yeah, otherwise lose him, yeah.
Speaker 2:Uh, lose him. Yeah, we could slink off the tree. We should just light the Tree of Flame.
Speaker 1:It's already dead right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think so.
Speaker 3:It is raining.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, that's right.
Speaker 2:Oh, fair enough.
Speaker 1:It's tall grass, so if we can dive out of the tree, maybe we can hide in the tall grass and run after the yeah.
Speaker 2:Slink through the glass, slink through the grass.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, I think that's gonna happen, these uh location effects, like it's like changes everything, like there's ways to yeah utilize it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, although the mud right, um, yeah, okay, I think we do that. We kind of bail off the tree and go around the barn and head after these guys all right, you'll need to make um athletics or nimbleness checks.
Speaker 1:Okay, all right, george, I'm going to pep talk you, so you roll advantage on this.
Speaker 2:I appreciate it.
Speaker 1:You can ride FB and potentially catch up faster than I ever could.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'll sit here.
Speaker 1:So let's see what do I roll. 6 plus.
Speaker 3:Roll a 6 plus.
Speaker 1:Fair warning you're also going to have to roll Six plus no, roll a six plus Fair warning.
Speaker 3:You're also going to have to roll a sneak to not be seen. But you'll get plus one, okay, grass.
Speaker 1:Which do you want to pep talk on, George?
Speaker 2:The sneak check probably Okay.
Speaker 1:All right, so I'll roll my athletics real quick. Yeah, god, of course okay beautiful.
Speaker 2:All right, I'm gonna jump off too. It's feast your fan with these rolls you're actually angry when you're rolling a 12 no, I didn't want.
Speaker 1:I didn't want it there I didn't want it.
Speaker 2:I didn't want it there, I didn't want it there.
Speaker 1:I'm not a vote.
Speaker 2:I'm a sixth for my athletics.
Speaker 3:Nice, you take a bit of dread as you land. Take two dread. It's a hard fall.
Speaker 2:I'm going to. It could have been worse. I'm going to say that I use my discerning eye and, um, I want to say that I create a weakness or vulnerability in the land that they're running into. I mean, it's just that the mud has gotten so sopping wet it's almost like quicksand, and then they're having much more trouble running through it. Okay, okay, let me see if we can perceive this. Alright, it's an 11.
Speaker 3:That is true, just make it such things with your eyes.
Speaker 2:I make it so number one. With my eyes, my special brand.
Speaker 1:Mine eye.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I say. Riley, I think we can get them. Come on, they're slowing down.
Speaker 3:Both of you make sneak checks.
Speaker 2:This is the one I have advantage on, you said.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I got to roll fast, though, okay.
Speaker 2:Come on, just keep your head down. Keep my head. What?
Speaker 1:No success.
Speaker 3:You don't have a bonus.
Speaker 1:I have plus one. Yeah, I roll a one. No success, you don't have a bonus. I have plus one.
Speaker 2:Yeah I, I really won, wow I'm not that kind of knight errant. You know I'm not a sneaky guy we fall over each other.
Speaker 1:All of the pumpkins turn around to see us being like.
Speaker 3:Yeah, what was your sneak, riley Five?
Speaker 2:Or wasn't that your. That was your.
Speaker 1:Oh, you're right. You're right, I'm sorry.
Speaker 3:Seven, okay, okay okay, um.
Speaker 2:So I think, galen kind of I just go like busting out of the tall grass on fb's back.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and it's reckless abandon, clearly obvious, and you're kind of like turned around for a second. Yeah, where?
Speaker 2:are they?
Speaker 3:Where are they? Riley, you're able to get into the grass unseen. What would the drawback be?
Speaker 2:I'll use a quest point to not make that a complete failure, if that's the thing, or is it one to two?
Speaker 1:It's one to two.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Shucks.
Speaker 1:Disastrous.
Speaker 3:Say um given um Galen's debacle. Uh, there's no pumpkins between you and him, but they don't see you at the current moment.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 3:So what do you want to do? I think you guys are now moving into a conflict. At least, yeah, so you've got this knight Aaron appearing out of nowhere. At least, yeah, so you've got, uh, this night Aaron appearing out of nowhere in front of the pumpkins who are fighting the tree Galen, you see like some of them are still focused on the Elm tree and like hacking at it, yeah, axes, and like throwing what looked to be acidic pumpkins like explode and just like wow, burn into the tree, ben I.
Speaker 2:I'm gonna tell you what I do right now I smoke bomb it's amazing. I just I threw it in the smoke bomb and I go after the um, the what's it called? The guys in the far field. Just forget these guys. You saw nothing.
Speaker 3:Alright, let's see how good your throw is.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, I was just going to throw it at my feet, but it also makes sense to throw it at them.
Speaker 3:We'll just see how well you can pull this off.
Speaker 1:I can pep talk again. I can do it twice per session.
Speaker 2:It's up to you.
Speaker 1:I feel like a success on this would be superb for us.
Speaker 2:Fair enough, so I'm going to. I accept your pep.
Speaker 1:Come on, hit him right in the kisser.
Speaker 2:Let's see Kisser Ben. What is the? What stat am I using? Is it just an attack roll?
Speaker 3:Yeah, I was thinking it's either attack or nimbleness.
Speaker 2:I'd rather do the attack roll, to be honest. Okay, so it's going to be a six after my bonus, okay.
Speaker 3:I believe, Okay, I think the uh twist is that it's sort of um made you lose track of the other people. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Like focusing on doing that for a second. Let them get farther away.
Speaker 3:Well then, there's now smoke in front of you.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 3:But I mean, you can still run.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but I mean you can still run. Yeah, I'm just gonna have to ride out of the smoke and then see, we'll see wherever they are.
Speaker 1:What are you doing, riley? I am going. I was gonna bolt after the people, but, um, now I'm thinking I might. Is the smoke around me too, or just Okay, and there's two pumpkins between me and George.
Speaker 3:At least now yeah.
