Land of Eem: Actual Play

Land of Eem: Fantasy Actual Play S03E08 | In the Gloom King's Shadow

• Ben Costa, James Parks, George Higgins • Season 3 • Episode 8

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Ever found yourself battling blinds or questioning your culinary skills in a daring hot haunch challenge? Join Ben Costa and James Parks—creators of Rickety Stitch and the Gelatinous Goo and Dungeoneer Adventures—along with lead playtester, the illustrious George Higgins, for another hilarious and action-packed episode of the Land of Eem TTRPG, played in the Mucklands Campaign Sandbox Setting and published by Exalted Funeral.

The episode kicks off with cheeky breakfast banter at Wally’s Waffles and Weorgs, where the team reminisces about their victory over the mighty Nackadonkee Strangler and plots to dominate food contests across the Mucklands. With camaraderie and humor driving the adventure, even Galen’s pride emerges unscathed after a daring culinary duel.

The journey takes a thrilling turn as the party navigates rocky terrains and the Outrider Outpost, engaging in strategic sneak checks, playful trickery, and encounters with peculiar shark-like sorcerers. Along the way, they uncover secrets that promise to shape their fate, exploring themes of bravery, tactical retreats, and the dynamics of loyalty.

The stakes rise in a mysterious tower haunted by the sinister influence of the Gloom King. Grappling with loyalty, betrayal, and choices that shape their identities, the adventurers forge alliances that teeter on the brink of collapse. From engaging mess hall discussions to crafting strategies that blend humor, suspense, and camaraderie, this episode offers a rollercoaster of emotions and fantastical storytelling.

Perfect for fans of Fantasy Actual Play, Collaborative Storytelling RPGs, Rules-Light Indie RPGs, and the imaginative TTRPG community, this episode delivers an unforgettable mix of humor, strategy, and adventure.

Download the Land of Eem Quickstart Guide for FREE, and join the journey today!

https://linktr.ee/landofeem

Speaker 1:

like fighting with, fighting with venetian blinds over here. Oh, that's funny how y'all doing. Oh, I'm doing. Great costa, how are you doing costa? Great parks, yeah, parks, happy saturday parks. And costa, hey parks, hey parks. Do a lap. Wow, walking in middle school again. All right, coaches, um, how are you guys doing? You know pretty good, excited to play some land of today. Oh, yeah, me too. Me too. It's been too long been pretty good. Excited to play some land of eem today. Oh yeah, me too. Me too. It's been too long been an entire week since we played land of eem and now I'm ready, I'm excited to craft some items. Oh, georgie, you're gonna get into the.

Speaker 1:

We're talking about some crafting off stream. You know what I mean? And, yeah, one might say it's crafty. It's just my type exactly. Beastie boy, that's the beastiest of boys, pretty classic. You know what I mean? Uh, yeah, um, welcome everybody. Sorry, that was a kind of a bizarre start, but uh, that's a seems par for the course around here. You know, yeah, it's. Uh, it's on brand. It's just like friendship on display, just like hanging out saying nonsense to each other. But I genuinely thought I could get my blinds taken care of before we started the stream. Well, it's your blind spot. You know what I mean. I see what you did there. Wow, you should be in the comedian business. Mr Custer, I am actually. Oh, you are.

Speaker 1:

Let's stop what we're doing right now and maybe rehash what happened last week in the game. Previously on EAM, now at Wally's Waffles and Wargs. You journeyed across the used-to-be forest. He ran into a little side quest tracking down a murderer called the Nakadange Strangler. But we got some. We got some and threw him in the jail At the cost of lives. Yeah, humdy and Hooch man, humdy and Hooch, some bulwark paladins. Sorry, did you say paladin, because I am now a paladin? That's true, all of it. I was resisting the urge. I actually resisted it.

Speaker 1:

Out of nowhere, benjamin comes in. He jumps on the grenade for me, but I lost a hot hot camera, like it has to be said. Yeah, on the grenade for me, but I lost a hot haunch. Like it has to be said. Yeah, it has to be said. So I think the way the scene opens is the morning after the hot haunch challenge, which I unfortunately wake up. You incurred an internal wound. I incurred an internal wound, that's true.

Speaker 1:

Galen, are you okay in there? That sounds hot. Welcome, princess Funnybone. He made it just in time. You did, you did. We've been goofing off, but now we're going to start.

Speaker 1:

Riley, I can still taste the hot haunch Not in my mouth, it was good, but, geez, spicy, spicy. That was a spicy hot haunch. Galen, you have an actual wound. Yeah, we gotta roll it right. Or should we pick one that's appropriate? No, you're just minus one. Okay, that's what it means. I open the door. Look like death. You're just minus one. Okay, that's what it means. Yeah, I open the door. Look like death's warmed over. And I walk in. Your fists are still burning. Yeah, riley, but you're at Wally's.

Speaker 1:

Riley feels great. She's already offering him a short stack of pancakes. I'm like, hang it up. She can't try the syrup. She's already offering him a short stack of pancakes. She can try the syrup. It's awesome.

Speaker 1:

Galen gently sidles into the booth looking ginger with each movement and tucks into a little stack of pancakes. Happy, dunstan. Slaps you on the back and says oh, rough night last night. Huh, yep, not for her. She handled it like a champ. Wow, I mean, neither of you didn't win, like I'm the only one who's ever won the challenge. Isn't that amazing? Bring back the challenge. Let's do it again. George risks another wound. Yeah, no, I don't. I don't and I didn't realize you had to roll two twelves or whatever. It was a two twelves, not two twelves. Well, actually I think you have to roll. I think it was two twelves. Yeah, not flat twelves, but yeah, like a modified 12. Still very, very difficult. I'm going to get super tough and come back with advantage on eating a hot hand shit, just going to enter all the food challenges across the Muck Ones until you get advantage at a food challenge and then win.

Speaker 1:

Season 4 is the food trek-a-palooza across the Muck Ones. Yeah, note to self that we'll have food challenges throughout the Mucklins. That's actually a really good idea. I feel like there's a pie-eating contest somewhere. There probably is a pie-eating contest, but like a hot dog eating contest seems like obvious with the Naganaki Tuesdays. Yeah, norks Noodle contest, you know, it's like that challenge in San Francisco. Obvious with the Naked Knocky Tuesdays. Yeah, norks Noodle Contest, it's like that challenge in San Francisco.

Speaker 1:

Oh, you guys have a pho challenge in San Francisco, I think so. They give you a pho, but it's in a paint can. It's ridiculous. Or a sink. It's in a used paint can. It still has paint around the edges. It's in an old clawfoot Victorian tub. You gotta eat 400 pounds of butter anyway.

Speaker 1:

So what are you guys? What are you guys doing? You guys are headed to the stone. I'm taking a sitz bath for like the next year we are headed to the stone. I'm taking a sitz bath for like the next year we are headed to the stone. We've got to meet with the sorcerer who can um recharge the dragon bolt, dragon bolt status spear and um, once it's recharged, we're hoping that we can give it to sir halnar and, uh, I won't have to fight him in a duel.

Speaker 1:

I feel like um prince of princess, funny bones, scalina, I feel like the no stomach thing is an unfair advantage. Yeah, would a skeleton feel pain from eating? Hot haunches? Like, do they have any? Like hotness receptors be like psychosomatic pain? Yeah, yeah, it'd be. They'd be like it'd be psychic damage to themselves. Yeah, because it's like kind of like having a phantom limb. I feel like they still have all their faculties about them, even though they're, you know, a spirit infused. My phantom tongue is on fire. Hot haunches, I mean rickety stitch does derive pleasure from drinking. That's true, just the mere act of it. You know, yeah, it's like the ritual. This is rascal cider. You know what I mean.

