Land of Eem: Actual Play
Join Ben Costa, James Parks, and George Higgins as they play the Land of Eem tabletop roleplaying game, inspired by the series of fantasy books: Dungeoneer Adventures and Rickety Stitch and the Gelatinous Goo.
Ben Costa and James Parks are the creators of Dungeoneer Adventures, Rickety Stitch and the Gelatinous Goo, and the tabletop roleplaying game, Land of Eem. They have been friends since the 2nd grade, and love making stuff together.
Lovers of fantasy, they strive to craft tales that celebrate the adventures of unlikely heroes. Ben and James grew up playing tabletop roleplaying games, creating countless characters and collaborative worlds with our pals, a pastime that paved the way for their creative careers, as authors and illustrators.
Land of Eem is a tabletop roleplaying published in partnership with indie game publisher, Exalted Funeral. and is about adventurers exploring and discovering the remnants of a forgotten better age. Described as The Lord of the Rings meets The Muppets, players portray lore-seeking travelers, fortune-seeking pioneers, and adventure-seeking heroes in a time devoid of them. But for all its post-apocalyptic doom and gloom, Land of Eem is tonally quite lighthearted and droll.
Dungeoneer Adventures is a fun, middle-grade fantasy adventure series from Simon & Schuster, about the only human kid attending the adventure school, Dungeoneer Academy. The books are packed with illustrations and available at Target, Barnes & Noble, and Amazon, or you can ask for them wherever books are sold.
Rickety Stitch and the Gelatinous Goo is a fun YA graphic novel series from Random House, about a skeleton bard and his best friend on an epic quest to discover who he was when he was alive. The books are available through Exalted Funeral or online at Amazon, and you can ask for them wherever books are sold.
For more visit:
https://landofeem.com
Land of Eem: Actual Play
Land of Eem: Fantasy Actual Play S03E07 | Gasp! The Nackadonkee Strangler
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Ever been stuck in a sticky mud trap during a rainstorm while trying to light a campfire? Join Ben Costa and James Parks—creators of Rickety Stitch and the Gelatinous Goo and Dungeoneer Adventures—with lead playtester and mad-science collaborator George Higgins, as they recount whimsical tales from the Land of Eem TTRPG, played in the Mucklands Campaign Sandbox Setting and published by Exalted Funeral.
This episode is filled with laughter and camaraderie as the team tackles the unpredictable and adventure-packed Mucklands. From a kobold encounter and unexpected reunions to the quest to recharge the legendary Dragon’s Bolt, the simplest tasks turn into epic escapades.
The stakes rise as mystery and mayhem unfold during their journey through the Dirtnap Dunes in pursuit of the notorious Nackadonkee Strangler. Facing desert ambushes and fierce battles against wargs, the team’s creativity and teamwork are put to the test. Along the way, they encounter a gelatinous goo named Jert (shoutout to our pal Jert!) and navigate strained familial dynamics, proving that humor is sometimes the best weapon in the face of challenges.
From clever snare traps and hang glider strategies to thrilling captures and potential promotions, the adventure is brimming with high-stakes decisions and comical mishaps. With Halloween-themed adventure ideas and invitations to explore the Land of Eem, this episode is packed with excitement, creativity, and the joyous spirit of discovery that defines their journey.
Perfect for fans of Fantasy Actual Play, Collaborative Storytelling RPGs, Rules-Light Indie RPGs, and the dynamic TTRPG community, this episode blends humor, strategy, and friendship into an unforgettable experience.
Download the Land of Eem Quickstart Guide for FREE, and join the adventure today!
https://linktr.ee/landofeem
Hey, hi, hey guys, welcome back to the Land of Eam. We have been gone for two weeks. What's?
Speaker 2:up Princess Funnybone. Hey, princess Funnybone, thanks for joining us.
Speaker 1:Yeah, thank you for joining us. We were away on vacay and now we're back, ready to jump into the Land of Eam. You know it, I'm excited. Yeah, I guess, excited, yeah.
Speaker 2:I guess we should recap what happened three weeks ago.
Speaker 1:Previously on. Previously on I can't remember. I will recap. We actually just discussed it minutes ago, but I can honestly say I also don't remember which is why we have Georgie. So all I remember is Countess slash, Baroness Kasadar. We chatted with her because we were trying what was it? Obviously we were late to our duel right, so that was like the whole onus for the rest of the adventure we're late to the duel.
Speaker 1:we show up the cultural honor of the film log operators Exactly so we seek Baroness Cassadar for something or other and I think we find out that was it from her that we're going to go to the stone to recharge the weapon. There's a stone out in the Northwest, yeah. I think, we of the used to be for it.
Speaker 2:We pleaded to her that, if that, we pleaded to her that we were late because we were trying to, you know, because it was ridiculous that I was going to fight Elnar, because I can't win, you're also like wounded or something.
Speaker 1:I was terribly wounded and used charm and intimidate or something. I forget how we survived that, but um, yeah.
Speaker 2:So Baroness Kazdar said that, uh, you could go to the stone and try to um restore the magic of the dragon's bolt and because we we used it all fighting pumpkins.
Speaker 1:It was totally.
Speaker 2:All mog outriders would stand down, but she can't guarantee her safety on the trip there.
Speaker 1:We also dealt with the Navarat problem at the wharf we did. Miraculously, actually because of your magical item, the kobold whistle was. Ben could have picked any creature to be controlling those guys and he picked a kobold. I didn. Ben could have picked any creature to be controlling those guys and he picked a kobold.
Speaker 2:I didn't pick it, dude, I don't pick anything really it's in the sandbox. We're just using the sandbox, as is for the most part.
Speaker 1:Actually this entire stream is a testament to the sandbox, like the Mucklin sandbox setting, because we actually don't prepare. It's just all there for Ben to just pull from. That's kind of the point. We wanted to create a really accessible, easy to use GM tool. So when you run your own games you're kind of ready to roll.
Speaker 2:For instance, today I spent literally zero time preparing. Sometimes I'll spend five to ten minutes, but five to ten minutes yeah, you're letting everyone know how the sausage is made, you know well, I mean it's true, though, yeah gms always say that they're spending like hours and hours, and hours I don't really have time for that. I'd rather spend that time like on the sandbox, you know yeah, adding more random encounters and stuff.
Speaker 1:yeah, princess, funny bone says the best saint castles come from the sandbox. That is true. They never get washed away either, unless that's my sandbox attacked by errant joggers. Wow, errant joggers, dangle errant joggers. So we dealt with that and I think we just need to rest up. I believe we can stay with the family who I use my ability to kind of get them to help us. Oh, that's right. Yeah, because I'm a hero of the people now.
Speaker 2:So yeah, meeker accommodations. Oh, that's right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because I'm a hero of the people now.
Speaker 2:So peasants always offer, because they offer meager accommodations.
Speaker 1:They'll offer shelter, food and basic supplies. But I think we did enhance the the cookery.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because they're like peasants, felt bad about eating all their food they just like watch us eat a goose and shivering hungry hungry oh man thanks so much, it's so good.
Speaker 1:Whoa, what if we talk like that the whole time? Oh hey, what's going on? I sound like a radio DJ. Wow, I need to.
Speaker 2:I think you know it's been three weeks in real time. Just say that you guys are healed up.
Speaker 1:Oh yes, here are the people. Who is also Prince of the Land of Stench, if I recall. Thank you, princess Funnybone for remembering all these little things I forgot about, the Prince of Stench, that's great, yeah, oh Lord, I am still stinky. Did we say we were going to try to stop by Char the Chickenfoot Witch on the way up?
Speaker 2:Yes, I believe. So I feel like that's a possibility. It's kind of on the way.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I mean you could go to Beezleberf and pay more cash. I think it's been however long we said.
Speaker 1:Mm-hmm, Three weeks, Right. I mean Right. We have like one, one X value of ancient coins and one X value of gold coins.
Speaker 2:So I mean it's like and they're on, because I have nothing written down. Oh, it's all good.
Speaker 1:Oh wait, no, I don't. I don't know. I feel like char, I can cure it. What rations wise. I still have one salted meats that I've miraculously, like, not rolled away. Yeah, yeah, we've got three on my sheet in an akedonkey Akedonkey tube steak. Come on.
Speaker 2:How's that inventory looking George?
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's pretty rough. Ben Not gonna lie, it's pretty rough.
Speaker 2:Did you figure it out?
Speaker 1:Well, we calculated it out Well we calculated it out. I don't know that we solved anything I need to recalc mine, but I'm pretty sure I'm under.
Speaker 2:George was way over. I can just glance at this and see that I'm under, so if you need me to carry stuff, George, you're 20 over. Yeah, I need to give you.
Speaker 1:Up until stuff. George, You're 20 over. Yeah, I need to give you. Yeah, I, Up until I get caught. You know, you just gotta push the limits. Oh man, Poor FB is collapsing under the weight. I need to give you all the elemental components Two, three.
Speaker 2:Yeah, give James all the components that his mule can carry. It's 10 slots there, we can do this off the stream.
Speaker 1:I don't think we need a manager.
Speaker 2:No, no, we do it now no it's fine.
Speaker 1:It's fine, that'll.
Speaker 2:Just assume I'm carrying the other half.
Speaker 1:Let's see, I got one, two, three, four, five, six, seven.
Speaker 2:There's the other option, james, of your home and hearth, that is true, where you can keep stuff.
Speaker 1:I have it sorted out. I know what needs to happen now. So the components all need to go to James, and then I have one, two, three, four, five, six items that need to just get traded or sold. I probably have some stuff I could trade as well. We could trade for rations, or I wish there was a better. There's not really a system to sell, because this is just old junk. This is not like a new ball and chain or a new machete. Wow, I'm going to go to the outskirts of town and just create our own horde. I'm just going to jiggle For the next adventurers to find Right.
Speaker 2:Um I.
Speaker 1:Jeez, I mean I could home and hearth like this family's theoretically fine, I'm cool with that and we could just leave some stuff behind. I'm gonna leave behind yeah, I'm gonna leave behind everything except for the gilded Broadsword and the Gilded Dagger from my Want to Sell, want to Trade list, and that'll put me right at cap. I'm going to leave behind the Sling and the Shortsword.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you could break down those junk items into materials if you want.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you want to do that instead. These are the junk items that we need to break down those junk items into materials, if you want. Yeah, you want to do that instead. These are the junk items that we need to break down.
