Land of Eem: Actual Play
Join Ben Costa, James Parks, and George Higgins as they play the Land of Eem tabletop roleplaying game, inspired by the series of fantasy books: Dungeoneer Adventures and Rickety Stitch and the Gelatinous Goo.
Ben Costa and James Parks are the creators of Dungeoneer Adventures, Rickety Stitch and the Gelatinous Goo, and the tabletop roleplaying game, Land of Eem. They have been friends since the 2nd grade, and love making stuff together.
Lovers of fantasy, they strive to craft tales that celebrate the adventures of unlikely heroes. Ben and James grew up playing tabletop roleplaying games, creating countless characters and collaborative worlds with our pals, a pastime that paved the way for their creative careers, as authors and illustrators.
Land of Eem is a tabletop roleplaying published in partnership with indie game publisher, Exalted Funeral. and is about adventurers exploring and discovering the remnants of a forgotten better age. Described as The Lord of the Rings meets The Muppets, players portray lore-seeking travelers, fortune-seeking pioneers, and adventure-seeking heroes in a time devoid of them. But for all its post-apocalyptic doom and gloom, Land of Eem is tonally quite lighthearted and droll.
Dungeoneer Adventures is a fun, middle-grade fantasy adventure series from Simon & Schuster, about the only human kid attending the adventure school, Dungeoneer Academy. The books are packed with illustrations and available at Target, Barnes & Noble, and Amazon, or you can ask for them wherever books are sold.
Rickety Stitch and the Gelatinous Goo is a fun YA graphic novel series from Random House, about a skeleton bard and his best friend on an epic quest to discover who he was when he was alive. The books are available through Exalted Funeral or online at Amazon, and you can ask for them wherever books are sold.
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Land of Eem: Actual Play
Land of Eem: Fantasy Actual Play S03E10 | Egg-citing Escapes in our 50th Episode
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What happens when a group of friends bands together for a year-long adventure in a whimsical fantasy realm? Celebrate with Ben Costa, James Parks, and lead playtester George Higgins as they mark their 50th episode of the Land of Eem TTRPG, played in the Mucklands Campaign Sandbox Setting and published by Exalted Funeral. Together, they reminisce about inside jokes, fierce battles, and the camaraderie that has defined their journey through the magical world of Eem.
This milestone episode takes you to the perilous heights of Scroknest Mountain, where the team battles Firebeak the bugbear hunter, encounters quirky characters like the ever-hungry Arblemmy, and embarks on a spontaneous side quest. The quest for a Sunder slab fragment promises powerful crafting potential, but the team must first outwit crag lizards, boggles, and the unpredictable terrain of Scrockwing’s nest.
Feel the adrenaline rush as the group attempts a daring egg heist, navigating chaos during a confrontation with the fearsome Scrockwing. With Riley and Caelan making split-second decisions aboard a flying machine and Caelan wielding a mythical axe, the stakes have never been higher. Meanwhile, the antics of their ally Blemmish add humor to the high-stakes adventure.
Packed with humor, strategy, and the magic of shared storytelling, this episode is a testament to teamwork, creativity, and the unforgettable memories forged in a year of gaming. Perfect for fans of Fantasy Actual Play, Collaborative Storytelling RPGs, Rules-Light Indie RPGs, and the thriving TTRPG community, this is an episode you won’t want to miss!
Download the Land of Eem Quickstart Guide for FREE, and join the celebration today!
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Hi guys, hey everybody, happy Saturday. Okay, yeah, saturday indeed In the land of Eam Ben.
Speaker 2:Ben Costa's muted. Oh, my goodness gracious.
Speaker 1:He's been talking for 25 minutes. It's like they keep talking over me. Why are they so rude? They don't let me talk. I was saying this is the 50th episode, this, oh, that's right 50th episode.
Speaker 2:Should we celebrate in some way?
Speaker 1:or uh, we are celebrating, dude.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we're celebrating works in the room by being with each other that's true hi guys I love y'all.
Speaker 1:we're gonna celebrate with a corpse of galen dundugal because I'm feeling this Croc-Dest Mountain is not going to be kind to us today. I don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 2:Hello Princess, funny Bone, welcome. Happy Saturday Also. Two weeks ago was the anniversary of actually playing, the one year anniversary.
Speaker 1:Really, that's amazing.
Speaker 2:We've been playing. I know, yeah, it was a long year, it was a very long year being a shutout it was a long year, Still kind of longish.
Speaker 1:you know lots of shuttiness still happening around the country. Princess Funnybone, hope you're hammering those windows shut, or whatever one does to prepare for a hurricane. Oh my gosh, no kidding. No kidding. I've got my windows shut for other reasons, because there's smoke in the air from all the fires up in NorCal, where I'm at.
Speaker 2:Endured, endured.
Speaker 1:Indudably.
Speaker 2:I don't know, I'm just surprised that we've stuck with it so consistently.
Speaker 1:If there's one thing I know about Ben Costa is he loves consistency. He loves his consistency Nice, thick consistency.
Speaker 2:One way to put it. This is an inside joke because I, you know, I I play with a group separate from them and he's cheating on us.
Speaker 1:So our other group is very inconsistent well, you know, like the challenge is like it's hard, we're very busy. It's hard. Everybody's got to do some adulting. Plus there's lots of work to be done actually creating the land of Eem and other stuff.
Speaker 2:Well, we seem to have found a spot that works.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean this is a pretty good time Generally. We've only missed like once or twice and it was kind of planned like we were going. We went away, I think we we skipped because you know last minute things happen. But I mean we're talking about 50 episodes, that's. That's pretty incredible which is funny.
Speaker 2:How dare you?
Speaker 1:cheat on your group. You know ben will do anything for dnd. You know it's.
Speaker 2:Uh, we don't fault him, we've just accepted that about him g on my group would be, if I like didn't play with you guys, to play with them. That that's never happened.
Speaker 1:I mean, it'd be like if you didn't bring the energy to us, George. He can't let this go.
Speaker 2:And George, actually, you know, let's, let's put it all out in the open. You've played with them.
Speaker 1:I have played with them because they're so consistent.
Speaker 2:I really appreciate their consistency. It's tough, I'll do it.
Speaker 1:I'll do anything to play with Ben. That's just like what it boils down to. Look at that. You know Ben is my rock.
Speaker 2:My Dwayne, my rock, my Johnson, Wow. Well, today you were looking for a scrock George you're kind of like my John Cena, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1:You can't see me. You can't see me you guys just butchered my segue. Yeah it was uh, this is uh duane, the scrock nest mountain it's hard to not just hang out, it's hard to not thunder to my blade.
Speaker 2:Yes, princess the thunder to your dark.
Speaker 1:Yeah, the thunder wow, all right okay everybody, thank you for joining us. We're about to begin our quest, uh, or continue our quest on Scrocknest Mountain. Where'd we leave off? Uh, lord you um you would slain Firebeak.
Speaker 2:Firebeak, the bugbear hunter, was after to after to be initiated as a master hunter in his tribe, and yeah.
Speaker 1:Riley, that entire last week's episode was essentially a random encounter.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was like a side quest random encounter.
Speaker 1:This happens all the time, I think this story arc of the Serpathy would have been resolved in like 10 maybe quests if it hadn't been for the sandbox. Well things, stuff happens. It's amazing right Literally every hex. If you guys would just give me six hexes, I could make a difference in of heat, wow I'm in um, yeah. So I think the most important thing to remember about our current quest is, uh, the little man by the name of our blemmy still with us. By little means mean 10 feet tall.
Speaker 2:You've got Arblemi. You've got Zulg the Wooden Foot, because the pterosaur took his foot. That's right he crafted a foot out of wood for him and you just found an old horde. I got some you know minor items out of it.
Speaker 1:And we gave the nice spear to Polk.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I got tilted into it. I'm not going to use it anyways. True.
Speaker 2:Riley plummeted to her almost doom, but somehow remained unscathed. Good rolls, Although you have no courage. Basically, probably.
Speaker 1:Yeah, riley's gotten beat up. In the last 50 episodes I think I get critically hit every quest, or almost every quest. Well, the first 25 episodes, I think I was the one dying. We're falling unconscious all the time, and now it's like the Riley unconscious hour. We're falling unconscious all the time. Now it's the Riley Unconscious Hour. The Riley Unconscious Hour. Wow, yes, it's true. We've got to steal this egg.
Speaker 2:Eggs. Tell me, why are you stealing?
Speaker 1:this egg. We are stealing a giant Scrockwing egg because we need to trade it to the sorcerer living in the. Stone, yes, in exchange for recharging Sir Halnar, the Red's Dragonbolt I forget the name of it. Yeah, his family heirloom lance that we were going to get to him so that I didn't have to have a duel with him. Right, but we still also need a river sore tail. That's true, a shark from the core of the last tree, or dust from the fairy queen's wing Right? And a bottle of milk.