Speaker 1:

Alright, so let me know what you guys want to do. You want to talk to more people at Wally's? You want to get on the road? You want to? I'd love to just chat with somebody at wally's. You want to get on the road? You want to? Um, I'd love to just chat with somebody while you're like hey, has anybody ever been to the stone? All right, while you do that, I'm going to look at the components list real quick. Uh, sally meat fist says I've been there, meat fist. I look at her. I look at her hands. What they look like, ben, they're're like some of the largest human hands that you've ever seen. She's got giant forearms. They look like those foam Hulk hands. She says, yeah, they held an arm wrestling tourney there a while back.

Speaker 1:

A bunch of tough customers, oh boy, so do you think we'll have any trouble? I don't know, talking to the leadership there, or are they kind of standoffish Like what's your take? We kind of have a meeting there. Everyone is standoffish up there. Okay, good to know. It's not like Wally's where everyone's your take. We kind of have a meeting there. Everyone is standoffish up there. Okay, good to know. It's not like Wally's, where everyone's your friend. That's true.

Speaker 1:

I raise my cup of coffee. We don't serve coffee here. Where'd you get that coffee? You take that crap out of here. They point to a sign on the window that says no outside food or drink. They make me buy a $75 thing of popcorn. What is this? An AMC? It's an AMPM. How has AMPM become such a force in our lives? Everyone always looks like they just want to kill us. It's very true.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I'm like nervous to go to the stone. It's just, uh, I feel the pain. Galen's like gently passing fiery gas in the corner. We're hearing like, oh my God, there's a fireplace going. It's like rumbling and, like you know, kind of licking the stones and every few minutes it just like bursts a little bit more power. Yeah, it's. I'm grateful that I smell so bad, because people can't. That's right, that's right. You still smell horrible, yeah, well, ok, well, you know, galen, if you're up for it, I say we hit the road and start our trek to the stone. I am up for it. I can't find cairn crystals in this sheet. That's fine. Yeah, I.

Speaker 1:

Sally says well, listen, there have been rumors of a big Scrockwing flying around so I would watch out if you're going up north. Oh great, I say you. Sure it's a Scrockwing and not a Manticore? Yeah, huge, I call him. Pitchwing Blocks out the sun. Pitchwing Blots out the sun. I suppose he comes from Scrocknest Mountain. That's crazy. Pitchwing Blocks out the sun, I'd say. Has Pitchwing been harassing people in town or just kind of flying around and being menacing? Yeah, talk to Alistair Jadley over there. You see a sort of portly boggart. He's dressed in fine garb but he looks like disheveled. We hop into the booth with him. He's just sadly eating some waffles.

Speaker 1:

I say, if you keep crying into your waffles they're going to get soggy. The only thing that should go on your waffles is syrup. My friend, I lost everything. Are you a merchant of some kind? Yeah, I lost my wagon, my chest, I mean my whole shipment that was going to Krikstop is gone, krikstop.

Speaker 1:

How'd you lose it? The bird, the big bird, the giant bird, came right out of the sky, plucked down, took my wagon and my horses. It was awful. Oh, my gosh, my horses, I mean my horses, just four horses. Hate your horses. Huh, that's rough. Well, that's horrible. Yeah, so just let me wallow here in my waffles, okay. Well, that's horrible. Yeah, so just let me wallow here in my waffles, okay, this isn't wallows, waffles and waffles, what was in your shipment.

Speaker 1:

Is it something you can replace? I mean, I guess, but it's money. You know it's money lost. So in that respect, no, I can't replace it. I lost it. I lost my money. Well, it's just money. At least you got out with your life.

Speaker 1:

You're asking a lot of questions. I mean, if you want to go up to the mountain and get my cargo back, I'll pay you for it. I'll bring over Galen. He's willing to pay us to go get that stuff. What do you think? Galen has a look of consternation on his face. Then you hear a rumble and he toots a little bit. Everything clears and he says, yeah, that sounds good. I mean, we're already going north. Maybe once we hit the stone we can take a look on the mountain.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, the question is do we do it before or after we recharge this thing? I'm inclined to do it before we or after we recharge it, just in case we have to scrock like Dragonbolt, to scrock wing and then recharge it again. I hadn't thought of that actually, but that's brilliant. Yeah, I mean like, when are you going to be just recharged again, buddy? Yeah, he's recharged twice. Hear me out, hear me out Likelihood like Helnar had it like half charged He'd been using it right.

Speaker 1:

Or like, you know, whoever in his family had handed it down to him with less charge than it began with. So any charge on it's going to be better off than he started with. Yeah, I guess I just don't want to be in the possession of pumpkins, that's true. I just don't want to be hunted by felmogs because we keep putting off our duty to them to get this going. No, no, let them come. I want to get their armor. It was like a lot of charm rolls.

Speaker 1:

I survived that last encounter with the leader, I don't know. I say we head there because we got to go. We got to go up the mountain anyway. Oh, let's do it. I'm completely up for that. His name's Alistair, alistair, jadnar. All right, alistair, you got a deal. Jadly, as soon as we, we're going to swing by the stone, set up an expedition and check out the mountains, see what we can find for you. You know it. I mean, that'd be great, thank you, just don't get yourself killed. No problem.

Speaker 1:

I like take a fork and grab a mouthful of his waffles, eat it and then jump up off the table. His tears were all in. That's not sanitary. Look, eat up, galen, we need the calories. He goes back and finishes the short stack of pancakes he left in the other booth. Then you gotta go hit the bathroom again. Everything's just going right through me, left in the other booth, and then you've got to go hit the bathroom again. Yeah, yeah, it's uh, everything's just going right through me.

Speaker 1:

All right, uh, do you want to make a travel check? Yeah, let's do it, I do. You're minus one, galen. Uh, I am. So let's go with the 12. That's eight, so it's roll a d12. That's an 8, so it's at least a 9. Let me see, yeah, realms is plus 2, so I'm at a 9.

Speaker 1:

Okay, that is an uneventful journey. That means you can search for resources. I say lots of rock formations around here. Maybe we can find some elemental components. I am going to wilderness, it is right, all wilderness. That's an 11, including my minus one.

Speaker 1:

Cool, james. Two, two, three, get travel check. That's a four. You see, cool, cool, cool, get travel check. Oh, yeah, hmm, that's a four. You see, oh, oh Four, you see, oh, scrockwing eats the party.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, actually, you know what this is. What happens? You guys pull up to the stone and you see the hammer. Oh, come on. No, sorry, you said we see the hammer. What the hammer? Our old nemesis? Yeah, no, I just didn't hear what he was doing. He's just like hanging out outside. Yeah, talking to other outriders. They know what we were doing. They've got stables out there. They have stables. This is like a Felmog outpost. Yeah, this is like the biggest outrider outpost. You know, I just assumed it was some guy in a cave at a stone. I really did. I thought it was just like a frontier fortress. Yeah, this is. This is more involved than I thought it was going to be.

Speaker 1:

I think Princess Bunny Bones got a good idea. She says quick, sneak by before you're seen. As long as he can't smell me, we're good. No, yeah, why't you make sneak checks? Oh, no, do you want to do that? So I'm minus two.

Speaker 1:

To sneak, oh boy, I totally do it. I'm not that. I'm not that kind of Guy. All right. Dummy thick legs you know they're a little clumsy. Dummy thick thighs save lives, man Between the stink and clinking armor. Yeah, it's a minus one. It's the worst troll I've ever seen. It's not possible. We've been playing how long a year like that's the worst troll ever in the history of land of aim a minus one. It could only be one worse. It could only be one worse. Let it be known.

Speaker 1:

Alright, riley, you creep by and get to the you know mouth of the gate, maybe. Um, I'll handle these guys while you recharge the spear, but, uh, now I'm gonna use my advantage to surprise them, if I have to. Just as you're passing by, uh, the hammer says what is that foul stench? He turns around. All you hear is me fart a little bit. And then he grabs you by the neck, like the back of the neck, my scruff, you're like reverse waddle, and reverse waddle, like a dewlap or something. And he says wretch, it's you.