Speaker 2:Yeah, a ball and chain could be useful.
Speaker 1:An old ball and chain baby yeah, I'm sure that Princess Funnybone says too bad, the bog roll merchant isn't around. I'm sure he'd take anything. Yeah, take anything. Yeah, you know what we could do is. It's like a 1 in 100 chance we could roll him as an encounter right.
Speaker 2:He's in the game. Yeah, go for it. See what happens. Roll it.
Speaker 1:See what happens, see what happens. If we go to 1510, which is near the stump, we can visit the log cabin with a cricket banner that appears to be an outpost of sorts with the yek. I think that was the guy who sold us the flying potion the flinderkin, the flinderkin. Why did I say oh yek must be his name. Yes, a moth creature.
Speaker 2:Yeah, flinderkin um cool all right, so you do that, or you can break it down into yes, let's break it all down okay go for it gives you um a number of materials equal to the uh item slots.
Speaker 1:Okay, two, four, six, eight, nine, nine materials, materials. I don't have a pencil.
Speaker 2:Materials. All right, let's get this started. Let's get on the road, get some action happening.
Speaker 1:Let's get some tough acting. Connecting. That's the us yelling material as we ride out of town. We're rested up. Can we just say that we rest here until we're full of hit points, Ben?
Speaker 2:Yeah, we'll say, you guys have laid low for several days.
Speaker 1:I think that's the best thing we could possibly do in this situation. So I'm back to 23 out of 23. We thank the family for the hospitality and we give the kids nookies, naturally, and we'll hop on the back of FB and start hauling out of town.
Speaker 2:Alright, George, make a travel check.
Speaker 1:Head north. Can we share with the stream where we're headed? We're headed north. I believe it is Northwest. I think it's around here somewhere by the stump. No, with the stream where we're headed. We're headed north. Uh, I believe it is northwest. Yeah, I think it's around here somewhere by the stump.
Speaker 2:No, no no, I say it's here you want to say it's there I don't think we made this anything and uh oh okay yeah, we didn't physically put the stone on the map, yet I see.
Speaker 1:So then we're right there. I think that, in terms of direction we should head.
Speaker 2:Let's head up one and then over one.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we'll go over the black rail, so that's a 13, ben.
Speaker 2:Oh wow, nice, You're pretty cool, huh.
Speaker 1:Yeah, the Scooby Airto perhaps. All right, god's of Eam will be with us and we'll have one of those quests where it goes nicely 57.
Speaker 2:57.
Speaker 1:Seven 57 minutes in heaven.
Speaker 2:Wow, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, okay, uh, okay, a procession of a hundred boggarts. Wow, brightly colored clothing and, uh, they're marching to munch to show their support for the old king and the old ways of the bog swain nice. Wayne Nice, you hear their shouting and merrymaking and they're like kind of saying, put a pox on the goblin tycoons and industrialists of the dungeon era.
Speaker 1:I get really caught up in it and I somehow, like before I know it, I'm in line with them on the back of FB. They're like haphazard marching band music and I somehow, like before I know it, I'm in line with them on the back of FB and there's some like haphazard, like marching band music.
Speaker 2:It makes me think of, like the old Disney Robin Hood, a pox on the phony king of the parklands. I mean that's yeah.
Speaker 1:that's exactly where I was going with that, banging tambourines, waving little homemade flags ah, so you support the cuz heck, yeah pox on that guy ah, do you?
Speaker 2:uh, he jiggles, he rattles a cup. Do you support the cuz?
Speaker 1:hmm, I uh, I drop a copper pouch in.
Speaker 2:Oh, I mean that'll mean that you let go of the copper pouch forever. I understand.
Speaker 1:I accept this, the full copper pouch.
Speaker 2:We really support it.
Speaker 1:We hope to get a duffel bag after we come back. You guys got any stickers or anything? We got a tote. I'm after we can. Yeah. Yeah, you guys got any like stickers or anything?
Speaker 2:or like, uh, like a tote.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm looking for like a tote or a hoodie. Uh, hoodie yeah.
Speaker 2:I want to reuse a little box swing. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, we've printed up, uh, some bumper stickers and Beasle birth. Slight one on the that's not going to get us into combat in the future. Hey, I hate your bunk swing or bust. Yeah, you get box swing or bust and a pox on the phone. A king of a fleabag, I love this.
Speaker 1:That's perfect. That was a fun little encounter. We got some swag out of it. Is swag really an acronym for stuff we all get? I don't know. I've never thought about this harder than I'm thinking about it at this moment. It says 4FB. They got so much on their shell, it's true. It's true. Not the canoe anymore. Yeah, we got rid of the canoe. Now she just is hauling all our other junk. Poor thing. It's okay. She's my loyal steed. I brush her every day and polish her shell.
Speaker 2:So the person you're talking to is Zeke Keen.
Speaker 1:Keen and Ivory. Zeke Keen, keen and Ivory.
Speaker 2:Zeke. Wow, he's Boggart and he calls himself a poet.
Speaker 1:That's super fitting. So this is a poet in quotes, I take it. I understand.
Speaker 2:He's chewing on a chicken bone and he says, hey, if you ever come down to munch, look me up, got a lot of things going on.
Speaker 1:Will do. Yeah, good luck with your little procession there. We wish you the best.
Speaker 2:Thank you, kind sir and kind ma' there. We wish you the best.
Speaker 1:Thank you kind sir and kind ma'am. We're not a thing. I glare at Zona. I glare at Zona.
Speaker 2:I would never suppose.
Speaker 1:Now he's making it more awkward by saying things like you're not a thing. He's calling attention to it when he does not have to.
Speaker 2:I take it back. I don't feed the cabbage to FBA I throw it at Sonam.
Speaker 1:I love it. With that, we ride on. James, it's your turn to make a realms check. Here we go, bernard Eight.
Speaker 2:True, that would never stop Zona.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's true, zona is a Riley and Galen stand.
Speaker 2:That is an eight. That is a bump in the road Bump bump, bump in the road. I'm going to move us towards the 32.14. You run afoul of bad weather.
Speaker 1:The wagon gets stuck in the mud After a sudden downpour, and now we're using I'll use the helm of trickery to like shovel mud out of the way.
Speaker 2:you only succeed in getting us deeper in the mud you've um, yeah, it's pouring rain as you guys settle in for the night. Your next check tomorrow we'll have disadvantage.
Speaker 1:It's super frustrating because we can see the bridge. We're like 100 yards from it, but yeah but our wheels are just like. We'll lash FB. And what was your donkey's name? Again Jake, from State Farm Lucas.
Speaker 2:Wow, lucas. Yeah, jake from State Farm. What was the donkey's name? You're from State Farm. Was the donkey's name you're from State Farm, right?
Speaker 1:like a good neighbor. Your donkey is there. The first gnome we encounter who can speak with animals will say that the donkey immediately says his name is Jake from State.
Speaker 2:Farm.
Speaker 1:I don't know why you always call me Lucas, you know.
Speaker 2:I gave him my car when we first met we'll pull up to the.
Speaker 1:We'll kind of set in where we are for the night and um pitch camp. I will, oh you know what? Yeah, I think I can. Can I hunt, or is that james's deal? You could yeah, a wilderness. I broke down. Oh, my ranged ability. So I'd be hunting with a halberd, which I don't think is worth it. I mean, you can throw it at him. Hunting with a full arm is that's kind of a funny idea.
Speaker 2:It's a four-bet you don't need to explicitly have.
Speaker 1:No, no, no. Riley is poorly equipped for hunting. I don't want her to come along. Riley is too busy trying to get the fire going because it's still raining and it's a mess. She's got a half covered with a little lean-to.
Speaker 2:Well, the only reason he comes home soaking wet with nothing to show.
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh man. And the fire's not even started and we fight immediately. This is all your fault. I don't control the weather. It's a miserable, miserable evening. Can't you tinker some kind of fire starter? What happened to that lizard?
Speaker 2:Where's Claudia? Aren't you some sort of prodigy?
Speaker 1:I'm sorry, who's talking?
Speaker 2:Fire starter Princess.
Speaker 1:Funny One says just throw a rock at the nearest edible creature, and that'll do it. It always does it, always does yeah.
Speaker 2:Oh no, take my hand.
Speaker 1:Show bears' fangs at us, and kiss us.
Speaker 2:Do you only have one ration left? Is that the problem?
Speaker 1:I have one ration. No, I just didn't want to use it up. I feel like I fail to hunt or gather every time we camp.
Speaker 2:I can roll for it.
Speaker 1:I can roll for the ration. I've got one. Three Cool. I have a fair amount of rations. Still Salted meals. You'll both have to roll for rations. You'll I have. I have a fair amount of rations still salted meals.
Speaker 2:Both have to roll for rations.
Speaker 1:You'll both have to roll for rations. I'm going to try to eat just a regular ration. I eat it. Actually I don't eat it. The jar of fireflies and the freaking Claudia immediately attacked me. When I pull out the ration In the scuffle I am knocked down and they run away with it and greedily share the ration to themselves. I don't know how a jar of fireflies runs away, but yeah, you're in the middle of making spaghetti or whatever, and you drop the jar and the lid pops off and rolls through and the fireflies come out, they eat all the marinara.
Speaker 1:Yeah, all the marinara, all the marinara. The jar of fireflies takes on a red hue. What was you going to say, Ben?
Speaker 2:I was going to say are there any stories you want to tell around the fire on this rainy night?
Speaker 1:Well, you know, I'm kind of interested in the history of what was called the Dragon's bolt like you know, this is a lot of trouble to go through for for this thing, and no kidding, it's real powerful. I wonder where it comes from. I uh immediately wake up. Phylo sim. Oh, is it a once per adventure thing? I always forget it is right. Yeah, yeah, all right. I I think about it and then I roll my own Lord check instead and I say, well, riley, funny story about the dragon bolt, wow, 13.
Speaker 2:Um, I was talking to file a SIM. Yeah, yeah, um, all right. You've heard some wild stories about the Dragon's Bolt. You suspect that they're probably overblown. One of them is that the family of Sarah Alnar, or Cloven Tongue, the family of Sarah Elnar, who are Cloven Tongue, they actually created the canyons of Pym.
Speaker 1:Oh, wow.
Speaker 2:That's like a big, grand canyony type of geographic feature. It's like massive yeah, you get particles from there. You suspect that is false type of geographic feature. To the north it's like massive with a giant ridge. You suspect that is false. But it's like their claim among the houses. No one believes them.