Speaker 2:And a bottle of milk.
Speaker 1:You're stealing it for the Jawas, says Princess Funnybone. It is exactly the plot of Mandalorian.
Speaker 2:We need to get our ship back.
Speaker 1:He's just going to break it open and drink it in front of you. Yeah, oh, thank you. I needed my protein to start my day. You know Got to protein up. You know he's a crossfitter. He needs to yeah oh, and he doesn't stop talking about it, ever, ever. It's always a leg day. You guys want to flip this tire with me? It's fine.
Speaker 2:Oh man, that's, it's cool, alright. So you wake up in the pterosaur's cave. It's a little disconcerting, but You're all alive and well and Polgrub decides that, since you helped him out, he'll accompany you to the Scrockwing cave or nest.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Thanks, buddy.
Speaker 1:Give him a hero tug.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, I gotta test out this spear.
Speaker 1:He's like testing its weight throws it out of the cave mouth and watches it plummet. Yeah, it's a this spear. He's like testing its weight throws it out of the wind, like the cave mouth, and watches it plummet. Yeah, it's a good spear. It was a good spear I should say yeah. I should have thought that through. Yeah, I was waiting for it to come back to my hand. Oh, boomerang.
Speaker 2:That's right, yeah, so, uh, what do you guys want to do? Anything?
Speaker 1:we want to craft or anything else to help ourselves out. I hadn't thought that far ahead, anything we need to do before we just go up the mountain, because I think we have an idea.
Speaker 2:Welcome, nate. It's my brother on Facebook, nate Costu.
Speaker 1:Attack it I immediately attack it. I roll to attack.
Speaker 2:I roll Costu Attack it, I immediately attack it, I roll to attack, attack George. Yeah, roll to kill Riley.
Speaker 1:We have to. Wasn't the what's his face Scrockwing? Hadn't he flown off the mountain to do his hunt?
Speaker 2:That's right.
Speaker 1:A finite amount of time yeah we discovered there might be an opportunity because he goes hunting or she goes hunting every two days he she we're not gonna assume its pronouns, but it does lay a gigantic, the gigantic predatory bird. Yes, um, I don't remember how long we had until it came back, though I think it was like two days or something.
Speaker 2:That sounds fair. You don't really know.
Speaker 1:It's a bird, it's not a bird. You don't know. It's a bird, it doesn't have a route, it's capricious, it does what it wants. Yeah, so let's head out for the day then Are we Should we roll to have healed overnight? Yeah, did we cook some of the? I thought we cooked some of the pterosaur. I think that's also fair. I thought we had, or maybe that's what I meant. Yeah, didn't we joke about eating a p terrorist?
Speaker 2:or like a like, oh yeah, Like a giant drumstick over the, over the fire. Yeah, isn't there like terrorists or recipe or something I don't know. That's a good point. Okay, I'll look it up. Okay, we're going to go look it up.
Speaker 1:Land of Eam cookbook, available spring 2022. Get your real, authentic recipes from the Mucklands. That is a tall order, but there is recipes they're cooking recipes in the book.
Speaker 2:But don't follow them in real life because you'll probably well, you'll probably have you'll have trouble like sourcing, like you know, the shell of a crab rack.
Speaker 1:There's some poor child out there who just gets a crab shell, puts it in a blender and sees you guys.
Speaker 2:There is no cooking recipe. It's unfortunate. Take the talon. That's right. We have large Talons.
Speaker 1:Do pterosaurs have large Talons?
Speaker 2:Galen, eat your dinner.
Speaker 1:I'm not a llama, ben, are you not? I am not, I'm not.
Speaker 2:Alright, yeah, so roll here, whatever.
Speaker 1:Is it a travel check? Realms check, yeah, is that?
Speaker 2:where we're at oh yeah, what is it?
Speaker 1:D6 plus our level. Well, if Riley has If I cook it's a D10.
Speaker 2:Five, five, except. I can't find my hit points.
Speaker 1:Six out of fourteen, I just assume I've done nearly nothing, yeah, nearly nothing. She was weakened. I guess I was at full. I don't see myself having taken any damage.
Speaker 2:Must be nice.
Speaker 1:Must be nice, all right.
Speaker 2:George, why don't you make a travel check?
Speaker 1:Take us to the I'm going to make a travel check.
Speaker 2:Head up the mountain.
Speaker 1:Head up a mountain. I guess that's a 10. An auspicious start to our journey.
Speaker 2:You know what? I don't think we've been playing it this way so far, but we'll definitely do it. On a Skrock Ness Mountain you only travel one hex per leg.
Speaker 1:That makes sense. Yeah, Especially like maybe through the bluffs it was was fine, but up a sheer cliff. It's difficult to progress quickly yeah, yeah um, I'm gonna go to. Oh god, I drew on the map and um new rules okay uh huh big boy rules.
Speaker 2:Well, we're starting to do this thing where it's kind of defining zones and how dangerous the zones are.
Speaker 1:Oh, is it Okay? All right, I get it.
Speaker 2:So Scrock Ness Mountain is pretty dangerous, so you're going to be minus two to your travel checks.
Speaker 1:Okay, Tiny pool of water on a mountain. Yeah, that's me drawing accidentally constantly, so refreshing. Yeah, here I'm going to move us to 21.4, which is a tiny pool of water. I'm going to draw it in. We find hot springs. I'm going to use a quest point to make gotta take a soak I know right, I smell terrible still.
Speaker 1:Uh, should I use a quest point to bump it from eight to a nine, then maybe valid? Yeah, I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. It's early. Yeah, it's an early quest point, but it might prove beneficial in the long run.
Speaker 2:Galen, you can search for resources or whatever. James, make a travel check.
Speaker 1:Or whatever Oof Seven.
Speaker 2:Minus two.
Speaker 1:Yeah, roll a 13 for searching for resources.
Speaker 2:Nice, okay, roll a. D6. James One.
Speaker 1:We both rolled one.
Speaker 2:All right, you made a wrong turn, oh no.
Speaker 1:We got caught up in that hot spring. Yeah, it was bubbly it was like Perrier it was wonderful.
Speaker 2:You can't just go down. I feel like that would be off the table. Yeah, that would be ridiculous, right, we're like oh this isn't up the mountain. It's down the mountain.
Speaker 1:Wait a minute. Shame on me.
Speaker 2:So James roll another D6.
Speaker 1:Oops, that's not a D6. Thank goodness I can't roll anything but a one.
Speaker 2:That's actually good for you.
Speaker 1:I would be good to go up. Yes, Still the optics of the ones is terrifying. Yeah, it is terrifying. Hopefully we're getting it all the way, but I doubt that.
Speaker 2:But now it's just a eerie portention um, and I tell you that's, that's the day, that is your day. It's a fast day on the mountain, you know, it seems like it just goes by real quick yeah, fast but uneventful day, which I appreciate.
Speaker 1:Our blemmy keeps uh, dragging the remainder of the pterosaur with him and just constantly snacking on it.
Speaker 2:He's like just horrifying, just like a dirty carcass. Now, yeah, flap, flappy and just sucking on the head.
Speaker 1:You know, we can barely. We can barely hear each other over the buzzing of flies. You'd think we'd be safe with the altitude, but no, no, these are scrock nest mountain flies yeah, they're size of your heartier breed, yeah yep, my poor uh tortoise is just no, I guess she just has a shell. They land the shell, they don't know how to deal with it, fly away. It's like put up lawn chairs and just kind of sun those little reflective panels.
Speaker 2:God sorry, it's land of ean so what do you guys talk about when you sit down For camp?
Speaker 1:Sorry, Real quick. Are we still considered the used to be forest In terms of items? Okay, if I got a 13, I get to pick an item, I guess some Sunder slab fragment. I don't know what that does, but we're getting it. See, riley, we sit down I say I found this along the way. You think it's worth anything? An interesting find. Let me see what I can make with that. But my table of contents has disappeared so I can't find what it can do. Thunderslap Ragband I don't know, I can't. Well, you could look at Blunt, blunt Bonk critical hit causes adversary to lose attack next turn. Interesting. So yeah, you can use it to modify a weapon. That's actually really good. It's very good. How does find work in this? Or we can use it to make troll armor Heal one courage at the beginning of every combat round. But we would also need troll bark, morb bark and then this fragment itself. That could be good for me.
Speaker 1:Thank you, Galenen I'm gonna hold on to this. I'm not wearing any kind of armor at all, so troll armor sounds great, trolly, trolly. I could use it after the beating I took over the last adventure gotta tell you I'm still sore. Um, our blemi, hearing you say that you're still sore, actually reaches out to give you a shoulder rub, but you're concerned that he's going to eat you. Remember, I'm a friend, I'm not delicious.
Speaker 2:Our friend.