Speaker 1:

I say, haha, I found you. I'm gonna say, oh, my gosh, don't touch him. And I say ha, ha, I found you. I'm going to say, oh, my gosh, don't touch him, he's cursed. And I grab his hand and I say now you're cursed too, buddy boy, alright, roll a trickery, check Me. Or James, james, I think Nine, I like it With your hat of trickery. Yes, plus one baby, come on, he pushes you to the ground. Don't touch me then. You touched me, you touched me, me, you touched me, you touched me first. Look, I think you have a thing my hammer. Yeah, whoa, whoa, whoa, guys, guys, guys. Let's say this is a family show, sir, I'm gonna show. I'm like three feet tall, I'm trying to get between the two of them. Hey, hey, hey, guys, guys, getting some really weird energy from this we're dealing with, we're dealing with a serious curse between the two of them. Hey, hey, hey, guys, guys, gotta be careful here. We're dealing with a serious curse. Nobody can touch Galen or else they'll stink forever.

Speaker 1:

You know we were sent here by I don't remember the name of the Felmog leader. Oh, oh, oh, oh oh, nycastar. It's one of the names we use a lot, the one in Bogtown. This isn't very convincing. What's her name? What's her name? I literally pull out notes. It is. It's not Casadar, countess, baroness Casadar, it is Casadar. She sent us a video.

Speaker 1:

I've heard rumors about you all. Yeah, we're pretty cool. Yeah, I mean, not everything here is true. Yeah, you're on the board. You're on the board. I'm surprised you came to show your face around here. Well, you know we are brave, okay, no problem, pull out your weapon. I don't think that's a good idea.

Speaker 1:

Is it a duel he's looking for? This is the last thing I need. Is it duel? Hold on, hold on. He's looking for. This is the last thing I need. Is a duel with Steven Felmonger? Oh gosh, hold on, hold on. You seem to forget our history boy. She's a girl. I'm not talking to her. No, no, he isn't. You don't remember? You ran away from Marshgate like the cowards you are. Yeah, tactical retreat yes, we are brilliant tacticians. We have unfinished business.

Speaker 1:

Is this like a castle kind of? Is there like a wall with, like a portcullis? It's more of a bastion. It's like built into the mountain, the mountain. Um, can I uh position myself to be inside of the gate and with the hammer on the outside and then gesture to galen to be like come on to this side and then use I for clues to spot like a rope that's holding up the portcullis and then cut it so that it just slams down and has to be repaired before he can get in? Yeah, the only thing that's stopping like.

Speaker 1:

You've kind of, you know, described the situation perfectly, because you were already passed, like into the gate, area Right and the hammer kind of blocked Galen. So the hammer is between Galen and the gate, so you'd have to get past him and he's like a wide night. Yeah, every time I try to walk forward, he just puts his hand out on my head Like no, but he doesn't want to. He, he doesn't want to touch me though, it's true, but he, he says he will touch you with his hammer. This is no good way to say that. That just that means he's gonna smash you, george. Yeah, yeah, smash that like and subscribe, subscribe. He's gonna ring my bell to be notified immediately whenever our show goes live. Wow, wow, that's funny. So, george, do you have anything to get past him Like? Can you like?

Speaker 1:

Gosh, your nimbleness, I can't tell if you're being sarcastic, gm sarcasm. I can't wait for this to fail. That's like the default that you have. Yeah, it's the default that I have a negative one now, negative two in, so it's just as bad as my sneak Again. Again, not that kind of knight errant I could dude. We could do lend a hand if it fails.

Speaker 1:

No, my brain's not thinking of anything right now. I have a bunch of abilities. I need to roll my search. I forgot to roll Eye for Clues earlier, but I do it with a Smashing Success. Nice, a Smashing going on. Come on, you could try it. I mean, worst case scenario is lend a hand and then we get one more shot.

Speaker 1:

But okay, yeah, maybe, uh, galen will try to leap over his head. You know, you know what I, you know what I do. I use the juridic rope. Use your uh, your wally's waffles and work farts to like propel you like a rocket. Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. Right, especially the last part. No, I'm gonna use the juridic rope as kind of an indiana jones whip to whip up to the gate and like leap over, use it to leap over him. Use it to leap over him.

Speaker 1:

Okay, I'm trying to get a check besides nimbleness, because I can command the juridic rope, maybe I can make a might check to leap over him. I would use my feat of strength to do this. I feel like it's more athletics than might check Athletics. Okay, wow, I turn into Wario. It's me, wario. An athletics check. You say, yeah, all right, well, this is significantly better than minus one. It is plus one. So now it's a flat zero. So let's roll a d12. I say, ha ha, there is you over your head. You launch the druidic rope, it wraps onto the portcullis and you leap past the hammer.

Speaker 1:

Who like swings? He's going to swing at you though. Yeah, swing and a mish, he swings at y'all. I like the idea that he just criticals me and I fall back to the same side of the gate, just ragdoll, sliding, yeah, like a pinata. That's a hit. Ah crap, he just winged you, though, jeez, beastly.

Speaker 1:

So I take three dread after my temporary HP's are, and I have a block here. Hold on, I think I have block because of my new ability, second skin, I'm plus one block. So I take only two dread, nice, only two. Well, because of the five temporary hit points I'm just not counting 24 hit points, 23, not bad. So 21 out of 23. I rather courage, not hit points. How silly of me, how dare you. Yeah, he wings me and I land on the other side grinning because his swing had taken him forward outside of the portcullis.

Speaker 1:

I'm going to be like whoops and cut the line so that it slams down in front of him. Film lock guys will be like whoa, whoa, let's go, we're ambushed, we're ambushed, as he's staring daggers at us. I'm going to high-five Galen to show that we can't touch each other. Yeah, yeah, high-five, I guess. A Tinker check, maybe Tinker Taylor soldier check. Oh my gosh, that's a six. Thank Glob for that, that's a six. Success with a twist. The poor Cullis comes down.

Speaker 1:

But, george, you take a bit of dread. Galen, no, I personally am taking this dread. I personally am taking this dread. One dread Is this something that my armor would block? Yeah, it kind of grazes your armor. Then I take no dread with my plus one. It was. It scratches up. I scuffs up my armor a little bit and I'm sad because now I have to polish it again. All right. So the hammer slams against the gate and curses you Get back here, cowards. He's trying to lift it. Get back here, cowards, he's trying to lift it. We casually saunter into where we walk off, feeling kind of awesome again, we never will fight this guy. We're just always going to trick him out of something and run away, use every power we can for a comedic escape.

Speaker 1:

All right, so you're walking through the halls of this fortress. It's high ceilings, it's a really good earthy texture, lit by torches. You see what was probably like an audience chamber up ahead. There are guards in front of the area.

Speaker 1:

I'm going to say we've been sent here by Countess, is it Baroness Kasadar? I have it. It's just, baroness, baroness, we've been sent by Baroness Cassadar in Bogtown to meet with the Sorcerer. The Sorcerer, you sure you want to do that? We have a relic of great power that we've come to have recharged. For Sir Halnar the Red, yes, for some importance. For tell of you two Anything good we all just like immediately grab our weapons To arms. Yeah, no, the Outriders have your fair game. Well, we're trying to make it right. Yeah, no. Yeah, writers have your fair game. Well, we're trying to make it right. Slay you. We're doing the best we can. They can certainly try, and I know they will.

Speaker 1:

The sorcerer is indisposed at the moment. Ah, he's occupado, as they say, speaking with Countess Fiora. Countess Fiora, I've heard a tale of Countess Fiora. Her beauty is beyond compare. You hear the echoes of the hammer like open it, open it, and the simultaneous grunting. What's that? Oh, it's nothing. It's nothing, forget about it. It's all A bunch of guys straining at the gate. Yeah, like ten guys that can't. Yeah, that's too funny. Do you know how long that the sorcerer will be occupied? Oh, that's too funny. Do you know how long that the sorcerer will be occupied.

Speaker 1:

You hear behind the closed double doors some shuffling, and then the doors open and you see what looks like this gaunt robed man with no hair. His eyes are sunken and when he gazes at you it just gives you a cold feeling. Tears as our souls. I say out of the way, out of the way. Out of the way, out of the way, move them. I am moved. Okay, alright, no touching, no touching. There he is.