Speaker 1:Which makes them angrier. Galen embellishes by saying that he's heard tale of the cloven tongue families. Like they get their cloven tongue from trying to lick the tip of the dragon's bolt and it cuts their tongue. It's a weird ritual they have. I just like stick my tongue out a little bit at it thinking about it and like, oh ooh, that's grim.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:But it is a magnificent weapon.
Speaker 2:Another story that you've heard of the Dragon's Bolt is that it's actually. It was forged from the magic of a dragon named Skarn.
Speaker 1:Skarn the dragon.
Speaker 2:Skarn, the dragon Skarn, who centuries ago, like thousands of years ago, ruled an area in Felmog.
Speaker 1:Can you imagine a dragon ruling a kingdom thousands of years ago? Yeah, I say I'm pretty sure we could take that a dragon rolling a kingdom thousands of years ago. Yeah, I say I'm pretty sure we could take that dragon, based on our previous experiences with Shane Shander, I mean.
Speaker 2:I roll my eyes. We basically did that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't know. I bet we could get Shane to go after this one too. That I don't doubt. Shane was was hardcore in making a name for himself Shane.
Speaker 2:Something else. I mean you rolled a very high lore check Using all my good rolls up front, unfortunately. Halnar the Red. He's kind of, he's a failure in the eyes of his family. Like you know, his predecessors, who wielded this mighty weapon, were much more worthy and he's kind of, like you know, a petulant Child in a way.
Speaker 1:Take down all the dragons. We know he's mean, he's got a temper. Yeah, I agree with Princess Funnybone, we should change this into a dragon hunting quest.
Speaker 2:You don't have your old pal Shane Shandar, and the dragon's bolt has no magical energy anymore.
Speaker 1:I look at Ryland and I say the power has been inside you the whole time.
Speaker 2:It hasn't no, okay.
Speaker 1:I just hear people say that, and sometimes it works. I'm worried enough about Halnar. Yeah, with that last thought of being worried about Helnar, I think Galen settles into a fitful sleep.
Speaker 2:You fall asleep to the pattering of rain and wake up the next morning without incident. And the rain is even harder today. There's giant puddles and mud everywhere. Yeah, um, so you'll have disadvantage on this.
Speaker 1:Check here, let's say riley, the black rule, she's flooding. And then I make our, our travel check. Now they're both mediocre, but they're both above six. It's an eight or a seven. So seven is going to be a realms check.
Speaker 2:All right, roll a d6.
Speaker 1:So hard not to say something after d6. Three, oh boy, princess Bunny, when you're right, it would be awesome to make friends with them instead. Dragons, dragons. We all know that Riley is actually part dragon. That's not true.
Speaker 2:She wishes it was, though.
Speaker 1:Yeah, then she could possibly fly. That's all she's ever wanted.
Speaker 2:I believe I can fly alright, you guys are exhausted, take three, three dread is this considered combat versus the elements?
Speaker 1:temporary HP combat.
Speaker 2:Combat versus the elements swinging his red combat versus the elements Swinging his red axe at the sky. Come on, fight me.
Speaker 1:Quick, you're raining. Should we bother going to the crack or just head straight up north to the thingy? Maybe we can hit the crack on the way back. I don't know if that's going to be an issue anytime soon.
Speaker 2:That's a big detour as I look at it, although the Durnap Dunes are dangerous, and if you're going to the crack, you might as well go to Krogland and spend a day, you know? Yeah, it's like blow a day at Krogland have a blast.
Speaker 1:Do we still have Krogland? I think we gave them away to somebody as a thank you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we gave them away, that'll be the last thing we ever do Is go back to Crogland, because I think that's where we came from In our first quest.
Speaker 1:We came from Crogland Well what's going to be great is We'll be at Crogland, we'll have a great day and then we'll get mauled by the werewolf. It's like running between Crogland andwolf. The werewolf that haunts the roads between SPL and Portland.
Speaker 2:No one's taking care of him. He's still out there. We barely escaped it.
Speaker 1:That's hilarious. I've moved us, james. It's your turn. Alright, rolling a d12.
Speaker 2:Okay, 12.
Speaker 1:Keep away from the cotton candy. Indeed, that's true, I was sick on cotton candy.
Speaker 2:Okay, that's a discovery, so roll a D100.
Speaker 1:54. 54. Come on.
Speaker 2:Hahahaha, hahahaha, hahahaha, hahahaha, hahahaha, hahahaha, hahahaha, hahahaha, hahahaha, hahahaha, hahahaha, hahahaha, hahahaha, hahahaha, hahahaha, hahahaha, hahahaha, hahahaha, hahahaha, hahahaha, hahahaha, hahahaha. Hilarious. You cross paths with your old pal the gelatinous goo that's amazing.
Speaker 1:That's amazing. Wait did I write this is?
Speaker 2:it Mitch or Jert Jert. Mitch went with Jert to Dungeoneer Academy.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they went to go enroll in Dungeoneer Academy I say Jert, jirt. I think Mitch went with Jirt.
Speaker 2:Mitch went with Jirt.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they went to go enroll in Dungeoneer Academy. I say, Jirt, did you guys get to Dungeoneer Academy? Okay?
Speaker 2:He speaks in gelatinous gooey's and he says yes, but he failed. He failed out of Dungeoneer Academy. He failed the final gauntlet.
Speaker 1:Mitchoneer academy he failed the final gauntlet does that mean he's just like jelly on the wall or something?
Speaker 2:he doesn't get his junior dungeoneer badge that's so mitch is uh passing with flying colors though wow so.
Speaker 1:So, jerk, like I see, I love that that Mitch made it. That's amazing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he's a junior Dungeoneer.
Speaker 1:So where's he headed? Where are you headed, mitch? I mean jerk.
Speaker 2:Jerk oh, you know, just headed back to the crack.
Speaker 1:Well, I'm sure there's plenty to do at the crack. Yeah, you know, say hien and and the giant rock golem.
Speaker 2:yeah, and char well, I mean, I feel like. I feel like it's the fates we're running into each other again. I I might as well just join you for a while, sure yeah, we're headed up to the stone.
Speaker 1:if you don't mind mingling with some Felmog Outriders for a while, we're sort of on a quest. Yeah, I add him back to the party rule sheet.
Speaker 2:I hear there's some fine jewels and stones up that way. Yeah, I say.
Speaker 1:I say you are an accomplished rare metal finder, my friend. Perhaps you can help us find rare metals. Yeah, maybe we can make a little bit of cash up there. Yeah, maybe that's your true calling Treasure hunter.
Speaker 2:A miner. A miner Gem sniffer.
Speaker 1:Keep the goo. I reached down to pat Jert's head, but I don't understand how to do it. It's like no hair to tussle. There's no head to really pat. I just kind of shrug and say come along, buddy.
Speaker 2:It's pretty clear.
Speaker 1:Just got like literally yeah literally, but like when I put my hand in. I just I worry, am I going to touch his brain? Like, is it? Is he all brain? What does it mean?
Speaker 2:I don't think he has everything and nothing, all the same, yeah he's.
Speaker 1:He's a modern marvel so profound, I say well, jert, glad to have you aboard. Yeah, he's a modern marvel of nature, so profound, can I say Weldjert glad to have you aboard, glad to be here. Okay, yeah go ahead. I was a little depressed after, you know not making the cut. Well, maybe it just wasn't your calling, you know and I will give him a hug. Yeah, we hear the disembodied voice of princess funny bone and we give him a group hug.
Speaker 2:Something speaks to.
Speaker 1:Galen, we, we squeeze him so hard that he kind of like goops out.
Speaker 2:All right, and then it's just uh that's right.
Speaker 1:Okay, here we go. It ends up being just Riley and Galen hugging because he slips out, and then Zona riding furiously. We're just like it's not up.
Speaker 2:It's amazing.
Speaker 1:Is it time to set up camp already? Is that two legs?
Speaker 2:It's two legs man.
Speaker 1:Alright. So when we set up camp I'm going to tell Galen hey man, so the dirt nap dunes are no joke. Should we consider going around, or do we?
Speaker 2:want to so.
Speaker 1:Galen having taken down a dragon, yeah, and thinking back to Olgos thinking, oh geez, I snoozed. Thinking back to olgos thinking, um, oh sorry, hold on. Oh geez, I snoozed, uh. Thinking back to olgos I don't know, I don't know if galen is going to be like overly confident or not, but we are wanted criminals according to the other wargs.
Speaker 2:They didn't put up wanted posters with our faces on them and you still have that scar you guys, you do get an uneasy feeling, uh settling down here, as soon as we get. We're like on the edge of the dirt yeah exactly but you know you're, you're in kind of like, uh, the bermuda triangle of um, you know crogland and spl and uh, turf, oh yeah, yeah, it's uh, you know crogland and spl and turf. Oh yeah, yeah, it's uh, you know and plus the thing you know felmog knights are possibly after you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, possibly, but you know it's possible, it's possible. It's possible. I mean we could make a mad dash we could head towards I think we should still just camp here for the night we could head towards SPL and kind of bypass the Dirt Nap Dunes for the most part, stick to the edge of it.
Speaker 2:Dropping at Wally's.
Speaker 1:Yeah, have a waffle.
Speaker 2:Have a waffle, I love it, let's go to Wally's Could have got a waffle at a waffle. I love it. Let's go to Wally's.
Speaker 1:Could have got a waffle at Wally's great half price soft serve vanilla. You know what I mean. Only at Wally's that's not vanilla, they got a brand new desert shrimp gumbo bar.
Speaker 2:You know, it's just beetles with all the fixings Desert shrimp.
Speaker 1:You got a lobster bisque. It's just scorpions.
Speaker 2:Nacho cheese sprinkles.
Speaker 1:I love it, cheesy desert shrimp.
Speaker 2:All right. Yeah, you know you hear some howling in the distance, but it seems like really far away and otherwise it's kind of an eerie, cold night on the plains.
Speaker 1:Riley, stop, it Can't sleep when you make the wind noises.
Speaker 2:Let me ask you are there any pointed?
Speaker 1:questions that you want to ask each other or any stories from your past that you would like to relate. Let's see I could start. Say Riley, you know being late to that duel, you got to really work on that, you know. Oh wow, you were being dogged by a gang of evil pumpkins.