Speaker 1:You must be pretty full, though, after eating all that. Pterosaur Are hungry, are hungo, are hungo, are have fast metabolism.
Speaker 2:Good thing you've got another 600 pounds of meat there.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's like only 300 pounds left. He's 100 pounds a day. Yeah, it's 100 pounds a leg before he's going to eat us. Zona Inbok is meanwhile getting mountain Scrocknest mountain nutrients into his bloodstream, and growing ever powerful. Yeah. You should try some of my salad. It is wonderful.
Speaker 2:Do you have any interesting stories from your past or some questions you want to ask each other, or are you good?
Speaker 1:Maybe next one, just so I can ponder for a second. Yeah, we haven't done too much this quest to kind of spark my creativity. Yeah, I'm good, what is happening? What is happening, we're going to die, you've come. Ben can't get through the delivery.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:GM's rolling without saying anything. He's building monsters, something's going on yeah, wandering creatures.
Speaker 2:You know, I believe it, I believe it.
Speaker 1:There's a lot of wandering creatures on.
Speaker 2:I believe it there's a lot of wandering creatures on this mountain.
Speaker 1:It's a highly populated mountain filled with dangerous stuff. Princess Funnybone, yes, absolutely. Riley is super soft and squishy, so I like the idea of going on a quest to find the items I need for this armor.
Speaker 2:As you guys are sitting there around the fire eating or whatnot. Um, about five uh bandits, bandit looking people so immediately various species.
Speaker 1:Got some boggarts and goblins put my helmet back on shunk they're like hey, you need to clear out of here. I immediately commanding presence them. I stand up in my bulwark helmet and I say I am a paladin bulwark you need to clear out of here. Pull out my axe. I'm going to say yeah, he's a paladin bulwark and give a pep talk to give you advantage on this roll. Nice, thank you.
Speaker 2:So what is your total that you're working with here, George?
Speaker 1:Intimidate plus three.
Speaker 2:With advantage.
Speaker 1:With advantage and advantageous plus three. Can with advantage and advantageous plus three can't get better than that, literally literally the thing we did. Uh, it's gonna be well, I don't know. I mean it's first roll of a nine, it's a nine niner.
Speaker 2:I think it's just enough to maybe uh perk some goons um, yeah they go, is just enough to maybe irk some goons. Yeah, they go. You're going to ruin everything. Run, they just run off into the night of the mountain, the mountain of the night.
Speaker 1:The mountain of the night. I wonder what they were up to up here. Yeah, there's not a lot to bandit up here, although weren't we looking? That's an interesting lot to band it up.
Speaker 2:Here you're gonna, although weren't we looking was?
Speaker 1:an interesting thing to say. Yeah, weren't we looking for that guy's? Oh no, his carriage got carried away by the scroxness. Yeah, it might be in the nest, but we don't know, we're gonna ride it down the mountain in a comical spectacular yeah. Spectacular fashion. It's going to be awesome. Okay, I shrug. Our blemmy is like food to go. He chases him off into the night. Wow yeah, you hear just the screams of bandits on a mountain as the blemish is chasing them down.
Speaker 2:No, that's not what happens.
Speaker 1:Could be if you willed it to be, If you willed it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, our blemish is not the most courageous creature to go running off into the night.
Speaker 1:No, Hungry meandering beast that's earnest and doing his best.
Speaker 2:It's like more cowardly than you guys.
Speaker 1:That's saying something, If you've noticed he hasn't participated in any fights. It's true. Yeah, because it's like doesn't give him food immediately. I don't want to fight for his food. Yeah, I think Galen, satisfied with his show of force to these banditos, settles in for the night.
Speaker 2:Okay, you guys are all murdered in your sleep.
Speaker 1:Cool by our blemmy himself. After defanging him to the PCs, he eats them. After defanging him to the PCs, he eats them.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so night passes, you guys can roll rations, that's a thing you guys have.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, I've got a ration still. Let's see if I have two. I'm hoping I have two Got a ration and a Naked Donkey. Still, let's see what the lizard chicken eats. That is generous and leaves me some ration for myself.
Speaker 2:I also do not eat all of this. You were going to let the chicken eat before you.
Speaker 1:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2:Must appease Claudia.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I still live in constant fear of Claudia's razor sharp talents. She's got the golden arrow she bursts fire. Yeah, I mean, there's not a lot she can't do. Claudia's probably more suited for the quest than we are. Yeah, claudia, claudia, I'm here, do it now.
Speaker 2:You guys are awoken in the morning by a shift in light as the world becomes dark in the morning. By a shift in light as the world becomes dark.
Speaker 1:Oh boy. Alright let's camp out until the Skrockness leaves again, one month from now. Was it in fact a Skrockwing? Yeah, yeah I hide under in some bushes. I just open like staring up in the sky since the shit it changed in light and I open my eyes while I'm on my back and I'm just like petrified, I can't move, just feels like it's passing over my eyes for like an hour.
Speaker 2:Yeah, pitchwing does not see you at all, but it looks like the creature's heading back to the peak of the mountain.
Speaker 1:Hmm, Does she have anything in her like talons, claws? Whatever Is she carrying anything? There's an elephant in each hand. Yeah, we see Hellnarr the Red in one claw, two like one-galopes Wow.
Speaker 2:Yeah, why not? It's got two one-galopes, two, that's.
Speaker 1:Flying one-galopes. We should have done research on Scrockwings and learned everything we possibly Could about their behaviors before we went up the mountain. I would say that's 100% not on Brand for us. That's true, alright.
Speaker 2:You know Raleigh's. What do you want to know about the Scrock wing? Well, for one.
Speaker 1:I jump up in fright and say where'd you come from?
Speaker 2:I was taking a leak.
Speaker 1:In the bushes over there All night. I thought you left us. Why didn't you say anything?
Speaker 2:by the fire, he had dinner with us, told you I was going to come with you. I know, I know you were going to come with us.
Speaker 1:But I told you I was going to come with you. I know, no, I know you were going to come with us, but I just didn't notice you were there. I'm sorry. I put the back of my hand to Galen's head to check for a fever. It's blazing hot. It's the curse. I'm just.
Speaker 2:He's got holes in his brains now.
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh God, it's like my brain is turning into stinky Swiss cheese.
Speaker 2:Stinky Swiss cheese. Look, scrock Wings. You know what can I tell you about them? They're big. Okay, they're big.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:And they like shiny things.
Speaker 1:Shiny things, interesting Shiny things. I look at his new spear. It is the shiniest thing that we have.
Speaker 2:What, what, what about that axe?
Speaker 1:No a, it's like literally black. It's a black about this gray glitter or does the chinese like? Sparkly does have glitter, it's pretty small but yeah, maybe if we set up a series of mirrors. This is funny. Everyone says hide the arrow.
Speaker 2:Yeah, seriously, we're going to hide the arrow.
Speaker 1:We almost lost it once let's see Dwimmer steel, adamant gray glitter, or I wonder if we could create a sparkle thing. Take a couple of these things and make a little lot of it. See, if we can't get it off the mountain or launch it some way. Yeah.
Speaker 2:I just want to make something clear. It's pretty incredible that we killed the pterosaur, but there's no way we could kill a skrokwing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I got the sense when we saw it carrying two adult bungalows on its hands. Yeah, those are like the size of elephants, yeah. So what do you think? If we can create something really, really shiny, some, some combination of items that's super shiny, and get it to follow it or to, maybe we can like roll it down a, a bear, one of the barren sides of the mountain, or oh, so it chases it away yeah, like we could launch it somehow. I don't have that many items to like tinker with at the moment.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't have a lot of items, that's fine. I mean maybe we should just go up and like assess the scene. We have this knowledge. But Princess Funnybone says hide the arrow. Fine, I mean we should. Maybe we should just go up and like assess the scene. I have, we know, we have this knowledge. But princess funny, bone says hide the arrow yeah, yeah, hide it right in his eye, you know um no uh, you could shoot the arrow yeah that's true, bye, bye arrow.
Speaker 1:Yeah, bye, bye arrow. But you know, claudia actually refuses to give up the arrow, and that's different, like when she hears us talking about that she gets.
Speaker 2:Don't blame it on. No, no, no, no, no she's, I know it's never, it's not, it's not the power game at all.
Speaker 1:The lizard is getting fired up, literally. You know. He's blowing flames every time we come near him to get the arrow. It's just. It's not a good scenario, guys. So what if I repaired? What if I took the time to repair the pocket? Hang glider and attach some jankly bits to it?
Speaker 1:I have a diamond cleaver. You have a diamond cleaver? Yeah, I don't. I don't necessarily give it up either. I'm willing to give up the pocket hang glider. That's your Riley. That's your dream, I know. But we gotta get this. You know my dream's not worth anything if I get smushed by Halar or the sorcerer let's go up and like see If I get smushed by Halar or the sorcerer. Let's go up and like see, get a lay, like survey the land and see what it looks like Like the land outside of her.