Speaker 1:

The guard says hey, mr Sorcerer, sir, sir, he's walking, not looking back at you. We keep up with him. I'm going to sheepishly follow him. Be like, when you have a minute, there's no big rush. I just came a long way to talk to you. He starts going up this winding staircase. Is it cool that we're talking like this? I'll start jumping from one step to the other because they're slightly too big for me to just walk up. You're like using your hands. Yeah, like clambering, yeah, like a child. Is it okay if we ask you a couple of questions? We've got this.

Speaker 1:

I don't know this kind of sort of epic artifact that the Baroness asked us to bring to you and to talk to you. You know, when you have a minute. Turn around, what artifact. I hold it up behind Riley the Dragon's Bolt. We found it. His eyes sort of widen, yeah, and everybody seems to say, uh, he's going to kill us. He's going to kill us. We have succeeded where others have failed. Yeah, the Baroness Cassadar. She said that we should bring this to you and that you could recharge its power for Sir Halnar the Red. I pat his back because I feel like he's choking on phlegm. I'm choking on the absurdity of this. Come up to my jeep, we do it. We shall speak there. Okay, I want speak there. Okay, I want to open a window.

Speaker 1:

It seems like you're going really high up these stairs, mm-hmm. And for his like decrepit appearance. He has incredible stamina and he's actually outpacing you. He's undead. He has no like stamina meter. He's just always. I look above his head and it's just like a full health bar and a full stamina. He's just got nothing but like rings of plus nimbleness and athleticism. Yeah, um, every few steps, galen, like panting, panting. I like have to take a second, like I'm sitting on a on a stone step. I just can barely go any further. This guy's like not human. I said come on, riley, you don't want to be standing behind me on these stairs. You gotta go. You're right, we gotta get our cardio up. We're gonna climb the squawk squawkness mountain. Yeah, for all we know, we're're already up Skrockness Mountain. Yeah, you're climbing these stairs for like 10 minutes and once you get to the top, you see this sort of bulbous imp fly over to the sorcerer and remove his vestments, like the sort of ceremonial felmog garbs he was wearing, and he looks like a shark. He's like a shark with his knees underneath. Yeah, excellent. He turns to you and says you're journeying to Skrockness Mountain. You heard that. We thought we'd take a look.

Speaker 1:

Some folks have been complaining about a giant Scrockwing called Pitchwing that's been eating a lot of horses and so Quite fortuitous. Oh, do you have an errand? Yeah, I look at our quest log and I look at this guy and I say we got room. I need an egg. Oh boy, what kind of egg? Scrockwing egg? Oh, a Scrockwing egg. I need to hatch a new imp. Wait, you need imps for Scrockwings. I mean a Scrockwing eggs for imps. It's an experiment. Galen's intrigued. I'm going to look at the imp and shrug like what's that about? Imp rolls his eyes. Sorry, master. And in exchange for us giving you this egg. You will recharge the dragon bolt, you get the egg and something else. What's the something else? It's your choice. I have a list. Interesting, I say go on. Then I gotta say I'm very interested to hear this list.

Speaker 1:

He uh consults some of his uh books and, um, let's see A River Sword Tale, teeth of a Sea Chimera. Oh, that's easy. That's easy. Two giant mythological creatures, a shard from the core of the last tree. Oh no, we can't do that. One man, we're trying to save that thing.

Speaker 1:

Dust from the fairy queen's wing in the riddle spinny. Dust from the fairy queen's wing in the riddle spinny wing and the riddle spinny. And the riddle spinny is that in the drippy downs? I say, scratching my head, uh, huh and uh, is there more on this list, like more options? Or, uh and a bottle of milk, two cloves garlic. Bottle of milk, unsalted butter. Yeah, you got a river sore milk. A bottle of sea chimera. I'm getting all mixed up here. Leave the spear with me and I will imbue it. If you fail, I will keep it, that's fine. Alright, may we let people know that the spear is safe with you, because I don't.

Speaker 1:

Sir Hanlar is kind of angry with us, and there may be a guy at the gate that's kind of angry with us too. The Outrider, filth does not care. Yeah, they're going to keep coming. They despise me Really, really. Yeah, we inquire, I despise them. Why is that? You're a being of such great power? Are you tremendously misunderstood by them? Yeah, tragically, so Tragically misunderstood. The fools running around like ants Squabbling over nothing, that's true. All they should be thinking about is the will of our master. And who's that? He just looks at you and smiles when you see his like yellow baked bean teeth. Baked bean Can't stand you. All right, well, we, we, I want to make a perception check. Yeah, all right. Well, we, we. Um, let me make a perception check. Yeah, yeah, galen, does not even bother trying.

Speaker 1:

10. You notice like the decor in this room is is a little different than Felmog. There's a lot of bones and severe-looking. I guess what you're guessing is magic items that are black and twisted. Yeah, don't trust this guy. I mean, I don't trust any of these guys, not Princeton, I only trust you really. Well, I think that I kind of want to talk to the imp Like Alone. Yeah, hey, galen, why don't you talk to this guy? Well, this all sounds great.

Speaker 1:

We will take your list into consideration and see what we can do. I see we're very hungry. We're take your list into consideration and see what we can do. We're very hungry, we're very famished. Is it possible that your servant there could lead us to the cafeteria or kitchen? Nice, I like the idea they have a cafeteria, the mess hall. Yeah, that's the one, the mess hall. We're very hungry, but it's really hard to get around this place. It's confusing. So be it.

Speaker 1:

We follow the imp down the stairs for a billion years. Yeah, it takes us 10 minutes. Actually, was there another way out? From wherever high we were, can we see out windows and see where we are on the mountain? Yeah, there are windows in this keep, this tower that you're in. Also, you're giving him the spear in this scenario, correct? Yeah, you look out, and Can I watch where he puts the spear, like when we give it to him? Does he leave it in this room? Disappears in his hand. It's gone from this mortal plane. Yeah, he takes it and he puts it on a pedestal and is examining it. Okay, crazy idea, george. Oh, no, indiana Jones, it it's nuts, it's nuts, but I have. Okay, I'm excited. Um, real sorry, real quick.

Speaker 1:

Out the window, we see how high we are. Is there, are we at like a higher level of scrock, wet, nest, mountain, or like, where does this all end up with us? I mean, you're, you're like on a peak, like here. Okay, all right, so it's not. Um, looking at the windows of, like a sheer drop, is the, is the like town, ish, like below us, clearly. Or, paul, sheer drop the town, there's no town. Or the the fort is like inside the mountain below you, I see. So you could like, theoretically, drop onto the stables or something. Okay, okay, yeah, we should. We should head down to the mess, though, so we can talk window, it is a window. It's not an open window. Yeah, got it, just kick it open and jump out. Well, I was thinking, maybe and we'll talk about this once we are free I already know where you're going with this, 100% know where you're going with this, all right.

Speaker 1:

So we're at the bottom of the stairs, we're panting, the imp is bleeding away and I want to ask the imp so you like working for your master? Oh, yes, yes, master, john Deere, john Deere, that's his name. John Deere the wise, ah, the wise, he's so wise, like the tractors, he seems very wise and he has his own master too, and it's wise to follow that master. Who is that master, by the way? The Gloom King, ugh, oh, he kind of shows us and catches the attention of other people in the mess hall. The Gloom King? Oh man, this is bad news bears. This is bad news, bears indeed. Indeed, he works for the Gloom King. Do you wash up the Gloom King too? Oh, I mean, I'm sure he has good ideas.

Speaker 1:

Every night, we say the words, the words. Oh gosh, I don't think I remember the words. What are the words I? He proceeds to utter some horrible speech. He proceeds to utter some horrible speech. I say oh, yeah, yeah, how are you doing? I like repeat it best I can, but on purpose, don't say it right. I don't even want to. I don't know. I don't want to. You don't want to chance it. Yeah, you might be pledging your soul. Say it wrong and the wise will hear it and hurt you. You have to say it right. I better not say it now, because I'm parched. That's why I got to get something to drink. She's going to trip over her tongue if you make her say it right now Gosh so hot in here. Everything's crazy.