Speaker 1:Okay, I'm going to use the megaphone and say, uh, brother, I come to your aid from the smoke at the guys that can't see anything in this hilarious now there are two in their minds. In their minds. Let's see Trickery. Yeah, princess Funnybone just found a shiny T-Pig in Pokemon Go and named it Riley because it's a girl. That's awesome, that's fantastic.
Speaker 2:All right, I'm rolling a trickery, your voice cracks. That's a two, so it's oh, so it's not good.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I feel like people are catching on that.
Speaker 1:Maybe this isn't a being kin.
Speaker 3:Maybe we've been duped.
Speaker 1:Never take us live. This is where I had a stick of dynamite just throw in the barn Like screw everything up.
Speaker 3:Riley, you're currently hidden, but you see the shadows of pumpkins and their glowing faces like in the smoke. Oh, that's awesome, though, and they're just like they're surrounding you, but without knowing that they are yet.
Speaker 2:Unintentionally succeeding.
Speaker 3:Yeah, because they're scouring, looking for whoever just said that All right, let's move to the next round. And what do you guys want to do?
Speaker 2:I want to go after the guy with the spear.
Speaker 3:Alright, so you're bolting. Sorry, riley, bye. Make a search check.
Speaker 1:Let's talk about that in a bit too.
Speaker 2:A search check, it's actually going to be a flat five. I don't have plus one because of the tired. I will add one quest point the six.
Speaker 3:Okay, you bolt out of the smoke leaving chaos behind you.
Speaker 2:Chas Chas.
Speaker 3:As you go after them. Fb gets caught up in some of the muck just as uh, those other ones are trying to get out. You see the guy with the spear using his spear is like a yeah, like a yeah, a pull can, can I?
Speaker 2:oh, no, you're saying my drawback because I rolled a six as I get caught up in the mud. Okay, I was gonna yeah. Okay, that's, I get it, I get it so that's the current situation.
Speaker 3:You get your like.
Speaker 2:Between you is a stretch of horrible mud oh, it's fine, I know how to deal with this you willed into existence I did it's uh it can I do something right now, ben uh, what you want to do I uh I'm gonna have fb do a stunt or tricky maneuver uh, we'll say, next round you can do it yeah okay okay it's the same sense I always do. It's like the only. It's my favorite thing to make a tortoise or any kind of plastron wielding animal do.
Speaker 3:I love it All right, like Super.
Speaker 1:Mario like the shell. Yep, yep, I knew it. That's the first thing that came into my head.
Speaker 2:As they're starting their round you just hear me yell FB legs up.
Speaker 1:Yep.
Speaker 3:All right, riley you are surrounded. They don't see you yet, but any like mishap will definitely alert them. They don't see you yet, but any like miss mishap will definitely alert them all right, I am going to, um, I'm gonna just bolt.
Speaker 1:I think I'm just gonna bolt and this girl is gonna. Actually, maybe I can sneak out of the smoke.
Speaker 2:I'm just going to bolt. I think I'm just going to bolt. This girl is going to oost in.
Speaker 1:Actually, maybe I can sneak out of the smoke. Is that possible?
Speaker 3:Yes, it is possible. It's not going to give you any sort of advantage because they're literally surrounding you. Okay, can I?
Speaker 1:use my sling and sling a little ball into the barn to make a noise.
Speaker 2:Oh, that's a misdirection.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm going to try to do that. I'm going to try to make it sound like I'm in the barn or near the barn.
Speaker 2:It doesn't even need me in it, okay.
Speaker 1:Do I need to roll a regular attack and is there any benefit to actually attacking the broadside of a barn?
Speaker 2:Can you actually hit the broad side of a barn Right?
Speaker 1:This is where it gets tested. Can I hit the broad side of a barn?
Speaker 3:I think attack makes sense and given, like the circumstances, where you're surrounded by people, there's smoke, I mean hitting the broad side of the barn might be a little challenging.
Speaker 1:Okay, all right, so I'll take the. I have to hit a nine and it's minus one.
Speaker 2:For the next three rounds. Riley actually sequentially hits punking gang guys in the head and knocks them out.
Speaker 1:She just keeps trying to hit the barn. Actually, could I use Jack of all trades? It's no Stormtrooper-like aiming.
Speaker 2:That's funny.
Speaker 1:Can I use Jack of all trades and man back in the river country like I used to be able to Bullseye. Yeah, sorry, killer rat yeah.
Speaker 2:Bullseye.
Speaker 1:killer ads Bullseye killer ads my T16 slingshot, so would that give me advantage on this action?
Speaker 3:This is an attack though. Yeah, I mean I'll let you do it. I wouldn't do this for combat, if you're like.
Speaker 1:I'm good at attacking. Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, all right. I have no idea. Riley cannot hit the broad side of the barn.
Speaker 3:This is a wicked situation.
Speaker 2:Can the advantage be that Riley hits one of the punking gang in the side of the head and then he thinks it was the other guy? Like the guy next to him and they like quibble.
Speaker 1:That's funny.
Speaker 2:Or like that's the.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I'll say that happens. It's sort of like a delay.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Riley, it's sort of like a delay. Yeah, Riley, they're sort of bickering. I think by the end of them figuring it, they'll figure out. It wasn't each other, it was you. But you're fine at the moment. But at the start of next round you'll be able to run, but they will be aware of you. This is going to be a cartoon chase.
Speaker 1:I think we've got to bolt man Like we just got to run.
Speaker 2:It's going to be no one able to get traction on the mud, and they're six feet behind you but not making any progress, taylor, yeah.
Speaker 3:All right, next round, george. Um, all right, next round, george. Now are you thinking of writing the creature, or are you or like for the creature ben, we're literally kicking fb like super mario no. I'm not going to kick her.
Speaker 2:No, she's so big. I would like the physics of that. It's just not good. It would be so rude to kick my tortoise. No, galen will quickly ramp up speed because she accelerates faster than you'd expect and then her legs retract and she goes sliding across like a bowling ball and they're the pins I think in my mind like part of the trick is because you're already in mud part of the trick is like giving her a push and then hopping on okay, all right.