Speaker 1:It's going to be one of those things where we like, make a harrowing climb, and as soon as we get to it, it just like a giant yellow eye opens up. Yeah, or I also like imagine it'll be a little bit like the money Python and the Holy grail when they get to the cave mouth and they're all peeking over just like torn apart, raptor sized babies.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, that would actually be kind of an amazing fight, like fighting a bunch of scrapping babies. Um, next time on, uh, I think. Therefore, galen is yeah, I, I want to. I wouldn't head up the mountain a little farther? Okay, let's do it. Let's let's head up the mountain, assess. We've got a couple of plans that we could enact. Let's just be quiet, because that, now that you've said that I'm going to roll this travel check and it's not going to be, quiet.
Speaker 1:I'm just saying it right now. Let's see 7's not bad, minus 2? It's minus 2. I use a quest point to make it a 6.
Speaker 2:Alright, roll a d6.
Speaker 1:It's a 6. What's the best possible outcome on a D6. It's a six. It's the best possible outcome on a D6. I don't know if that's true. I can never remember what it is.
Speaker 2:I think it's an inter-party conflict.
Speaker 1:Blimey, put her down, blimey, hey, hey, hey, hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Let's not get crazy here. I'll be like waving my salted meat. This monster wants to eat you, Riley Look.
Speaker 2:Arr hungry. He's just hungry here.
Speaker 1:Arr blemmy. How about some salted meats? Don't give him all the meat, no, how about some?
Speaker 2:fresh. What happened to the pterosaur? It's all gone.
Speaker 1:How about a nice big Squawk we get? Can we just send him in? Can we just send him in? Galen says this. Galen absolutely says Can we just send him in?
Speaker 2:No, we can't send him in. I love Simmonin.
Speaker 1:What.
Speaker 2:God, I love Simmonin.
Speaker 1:Simmonin in cave. Over there, simmonin, simmonin rolls. Galen just exasperated. It's probably over there. Just get out of here.
Speaker 2:That's kicking rocks yeah.
Speaker 1:Look, how about a nice big juicy squawking egg? We'll make an omelet for you, claudia run.
Speaker 2:Make it a charm.
Speaker 1:check, make it a charm check, oh boy Seven.
Speaker 2:Fine, but then he grabs all your salted meats and just devours them.
Speaker 1:It's the end of the salted meats. They lasted a long time, many sessions, all right, I'm officially Many, many sessions, many, many, many. Better be good. Okay, it will be good. I say is this plummy threatening us? Yeah, he's threatening us. Is it time for Thunderblade?
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 1:I think it's time for Thunderblade.
Speaker 2:Now the last thing we need is Thunder Blade. We're trying to steal this egg and get out of here.
Speaker 1:Right, right, right. We don't need to rock the boat with a Scrockwing nearby. Scrock the boat. Don't Scrock the boat, baby.
Speaker 2:Don't Scrock the boat. Don't Scrock the boat, Don't tip the boat over. All right, so you have another check to get to the tippy top all right, riley, I believe in you.
Speaker 1:I tell people at work I believe in them before they're about to do things and like people get surprisingly like emotional about it. They're like yo, that's pretty sweet, I'm like what I like, say it all the time to people at work, like yeah, like everywhere all around me, like I believe in you, you can do this. I believe that's like surprisingly positive. Sometimes I add a peter. Yeah, it's not a peter okay, so that's a five.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that is a rock solid, five Roll a d100. 100 pterosaurs blank in the sky, great pterosaurs, Grock Wayne, Comfort, Six to seven Um Blanket the sky In the great terrasaur, Scrockway and Comfort. Six to seven, three crag lizards.
Speaker 1:What.
Speaker 2:Chase a boggle who he recognizes as one of the bandits that you saw earlier. These three crag lizards are chasing a boggle who's running for his life. He seems to be coming out of some cave up here.
Speaker 1:Is he carrying anything?
Speaker 2:No, he's got their wallets. No, it's got their wallets but they're headed like straight towards you. He says help.
Speaker 1:I'll say over here, are the lizards like sentient creatures or are they just kind of like beasts? They're critters okay, they're critters. What Beasts they're critters?
Speaker 2:Okay, they're critters. Okay, what You're telling him to call, like calling him to come to you?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'll tell the boggle to come over here and then we can like square off against the lizards together. They look like this, they're like bear, they're huge, he's huge, he thinks he's huge.
Speaker 2:He thinks he's huge. Okay, um, yeah, it's happening. Um, what do you want to do when they, when everyone arrives?
Speaker 1:I am going to uh clobber one in the nose, hide behind a rock and disembody someone.
Speaker 2:All right, so I guess, Sorry, George.
Speaker 1:George's face made me laugh because he's just looking emotionlessly in the distance. I'm going to kill them all yeah, pretty much All right. Got some Craig lizards over here. You know what I mean Craig T Nelson.
Speaker 2:So it sounds like you're going to make initiative rolls.
Speaker 1:Yeah, in this instance I am Okay, I'm going to make an initiative. Rollie rollie, I go second. They surprise me. They're faster than I thought.
Speaker 2:Booyah.
Speaker 1:That's a 12. It's either 12s or 1s for Riley. Yeah, 12s or 1s, that's how I roll, mm-hmm.
Speaker 2:All right, riley, what are you doing?
Speaker 1:Well, now that the Nimbus Hammer has returned from the clouds and is in expression again. Yeah, we wake up in the morning and we see it just like coming down from the sky. Yeah, just like swoops down like a little cloud into my hand. Again. I'm going to do a double clobber on the closest crag lizard Double clobber.
Speaker 2:It's clobbering time.
Speaker 1:No way, that's two elevens. Look at you, riley is the lizard slaying queen.
Speaker 2:Minus one, so, but you know, still the same result.
Speaker 1:True that let's roll some dread.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, six and four, ten Nice. 6 and 4, 10 nice. You take out one of them. Nice, defeated actually our blemish runs away num nums.
Speaker 1:Our blemish chases it down the mountain.
Speaker 2:It's comical, ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba, ba, ba, ba, ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba Network television On UHF.
Speaker 1:We're on UHF.
Speaker 2:Critically hits the boggle, oh no.
Speaker 1:I'm fine with this.
Speaker 2:He's just completely devouring the boggle. It's like wow.
Speaker 1:This all happens in the space.
Speaker 2:It's like come on over here.
Speaker 1:Okay, I'll say he might still be alive in there and I try to chop open the. I'll see he might still be alive in there and I try to chop open the list. Oh, my god, it's like Jonah and the whale. Yeah, it just wrests him out of there.
Speaker 2:Oh, gosh thanks yes. The second one attacks Riley. That is what is your defense? Plus one. My D is plus one. It's a hit with a counterattack. All right, d is your defense, plus one, my D is plus one. Say hit with a counterattack, all right, d is on defense. Mack'em, it's a seven Deals, five dread to you.
Speaker 1:Oh wait, no Temporary. Thank goodness gracious, I'm still at six great four five all right.
Speaker 2:So you hit with a counter attack again.
Speaker 1:I hit with a six yeah and I always forget three dread okay, it's, uh, returns, it's blow.
Speaker 2:And uh, it's another hit with a counter-attack.
Speaker 1:Wow got like a duel going on here I was gonna say riley's dueling, she's stealing my style that's a five. It's minus one, right.
Speaker 2:All Riley can think of is at least I won't get hit again.
Speaker 1:That's another six You've taken another six dread. I'm at zero. Do I do dread? Oh, yes, right, I will Stout Heart At this point. You might as well yeah totally I'll. Stout heart. Amazing, I mean, at this point you might as well. Yeah, totally, totally, I'll stout heart. So I take three Stuttgart and I do four dread back. It's enough to kill it, kind of will that to be true.
Speaker 2:Yeah, seven, you've done seven to it. Yeah, it's not enough. It's never enough and that is a nice clean hit on you.
Speaker 1:Oh riley, critical hit so oh god, it just had to. I'm sorry I shouldn't have had you. Wow, well it's actually two plus one, bernard, steps in and blocks the DM.
Speaker 2:George.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm going to try to. Can I sweeping strike two lizards? Mm-hmm, george? Yeah, I'm going to try to. Can I sweeping strike two lizards?
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1:Okay, I sweeping strike. It's been a while since I've gotten to use that. It's one of my favorite abilities Roll the 12 plus 2., 6. And they can both counterattack me, but let me resolve my damage. You will have to use a quest point. I used my last quest point and they can both counterattack me, but let me resolve my damage first. You will have to use a quest point. I used my last quest point. I rolled a 10.
Speaker 1:Ah, two damage to each of them Might be enough to kill the one in front of Riley.
Speaker 2:But you also do bleed.