Speaker 1:

Does everybody else here worship the master? I don't know. Why are you asking me that? Oh, because I just figured it's like. This is the place. This is a great place to be if you worship the master, I could tell my friends.

Speaker 1:

Or are all these other people heretics? That one, yes, yes, they're all heretics. They're heretics. I say, why does your? Why does your? John john dar, jaldir, jaldir, why is he here? Yes, john john dear, what? What is he jaldir? Why does he? Screaming in the room? It's echoing like Felmognath. It's super awkward. I say why does he suffer these heretics then? Why does he work for them, or work with them? Rather, the Countess, countess Fiora, yes, yes, they talk. She's up with the master too. Then she's a friend. You're hurting my brain, I know. I gently massage his scalp. I don't touch it. God, I really want to know that they're either in cahoots or not. It's just got to be like they're using each other to achieve their ends. But I wonder what Countess Fiora's goals are.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, what's your name, by the way? Imp Servant Name? Yeah, you probably can't say it, mixerplick. Just call me Bof. Bof, all right, bofel, you've been great. We really appreciate everything you've done for us. We're going to go check out your master. You almost said it Buff, buffle, you were great at God. Ah, yes, that's the one. It's a good imp name.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, do you want anything from the mess hall while we're there? Yeah, tubestake Five. You want five tubestakes? No problem, we'll bring we'll, we'll, we'll. Well, I don't want to bring it back up. They'll be ready for you, they'll be ready for you.

Speaker 1:

What about your plan? Does it involve going back up right now or later? Well, I was thinking about maybe climbing up and stealing stuff, scaling the tower like we're Conan the Barbarian. I see, at this moment you hear the gate finally rising. Gotta go, gotta go. Let's shuffle away and lose ourselves in this place.

Speaker 1:

Going to the mess hall, just keep trying to avoid him. Yeah, we just pull cloaks over our heads and shuffle around. Where are you going in the mess hall? What is your aim? I was just trying to get. I guess I wasn't. Actually, now that I think about it, I didn't intend to go to the venice, all at all. It was just a reason to get out of that room, um, but, uh, yeah, you just wanted to talk to galen like the gloom king, that's no joke. Like we can't, yeah, we can't help this guy. Lord knows what he's trying to do. Uh, gloom King knows what he's trying to do. Um, I say uh, I say uh, it's true. And I I wonder if we aren't getting in above our heads. Right, we set out to deal with a serpathy threat and I don't know how the gloom King figures in any of that. If deal with a serpathy threat, and I don't know how the Gloom King figures into any of that, if he even does, I don't know either. But if we don't take care of this Ser Haldar situation, we're going to be hunted by Felimog guys forever. I truly wonder.

Speaker 1:

You turn around and you see Weldor yeah, riley has to make a. I turn right around and try not to be a. I turn like right around you like he's right there. He's standing behind me, isn't he? Yeah, exactly like that.

Speaker 1:

Um, what is it that you're doing in here? This is preposterous. This is a mess hall, first of all. This is where people eat. Yeah, why would you ask such a question? This is preposterous. This is a mess hall, first of all. This is where people eat. Yeah, why would you ask such a question? We're here to get to know what a mess hall is for you hear the booming voice of the hammer saying where are they? Oh, is that your boyfriend looking for you? Wilder, I think it's your boyfriend looking for you. Sorry, that was great, that's not. I'm disappointed, I thought you had better banter than this. Look, sorry, that's so great. Are you hungry too? Because that's why we're here. We're here because we're hungry. Why don't we let bygones be bygones? We'll pick up a seat and you won't die.

Speaker 1:

I look at him quizzically and I don't question it. I say, all right, he takes you, like through the kitchen. I take a handful of oyster crackers while we're at it, oyster crackers served with Nork noodles. This is a fine cuisine. You see, like a kraken about to be like cut up with a butcher knife, imported from Skalowag Strand. You know what I mean. Yeah, these tomahawks, they go big on everything. Imported from Skalo X Strand. These snowmogs go big on everything. Yeah, where are we going? Weldar, just shut up.

Speaker 1:

And he takes you out of the kitchen back through what looks? It seems like between walls in this fort, sure, like between the outer and inner wall, like yeah, yeah, yeah and um out of another door, outside of the stone, like to the east of the main gate, east To the east. I turn to Weldar, kind of bewildered, and I say why would you do this for us? Some weird things have been happening and we keep crossing paths and I find that odd, odd. Yes, but perhaps we're not so at odds. There has to be a reason.

Speaker 1:

You know, we weren't always mortal enemies, galen. Is this true? Is this true? I mean, the hammer is your mortal enemy. He will kill you, yeah, but he keeps trying to hammer me. It's not. I don't know that I trust the hammer anymore. I turn to. I turn to riley briefly and I give her a nod, thinking back to the time where she convinced me that the hammer may be leading welder astray. It's part of our, uh, one of our conversations late one night, yeah, and I say riley, riley never stopped believing in you, welder. Are you? Are you the man that she believes you to be? I mean I wouldn't go that far, galen. I mean, just because welder's like got it together, he's got his career going and he's really handsome. Yeah, the hair, all that stuff, got that hair and this cloak. It's just amazing. But the hammer is definitely.

Speaker 1:

I mean, go on, waldar, I'm curious to hear what you have to say about your violent friend. It's not just him, it's everybody. It all has to do with the Sarpathy. I know I said before, just to stay out of it, I thought the Felmog could control them, but that's not the case. They're far more powerful. I say they and I think there's something even worse at work. Yeah, I mean jeez, your sorcerer worships the Gloom King. I just blurt out, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, perfect. And then I'll tell this Jaldir is not my sorcerer, and I know that. And that's exactly the point.

Speaker 1:

I think the gloom king is involved in all of this. I say he must be involved. That's, the gloom king has his tendrils and everything in the land of beam. You mean the gloom king and the Sarpathy together. I don't know. So there's no way they could be that organized. I don't know that. I can think of something worse. Yeah, look, I don't have all the answers. I've just been hearing, seeing some strange things. Do you know if all of the Felmogs feel this way, or is there a conflict going on? Definitely a conflict. The Countess and the Sorcerer specifically. They are very tight. That's good to know, that's good. Everyone around here fears the sorcerer. I can see why, rightfully so.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I turn to Welder and I say when you first joined the Felmog Knights, why? Why did you join them? What did you think they were all about? And how is your current mission different? Or the film of nights different, mission different?

Speaker 1:

I never had a choice scaling. This is my heritage. This is who I am. I'm the son of an outrider. We grew up together because we lived near each other. That's just it. I was never one of you. I look at Weldard deeply and I say you always could have been one of us. That was a choice you could have made. Your heritage doesn't have to define who you are. My entire family, is that not the better? I try to make an inspiration check. Like I say is that, is that not? What your heart yearns for is to be free of this dark heritage and to go back to the do gooding that we did when we played together as children.

Speaker 1:

So you were the best of what? Best of all of us? Minus two, minus three because of my wound. Hold on, can I give a pep talk? Can I give a pep talk to give him an advantage? It is, yeah, we're moving back to the minus three, capped at minus three. Capped at minus three. I want to do pep talk to give you an advantage on this role. Before you do it, I appreciate it by saying saying, after all, we're all Mucklanders. Mucklanders, by the grace of the universe, please, yes, nice, 12. Here's two rolls. Oh, yes, even with a minus three, we're still at a nine. That's amazing.

Speaker 1:

A one and a twelve yeah, he takes off his helmet. He's beautiful. You hear, yeah, you see his flowing locks, galen, even you are captivated by it. Obviously, riley is. I try to fix my hair a little bit. I let out a bit of a fart because my gut you see Zona inbox pen suddenly stop as he looks, he's also taken. Yeah, you hear commotion towards the gate and Weldar says come on, let's go. There's no time. Get on my horse. I look at Weldar and I say I'm sorry, I stole your gauntlet. What? Get on the horse. It's nothing. Yeah, that was awesome. Yeah, so he rides. Where's your, where's FB?