Speaker 2:So what, sure, that's fine uh, what do you? Detail though. Oh okay, okay, all right, I see we're getting it. I was like, all right, I'm gonna have to make more checks now. Um well, we'll see how this even goes. So, yeah, uh, galen, galen is like trying to muscle fb's back to give her some speed, and let's see if this goes off without a hitch. So roll with advantage. Ah, thank god, that's gonna be 12 on the nose, with plus 2, minus 1 we needed that 12.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we needed that. I said FB, let's go.
Speaker 2:And uh, I give her it's like starting a bobsled, like it's like two, and I jump on her back and, uh, her legs pop up and we start sliding across you're going so fast you pass some of the pumpkin stragglers yeah, they look at me, pass by as I, as I pass them, I look at them and I flip down the visor on my helmet um, you see the pumpkin with the spear who, like, finally gets this foot out of the mud and it's about to bolt um, can I do like an? I'll take that kind of moment and use the druidic rope to lasso it out of his hands.
Speaker 1:That would be amazing.
Speaker 3:How's that going to work with the druidic rope?
Speaker 2:I don't know, just it's. It's a base, commands and can move at our discretion. So that's kind of with the druidic rope, I don't know, just it's uh obeys commands and can move at our discretion. So that's kind of at the limit. It's at the limitation of what you guys think, but like princess.
Speaker 1:Funny bone, says indiana jones like yeah, that's exactly what I'm thinking yeah, uh, okay, we'll say that you.
Speaker 2:The druidic rope lets you get hold of it oh yeah, because you know what I'm looking at the description in the book now, and it says the rope will magically move and tie itself on command. So I could probably tie the rope around it as I'm sliding by now make a might check yeah, I was gonna say he might yank me off.
Speaker 2:I use a quest point to use Feet of Strength again, so that I have to maybe do a lower might. Geely Bobber, so it's going to be a d12 plus one. Okay, so it'll be a 10. I rip his arms off.
Speaker 1:With the rest it's just a bundle of sticks. It's like horror yeah.
Speaker 3:He's just got this glowing pumpkin head. Yeah, you rip his arms off and attach to the spear is like the stick hand Big twigs yeah, and the guy's just staying there.
Speaker 1:Oh.
Speaker 2:Riley, I disarmed him, come on.
Speaker 3:You look back and see Riley running for her life Making an athletics. Check Riley.
Speaker 1:Yeah, as the Princess White One says, just a three stooges bit. I think she's talking about the two pumpkins being like what's my idea? What the? That is a eight Seven.
Speaker 3:All right, you get out of that area. They're chasing behind you, but you have also entered the sticky mud. I think that's going to be this round. So setting the stage, riley has just entered this stretch of sticky mud. Galen, you're at the end of it. You've just grabbed the spear.
Speaker 2:Um there are back at bog town.
Speaker 3:there are a lot of pumpkins in between you two and behind Riley, so Riley is sandwiched.
Speaker 2:It's a Riley sandwich. How many are near? How many are between me and Riley? You said a lot, but I'm just curious.
Speaker 3:I'm going to roll for it.
Speaker 2:Okay, and then whatever you do, minus one, because I disarmed that guy.
Speaker 3:There are three.
Speaker 2:I attack them.
Speaker 3:Behind her are way more like countless, countless.
Speaker 1:Hordes of them, like way more, like countless, countless, it's like the easterlings in lord of the rings.
Speaker 2:Oh my god, ben. Uh. This may not be the right time, but I'm going to ask anyways what does the dragon horn do?
Speaker 3:the dragon horn do Dragon horn or dragon's bolt.
Speaker 2:Sorry the spear that I retrieved. Oh, it may be useful right now.
Speaker 3:Oh, you know what, didn't think of that, but let me see I'm going to make up a magic item right now.
Speaker 2:Okay, this is how the sausage is made, folks.
Speaker 3:George roll 3D 700. George roll 3D700.
Speaker 2:Done. Two of those are pretty close together.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's amazing, 3d700. I'm looking at the list of words that we have.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Um five, 73 is actually worms, which is amazing.
Speaker 2:Like W Y R M S Love it. We're not giving this back to this guy.
Speaker 3:Scissors, scissors Three, six, five scissors scissors 365 laughing swashbuckling worms, scissors of swashbuckling so I think you can throw this and. So I think, you can throw this and like a javelin basically, and cut something into.
Speaker 2:That's awesome. I hope he doesn't throw it at riley when we have the duel.
Speaker 3:that's how he wins every duel yeah, um, in fact, like even as powerful, as like throwing it at the ground and like creating a huge oh sure yeah chasm bomb chasm and maybe, like we'll break that up into charges, like the created the effect, the more charges it uses sure well, he wants it back.
Speaker 2:He didn't want it back with all its charges. Uh, do you want to roll to see how many I'm gonna roll to see how many charges it has left on it?
Speaker 3:yeah, roll a d20 five charges left.
Speaker 2:I like it, I mean it's I. I feel like he's used it while he owns it.
Speaker 3:Here's your weapon back.
Speaker 2:He shakes it, I don't know. Alright, 5 out of 20 charges.
Speaker 1:Somebody can't use it against me if it goes south.
Speaker 2:That's my plan too. I want to. I say, Riley jump, no, Can't, actually I can Do. You think, oh, I can do something. Do you have the the flying, the collapsible pocket hang glider? I do and I have, I could lose, so I could like all right, because I can open up a crevasse beneath these guys who are between you and me I'll hang glider cross. Yes, yes, all right, I think that's what's happening uh it's like godlike powers right now.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's like so situationally perfect, yeah yeah, this is eerily reminiscent of when I had there the seat of hurricanes yeah I yell by the power of grayskull and plunge the javelin at their feet like opening up a crevasse at their feet.
Speaker 3:All right.
Speaker 2:I'm going to roll a d5 to see how many charges it uses. I don't know if you want to do that or how you want to do it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I was thinking actually that doing something as big as that, which is the maximum effect, would be five charges.
Speaker 1:That's perfect.