Speaker 1:No, it's only if I roll a 9 plus Nice. Well, I mean nice for you, but Not for me yeah, you don't Kill either of them. And they both counter attack me. Party wipe to Crag lizards. They both counterattack me Party wipe to Crag Lizards. So one of them counterattacks, you oh come on, I have a zero defense.
Speaker 2:Okay, three, four dread. The other one is like digesting and just kind of shrinks away.
Speaker 1:Riley, did you count your temporary hit points from?
Speaker 2:my armor. I did. I did, it saved me 28 minus 4 is 23. You got to make a vitality check. Oh, that's right.
Speaker 1:Five Five Quest point.
Speaker 2:Quest, punta Quest.
Speaker 1:Punta. I got plenty of them, alright.
Speaker 2:I'm going to say that these crag lizards know when to run. No, they don't.
Speaker 1:Because I'm going to chase them. It's not our blemish that does it, it's Galen that runs down them up. They start running One of them still has that bandit in its belly. Can I run it down on FB's turtle back, tortoise back. Yeah, you could, I'm going to do it. I'm going to try to get the one that has the bandit in it.
Speaker 1:Maybe we can get him out. All right, I use FB, I hop on her back and I say ram him, and she goes. I do a wilderness check that's three. That's an 11. Or, oh no, sorry, that would just be the attack. So it's going to be a 10. It's a 10. It's a 10. Hits. She does d10, dread to the adversary One, but she knocks it over.
Speaker 2:That's preventing his escape. Yeah, you knock the creature over and you see the outline of the focal.
Speaker 1:It's like kicking and punching inside For me what a who?
Speaker 2:No, no, there's no movement.
Speaker 1:oh, he took a critical hit I mean, but you said he got swallowed whole. I'm just saying, no, it's fine, I want to see what he stole. Uh, and that's what I'm doing, this at all. Uh, george has to save the mongrel. He can't let it go.
Speaker 2:I've committed at this point All right, the other one slithers off into the rocks, but you have this one here.
Speaker 1:I've got you right where I want you.
Speaker 2:It's on its back flailing and it's like all sluggish from eating.
Speaker 1:I decaffeinate it.
Speaker 2:Wow. I'll make these mountains safe again. All right, you decaffeinate. The crag lizard. Coffee sprays everywhere, everywhere, everywhere, burning hot coffee.
Speaker 1:I try to get the Boggle's bottle Boggle, boggle.
Speaker 2:Little borrow, little short guy.
Speaker 1:Little short guy guy in the hole. I try to fish him out and see what his status is.
Speaker 2:This is all grizzly business.
Speaker 1:Our blemmy actually throws up. It's like a whole pterosaur leg comes out and he's like food.
Speaker 2:But then he kind of makes that face.
Speaker 1:A little bit of goulash down here. You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:He took a nasty bite across his torso. He's dead.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he's lizard food. They got really fast digestion too, so he's kind of halfway there already he's just a skeleton.
Speaker 2:He's the guy from RoboCop, oh no no. He got shot in the junk.
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 2:No, no, the toxic waste.
Speaker 1:The thing that bothers me more than anything in the world. Oh, okay, the toxic waste guy in RoboCop.
Speaker 2:Oh God, yeah, I mean that's fair. Oh, it's horrifying.
Speaker 1:Ben, can I search this? Well, now that Land of Eme is turned into a Morkborg quest, yeah, hey, I mean, you know Galen wanted to do certain things, you know, yeah, he went there. You know it's. It was all it was really. He was trying to save a guy, so it came from a good place. I thought there might be a chance and I also want to kind of see if there's any clues on this guy to determine what these bandits were doing yeah, what like?
Speaker 2:what what bandits were doing? They were kind of mysterious.
Speaker 1:They were kind of mysterious. Yeah, it seemed like they were trying to get us off the mountain, not necessarily, like you know, rob us or something. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so you search this stuff. You know he has. He has a simple dagger. He's got a a now wet map Jesus.
Speaker 1:Galen's like brings it out. Oh, what do we have here?
Speaker 2:It is a rudimentary map of the mountain. It has marked the Scrockwing's nest, as well as Alistair, what's-his-face's treasure, the Merchant's Caravan, okay's treasure, oh, okay.
Speaker 1:Yeah, the merchant's wagon Jadly, Alistair, jadly.
Speaker 2:But it just says Alistair, what's-his-face on the map?
Speaker 1:Oh, fair enough. I'm reading the map and I'm like Jadly, it's Jadly.
Speaker 2:But they seem to have scouted out the place better than you and have like a clear path to the nest this is awesome.
Speaker 1:I'm so glad this is cool I uh I take a few seconds to dig this guy's shallow grave.
Speaker 2:Zone.
Speaker 1:Anbach watches. Are you going to?
Speaker 2:Are fair game yeah.
Speaker 1:I'm assuming I'm conscious again, or am I?
Speaker 2:just oh, and I haven't even checked on you.
Speaker 1:I'll put my finger up to the R Blemmy, like I'm Han Solo.
Speaker 2:No, don't start now.
Speaker 1:I pointed the blemmy and then I pointed the lizard, and I give him the thumbs up.
Speaker 2:Just like right up to his belly face it's like a tail sticking out of his mouth.
Speaker 1:He's eating it like a corn cob. He's just going eating it like a corn cob. He said this is what the kids tune in for. Oh jeez.
Speaker 2:Lizard on the cob.
Speaker 1:Lizard on the cob. That is canon in Land of Eam.
Speaker 2:Tearing up the room. Our nap now.
Speaker 1:Alright, go for it, arp, we'll get the heck away from this guy.
Speaker 2:He's going to sneak away while he's sleeping.
Speaker 1:He's a huge danger to the party.
Speaker 2:He just wanders over to some bushes and instantly you hear him snoring.
Speaker 1:With whatever remains. Can we carve up some crag lizard steak from the crag lizards? It's a recipe, but it has no benefit. Where is this? The cooking recipes? Okay, 50, 90, 60. Do we need crag lizard scales? I think crag lizard is only found in one spot so far.
Speaker 2:No, there's like crag lizard armor oh.
Speaker 1:I see it as well as dragon scale potion. Oh, I was making it all one word. That's why my bad.
Speaker 2:Just say that the stake heals three courage.
Speaker 1:Nice, nice. We need a dragon lily, and when we can make you a dragon scale potion, you get minus one defense for entire combat. Or we have a mountain tooth. You can make crag scale boots for yourself. Interesting, don't we have a mountain tooth? I don't. It's in the list of components I gave you. Oh, I don't have that on my character sheet.
Speaker 2:Well, I guess it got lost in the shuffle. You don't have it. No, big boy rules.
Speaker 1:I think. I mean maybe when we camp you can cobble some together for yourself, because that gives you two block.
Speaker 2:It is heavy armor, though, Well, let me ask you Are you going to camp before you, because you will be at the top. Yeah, I don't Of the mountain.
Speaker 1:I turn to Riley.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, riley, you got to roll a D6 plus your level.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's right. Yes, yes, look at you. That's what I'm talking about. Look at us. What level am I? Level 8. Beautiful, okay. So what do you want to do, george? Hmm, um, just sneak closer. Whereabouts are we? We were outside the mouth of the Scrockwing nest, according to this map. What is the other way? There was a cave that was probably infested with the crag lizards that this guy was trying to go through.
Speaker 2:I mean you had not reached the Scrockwing nest yet.
Speaker 1:So we need one more travel check.
Speaker 2:No, you're in the area and you have the map that will lead you there.
Speaker 1:Okay, I like it. Uh, could we follow the map and see kind of where it takes us?
Speaker 2:yeah, you know you've got got. Night is falling. You follow the map it's cold up here now and you climb the rocks. You get to a point where it's kind of a sheer climb.
Speaker 1:Oh, where's Blimmy? We left him sleeping. He's really good at climbing. I mean, you want to climb and use the rope to keep us safe? Yeah, we can use the druidic rope to kind of just get ahead of us a little bit, tie it off to tree roots or like jutting rocks or something, so we don't party wipe climbing the peak of this mountain? Alright, I'll give it a shot, I'll climb. What's it? Athletics, yeah, mathletics. Scrambles up, scrambles. Alright, riley, you climb up the side, up, scrambles.
Speaker 2:All right, riley. You climb up the side of the cliff and once you get to the top, you're immediately protected, kind of from view, because there are big rocks between you and the creature that you see in front of you. Uh, you don't. It's not like the face or anything, but you see like huge form and feathers and like the ground, you know, it's like covered in branches and twigs, it's like the creature's nest. Um, but make a metal check. Oh gosh.
Speaker 1:Eleven.
Speaker 2:Nice, yeah, you're able to take in this huge, monstrous sight and sort of swallow your fear.
Speaker 1:Is it awake or asleep?