Speaker 2:Yeah, what was I supposed to do? We were trying to do the right thing, and bring him this, this spear.
Speaker 1:I mean it reflects poorly on us, like now Zona is going to write about that in the article Right, that we were late and then we have no punches. He pulls no punches. He pulls no punches, this mushroom punches.
Speaker 1:He pulls no, he pulls no punches this, this mushroom, you know, I just I, I think we're getting big enough to where we got to start worrying about our uh, professional images. I mean, what do you expect me to do? Go fisticuffs with a filmog outrider? Look at me, I'm three feet tall. I, I, I don't know. I don't have the right answer, but I mean, it's just like when we were kids, like every time I was, hey, you want to hang out? And you'd be like, yeah, I'll meet you at noon, and it would be dusk. And then you'd come rolling in like you know eating I don't know whatever you like to eat, like a Nacadonkey tube steak or something. Maybe if they'd kiss he'd forget about them being like no, that's yeah no, no, no.
Speaker 2:Jerk immediately begins questioning whether he should have joined us as we like quibble no, no. What do you have to say for yourself? Mom and dad are fighting.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, I'm just. I mean, it's just who you are. You're always kind of a little bit late, you know. Well, you know that that may be true. I'm not going to push back too much on that. We are late, especially if we're going to deal with the Sarpathy. I mean, we're way out in the middle of the desert, we're right next to the Dirtnap Dunes and we know we've got to get to Scalawag Strand, but we just keep, you know, getting into trouble. Yeah, I'm beginning to think that we can't solve every problem in this world by ourselves. We're trying really hard, but I guess maybe I'm just worried that we'll be late to solving the threat and galen makes a epiphany that he's already had weeks ago it's true.
Speaker 1:Uh, what's he called um zona actually shows us the article where he wrote about galen's previous epiphany, about worrying that he's gonna be too late to everything and that's all every problem. Yeah, we can't solve every problem it was an issue 45 oh, that's a good issue. I tilt the magazine and open the centerfold, which is Shane Shandar standing there with an axe on his shoulder, looking really cool. I'm like, oh yeah, this is a really good picture.
Speaker 2:It was a Dungeoneer Magazine annual.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's like a double issue, it's like 45 pages.
Speaker 2:Hey, egg Animates how you doing.
Speaker 1:No worries.
Speaker 2:Welcome. They are just adventuring across the map.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I still smell bad. Yep, king of Stench Prince Prince, one day I'll be King Stench, or maybe just Lord Stench. Thunderblade, lord Stench.
Speaker 2:Lord Stench Approaches. Cover your noses. It's probably a thode named Lord Stench in the Quagmire.
Speaker 1:There should be. It's canon. Alright Riley is a little upset and she has an unrestful sleep because she knows Galen's right deep down but doesn't want to. But at the same time she's angry because she didn't mean to bump into a guy who is mean.
Speaker 1:And I think the whole thing was probably just a huge mistake, but she wants to do the right thing and get it solved so that they don't have the fell mugs dogging us the whole way. Yeah, I think galen also has a poor sleep. He feels bad calling out right like that because he realizes ultimately it's just his own trepidation about, you know, not being able to to solve every problem and that we keep finding more problems and and he's feeling overwhelmed by it. Yeah, and I think both Galen and Riley just feel the weight of all of the Mucklins problems on them and are wondering if there are any other heroes in the Mucklins doing the, doing the good things, fighting. Yeah, are we isolated? Like, where? Where are the other? Um, oh my God, what am I? The helmet, I the helmet, the helmet, bulwark, bulwarks. Yeah, where have all the other bulwarks gone?
Speaker 2:well, you know that the haunting tolkien poem.
Speaker 1:Yeah, where is the horse and the rider?
Speaker 2:you know that the bulwarks mainly stick to this swath of land.
Speaker 1:Maybe we'll bump into a couple getting some coffee at Wally's Remind me how much healing is for rations. I can roll d10 for us both oh thank you, that is supposed to be non-rations.
Speaker 2:Oh, that's non-rations. Oh, that's non-rations. Yeah, that's the fresh food.
Speaker 1:But rations allow us to heal a certain amount, right Like our level.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's normally a d6. Just a d6.
Speaker 1:I heal six. It's a nutritious ration. Yes, I'm full.
Speaker 2:But you're supposed to roll twice, to take the worst because of your exhaustion.
Speaker 1:Yes, roll, the worst still Roll two fours, that's good.
Speaker 1:That's fine, wonderful. Riley looks well rested. I bite into the ration thinking it's going to be awesome, and then I catch like a a grungy bit and I had to spit it out and I just like lose my appetite. Sand, my salted meats were just great. They really hit the spot and I ended up not breasting. I ended up resting pretty well. I had dreams about being back at the firefly festival. Oh yeah, that was fun. Um, I've moved us. Uh, oh yeah, that was fun. I've moved us. I rolled a 4. Sorry, I move us back. Oh dear.
Speaker 2:You rolled a 4.
Speaker 1:Anyway, right here.
Speaker 2:I mean you could still move, but it's a dangerous encounter, so I'll roll a 100. Here we go 62.
Speaker 1:62. 62.
Speaker 2:You come upon a trio of bulwarks. They say oh brother.
Speaker 1:I look around, oh yeah hey, hey, hey, hey old fellow bulwarks, how goes it in the defending against bandits and thieves and goons and such?
Speaker 2:ah, we're searching for a murderer, a wanted man. Have you seen him, uh?
Speaker 1:we've uh. Who are they? I look at A wanted man. Have you seen him? Who are they? I look at Jirt.
Speaker 2:You ever heard of the Nacadonkey Strangler?
Speaker 1:Nacadonkey Strangler. No, we haven't. Amazing, I say what does?
Speaker 2:he do stab people, no, strangles, them that's horrible.
Speaker 1:That is horrible. Where were they last seen?
Speaker 2:we've sort of traveled all over the mucklins. Originally, you know, reports came from the Nacadonkey Bayou, sure heard originally, you know reports came from the Nacadonkey Bayou Sure. Then we heard someone killing people in the used-to-be forest with the same MO and we went all the way to the river country and back here we're starving and out of rations and we've lost our lead. Well, maybe we can whip you up something?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't know if we have enough rations for everyone. I have enough rations for. Yeah, I mean we'll just have to refuel at Wally's, I think. Can I use I for Clues to?
Speaker 1:identify a clue for them to hunt down the Strangler. Yeah, it turns out one of to hunt down the strangler. Yeah, it turns out one of them is the strangler. Whoa. Oh man, it's like a piece of paint on a wire hanging off. Yeah, actually, I was going to say like there's like a crumpled but like half broken piece of piano wire. That's like on a little I don't know, like on on an outcrop of rocks. That's like glinting in the sun and it looks like. It's like was dropped, with someone going into the dirt nap dunes. Oh nice, I see, I see where you're going with this. Cool, let's see there it goes. Sorry, it wasn't rolling, that is a 10. Nice, I don't know if this is a clue or not. It looks like whoever dropped it is headed into the Dirtnet.
Speaker 2:Dunes. I'm going to say that this, this requires you to like travel with them for a bit. I was going to suggest we help.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think that Galen would also be on board for that, but I didn't want to go into the dirt app dunes without a little bit of backup.
Speaker 2:I know right yeah.
Speaker 1:I say well, friends, it's you find a skeleton pick clean clearly the murder was eaten by wards. Case solved um justice has been done. This is gonna get real messy real fast. I kind of see where this is going, but I'm on board, let's uh do you see where I hear it's going, Cause I don't. I have. I have a bad feeling. I have a. I have a bad feeling that I'm not going to suggest what I think.
Speaker 1:George has foreseen, the party wipe as we attempt to go into the dirt. Yeah, it's one of the most dangerous places All of you used to be for us. Uh, we, we turned turn to them and say, yeah, well, I mean, if you need an extra set of hands or extra nose for tracking, we're certainly capable of helping you out. I wouldn't turn down a fellow bulwark at a time of need.
Speaker 2:Good, that is good it is good. You go with them and Riley, this is when you find this clue.
Speaker 1:I'll pull an Aragorn and look at the ground and try to determine like huh, it's like this way. No, she's using her strider vision.
Speaker 2:Strider vision. So you come back with this like blood-caked piano wire.
Speaker 1:Galen looks at it and says someone really needs to start flossing more often. Look how much blood came out when they used that. That's big floss, Troll floss, yeah, troll floss. They use piano wire.
Speaker 2:The bulwarks say oh, it was good eyes, son, those good eyes on you Shrimp.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's either troll floss or the strangler. Their heads just popped off like corks.
Speaker 2:Wow, the only troll I know around here is Sven.
Speaker 1:I love that guy. Yeah, it couldn't have been Sven. He's a nice guy. Yeah, he's over at the crack.
Speaker 2:The strangler must be around here somewhere.
Speaker 1:Blood is fresh, freshly, strangled Freshly strangled.
Speaker 2:Make another travel check at disadvantage.
Speaker 1:I think it's your turn, Riley.
Speaker 2:Okay, not bad that's a 7, 8. That's not too bad, alright, t6.
Speaker 1:We find this triangular, but not before he finds us immediately takes out three of the bulwarks you've made a wrong turn and got lost oh, every time we go in the dirt and have dunes every time that's exactly what happens no, no, no, no, no. I mean it's like that's why we got so caught up in the dirt and have dunes.
Speaker 2:We couldn't get out it's like a dust storm pops up and we're like all turned around.
Speaker 1:It's just like shouting at each other, like we can barely see 10 feet in front of us. Riley, grab my hand. Galen, where are you? Like in the distance in the sandstorm, we hear uh as uh, one of the bulwarks gets strangled.
Speaker 2:Guy's like a predator. Yeah, I kind of love that. Yeah, galen, I'm going to pull the GM strings here and say that you just you move deeper into the dunes, that's fine, yeah.
Speaker 1:You can move as Ben the GM strings here and say that you just you move deeper into the dunes, that's fine, yeah, you can move and spin, I did.
Speaker 2:Pick a direction. Oh, you did Okay.
Speaker 1:And yeah, stay by my side.
Speaker 2:One of the, just as you said, one of the guards, one of the bulwarks gets picked off.
Speaker 1:So there's a tortoise there without a rider. Oh uh, is this like we notice it after the storm kind of clears like the tortoise without a rider yeah, it's not.
