Land of Eem: Actual Play
Join Ben Costa, James Parks, and George Higgins as they play the Land of Eem tabletop roleplaying game, inspired by the series of fantasy books: Dungeoneer Adventures and Rickety Stitch and the Gelatinous Goo.
Ben Costa and James Parks are the creators of Dungeoneer Adventures, Rickety Stitch and the Gelatinous Goo, and the tabletop roleplaying game, Land of Eem. They have been friends since the 2nd grade, and love making stuff together.
Lovers of fantasy, they strive to craft tales that celebrate the adventures of unlikely heroes. Ben and James grew up playing tabletop roleplaying games, creating countless characters and collaborative worlds with our pals, a pastime that paved the way for their creative careers, as authors and illustrators.
Land of Eem is a tabletop roleplaying published in partnership with indie game publisher, Exalted Funeral. and is about adventurers exploring and discovering the remnants of a forgotten better age. Described as The Lord of the Rings meets The Muppets, players portray lore-seeking travelers, fortune-seeking pioneers, and adventure-seeking heroes in a time devoid of them. But for all its post-apocalyptic doom and gloom, Land of Eem is tonally quite lighthearted and droll.
Dungeoneer Adventures is a fun, middle-grade fantasy adventure series from Simon & Schuster, about the only human kid attending the adventure school, Dungeoneer Academy. The books are packed with illustrations and available at Target, Barnes & Noble, and Amazon, or you can ask for them wherever books are sold.
Rickety Stitch and the Gelatinous Goo is a fun YA graphic novel series from Random House, about a skeleton bard and his best friend on an epic quest to discover who he was when he was alive. The books are available through Exalted Funeral or online at Amazon, and you can ask for them wherever books are sold.
For more visit:
https://landofeem.com
Land of Eem: Actual Play
Land of Eem: Fantasy Actual Play S03E09 | Scroknest Mountain and Humongous Geese
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What happens when you’re scaling the treacherous Scroknest Mountain, debating whether to snag a precious scrokwing egg for a sorcerer with shady ties? Join Ben Costa and James Parks—creators of Rickety Stitch and the Gelatinous Goo and Dungeoneer Adventures—along with chief gamer and George Higgins, as they relive chaotic mountain escapades in the Land of Eem TTRPG, played in the Mucklands Campaign Sandbox Setting and published by Exalted Funeral.
This episode is packed with laughs, nostalgia, and strategic decisions as the team confronts the mighty Firebeak, debates side quests for giant geese *(like for real big big gooses), and celebrates the infamous story of how “dummy thick legs” became an unexpected hero. With creative solutions like druidic ropes and kite-flying antics, the adventure blends hilarity with tactical gameplay.
Peppered with nods to pop culture icons like MF Doom and Hong Kong Phooey, the episode adds an extra layer of fun to encounters that include mining contests, mysterious disappearances, and concocting bizarre remedies for a sick troll. Whether charging into battle or forging unexpected alliances, the team’s camaraderie and friendly competition shine through in every twist and turn.
The stakes rise as they uncover the secrets of the Land of Eem, confronting colossal creatures and uncovering hidden truths in a world teeming with humongous geese, formidable foes, and spectacular blunders. Perfect for fans of Fantasy Actual Play, Collaborative Storytelling RPGs, Rules-Light Indie RPGs, and the dynamic TTRPG community, this episode promises a thrilling and comedic journey.
Download the Land of Eem Quickstart Guide for FREE, and join the adventure today!
https://linktr.ee/landofeem
Hey guys, hi, happy Saturday y'all. Happy Saturday. We survived Friday the 13th and made it to Saturday the 14th. It was close. I almost got murdered last night. We all witnessed it. A bunch of orches knocked his door down. Tried to cook him over a roasting fire, but Ben with his dummy thick legs just kicked him out of the door. Oh yeah, fire, but ben with his dummy thick legs just kicked him out of the door you know, welcome to the land of eem hey, princess, funny bone. Thanks for joining us hey hey, welcome.
Speaker 1:This is the 49th episode, guys are we gonna do something special for 50th, or is it? Is it gonna be one of those things where next Saturday we just say to ourselves oh crap, it's 50. Do we do anything special? Probably that.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:We're not big on anniversaries. We have a history of not celebrating, judging by how many times we said we're going to upgrade the stream or something it's you know. This is it. This is what you got. This is the stream or something it's you know this is it this is what you got. This is the stream.
Speaker 3:It's raw, it's real.
Speaker 1:So you know how you guys doing Pretty good, pretty good, doing great. Yeah, last time on Land of Eem, you guys were at the base of Scrocknest Mountain, right yeah, last time on Land of Eam, you guys were at the base of Scrocknest Mountain in the Blunder.
Speaker 1:Bluffs, you were considering getting a giant egg, scrockwing egg, for the sorcerer at the stone. You know, don't know if you're going to do that. I don't know what you guys are going to do. I don't know what you guys are going to do. You had a Not a confrontation, but A sort of what a reconciling With Weldar. Yeah, that was awesome. He's beginning to question things. It's nice to think that he's. You know that he's growing too. Like all characters in this grow Good or evil One way or the other. You know he's growing too. All characters in this grow good or evil One way or the other.
Speaker 2:He's becoming.
Speaker 1:Maybe he's returning to his childhood. Goodness, we'll see. He could still turn on us and kill us. It's true, it's true, and the sorcerer has an allegiance to the Gloom King, which is horrifying Allegiance. That's why we were wrestling with how we handle this. But I think that, heading up to Scrockwing Mountain, we might be able to find some solution along the way for how to deal with the Sorcerer, yeah, sorcerer.
Speaker 3:The Sorcerer ronin sarser.
Speaker 1:He just uh, cast sars on everybody. So the kind of sarser he is, wow the sarser, it's too soon dude it's never too soon, um, alright, uh, so I guess you're heading up the mountain, sounds like heading up the mountain we also gotta check it out to see if we can find the things from that merchant who was robbed. Remind me what happened with the blemmy. I think he's still with you. Oh boy, did we get his name? Did you write it down?
Speaker 2:I did not write it down.
Speaker 1:I think he just said Blemmy His name is Blemmy. He calls himself R Blemmy R. Blemmy Blemmyton Points to himself and says R Blemmy, r. Galen R Riley, r Blemmy R.
Speaker 2:He's a pirate.
Speaker 1:Blemmy R, he's a pirate. Blemmy Yar, you guys look through your stuff and he ate another one of your rations. We are down to one, at least I might. I have one. I have one left.
Speaker 2:You have one, I have one.
Speaker 1:We've carried with us for many streams and I've never failed the roll. I love it. On the bright side, I have one. We've carried with us for many streams.
Speaker 2:And I've never failed to roll. I love it On the bright side.
Speaker 1:I have room in my pack again. That's good Room for a Scrockwing egg. I'm just going to do this for the interest of the stream. I'm going to go ahead and roll to see if the lizard and the firefly Consume the final, consume, the final. Yeah, consumed the final ration I got, but it's D8 ration I got. I got a good feeling. They don't, they just take some little nibbles and they keep looking at the blemish. Yeah, wow, they just don't want to get eaten by the blemish for eating his food. They do not.
Speaker 2:Edit that.
Speaker 1:It's a nice crisp morning on the mountain Morning dew Gracing your Mountain dew, the mountain dew graces us. What do you want to do? You want to start the hike? Yeah, I think we just need to start. You want to start the hike? Yeah, I think we just need to start heading at the mountain and see what we encounter.
Speaker 3:So our current things yeah.
Speaker 1:Dumbly follows you. He keeps going. He keeps telling Claudia, uh, our baby. And Claudia kind of keeps moving away from him because, yeah, our food she runs. Zodium Buck is having a field day with us. Yeah, this is a great little aside, comedy gold, a side story. When a blemish comes to eat, gotta get those steps in. Yeah, Alright, george, make a travel check. I do it. Am I still wounded from my bubble guts? I will say that we're off. I appreciate that 12.
Speaker 2:That's a 12.
Speaker 1:I'm going to roll the discovery Toon T9. It is, it was a D100, right For the discovery D100. Sorry, yeah, d100. Yes, d100 from Princess Funnybone says sorry, yeah, d Hondo, yes, d Hondo. From Princess Funnybone says keep Galen's thighs thick with climbing. Yeah, galen's thick thighs, he's doing knee raises all the way up yeah, yeah. Riley, come on, let's do. Mountain climbers, let's go.
Speaker 1:I'm tired already you cross paths with a bugbear who's alone. He looks decked out in hunting gear. He's got a big bow and arrow Quiver of arrows, he's got an axe and whatnot. This guy's awesome. He's like a bugbear mountain man. Yeah, he turns and says Ho Hail R Reilly, mountain man. Yeah, he turns and says Ho Hail R Reilly, you haven't seen a big pterosaur, have you? No pterosaurs? But we do know that there's a Skrok wing around. Oh, you must mean old Pitchwing. Yeah, yeah, that's the one. That's the one. Well, I'm looking for Firebeak, firebeak, great, it's a Transformer.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:I'd say I mean, I hate to ask the question, but fire beak breathes fire. Do pterosaurs breathe fire? No, his beak is red, bright red like fire. I see what you've done there. My name's pull grub, pull grub. I was gonna ask I'm on my trial. I see what you've done there. My name's Polgrob Polgrob. I was going to ask I'm on my trial, your trial. What kind of trial is that? Tell us more. I've become a master hunter in my tribe. Oh, very cool.
Speaker 1:How long have you been trying to complete your trial? I've been out here for days. It's a heck of a trial period. I'd say, how far are you from your village? Are you guys local to these hills and mountains? About 20 miles west, I'm sorry. What does that mean? In hexes, each hex is six miles across. Okay, there's like three, three ish, 3.3, three inches away, three inches, um, I say, is it are we allowed to help you on your your trial, or is it is that? Uh, are we allowed to help you on your your trial, or is it is that a poor form for you? We don't want to get in your way.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:Anything goes anything goes All right. Well, in that case maybe we should stick together, because we're heading up to the top of the mountain and if, uh, well, that's where pitch wing is.
Speaker 3:It's true.
Speaker 1:But which wing is it's true, but maybe you can spot.
Speaker 3:Firebeak along the way.
Speaker 1:Along the way. How have you been tracking Firebeak? I've been looking at the trees. They're filled with fire owl pellets. It's said far more delicately than I was going to say it, looking at the canopies climbing up, seeing if fire beakers rested there. They hang from trees. You see Claws, talons shred into the trees. Jeez God. So many jokes I'll say. Terrastros has large talons. Where was the last tree that you saw Firebeak roost in or had roosted in it's in the area?
