Land of Eem: Actual Play

Quiche, Laxatives, and Bad Spores | Land of Eem Fantasy Actual Play S05EP10

• Ben Costa, James Parks, George Higgins • Season 5 • Episode 10

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A swamp tavern, a bad plan, and a living tower that beats like a heart—this episode of our family-friendly Land of Eem TTRPG Actual Play goes from jokes to jeopardy fast. Joined by Bellow and Chini, we journey south to reach Dark Shroom Tower, a cult stronghold sealed behind Fungals that only open to foul words. The bluff works… until it doesn’t. When the elder’s telepathy tears the lie apart, the door slams shut and we’re trapped inside, forced to turn the environment into our greatest weapon.

From acoustics for a sonic strike to torching the mycelium ceiling before it can regenerate, the battle becomes a puzzle of tactics, timing, and creative chaos. Crystal swords flash. The elder heals as quickly as we can wound. And then comes the most absurd Land of Eem solution imaginable: feeding laxatives to the tower itself to purge the corruption. It works—at a cost. The Dark Shroom’s essence floods into Hooch, making him the new locus of power as the cult kneels in stunned reverence. What follows is decisive and cathartic: hosts severed from parasites, thralls freed, and an elder seeking penance among the Fungals. For the first time, the living tower falls silent.

We stay to handle the aftermath—free fifteen prisoners, calm the shaken, and carve a safe road home. The loot haul is practical (a halberd, boots, a wizard hat, coin, and a fresh “Charge” trick), but the true reward is a community saved and a corrupt root chopped clean through. Seth and Fran choose river country, love, and rest, while the party shoulders the next leg of the journey across the Mucklands.

If you enjoy creative problem solving, strange magic systems, whimsical fantasy stakes, and set-piece battles built on audacity, this tale of a mushroom cult and a burning ceiling is peak Land of Eem Actual Play.

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SPEAKER_04:

Hey, what's up, guys? Hi, happy Saturday. Welcome Saturday. We are here to play some Land of Eam.

SPEAKER_08:

Some Land of Eam Stream. RPG the Eam Stream. Picking up season 40.

SPEAKER_04:

It's season 40, episode 40. You guys are in the quagmash, the gross swamp.

SPEAKER_14:

The mash. The quagmash. You're on the precipice of danger. Okay. I mean, we're always at the precipice of danger. Yeah, it's been a it's been a slog as of we like we like to live.

SPEAKER_12:

As is customary. It's a dangerous place.

SPEAKER_14:

And we never will get our 10 hex XP bonus. Not here. Not today. Not here. Not today. Not here. But I'm excited to try to surmount the insurmountable. All right. Dark Shroom Tower.

SPEAKER_04:

The Dark Shroom. Yeah, you guys are headed to Dark Shroom Tower, which is a place of evil. Evil. A cult of mushrooms who have kidnapped people. And you're not really sure what it's all about, but you have two mushroom companions.

SPEAKER_14:

No Bellow and Chini. Bellow and Chini. They come from Mushmash down south.

SPEAKER_04:

And uh they were on a quest themselves with a group of others to stop what's happening there. And you joined up with them. They've joined up with you. It's classic. Last time you were at a tavern and met up with a guide.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_14:

Schmidties singing wish, and we talked to Bork, who had a run-in with the mushrooms. Now, is that was that an on the spot name, Ben, or did you use the name generator? Which. I think James came up with Schmidtie's. No, no, no.

SPEAKER_11:

For for Bork.

SPEAKER_14:

That was on the spot.

SPEAKER_11:

Nah.

SPEAKER_14:

Using roll.

SPEAKER_11:

Yeah. Got Bork, Bork, Dork, flat out orc, Mr. Fort. Zork. Zork. The grand inquisitor. Yeah.

SPEAKER_14:

Cork Romano. Wow. It's a great film. The classique mafia film, Cork E.

SPEAKER_13:

Romano. Wow. Really define this genre right up there with Godfather 3. And Mickey Blue Eyes. Mickey. Mickey Blue. Oh god.

SPEAKER_14:

Kids, don't watch those movies, please. They're bad. They're objectively bad. You have better things to do with your time. Go play Roblox.

SPEAKER_04:

All right. Um, you guys are still in the tavern, I guess. Or you know, I'll give you some time to uh supply up if you want. Or maybe you don't have any money. Who knows?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, we don't have any money. James is a good one.

SPEAKER_14:

One who has, yeah, hooch has X1 copper powder.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, I'm happy to uh to buy some supplies.

SPEAKER_14:

I I would I would barter for some supplies too, I guess. We need rations. Yeah, we do.

SPEAKER_16:

Apologies. I I lost my voice for a couple of days, so I might be uh I might sound hoarse.

SPEAKER_04:

Froggy.

SPEAKER_13:

Froggy. You sounded sultry and seductive, dare I say.

SPEAKER_12:

It's uh not how it sounds when it comes out of my own mouth and I hear it. I sound like uh, you know.

SPEAKER_10:

Tom Waits. B. Arthur.

SPEAKER_12:

I want to put a creature in the quagmash, uh, an ogre that has two heads, and one of them is Tom Waits. The other one likes to be Arthur.

SPEAKER_14:

Ma. Uh you mean uh Brad? Oh, Brad. Uh everybody loves Raymond's brother. Raymond. Raymond. Raymond. Let's let's jump into the game here. We're going way off course. That's it's just getting in the boost. We're sitting there for like nine minutes trying to think of Brad. Brad's name. Brad Bradson.

SPEAKER_12:

Brad Branson. Branson, like Branson, Missouri. Yeah. Dolly Parton, uh, yeah, Brad Garrett.

SPEAKER_13:

Okay, it's Brad. Ben knew Ben knew that we could not be wrangled. I think Ben Ben Googled it in order to move us along.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, that's just to destroy us and then move us along.

SPEAKER_14:

Yeah, he knows how to it was also for my own benefit of not having to think about that anymore.

SPEAKER_12:

Yeah, this is gonna get in the way of jamming. It's true. Everybody left.

SPEAKER_14:

Yeah. Uh Ben, who can I can I okay, so James, you want to concert with a bartender and see if you can get some supplies, and then I'm gonna do my own little side deal.

SPEAKER_07:

We need some uh, you know, we need some food, barkeep for the road.

SPEAKER_04:

Uh yeah, I mean, uh, what do you want? Got some quiche.

SPEAKER_14:

No, no, no, no. Definitely want quiche. Don't get quiche. You know what it makes you do. I know the quiche runs right through you, hooch. I'll tell you what. We've done this before.