Speaker 2:It. It's sort of like it is like Predator, just like one moment.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:And then some chaos. He's gone, yeah.
Speaker 1:I say guys, your friend, oh, when did he go? We got to circle the tortoises. Defensive formation Hooch is gone.
Speaker 2:Hooch Hooch Hooch is gone. Hooch Hooch no.
Speaker 1:I say oh no, I say what was your name? Again Turner right Wow.
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 1:Captain, captain Turner, captain, captain is my name. Your name is Captain. What's your rank, though, lieutenant?
Speaker 2:I'm Lieutenant Captain. I'm Lieutenant Captain.
Speaker 1:Well, lieutenant, captain, who's this other guy?
Speaker 2:That's Humdy.
Speaker 1:Captain Humdy Humdy or Humdy Humdy Hum got it All right. Well, we've got to catch this Captain, and Humdy Humdy or Humdy Humdy Hum got it.
Speaker 2:Alright, well, we've got to catch this Captain and Humdy.
Speaker 1:Of course, the famous roving trio Of Bulwarks.
Speaker 2:I've heard of us I have Right now.
Speaker 1:I heard you, I heard of you, I met you.
Speaker 2:Night's falling, but we can't just leave hooch to die. No, we gotta find he's still alive call out to hooch.
Speaker 1:Um, I gotta let me see if there's anything I can do. Uh, spire duel presence. I don't have a thing that will help us find Hooch.
Speaker 2:I mean you could make a search, check at disadvantages of the storm.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'll make a search check. Oh man Say I found him and I pick up. Jirt Growling worm. It's a worm, pup yeah. Yes, you do not find him um seconds face balls when they're coming in the desert. What's your looks?
Speaker 2:my total is one you um total might actually be zero you actually stumble upon a work den is this what I foresaw in my vision?
Speaker 1:we, uh like we're trying to seek a little bit of shelter from the storm, to get our bearings, and uh, we spot a cave and I'd say this way, maybe they went in here and everyone kind of rides up to it. We get off our tortoises and step into the mouth of the cave. All we can see in the distance is a toothy grins.
Speaker 2:Glowing red eyes.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't know about this, galen, we're ambush the captain, the captain is ambush that scent is unmistakable, oh no they see I say wait, no, I have a different scent now. They would not know how I smell. In fact, it might block their ability to recognize me because I smell so horrible and different.
Speaker 2:Not you, the rat.
Speaker 1:Oh, they also probably see our black mane cloaks that we made from Old Ghost's hide. Did you actually make those? I don't know. We keep saying we're going to, that's just.
Speaker 2:I mean like we have the material we just have, like hides, game of Thrones, like Jon Snow cloaks.
Speaker 1:That's exactly how I added them, yeah.
Speaker 2:Thunderblade and Phoenix Stark.
Speaker 1:I say Phoenix Stark back to back Formation and we like I say Phoenix Stark back to back Formation. We like strike a pose and Captain and Humdy are just Like staring at us.
Speaker 2:We will have our revenge. The slayers of Olgos Will die.
Speaker 1:And we'll have you for dinner. Have at you.
Speaker 2:Uh, you are in a conflict, say that parlay is going to be pretty limited and difficult piece, but you can give it a shot.
Speaker 1:I'm going to attempt a parlay. I'm gonna. I'm gonna attempt a parlay. Okay, I'm gonna say that's right, we're the defeaters of old ghosts. You think you've got a chance? You go ahead and try. That's pretty good.
Speaker 2:Try to roll intimidant. Alright, you'll have disadvantage with a minus one.
Speaker 1:I'm already not intimidating. I don't know why I always try to intimidate them. Can I? Can I like tower behind you.
Speaker 2:It's because of my flaw. I can't help it.
Speaker 1:I love it. Oh boy, my total is two.
Speaker 2:You are intimidated instead They'll start howling with laughter.
Speaker 1:Good answer Good answer Good answer.
Speaker 2:And George, you want to make an action? Yeah, I'm going to make it. No, no, no.
Speaker 1:I'm going to call out the Actually, I'll activate it now, I guess, because it's going to be the duel. I point at the whoever seems to be the current leader of the worries and I say that's right, and you're next, and I pull my axe and step forward and I roll initiative. Cool, I'll have to roll intimidate. Are they a champion, ben, or are they a goon or a bruiser? It's a bruiser, okay, then I don't have to roll an intimidate. Check, I designate him as the adversary or her, doesn't matter, I'll still beat him up.
Speaker 1:And you also have the two bulwarks there I say, captain Humdy to me, we stride forward in bulwark battle formation. What is initiative?
Speaker 2:B12 plus one. That's perception.
Speaker 1:Perception, perception.
Speaker 2:Oh man.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Ah man.
Speaker 2:There's still some sand in my eye from that storm. Okay, I can't see nothing. You were all pounced upon by the wargs.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that one warg has to attack me. We're locked in.
Speaker 2:Oh.
Speaker 1:I'll roll. How many rounds is the duel for the duel? For five rounds. We are locked in Mortal Kombat Nice.
Speaker 2:Okay, mortal Kombat, that warg pounces you. Okay, that warg pounces you and you're knocked to the ground.
Speaker 1:Cheap shot. Cheap shot.
Speaker 2:You take four dread Okay and attacks you again.
Speaker 1:Oh man, oh boy, Critical hit.
Speaker 2:Oh, sorry, that was a D10.
Speaker 1:Oh, oh come on Wow, what the heck. Oh man, I had a sigh of relief. It was meant to be All right, that's 18.
Speaker 2:18 dread to you. Holy cats pounce you and just like bites in your arm.
Speaker 1:Yeah oh, you know what? I'm going to shrug that off and at least block some of it. And my armor gives me one block too. So I'm at 22 out of 23. You said 18 dread. I'm going to roll vitality. That's a 6. That's enough to shrug it off out of 23. You said 18 dread. I'm going to roll vitality. That's a 6. That's enough to shrug it off. I'm going to block the 8 damage, that's 4 plus 1. I take 13 dread. So I'm down to 9 instead out of 23.
Speaker 2:Okay, alright, riley, you were attacked.
Speaker 1:Come on, that was brutal. He's gonna hurt again, I feel it. Yeah, I know. Oh my gosh. Yeah, god ben, when you're hot, you're 14. Okay, so I do stand because I've got the temps. Is this a?
Speaker 2:Stout Heart situation. I'm going to save it.
Speaker 1:Because I feel like I'll use that better against a regular attack. I'm going to take this guy down. I believe in you. Actually, you know what. No, I'm not. I'm going to take this guy down. I believe in you. Actually, you know what. No, I'm not. I'm going to muster courage. Oh, okay, that also works.
Speaker 2:And then two other ones attack. The ball works.
Speaker 1:Four works. Yeah, of course they miss.
Speaker 2:The first one misses, the second one is a hit and it can't be counterattacked because of the warg's ability okay has attack or bite and retreat on 7 or eight. It can't be a counter-attack, I see. And that is their turn, and now it's all y'all except listen all y'all, it's riley tosh.
Speaker 1:Uh, okay, riley, do you want to roll for the bulwarks? Riley Taj. Okay, riley, do you want to roll for the Bulwarks? Sure, I figure, if you're not going to do anything, I'm just going to look at my attacks, real quick. I would like to muster courage, okay, to heal us.
Speaker 2:That's next time.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because your action was in the parlay round yeah, ben, can I activate sweeping strike even though I'm in a duel?
Speaker 2:I would say no.
Speaker 1:I see, okay, alright, I attack the Org Orgars and Jorgs the Wargi Wargi hey.
Speaker 2:There we go.
Speaker 1:There we go. This is a battle of crits. It's a crit only.
Speaker 2:You would have to use a quest point because it has minus one defense Done Done, no question in my mind, that's what they're for Yep Heck yes.
Speaker 1:Alright, so I roll d10. Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on. It's only a three. This is 6 damage. It's terrible.
Speaker 2:Do you add dread or you got?
Speaker 1:bleeding. Oh yeah, I rolled above a 9. You're right, so there is a bleed, so it's going to be 7. Thank you, here's my axe.
Speaker 2:Okay, cool.
Speaker 1:That's four works.
Speaker 2:Two bulwarks.
Speaker 1:Okay, I'll roll one of the bulwarks real quick. D12 plus how much? Well, I just rolled a D12. They rolled a three and the other bulwark rolls a 4. They're terrified, they're like we're not cut out for this. Ha ha ha.
Speaker 2:Um, they both whiff, but they manage to kind of get on the other side of the works.
Speaker 1:Pincer maneuver Standard bulwark.
Speaker 2:So you two are on one side, and then they're deeper in the cave behind the works.
Speaker 1:A justice sandwich. This is when the strangler gets the next guy. Wow, that would be like the worst. Critical miss yeah, wow, that would be like the worst critical miss effect.
Speaker 2:Yeah, all right, top of the round. Any actions?
Speaker 1:No, I'm going to roll an eight for my perception, mustering courage For my perception.
Speaker 2:Mustering courage. You know, you could probably muster courage.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm going to do muster courage for the party Awesome.
Speaker 2:Yes, Amazing amazing.
Speaker 1:Yes, that is 19. Courage to us. What?
Speaker 2:Is that your?
Speaker 1:new ability. Yeah, it's my super courage ability. That's glorious. So I am back in action. Where did my hit points go? I think you're at 9. I was at 9, yeah, so 9 plus 19. 19. Ben, does this refill temporary hit points too?
Speaker 2:No, alright does this refill temporary hit points too?
Speaker 1:No, Worth a shot. Worth a shot. You know, I feel the power coursing through my veins. I am absolutely missing Mighty Blow, because I had to give that up when I leveled P12 plus 2. It's a six. So, uh, is your initiative? No, no, I rolled an eight.
Speaker 2:Oh, yeah, yeah uh, I'll just have the bulwarks, be your initiative, one or like roll each. Okay, I appreciate that.
Speaker 1:Six to hit. What is the dual rule? Say you and the adversary on a three to eight attack, roll both combatants hit with a counterattack as part of the dual rules. That means I hit but I get a counterattack right.
Speaker 2:You rolled a six which is really a five.
Speaker 1:But it says on a three to eight attack roll, both combatants hit with a counterattack. Yeah, yeah, and that will override the Warg's abilities. Yeah. So man, he takes two plus two more damage because for the bleed Not not good, Not good damage rolls today. And then we roll for these other guys Twelve. That guy gets a ten plus whatever bonuses.