Speaker 2:Huh, I wonder if they like to return to their roosts.
Speaker 1:Let me see if I have any abilities. It's in the area. Huh, I wonder if they like to return to their roosts and they see if I have any abilities. You know I got rid of all my really fun creative abilities. I'm regretting it.
Speaker 1:Um, can I use eye for clues to identify uh scratch marks like on a bunch of trees that are going up, like in one particular direction, as if it's working its way up the mountain. Sure, stretch A dewey with a nine, a dewey like a Hong Kong fooey. Alright, hong Kong Fui. All right, hong Kong Fui is the number one super guy. If you remember, were you trying to do MF Doom Eric or something? I mean, yes, fui like a Hong.
Speaker 3:Kong, kong phooey, um you guys.
Speaker 1:I was succeeding, I was succeeding at doing an mf doom, I wasn't just trying, man they make one mf doom reference.
Speaker 3:He went too soon.
Speaker 1:Ah yeah, that's a heartbreak, not necessarily family friendly, but man, it's some. It's some good stuff. I was a fan. All right, you, uh, you climb, hike further up and um, you do see these marks, as Riley has pointed out. Uh, paul Grubb says, uh suggest, he's on the hunt, he's hunting something. What does wait? What do they hunting? You, he's on the hunt, he's hunting something, what does Wait?
Speaker 3:He's hunting you, he's behind you.
Speaker 1:No, wilhelm scream. What do they eat? That's a good question, riley, very astute. They're carnivores.
Speaker 2:They eat meat.
Speaker 1:Obviously, a pterosaur would eat, like any meat. They don't discriminate.
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 1:They like big things. Big things, you say Maybe if we could set a trap. Make a perception. Check. Everyone's looking at me. All of us, oh dear. Oh, it's a six Six, get down. All of us, oh dear. Oh, it's a six Six, get down. Yeah, you see, firebeak, it's Firebeak. Yes, in the tree, yes, yes Is it sleeping.
Speaker 1:No, no, no, it's like a sort of a standoff. And then it leaps from the trees and its wings are massive. I'll show you a picture right now. I always get excited when Ben has pictures ready to go, almost ready to go, ready to go, almost ready to go, ready to go, and ready and ready to go. Oh boy, he looks like he doesn't have a high IQ, but he's got a big appetite. That's what I'm getting from that picture. Yeah, so it's swooping towards you. What do you do? I leap into its mouth. What I like it. Um, how big is its mouth? First of all, like, can it swallow one of us whole into its gullet? Um, it is a giant creature. Uh, it could swallow riley, definitely. Like you would take some bites like a seagull eating a french fry.
Speaker 1:Yeah, uh, I just want to believe, like, have you guys seen the pictures of pelicans just trying to eat everything? Like they'll go up to like small animal, like a dog, and they'll just put its beak around its head and the dog will just be like what's going on?
Speaker 2:I'm not okay with this terrifying. Yeah, they'll eat. Try to eat small children.
Speaker 1:They just try to eat anything. Terrifying creatures that's how I think of a pterosaur. Anyway, so are we. I turn to oh my gosh, what's his name? And I have to keep scrolling 16 pages down. I turn to Pulgrim and I say what do we do? Bring him down.
Speaker 3:And he pulls out his bow and arrow.
Speaker 1:Claudia jumps on my shoulder fires a golden arrow, takes down the pterosaur in one blow. All right, top of the round, do you?
Speaker 1:want to do anything other than attack. You could try to wrangle it somehow. Yeah, what is that? Oh, you know what I think I might. I think I might do a feat of strength combined with the juridic rope to try to Like wrangle him as he flies by. Ok, I'm not like, yeah, yeah, I think. I think that Galen thinks it's gonna work, but I think everyone watching thinks differently. So, um, what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna yeah, I'm gonna kind of try to loop with the guy's neck with a juridic rope and maybe slam it into a tree.
Speaker 2:okay, where you want to treat that as like a combat action.
Speaker 1:Now you could make a, might check, but yeah well, like, sorry, refresh my memory what wrangling a monster is. It's like wrestling it. It's sort of like parlaying with it without parlaying like it's. It's uh, scaring it off, or oh dealing with it in some other way, that's not just killing it.
Speaker 1:But I feel like he, pilgrim, has to kill this thing, right, firebeak? It's like part of his, that is true, okay, so then I just want to. Yeah, princess Funnily Bones got a good point. I mean, much like a crocodile, it doesn't have strong muscles for opening the mouth, but man can it slam them shut. I'm going to stick with my original thing of trying to slam it into a tree with the feat of strength ability. This is, pterosaurs have stone crushing might. We're in a might off. When they attack, they ignore armor, and if they're challenged with any feat of strength, literally with my ability, their challenger rolls with disadvantage.
Speaker 1:Okay, doesn't matter. Crazy strong Doesn't matter.
Speaker 2:I feel like I believe and I can lend a hand and I can lend a hand, because I believe Doesn't matter.
Speaker 1:Crazy strong Doesn't matter. I feel like I believe and I can lend a hand. And I can lend a hand because I believe, because you believe in a thing called Galen's Dometic Thighs. I mean, they're both equally almost bad, but that's a six. Okay, you get the juridic rope around the around the fire beaks, beak and uh it takes you for a ride and you uh, you start slamming into trees.
Speaker 1:Fog hat slow ride starts playing. Uh, you take four. Dread as you slam into a tree. Bad day, bad day, bad day as I go flying by everyone tied to this thing. But I'm going to start trying to climb up the rope next round, okay, and then Riley, what are you doing? I love the idea. I think I'm gonna shout out galen and run after him and try to grab him and hold him down.
Speaker 1:Um, I think it's just it's happened too fast, um, too fast. That Prince is funny, but I'm literally like a small child being taken away with a giant kite. I think this is just. He's just whizzed by.
Speaker 2:Yeah, this is totally on brand for Galen.
Speaker 1:I'm going to bolt after Galen and like chase after the thing. Then I mean, I feel like it's it's swooping in the area, right, Like it's tacking, it's not fleeing or anything Right, it's just. I just don't think you'd be able to like grab Galen.
Speaker 3:Okay, yeah.
Speaker 1:I might try to poke it in the butt with my halberd. Yeah yeah, I'm try to poke it in the butt with my halberd. Yeah yeah, I'm going to do that, I'm going to attack it. Okay, you poked me in the butt with a halberd, but how about this, ben? How about this? Oh, no One is an abject failure, but Riley has bonuses, right. How about this? Oh, no One is an abject failure, but Riley has bonuses, right? I am plus one, so this is two, would that?
Speaker 1:give me like a minus two. Hmm, so you just stabbed me. Nothing happens.
Speaker 2:I was going to say it might help me climb the rope a little faster.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm like shaky.
Speaker 3:Like I poke him in the butt Ow. Riley yeah, it's like I'm like shaky, like I poke him in the butt.
Speaker 1:Oh, riley, uh, yeah, roll d6. Dread against apologies, apologies for this. Oh my god, I'm also plus two. Draw dude, you know, you know what it is is that galen is still tender from the hot wings, the hot haunt challenge. I did maximum and you just right in the sweet spot, right in the kisser, so I'm at 16 out of 23. You want to roll for Polgarub? He's got plus three. Attack with his bow it's a nine, so plus three is a twelve, but minus two. You said Okay, so that's a ten. He hits with a bow, damage A d10.
Speaker 3:D10, wow so much dread.
Speaker 1:Dread. It's six damage Dread photo.
Speaker 3:It's 6 damage, dread Dread.
Speaker 1:Okay, excellent, alright, now it's turn. Alright, now it's turn, it's going to swoop. Attack against Polgrub. Makes sense, makes sense. Ooh, very close to being critical. Ooh, very close to being critical. That could have been rough you know what I mean. Ben, I have block. I'm gonna take back a couple pieces of damage. Ooh, that's rough, obliterated 14.
Speaker 1:Dread to Paul Grubb. He's just knocked back to the ground. It's going to make a might check to break free from this rope. Hmm, it fails to do it, but it does let out a screech. Um, does that do anything? Or is it just our ears unnerving? Yeah, exactly it's uh, literally a terrifying screech um everyone metal check metal check. Oh no, oh, I critically am metallic, I'm metal, mario I got an 11. Alright, galen, you are emboldened. Get plus one to all actions for the encounter Huzzah, I love it and Riley you are emboldened, get plus one to your next action.
Speaker 1:Oh here we go. Let's see what happens with Paul Grubb. Oh yeah, you want to roll for him, ben, go for it. Whoa Catch, all right, all right, all right, this guy is hired. You know, he's part of the crew. Now I'm going to do something on my turn. I'm going to make a discerning eye check and I want to say that Firebeak has been in many battles and there is an old, rusty spearhead lodged near it's one of it's, like you know, the scapula, where its wings are. And, uh, I want to say that that exists and if I get to it, maybe I could shove it deeper and ground this bird. Okay, let's see if I perceive this to be true. Uh, seven, okay, uh, it's true, but what is the twist? Uh, but the twist is that, uh, but should we say it's somewhat difficult to get to, or or how about this? It's in a spot where he can probably attack me if I try to shove it in, like he could rotate his head and get at me.
Speaker 1:Okay, or like spear you with his head spike. Oh, yeah, yeah, all of these things are totally exciting. Okay, does that seem reasonable? Yeah, cool, and that's my turn. Right, using the ability. No, that's not. I appreciate it all. Right, uh, roll roll initiative perception yeah, do it do it? Oh man, why couldn't I? Uh add that, wow, we're using up all our good roles right now. Let's see where pull to use that one falls in the end. Or, oh, is that program? Yeah, is that the? Uh? Yeah, that's the program. Yeah, okay, so you two are up. He's still getting back up riley. Um, just hear me as I go flying by, I'm going to club the creature with the Nimbus Hammer twice in a row. Moonbooth Nice, huzzah, both 10s, because I'm plus one and minus two, minus two. I keep forgetting those are both ace counter attackos. Not good, that's worse.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I know can I use a quest?
Speaker 1:point on one of them. Uh, yes, I'm gonna do that so there's, I mean you could use it on both gosh actually you know what I will. No counter attacks is really good, okay, roll damage nine excellent okay it's taken 15 nine excellent okay, it's taken 15 dread.
Speaker 1:You wallop the creature with the nimbus hammer and it's like huge neck, just like like giraffes fighting. Meanwhile, galen, you're still like giraffes fighting. Meanwhile, galen, you're still hanging from the rope. Yeah, I climb up to try to get onto this creature. Oh, it's not good. Whatever it's gonna be. Well, I don't know what kind of check you want. Athletics yeah, okay, I'll. That would be a five.