SPEAKER_07:

Uh uh, give me as much as quiche as I can buy for a one copper pouch.

SPEAKER_14:

Georgia O'quiche.

SPEAKER_07:

I don't spend it.

SPEAKER_14:

Oh, look at this guy.

SPEAKER_10:

You get a little bit more than that.

SPEAKER_12:

Okay. I buy more and I eat one while I'm there.

SPEAKER_14:

I don't spend it. Yeah, who hooch is on a hot streak of not spending money.

SPEAKER_12:

I'll come bumbling over to Brendo, still chewing on a quiche and hand over quiche to the rest of the team.

SPEAKER_14:

Got team quiche. Got two pieces of quiche. Uh two X. Two quiche sees. Quiche sasu sees. These aren't really rations, they're just quiche. These aren't really rations. That's fine. Only it's said in Landavim. It's like you eat the quiche and it's gone. Hooch doesn't know the difference. Yeah. Um, I will actually ask if there's any regular rations he has for sale we can ration.

SPEAKER_04:

Sorry, uh, this isn't uh really uh a depot here, a supply store. This is a bar. You're lucky I got quiche. You know, bar quiche.

SPEAKER_02:

Bar quiche, bar quiche. Little microwaveable steak pies and bar quiche. Yeah. Got any hot pockets?

SPEAKER_14:

You know?

SPEAKER_15:

Yeah, like a toaster strutle, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_14:

Got road apple hot pockets. Perfect. It's a road apple pie to go, mass manufactured for your enjoyment. Yes. Okay. So we've resupplied then. I think it's a good thing. Well, you've got leash.

SPEAKER_13:

Yeah, I wouldn't call that a full-on resupply. Um, Ben, correct me if I'm wrong. Uh what?

SPEAKER_14:

Where was this bar and where was the dark stroom tower? Did we already move to the dark stroom tower?

SPEAKER_12:

I think the dark stroom tower is south south of us. But I was gonna I was gonna ask you, Brendo, if we should go get um Grim Tusk's sword before we go there.

SPEAKER_14:

Yeah, we were kind of discussing that. Um, well, didn't Bello and Cheney have something to say about that? They're just gonna go throw themselves at Darkstroom Tower into the.

SPEAKER_17:

Oh, that's right. You're right. We we gotta stop them from throwing away their lives.

SPEAKER_02:

I mean, yeah, he's the only ones that survive to get to this point, the rest of them are gators, which we miss.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah, I mean, their argument is that could take like days, even weeks.

SPEAKER_14:

Right. And they have people inside that need saving. All right, then we're gonna roll in hot. Yeah, I mean, I gave Seth that wicked flail, so that's that's true. He's armed. Fran lost her blunderbuss and Bellon Chini are useless. Yeah. Um, I'll give my pickaxe to Fran. He twirls it around like an experienced miner, 49er.

SPEAKER_09:

And that's all I have besides the man catcher.

SPEAKER_02:

I have a hard hat. Does that count as armor?

SPEAKER_14:

Again, yeah, it probably helps you against like death jets. That's amazing. You know what? We got this. How hard could it be? I make it. I don't know.

SPEAKER_04:

Uh why don't you uh travel down south? Um kick us off, Georgie.

SPEAKER_14:

Let me let me jump. Or we'll take you there directly. Awesome. So you can find it, but you will need to still uh show what happens. Apologies. I opened the roll 20, but I didn't actually get into the game. EA Sports got in the game. Uh now I will roll.

SPEAKER_11:

That's uh yeah. Yep.

SPEAKER_14:

We should have just had James Row. Three. Um four. Maybe five, four, four.

SPEAKER_04:

All right. Doesn't uh change anything. Roll a D100.

SPEAKER_14:

100.

SPEAKER_11:

Sunday, Sunday. 24. 24, 24, 24.

SPEAKER_14:

24. Oh, this is great. Oh, I I mean like for whom? For who? Uh great for you.

SPEAKER_04:

It's great for extreme. It can't get any better.

SPEAKER_14:

It's a Clunch Dragon is returned. No, no, like ornery mushrooms. Oh, oh come out from the darkness and ornery mind-controlled mushrooms start casting spores and shrieking uh bellow and chini.

SPEAKER_04:

Um duck behind you guys and say, Oh, the words they are saying such profanities.

SPEAKER_14:

It's like holding their ears.

SPEAKER_02:

And I just don't even know what what they're saying because I can't see the mushroom language. Yeah.

SPEAKER_10:

I say we're gonna make a realms check, pooch.

SPEAKER_12:

Yeah, I'm gonna make a realms check to see if yeah, you're like mushroom addictions. If I can like telepathically understand like what they oh, I can't believe I did it.

SPEAKER_14:

I believe it's not butter. They're saying uh basically that you will all drown in lakes of blood.

SPEAKER_15:

And now you will know why you're afraid of the dark. Now you will learn why you fear the night.

SPEAKER_14:

You will become one with the tower, the dark shroom. I'm sitting here I don't think so, chief. Who are you talking to? Shut up. You just yelled, I don't think so, Chief.

SPEAKER_00:

You can't hear him?

SPEAKER_13:

No.

SPEAKER_14:

They're just like moaning at us. It's terrible. I hate it. They're threatening us with horrible things. You say I say uh, you know, they're mindless zombies. Tomato. I say tomato.

SPEAKER_04:

So they are presently coming at you uh with their their eyes are glowing red.

SPEAKER_14:

And um, what are you gonna do? No, absolutely nothing. We just go around because they move so slow. They're not zombies. They're no, they're zombies. They're zombies, then I'm sorry. George's turning himself out of it.

SPEAKER_15:

The zombies are so slow. I I move around them.

SPEAKER_14:

They're not the fast-moving 28 days later zombies. They're they're just I mean, you could run scambling mushrooms, but they are dark. What is what does that actually mean? They're like they are dark shrimp mushrooms. Like well, you're going to their their tower, basically. So they're evil tower. If you run to their tower, I mean they know exactly where you're going. Yeah.

SPEAKER_13:

They'll never figure it out. Um, no. Uh how many of them are there, Ben?

SPEAKER_10:

That's a good question. Uh, let's roll a d6. There are two.

SPEAKER_14:

I go butt to butt with Seth and I say, Y'all ready for this? And I start shredding on the key tower. Actually, sorry. Let me um oh, oh.

SPEAKER_15:

No, big boy rules, big boy rules. Nah, nah, nah.

SPEAKER_06:

Well PC revolt!