Speaker 2:Plus one.
Speaker 1:OK so he has it Well, plus one minus one, I guess, so still plus one minus one, I guess so still, there's ten this is the attack against you. Okay, I am at zero defense now. Whatever, that doesn't really matter, it's a hit. So I take seven minus one. I take six. Dread, you're going to attack again, oh, because okay, yeah, yeah, that's right. That was the beauty of the duel.
Speaker 2:The beauty of the duel.
Speaker 1:Pretty cool.
Speaker 2:Oh, sorry, that is 11 dread to you.
Speaker 1:Oh, I thought that it was seven dread. Okay, I will adjust four more dread off my total and let me roll this d10 damage. It's six damage additional 7 dread. Okay, I will adjust 4 more dread off my total and let me roll this d10 damage it's 6 damage additional. Was that a critical hit, though? Sorry, yes, it was yeah, because it was a 13 minus 1 is still 12. So that's going to be 12 damage. Ben is an honest GM 12. And I already factored in the bleed from the previous attack.
Speaker 2:Okay, so you've sliced into this warg and it's definitely bloodied.
Speaker 1:The bulwark. I rolled ten to hit on Alright the. Bulwark I rolled 10 to hit on Hit. What kind of damage did they do? D10. He also gets a 6. He feels inspired.
Speaker 2:Awesome.
Speaker 1:And then there's another Bulwark, 12. Oh no, oh no, oh no child. Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. He is the one who becomes strangled as the strangler comes out of the back of the cave. I kind of love that. I think it's great, I'm okay with it. I think it's like maybe he'll strangle the wargs or something I don't know Unlikely.
Speaker 2:The strangler is clearly like crazy.
Speaker 1:What if the strangler was Elmo? Wow, whoa, I forgot about Elmo, he just got tired. He's in Scalawag Strand, though, isn't?
Speaker 2:he yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Well, you know what if he got tired of hanging?
Speaker 2:out. He's Noggin's first mate.
Speaker 1:Old Noggin, yeah, you know, but that's a stretch, man.
Speaker 2:What is Old Noggin again, what is his name?
Speaker 1:Pendergoose.
Speaker 2:Pendergoose Old Noggin.
Speaker 1:Captain Noggin yeah.
Speaker 2:That is a stretch.
Speaker 1:I think that would not be exciting, but I think it's funny in my mind, humdy.
Speaker 2:Humdy is, disappears into the dark, and now only Lieutenant Captain is with you.
Speaker 1:You just hear him yelling out.
Speaker 2:Humdy.
Speaker 1:Humdy, back to your post. It's getting worse all the time. Yeah, amazing. Unfortunately, I think it's their round, yeah, this is where he double crits again. We're back where we started. Alright, the duel start with the duel. This is where he double crits again.
Speaker 2:We're back where we started. Alright, the duel Start with the duel yes, finally. But that is a that's still a hit. What?
Speaker 1:Three to eight. Oh yeah, it's three to eight. It's like a counter, an attack encounter.
Speaker 2:So dread.
Speaker 1:I'm going down, I'm going down. So 7 dread, it's 7 out of 23.
Speaker 2:You can counter.
Speaker 1:I can counter. Make it counter. That's a 9. Or an 8. It's an 8, yeah. Crap.
Speaker 2:Can you take the warg down with this hit?
Speaker 1:It's going to be 3 damage plus 1. It's a 4 damage down. That's painful. Bernard is just hosing me right now, man.
Speaker 2:That was not enough to slay the warg.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he gets another counter on me. That's good enough If I can stand through it. Maybe I can take him down and then you got like one, two left. Two hit points left. Yeah, this is not good.
Speaker 2:Oh, you could use a no, that's good enough. Dude a three to eight. No, it's minus one. I use a quest point.
Speaker 1:I use a quest point. Yeah, Galen is staggering. He's swinging wildly with the axe, but he the memories of all ghosts and everything everything is too much.
Speaker 2:The scar is dropping on his face yeah, with a wild swing. Let's see if Galen wow, yes, this is like a high variance like ones and twelves all you needed to roll was the damage, because you oh, can that be one of the? All you needed to roll was the damage.
Speaker 1:Oh, Can that be one of the bulwarks?
Speaker 2:Five damage that is enough. Hack into the side of the work the axe comes down, hack into the side.
Speaker 1:You're like Arnold Schwarzenegger now in Predator.
Speaker 2:Yeah, there's a war. A roar from the work yeah, as it falls, slams into the ground. Defeated yeah, but there are three of them left.
Speaker 1:I'm about to take one down right now, guys yeah, you are.
Speaker 2:I'm actually gonna roll a morale check for them morale check. Roll poorly roll a moral oral check they see their leader, their new leader, go down. It's not a common sound that you hear from wargs, but it's like a dog yelp. And they just like they try to barrel past you out of the den.
Speaker 1:Amazing I stand bloodied, but still standing.
Speaker 2:Run, run.
Speaker 1:Riley, in a sort of terrified state, will chase after them a few yards, just being like ahhh. Ahhh, like Bill Murray when he's terrified of slugs.
Speaker 2:Ahhh, like Bill Murray when he's terrified of slugger ghostbusters.
Speaker 1:Yeah, um the scene like cuts to black while I harvest black mane for for another cloak he's not a black mane.
Speaker 2:Black mane was like a unique oh, okay, okay, okay it's not like the type of warg.
Speaker 1:Okay, all right. Um, I uh look over to lieutenant captain I say we gotta, we gotta sorry, sorry, that's funny lieutenant captain.
Speaker 2:Sorry, lieutenant captain we gotta get.
Speaker 1:We gotta get humdy. He's further in the cave what happened to him.
Speaker 2:He just disappeared.
Speaker 1:I don't know Come on Run down deeper into the cave, torches.
Speaker 2:Only a truly mad person would hide in a war cave with warg.
Speaker 1:Maybe they're not a person. Dun dun dun. Some warg with opposable thumbs. Who's learned? Ha Ha ha.
Speaker 2:I'll show you Some word with opposable thumbs.
Speaker 1:Who's learned? Evolution guides my hands. Pesky dog, your pesky jellies is goo.
Speaker 2:Do you guys have a light source? You have the fireflies.
Speaker 1:I don't actually have a torch. I gently shake the jar of fireflies. Light our way, gentle fireflies.
Speaker 2:All right. Actually, I do have flint and tinder I could do something. Anyway, we go.
Speaker 1:Fireflies.
Speaker 2:All right, make a search.
Speaker 1:check one of you oh, riley, you're better at searching than me. I've already had one horrible search check, say five. Okay, good, quest point it. Well, maybe Might be worth it. Yeah, cuesta punta.
Speaker 2:Six, you find a trail of blood deep in the cave and unfortunately it leads to a little tunnel that leads out of this cave.
Speaker 1:Ah, man, that's no good Um, do we find Humdy? No there's still a chance you find one of his.
Speaker 2:You know, items like a pouch that just kind of ripped off his belt.
Speaker 1:I add it to my inventory. I'm immediately incumbent. Yeah, you have copper coins I I handed to the captain. I say uh for his widow.
Speaker 2:No, I don't say that, I say there's a I.
Speaker 1:I say hold on to this for him until we get him back. We still have a chance. It's not too late.
Speaker 2:Exhaustion is setting in. You guys are minus one if you keep pressing in the night.
Speaker 1:Should we hole up in this cave? I don't know. The first 24 hours are the critical period in finding him.
Speaker 2:I think we should go after him honestly. Yeah.
Speaker 1:I think Galen would press on in spite of his wounds. Yeah same, we're going to push it. He like forks down a Nacadonkey tube steak real quick. Can I do that? Can I just like wolf down some food?
Speaker 2:yeah, it won't.
Speaker 1:It won't stave off your tiredness will it count to give us back at least a little bit of HPs while we press on through the night?
Speaker 2:no, sorry.
Speaker 1:I pantomime it. Give us back at least a little bit of hp's while we press on through the night. No, I don't do it, I pantomime it I'm sorry, george, it won't do that. It's fine we need to buy healing potions. That's what we need to buy. Um, I say, uh, all right, let's.
Speaker 2:Uh, we should have like a whole cooking system where, like, you can eat something to uh, steal it from Lord of the Rings online.
Speaker 1:It's like fire down a power bar.
Speaker 2:Just give you a couple.
Speaker 1:Plus two courage or something. Anyway, we crawl out the hole that this guy escaped through. I'm going to say, I'm going to pep talk George and say, george, george, what are you doing this?
Speaker 2:guy escape through, I'm going to say I'm going to pep talk George and say George, or Galen George, what are you doing?
Speaker 1:I'm going to pep talk and be like, hey, what do you see out there? Are there any tracks? And give him an advantage on a search roll. Oh okay, thank you. Nice Say well, crap, I don't do it, I fail doesn't matter, I still got a nine I fail to give you the pep talk no, you don't know. You roll a nine, though yeah, I'm trying to concentrate like both of us look over at lieutenant captain for speaking.
Speaker 2:So like briskly to riley and we're like hey, hey, I was, I was role-playing.
Speaker 1:No, no, I refuse, you're not role-playing me, it's fine.
Speaker 2:Um, yeah uh, I said riley right, I got this.
Speaker 1:I got this. I see some tracks, blood, bloodstained footprints.
Speaker 2:They went this away oh, hidden footprints, wow Slain.
Speaker 1:Slain.
Speaker 2:Diablo 3 reference.
Speaker 1:That's a Diablo 3 reference we find an enchantress in the desert. That would actually be awful if this was like an enchantress or something.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you do find more hidden footprints yes. Streaks of dragged bodies.
Speaker 1:Like pearl and blood, they're being collected for some unknown purpose.
Speaker 2:And you see it leading behind a sort of rock formation in the desert I have an idea, galen.
Speaker 1:I say yeah, but the dragon's thing is out of juice. I don't know if it's going to work. Ken, like what if we surround it and on one side of the rock formation I build like a snare trap? Oh nice, uh huh. And then we go the other way and like try to flush the murderer out to run into the snare trap, because they keep trying to run away, right, so maybe we can chase them down. I've got 12 materials.