Speaker 2:I love it.
Speaker 3:It's a pretty huge chasm that opens up, like you're changing the the landscape of the world we we have like it's another crack we?
Speaker 2:I was gonna say we realize now that, yeah, there's a second crack yeah somebody call sven. Um, I mean, I guess we could have just made a smaller opening beneath them but I like the idea. I like the idea that we I don't know how to use this thing, I would just use it to the fullest of its power so okay, you've done that, riley, you've still got the people on your tail.
Speaker 3:They're going to attack you, but you can like start flying.
Speaker 2:I'm totally going to start flying are you going to make an eye for clues like a rock to launch yourself off of, or something I was going to make an eye?
Speaker 1:for clues and jump into a wheelbarrow that starts to get me rolling and then I'll just like take off.
Speaker 3:That's hilarious it's like every old prop plane trying to take off a runway while people are like chasing it on a horseback or something I'm like I'm running and I see a man and they jump in the road and I start skating along, and then I do that um, I like the idea that riley ends up in junk town because she succeeds so hard.
Speaker 1:That is a seven six.
Speaker 3:Okay, I think more, more people than you thought will attack you. Oh, but you, you lift off into the air and then you see horrible rotten pumpkins whizzing by your head.
Speaker 2:They explode in green clouds in the air like flack in a World War II movie.
Speaker 1:Some flashes on the side of the wing and it's just a melt. One of the wings, we lost an engine.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I like doing sideways across yeah, that is a hit okay I like the idea that the megaphone strapped to your, your waist is actually making like plane noises as the air rushes through it like this particular, pumpkin deals an additional d6 damage. It's 12 this particular pumpkin yeah, with temporary hit points yeah, I am at five okay, critical.
Speaker 3:of course I get critically five. Okay, that was a critical.
Speaker 1:Of course I get critically hit all the time.
Speaker 2:You do, you do Okay.
Speaker 3:Okay, that would be a ten.
Speaker 2:Oh Stout Hardy. Oh yeah, stout Hardy. I think that would bring you down to oh Stout Hearty. Oh yeah, Stout Heart.
Speaker 3:I think that would bring you down to zero, wouldn't it? Even with Stout Heart?
Speaker 2:Because it halves it. Yes, I like the idea that Riley's limp body just deposited on a hang ladder into my hands.
Speaker 1:I have the Courage Potion, but I can't use it.
Speaker 2:I use it to gain courage for myself.
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay, okay, I'll see you later, sucker yeah.
Speaker 2:You see, galen, at the edge of the edge, my fingers slip off.
Speaker 1:I use fumble at the same time as I'm going down, just so that I knock him off of FB when I land.
Speaker 2:Oh no, she's gaining momentum as she plunges towards me.
Speaker 1:I got her.
Speaker 2:I got her, I got her.
Speaker 3:Well, actually roll to randomly see which way you fall.
Speaker 2:Is she close enough for?
Speaker 3:me to druidic rope maybe we'll see TBD I like the idea that Galen now has, like an Indiana Jones like rope that I'm probably abusing.
Speaker 2:Oh, is that one is bad? Is that the exact opposite direction?
Speaker 3:no, it starts clockwise yeah, it would kind of be that your momentum is not flags yeah it's like ha go unconscious and it's like right before I get there you were kind of like at the edge of the chasm.
Speaker 1:I crumple at the edge of the chasm.
Speaker 2:And then the weight of the hang glider starts pulling me toward it.
Speaker 1:Oh wow, yeah, yeah yeah, it's just like dragging me behind. It's like my legs caught in it. Yeah.
Speaker 3:Oh my gosh Roll to see how many rounds you're unconscious uh, what are all before?
Speaker 2:yeah, three I'm out like a light. Um, I can use maybe my quest point, my last quest point, to ride FB in the last-ditch effort and then do kind of like one of those you know how the Mongolian archers will like slide off the side of the horse or whatever. But I'm going to reach down and grab Riley as she's about to fall over the side of the. No, she's actually falling oh, then I casually Santa rover pick up her life.
Speaker 2:But you're on the other side of the chasm oh wait, riley's on the wrong side oh no it's the worst possible thing could happen I always get critically hit whenever I'm attacked.
Speaker 1:It's like I expect it now that sucks, does anyone?
Speaker 2:has anyone here a kobold? I have a kobold.
Speaker 3:Well, here's the situation. The people that Riley outran are not soon going to be there, but the people that you outran are now moving towards Riley.
Speaker 2:Didn't I drop them into a hole in the ground? Or that was just the guys between me and them, me and her.
Speaker 3:I thought you were just cutting them off. I don't know.
Speaker 2:No, I said I wanted to open up a hole at their feet. If I could Got it. I feel like we both might have kind of glanced past, glanced over that information. Do you want to like retcon it somehow, because there may have been more involved, okay?
Speaker 3:fine, did you throw it?
Speaker 2:I don't remember no, I wanted to just stab it into the ground. Um, I assumed that I was closer to them because I had just wrenched it out of the guy's hands. Alternatively, I could have thrown it, but I would have kept the druidic rope tied to it why don't you make an attack and just see how that went? All right I'm like it has a good heft to it. That's fine rolling the dice, come on, okay. 11 nice.
Speaker 3:There's no, no trace of them. They fell into the chasm, um, but currently, yeah, the pumpkins are trudging through the mud towards Riley. They'll get there in three rounds, so unless you can do something before that, I just, I just waited out I, rather than like eventually.
Speaker 2:Um how okay, the the juridic rope I I don't want to keep abusing it, but it's the only tool I got right now. Um what, how long is this thing?
Speaker 3:probably 20 you want to call it, like a 30 feet of rope 30 feet of rope.
Speaker 2:Okay, classic, the classic unit of rope measurement. Now can I throw it at how far or how wide is the gap?
Speaker 3:I think you could like riley's right at the edge. I think you could like Riley's right at the edge.
Speaker 2:I think you could do it like throw it at her Conceivably, have it tie itself around her and then like we'll see how long Pull it cover it smash into the side.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean like it's going to happen.