SPEAKER_04:

Yep. No, but I actually want to use the rules. So there's that's great.

SPEAKER_14:

This guy and his rules. There are five. Uh okay, that's a lot.

SPEAKER_02:

Can we take five shrooms?

SPEAKER_14:

I mean, this is a good okay. So, this is what's gonna happen. We're gonna get our butts kicked, and we're just gonna retreat to the uh the the bar for a bit, you know.

SPEAKER_12:

So uh the bar will be under siege like uh night of the liquid.

SPEAKER_13:

Oh that would be such a good yeah.

SPEAKER_14:

Uh the Winchester. Um, ah man, that's that sounds like so much fun. All right, let's get this show on the road. Let's see if we can steer it that direction. All right, I'm down. No, no, no, no, no. Well, I don't know. I feel like we have to go at least try to assault the the Quag Shroom Tower. So let's start fighting these guys.

SPEAKER_04:

Okay, uh what do you want to do?

SPEAKER_14:

Um, I fly behind them to flank them. Does that confer any bonuses, Ben? No, I feel like you've asked this every time. Really?

SPEAKER_16:

Yeah, because there's a part of you that wants to play Land Beam like it's a skirmish battle game. Yeah, I do.

SPEAKER_14:

I think it's just your like 3.5 roots. That is 100% true. Do I get an attack of opportunity when they move past me? That's all my only question. No, they get an attack of opportunity when you fly over them. So you're shot down.

SPEAKER_13:

Yeah, it's it's like the entire movie behind enemy lines. Um six feet away, but yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

I guess my ultimate question is do you want to somehow parlay or do a non-combat action before?

SPEAKER_14:

I turn, I turn well. This is how about this? I turn to Bell and China, say, is there is there any hope for these guys? Or do they need to become a risotto? So I had an idea for parlaying, actually, that I want to destroy.

SPEAKER_17:

Um go for it. Um, I was gonna hold up the dark shroom that we found and like pretend to be controlled by it and be like, brothers, we we will not drown lakes of blood, but our enemies will to the dark shroom tower. Okay, like try to rally them and inspire them because their minds are weak, and then like wink at the other mushrooms that are with us in front of. And I'm gonna pretend to be Bellow and Cheney don't pick up on social cues.

SPEAKER_01:

Thank you.

SPEAKER_04:

Make a trickery check.

SPEAKER_14:

Uh I could get you to re-roll it, but is that the best use right now? I think. Yeah, let's do it. I think maybe it is. Yeah, let's do it. Let's do it. All right, I use Ode. And I um I'm gonna choose one of the following re-roll a roll for my ally. Oh. And I add plus one, it gives us a six plus. I quest point it up. All right, it's success of sus. Don't let me down, Hooch. Rolls are one. Let's see, Hooch. What you got? I roll again. He rolls again. Brandon 10. There you go. There you go.

SPEAKER_15:

The power of the dark room courses through my veins. We are one.

SPEAKER_04:

Yes, yes. Um, you you start picking up their language, hooch.

SPEAKER_14:

Nice. You can uh pick up pieces and uh they say grab the prisoners, um and they all like swarm to the non-mushrooms. Uh Bellow and Chenie are uh a little uh spooked.

SPEAKER_04:

Let's see if they can uh fall in line.

SPEAKER_14:

Come on, Bellow and Chenie. No, they're like scared and uh I'll just keep looking at winking at everybody as I like get behind the beginning picture.

SPEAKER_17:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_15:

Soon you will understand your treachery when you contemplate this on the tree of woe. Wow, the tree of woe is now canon.

SPEAKER_04:

The dark shrooms take Bellu and Cheney and uh push them forward. They say, You will become one of us soon enough.

SPEAKER_02:

All right, now let's do your left out because I'm not gonna become one of them tower.

SPEAKER_04:

All right.

SPEAKER_14:

Um, eventually you come and see the the horrible sight of Dark Shroom Tower, the huge mushroom in the distance, and then uh there's like a there's just a field, it's like a giant moat basically of fungals around it, like rolling hills of fungals.

SPEAKER_16:

Jeez, hills of fungals, um every bird that lands on them. Wow, ow, no.

SPEAKER_14:

You watch as the the mushrooms, the dark shrooms walk up to the fungals and like whisper the horrible and it kind of carves a path. And the fungals don't attack as you walk through them. Ben, can I uh using my keenly tuned ear for music, pick up on those words and like maybe pocket the words for use in the future? Or is it not gonna work that way because I'm not a mushroom? Um really asking you to get in the nitty-gritty of how this mind control thing works.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah, uh you could try with disadvantage.

SPEAKER_11:

Okay.

SPEAKER_14:

Um should I make like a uh let's make a just a roll d12 and see and apply whatever bonuses if I get close. Wow. So that eight plus I don't know, maybe like a scrutiny, scrolly, scrolly, scrolly. What? Maybe we say lore perception? Lore. Okay, lore would be plus two. It's a 10. Realms is plus one. Yeah.

SPEAKER_12:

Pretty classic, pretty classic. I dig.

SPEAKER_14:

I dig.

SPEAKER_04:

Uh okay, so with lore, like you can realize that this is not normal.

SPEAKER_14:

This is not something you could just say to any fungal in the world. This is like some dark thing they have over these fungals.

SPEAKER_07:

Really specific to their evil cult.

SPEAKER_14:

So you're saying I learned dark fungal mind control words. You've learned like the dark words of dark shroom tower that affect the fungals here. That's awesome. That'll be helpful for our escape. Yeah, like it'd be like it'll be good to have it in run into a sea of fungals and be eaten alive. Yeah. That's hilarious. Um, so we ran into mushrooms here mind controlled. Uh, we surrender to them. Okay, cool. Sorry, I was just making notes. This is quest 10, you know. Somebody's gonna die. Someone's gotta die, you know. Yeah, that's how it works. Doesn't it captors? I mean, it might be Fran. Who knows? It's definitely gonna be fork guys. Bork really did not um expect to go this far. He was gonna leave. So you guys are escorted through the fungals, um, and these things aren't licking their chops, but they're not acting on it. I like that they have chops. They're like yeah, they have frothing, gross mouths. Ew. And uh you're brought to the entrance of the tower. Uh as you say the word tower, lightning strikes. It's true. Krakoon.

SPEAKER_17:

It's like favorite lightning strike, the shutter effect behind us, and the whole thing is terrifying.

SPEAKER_02:

It's like we're going in a dragon's castle.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah. You walk in, there are no guards or anyone uh at the door.