Speaker 1:

Fb is probably a ways away in 25-8, tied up to a pole outside the castle. Yeah, fb, the entire time the hammer was like pounding at the gates. Fb was eating grass right next to him, just like lazily eating grass. Yeah, rolling her eyes. Yeah, I mean, I feel like you wouldn't have. It's like lazily eating grass. Yeah, like the twinkle in her eye Rolling her eyes. Yeah, yeah, I mean I'm. I feel like she wouldn't have taken it up there.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, she's at least a hex or two. Uh, we could have traveled on foot and left her at Wally's or, or just a. Yeah, left her somewhere far. Well, I assume she's in the same hex X, but like I saw the hammer and wanted to sneak by, she's smart enough. She did. She's her own woman. Fb, it's true. Yeah, she's probably smarter than you. I would not be surprised.

Speaker 1:

Doesn't have the capacity to speak? Yeah, there's also. Maybe I just don't have the. There's also a rule that the mount is always safe, right, when you it's like you assume that you're not moron about it. It's a bold assumption of you to make about Kaelin.

Speaker 1:

I tie her to a tree filled with tigers. How do I get to the tigers in the tree? You're holding the torso of Wildar, as his hair is like bouncing in your face. I have like a big smile on my face. Galen rolls his eyes. It's now his turn to be like.

Speaker 1:

Riley will admit to nothing. Yeah, ben's dying. Riley will admit to nothing. Yeah, ben's dying. You got him. You got him when he drank. You got him. It almost killed him. Yeah, take your time. Water went down the wrong pipe. Click on the mute button, though. I got to give him props for that. Oh, yeah, so you can get FB and sort of.

Speaker 1:

I don't know when do you want to go to hash things out? Maybe we go a little bit west. Maybe get to the base of Scrockwing Mountain. Okay, like here. Yeah, because I Deeper into the Blender Bluffs.

Speaker 1:

I think we should not help the Sorcerer but see if we can trick him. Or I honestly don't know that the Felmognites, our Outriders, will ever stop chasing us, regardless of whether or not we give this thing back to Helnar. That's true, the Hammer won't, but the others will. Oh, he heard my inner monologue. No, okay, I say, well, that's good insight then.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, so we are incentivized if we can, if we can get this thing charged, and then essentially like betray the sorcerer, then maybe that's a solution, or screw up the sorcerer, because I was thinking like what if we go in there, steal the spear back, destroy, destroy his like library lab in some way, or steal stuff from it and like hide it all, bury it in the dirt. Well, one thing that we could do is, uh, perhaps just like determine a structural weakness in the tower and then pull it down from the outside. That seems more extreme Destroy the stone. We're going to destroy it. Slay Siege to it. Raise a small army and lay Siege to the stone for 10 years. Basically, catapults just painting off the side for a decade, like the Sie for 10 years. Yeah, basically, catapults just painting off the side for a decade, like the Siege of Troy. Yeah, I mean, I get what you're getting at.

Speaker 1:

I think it would be wise to betray the sorcerer in some way, or at least you know. Here's another crazy idea we steal the Scrockwing or we steal the egg and we lead the Scrockwing to the tower. Yes, he's probably just going to zap it out of the window. Though he's a sorcerer, why wouldn't he get himself? You're going to kite the Scrockwing. Yeah, back to the town guards.

Speaker 1:

Basically, essentially, if we could get the Scrockwing to go after its egg and the egg is in the tower then like, obviously the sorcerer is not strong enough to just go get the Scrockwing, or he would have got the egg himself. Right, he was walking up the stairs like it was nothing. I think he's too busy. Possibly he's too busy. Highly likely he's just a busy guy. Whether or not we fail, he's going to get a struck wing egg eventually. True, probably. It's like a. It's like a grocery list for a rich person. They're not going to get it themselves. Yeah, yeah, capable of it it's.

Speaker 1:

It was a good dream having this croc wing like, destroy the tower, like be so epic. I mean it was a good dream having the Scrockwing destroy the tower by swooping in. It'd be so epic If you could pull that off. I mean that would be one. That would be the one surefire way to take care of the sorcerer, because I don't think we could beat him in a fight Scrockwing. No, we could not beat the Scrockwing. I don't think we could beat the sorcerer. Scrockwing destroyed the. We could not beat the Scrockwing. I don't think we could beat the Sorcerer. Scrockwing destroyed the tower that the Sorcerer was in. He's not going to live through that. Well, dar says you have a better chance Killing a Scrockwing than the Sorcerer. Yeah, that's my point, exactly. Agreed, agreed.

Speaker 1:

Um, we wield dark, dark magic. Very few people Are capable of such things. I say with good reason. That kind of magic corrupts you to the bone. He's giving himself over to the corruptors. He had those eyes, you know, yeah, those dead, sunken eyes.

Speaker 1:

I say, welder, what's your plan? Hopefully you weren't seen helping us. I don't think we were. It's night. Okay, look, I haven't thought this all through. I mean, you said some really inspiring things back there. It kind of made me question everything. Don't be wrong, I was already questioning things. I just I actually don't know what I'm gonna do things back there. It kind of made me question everything. Wa Ronald's already questioning things. I actually don't know what I'm going to do. There's got to be other Felmocks that feel the way you do. They're all pretty dumb. I'm surprised, touche, at least not around here.

Speaker 1:

Welder had the benefit of an upbringing outside of the Felmox. I mean, his childhood was tempered by us. Riley, it's true. He knows that there's another life out there. Too much credit. Still a dick, forget it, I'm done.

Speaker 1:

I gave you a chance, guys. Still a dick, forget it, I'm done. I gave you a chance, guys, guys, guys. Leap off the horse. Yeah, throws up his hands. I guess you're on FB now. Yeah, I am on FB. I leap off his horse onto FB.

Speaker 1:

Riley, did you want to go with him? Oh, yeah, of course. Sorry, it's fine, riley, there's just so much weighing us down. You know the world and all that. You can let go. No, got it. I'll jump off the horse, but I'm not going to go away right away and I'll just kind of fix my shirt and be like, okay, alright. Riley actually sniffs her shirt because it smells like it. Now, I'm so strong I'm never gonna take a bath. So, um, I would. I would suggest that you do take a bath, galen. Yes, no, cursed, cursed, cursed. I have hygiene. I am aware of how hygiene works. You know, if that was me, I would do everything in my power to get that lifted. Yeah, yeah, you know it's, we just let it skate. Request, request, request.

Speaker 1:

I say, if you were being chased, if you're being chased by fel mugs, would you prioritize the fel mug thing or the curse? The curse is, you know, the curse is the worst curse I can think of. There are worse curses out there Besides. You know, going bald or something. Yeah, that's amazing, going bald or something. He Fab himself and like in that moment one strand of hair falls out and he freaks out. Oh, my god, I need some argan oil. Yeah, wow, um, all right. Well, I don't even know where to begin.

Speaker 1:

Galen, Like what the heck? I say, welder, how can we contact you in the future? I'm not going anywhere. You're going to be at the Sorcerer's Stone, whatever it is. How about we meet him at Wally's in a fortnight? I'm not leaving, I'm coming with you.

Speaker 1:

Oh, really, you sure you want to do that If he wants to come with us, galen, no, no, no, no, it's not about that, but I mean he could be more useful on the inside. Still, I guess that's true. I say what? What, welder, I want you to do was right for bringing me out. Now you're putting me back in. Put me back in, coach. I say, well, they're, you're welcome to join us, but if you do that, there's no going back for you. I want you to be sure about what you're doing.

Speaker 1:

I only want you to question the immediate purpose of the film on nice. There are certain things at play that we all agree on, like the serpathy. Now you make a fair point. There's more knowledge, more intel that I can gain being there. Does he know about the eyes of Ek? Oh, yeah, yes, I can't remember if that's how we learned about it because it was like 10 years ago it was literally 10 years ago, I think.