Speaker 1:Yeah, chase him out. I've got 12 materials. You have more because we broke down those items right, those are the. Oh, those are Okay, gotcha, gotcha. Can I take some of those and just like, make a, make a snare? Yeah, to grab their foot. They step through the loop and whatnot yeah you also have what? Uh, piano, wire, juridic rope. Oh, that's also that. Wow, what if we I'll make the snare his neck? Yeah, that was an extremely good yeah, yeah that's 13, I totally do it.
Speaker 1:I like the idea that it's like frontier justice and he gets caught in the snare and hung by his own piano wire that's brutal.
Speaker 2:I was going to hand him over to the authorities.
Speaker 1:You know, lieutenant, captain and I, we are the law, it's true.
Speaker 2:Okay, Galen, what are you doing while Riley is doing this?
Speaker 1:I'm holding pressure on all my wheels.
Speaker 2:Alright, I'm getting kind of sleepy, yeah, no.
Speaker 1:I'm just gonna take a nap real quick, I'm just gonna take a breather. Goes into a coma. No, I think that I'll just get in position on FB's back so I can charge him and charge him into the what's it called the the snare trap perhaps. Yeah, we want to like, we want to corral him right in there.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Alright, so think of this, as you know, like a, a cylinder. Basically, it's not a cylinder cylinder, but basically a circular rock formation.
Speaker 1:Okay, okay, um cylinder rock.
Speaker 2:I recognize this place so, I guess, explain to me how, how this is working.
Speaker 1:how this is working again Um so, riley, if we're facing the cylinder, riley builds the trap on the right side. We use the left side. Yeah, we, we go in on the left side. I go wide with FB to corral him.
Speaker 2:keep him close to the cylinder while he runs away from us and Riley goes tight yeah.
Speaker 1:And then we swo and we'll swoop around in an attempt to corral the person into the trap. Yeah, and then Lieutenant Captain waits on the other side by the trap just in case he gets past the trap somehow. Yeah, or to grab him. Yeah, a pincher movement. Yeah, a roundabout pincher movement. Thomas pincher movement. Yeah, roundabout Pinscher movement.
Speaker 2:Thomas Pinscher movement.
Speaker 1:Alright, I'm going to make a roll.
Speaker 2:And make a wilderness check. Ooh Dang it.
Speaker 1:Slippery peep, this guy. Yeah, you just hear from the other side of the rock as we're spraying the trap. Yeah, as Lieutenant Captain gets.
Speaker 2:You're way ahead of this, George.
Speaker 1:I'm sorry, we caught.
Speaker 2:Lieutenant Captain.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you're way ahead of this, george. I'm sorry I wrote this. Yeah, this guy's too smart for us.
Speaker 2:And on that other side you find the two bodies of the other bulwarks.
Speaker 1:No, Humpty Hooch.
Speaker 2:They're tied up at the hands and feet.
Speaker 1:Can we look for clues as to what? Why would they keep the bodies? You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:What do you mean?
Speaker 1:I'm curious as to what the like why, he was to drag and keep the bodies, like clearly there's like some reason.
Speaker 2:It's good cinematography all right, uh, make a perception check oh it just doesn't make any sense.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's exactly what I was gonna say just doesn't make any sense the mystery is deepening uh load them on the back of fb um, can I, uh, discerning I to create a weakness or vulnerability in someone or something within a line of sight for narrative purposes? This might be a stretch, but I want to say I see his footprints and that one of them is dragging along like he's been injured and he's got to be moving slower now and maybe we can catch up to him.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:Let's see if this works. Perception For 10. Riley look look, he's dragging his left foot. It's got to mean something.
Speaker 2:Maybe Hooch got a lucky shot in. Yeah.
Speaker 1:I feel like Khan and Rathacon trying to get kirk. It's just like we'll chase him around the moons of nibia. Uh, I say we'll, we'll come back to the bodies. Let's uh, let's, get after him or her. You don't know who, what, the gender of this strangler is Galen.
Speaker 2:you see that the tracks also like leap up onto the rocks.
Speaker 1:He went for the rock. Can I follow and it's kind of get a vantage point from on top? I'm up to the rocks.
Speaker 2:Yeah yeah, you'll both need to make athletics checks.
Speaker 1:Is there anything we can do? Okay, never mind.
Speaker 2:As long as Riley made it, I don't think I'm going to do it.
Speaker 1:I use my frog legs.
Speaker 2:Literally frog leg it Like boing.
Speaker 1:Alright.
Speaker 2:You guys have made it to a vantage point where you see what you now recognize to be a yell jack. Oh, these guys.
Speaker 1:I immediately begin to box him.
Speaker 2:But he's like below him, below you, and he's got Lieutenant Captain I leap onto him.
Speaker 1:I leap onto him with, diving straight into danger. I just sail. Wait a minute, I have a hang glider. I'm going to hang, glide directly into him. A full collision, Just like I got you. How far away has he been? 30?
Speaker 2:feet down.
Speaker 1:Good thing I'm using the hang glider. While riley hang glides, I let down the druidic rope to wrap around this guy's neck so like that way riley can get to him without him. Like making an escape. I like goggles. Five minutes later, riley is finally ready. She's like got the hang glider strapped on. Yeah, that's exactly. It's the data theme that plays. All right, what do I roll? Athletics Nimbleness yeah either one Twelve Nice.
Speaker 2:All right, the rope snags the strangler, it gets pulled back. Gotcha Riley, you come zooming in and collide with him Breaking his neck in the process. Roll a d12. And also 9. You also take 3 dread yourself in the impact, but you deal 9 dread and he tumbles down to the ground.
Speaker 1:um now, did he kill captain or was he in the process of strangling?
Speaker 2:the captain, yeah yeah, you saved the captain. He's like gasping for air. Um, there's a chance that. Uh, saved the captain. He's like gasping for air. There's a chance that the Yaljak will fall into the trap below. Amazing Never tell me that I will say a three and six chance that he will. Yay, he's caught in your trap as he falls below to the ground. I love it Describe what that looks like, Riley yeah.
Speaker 1:So he's floundering. He springs up like he's going to get away, makes mad dash and then immediately hooks one of his legs and slides forward trapped and he's trying to jump away. But we got him All right cool, You'll never grow. We got him and he's trying to get away. And when he looks up I slam him in the face with a frying pan.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he looks at you and he's about to bust up laughing. Yeah, welcome to the book lands. He's spinning around his head. Wow, you're under arrest. Ping. Alright, lieutenant Captain, you're under arrest. All right, lieutenant captain? Um, he's not looking good, he's like, actually he's probably looking as good as galen yeah, I mean we're both pretty rough, right, it's a bulwark, it's a bulwark's life um, what are you gonna do with this nacky Donky Strangler?
Speaker 1:Well, I think that we're going to tie him up ten times and lead him behind us on the tortoise and take him to the closest jail, maybe like Krikstop I guess Wally's isn't oh no, firedamp, firedamp is right next to Wally's right. It's not on the map, but it's. Oh no, fire Damp is right next to Wally's right. It's not on the map, but it's.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's in the same hex. Yeah, you could go with. What's this, lieutenant?
Speaker 1:Captain, we'll escort Lieutenant Captain, we'll go retrieve Hooch and Humdy and we'll bring their bodies back Because Fort.
Speaker 2:Bulwark is right over here.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's not that far. I'm wondering if we can just go to Fort Bulwark as a group along the Great Slog, so it's safer. Yeah, you know what?
Speaker 2:I mean On the way back.
Speaker 1:We could always stop at Wally's to rest before we go to the stone. This is the beauty of the stone. Yeah, I think this is. I mean, this is the beauty of the sandbox. Yeah, I like that plan. Cool, do we find any? We disarm him, we pull off like 40 piano wires that he has hidden everywhere. Every time we think we have found one, like we find another one. And then he cackles maniacally, coughs one up up he wears them like friendship bracelets.
Speaker 1:So just like, wow, they're braided around his arms. Yeah, it's actually like woven into his like furry mane, like his mane is full of piano wire.
Speaker 2:Just like shave his head he has, uh, two copper pouches and a silver pouch we confiscate those to pay funerals of the two other officers. We do it. He also has a pouch of grizzly trophies that we won't mention because this is a Land of Eam stream.
Speaker 1:Oh gosh, the credits roll as we just silently in the wind bury them in the desert. Galen holds on to it for the Halloween episode. Wow, with a Scooby-Doo meets Dexter episode. Yeah, with a Scooby-Doo meets Dexter episode yeah. I turn to Lieutenant Captain and I say well, lieutenant Captain, we did it, but at a great cost.
Speaker 2:Yes, our brothers in arms have lost two bulwarks today.
Speaker 1:Our numbers were already dwindling. But we've saved countless others, because this is one slippery bandit, it's true.
Speaker 2:Indeed, the bulwarks will deal with them at the fort in exact justice. Indeed Another forge it is Another court is.
Speaker 1:Yeah, alright, send it Crap, that's horrible. Instead of addressing that role, I'm going to address Princess Funnybones' comment for a Halloween One-Shot shot.
Speaker 2:That's awesome. Last year we did the uh ghostbusters yeah, that was good times I feel like maybe it again keep up that tradition yeah, I kind of like this tradition.
Speaker 1:Yeah, um, I had a quest point, my last quest point, to bounce it to a four. That that's a different category. I can automate.
Speaker 2:It's not. It's not, I mean you're in the dangerous encounter.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I am.
Speaker 2:Do we get any pluses because of the road? No, you do, but it doesn't do anything.
Speaker 1:It's not enough what is this?
Speaker 2:sorry no, it's fine, I thought mood music.
Speaker 1:I was like oh, okay all right roll a d1 hundo. Oh, god bless, I beseech the people of the Dirtnap Dunes. A bunch of Fremen. Come out with blue glowing eyes, give us still suits and lead us to safety. He who controls the spice controls the world Okay. Shirt screams. Look out. It's a Wilhelm scream.
Speaker 2:Ah, riley, roll randomly for one of your items, oh no let's see what items I have. Five six crafting tools your crafting tools, the masterwork crafting tools the ones that crazy Ernie gave you. A hungry mung comes out of nowhere and snatches it and begins devouring it. Hey, give me those.
Speaker 1:I just cleaver it. Wow, could have been worse. It could have been the Nimbus hammer. That's a freaking relic. Yeah, I was terrified. Leave it to cleaver. That sucks. Freaking relic. Yeah, I was terrified. Leave it to Cleaver. That sucks. I'm sorry, bud, we'll make you some new tools. The only ones that would really hurt are the. Mad Merian's multiple map and the Nimbus hammer.