SPEAKER_14:

It's just uh you walk inside, and the outside is black, but when you walk inside, the walls are like this gross fleshy red and uh oozing with a goop.

SPEAKER_13:

Okay, delightful.

SPEAKER_14:

Um, up ahead of you there a chamber opens up inside, it's like the mushroom is hollowed out, and um there are 12 mushrooms like engaged in some sort of ritual.

SPEAKER_11:

Oh is it like a um kumite?

SPEAKER_14:

It looks like a uh sacrifice um to slain mushrooms like already like they who look unlike these uh mushrooms here. They're on the ground. Um there's a dais, and uh it looks it looks very culty.

SPEAKER_13:

Okay.

SPEAKER_14:

Um you see like the blood of a mushroom like pouring down a rivulet. Oh my ribulettes, Romeo and rivulet. Uh you hear a bellow and chini squeal, and then they say wheel sola, they kind of whisper to themselves.

SPEAKER_11:

Hmm.

SPEAKER_14:

They say what's it? Wheel solar. I imagine it's mushroom names.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Um, I'm gonna try something bold to see if I we can find like the master of this place, George.

SPEAKER_17:

Okay, you're just gonna call out. Face me.

SPEAKER_16:

I'm gonna use fibbing right roll advantage on trickery once per session. And um, I'm gonna fall to my knees, like holding the dark shroom, and uh like cry out like silence!

SPEAKER_05:

I'm touched by the master. The master speaks to me. The master demands that we take the prisoners to him directly.

SPEAKER_12:

Please, and like act like it's like making my mind explode.

SPEAKER_14:

Yeah, suddenly Brendo's not on board with his plan, but I figured you know, head of the snake, you know? Uh head of the shroom, you know. I'm gonna give you disadvantage on that. Okay, just because no one's ever seen you.

SPEAKER_08:

And does the does my does the fibbing cancel out the disadvantage and just make it regular? Or does it have no fibbing okay?

SPEAKER_02:

All right, oh boy. Come on.

SPEAKER_06:

No, trickery is my thing!

SPEAKER_13:

Let's do it again. Let's see if we can do it again. We're gonna burn all my own abilities, right? No, yes, like they didn't buy it quite into the first time. You gotta really double down and my mushroom cap!

SPEAKER_05:

His words are crazy. Look, look, it's mushroom cap.

SPEAKER_07:

That's a crit.

SPEAKER_11:

Critical success is ease.

SPEAKER_07:

We're blown through power, so this is freaking me out.

SPEAKER_03:

It's okay, it's okay. That's what quest points are for.

SPEAKER_14:

Uh, everyone sort of stops the ritual and the the gasp. The ones you came in with are just kind of silent. Everyone like turns around slowly towards you. And then one particularly uh intimidating looking mushroom who's like wearing this bark armor. Oh no, uh, walks towards you and he says, uh, you are chosen.

SPEAKER_00:

You would say he was touched by a shroom angel. I say that.

SPEAKER_05:

No, it's like, yes, uh, I'm so weak, I can't get to the master on my own.

SPEAKER_12:

Pretend like I can't like stand up like and put my hand up for him to help me.

SPEAKER_14:

He grabbed you by the face. Oh no. He's Thanos. He grabs me by the head.

SPEAKER_17:

It's like looking at you like a I don't I can't help but my eyes like shift back and forth, like uh oh.

SPEAKER_04:

Uh you you get the sense that he's like probing your mind with this very starship troopers um telepathy that mushrooms have.

SPEAKER_14:

And he's kind of looking at you like you know, Larry David.

SPEAKER_04:

Like a like really skeptical, looking up and down. Um then he asks you.

SPEAKER_02:

What does the dark room tell you the dark room tells me that there is a betrayer amongst you.

SPEAKER_15:

And that these prisoners may know who it is.

SPEAKER_06:

I'm trying to tell the truth without like you're saying my mind it'll be right.

SPEAKER_14:

Yeah. He motions for uh some of the escorts to follow and push you guys in. Okay. What kind of establishment is this? They have escorts walking around. Um Bello and Cheney tug you on the arm, Brendo.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, what's up, buddy? Buddies? Get off my hand. Wheel, wheel and zola. They're part of the cult. I mean, yeah. For now, maybe we can get to the head and whoever's mind controlling them and just you know. Be strong, Ello. Have faith in me.

SPEAKER_04:

Uh you're pushed forward. Um, hooch, you're walking side by side with this uh mushroom and armor.

SPEAKER_02:

Um is he trying to probe my mind at all anymore?

SPEAKER_14:

No. He takes you guys up uh through a long winding staircase. Uh you're obviously going up higher than the stipe with mushroom. The walls are um still gooey and red. Um everyone who's not a mushroom rule vitality.

SPEAKER_11:

Okay.

SPEAKER_14:

Oh, I stand strong in the face of intimidation.

SPEAKER_11:

Wow. Whoa. Wow. We're we're all unaffected.

SPEAKER_16:

It's like uh Boromir and Aragorn are hanging out with you guys.

SPEAKER_14:

Yeah, it was my word of encouragement as given everyone strength.

SPEAKER_08:

I feel a slight itch.

SPEAKER_14:

Uh at the top of the stairs, it's like a long, long walk. Um the top of the stairs, there are two stout-looking mushrooms uh wearing black bark armor and they're carrying crystal swords.

unknown:

Oh no.

SPEAKER_14:

Just some sweet loot if we get our hands on it. No kidding. But these are like warriors on stuff. Like we can't handle it. You know. Um, and then you're brought into the highest chamber of the tower. You see that there is another mushroom. Sort of he looks like an elder. He's all wrinkled and he's dehydrated. Yeah, he's like palpatine. He's uh you will die, and so are the old friends. Oh god. Full name is Sheevan.

SPEAKER_04:

Um, you're brought in, and uh the guy you're the one you're with pushes you forward, Hooch. It is time to commune.

SPEAKER_11:

Oh hooch. Uh uh.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay.

SPEAKER_02:

I'm gonna I'm gonna pretend like I'm communing. Chief Portability. I'm gonna pretend like I'm communing by like rubbing my brain. I assume the older guy is like the guy in charge. This is the one. Yes, the one.

SPEAKER_14:

Um let me describe what the room looks like. Uh it's very dark, but um, you can see that the ceiling is like pulsing like a heartbeat, and there's like you know, mycelium like all up in the roof.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_14:

And um the uh the elder turns to regard you and he seems to like immediately understand what's happening. Oh, like he sees through.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh no.