Speaker 1:I'll use a quest point to make it a six okay um, I'm gonna say you, uh, you lose control of the rope, hmm, in the process, and it kind of like slips off. Am I still on the rope or did I get onto the? You're on the creature, okay, but then your druidic rope falls to the ground. Yeah, riley, get the rope. And now it's its turn. It now attacks Riley. Oh boy, oh goodness.
Speaker 2:Oh, riley boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling.
Speaker 1:It has swoop attack where it can't be countered. It's like a swoop bike and it deals. Oh well, well, sir, no, all right, I'm at five temp hit points. Save me, I would have been knocked out. Is this a Stout Heart situation or are you going to save that? I'm going to save it.
Speaker 2:All right.
Speaker 1:And then it kind of bucks its head back at you. Swoop, there it is indeed.
Speaker 3:Swoop there it is indeed. Swoop there it is, hello, hello.
Speaker 1:I am at a zero. Okay, so that is a miss. With a counterattack, I kill it. Come on, galen, wallop him, wallop him.
Speaker 1:Has three actions and it's uh, swoop attacks, pole grub now swoop baby, swoop baby wow, pole grub is getting cream. I'm just grateful he exists because that's taken at least one of the attacks that's lucky that's so lucky. That's two critical hits in a row. Yeah, um, yeah, okay, oh, righty, time to to get crazy. Now it's Paul Grubbs attack. He's like on his last leg and why don't you roll it, george? I'm leaving a thing called Polgrub. Not great, it's a three plus. It's probably just a four then.
Speaker 1:He's just he's so winded. He looks disheveled, but Claudia jumps on his head and fires the golden arrow as her one combat action.
Speaker 3:In slow motion she flutters up to his head.
Speaker 1:Yeah, still haven't established how she does it, but she does it. There's been set precedent. Still haven't established how she does it, but she does it. Um, there's been. There's been set precedent. Uh, what's the uh maximum dread for, uh, magic arrow? I don't remember what's a bow Six, I think it's just six, I think it's uh, I mean, it depends on, I don't know, who's shooting it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's a battle chicken what does she normally do?
Speaker 1:I can't. I didn't write it down.
Speaker 2:What class is?
Speaker 1:she oh, you know what? Yeah, that's right. Was it a D8? I? Think it's only a D6. It was not anything like super amazing. No, no, no, you're right. Once per combat range, attack D8.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's hilarious now mobile, so it's a dread yeah, okay, cool.
Speaker 1:So remind me how this works. It just hits, yeah, the golden magic arrow, just no, it automatically hits and applies maximum dread, and it is uh, it may be retrieved after battle. She throws it like a javelin though. Yeah, she just yeah, the golden arrow pierces the hide of the pterosaur, like right under its wing, but it's still kicking. I give Claudia a knowing nod. Next round, my friends, next rolling initiative. No, that's not good. Paul Grubb goes.
Speaker 2:Paul Grubb.
Speaker 1:I fire his arrows. That's one total eight. Goes Old Rob. I fire his arrows. One total Eight With a ranged attack. That's Glancing Blow, I guess, right.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:That's after the minus two Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Whoa Polgrip has plus three right plus three minus two minus two okay, but he also has plus one all actions oh true, that did he get it but I guess he can't.
Speaker 2:Maximum bonus is plus three, unless you apply the plus one bonus after I mean yeah, unless it's, I guess he can't. Maximum bonus is plus three, unless you apply the plus one bonus after I mean yeah unless it's it does it in order.
Speaker 1:It counters the negatives.
Speaker 3:Please excuse my dear Aunt Sally.
Speaker 1:Okay, so he would be plus two. It's a hit. It's a hit.
Speaker 3:It's a hit it's a hit.
Speaker 1:It's a hit, that's a hit. Roll it up. You 10 damage. Come on, yeah, arrow flies. Another arrow goes into fire, beacon he reaches. No one is terrified by a screech. Yeah, we just feel like we've gained the upper hand, which may not be true at all. You ain't so bad, you ain't so bad. What was your initiative? Riley, maximo, maximo, flank of Maximo. Why do I not see this? I don't see it either. Oh, new initiative Hold on new initiative 9 Sorry.
Speaker 1:Okay, you're up, dude. Oh my goodness gracious, I'm a Nimbus Hammer Bam bam. Look at that, your rap Dirt. Oh my goodness gracious, I'm a Nimbus Hammer Bam bam Look at that. Seven and eleven Minus dose I'd forgotten. One of them is a hit. Yes, one hit. At least it's a clean hit. Five dread You're plus one. No.
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 1:I'm plus one attack, ah, I upgraded with oh, and you're plus one also to all actions, too, right? No only?
Speaker 2:for the one round.
Speaker 1:Oh, that was only for the one round. Okay, got it, matt Tom. Okay, no, only from the one round. Oh, that was only for the one round. Okay, got it, matt tom. Okay, uh, galen, you're, you're riding this thing actually I'm flying, I'm flying.
Speaker 1:sorry it's it's turn. Yeah, uh, and I'm no longer riding this thing here. In a minute it attacks riley, oh no. It attacks Riley, oh no. Mmm, uh, it's a critical hit. Gonna Stout Heart. For what it's worth, I feel like the Stout Heart should just allow Riley to get swallowed whole Whoa. That's amazing. What actually happens is that it grabs you in its beak and drops you down, flies up like into the trees and drops you down. It's like a, like a turtle, you're like like you're a tortoise hang glider oh, I love the idea that riley can pop on the hang gliderider.
Speaker 1:So what's stat heart D8? Got to roll for it, though I think. I don't think that's what it is. I don't remember because I did not write it down on my new sheet. New sheet who dis?
Speaker 2:Bear what are you?
Speaker 3:doing.
Speaker 2:Bear, what are you doing?
Speaker 1:So I mean you're going to take an incredible amount of damage. Yeah, I'm going to be. It's like 18, 20, 24 damage, and I think that I think Stoutnower just halves it, I think Stout Heart just halves it, so I would be well under zero. It's 24 damage. What did you say? 24? What is it 24, so I take 12. I'm at 5. Minus 7. So I'm at 5. Minus 7, yeah, minus 7,. So you're at 0. Yeah, and see if you're wounded.
Speaker 2:Oh boy.
Speaker 1:Above 6, right To avoid a wound. What am I? Vitality 6? 6ity Six, good enough? Good enough? Am I minus, though? No, that'll do, shrim, that'll do. It's like Riley just rockets to the top of the trees and collapses. What it's like, riley just rockets to the top of the trees and collapses.
Speaker 2:What.
Speaker 1:The pterosaur does the same maneuver, like bucking back at you, bucky, this bucky pterosaur Plucky is what he is. Wow Gosh, what is it? Come on, he impales my face with a pterosaur spike spiegel. Can you lessen that in any way? I can shrug it off, but I just block 1d8 dread. Alright, so that's 16 dread. Okay, so I shrug it off, so it's 14 dread or 15 dread because of my inherent plus one block, and then I'm going to roll vitality to see if I shrug it off to. No, that's not it. Okay, well, that's amazing. I mean, that's amazing. Yeah, hopefully, with the d8 that I used to shrug it off is going to be.
Speaker 1:I don't think you need to roll uh I mean, I have shrug it off I have roll vitality once per session. Block one d8 threat for level six ability. That still feels kind of like wimpy. Yeah, that's what I was saying I thought you just block it, like you don't have to roll to see if you do it.
Speaker 1:Ah, so that d12 is my attack let's hold up, let's put that one on the dock, we're gonna hold on to that one parking lot that roll, so I block five damage, so I take 10 damage. I'm down to 8 out of 23. Oh, my goodness. I still stand, though, and it's my turn. I believe in you. I'm going to try to I'm able to get to that spear thing yet. Yeah, I heave myself grabbing clumps of Is it scales or feathers on this thing. Is it like a pterodactyl? Sorry what? It has? No feathers. Okay, I like grab its leathery skin and like haul myself up to the spear and I swing my fist, fist down, trying to plunge it deeper into its shorter.
Speaker 1:it's a 10 well, plus a might check, but it'll be at disadvantage because of its incredible might. Ah, so that'll be a four of the two of them. So that's two, it's a six, it's a six. Okay, you plunge this thing deeper. But, yeah, I wonder if I like lose my footing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you're flying off of the.
Speaker 1:Maybe it crashes and me along with it, or I don't know. Either way, I'm going to take damage. Roll a d12 for dread against this Three. Oh no, it's clearly in pain, but you fall off and you take three dread. I've clearly annoyed it. Yeah, and it flies away, leaving you. We didn't get it, we'll get you next time. I see that it was like really wounded, bleeding.
Speaker 2:Yeah. I all grub is wounded, bleeding. Yeah, I run over.
Speaker 1:Riley, yeah, shooting after it, but let's see if he hits.
Speaker 3:Bang bang.
Speaker 1:It's a grazing shot. It does not bring the creature down. Graze anatomy, riley, you can roll a D6 plus your does not bring the creature down. Graze anatomy, riley, you can roll a d6 plus your level and heal that much courage. Ten, ten, that's really good for me. All right, george, so shrug it off. The benefit of shrug it off is you don't have to make any check, you just block 1d8 dread and it's once per session so you can use it multiple times, whereas once per combat you can't do that. Once per session I can use. I see the benefit of it, but you would spend quest points to do so. Got it? Yeah, right, I mean we could change I don't know, I don't know what?
Speaker 1:uh, I don't know I mean 1d plus you level. Too good, we'll, we'll. We'll talk about it later. I'm not it's. I think it's fine. It's just not as good as I think. What it used to be was what you have the damage. We didn't want to make it be too similar to stout heart. Stout heart used to be like broken where you just like one, use it to one.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean broken as a GM, but not as a player. Especially a tiny shrimp can be destroyed by anything Vulnerable. I am vulnerable. As soon as we get up the mountain we'll see the thing flapping in the air, just escaping, and then the Scrock flapping in the air just escaping, the Scrockwing will swoop in and eat it. We turn to Pilgrim and say hey, you know, any means necessary, right, Anything goes, it got away.
Speaker 2:I don't think I.
Speaker 1:You okay there, buddy.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm going to use muster courage.
Speaker 1:I'm going to use muster courage on the party.
Speaker 3:Nice.
Speaker 1:And heal us a d12 plus my level. Nice, boom, 19. I feel courageous again. I'm full. I'm so full of courage that helps our bugbear friend. I thought you were at 8 or something. What was that? He was at 5?.
Speaker 2:Me or 3?
Speaker 3:Yeah, well, I healed 19 three years.
Speaker 1:Yeah Well, I healed 19, right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, oh, that was 12. Sorry, no 19.
Speaker 1:That's a lot.