Speaker 2:She might take more dread, but I feel like I don't know how fast I could pull it up. I wouldn't mind if you wanted to be like we'll see how many rounds it takes me to pull it up, and if they get there and throw pumpkins at me while I'm pulling her up, or something, I feel like that might create more drama of an interesting situation than like I tie a rope and we go. Not that I want to take a text, but I mean anyway. So we'll start off with the. I'll like whip the druidic rope around her.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:All right, it wraps around, and yeah, I think you could slowly pull her, and yeah oh, how about not injure her?
Speaker 2:yeah, that's what I was gonna say, like pull her fast and you will like she'll.
Speaker 3:I mean she's gonna fall in the chasm like hit rocks and slam.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think that I want to slowly kind of pull her as gently as possible, or or I guess like if there's a tree kind of hanging over the chasm I could drag her over the tree branch or something.
Speaker 3:You know what I mean, it's fine I think the trade-off is slowly you get attacked yeah fast. She'll get hurt and like I don't know if we have rules about getting hit while you're unconscious, but it it's not good, I'll probably say she's wounded yeah I mean that that makes, do I feel like, if I Do it, the fast one.
Speaker 1:Yeah, do it the fast one. Let me be wounded. It'll be great for me to escape. And then I face Elnar and give him the spear.
Speaker 2:I hear.
Speaker 1:It'll be like dishonorable to fight me yeah.
Speaker 2:I hear Riley's voice in my head and it goes, do it, goes, do it. And galen kind of uh, kind of whips the rope and like flicks her up into the air and we'll see if he can kind of pull her in. I'm gonna roll a d12. Uh, it's a three. So whatever I'm doing is not gonna end well a three oh um, well, I it's. I don't know what I'm adding to it. I was just making a d12 roll and we're just going to go from there I might okay, so it's going to be a five no because I'm minus one.
Speaker 2:Yeah okay, yeah, riley um it all goes horribly south, yeah it like jolts me like for one second and she's yeah um fb just closes her eyes and shakes her head galen.
Speaker 3:Um, you're wounded. Riley galen, you're like holding her at the edge, like pulling her up. You are attacked.
Speaker 2:I just make eye contact with the biggest Of the pumpkin guys and he chucks a pumpkin At my face.
Speaker 3:That'll be a hit.
Speaker 2:I counter attack him immediately. Oh wait, what's your defense? It's still plus one.
Speaker 3:That'll be a hit. I counterattack him immediately. Oh wait, what's your defense?
Speaker 2:It's still plus one, so it's going to be just a regular hit. I don't know, it's not a critical, that's all I care about.
Speaker 3:Yeah, actually sorry, this is a ranged attack, oh.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you're not going to hit a 9. Wait, does he hit me If he rolled a 7 and I have plus 1, so he needs to hit an 8?.
Speaker 3:A 9. No no, no.
Speaker 2:But it would be an 8 with my defense penalty right.
Speaker 3:But he needs to hit a 9.
Speaker 2:Oh no, but it would be an 8 with my defense penalty, right, but he's hit a 9. Oh, interesting. So this is a glancing blow, interesting. Okay, I never use ranged weapons.
Speaker 3:You take two glancing blows.
Speaker 2:They kind of like bounce off my helmet and ring my bell a little bit. They kind of like bounce off my helmet and ring my bell a little bit. Courage points 28 out of 25. Now it's down to 26 out of 25. No wait, yeah, 28 out of 25. Nope, 28 out of 23,. 26 out of 23 math.
Speaker 3:All right, you're able to pull up Riley in this next round.
Speaker 1:Yeah, get her onto FB math all right, you're able to pull up riley in this next round.
Speaker 3:Yeah, get her on to fb and a couple more spending.
Speaker 2:Pumpkins are tossed at you as you run away yeah, I spend an entire round, uh, just you know, making rude gestures at them. Oh, and they ring my bell oh, no, oh no ben is like the critical machine um, oops, that's 10 dread uh, I, I, I'm just gonna shrug it off. So I take half the amount, so I take five, so I'm at 21 out of 23.
Speaker 3:And your defense is plus one, because that's the effect of this pumpkin.
Speaker 2:So now my defense is plus two. Oh yeah, that'll do it. So much pumpkin spice, but no time to enjoy it another. It's the wrong kind of spice, oh my gosh so much damage I'm glad that I shrugged off the first one.
Speaker 1:No, kidding that one? No kidding, that'd killed me twice.
Speaker 3:With an additional one.
Speaker 2:That's just rude. It's like I'm almost out of range and some boink Alright Works for the wear.
Speaker 3:But there's a 30-foot chasm between you and you guys are off to the races. Where do you go? Can we go? Go ahead.
Speaker 1:I guess it's probably morning we got to ride.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we have to ride. We can do a leg through Munch and then get close to Bogtown.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I'll make a travel check because riley's unconscious. Uh, meanwhile, I don't know, claudia's tending to you and zona, somehow, was always on the right side of the chasm, it didn't matter. Um, d12 plus two. Now, oof, it's a six. This is not going to end well. Okay, roll a D6. Yep, maybe we'll stumble in the right direction.
Speaker 1:Nope, it's the worst, oh no, oh, you're killing me, all right.
Speaker 3:We end up in Beezleberf another d6 oh, one, two, three only go the right way, but they go to munch.
Speaker 2:No only move one okay, um, can I make another travel? Or is riley conscious, or how do we how it's?
Speaker 3:been around, riley would be conscious by now.
Speaker 2:Riley has just been enjoying a nap, yeah.
Speaker 3:I say oh sorry, I smell both wounded and tired and hangry.
Speaker 2:It's perfect yeah.
Speaker 1:Going into a dual wounded and tired.
Speaker 3:Um so right, Going into a duel wounded and tired, you want to make a check?
Speaker 1:Oh no.
Speaker 3:Hold on.
Speaker 1:Hold on.
Speaker 2:No, no, no, it's Mr Trap. He's riding out of nowhere. He throws more bombs at us?