SPEAKER_04:

No, he he just he knows he knows what they're not seeing through you, but uh no words need to be spoken between him and the others.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh, because they think that I'm touched or something, the chosen one.

SPEAKER_04:

I mean, you've claimed that you are, and they want to see it. They want to see the truth. Prove it. Uh so you're gonna have to make a metal check.

SPEAKER_03:

Should have saved my odes. It's okay. I'm super meddly. I'm plus two metallic. Um god, please.

SPEAKER_07:

Oh no. No!

SPEAKER_05:

Every critical roll that so it's a three.

SPEAKER_12:

It's a I'm gonna uh it's a three. I uh uh making it a four is useless.

SPEAKER_14:

I don't know. I I I feel gross that if I keep using Ode to re-roll your stuff.

SPEAKER_04:

It's fine. I mean you'll you're running out of quest points.

SPEAKER_12:

So I could do something else.

SPEAKER_02:

I could do oh when I can't make a metal. I'm not gonna make a small check no matter what I do. Best I can make it as a four.

SPEAKER_13:

Um can I make an acting check and suddenly scream out as if I have been touched now?

SPEAKER_01:

Do it, do it, do it.

SPEAKER_04:

Um well, here's the problem with hooch. Uh huh.

SPEAKER_14:

You feel this overwhelming presence in your brain. Oh shoot, you are being touched.

SPEAKER_15:

My my mushroom cap starts pulsing.

SPEAKER_14:

Yeah. You feel like you're on the edge of succumbing to its words. Uh and it's kind of muttering to you in a hellish voice. Oh no. Um, if there's one thing I know about hooch in my relationship, is that uh I can strengthen hooch through laughter.

SPEAKER_04:

It says to you, hooch. It doesn't even sound like anything I can uh replicate, but it says to you uh you are the betrayer. Give in.

SPEAKER_16:

I will agree that I am the betrayer, I'll say like back to it. But I will never give in. Nice.

SPEAKER_04:

And and the others around you seem confused.

SPEAKER_14:

Like they they because they believed hooch, and now are they getting this broadcast too or something? Through mushroom to telepathy?

SPEAKER_04:

You're not sure, you're not a mushroom hoop uh Brandon.

SPEAKER_07:

So I'm not really like the play by play from Porto and G.

SPEAKER_14:

No, they're they're that I don't even think they're speaking. Brendo, what you do notice is that the door shuts behind you.

unknown:

Oh no.

SPEAKER_11:

I say uh I uh I turn to Seth and I say, Seth, you think you can one-shot this guy?

SPEAKER_10:

Uh he looks around and he says, Looks like we got no choice.

SPEAKER_07:

Um am I controlled at all by these guys yet?

SPEAKER_14:

Controlled?

SPEAKER_02:

Like is the is the is the dark shroom controlling my mind?

SPEAKER_14:

No. Uh failed to convince it, but. It does not have uh control of you, but you're like kinda at its mercy. Like you're liable to uh fall fall under its control.

SPEAKER_04:

All right.

SPEAKER_02:

I'm going to I guess like like I wanted to use disappearing act and like suddenly like vanish like from the from the fray.

SPEAKER_04:

You know, it only makes sense that the mushrooms would have taken um the weapon away from Seth Grimtusk.

SPEAKER_14:

Yeah, I'm fine with it. I mean that makes sense to me too. We use a living weapon, it's fine.

SPEAKER_16:

We disarm the their crystal swords.

SPEAKER_14:

Yeah. Uh so yeah, here's the situation. Oh, I have a such a good idea. Okay, carry on. Hooch, you're being probed still.

SPEAKER_04:

Everyone's kind of figuring out that you are a fraud, the door's closed. Um what are you gonna do?

SPEAKER_02:

Can I attempt to use beg against the darkroom tower? The pulsing. Yeah, because like I the the ceiling is pulsing, like they're that's the that's the thing. That's that's the monster. Right?

SPEAKER_04:

It yeah, it seems that way to you, Hooch.

SPEAKER_17:

Um, so I'm gonna use beg on the thing to beg for something to get to get something.

SPEAKER_12:

Specifically, like I want to be like, don't like don't probe my mind, and I'll give you I'll give you the the nectar of the gods. I'll give you the greatest thing that has ever been that I'll my most valuable object consuming it will fill you with power and glory.

SPEAKER_04:

Um what does beg say?

SPEAKER_02:

Beg says once per session, shamelessly beg to get something, or once per session make a last-stitch effort to avoid combat before it begins, but at a great cost.

SPEAKER_04:

Great cost indeed. So this cost has to be real, it can't be like uh a lie that you're saying.

SPEAKER_14:

It's a lie for sure. He knows this too well.

SPEAKER_17:

Um I'm gonna beg for my f for my freedom from its mind control.

SPEAKER_01:

But not to stop not stop to beg to for combat to stop.

SPEAKER_14:

Do it.

SPEAKER_04:

Sorry, I'm just looking it up.

SPEAKER_02:

Once for session, shamefully beg to get something. Or once per session, make a last-itch effort to avoid combat before it begins, but at a great cost. So I don't want to do that. I want to use the first part of it. Beg for something, and then something is from my mental freedom.

SPEAKER_04:

I'm gonna interpret this as the fact that you're doing this like makes this thing ill and would rather sacrifice you than like make you perfect.

SPEAKER_12:

That's that's no, that's exactly what I was trying to get at. Mike, I'm not like I'd like just give me my you can kill me all you want, but give me my freedom.

SPEAKER_14:

Kill me all you want. Okay, uh, yeah, roll that. All right, please, nooch. Mom, baby.

SPEAKER_13:

Oh my god, I will have my cake and eat you too. My mind explodes. Yeah. Well, all right, you can play Seth for the rest of the campaign.

SPEAKER_14:

Oh, shucks. That is unfortunate. This is rough, man. Pitiful.

SPEAKER_10:

I will make you mine.

SPEAKER_16:

My eyes like go down to pinhole size, and like I just look at Brando. Come, brother, join us.

SPEAKER_15:

Join us, but for real this time. For real this time.

SPEAKER_01:

I really, really mean it.

SPEAKER_04:

You guys are in a conflict. Um, the doors.