Speaker 2:It is yeah.
Speaker 1:Um, we tell our bug our friend, though you won't get healed though, unless you actually permanently joined the party. So so you, we're going permanently join the party. So we're going to need your bow, if you understand.
Speaker 3:You have my axe. This is my father's bow.
Speaker 1:Because it's clear you couldn't have had any chance with that thing on your own.
Speaker 2:They basically think you're going to die.
Speaker 1:They kicked their butts big time, all of us at once. I was planning on kiting it through the woods, kiting it, I was going to kite it.
Speaker 2:Kite it back to the town guard.
Speaker 1:To the town guard. It's only a couple hexes. It's fine, my golden arrow. I forgot you were there. He pops out behind a rock. He's like terrified out of his mind. Yeah, the face on his chest is like fearful, like his whole chest is scrunched up into terror. Um, my golden arrow is stuck in this rock, or the, uh, the Pterosaur now.
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh.
Speaker 3:Lost a magical item.
Speaker 1:You know, all we gotta do is kill this guy. Gotta hunt him down, man. Yeah, I mean, we're ready to go, let's do it. Well, we should probably like find shelter on the mountain, like maybe a cave or something, because we have one more leg before we camp. Yeah, it makes sense. And the Scrockwing or something, because we have one more leg before we camp. Yeah, that makes sense. The Scroccowin will eat us, yeah, how do you want to handle this? Your options are to just keep going up the mountain, or do you want to pursue Firebeak somehow, or both.
Speaker 1:I'm in for Firebeak. Yeah, maybe we can go in the direction of Firebeak and then come and use Jack of All Trades, which is like Junior Survival Scouts. Back in River Country. I was a Junior Survival Scout and I can always spot where a good place for water is like caves, because it can trickle down from the whatever and see if I can't find a little outcrop by the end of the day where we can safely camp and plan our next move to find the pterosaur. Okay, so it just means I'll get advantage. What is that Like? Search, get advantage on search, wilderness, wilderness. Yeah, of course that makes much more sense, wilderness. It's this way, guys. Too bad, this cave's filled with wargs. What is your total? Six Can.
Speaker 3:I make a wilderness.
Speaker 1:Oh, okay the twist. I know it's caves filled with. Can I make a wilderness check too, or no? Um? This is the animal service to maybe steer us away from the word field cave.
Speaker 1:I just said that, but like, because it's this way yeah, but um, no, no, because we're gonna, you know, ride with the results of that. Um, I don't think it should be as horrible as that. You know what I mean, because the point was finding a safe place. So the twist I don't think needs to be that it's not safe. Maybe there's dripping water from stalactites and it's just really annoying and it impacts our ability to rest overnight.
Speaker 1:We won't get a restful night. I don't want to be penalized by wounds, but I guess we already healed those, so that would be not really much of a penalty, you'll be, tired? Yeah, but we'll be safe. Is that minus one to all actions? Yeah, oh yeah, I mean it's not bad.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's not bad. I also want to make you, james, roll a search, just tracking the beast. Nine, okay, so as you travel, uh, nine, okay. So as you travel, um, you follow the path of of Firebeak on the second leg of the day, which leads you to this hex. Um, and so you think Firebeak is in this area leg of the day which leads you to this hex, and so you think Firebeak is in this area and you found a place to rest for the night. Awesome, alright, we're both tending our wounds. That were night. Firebeak can't be. Firebeak is weakened. Be hunkering down nearby, we hunt at night. We find it when it sleeps. Be hunkering down nearby, we hunt at night. We find it when it sleeps.
Speaker 2:I like the way you think.
Speaker 1:We should do it. Let's go All right.
Speaker 3:At the mouth of the cave.
Speaker 1:She's like all right you idiots get back to bed.
Speaker 3:She's holding a spear up to us Get in bed and brush your teeth.
Speaker 1:In the night you hear this loud honk, oh no. The loudest honk you've ever heard. Sounds like a foghorn, but a honk it's like a. It's a mountain goose, yeah.
Speaker 2:For tales of humungous, humongous.
Speaker 1:It's humongous everywhere. We've got to hunker down. Once night falls, the humongous rule the mountains, they say. The siren song of a humongous horn guides mountaineers to it, looking out over our fire across the mountains.
Speaker 3:The mountainscape.
Speaker 1:There's the shadows of gigantic geese rustling through the trees. It's like the Hobbit the trees are like shaking, like a dragon is moving around. It's like the hobbit. It's like the trees are shaking, like a dragon is moving around. It's like that scene in Jurassic Park where the brachiosaurus heads come out of the canopies.
Speaker 1:It's like Look, they're calling to each other. I've never seen anything like it Filled with awe and terror. They're calling to each other Humongous. I've never seen anything like it Filled with awe and terror. Yeah, one pops his head up in front of the cave. We feed it tree branches. It sneezes on us. Only in Land of.
Speaker 2:Eam's not calm.
Speaker 1:That should be captured like in art, like that should be in the final book, like feeding you monkeys look, we're friends friends there was a gnome in the party. Yeah, that's true, it's always Series 2. Yeah, party full of gnomes. This would be the quest to save the last tree.
Speaker 2:I mean, you guys botched that quest we did you gotta hand it off to Series 2.
Speaker 1:We did send a giant robot like reseeding the entire used to be forest with a mechanical chain gun and seed cannon. Yeah, nobody saw that coming. No out of every like it, just like his shooting goblins in the chest with a seed cannon and then, like a tree, grows out. Repopulating used to be forced.
Speaker 1:I feel like whatever second campaign we do has to have. Keep this campaign as continuity. We're not going to reset anything. Yeah, no, agree, all right. Well, you passed the night, uh, safely, but not soundly. And uh, you wake up and you're tired, but you're in one piece yeah, so those humongous, really don't let up. They just keep honking through the night. Yeah, they do. We get no sleep at all. It's just honking and rummaging, giant goose heads rummaging Through our backpacks.
Speaker 1:Like the first night I went to sleep In San Francisco. It was like 10 years ago. The foghorns were just going all night. I was like what? How do people live? It's very soothing after a while. I stayed in a place in Berkeley right next to the stadium, and they were doing a major construction project for a week. Every 10 seconds was like. Every 10 seconds was like a gigantic air horn. Like we're like communicating with another tractor or something. I don't even know what it was Just like.
Speaker 3:You can hear it from my.
Speaker 1:Some guy with a Vuvuzela outside your apartment.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:All right, tell me what you guys do. Well for one. Riley is going to tend to her wounds. She's got like a big lump on her head from falling, you know. Yeah 40 feet from a freaking dinosaur monster is. Is Jert back with us? It took me a second to calibrate myself what I was looking at the party list, because I was going to add Polgrub.
Speaker 2:Polgrub and the.
Speaker 1:Blimmy, I feel like he's not, since we have not thought about him. I mean, I just thought about him, but I'm just saying Jert's at the stone, yeah.
Speaker 3:Where are you guys?
Speaker 1:Hey guys, guys, he's like standing outside of like a tgi friday's yeah, where'd everybody go?
Speaker 3:in the parking lot me again.
Speaker 1:The idea of ditching him is hilarious, just forgetting it's the equivalent of uh, kevin mccAllister, and he just has his own home alone, quest Home alone at the stone.
Speaker 2:This is my house. I have to defend it.
Speaker 1:It's like Jert locked in some room in the stone defending against all of the knights of Feltmark Hitting him with paint cans. Yeah, all right. Hitting him with paint cans. Yeah, Alright, I'm going to tell Galen. Galen I'm not so sure about I don't know how to handle the sorcerer. If we give him what he wants, it could really be bad. I wonder if there's a way we could sabotage it. Galen nods intently, like waiting for Riley to go on with her idea. Galen has no idea.
Speaker 1:He, I mean we don't even know exactly, like how the egg will be used. You know, we don't even know if he really wanted us to get this thing or he's just going to send us off on a quest to die. Pretty sure it's just the quest to die. We still have to get the other thing too. One of three other things, four other things and a bottle of milk. You guys dealing with magic, sort of that's bad stuff. Yeah, it kind of is. It is bad juju, although the Nivus Hammer is pretty cool. This is amazing, yeah.
Speaker 3:I'm just waiting for you to roll one, and the cloud head flies off.
Speaker 1:Where'd you get an item like that? You know, a horde maybe. I don't exactly recall, but when?
Speaker 2:you travel with us you're traveling in style.
Speaker 1:There's mortal peril everywhere, but you've traveled beyond the mountains. We've never traveled beyond the mountains. This is our first time into the Blunder Bluffs and Scrockwing, Scrocknest In fact, this is the furthest north we've ever been. But I mean, you've been all down south and whatnot. Yeah, that's what we do.
Speaker 2:We've been.
Speaker 1:all over the Mucklins We've been through the used to be for us, we've been to the drippy downs scallowag strand, albeit briefly the mountains riley had a mine off with his dwerg and yirgigerg oh yeah my rival he's been shamed the places you're talking about. I've never heard of them. It it's all south of here. There's a big, wide world.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but there's nothing to the north. We truly believe there's nothing to the north. All I've heard about is a place called Bogtown and Bugbear Holler. Oh yeah, I've never been to Bugbear Holler, but we have been to Bogtown.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we've been to Bogtown.
Speaker 1:I feel like we've like. Didn't we hunt something near Bugbear Holler? My mom says I got cousins over there. You should visit them sometime.
Speaker 3:I hear it's nice.
Speaker 1:It's a big journey, yeah but I mean for a tough hunter like you, it'll be fine. I'd rather be the master of my own domain. I mean, you mean like the mountain, you want to own the mountain. I just want to master it. What does that mean? Just know everything about it? Oh, nothing could ever catch me unawares, that's true. Suddenly humongous. Yeah, I respect that. You know man finds his hexes in life. You know where he wants to hang out. I mean, just give me six hexes.
Speaker 2:That's all I want is six hexes, that's perfect.
Speaker 1:Well, I mean, if you're going to master the mountain, I'm sure there's lots to learn For one, you know. Have you ever seen the Pitchwing's nest? No, no, it's all the way at the tippy top. Hopefully someday. We'll find it Someday soon.
Speaker 3:After we deal with.
Speaker 1:He should be passing by at some point today. Sorry, what he's due for a hunt Scrockwing, scrockwing, scrockwing is that his?
Speaker 1:name. Yeah, pitchwing, pitchwing. Yeah, you know, his is Scrockwing, his is Scrockwing. It's a she, though Right, because she's laying eggs. I don't want to steal anything about Pitchwing's gender. I don't know about the physiology of these, uh, gigantic world-ending monsters. Um, now say, did you know that male krill have the babies shrimptonians, rather shrimptonian. I did not know that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I heard the tale of a guy named Wild Grill. He saved his people. Oh, it's a great story. Yep, yep, great storyteller, great storyteller. Yeah, just then Pitchwing flies over and bites my head off. Just then Pitchwing flies over, it bites my head off.