Speaker 1:Oh no, does it help at all if I use a quest point? Oh no, mr Trap, it's riding out of nowhere. It throws more bombs at us. Does it help at all?
Speaker 3:if I use a quest point, no, what's your original modifier?
Speaker 1:Plus two, so it's three is my total.
Speaker 3:No, it's going to always be dangerous.
Speaker 1:One of my eyes is like swollen shut, like with a black eye, and I'm like I think it's this way and we totally go into it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you have no death perception, yeah no death perception at all.
Speaker 3:Okay, roll a d100.
Speaker 2:Anyone but Mr Trap. I'm pretty sure that's Mr Trap 96.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 1:Please be something we cannot run Right.
Speaker 2:All right.
Speaker 3:I should have leveled up what is our doom. What is your quest?
Speaker 2:I'm just trying to process this um I feel like this just can't be good no, it's just uh.
Speaker 3:That doesn't mean it's a terrible thing, it's just hard to make it. You know, work all the time yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Well, you want to tell us what it is and we can try to like help make it work or finally keep your secrets I think this is one of the undercooked ones, so it's just like scarecrows are chasing airrup from their nest. What's a chirrup? It's like a fox creature. I say, huh, look at that, we keep writing. Well, let me try and process. This is a great thing to hear. That's how we feel too.
Speaker 3:But do you? Know what I mean, Since it's one of the undercooked ones. If you want to make it a perilous, it could, they could have gone.
Speaker 2:Well, they could have gone across our path and then make a decision whether or not to go after us or the chirrup, I suppose.
Speaker 3:Sure, you guys are riding like just outside of Munch and we're almost home, free Riley. A chirrup, which is this fox-like creature with many tails Bounds in front of you, cutting you off on the road. And behind you a murder of scarecrows. A murder of scarecrows is really good Calling after it and they're like coming straight at you for your heads.
Speaker 1:Hmm.
Speaker 2:Um, okay, I'm going to go ahead and commanding presence the scarecrows. I don't know if that's going to work, though, because they're scarecrows I don't know if that's going to work, though, because they're scarecrows Go for it. I glare at them with a steely gaze through the grill of my helmet, so I'm going to be minus one to it.
Speaker 3:That's a nine.
Speaker 2:Wow Okay, that's a nine. Wow, okay. Uh, goons will keep their distance or flee from combat, or, if they're npcs, they'll generally be respectfully amenable, perhaps begrudgingly so, depending on their character they, uh, they stop in flight and go like kind of yeah, and call and say fly, fly, fly away.
Speaker 3:That's right, get out of here.
Speaker 2:Yeah, riley's like on the back of the tortoise like I can't even fully stand up yet.
Speaker 1:So I'm just like throwing, like crackers Get out of here Get out of here.
Speaker 2:I flip up my visor and look down at the chirrup and I pat the back of FB and bite it up.
Speaker 3:Our party's going to grow. It chirps at you.
Speaker 2:Make a metal check. Oh God, it's mind controlled me.
Speaker 1:Oh gosh, it's more dangerous than this, yeah.
Speaker 3:Actually make a metal check.
Speaker 2:That was a heck of a time to be metallic. I actually am just an 11 5 Riley passes out.
Speaker 1:I can make it a 6.
Speaker 3:I do it with all your minuses.
Speaker 1:I forgot about my minuses. That's a two. That's a two. I can use a quest point to make it a three, if that helps me. I don't know what's happening yet.
Speaker 3:Now, riley, you get off of the, you jump off of FB running after the chirrup.
Speaker 2:Riley, no, Come back here hey come back, hey, hey. Can I catch her?
Speaker 3:hey, come back hey, hey, can I catch her with a rope? Um, it takes. It takes a little bit it's like just it's like bouncing through the grass and I'm like running around hey come here and because of that, you guys um experience another bump in the road.
Speaker 1:Okay oh my gosh, because of that, you guys experience another bump in the road. Okay, oh my gosh, you've already attracted unwanted attention.
Speaker 2:We've already missed the appointed time for a duel.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's like right now oh gosh, she's going to be pissed, that's okay.
Speaker 2:We have his totally.
Speaker 1:Sorry, I'm late.
Speaker 2:Here's your spear yeah.
Speaker 3:Alright, so about midday you're able to get Riley and Stumblin to munch.
Speaker 1:To munch. Gosh you're so far away.
Speaker 3:The chirp had some sort of dazzling chirp that makes you want to chase it.
Speaker 2:Well, so the chirp was asking for the Scarecrows to chase it, basically. We saved the Scarecrows' lives. Yeah, we're Scarecrow heroes. I hope they realize that they don't. No one realizes it yeah, no one ever realizes when we're heroes the chirrup is actually a horrible predator, but I believe it, I believe it entirely. I'm so glad that one of us passed their metal check.
Speaker 3:Okay, what are you?
Speaker 2:doing in Munch Going to. Bogtown. Is that what you?
Speaker 1:want to do. What do you think?
Speaker 2:Well.
Speaker 1:Can we send a message? Is there a?
Speaker 2:way that we can send a message. You think, oh yeah, carrier carrier ward you'd be like as fast as a message you underestimate our ability to get turned around, ben yeah, at least we're hiring somebody we'll be hiring someone who's well-rested. Actually, you know what?
Speaker 1:I'm going to go straight into danger again. I'm just going to be like we got to press on.
Speaker 2:And like she takes FB and I have to hop on the back and I'm like FB. You betrayed me.
Speaker 1:I'm just like bobbing, totally exhausted.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Come on FB.
Speaker 2:All right, we exhausted. Come on FB, we can do this. Do you want to make the travel check, since you're heading into danger?
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2:Let the record reflect. You're getting XP for this.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh, that is horrific. Negative two Negative one. Oh my gosh, that is horrific. Negative two, negative one.
Speaker 2:FB explodes.
Speaker 1:Oh gosh.
Speaker 3:Alright, alright, roll a D100.
Speaker 2:The chirp is back with a vengeance.