Speaker 2:It seems just to be breathing. It's not doing anything.
Speaker 1:At rest. Can I? Can I climb back down until share all of this with Galen?
Speaker 2:I've already climbed up behind you. Whoa, that's crazy right.
Speaker 1:He's like right behind me.
Speaker 2:Oh, geez Um you'll, you'll have to make another check.
Speaker 1:I won't want to go back up I want to go up to you, right, yeah, yeah, I won't go. I'll like gesture for him to come up um and I'll scan, like the nest, to see if I can't see an egg.
Speaker 2:Yes, uh, tenor tenor yeah, you get up without any issue.
Speaker 1:I don't even use the rope, I just leap.
Speaker 2:Do you want Paul Grubb to come up?
Speaker 1:He should come up because he'd probably be interested as a hunter. I can roll for him. D-12, that's a five I have, like we have the rope plus two.
Speaker 2:okay, so seven all right, he makes a little bit of noise, um, like slipping on the rocks. There's a like clatter yeah, and you see this uh rockwing like shuffle and its wings get a better view of its wings um lift up and it's like massive and like a whiff of air blows in your face. It's like, if it takes off, it'll knock us off the mountain oh it 100. Well yeah, pole grub at the side of this um will have a negative to his metal check that you could roll.
Speaker 1:I shouldn't have come.
Speaker 2:He will have a flat metal check.
Speaker 1:Do I need to roll one too, ben, oh, yeah.
Speaker 2:I forgot about that.
Speaker 1:I'm going to roll 2d12. I'll be the first one. Fair enough, he has an 8, and I critically metallic.
Speaker 2:Nice. So he's like Doesn't look so tough. Look, I'm just going to, I'll stay right here.
Speaker 1:You hear him like, you hear him fart out of fear.
Speaker 2:It's like If anything goes down, I got your back. Hopefully nothing goes down because we're not.
Speaker 1:We're going to steal it and get out of here. I lean into PolarGrib and I say I pray that you're worthy of the spear, Polgrib, and I say I pray that you're worthy of the spear, riley rolls her eyes, like, of course, at this moment. Riley make a perception check. I do not succeed.
Speaker 2:Galen make one I roll d12.
Speaker 1:That's going to be an 8. I use a dark side point to make it a 9. Wow.
Speaker 2:Alright, you become Thunderblade, I am Thunderblade. Wow, alright, you become thunder blade, I am thunder blade um success of the twist. Okay, you see other movement deep within this nest, but you can't tell what something else out there, marco. So you've got like the big form of the Scrockwing and then like deeper inside in the shadows you see, something move.
Speaker 1:I, uh, I kind of you know what I'm going to ask. Philo Sim, quietly, philo, philo, you there? I forgot about Philo soon. Can you tell us anything about Scrockwing people?
Speaker 2:Oh hey, Keep it down.
Speaker 1:I whispered at you Can't you take a hint?
Speaker 2:I'm sorry, I didn't that. I'm sorry what?
Speaker 1:Every time he comes out, I feel like he's like Merlin in Sword in the Stone. He's been on vacation or he's just coming out of the shower. He's got a towel on his head.
Speaker 2:I was just on the beaches of Shandor Wow.
Speaker 1:I want to believe that he's like a bird form of Jeremy Irons. That's just how I picture it. Wow, birdform.
Speaker 2:So what? Why have you summoned me?
Speaker 1:We need to find out. Is there anything you can tell us about creatures that might cohabitate with Scrockw Scrock wings? Or is it just keep it's like babies around or something? I mean, there's something else in here with us?
Speaker 2:Do they have some sort of weakness?
Speaker 1:Also that.
Speaker 2:Hi, yes, scrock wings. Well quite a formidable beast. Are you sure you want to go in there? It's the first question.
Speaker 1:I point that way. We're already in here.
Speaker 2:It's likely that the Scrockwing is sitting on its eggs that take almost a year to hatch. Scrockwing eggs are heavy they're like stone.
Speaker 1:How heavy Like stone. Scroggling eggs are heavy. They're like stone. How heavy like stone. Riley's suddenly concerned that they won't be able to lift it. Well, I look around to see if I can spot the wagon of the guy. Uh, alistair's wagon.
Speaker 2:From your vantage point you can't. You can just see nest. The logical thing would be you'd have to move circle this beast. And Phyllis says I don't think a Scrockwing would tolerate anything in its nest besides its young.
Speaker 1:Okay, so then it's probably a little. Scrockwing or like it's a accountant or something and it's got a meeting.
Speaker 2:I don't think so you would hear the awful screech of their cries.
Speaker 1:I'm going to try to sneak a little closer. Well, what if we hose these people, whoever is in here and like, set off this croc wing and then hide? And then he sees them. He chases them out. We use the chaos to get the egg. That might work but.
Speaker 2:But. If you had a plan, go for it.
Speaker 1:I'm going to. Can I like grab like a feather, like a, molted like a, just like a big scrockling feather, and like hold it up over my body. It's like a giant palm frond. Yeah, like hold it, hold it over myself and do a sneak to get a little bit closer to see if I can get around and see what, what it is that's moving.
Speaker 2:Make a might check oh crap. The feathers are off. I do it.
Speaker 1:Nice.
Speaker 2:Yeah, just like the strong part of the feather is like deceptively heavy, okay, and I'll make a sneak check plus two Seven. Success with a twist.
Speaker 1:Success with a twist.
Speaker 2:You don't wake up the Scrockq wing, but you lock eyes with one of the bandits that you encountered. You see a Boggart, so you're facing this way, is he?
Speaker 1:as stunned to see me as I am him yeah.
Speaker 2:It's just like he's like.
Speaker 1:And I hold up. I hold up his buddy's head from the oh my God, we got your friend. Yeah, he's motioning you to like get out of here. I'm gonna motion him to like come over here, like we gotta get out of here. No, meanwhile I'm walking up to the bird. He's like in a trance. He walks up to the bird, just touching its feathers, like what an? Amazing beast. This is I'm listening to it like Jurassic Park.
Speaker 2:I put my ear on it. It just adjusts its wing once and you go flying off the mountain. Yeah, so you're having sort of a mime with this guy. Um, it's a mime off. Make an inspire check with disadvantage to uh, get him to listen to you seven. Um, all right, he, he seems exasperated but he comes over. Uh, he steps on a a big twig and cracks it. I was just about to say that and um, you hear a sort of a guttural bird noise, like the grunting of a bird, whatever that sounds like.
Speaker 1:It's actually adorable, but yeah.
Speaker 2:And it shifts its whole body and flaps its wings and all of you make nimbleness checks.
Speaker 1:Oh boy, oh yeah.
Speaker 2:Five.
Speaker 1:It's a four, it's a five. I could. I could use a quest point for six.
Speaker 2:Hmm, uh, you're going to take some dread.
Speaker 1:You don't go live. Yeah, I'm going to take. Uh, I'm going to use a quest point. Oh, you know what my armor doesn't give me a movement disadvantage? Oh no, I'm still minus one, nevermind. Oh, you know what my armor doesn't give me a movement disadvantage?
Speaker 2:Oh no, I'm still minus one, never mind Jungle life, george, you take two dread and you're all like prone and it's looking around.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I roll behind a rock. I'm going to like go stiff as a board underneath the feather Stiff behind a rock. I'm going to go stiff as a board underneath the feather Light as a feather stiff as a board, light as a feather, stiff as a board.
Speaker 2:Okay, make a sneak check. Galen Riley, make a sneak check. You'll have advantage with the feather on you.
Speaker 1:That's going to be a six. Six, also a six. It's also six. Sorry, got like just verbal diarrhea right now. All right.
Speaker 2:So everyone in this nest has just rolled a success with a twist.
Speaker 1:The twist is that we all think that we're safe. No, we all think the twist is that the?
Speaker 2:blemish pops his head up and be like where are you guys Are hungry.
Speaker 1:And everyone all looks at the blemish. He's standing in the cave mouth like face on chest arms, hungry or hungry or leave me behind. He's standing in the cave mouth like face on chest arms, hungry or hungry or leave me behind. It has to be. That has to be the twist, it's the best twist.
Speaker 2:All right, but he's talking to one of you.
Speaker 1:Who? Let me see. If it's Polgrub, let's see what his sneak check is. Oh no, he's a six also.
Speaker 2:Yeah, let's say it's Polgrub.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:And Polgrub's going shut up, Shut up. The Scrockwing swivels its head and now it's staring directly at those two and it lets out a horrifying screech oh, this is bad, you guys are in a conflict.
Speaker 1:It doesn't know you're there, but we got to get the arrow and throw it, dude. No, the diamond cleaver, just hurl it. Nope, not going to do it.