Speaker 1:We didn't get much rest all night because of the drippy drop, so we talked our way through it and dawn starts to creep over. Maybe we see a gigantic shadow just go right across the sky.
Speaker 3:Yeah, for several seconds over. Maybe we see a gigantic shadow, just go right across the sky.
Speaker 1:Yeah, for several seconds. The. Earth seems black. I don't know why we ever thought we could steal an egg from this thing. Actually, now that I think about it, if we can steal an egg while it's hunting, that might give us a shot. You say it hunts how many times? What did he say? How often it hunts? Once every two hours? Once every couple days? Once every couple days?
Speaker 3:once every couple days.
Speaker 1:So maybe, like, if we can take care of the flame beak, fire beak and make our way up the mountain, we can time it just right so that we can grab an egg and try to get down before the creature returns. I just, I almost love the idea that we get the egg, we hatch it and we deliver the hatched egg to the sorcerer and then the little baby, scroquewing, just calls out and brings the tower. I really like the idea of the Scroquewing chasing us to the stone.
Speaker 2:I really like that idea.
Speaker 1:I don't know how we pull it off, but it would be so amazing.
Speaker 2:It just comes in sideways and grabs the tower with its talons.
Speaker 1:But then you see, like the sorcerer in the tower, like Emperor Palpatine, just firing lightning at it. It's like bolts of lightning and fire. Yeah, you're going to need to kite it. Oh, that's right. Yes, that was your plan with the pterosaur. So how do you kite something? Well, you just gotta make sure that you're attacking it every so often, at a regular interval.
Speaker 3:Well, that's a day's travel.
Speaker 1:It's like many hexes, it's like arrows yeah. Oh, no, it's not going to go well. Yeah, let's do one thing at a time. Let's just focus on Firebeak for now, I guess. And then, we'll try to bump it off this period of time. I'll turn to Polgrreb and I'll say how long does Pitchwing hunt for? Look, I don't have all the answers on Pitchwing, but hey master of your own domain, right You're supposed to know these things.
Speaker 1:You know he's usually out for a day, comes back back, or she. Okay, never really gotten an up-close. Look at this thing. You know, if I did I'd be dead. It's being a monster and legend at this point. Yeah, um, I have an idea for Firebeak. What if we set a trap for it and use the blemish bait? Oh my God, the blemish is still here.
Speaker 2:Our blemish are scared.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he's been sucking on stalactites to get water Like a baby. I killed James I broke him.
Speaker 3:Oh, my god.
Speaker 1:It's just the end of every social encounter. We just remember that there's a blemmy, like a ten foot blemmy, just sitting there, sitting there like that red Furry Warner Brothers monster.
Speaker 2:Just like Sitting next to us, oh hi. Oh, hi Its design is very much based on that. Yeah, sitting next to us. Oh hi, oh hi.
Speaker 1:This design is very much based on that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:Tell me what you guys are doing. You're just sitting here. I'm thinking maybe we could set some sort of trap. We could net the thing or grab its foot, or something Took its foot. Yeah, ben, can we say that I retrieved the druidic rope? Mm-hmm, okay, thank you, I appreciate that. No you have to go back, Rude. I would have also accepted this. It's fine. What if we take like a bunch of I don't know, like? This is a huge creature.
Speaker 1:It would take us forever to build a structure, but like yeah, it's like huge. I can't come up with a good trap for something so big. Same, I don't have any real valuable.
Speaker 1:Maybe we could, maybe we can walk adventure it Like, hit it with some logs or something Like use the blimmy's strength to like create a big pile of discarded tree trunks and then like shove, like a little stick or a rock in there that we can pull it out and then hit it with all the logs if we can draw it somewhere. Just kicked our butt last time and we're minus one. It's someone trying to come up with anything good, to mention it.
Speaker 2:Although it's weekend too.
Speaker 1:It's weekend too.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I have a feeling, though, that we're we're gonna have to go to it. I don't know that we're gonna be able to lure it to a trap, right, so we still have to find it. It's wounded. It's probably like trying to lick its wounds. Um, I mean, maybe we should hunt it down and see what its status is, yeah, see if we can sneak up on it. All right, let's do it. Yeah, we're going to have Polgrib help track this creature based on its blood trail and droppings and everything. I will also. You know what. I'll just make a wilderness check for myself.
Speaker 1:Galen is a master of his domain. Now, make it at minus two, because it's a flying creature. Uh, minus two, minus one for the exhaustion. Okay, all right, that's a four. It's uh, like that scene in space balls when they come in the desert. Yeah, um, there's no sign of this creature on the ground. Um, you know, you figure we have an idea of the direction it went, I guess. Can I look to see if, like, uh, can I use a wilderness check to see if, like, the tops of trees have been broken?
Speaker 1:or disturbed To see if it's flying low and knocked some trees when it was wounded or something. Sure, also at minus two. Alright, well, it's one zero mm-hmm, mm-hmm. I mean it, you know it's no use.
Speaker 3:We're never gonna find this thing monkeys.
Speaker 1:Like you see monkeys footprints everywhere yeah yeah, yeah, we, we start trying to chop down a tree, but it's actually a humongous leg. I didn't realize it until it just shakes us off. Polgrub says we can't give up. Now, you guys, this is, I'm going alone and he just starts walking. You don't?
Speaker 3:have to go alone. You can't go alone.
Speaker 1:We pack up and go with him. I jump back on FB's back I pick up the chicken and scramble after Polaroid. Yeah, don't see a scramble around the chicken. Reminds her of eggs. Sorry, she pecks at you. Alright, one of you. Whoever's next make a search check at disadvantage, I think it's me Search check.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, Nothing.
Speaker 1:What is your?
Speaker 2:total.
Speaker 1:One One.
Speaker 3:Actually, no, it's three, I'm plus two oh okay, that's three.
Speaker 1:I rolled D100. Oh, dear 30. 30 Humungies. You come across two Dungeoneers who are having a fist fight. They're tumbling around in the dirt. Dust is flying up. Can I scramble? Sorry, claudia, can I run? Can I run and try to break him up? Hey, hey, hey, quit it. Can't you tell that you're in love with each other? Zona Imbach notes the irony. Make a mic check Riley. Minus one Zero. They knock me back.
Speaker 2:I take a.
Speaker 1:D6. Into the cloud of.
Speaker 3:When it settles, I'll be unconscious.
Speaker 1:You take five, dread immediately, oh no, dragged into this vortex and then you get a clearer look at them. One of them is an SPL, one of them is Krog and Sons oh nice.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And the SPL guy has a, a hook hand and he says whose side are you on? I'm on nobody's side. He's trying to break up this fight. He just stands it. Stands there and looks at you and make a charm, check Totally, do it Wow. Stands there and looks at you and make a charm, check Totally do it.
Speaker 1:Wow, he's about to clock you in the face and goes oh, you're right, what are we doing? I mean this place is dangerous enough. We got Scrock Wings up in the air. We got pterosaurs everywhere. I mean you're going to bring the thunder down on us, buddy? The Crogansons guy is immediately eaten. Well, he took my claim. Crogansons guy says it's my claim, I'm mining here. Okay, this guy comes over. He says this is property SPL. That makes no sense. Do you guys have the deed to your mind? It's no good to me. Deed. Yeah, deeds are no good. What are you talking about? While there's plenty of mountain SPL guy, why don't you get your own claim? Hey, I thought you were on my side. I'm on nobody's side. I was going to punch you in the face. I showed my kind heart.
Speaker 1:Look this guy's clearly already has this guy started mining or is there just like nothing? No one has actually started anything. Look, neither of you guys have started to do anything. How about you walk 200 paces that way? You walk 200 paces that way and you can claim wherever you land. I immediately start mining.
Speaker 3:My claim now.
Speaker 1:Hey, they're pulling a prank on us. They took our claim. Hey, frog guy, get over here. Hey, what's up? I just smelled some minerals.
Speaker 2:You can't just go mining.
Speaker 1:Right there, it's not your claim. You don't have a deed? Fine, then we'll all start mining. Let's have a mine-off, because Riley's done that before. I have won a mine-off, you've won a mine-off. Yes, I don't believe it. I won it in Drippy Downs with the Dwarves A real mine-off. Those are Underlanders. Yeah, alright, a mine-off. Those are Underlanders. Yeah, alright, a Minoff. Whoever finds the most ore in the next hour keeps this claim Bader Minoff.
Speaker 2:Um.
Speaker 1:Can I use trickery Like whoever finds the most ore or the most valuable thing? It's quantity, okay.
Speaker 2:Not quality.
Speaker 3:I was going to try to use trickery.
Speaker 1:I was going to try. I don't even comprehend quality, all right, I was gonna try to use trickery to be like, to pull like an adamant out of my pocket and be like I win. Found one um all right, let's, let's do this. Everybody just starts shoveling and picking, completely forget our purpose in these mountains Start.
Speaker 3:This is what we do. It's what we do.
Speaker 1:You guys, you can't both do it. You gotta choose. No, no, no, she's gonna do it. It's gonna be even more embarrassing when you're beat by this petite shrimp. I look up at them and scowl. Yeah look at that. Look at, that's her mean face. Alright, frog, you say go.
Speaker 2:Go.
Speaker 1:Come on, riley, you can do it. I inspire her immediately. We will make three checks. Check immediately. We will make three checks. Okay, whoever Riley is, plus two to check I should have. Okay, that's awesome. Make three checks. Just do one at a time. Ten Just do one at a time 10.
Speaker 2:What am I rolling?
Speaker 1:Is it just plus 2? I don't know what I'm rolling.
Speaker 2:You're rolling wilderness You're gathering resources Max is plus 3.
Speaker 1:I'm 11 for my first roll and we're minus 1 from being exhausted. God, I totally forgot. Then you get that plus 1 back. No, no, no. Then you get the extra bonus. So I'm plus 2 wilderness. You gave me plus 2.
Speaker 2:I'm minus 2.
Speaker 1:So it's 10. Is that right? Yep, so that means that everyone here has gathered 1d6 materials, so roll that for yourself. Yes, I got some for myself. Five.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:And a random elemental component. Say how to girl, keep it up, and then I'll inspire her again. So you get another bonus plus two. I do it Oof Four.
Speaker 2:Hmm.
Speaker 1:Getting the good stuff in. I rolled a 12 for the elemental, which is good. That is good. Yeah, probably just like do by quantity, so I'm not going to waste time rolling for them Seven and six.