Speaker 1:

In your backstory you did the first adventure, even though we actually didn't play it. Oh, that's right, we talked about this. We didn't play it on the stream, but we did play the Starter Adventure. Yeah, I'm aware of the Izevec. I'm aware that even now they're making progress, getting more and more of them. I think they have four or five by now, good Lord.

Speaker 1:

I'm just trying to see if I have anything I can give to Welder to help him out. Probably doesn't need anything. But Galen, make a travel check. Disadvantage because it's night time. Five minus that's a six. It's a bump in the road. Roll a d6. Roll a d6. Oh boy, oh boy, roll a d6. Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy.

Speaker 1:

Unwanted attention. I quickly hand Weldar the mossy blanket and I say well, it depends on who the unwanted attention is from. You don't know. Okay, okay, um, I, I regardless. Okay, fair enough, I. I hand him the mossy blanket and I say look, whatever you do you, uh, you know you may need to hide. This can be very valuable to you. Hide, this can be very valuable to you. Maybe it can keep you safe. You shouldn't keep that. I'm really bad at hiding. That's why this will help you.

Speaker 1:

No, no, no, I don't think that works. I'm trying to be nice to you. Did you get that logic, galen? No, I don't you suck at something, so you use an item to help you? No, that's not how any of this works. So humble, look, I'll take it.

Speaker 1:

Sure, it's pretty gross, though what? Actually, I don't want it. I'm going to be honest. I don't want it. I appreciate the gesture, alright. Well, yeah, it's more about the gesture. I just want you to feel like you're a crew now. Yeah, like, nothing that you have is really as good as anything. Like the cloak I'm wearing is like better kind of it's like I'm not going to use this. It's going to be vendor trash. This is holding up a string of leaves. Yeah, I'm like it's good, it's really good. Still, it's the best we got. Yeah, yeah, it's fine. So we gain unwanted attention. I try to make peace with Wilder.

Speaker 1:

So we were traveling in the night, ben, yeah, as you're traveling away from the town. So where do you? You can move one more west. Yeah, more west, you go 23.7.

Speaker 1:

I think we head up the mountain because it might be a great way to escape the Felmogs and we can always help out the Alistair, but I think during their travels up this mountain we should figure out what we want to do about that sorcerer, I agree, and the Helnar situation. And what do you want to do about Veldar and his alliance? I was thinking like go back to the stone, like maybe we could rendezvous with with him, like in a couple of weeks, or like rendezvous with him at some location in the future, like the next full moon. You know, we'll meet you here. I mean, alternatively, if we're definitely coming back to the sorcerer the next time we come back, then we can all leave together. Yeah, and we could use this help to infiltrate or do whatever we got to do. That's a good idea, because we might need him on the inside. The hammer will probably be gone by then, because he'll be looking for us. I mean, he could mislead the hammer, that's true. He could say hey, they went that away. They went deep into dirt nap dunes, deep into dirt nap dunes, deep into dirt nap dunes so deep, so deep, it's not dangerous at all. Yeah, they're sleeping with the wargs over there. You know, just like in some cave, wild goose chase? Yeah, no, but I think that Welder would be most useful on the inside as much as he'd be a powerful ally against the Skrock wing and everything else.

Speaker 1:

But I have another idea for an ally we can get in the the Blunder Bluffs. What are you thinking? Her name is Linda. She's a manticore. We freed her from the. That's true. That's true. She went flying off towards the Blunder Bluffs. It cuts to us riding the manticore down the mountain. Ah, bad day, bad day, bad day. So that's what I was thinking. I'm thinking Maybe we can hunt down Linda the Manticore. Yeah, get her aid Manticore. Yeah, get her aid. Get her aid Exactly Because hopefully, she's been reunited with her family at this point. That was her whole goal, if I recall it correctly. I think you're right, galen. Yeah, find Linda. I say we both turned a well down where we got to find Linda. He just looks at us like whatever man, it's your show, whatever you want to do. But yeah, I like that.

Speaker 1:

I like the idea and James, feel free to disagree with me, but I like the idea of putting him back in for the duration of time until we return to the sorcerer's supplies. We can tell him like we'll return to the stone in five days or something. Well, the only problem is, where are we going to get a bottle of milk? Roll into Wally's, you got any milk. Or river sore tail? All we got is warg milk. All we got is warg milk and rat milk. It's all we got. I'm also concerned about where we're going to get this ancillary item of the tail. Rat milk is bright yellow. Everyone knows that. Sorry, where are we going to get the? I don't want to go to the last tree and take a shard. No, neither do I. I mean it feels bad.

Speaker 1:

River sore tail, always River sore tail, river soar tail. Is that just in river country? Sea chimera, teeth? That seems too far away to get, unless we can find someone. We've been heading back to the Scallow X-Ran for a long time though. Yeah, that's the question. Right, do we want to do a cross-country trek and come back to the stone? Well, we could. Oh, and are we making? The closest thing to us is probably a river sore tail, because, like, look at that, like it's only a few hexes away and we're in river country, a few hex grains, um, are.

Speaker 1:

Are we camping for the night? On a side note, yeah, probably be a good idea is. We're probably getting close to where we want to wrap it up. Yeah, yeah, I, uh I say maybe this is a good spot to to rest. Well, dar, uh, you know, let me, let me try my hand at cooking for you. Uh, to just, you know, we can break bread together.

Speaker 1:

Um, galen's going to try to hook this Nakedonkey Reaver into Nakedonkey Gumbo. I love it, and we're going to see how horribly wrong it goes. I am going to be like secretly sprinkling spices in there. Yeah, you'd be like trying to assist me, but I'm trying to do it so that you and Weldark can have some time together. You know, hash things out, as it were.

Speaker 1:

What kind of check is Cookery? Tinker, taylor Soljo, free check. Hey, that's not bad. That's with my penalty. All right, riley's, with my penalty. All right, riley's, just like Spicy Reaver gumbo. Talking with Weldar and her hand goes over and sprinkles something in the pot while I'm stewing away Chopping up some ruts to go in there, I'm like, yeah, it's an old family recipe.

Speaker 1:

Get an Akedonkey Reaver, get some bones. You got yourself some bones. Any bones will do Like shells. What does the gumbo do? Plus one mite for the next 24 hours. Nice, feel pretty good. Yeah, I'm going to cross that off our supplies.

Speaker 1:

Riley doesn't know why, but she's got some energy. She's like doing sit-ups and crunches and stuff. We're all feeling like really like we're doing Kung Fu in place Play fighting like we were when we were kids. Riley, it's actually great to catch up with you. It's been a long time, yeah, yeah, it has been a long time. It's great to catch up with you too.

Speaker 1:

How are things outside of the looming apocalypse and your separate ties with your order of Felmog Knights? She wants to know if you're seeing anyone and Galen goes back to brushing up. Galen, shut up. Sorry, sorry, I mean barely have time to get out of my armor, let alone meet anybody. Yeah, I hear that. I say Riley, stop drooling about him getting out of his armor. Stop, it's right here. I don't even verbally respond, I just put my hand against his face. Alright, galen leaves him alone. Maybe, when all this is over, you could take some time off for yourself. I wouldn't even know what to do. There's a Firefly Festival just south of Rascleton. That was a blast. I nudge the jar closer, shake it a little bit and leave it.

Speaker 1:

Sha-la-la-la-la-la-my-oh-my, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful. High quality content. Oh, that's funny. That's really funny, man. It's beautiful, that's funny. That's really funny, man, it's beautiful. It's just more and more transforming into like a surfer bro, oh God. Snaps out and is like I should go Hate to even run. We'll meet up in a few weeks All right, we'll meet you at the stone Gets on his horse and waves and he's off into the night. I wave until I can't see him anymore and then I like sit down and like, just like, like, just like, just a sigh.