SPEAKER_14:

How many of them are there, Ben? There's like Palpatine, there's guards, and now there's Hooch. Yeah. And it's basically me, Fran, and Seth. Because Bello and Chini are useless. And mind control, probably. We should roll to see if they're mind controlled too. I mean, like what like like just to really no chance that they can both be mind controlled.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_14:

Uh success with a twist. Um maybe he's like uh powered into inaction. Oh. Uh, sure. But the inaction is like one of them seems to be more uh at the mercy of the voice, and the other one's trying to get him out of it. I I like the idea that they're just tied up slapping each other. Like one is aggressive slapping, like I'm trying to kill you, the other is aggressive slapping like snap out of it. I'm terrified beyond the capacity for rational thought. Econ's gone. Bye bye. Save it for the Halloween special boys. You know? Wow. All right, so Brenda, what are you doing? Um, they're all armed with crystal weapons.

SPEAKER_04:

Two of them are the guards.

SPEAKER_14:

Are they are the other ones armed with anything else?

SPEAKER_04:

Uh, you don't know. All right, so weapons.

SPEAKER_14:

This is what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna make up an um advantageous feature about this room. Uh say that it it's an audience chamber, so it's built for really good acoustics, so it boosts all my musical abilities.

SPEAKER_02:

It's got great acoustics. This is funny.

SPEAKER_14:

It's got really good acoustics. Uh the the mushroom that you came in with uh does have a dagger from the roll, but the the the elder has nothing. He needs nothing. Maybe he's just super weak and just you know, like this shriveled mushroom sitting there. Um, but Ben, can I can I make that thing happen with the swashbuckler about the room? Yeah. Okay, I'm gonna roll it up. It's very true. Nice. Um, and the reason I wanted to do that is I wanted to play like a specific tone that will shatter the crystal swords.

SPEAKER_02:

I like it.

SPEAKER_14:

That's cool, you know. Um, do you want me to make another role for that, or do you want me to that's gonna combat action?

SPEAKER_04:

Um just gonna play that.

SPEAKER_14:

Or because it was such a good role, you know.

SPEAKER_04:

You know what I mean? Reward I mean, hint hint. You know, uh make it a combat because you know, you have combat music, so you can make an attack with advantage.

SPEAKER_17:

Okay. To shatter people's swords and stuff.

SPEAKER_05:

Just playing the chords from close encounter of the third kind, like that's good.

SPEAKER_14:

Um soul roll initiative. You guys can roll uh hooch, what are you doing?

SPEAKER_17:

You're not like fully at the mercy of this thing, but I'm I'm like making ewok sounds like pacing back and forth, my mind completely zapped.

SPEAKER_14:

Yeah, you're not completely zapped yet. Like you're you're at the precipice of that, so you can try to do something.

SPEAKER_02:

Um if that's the case, then I'm going to try to slingshot my lantern oil into the ceiling. And if I'm on this this motherfucker.

SPEAKER_17:

Um, I just want to slingshot the lantern oil. Okay. Uh I'm good at this, but also cursed.

unknown:

Eight.

SPEAKER_17:

I'll use a quest point to make that a nine.

SPEAKER_14:

Yeah, baby. Yeah, you will. All right, you uh splash the oil into the ceiling.

SPEAKER_11:

We're gonna burn this mushroom down.

SPEAKER_16:

We're gonna burn this mushroom down.

SPEAKER_14:

Brendo, did you roll uh I did not? Um I lost my tab with my roll 20. There it is. Found it. I'm gonna roll we're rolling initiative, correct? Yeah. Oh man, I wish that was my attack roll. I'm just saying. Well, you go first. Okay. I'm gonna play to shred crystal swords, and I'm gonna do that with advantage.

SPEAKER_06:

Well, yes.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh jeez.

SPEAKER_16:

I'm sorry, man.

SPEAKER_14:

It's it was such a good plan. It was well, uh no, I've been using up all my 12s. Look at those. Look at those. I mean, it's something that you can keep trying. Yeah, I'm gonna keep trying it for sure. Um, what is your total? My total Magodal is is gonna be two plus probably one. No, no, my attack is minus one. Two minus one equals one. All right, you will not have advantage anymore. You're you kind of screwed up your instrument. Oh man.

SPEAKER_00:

No, like one of the batteries.

SPEAKER_03:

So such so good, so like well planned and failed with dice. All right, we got this though.

SPEAKER_14:

That was advantageous and you rolled one.

SPEAKER_11:

I know.

SPEAKER_14:

I rolled I rolled, I rolled like a one and then a zero. So zero, I would have just exploded. At least it wasn't that, I guess. Okay, the mushrooms uh burst into action. Oh dear, they boist. They're boisterous mushrooms, you know. All right. Uh the two with the swords the S words attack Seth. Typical. One critically fails. The other head. Can't can okay, can Seth disarm the guy who critically fails and just take his sword?

SPEAKER_04:

Um sure.

SPEAKER_14:

I mean, or maybe he'll like have the opportunity to. I don't know if that's just too good for him to be armed. Yeah, let's say his sword kind of you know gets twisted and flies out of his hands.

SPEAKER_11:

Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.

SPEAKER_14:

And then uh the other one hits him. Six dread.

SPEAKER_04:

Oh, that's a meaty, meaty hit. It's not good. What was I feel like I wrote this down? He's only at three now.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay.

SPEAKER_04:

All right, and the one with the dagger attacks you, Brendo.

SPEAKER_07:

All right.

SPEAKER_14:

And the elder elder rings should have done this before.

SPEAKER_02:

The elder is going to shoot lightning bolts out of his eyes at Hoosh.

SPEAKER_14:

As is tradition.

SPEAKER_02:

The elder has spells.

SPEAKER_16:

He's a spelder. He's a speldor. Speldarian. Speldor, the speldarian.

SPEAKER_04:

Do it. Interesting.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay.

SPEAKER_04:

Uh, okay. He uh he targets um me.

SPEAKER_14:

No, I'm just gonna make it random. How many are there? There's there's three threats really. Four. Where's Fran in all this? She's there.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay.

SPEAKER_14:

Counting her as a threat. Fran gets lightning bolted. That's Brendo.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh dear.

SPEAKER_04:

Brendo, you you feel uh uh this uh like a wave of exha exhaustion come over you.

SPEAKER_14:

I disagree.

SPEAKER_01:

I disagree.

SPEAKER_02:

I refute. I don't allow it.

SPEAKER_14:

Um you are tired now.

SPEAKER_05:

I'm just gonna think I'm gonna see your minus one to stuff.

SPEAKER_04:

Until you rest.

SPEAKER_02:

Tuck tuck equals. Minus one.

SPEAKER_07:

Oh, he's tucked out, little guy.

SPEAKER_04:

Um all right, hooch, make another uh metal check. This time minus one.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh boy. That's uh ten.

SPEAKER_14:

All right, you feel yourself break free from the the hold of this thing.