Speaker 3:We got a four over here.
Speaker 1:So that means you've gathered nothing. On the second try, oh no, I spend a quest point to do that's good for no. I spend a quest point to do that's good for us. I spend a quest point to use my inspiration one last time, and I do it. It is seven to two for them and you have five material components Five and one elemental component oh right, and then Eight to three to 6 is you?
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So SPL is in lead right now. Come on, I'm just going to decaffeinate this guy. That's a 12. All right Down to the wire. I steal some of the SPL guy stuff. All right, here we go. Got to get some.
Speaker 1:We're too, honest, got to get a six. Well, with a 12, do you roll a different thing? Well, you can choose an elemental component. So it's still just yeah, we choose the most valuable one. So SPL comes away with 12. On it, so it's still just yeah, we choose the most valuable one. So SPL comes away with 12. 13, actually Damn it, I'm 12.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we use a quest point to create materials. Did you want to try to cheat and throw the adamant or whatever? Yeah, should I try to do trickery and throw in the adamant or whatever? Should I try to do trickery and empty my pockets into my pile? I believe in you.
Speaker 2:Do what you think is right.
Speaker 1:No, I'm not going to do that. Looks like SPL won. I win In your won. I win In your face.
Speaker 1:All right Claim is yours. We're going to move on. Hey, give me those. Those are all mine. This came from my claim. No, we did the work, doesn't matter. Spl goods. Now See that to my face. I pull out my axe, all right. Thunderblade shows up at it. It's SBL Goods. Now See that to my face. I pull out my axe, alright, alright. Thunderblade shows up. Whoa, whoa, whoa, let's not get crazy. Escalates immediately to Marvel.
Speaker 3:I was just joshing.
Speaker 1:Say hi to Wazinski for us. Oh, uh, yeah, about that. What about Wazzynski? Yeah, I don't know, she's gone, gone More notes On some like big operation, you know. Oh, so business is good. I guess it's sort of weird. Yeah, it is weird. It's sort of weird. Yeah, it is weird. It's a big hush-hush thing and I don't know.
Speaker 3:Princess Femant says she did. Wazinski is the only constant in SPL.
Speaker 1:There's the fake Orphan. It's true, it'sl. There's the fake Orphan. That's true, it's pretty constant. Who wears the Orphan suit?
Speaker 1:Goulahan, goulahan, yeah, goulahan is the only constant in SPL, lloyd Goulahan All right, well, this has been a heck of a detour. You guys happen to see a pterosaur flying overhead Just then. Oh yeah, that crazy red beak looking thing, yeah, oh yeah, man, that terrified me. Us too, we're hunting it. Actually. That's why we're asking for protection money. And now that you have a claim, we're going for protection money. And now that you have a claim, we're going to rob you. Galen's gone dark side again. No, he's not. I am Thunderblade Marauder. Yeah, I mean, I saw it last night. Which way did it go.
Speaker 1:Straight up into those mountains over there. Oh boy, I thought it was going to kill me, but it just passed right over. Alright, well, looks like we know the direction to go. We go as you leave. They get into another fight, because they're he's trying to say that all the materials that the guy gathered belonged to him. Now. It's only like. The Crogansons guy was really terrible. He gathered three things. That's mine, that's petty.
Speaker 1:You let the other guys go guys go wander off and just like freaking guys shouting on the mountain in the in mortal peril from the creatures that exist on it um, oh, we should, we should. Uh, can I make up a thing where that perffle is gonna draw a terror beak to him? I don't have that ability anymore. Shoot, I gotta keep leveling so I can go back and take old abilities. Gotta get started. Yeah, start Alright. You wanna head to where you pointed.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I do.
Speaker 1:I'll make a travel check Plus only one. Aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, that ain't good, that ain't good. Okay, roll another D100. Nine, nine, interesting, interesting, interesting, dude. Nine, nine, interesting interesting.
Speaker 1:I use hear of the people and call a flock of peasant folk to us. I can't tell if Ben's frozen, he's trying to figure out how to make something work. Yeah, can you just roll again? No, can you tell us what it was? It was something kind of similar. Uh, it's a different combination of incorporated guys. All right, you, uh on the mountain, you. You look at this troll that seems to be like incapacitated. Oh um, he's kind of groaning didn't we go?
Speaker 1:hey, we run into trolls made fun of us and like mocked us as we were crossing mountains and we're throwing boulders at us okay, they all seem the same to me. I'm going to run up to him and be like hey you all right there, chief, I'm sick. Oh no, did you eat something that didn't agree with you? Or I cover my mouth for you?
Speaker 2:You know, I got a cold or something.
Speaker 3:I think I ate some bad fish.
Speaker 1:Where did you get fish? On a mountain? Oh, I think it might be lakes. Yeah, what are you crazy? Bad clams is what I was thinking.
Speaker 3:It's a bad clam.
Speaker 1:You never had mountain clams.
Speaker 2:Mountain geese love them.
Speaker 1:Yeah, bandy clams wet in the water. Where'd you get this fish? Like locally, like is there a little lake nearby? Yeah, there's a little River and a lake. You know all rivers come from the mountains.
Speaker 2:You know that right locally. Is there a little lake nearby? Yeah, there's a little river and a lake.
Speaker 1:All rivers come from the mountains. You know that, right? Yeah, I don't think that's true. It is true All of it, all of it. Listen, you're yanking my chain here. I think I'm going to die. I'm a death's door. Maybe we can bring it back.
Speaker 2:Princess.
Speaker 1:I love it. If it's anything like Rocky Mountain Oysters, I'm out. It is 100% like Rocky Mountain Oysters and they come from like one galopes or something One galope kneecaps. Wanda Bluff Oysters Wanda.
Speaker 3:Bluff Oysters.
Speaker 1:Do we know anything about medicine, like, is there anything that we can whip him up to help him? I'm not that kind of knight errant, I guess.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Actually.
Speaker 2:I'm going to jack up all trades.
Speaker 1:I'm going to jack up all trades and do some a little bit of fungi recognition. I'm not brilliant at this, Like I only took a couple of classes, but maybe I can find a mushroom that's really great at like absorbing toxin and settling your stomach the tums of mushrooms. It's like a charcoal based mushroom. Yeah, it's a.
Speaker 2:Oh it's advantage.
Speaker 1:No, it's advantage. Yeah, Plus two eleven, minus one Ten. Okay, I think you know about this thing. You'll have to find some. Can we both make wilderness checks? I think you know about this thing You'll have to find some. Can we both make wilderness checks? They grow in caves. Okay, Galen, let's look around for some caves. All right, Seven Twelve Nice, Was I mean like a wilderness check with a exhaustion penalty? I mean, like you mean this, Alright, well, you're traveling to a cave and you find some of these caps, Charcoal caps.
Speaker 2:Charcoal cap.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, can I just like fill like my pack with them and like as many as I can carry and I'll tell George like we gotta grind these up and like I'll use like my cooking skill to make them into a tea so we can absorb them fast. I will, I'll make a check to grind him up. Maybe I'll try to use my axe or one of my, like my great club, to kind of boil and mash them, put them in a tea thing. Boil and mash them, put them in a tea. I feel like this would be an alchemy type of thing. Tinker, I can tinker. Do I have to do something too, or no, put them in a tea. I feel like this would be an alchemy type of.
Speaker 3:Thing.
Speaker 1:Tinker.
Speaker 2:Tinker, I can tinker.
Speaker 1:Wait, do I have to do something too, or no? I was just role-playing. Oh, I mean yeah, although you can get Claudia away from them, because she's like yeah, claudia is now toxin-free, we'll use her to boil the water.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm, we'll use her to boil the water.
Speaker 1:Alright. So that's 10, tinker Alright, you, uh, you make it. Alright, I'm gonna feed it to the troll. When you get back there, the troll is gone, like he's dead. He's not there. He's not there. Oh my gosh. We look for a trail of I don't know do trolls drop stuff as they walk, Just like horses? It's just a trail of vomit. Yeah, yeah, we'll see if we can track him down. Yeah, let's look for him Troll Prince.
Speaker 2:Search check.
Speaker 3:Wilderness check maybe.
Speaker 1:Soich, soichy-uppy. Yeah, I can't find anything. It's like you vanished. Huh, you must not have been that sick, or I got eaten.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Oh well, now we have all this stuff for ourselves. We clink our glasses Totally unemotionally we clink our glasses totally. I say Riley, I feel kind of funny inside it's poison. Sorry, galen, now I am the master of the mountain. That's really weird that this guy just disappeared like yeah it's really really strange, can we? Disappeared like that. Yeah, it's really really strange. Can we God? Do you think he got eaten by? A crocoing or something 100%.
Speaker 2:I'm just trying to think if there's, I don't know what to do.
Speaker 1:We look up and see him in the branches above us being devoured by a pterosaur. He's never bothered to look up. He clicks at us. Actually, I'm going to call for him.
Speaker 2:Hey troll.
Speaker 1:Troll Like really loudly, like really loudly um. I set off my ear horn. Is that him saying? Hey, hey yeah, you don't.
Speaker 1:You don't get a response from him um and um, you weren't able to find uh tracks. But Hmm, um and um, you weren't able to find uh tracks. But you saw, george, we resolve your search tech better than we did. Um, it literally seemed like his prints disappeared. Oh man, I actually think he was picked up by something. Oh man, I actually think he was picked up by something. I do too, but it's just a matter of like scan the sky like squinting into the sun.
Speaker 1:Maybe, yeah, maybe we can climb a tree, or you can climb a tree, I can help you up. Yeah, give me an alley-oop, I'll climb to the top of a tree. Alley-oop, alley-oop, I'll climb to the top of a tree Alley-oop, alley-oop. What is that? Nimbleness Mm-hmm Seven, exactly Perfect.
Speaker 3:Perfect.
Speaker 1:Scramble up the tree. Okay, all right. Yeah, you get to the top. Top, you have a pretty great view of the mountains. Um, you see off in the distance, uh, sort of like high perched cave area that seems like no one could really get to. Oh man, that's got to be where something's living.
Speaker 1:I bet you there's more charcoal caps in there, gale this is the point I'm going to scramble down and say, hey, in this direction there's a cave that's up there, the Scrockwing or the pterosaur might be in it. Was it big enough for a Scrockwing? I mean, it's hard to tell just from this distance and size relationships. Both of them are like giant creatures, although the Scrockwing is much larger. Right, would we be able to climb it? Now that we know where it is? Could we get up there using the rope? Get on up.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you guys are adventurersurers, but it's a difficult climb okay it turned around and say we really got to work on our flying machine for you. Oh yeah, it would be really helpful if we could fly. Um, how do you want to do this, galen? Like we're just going to go for it? Yeah, who has the better athletics check between the two? I got a plus two, minus one. Now I'm minus one now, all right, I'll try to. Well, I guess I'll try to climb. We could probably both try to climb, but our climb as uh, the blemi says I start climbing up already.