Speaker 2:Maybe you see like once it like swivels around and kind of lifts its body, you see it sitting on the egg and then you also see like like broken wood in the corner. That's gotta be the wagon. So um it, it's intending to attack the blemish and Paul grub and um, where, what do you want to do? Where are you falling in this order? Nothing.
Speaker 1:Uh, man can. I uh, no, I think I. I think I should just throw the uh shoot the arrow. I don't remember what we were looking for in the wagon. Was it something specific that the merchant needed?
Speaker 2:I think he just wanted his stuff back right, yeah, like his cargo, just whatever.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it was and I wanted to use the wagon to transport the egg, hopefully, but, um, all right, I uh do that thing where people whistle here boy, here boy, here boy hit, and then I yeet the arrow out of the cave mouth. Wow, I do.
Speaker 2:Do you now want to shoot it out with something?
Speaker 1:I was about to say was about to do. How far does the thrown arrow go? I don't know. That's how claudia's been firing.
Speaker 2:Well, she's so the golden arrow, she's got a good throwing arm.
Speaker 1:I mean, she's you know well. Well, here's the thing. Right, the golden arrow automatically hits. So I just have to pick a target far enough away for it to hit. It's good to throw, it Does that make sense Like no.
Speaker 2:I mean like, not to like throw it. I was imagining she was shooting it, the same way she shoots fire.
Speaker 1:You just jam it in Lizard's mouth and then it fires it. Yeah, that's even better than I thought.
Speaker 2:I just always imagined a chicken wing hurling a spear.
Speaker 1:I just thought she was like you know, had a really amazing ability to throw it with her mouth or something um so that's what I thought it was like, you know, like the snake portion was like yeah. So right now I stand up. Claud Claudia leaps on my shoulder, the lizard head pops up with a locked and loaded arrow and it just fires a gout of flame, illuminating the sparkling golden arrow as it flies out of the mouth of the cave.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:It looks up at it for a second and then throws back in on all of us standing there because my armor is super shiny and it's much shinier than an arrow, I'm sure um who knows?
Speaker 2:I think just uh, uh, either either um I think there should be some role to determine what happens.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'd be happy to just roll an attack roll and infer the results based on that. Is that cool? I'm going to break my silence to give him a pep talk. It's like throw it over the moon, galen, so that he gets advantage on it. I succeed. I say don't talk to me, talk to the chicken, claudia clucks. And then nods at you in approval and then rolls. It's a 10. Or a flat 8, depending on how you want to interpret it.
Speaker 2:It's a negative match.
Speaker 1:Oh, right, right right, it's a 12.
Speaker 2:It's critical, that's awesome okay, uh, the the beast um is distracted by the arrow uh just zooming past his head and um, it's like a dog just plays, yeah, the rest of time and it immediately, just like leaps into the air knocking Blumy and Paul Grubb like off the cliff and you guys are just like. There's just like a swirl of air.
Speaker 1:I'm knocked back, sliding against the edge of the nest.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so this is all in a split second. So what are you doing in the next split seconds? I run for the egg.
Speaker 1:I run to see if there's a cart still there.
Speaker 2:Alright, so there's like a lot of stuff in here actually um it's an ancient horde. I take time to search through it there is, there's like bones, there's uh like gold, gold and stuff scattered everywhere. There's among the broken cart wagon obviously a merchant's wagon there are some chests and crates, and off on the other side you see this kind of rusty, broken down flying machine. Whoa, really I'm on it.
Speaker 1:I'm like goggles in, like trying to see if I can repair it or see what's going on. I'll start trying to load the egg onto the flying machine.
Speaker 2:Yeah, um, yeah, that's ben's like voice implying that that's not. You have no chance of making this work. Yeah, no, um, yeah, it's like yeah, make a check at disadvantage no, no, I'm gonna give you a pep talk too.
Speaker 1:Everyone's well I, I'm at, I'm.
Speaker 2:When I do repair, I am rolling at advantage okay so let me give you a just flat roll, I'm plus three already oh, so then you don't like?
Speaker 1:there's nothing I can do. This is my best thing. This is what I do best thing.
Speaker 2:This is what I do, wow, nice. So you see that there's like some fuel left in it. It could probably it could take you out of the nest.
Speaker 1:You don't know if how far it will take you I don't know how this thing's gonna hold hold together, but get in Everybody get in.
Speaker 2:They're kind of like jury rigging things together.
Speaker 1:I'm chewing bubble gum. I'll like plug a leak with it.
Speaker 2:It is a two person and there is room for cargo Zone. Inbox doesn't count, he can like sit with Riley.
Speaker 1:Well, we can not. I imagine the cargo is not as valuable as this, so we could maybe, instead of carrying cargo, get anybody else. I guess the blemish and there are no more. Alright, load everything up, we're going to take off, we're going to get out of here. I'm just wondering, right, so Fulgrub is dead.
Speaker 2:No, it's unlikely that he's outright dead.
Speaker 1:Maybe we can swing by. I hear my voice. I don't hear any feedback. Hello, hello, yeah, I hear you. It's a climactic moment. Do you want to like? Maybe I'm? I was just gonna say, if we take off, like I'll fly around to see if we can spot him, if he's like hanging on or fell somewhere, and then grab him and go if we're hearing it.
Speaker 2:Sorry if we're hearing it and james is in that man.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's james then, yeah, it and James is in it. Yeah, it's.
Speaker 2:James' end Test. Is that better? I hear myself.
Speaker 1:I do still. Yeah, that's really strange. You can fix this in post. There is no post. We never watch these videos again.
Speaker 2:Unplug it, plug it back in, is that better?
Speaker 1:Glade plugins. It's better, it's perfect.
Speaker 2:It's fixed.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I love it.
Speaker 2:Sorry about that Technical difficulties.
Speaker 1:Boy, oh boy, boing, boing. So we hop in the flying machine. I load up the first shiny object I see and a Scrockwing egg.
Speaker 2:Yeah, there is a horde here.
Speaker 1:I take all the ancient coins.
Speaker 2:You can hear the mighty screeches of the Scrockwing outside.
Speaker 1:It sounds like a giddy little child giggling at its new find. Sounds like a giddy little child giggling at its new find.
Speaker 2:How many checks do you want to make?
Speaker 1:It's an ominous question At the treasure hoard. No, I could give a dang about the treasure. But me, um, two checks, stanley, two checks, all right, I would. I would say, riley, take off, I'll catch up with you. Oh, I'm not taking off. I'm not leaving you behind. What are you crazy? Get this bird in the air. I'm right behind you when I tie it's like a giant bird I tie the juridic rope to my waist.
Speaker 1:And I tie the juridic rope to the flying machine, I say go, so it's just gonna unravel. You have like two seconds waist. And I tied the druidic rope to the flying machine and I say go, so it's just going to unravel you have like two seconds, don't wait for me. Alright, I'm like chugging the engine, getting it going, I'm ready to go and he's got like time for one check before he gets pulled into the sky.
Speaker 2:Roll it up, make a treasure hunting check. This is a no, it a d12 now oh sorry, thank you and then it's yeah, okay, got it so it's a eight, but you have bonuses. Um, it's plus two. Yeah, so it's a 10. I love it.
Speaker 1:Um, you find a magic item oh, it's my golden arrow.
Speaker 2:Come back to me. Uh, however, I'm hearing the feedback again anyway however the bandit grabs on to the the item. Whatever it is, roll a d200 62 item.
Speaker 1:whatever it is, Roll a d200.
Speaker 2:62. Looking up what the item is 62. It is amazing Fed war Great axe. Fed war Great axe the octopus.
Speaker 1:Another great axe. I am dual wheeled great axes until the day I die. The Fed war. Great axe of the octopus.
Speaker 2:Fed war. So you've got this like weird octopus looking axe and, uh, the boggart bandit grabs the hand like the handle of it, as as you're being pulled away, he's like give it, give it I feed a strength there?
Speaker 1:no, it's mine. Caelan's greed knows no bounds.
Speaker 2:The 14th wow, you toss him off the side of the mountain. No, I rip his arms off. I rip his arms off with it. I'll see you at the party Richter alright, you guys blast out of the nest. You see the scrock wing coming back to the nest like um.
Speaker 1:Below you are blemmy and pole grub are like oh I make coming to and I make a critical, I make a critical perception check to find pole grub. I was going to say, but um, is it possible we can get them?
Speaker 2:it'll take, uh, one heck of a a lasso one heck of a theodore lasso.
Speaker 1:it's a good thing that we have a lasso. We can't take the blemmy with us. He's too heavy, he'll eat us.
Speaker 2:Well, I mean, either way, this is too heavy. Oh, like if we?
Speaker 1:grab a controlled crash. We just need to glide down the mountain. We're going like we're going to come into the stone hot the mountain, we're going to come into the stone hot. Can I just use that critical perception check to make eye contact with Polgrub and give him the thumbs up? And he gives me the thumbs up because he's okay, we keep crashing.