SPEAKER_05:

I want to break free, and it feels frustrated.

SPEAKER_14:

Alright. That's good news. We like frustration. We aspire to frustrate everything around us. Uh all right, next round. Actually, no. You guys can attack with Seth and Fran. Okay. Um, you want to do Seth and LD Fran? Sure.

SPEAKER_09:

Dang it.

SPEAKER_14:

Um, hooch, he don't uh he don't roll well. That's a three. Can I have Fran? Yeah, that's tough. Uh Ben, remember me what class Fran is? She's a dungeoneer. Mm-hmm. Shoot, I need to look up her abilities. I guess this round she can try to retrieve the crystal sword. So the other guy can't get it back. I mean, she doesn't really have abilities that you can use. Oh, yeah. Yeah, so then she'll she'll retrieve the crystal sword to take it off the playing field and or give it to Seth next round. Okay. Um, do you want to make a roll for it? A nimbleness? I don't know. Uh she could just do it. Thank you. Thank you for your kind and benevolent GMing. So are you attacking with someone? Did you uh James already tried to attack with Seth?

SPEAKER_17:

Yeah, I was gonna try to punch the the elder, but um and say welcome to Earth. Yes, because you didn't say that, it failed. That's exactly why it failed. Yeah, it's a shame.

SPEAKER_12:

It could be nothing else, honestly. Welcome to the mucklins.

SPEAKER_15:

Welcome to Quang Rish.

SPEAKER_10:

Okay, wow. Okay, the next round. What do you what are y'all doing?

SPEAKER_17:

Um, what are y'all doing? I know what I'm gonna do. I want to hurl my lantern into the lantern oil on the ceiling.

SPEAKER_03:

Okay. Um, and then what do I want to do?

SPEAKER_14:

Maybe I'll just uh I couldn't use good news to make this place extremely flammable, could I? Because that's a positive fact only to me or us about a place. Yeah, it's not like a positive. I think it's positive, Ben.

SPEAKER_11:

That'd be like a weakness.

SPEAKER_14:

Yeah, no, I should have kept the other one. Could you make a positive fact that I've got an arm like a cannon from all those softball tournaments? It says NPC place your thing. I think I can't just uh I can't do that for you. I could narrate it. We could do like a combo move.

SPEAKER_11:

That would be sweet. Uh is that cool with you, Ben?

SPEAKER_14:

Um sure. I'll say uh and Hooch reared back his searing flames and threw it into the ceiling. I like it. Everything went down the drain. It was was was I like I think it was again everything went down the drain, but that's like just not contributing to it's a half rhyme. It's a half rhyme, it's a slant rhyme. I award you no rhyme. Yeah, and my do not collect too much.

SPEAKER_11:

All right, let's see if let's see if this works.

SPEAKER_06:

I award you no rhyme. Yeah it's a six.

SPEAKER_13:

Six plus six plus two plus one quest point. Now I have two out of four.

SPEAKER_14:

No, I used owed. You used I have so one out of four. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, that's a nine.

SPEAKER_03:

Okay.

SPEAKER_04:

All right. Um, your aim is true, hooch. You throw it into the ceiling right where you splashed the oil, and the whole place starts rumbling.

SPEAKER_14:

Pulsating and like Yeah. It's like uh you hear squeals and pops and hisses. Uh everyone looks panicked. You guys have used your actions.

SPEAKER_01:

Um you are attacked.

SPEAKER_00:

Cry out crumb.

SPEAKER_09:

I've never prayed you before.

SPEAKER_04:

That sounded pretty good. Yeah. Uh what's your defense, Hooch?

SPEAKER_17:

Uh minus two.

SPEAKER_04:

Uh one of the crystal sword guys swipes at you, kind of backing you up. The next one will have a plus two against uh plus one against you.

SPEAKER_14:

Um the one with the dagger. He also misses and then um the elder focuses his attention on uh the ceiling, and you see him use some sort of magic. Oh no, he's got like a sort of thing start mending it. Yeah, maybe we can interrupt him.

SPEAKER_12:

We gotta take him down. Yeah, I'll I'll try to take him down.

SPEAKER_14:

I have an idea. Maybe Fran will go tackle, or Seth or Fran will go tackle him as as their turn.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah, he's using uh you you see like the fire is blazing, but then you see uh this the elder's magic sort of like regenerating the mycelium that's been burnt.

SPEAKER_14:

Shoot.

SPEAKER_12:

Sorry. Um I want I want to use slippery right now. Oh, so slippery. No, it's like once per combat, redirect all adversary attacks against the rascal to another random nearby adversary. Okay. I know I'm backtracking, but I just realized that it's all attacks.

SPEAKER_10:

Big boy rules.

SPEAKER_12:

Yeah. Sorry. I thought I had to use it uh before, but it's a reactionary power. Yeah.

SPEAKER_08:

Um if we get lucky, maybe it'll be against the there's like a 50-50 chance, it'll either be against dagger guy or the wizard. Right.

SPEAKER_17:

Um, all right, I gotta roll nimbleness. That's a 10. Okay, I do it. Plus nine plus. So those those attacks are redirected to either the wizard or the other guy.

SPEAKER_14:

It's a random it's random.

SPEAKER_17:

So I'm it's 50-50, and I'm hoping the wizard just gets pummeled by two of his guards.

SPEAKER_14:

Okay, so the first attack will be redirected towards either the dagger guy, number one and two, or the elder three and four. So the dagger guy. No.

SPEAKER_00:

Come on, come on, please.

SPEAKER_14:

Does one dread. He like he checks wings when he's uh trying to dagger him. And the second one. Um kills the other guy. Okay. That was glorious. That is glorious. And he develops a taste for mushroom murder. He goes in a killing spree.

SPEAKER_04:

I have to do this again. Um yes, so now you've got uh the elder, the uh dagger, and uh unarmed fellow.

SPEAKER_14:

Uh Fran has the sword. Sward. Can she toss it to Seth and then James? You can have Seth attack after these guys are done. Or these guys are done, right? These guys are done. Okay. Yeah, James wanna attack with Seth. Yeah, like have him charge the elder, maybe?

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, the wizard. Mm-hmm. 10.

SPEAKER_11:

Nice. Not bad.

SPEAKER_14:

Seth is a good one. Seth has a plus four. Oh. Which is a crit. Yeah, it's a crit. Roll a d10.

SPEAKER_02:

D10 with disadvantage, though, right? Because he's unarmed.

SPEAKER_00:

No, no, he has a crystal sword. Oh, oh.