Speaker 1:He's actually saying that from above us. We're like, oh, get on back, get on back, I'm going to grab him, I'm going to grab the Blemie's tufts of hair and climb onto his back and hold my hands around his neck.
Speaker 2:Yeah, this is literally.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah.
Speaker 3:It's like Andre the Giant, he's okay.
Speaker 1:Every once in a while he licks your hand. I'm sitting on his tongue as he climbs up. I'm like crang, Get in mouth. I'm sitting on his tongue as he climbs up the I'm like crang God. Get in mouth. Oh yeah, that's safe. Our friend remember, yes, our not food. So, yeah, the blemish just easily scales this. Galen, you will have to check. I make one. Uh, nine, exactly, yeah, okay, uh, you make it about halfway up and there's a place to rest.
Speaker 2:Cool.
Speaker 1:All right, uh, ready for the second leg. Yes, what do you say, blimey?
Speaker 2:or do it.
Speaker 1:Can I tie off to the Blimey, just in case I fall? Sure, uh, sure, I just tie the druid rope to him. So I mean, I'll probably take damage, but I won't tumble down the whole mountain at least. Uh, it doesn't matter, I use my thick thighs and I save my life. You jump, yeah, the last you jump.
Speaker 3:Yeah, the last thing, mario.
Speaker 1:Yeah, super Mario Brothers, super Show, all right. You reach the, you know the top of the cliff and you catch a whiff of an awful smell coming from the cave mouth. I say, blammy, r, wasn't me, it was me. Okay, embarrassed about it. Oh, sorry, you're so tiny but big smell. All those blunderbluff, oysters. Yeah, you had oysters. Yeah, alright, so we'll check out this cave mouth anything we see or hear. Immediately you see streaks of blood on the ground.
Speaker 1:I see streaks of blood, hear noises too and I think to myself there's a troll getting it. Sorry. Yeah, what do you? What do you guys want to do?
Speaker 3:I want to blood.
Speaker 1:I want to sneak inside, dark inside yeah yeah, I'll. Uh, I won't sneak actually, because I forgot. I'm terrible at sneaking. I think I might actually have disadvantage. Pull grob will. Uh, oh god, he's still with us as well actually maybe maybe we can flush this thing out. George, you can chop it. Set off Speaking my language. I want to try to see if I can save the troll, though, okay.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'll lie in, wait, I'm decently sneaky.
Speaker 1:I'm going to try to sneak in and find the troll.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Assuming the troll's even here. But I just I'm going to use to sneak in and find the troll yeah, assuming the troll's even here. But I just I'm looking, I'm going to use the mossy blanket to hide myself, even though it's not mossy terrain, unless it is mossy terrain, in which case it does help. I mean it'll help.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:Alright, james, make a sneak check. Alright, here we go. Eleven, alright, you tiptoe into the cave. You can barely see things as you get deeper in, but you hear leathery wings flap and, um, it sounds like the, the sounds of eating, oh no. But then you hear like coughing from a creature, like a bird. Oh, choking on the guy. Um, I'm going to go boldly into danger and chop the. I'm going to, I'm going to, like, take the Nimbus hammer and just like bash its tail or something. Uh, all, right, so I'll get a free attack against it. Its tail or something. Alright, I'll get a free attack against it.
Speaker 1:Free two attacks Free, two attacks I critically miss, which means the hammer immediately ascends into the sky.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Creating an avalanche killing us all.
Speaker 1:Galen's hiding at the mouth of the cave and he just sees a cloud come flying out of the mouth and he's like, oh no, it's like just like straight into the heavens you go to attack it. It flies out of your hands yeah, you go to attack it it flies out of your hands.
Speaker 1:It could not have been worse. I was so ready, I had snuck up on it. I was ready Two free attacks. I wonder if Galen's smart enough to realize what just happened to Riley. I wonder if Galen's smart enough to realize what just happened to Riley. Let me make a perception check or something I don't know. Yeah, go for it. Yeah, does this make sense to Galen?
Speaker 2:Oh, it's too funny.
Speaker 1:Now Galen says huh, that was weird, that was weird Alright inside the cave Riley. That was super Alright inside Inside the cave Riley. Roll initiative. Unless you want to do something, you can actually run. Well, I was gonna, I am gonna run. Okay, I'm going to run. No, it's.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:I'm going to run and leap off with a hang glider Aerial combat.
Speaker 2:I'm going to have aerial combat Too close for missiles.
Speaker 1:Switching to guns? Yeah, I have a plan. I appreciate one's plan. Um, say, make a nimbleness check as you leap into the air, galen. You see Riley just bolt out and jump off the side of the cliff. That's not good. Six, okay, um, that's not good.
Speaker 2:Six.
Speaker 1:Okay, I'm just going to say you take dread from the fear of this. It's a hot breath on my neck, dread. You take four dread. All right, what am I at, lord Fordred? I don't think I'm full. I don't think I'm full. I don't think we were full. Oh, I am, I am. I thought I took damage again, I don't think so. All right, but you do uh, weep off and yeah, there's a, there's a fast plunge, but you level out. I scream as I come plunging out through, like let's try behind me, do something.
Speaker 1:All I hear is Riley go Galen roll initiative or unless you know that's exactly what I'm going to do. I don't have my. I forget. I'm still penalized Five. I go after it. That's not good. All right, Paul Grubb goes voice.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:You can uh attack for him. He fires into the inky blackness of the mouth of the cave. He's also, yeah, soness, of the mouth of the cave. He's also 3, 2, 2, 9. Plus 3, it's a hit. Well, he's exhausted as well. Right, that's true, it's plus 2. Not that I wish this on us, but I'm trying to be fair.
Speaker 3:It's also minus 2, so it's a 7.
Speaker 1:What? Oh, because it's mighty minus two. So it's a seven. What oh, cause it's mighty, mighty? Just let it all hang out. No, just cause it's defense. So, oh, that's the one, all right. Well, actually a seven doesn't hit, it's a grazing shot. He's grazed for one dread. One foot, one dread I could Do. You want to use a quest point? I have no quest points left. I can give you one Automatically.
Speaker 1:Well, that's, I mean that's for pole grub, first of all, oh, oh, and then it would only make it an eight, and we would need it to be a nine, true, yeah, oh, and then it would only make it an eight and we would need it to be a nine, true, yeah, so Firebeak zooms out of the cave after Riley, paying little mind. Actually, it has three actions, so it'll attack everybody, that's just a jerk. It attacks Polgros.
Speaker 2:You mean it?
Speaker 1:attacks me for two, because the next one's going to be a critical George's strategic smug face. You're hidden, right? No, yeah, because I'm going to go after it. That's true, yeah, let's head off right when it comes out, maybe. All right, so it passes you over. This against Riley. Oh my God, oh no. You have no defense bonus right plus one. Oh yeah, yeah, it's not the kind of bonus I was hoping for. Oh man, a crit you know what.
Speaker 1:I'm sorry that it doesn't really make sense that it would give me it would not attack me, no that it would just because I'm running because you ran yeah not so far away.
Speaker 1:So this is against paul grubb. Paul rudd is what I keep thinking. Yeah, me too. I keep wanting to say Paul Rudd, that's so funny. He takes 18 dread. Oh my gosh, does he live Barely? There's no way he was going to do this on his own. And then he was going to kite, kite him we should be. The next attack is against uh, our blemish. Our blemish takes 13 dread. I'm to write our hit points 87 out of 100. Paul Grubb is like almost dead, by the way all right.
Speaker 1:So now it's Gail's turn. Is it within attacking distance? Yeah, all right. Um, let's throw another shrimp on the barbie. Uh, I'm gonna do not duel. Did I give up my called shot thing, man? I gave up some stuff. Uh, I guess I just attack it yeah if it was still plus two, if we weren't exhausted. Uh, but it's a hit. It's minus two, so it's oh, it's still a hit. I keep forgetting about's minus two. Oh, it's still a hit. I keep forgetting about the minus two.
Speaker 3:And d10 damage. Yeah, oh no, yeah, the chasaur is taking two dread total.
Speaker 1:But, I'm reminded of my axe. Is it bleeding, mm-hmm? Yes, we've started the timer. We just have to live until it bleeds out. So it takes one plus one damage for me. Okay, we've got him now. All right, this is the next round. Next, what is everyone doing? I'm literally kiting the creature. You're on a kite. It happened.
Speaker 2:I'm literally, literally kiting the creature. You're on a kite.
Speaker 1:It happened. I'm literally hiding it. Um, george, I'm going to, I'm going to try to fly it around and like lead it directly into, like slamming into the mountain and then try to turn it. The last second.
Speaker 2:Cool.
Speaker 1:Believe the work or I will kill myself. Yeah, but I'm going to try. Sorry, do we roll initiative? Riley, I think you gotta like taunt it somehow. Yes, everyone's attacking it. We made him bleed. If he bleeds, he bleeds. Taunt it somehow. Yes, Because everyone's attacking it. We made him bleed. If he bleeds, he bleeds. If he dies, he dies. If he dies, he dies. Riley just yells hey, you guys at the thing.
Speaker 2:And it works.
Speaker 1:Let's see, I have done everything I could do.
Speaker 3:Pretty much.
Speaker 1:I mean, you could just try to intimidate it oh, that's fair. Or trick it oh that's fair. Or trick it Quickly. Yeah, can I try to trick it by turning around and going right at it but underneath it, hmm, dip it last second. Yeah, like dip out of the way, like I'm going right for it, mm-hmm, and I'll growl the whole, like I'm going right for it and I'll growl the whole time.
Speaker 3:I'm doing it and scream.
Speaker 1:Alright, that is eight. I'm going to make it a nine. Alright, riley pulls this maneuver. Galen, I'm going to say this draws the creature away from you out of range. Okay, she did it. She really did the sprinkle, sprinkle maneuver, the sprinkle maneuver. Ah you could attack with Paul Grubb, but roll initiative first, I guess. Yeah, paul Grubb goes after and I probably will go after. I might be able to do something else. But yeah, we both go after. Yeah, you can't attack in melee. So if you want to do something, before combat.
Speaker 1:No, it's fine. I think that's all I got. Yeah, that's it. I don't have a ranged weapon on me. I call the golden arrow back to my hand. It doesn't work that way. It's lodged in its back right now.