Speaker 2:Do you want to actually deal with this Mung?
Speaker 1:Ben typically Mung. Are they just benign creatures that are annoying more than anything, or are they actually predatory?
Speaker 2:It varies a lot.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:I was going to try to parlay with it. Yeah, I was actually going to try to parlay with it sure go for it, because you have jerk here, you can properly parlay nice.
Speaker 1:I'm going to say that wasn't very nice. Those are brand new. Why didn't you ask if you were hungry?
Speaker 2:jerk translates make a charm check, how dare you do that and he will have his revenge Take a charm check Six Successful twist, it barks back at you, which Jert translates as I'm hungry, I take what I need.
Speaker 1:Will you give me more, just this once, and I'll give him the salted meats. Okay, next time.
Speaker 2:He doesn't want that. Oh, oh.
Speaker 1:We got goblin alloy.
Speaker 2:We got glass, wood.
Speaker 1:We got chip dynamite we got cairn crystals You're going to make me. I've got a Karen Crystals You're going to make me. I'm always going to laugh at that. I've got a Juggernaut Chip.
Speaker 2:I can toss him.
Speaker 1:He laps it up, really Toss a chip to your among creature the next time you ask for it. He says I say how rude.
Speaker 2:They have some sort of bickering back and forth. The mung sloughs off into the monk like sloughs off into the night.
Speaker 1:Sloughs off.
Speaker 2:I don't know if that makes sense. It does.
Speaker 1:It's like the same way. You know we get to move to.
Speaker 2:You guys are powering through, right yeah yeah, oh yeah.
Speaker 1:We should just go to wally's and call it a night. I don't know, I don't know, it's like I don't want this guy to get away again yeah, we can put him in a cell and fire damp. I'm sure that there's like a jail. To make one more travel check.
Speaker 2:Then Did I roll the last one, or did you roll the last one I?
Speaker 1:think you did. I'll roll it. I don't remember Amazing. I'm glad you rolled it Ten.
Speaker 2:Thank goodness it's really minus one, but that doesn't matter.
Speaker 1:Nine Make twallies and everyone turns when you walk in and says hey hey, hey, guys, we got the strangler oh, oh credits roll, I assume we drop like let's go to like local sheriff and say we've got the Nakataki Strangler with the bulwark and they lock him up we need to hold him for a night. Yeah, lieutenant captain can take care of that okay, we'll like go into Wally's and say hey to everybody.
Speaker 2:Captain, thanks you both of you for your fine work into Wally's and say hey to everybody, Captain thanks to both of you for your fine work, and especially Galen. He's a fellow paladin, you really showed your stuff.
Speaker 1:We're paladins now. I thought we were bulwarks.
Speaker 2:A paladin is your rank? Wait, did I just get a upgrade in rank?
Speaker 1:because paladin ponderwall that I remember him.
Speaker 2:I did, I just get promoted I guess you did, you deserve it.
Speaker 1:I guess you did. You deserve it Free stream and a high five. Galen's genuinely moved. He hadn't ever thought that he would make a difference in the Bulwarks Proud of you, Galen. Yeah, paladin.
Speaker 2:Happy Dunstan says three cheers for Paladin Galen Hip hip Hooren.
Speaker 1:Hip hip Hooray, hip hip Hooray, you are yeah. That's happening on stage.
Speaker 2:There's like gelatinous goobing, doing that type of thing.
Speaker 1:That's amazing. Order up some waffles. A stack the size of myself, wally, comes out, brings you guys some waffles.
Speaker 2:Just I remember you guys. You came in here before.
Speaker 1:How you doing, Wally.
Speaker 2:How you been buddy. How you been buddy. Oh, you know, can't complain. You know Warg population's gone down, which is fine, but we're making do here. We're making do.
Speaker 1:We killed the new warg leader In the dirt nap dunes. Uh so, but there's.
Speaker 2:Rest of them are still running around yeah, I mean, you can't get rid of all of them, trust me, I tried I tried like, while he gives a thousand, sure it, it's covered with scars.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, I pour syrup on my waffles, but an absurd amount.
Speaker 2:Are you guys interested in the Howling Hot Challenge?
Speaker 1:I'll give it a shot.
Speaker 2:I'm going tonight, galen, I'm in.
Speaker 1:I got straight into danger.
Speaker 2:I'm interested, I love it Galen, do you want to destroy your bowels indiscriminately?
Speaker 1:yeah, yeah you say I get an XP for this. Yeah, I'm in Galen's in and it may make him go unconscious. Yeah, I love that idea Awesome.
Speaker 2:So you guys will have to make vitality checks at disadvantage. Oh, awesome, so you guys will have to make vitality checks at disadvantage, oh, as you down these hot wings, or hot, not wings, hot work haunches. No napkins, no drinks.
Speaker 1:I fail miserably and my face becomes like beet red. I'm sweating. I've got snot running down my nose and I'm chugging milk. Oh, Riley, you went for the milk.
Speaker 2:Galen's like licking his skin.
Speaker 1:I can't do it. It's too hot. I can't do it I can't do it, Galen. I used my last quest point to bump the 7 plus 2 minus 1, 2, and 9. So Sorry.
Speaker 2:Sorry, you gotta get a 12 oh on this howling hot challenge it's nearly impossible only happy dunstan has done it. He shows you his picture.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's funny because galen's licking his fingers, like yeah, that wasn't so bad. And then, like suddenly his pupils narrow.
Speaker 2:And then suddenly his pupils narrow, and then he goes hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot hot. It cuts to you two in the bathroom. And there's only one bathroom.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm like waiting outside doing the dance.
Speaker 2:There's only one toilet, yeah.
Speaker 1:Doing the dance. Happy Dunstan is like maybe next time, as he gloats with his picture on the wall, which is actually like a gigantic victorian age like painting where he's like yeah, with his hand in his coat yeah, or the bucket of warg haunches in the back the only guy to ever do that. The howling hot challenge yeah, I love it um what do I end?
Speaker 2:I think we'll end it there yeah. That's the best way to do it.
Speaker 1:It just closes on Riley banging on the door while Galen's passed out in the bathroom.
Speaker 2:Hurry up in there.
Speaker 1:This is how we rest, but it's purifying. The spice is purifying, yeah, yeah, it's a full cleanse yeah, all right, let's do some xp real quick also anybody who's watching. I would love to know. Go onto the discord and let us know if any pcs have completed the challenge, because you do have to roll a 12 to do it. I'm just curious to see. If anybody's done it, let us know. We add them to the canon.
Speaker 2:You get a heroic title. Yeah, you do.
Speaker 1:All right, that was fun. Amazing Good quest, good quest.
Speaker 2:Let's see. Do you want to do xp now? Yeah, um, you didn't complete a quest.
Speaker 1:Well, I guess you did. Yeah, I would say we got the train right, yeah, so that's one um.
Speaker 2:You solved it in a creative way. I would say Explore a new location.
Speaker 1:Yeah, unfortunately we've been to Dirt Nap Dunes and Wally's.
Speaker 2:No new creature.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's true. Hey Bug, how are you?
Speaker 2:We just got good news about Bug.
Speaker 1:Oh, bug had to go to the doctor this week.
Speaker 2:Yeah, she's got a nasty scar, but Chick's dig scars.
Speaker 1:Yes, or we found out that. Chicks dig scars.
Speaker 2:Yes, we found out that actually just now. I had to hold in my excitement. I didn't know if I was going to say this, but it's just a grade one tumor, hey.
Speaker 1:Look at that. Congratulations, little bug, I'm going to make a commemorative character for bug to memorialize her triumph over this we actually do.
Speaker 2:I mean, yeah. Stiorra, the dog dwimmer is like basically a Boston Terrier it's one of the projects we're working on.
Speaker 1:If you're on our Patreon, you've probably seen the Stiorra. It's a new graphic novel project, glory okay you know I would say that's uh plus one xp for bug success. You know, it's true, it's true, but only bug gets it. So it's 2 XP and we did a little bit of character building.
Speaker 2:Yeah, what did you come to? I know you had that thing about Riley's always late.
Speaker 1:Riley's always late. Galen's worried about missing the boat on saving our world. Yeah, I feel like maybe Galen had like a little bit of a bounce back from his encounter with Olgos because we were victorious with these wards. Maybe Galen is feeling a little better about things. Galen just never wants to fight a war again Every time he's broken and bloodied. And we only succeed because they failed their morale check.
Speaker 2:Well, they were goons, you know.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's true, there's like a big power vacuum in the wargs of the you know. So yeah, that's true.
Speaker 2:There's like a big power vacuum in the the works of the Dirtnapdunes, dirtnapdunes, dirtnapdunes. Significant encounter with an NPC. Yes, lieutenant, captain. Lieutenant, captain, awesome so that's 4xp, 5xp for your relationship uh and flaws, I think yeah, I didn't necessarily.
Speaker 1:Well, yeah, I didn't necessarily use my unless you want to say rescue captain from danger when he was getting strangled and we saved his life george, unless you want to say, yeah, that was more riley like yeah, cleansing head for allowing to danger. Yeah, I don't, I'm okay without galen.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, sir if you, you were at one courage right two, two courage two. But after that hot wing, hot haunch challenge, that's what I'm going to say. Yeah, no, I'm going to say that you could roll to see if you're wounded, and I'll say that you destroyed your bells indiscriminately.
Speaker 1:What do I roll? Is it a B12 to see if I'm wounded?
Speaker 2:It's a vitality check and you're also minus one cause you're tired.
Speaker 1:All right, so it's plus two minus one. Oh, galen was never the same.
Speaker 2:After that day you could only eat oatmeal All right, so you'll start with a wound next time, but just like, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:Oh man that's rough. Yeah, it wasn. Oh man that's rough.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it wasn't worth it in this game.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I need to make a note. Start with a wound. Promoted a paladin Dundie, immediately lose all my life due to a hot wing, hot haunch challenge.
Speaker 2:All right, everyone, everyone, thanks for watching princess funny bone and egg animates, and we'll catch all y'all next week indeed, if you're interested in checking it out, visit land of himcom, drive through RPG.
Speaker 1:you can sign up to our newsletter to find out about the Kickstarter. We'll have lots of updates about that soon. Yeah, thank you.
Speaker 2:All right, everybody Bye-bye, bye-bye Later.
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