Speaker 1:Chirp, chirp back with a vengeance. I'm hungry, chirp, chirp, get all the way. 65. These are perilous.
Speaker 2:This is like when we got caught in the murder hills or whatever it was it can't be worse. Dirt nap dunes, murder hills Might as well have been murder hills.
Speaker 3:Alright, this is pretty good. For whom?
Speaker 1:Ben Costa, clean it up.
Speaker 3:It's just kind of ridiculous Hasn't killed us yet. You guys, as you leave, munch the quaint Hamlet and enter this uh wilderness area, you stumble across this uh sort of green barrel mound.
Speaker 1:Hmm.
Speaker 3:That sits alone in a flowery field and you see the entrance to this tomb Hobbits, the stone entrance is like displaced, it's like on the ground. So it's open, mm-hmm, and you see a figure inside. As you get close to it, a dark figure emerges. Oh my gosh, defilers, it is you who have stolen my relic uh, it is you who have stolen my relic.
Speaker 1:We have not stolen any relic Come closer.
Speaker 2:No, no, no.
Speaker 1:Who are you?
Speaker 2:I said Riley, don't encourage him. Don't encourage him, let's go, just ignore the encounter. What?
Speaker 1:relic do you speak of? We don't like being told we're thieves, especially when it's not true.
Speaker 2:It might be true.
Speaker 3:You've stolen my amulet.
Speaker 1:We have not. I have no amulet. See, look for yourself, and I'll pull his shirt down.
Speaker 2:Riley, don't pull your shirt down. That's inappropriate.
Speaker 3:Yes, don't pull your shirt down. That's inappropriate. Yes, of course.
Speaker 2:It's impossible that you could be carrying it in your pocket With a really big amulet or something I would quite literally stand up and undo my pockets, not getting what he means.
Speaker 3:It's easy to hide it and literally just come closer and prove it nope, we're not entering your circle of flowers.
Speaker 1:You crazy man, I will hunt you down, galen, we don't have time for this. I jump off the tortoise and I like walk right up to the guy and be like we didn't take your amulet.
Speaker 3:Whoever took your amulet, they're long gone um, you get closer because he's not stepping out of the darkness that's the thing it's a vampire, um, and it smells awful in here. It's like really old and musty oh man um he looks. He looks pretty bestial, Mm-hmm. In tattered clothing, Some like ancient fashion.
Speaker 2:Uh-huh.
Speaker 3:And he grabs you by the arm, Riley.
Speaker 2:I immediately shake and throw my Firefly Jar of Perpetual Light.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 2:I'm hoping that it's going to be bright enough to like be like a flash bang, and make him piss and drop riley unless riley has james. You want to do something?
Speaker 1:I'm gonna use I for clues. Oh wait, how is the door? It's a like it's a stone, it's like knocked over oh, yeah, okay, never mind.
Speaker 3:He's pulling you up and rifling through your pockets.
Speaker 2:Okay, if he's just searching.
Speaker 1:I'm not going to fight back just yet. I don't have it.
Speaker 3:And he grabs you by the chin Like spreads. Open your mouth, no.
Speaker 1:I I'm going to fight his hand.
Speaker 2:Oh, my God.
Speaker 1:As hard as I can. I'm going to. You turn him into a shrimp because you bite him I, um, I'm gonna bite his hand as hard as I can yeah ah, and if you could gain more than one xp from using your ideals, I would be level 70 yeah, you would be lord level 70.
Speaker 3:Um, uh, you want to attack him, um, or it would make make a might check maybe yeah, I wasn't thinking like attack him, like yeah I was like make narrative, like hey, like you know, wow, it's awesome it's a 10.
Speaker 3:It's not a crit oh yeah, your, your bite strength isn't uh on point today. No, your jaw is really sore but uh he, he sort of like grunts and uh drops, you reflect reflexively can I back like away, so you can't reach me in the sunlight yeah, you see his claw like go after you and then like his skin we just don't have any more abilities like this guy's a monster, you knight prove it to me.
Speaker 2:I strip naked.
Speaker 1:Just like Dwight Schrute when he takes his pants off and loses his shirt.
Speaker 2:I'm just fed up with this guy at this point. He's wasting our time. He's a crazy old vampire man. I carefully lay out and I carefully lay out all my gear and armor in front of this guy, in the light, on a solid six feet. Yeah, exactly, covet precautions, keep my distance. I open my mouth as big as I can to show him each one of my teeth and I say there, okay right you know who probably took it who mr trap?
Speaker 1:punk. Mr. Yeah, mr, trap in that punking gang who are they? They're in the forlorn fields. Real spooky bunch.
Speaker 2:You'd like them but uh, I started putting my clothes on the insult just came out of me.
Speaker 1:He goes ah yeah, that's, they've got a lot. It looks like they're taking lots of stuff.
Speaker 3:I will find them. Well when it's dark you'll find them. And if you've lied to to me, then I will find you.
Speaker 1:He's still rifling through your stuff look, I said probably, I don't know hey, hey, hey, be gentle, gently, shut up he takes the next hour to like thoroughly look through all your stuff.
Speaker 2:I ask him while he's looking, I say, look, really, what does this amulet look like At this point? We will get you. We can help you look for your amulet. You're going to be a jerk.
Speaker 1:Riley's gotten sort of desensitized to the horror of this guy and she's just like eating a Nacodonky tube steak. Like talking to them with their mouth full.
Speaker 3:Like you're not gonna find it. Yeah, not in there. You gonna offer me any?
Speaker 2:Wait, I thought you, I thought y'all didn't eat people food, because it makes you throw up.
Speaker 3:I'm hungry I could feast upon blood.
Speaker 1:Oh do you actually have anything that would I'll like piece off some, some hot dog and like toss it to him For him to catch.
Speaker 2:While he's searching Through our stuff, I'm just gonna go like Kill a rabbit or something. How about the chicken? No, I don't eat that I'll pat her head and she, like, belts his fire. Yeah.