Speaker 1:All right, the Terror Sword attacks Riley. All right, here we go. It's going to be a crit, I know. Yes, maybe it does hit the mountain after all. What is your defense? Plus one Okay, bites at your hang glider and just whiffs, but it keeps biting while it connects. Wait, wait, wait, ben, the three was a miss with a bonus.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, with a bonus.
Speaker 1:For it. Oh yeah, I always forget. I keep thinking I'm so egocentric. I just think it's like what's our bonus? Ben Nothing, what it is what it do. Ben Nothing, what it is what it do. Oh my gosh. Twenty two.
Speaker 2:Ten, twenty two.
Speaker 1:Just twenty two damaged me. Yeah, that's all. I'm at zero. We have what's called.
Speaker 2:Stout Heart Stout.
Speaker 1:Heart is once per combat. Yeah, stout Heart is once per combat, I think. Yes, I can use Stout Heart. Still puts me at zero. Okay, then maybe it's not worth it. I'm going to slam into the side of the mountain. It's going to come with me, but I'm going right into the side of the mountain. What's happened is it's grabbed, your hang glider in its mouth and it's headed straight for the side of the mountain. It's shaking, going straight inside of the mountain. I'm like with my last piece of consciousness.
Speaker 2:I'm like I'm gonna get him Galen. Alright, given this situation, it's gonna explode like a TIE fighter hit the Death Star.
Speaker 1:Oh man, it's like the wall of Death, star Trench. Every time I'm attacked, I'm critically hit. So you have to defy death, riley. Yes, yes, I do.
Speaker 3:Yes.
Speaker 1:Critical death defiance. I ragdoll from the wreck.
Speaker 2:Yeah, twelve.
Speaker 1:Bounce off the dang wall.
Speaker 2:It's a miracle.
Speaker 1:Into my arms. Okay, yeah, it slams into the side of the mountain and there's no way that it's going to live.
Speaker 3:There's no way that it's going to live. And uh, there's no way that it's going to live. Oh, oh.
Speaker 1:It's ridiculous.
Speaker 2:Let's see something.
Speaker 1:Okay, okay, okay. Make another check to see if you're wounded, all right, make another check to see if you're wounded, all right. Wow, riley is resilient, it's an eight. So somehow you were like cradled in this creature's mouth, as it like slammed in and just like tumbled down the mountain.
Speaker 3:It's like the full force of.
Speaker 1:It's like using the creature's tongue as a cushion.
Speaker 2:It's like falling onto a mattress.
Speaker 1:Galen, you see it all happen as you're like staring over the edge and you think Riley is dead. Riley, you think Riley is dead, riley, riley. You push Paul right over the mountain and he's in a fit of rage.
Speaker 3:I did it. I did it God.
Speaker 1:I immediately start clambering down the mountain to Riley, but don't even bother checking the cave for a horde first, like I want to, no, I'll clamber down the mountain. All right, y'all go down the mountain.
Speaker 2:Riley, Riley, Riley.
Speaker 1:You see Riley unconscious Like, which is like like in a bed of the creature's mouth. She's still breathing. Your pocket hang glider is destroyed. Destroyed, I mean, we can repair it. We could repair it. Did we get him coach?
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, we did coach. Yeah, yeah, we did, yeah, we did rest, now rest.
Speaker 1:You did good and I'm back unconscious again. Yeah, all right, tonight we dine on terror wing soup. Yeah, there's, there's somewhat of a celebration up in the up in the cave. It's like a five foot drumstick, like, yeah, you know, hold terrorists or leg Yep, yep. So the troll is he's alive, but they took his foot. Oh no, I feed him some of the charcoal capped tea.
Speaker 1:Give him some medical attention. It's like he's well, you're gonna have a peg leg. You're gonna have to make one out of wood. Oh, I thought I was in for it. I went unconscious. Actually, as I'm bandaged up, with my feet up in front of the fire, trying to enjoy the celebration best I can without being able to dance, I'm going to start whittling him afoot Out of wood. I love it. Paul Grubb says Whoa, look at this, it's like treasure over here.
Speaker 1:It's like a giant owl pellet filled with gold, seems to be a pile of shiny things. I say, well, we all learned it, except for the drill. Yeah, I mean, this is the all learned it, except for the troll yeah. I mean, this is the best day of my life. I'm a master hunter. Yeah, you did it, definitely did it All by yourself, I mean without any help at all. I couldn't have done it without you guys. Oh, so the treasure czars got it. Thanks, thanks, thank you. Well, no, I mean it's a joint effort right yeah, Troy the treasure's theirs.
Speaker 3:Give them the treasure Our blemish just responds our blemish.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Our treasure. Yes, this is where he becomes a monster again, and kills us all with a treasure Our treasure. It's too funny. The only thing he wants more than food is treasure I love, treasure. Swallowing gold coins? Yeah, our robot, alright, woe to you. He's swallowing gold coins. Yeah, our robot, all right, george probably.
Speaker 1:Why don't you roll a treasure hunting check? What is that again? Is it my level? I rolled a D100, right, 100, right, well, we changed it. Um, so it's probably zero unless you have. No, not unless I use the map. Yeah, uh, but it's plus one because of, uh, of the level of this enemy. Okay, and I'm sorry, is it a D 100 or is it a D? It's a D 12. 12. Got it Plus one. So, pan, ah, now I remember. Let me look if it's in this book that I have. So that means that you get a magnificent item. Wow, there we do. Nice, amazing. Actually, there are three treasure hunting checks. So, james, you can do one. Hmm, it's no good. That is Copper Coins.
Speaker 3:We could use them.
Speaker 1:We could use them and Polgrub will. Our Blammy makes a check. Actually, it's two mundane items.
Speaker 2:I mean yeah, that's.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I know right.
Speaker 1:Roll a paper towel and a stapler. So they're also gold coins and two components. Can we split up the gold coins in any way, or do you just want to say he got his share? We'll add gold like one pouch of gold coins. He says gold's meaningless to me. Even R Blimey looks at him like he's crazy. Our gold? There's no one to pay over in the blunder bluffs. Huh, we just barter with each other. Yeah, he keeps eyeing. Claudia is like a chicken, like that. That'd be worth something. Exactly. You're willing to be worth something Exactly you willing to part with her? Nope, I also retrieved the golden arrow from this guy's corpse. Oh, that's right, good call, I forgot. I said it, it's recorded, it's live. You want to roll your Magnificent item? I do. Please refresh my memory on Magnificent.
Speaker 2:Roll a d200.
Speaker 1:D200. 26. Actually that might be good. You never know. It's a spear, you never know, Ah, aha, aha aha. Spear of Naked Dinky Strength. Now roll a d12. Oh yeah, yeah, it's got parry.
Speaker 3:Parry.
Speaker 1:Can negate a counter attack once per combat. Amazing, that's good, but you'll never use it. Yeah, I'm not gonna give up my AX. Can you roll two more D200s? Yeah?
Speaker 2:always.
Speaker 1:That's my favorite thing. It's EN-75. They're close together. I got a Perry Spears, so you get a lasso. Paul Grubb does and shackles. He says I'll trade you. It's a nice spear.
Speaker 2:It is.
Speaker 1:Galen just looks at him and looks down at the items in his hands and looks back at the spear and he's like Alright. This takes up less item slots. You know, you said you're not even going to use it. Yeah, you never know. I'm going to yell come on, Galen, as I finish. All right all right, all right, I'll trade him for what was shackles and what A lasso.
Speaker 2:Hmm.
Speaker 1:I think you already have a juridic rope. Is what you're thinking? I mean, we'll be nice to the kid, it's his rite of passage. Shackles could be useful to like pretend we're prisoners or to hold someone prisoner, I mean as far as mundane items. Those are two like pretty useful ones. Yeah, no kidding.
Speaker 3:Those are useful mundane items.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's like a half punched subway card.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:You also don't have to trade like I'm just role-playing here. No, I think that that galen would would uh, after riley is admonishing him game be like, yeah, you're right, and he'd give up the? Uh, the spear, he isn't going to use it, he'd just sit there and technically, I think a spear is more item, more item slots. It is yeah it is All right. Uh, cool, I think we'll end it there, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was a meaty stream.
Speaker 1:Uh, entire quest was a random encounter that just went like all the way.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:It's landing for you.
Speaker 3:What was the troll's name? Because he's like his name is.
Speaker 1:Woodenfoot, that now His name is Woodenfoot Zolg. That's amazing, woodenfoot Zolg. I love it. Well, thanks everybody for joining us. This is another episode of the land of eam stream, where we play land of eam rpg, the game we've been working on, and we'll be launching a kickstarter for very, very soon. Uh, you can actually check it out at land of eamcom and you can sign up to our newsletter for updates about it and get a free copy of the quick start guide and download the uh letter for updates about it and get a free copy of the quick start guide and download the uh the beta rules for free. We uh played this entire session, as well as all the other sessions, just based off of the sample sandbox that we've been uh that we've made available to y'all. Now, when we say, uh, very, very soon, we're looking at next year now, um, but some cool things are in the works.
Speaker 3:Some cool things are in the works.
Speaker 1:Some cool things are in the works. We've got lots of announcements about the game and it's going to be very cool and, yeah, if you want to see more of the updates about the game, you can check out our newsletter. And we've got nice little shots of the new interior design and art and all kinds of stuff. So yeah, that kinds of stuff. So uh, yeah, that's uh, that's about it. Um, too much good stuff and any more plugging any more plugging.
Speaker 1:Um, if you like this and want more of it and you're a comics fan, you can check out the rickety stitch series. Uh, rickety stitch in the gelatinous goo is a series about a skeleton bard who goes on an epic quest to find out who they were when they were alive, and it is available anywhere books are sold, so you can ask for it. Yeah, Third one just came out a couple months ago.
Speaker 3:Indeed.
Speaker 1:Indeed, so check out the book. Read more about it at Land of Eamcom. Land of Eamcom is where it all lives, dot com.
Speaker 2:Land of.
Speaker 1:Eamcom slash loot boxes.
Speaker 2:Just got to put it in your parents' credit card.
Speaker 1:Wow, wow, the Darth Vader of plugs. No, there are no lootboxes.
Speaker 2:That is not real.
Speaker 1:No microtransactions.
Speaker 3:No way.
Speaker 1:Not at LandofEvecom, that's for sure.
Speaker 3:Buy the book once you get the whole book Yescom that's for sure.
Speaker 1:Buy the book once to get the whole book. Yes, yes, you do. And all the music for free, it's true. Alright, thanks everybody, and we'll see you next week for the 50th episode. The 50th episode Big stuff right there.
Speaker 3:Adventure on.
Speaker 1:Skracknest Mountain Almost 52. Georgie. It's been a while since I've done this. It's my favorite thing, and I don't say that lightly. He means it All right. Bye now. All right, take it easy.
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