Speaker 2:That's like the world you want to live in.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it is, but it's not how it goes. That's the world you want to live in.
Speaker 2:I mean we could see. Do you want the Scroc wing to go after you?
Speaker 1:no, no, no. Can I drop my mossy blanket on pulgar's body to like help him hide?
Speaker 2:sorry guys throw it down adam.
Speaker 1:Make a nimbleness check at minus two oh boy, just like the mossy blanket gets caught up in the rotor blades. Yeah, no, it's a zero, no, it's a one One.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it flies into Riley's face.
Speaker 1:For a brief moment, Galen has all these calculations swirling around his head like that one meme and he's like. I know the trajectory. Now, that is on brand and that is the world I want to live in.
Speaker 2:Yes, Riley, you are flying with no visibility.
Speaker 1:I instinctively pull up, but like really hard, like I pull up really hard to try to not hit the ground, so like the thing just goes like whoa.
Speaker 2:Yeah, all right. What is flying?
Speaker 1:Is it nibbleness, guess I guess I mean kind of like you're like a mechanic disparity tinker trick, you know okay all right yeah it's like a nimble. It's not a know-how it's your neck yeah, I guess you got a knack for flying.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like me, all right so yeah, roll at disadvantage, sorry really it's a three um, you fly this thing directly into the scrock wing. I'm sorry I failed.
Speaker 1:Like buzz its head, like bald on the top of its head.
Speaker 2:Oh no.
Speaker 1:Oh, this is bad.
Speaker 2:You all take One dread. That's good. It's the softest. You all take one dread, that's good it's the softest we're like.
Speaker 1:We only take one dread because we're now on the back of the scrock wing, land on.
Speaker 2:It's like feathery soft down um the scrock uh once, uh, the scrock uh once, uh, the Scrockwing kind of absorbs the blow and kind of spins in the air. Not sure what to attack. Uh, and then it goes after Paul Grubb.
Speaker 1:Oh no.
Speaker 2:Oh but. But yeah, make another nimbleness check to like right, that's a nine, alright. So you went spinning out of control and you were able to pull it up. You can see that you don't have like a ton of fuel.
Speaker 1:Can I do eye for clues at the control panel and see one that looks like fire Like? A symbol of fire.
Speaker 2:Oh, like afterburners.
Speaker 1:No, actually. Well, actually I was thinking if it has weapons, because I was going to try to pepper the bird to save Polgrub. Yeah, strafing run, so I can just get off a few shots of something and then get its attention away from Polgrub. Can I leap off of this thing? Can you leap off Onto the back of FB down below Waving a diamond cleaver in the air to draw the attention to the squawk wing? So you're running down the mountain. The squawk wing is like hovering above you, you'll be safe.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, maybe like between that and Riley's. Like peppering it, it'll forget about pole group.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you want to roll that eye for clues.
Speaker 1:Yes, I totally do it 13. Amazing. Okay, so describe that again, it's not really a weapon. It's actually like fireworks and it's when I launch it, it's like a flare or something. It's like a flare, it's going to give off a bunch of sparks because it's actually meant for signaling stuff to the ground.
Speaker 2:Oh, Can I?
Speaker 1:use, go ahead.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, go ahead, go ahead.
Speaker 1:I was going to say can I use Go ahead? Yeah, no, go ahead, Go ahead. I was going to say can I use Discerning Eye to create a weakness or vulnerability in the Scrockwing, saying it has a very oily top coat for its feathers. Okay, you see where. I'm going with this. I do Fire, that's a 13. I do Fire, that's a 13.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's really oily, especially when it's, you know, like incubating an egg. Yeah it retains heat.
Speaker 1:This gets really oily, so oily Just dripping canola oil. Yeah, oil, just dripping canola oil.
Speaker 2:Yeah, scrap oil is highly prized among chefs.
Speaker 1:Yeah, alright, I'm going to fire a firework Lighter up.
Speaker 2:Eight, alright, there's a big eight, all right. There's a. There's a big burst, sound of fireworks and flares, and you know the swirling smoke and a big pop of sparks and it lights up the, uh, the flames on the, on the bird's feathers. You hear a horrible screech. Um, it starts it, it goes into like landing mode, like flapping its wings.
Speaker 1:Um, drop this landing gear a bunch of lights. Come on, it's like a. Robotech.
Speaker 2:Robot landing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like, there you go.
Speaker 2:You see Polgrub and RBlemmy scrambling For their lives. Are you still going to jump, galen?
Speaker 1:Does it seem like it'll be enough For them to get away?
Speaker 2:It seems like it's possible, but not a question. Yeah, okay, but also you jumping into the phrase no guarantee of anything I mean it's no guarantee of anything except for entertaining content.
Speaker 1:You're also really high in the air, pushing our stats to the limits. Yeah, I turn to Riley. She can tell that I'm asking with my eyes, like should I do it? She can't even believe that he's considering jumping in of the pool. What are you crazy? He mistakes her silence for like assent and he jumps up. I say uh, riley, I've always loved you like a sister. Zona, write that down, it wasn't true. Zona, write that down, it wasn't true.
Speaker 2:Zona's like upside down. You better write that right.
Speaker 1:Zona. I turned back yelling at the person.
Speaker 2:I went on many times for your shenanigans.
Speaker 1:Yeah, faithful steed to have my steed follow complicated orders to gain advantage when performing stunts like catching me as I fall from the sky.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm going to say that you're still probably going to take Dread, no matter what happens.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's fine, I'm in for that. I can do Dread. Let me roll my 2d12.
Speaker 2:10 plus 3, so 13 nice, alright, you take this much dread FB catch me, but you can block.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I take. I won't count the block from being mounted on her, but, but I take 4. I won't count the block from being mounted on her because it would be ridiculous, but I take four dread because I have my armor. So I'm down to what is it? 21.
Speaker 2:20 out of 23.
Speaker 1:And and I'm on the back of FB. Like waving a diamond cleaver in the air, riding down the mountain at breakneck speed. All right, like waving a diamond cleaver in the air, riding down the mountain a breakneck speed.
Speaker 2:All right, um, I guess, roll an intimidate.
Speaker 1:Eight.
Speaker 2:All right, the um the Scrock wing is, you know, right after pulgrib and the blemmy were like scrambling down the mountain and you like right in on the on fb with the diamond cleaver in it it immediately turns towards you and gets a free attack.
Speaker 1:That's fine. It's going to be a critical.
Speaker 2:Yep.
Speaker 1:It never fails.
Speaker 2:I shrug it off.
Speaker 1:It's 10, 12 dread, minus 2 for being mounted and my armor. Then I'll roll a d8 to shrug it off and you are also snatched up. Oh my god. Riley's just shaking her head.
Speaker 1:I know what I'm going to do. It's insane. I know what I'm going to do. Oh, this is crazy. I'm going to do. It's insane. I know what I'm going to do. Oh, this is crazy. I love this game system, crud. Let me resolve my damage first. I've taken five damage total, so it's 23. Yeah, 23. All right, so you're essentially entangled, so it's 23.
Speaker 2:Yeah, 23. Alright, so you're essentially entangled. How high is he? He's lower than you now, so you could I mean, you're, like you know maybe 20 feet above him. Just because of the height of the scrub. Yeah, what are you going to do is because the height of the scrub. Yeah, what are you going to do?
Speaker 1:I'm going to pick on someone your own size. So let's go, George, and then I'm going to. I'm going to dump the rest of the fuel on this. Oh God, it's already on fire still. So I mean yeah.
Speaker 2:I'm coming around for another run. Let's do it.
Speaker 1:I love it.
Speaker 2:So we are approaching your hard stop, James.
Speaker 1:I know I do have a hard stop. Um, cliffhanger. I mean, like the squawking has got George in his claws, I'm pulling around to save him, like I don't know. Yeah, I'm fine with that. Yeah, next time on, next time on the land of? Is a cliffhanger to be continued? Mm, hmm.
Speaker 2:All right, will Riley die again or have to defy death two quests in a row?
Speaker 1:Or will Galen die this time? It's more likely Galen will die at this point. Yeah.
Speaker 2:But you've already gone unconscious, that's true. Oh, can Galen fight his way out from the innards of a Scrockling?
Speaker 1:But you've already gone unconscious, that's true. Oh, it could be the. Can Galen fight his way out from the innards of a Scroggling?
Speaker 2:Find out next time.
Speaker 1:Very special On episode 51 of Land of Eem.
Speaker 2:All right, everyone Thanks for watching, Uh we'll be next.
Speaker 1:we'll be back next week to continue these shenanigans and uh and if you want to play land of eam, go to land of eamcom. You can download the game for free. You can sign up for the newsletter and find out all about our uh, our upcoming kickstarter all right, see you next week.
Speaker 2:Take it easy, take care everybody. Bye.
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