Speaker 1:It'll give you heartburn. Yeah, steer clear of that. Believe me, you should see the eggs. Oh my gosh, the omelets we get.
Speaker 2:Yep, spicy, they're already cooked when they come out. He looks at Zona Imbach and says what about the mushroom? And then zona imbock bears his fangs and, uh, the vampire said no, never mind, never mind, we're cool, we're cool yeah he just bumps him from across the room.
Speaker 3:Yeah, oh, so he's done searching through your, your belongings, and he says leave me.
Speaker 2:I asked him. I said look, you've wasted enough of our time. What is your amulet look like and what does it do? It's purple purple amulet. Okay. Silver, silver or just the color just the color. Both of us, like Riley and I, look at each other and shake our heads.
Speaker 1:He's angry at first, but then he realizes that's a reasonably detailed question. Yeah, yeah, it's just the color.
Speaker 3:It's really more of a nickel, oh, like silver Okay all right.
Speaker 2:Well, if you keep it well polished, it becomes another hour-long discussion about upkeep and maintenance of amulets Over thousands of years. Yeah, hey, look, you know we'll keep an eye out for it, you know. I guess we would just kind of have to find out who raided your tomb recently.
Speaker 3:Yes, if you find it, I will reward you with riches.
Speaker 2:Just one of those things where you bite us and turn us into vampires and you think that's a reward, or you like promise you're going to do it to us like forever. Oh yeah, that's even worse. Yeah, and it would just be my thrall for a little bit longer. It's fine.
Speaker 3:I am honorable.
Speaker 2:We are too. Wasn't honorable the way that you manhandled my friend here. I'm just saying well, I bid him. She is a lady, so it goes both ways Sorry. I give him an air high five and I hop back on FB I say we got to go. We'll let you know, but we'll, we'll look, we'll look for it.
Speaker 3:Farewell.
Speaker 2:And you as, and also with you or whatever. I don't know how to respond to that.
Speaker 3:I keep going, you hear him like, yell in frustration and knock things over inside his tomb if we had only looked more carefully, he actually has the amulet in his pocket oh silly me.
Speaker 2:For 5,000 years I didn't look my rat wanted to say hi for a bit Hello to. Princess Funnybones, rat Princess.
Speaker 3:Funny rat. Alright, you know what I think? We're gonna leave a cliffhanger as you guys get to Bogtown. We enter town and everyone there's a hush that falls. You know what? I think we're going to leave a cliffhanger.
Speaker 2:As you guys skip the bog town, we enter town and everyone there's a hush that falls across like no. Those are the guys who skipped out on the duel, the duel, the duel, the duel. That never happened.
Speaker 1:Other Felmog knights are looking at us like yeah, yeah, I don't envy them.
Speaker 3:You guys are like six hours late.
Speaker 2:Penelope Rouse.
Speaker 1:I'm going to like just like, hey, gatlin, hand me a spear, I'm going to grab it from him. Just go right up to like where the Felmogs are, like where their thing is, and like knock on the door, like sorry, I'm late.
Speaker 2:Let's end it right there, pinhole you want to do XP or next time?
Speaker 1:Riley got like a billion XP yeah, I think I rescued Riley from danger at least once. Sorry so, yanni. Yanni live at the.
Speaker 2:Acropolis. I think I rescued Riley from danger at least once.
Speaker 1:Sorry, so Yanni. Yanni live at the Acropolis.
Speaker 2:That's true.
Speaker 1:Princess Funnybone's rat is named Penelope.
Speaker 3:I love it.
Speaker 2:That's a good name.
Speaker 3:Penelope, yeah, okay, yeah, did you complete a quest or objective?
Speaker 2:You got the spear, retrieved the spear yeah.
Speaker 3:Solve a problem creatively? I think so.
Speaker 1:Several times.
Speaker 3:Tree business and whatnot. Explore a new location. Forlorn fields, counter a new creature. Yes, chirrup and pumpkins.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 3:And pumpkins and a vampire, I don't know. Yeah, wego.
Speaker 2:Wego is the vampire who trained with us for a while. Cool, and there's also Castle Clangweir that we never followed up on in 1350.
Speaker 3:So that's, five XP.
Speaker 2:Sweet. And your ideals and flaws. Yeah, I did one ideal but no flaws, so I get.
Speaker 1:I did one, I did ideal. I went unconscious before I did my flaw.
Speaker 3:I feel like this is like really actioning. Didn't get too many many RP relationship moments. There was a little bit.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that was kind of just the bump in the road more than anything.
Speaker 3:Didn't have any lasting adjustments to our so Did you do an ideal in the?
Speaker 2:Plot did I rescued riley from danger? Yeah, but that's that's it. I didn't destroy anything indiscriminately should have destroyed the vampire I mean true, all right, cool um.
Speaker 3:All right, cool, I like it. I like it a lot. Good times that was completely unplanned.
Speaker 1:besides, what was in the sandbox, which was like yeah, it went awesomely.
Speaker 3:Didn't cover a lot of that, yeah.
Speaker 2:Beauty of the Sandy Boxie.
Speaker 1:It's like being able to use the Beamkin discovery in a creative way to the works was really fun. Yeah, playing it off everything makes it easy to kind of riff with fun. Yeah, playing it off everything makes it easy to kind of riff with quests yeah.
Speaker 2:And the ambient stuff like the rain and everything else. Yes, that was cool, yeah that was cool, Awesome.
Speaker 1:Well, thank you everybody for joining us in this week's episode of the Adventures of Riley and Gail in the Land of Eam stream Eam stream. If you want to check out the game, you can grab a copy at landofeamcom and also landofeamcom slash kickstarter to sign up for updates on the upcoming kickstarter as well as some behind the scenes looks at the layout stuff we're working on creatures, items, sandbox, it's all there Linking that right now.
Speaker 3:Thanks everybody for watching Princess Funnybone, for hanging out. We'll be back next week.
Speaker 1:Indeed.
Speaker 3:Or whatever comes for that Duel of Fates for that duel of fates. Duel of fates, alright, until next time. Take care everybody farewell.
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