Speaker 1:

I want to believe that like welder looks like kurt russell from like overboard or something yeah, you know. Or like deep 80s kurt russell yeah, deep 80s. I picture like a cross between like overboard and like Snake Plissken. Yeah, uh-oh. This role's happening for terrible things. It was one. It's good, though. It's great we're together at least. Yeah, together, right, I can't tell if he's including me in that sentiment or if it's just him, and Riley Zona has like furiously been writing all this down.

Speaker 1:

He's like there is a third player who has entered the game the epic love triangle story. Yeah, I'm sorry, roll the d20. Rolling a d20. Rolling a d20. Thank you, eleven, eleven, eleven teacups, riley, as you're looking out into the night for like way longer than you needed to. You see something in distance. Huh, maybe like 25 feet away.

Speaker 1:

It looks like Weldar is coming back. Hey, weldar, did you forget something? It's a big shape that like when you speak to it, ducks behind some rocks. Weldar, what are you doing, ducking behind those rocks? Like I'm gonna like start walking out towards it. Hey, galen, weldar's back. Wait, he left. Left, you guys like still he's gone.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, as you get closer, you see like a hunched, hulking form, hairy creatures like purple um, and you just catch the whites of its eyes in the moonlight. It's giant eyes. I'm gonna like stumble backwards, like totally shocked. On its chest Is it a blemish? Yeah, make a charm check. You're correct, george. Nice charm check. Ooh, all right, oops, like I recognize those shapes Clicked on the wrong thing here. Oh boy, I am not charming. Ooh, you are charming in the sense that you look like food. It's a four. Yeah, that's not great.

Speaker 1:

You hear a roar and then you see the mouth. It's like a giant, grotesque mouth on its chest. It actually has no head and you feel the hot breath on you. It smells not, unlike Galen. Poor Riley getting it from me and the dummy. I'm gonna bolt towards the fire, poor Riley getting it from. I'm gonna, like, bolt Towards the fire.

Speaker 1:

Alright, galen, you see Riley Scrambling over and you just heard a roar. There's a monster, a monster. I'm still eating gumbo. Say monster, monster, a monster. I'm still eating gumbo, say a monster, a monster. You hear like a loud pattering, thumping, like going around the rocks like circles. You Good thing I'm plus one might. So this blemish is coming hot. I say is it possible to reason with blemish? Yeah, you can try. I say, hey, friend, come sit down down, join us at the fire for some gumbo. Um, I'm gonna say that your stench actually is a bonus with the blimey. That's, that's fair. That's hilarious. Yeah, I smell just like the mouth. That's hilarious.

Speaker 1:

So make a charm check. But do you have minus one or minus two to social? I think he's just so. I have something even worse. It's called disadvantage. Oh, okay, well, you'll have advantage. That's hilarious, that's hilarious. So it's d12 times 2d12, 2d12, 10. And then I'm at a plus zero from my charm check with the penalty. So it's a 10.

Speaker 1:

Say, come, stay a while and listen. You see this creature sheepishly reveal itself. It's horrifying. Just imagine my face. Like look away. It's horrifying. Just imagine my face, like Look away, it's hideous.

Speaker 1:

Gumbo, yes, gumbo, he seizes it and just like, he actually takes the entire pot, yeah, and eats the entire pot. I still have my bowl. You can see his teeth just gnashing the metal. It looks like a wad of gum. High iron content for you. Looks like you were hungry guy.

Speaker 1:

It's good, the flowers grow around here. I'm sorry, oh god, you're not sorry. You're not sorry, it's good. It's um, yeah, they do. They pick a flower and hand it to the guy. There's a unicorn, what is it? There's flowers growing in FB's back. This Unicorn flowers on FB's back.

Speaker 1:

This is my house. You don't know what he's pointing at. Just like making weird gestures. Yeah, I'm saying you live around here. You live here. This is your home. Yeah, in the blunder bluffs. Yes, home, yes, home.

Speaker 1:

Have you had to hide from the Skrockwing lately? Yes, fb is all pretty good. You wouldn't happen to know the easiest path to get to Skroknest Mountain, would you? Yes, do you think that maybe you could lead us? He's just saying, yes, yes, galen, this is great. At first I was scared, but it looks like we've got a guide here.

Speaker 1:

Are you going to eat, riley? Yes, what was that? More, more, more. I say what's more? You give a blemish and gumbo. I say what's your name? Let me, let me, oh, let me you blend, let me Galen, riley, fb. It's on a inbox. No, nob. Eat, no, eat, no, eat.

Speaker 1:

He grabs Riley by the head, eat, no, friend. Oh, yes, friend. I'm going to point to everybody. Friend, friend, friend. Go through the chicken and the horses. Friend, friend, friend, go through the chicken and the horses. Yeah, friend, friend, friend, oh yeah, claudia is like clicking around.

Speaker 1:

He grabs Claudia by the wing. She's the lizard. It's like she's flapping Fire in her eyes or his eyes. Friend, friend, not food. Hey, zona, inbuck. Hey, can I borrow your diary for just or your journal for just one second? No, don't, don't feed him the journal.

Speaker 1:

Can I draw a very crude image of the hammer and hand it to the phlegmy and say num, num, num, num, num, num, so delicious he rips out the page and eats it. Nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom. So delicious he rips out the page and eats it. It was worth a shot. I'll toss the book back to Sonny Muck and now I have one less page to write my novel. He's writing a novel. It's like not even. It's not even non-fiction. He's not even Trying to say it's non-fiction. It's a novel, though it's a full on novel.

Speaker 1:

I say to this blemy I say, sleep, it's a Riley X Galen fanfic. No, no. I say to this lemmy I say, sleep, it's a really excalibur fan. No, no, crap. Do we have more food? I have one ration. I got some rations. I have my legendary salted meat that survived like 10 minutes. Don't give him that. I'll give him the. So there's no way he's not going to eat the whole ration. Yeah, I'm going to give him just a regular ration, alright. He inhales it Through his nose, he snorts it, fuck. He's saying, yes, wallow, it's just in his stomach. Oh, sleep, yes, sleep tomorrow, eat, yes, yes. Um, he's kind of drapes himself everywhere. Yeah, he's like drapes himself everywhere.

Speaker 1:

Let's end it there. I have to take this call real quick, sorry, all right everybody. Well, thanks for joining us. Yeah, thank you. Indeed, ben has to end the stream, though. That's the problem. Ben has to take a phone call, but Riley and Galen are about to essentially go to sleep with a wandering monster.

Speaker 1:

The blemmy came in. Um, I'm actually gonna go, uh, sit on top of the blemmy and and sleep on him because he's comfortable. He smells horrible. He does smell bad, but it's cold out here. I think you're used to it by now. Yeah, it is. Yeah, I'm totally desensitized. Yeah, hey, I'm back. Sorry, oh my gosh. Thanks for being here, princess Funny Bone. Yeah, thanks, princess Funny Bone, for joining us. It's always fun.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, if you guys, we've been playing the Mucklin Sandbox Land of Eme RPG. If you're interested in checking it out, you can go to LandofEmecom and download it for free. The Kickstarter is going to be launching in the not-too-distant future, in which case the game will be filled with art and cool stuff and you'll be able to essentially just play it out of the box. The sandbox is the only thing that we play. It's like a big campaign setting with hundreds of locations and characters and quests.

Speaker 1:

Ben's claim to fame is that, uh, he does little to no preparation before all of our streams. We're just kind of rolling in here, hanging out and playing the game Cause it's fun. I actually did like the most prep I've done in a while. Today I could tell like really, um, uh, make sure to join our discord where people are. Yeah, funny bone, make sure to join our discord where people are. Yeah, yeah, actually and you know, sorry, here's a personal appeal We've got a lot of people that are putting games together and looking for group section and anybody that's interested in GMing land of aim. We're looking for additional GMs. There's already like suites of characters and players that want to get going people trying to find groups. So if you want to run a game, download this stuff for free and you can see how easy it is to run. Awesome, that's it, everybody. Have a wonderful weekend, guys. All right, see you next week, all righty.

People on this episode

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Ben Costa

Co-host
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George Higgins

Co-host
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James Parks

Co-host