SPEAKER_17:

Tendred.

SPEAKER_13:

Um guys all over the mycelium. Wow. He turns into a pink mist.

SPEAKER_14:

Yeah. But the spores go into us, and then we're all like he's a part of all of us now. It's terrible. He uh he is stabbed.

SPEAKER_04:

He's not completely dead, but he falls over and it's like and um The king is ambush!

SPEAKER_14:

You hear guards from the other room yelling. He starts multiplying into two. Is that something that's gonna take him around to do? Uh no, it's happening. Oh it's happening right now.

SPEAKER_01:

They're both shooting lightning bolts.

SPEAKER_11:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_14:

Um, the only way to kill him is to eat him. I eat him.

SPEAKER_04:

Okay, so the next mushroom elder mukman.

SPEAKER_14:

God muckbong. Muckland's messy boy at your service. Oh god. That's a random encounter, guys. You gotta make it now. The muckland's messy boy eats food in front of you, demands you sit in his audience. Yeah, I mean it fits right in. Um, yes.

SPEAKER_04:

So there's this thing happening where the ceiling is on fire, but also regenerating, and it's kind of like closing in on the fire.

SPEAKER_14:

Um we boost the fire somehow.

SPEAKER_04:

The I rolled Thelonius's amazing regeneration spell as well as that's amazing.

SPEAKER_14:

You need it, it is, but not for us.

SPEAKER_08:

Works on everything but the brain.

SPEAKER_14:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

So you guys are up. What do you want to do?

SPEAKER_17:

Uh well, we gotta stop that spell somehow. Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_14:

Can I think I can remake up a positive fact about this placer thing?

SPEAKER_04:

Positive fact. Let's see what it means. See how we interpret that.

SPEAKER_13:

Yeah, no, no, no. So the placer thing is. Uh he he just goes I'm always trying to break the rules. That's the problem. No, I know. Um, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_14:

So so the tower itself, uh, the positive fact is that it was essentially a good thing before it was corrupted. And the amazing regeneration spell, if let go long enough, will actually regenerate it to the point of goodness. Okay. Interesting. You know, because he randomly rolled that spell. I'm like, let's uh let's roll with it. Uh roll plus rounds.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh, it's a six plus. Uh uh, only one.

SPEAKER_14:

It's a seven, it's partially true. Yeah. Um, I think that could be true. And maybe you have to do something else to like push it along. Yeah. Um I don't know if we want to define that now, or you guys have ideas.

SPEAKER_11:

Don't the the blood sacrifice of Bello and Chini will push it over the edge.

SPEAKER_14:

I have an idea. Yeah, some sort of heroic act.

SPEAKER_17:

I have an idea. I'm gonna see if I can't like scale scale it and like plunge laxatives into it so that it like into the tower poops out all the evil.

SPEAKER_14:

Gotta find the mushroom's beehole.

SPEAKER_12:

And just I just gotta get the if I can get the tower to ingest the laxatives, maybe it will push the spell and like you know, it'll poop out the rest of the evil.

SPEAKER_17:

Wind out, poop it out. Flooding the field of fungal with uh evil spores that uh turn them into kaiju.

SPEAKER_14:

Kaiju. They all just like liquefy and then they re-amalgamate into a giant mushroom man. I'll state puffed mushroom man. Alright, so how are you gonna make that happen? The lax is I leave that to Hooch.

SPEAKER_12:

So like so all the walls are like pulsing, right? They're like all like alive around me.

SPEAKER_17:

Um is there any like if I if I used ruffian and like all my might to like punch the walls with the with the laxatives in my fist, could I like penetrate it? Like I was knocking out a bruiser or a goon?

unknown:

No.

SPEAKER_14:

And like release the laxatives into its into its body. Release the laxatives. Uh let's say you have to do it where where the regeneration spell is happening.

unknown:

Okay.

SPEAKER_14:

That's that's fine. All right. Um Seth, toss me. Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_17:

You know? I gotta get up there, Chief! And like it's like Superman pose with the laxas and like this.

SPEAKER_04:

That'll be uh Seth's action, dude. Toss you.

SPEAKER_14:

Yeah, he gives the the sword to uh the crystal sword back to Fran and says, hold them up. I love you. She says, I know.

SPEAKER_13:

I gotta, I'm telling you, there should be like a George DMs himself. I did the whole thing, just like little bits and pieces here and there, you know.

SPEAKER_05:

Pulling pulling from Star Wars or Ghostbusters or smash. I love you. I know.

SPEAKER_14:

Yeah. All right, someone roll for Seth. He has plus two might. Do it. Do it. I should no no no. I'll roll for Fran. You roll for you've been rolling well for Seth. I believe in you. I don't believe in that. I believe in you. You gotta believe in plus two. Yeah. Nine.

SPEAKER_04:

Nine. There you go. He tosses you and you go flying in your superman pose. You got a fistful laxatives, baby.

SPEAKER_12:

All right. I have to roll might for a ruffian.

SPEAKER_14:

Oh no. Seven. All right. Um I could make it an eight. Could he get hurt in the process, perhaps? Six sense with a twist. I can't get my fist out.

SPEAKER_17:

I'm hanging from this.

SPEAKER_07:

Oh I can't get out the fires.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah. Yeah. Um something ain't right here. I feel like we should do something with uh the dark shroom and your connection to it.

SPEAKER_06:

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. If it it all works, but it gets transferred to me. Like, I Ray, I'm Vegle. Fall back down. The the last remnants of the dark shroom are in me, and I'm like, Oh my god.

SPEAKER_14:

Just give me a quest to purge him.

SPEAKER_06:

Like skittering back and forth across hammering the door, trying to escape so that I can continue, so I can persist.

SPEAKER_14:

Oh my gosh. That is funny, but where do we go from there? Why are you asking so many questions, Ben? It's fine. Don't worry about it.

SPEAKER_12:

Um, it has to be expunged from me. All right. Only had two Lexus.

SPEAKER_04:

All right, Hooch. You feel a wave of evil energy.

SPEAKER_14:

Just uh I already know how to do that, it's a better way to say it, but it like poops into you, just um excretes into your soul.

SPEAKER_12:

I do scream at the top of my lungs.

SPEAKER_15:

Now I hear the dogs room tower.

SPEAKER_14:

Brendo like audibly rolls his eyes, like you can hear it.

SPEAKER_16:

It's like a it's like a like a door in a haunted house.

SPEAKER_14:

Yeah, I love it. The elder is uh aghast at such a turn of events, and um but then the guy with the dagger is uh bows before you, Hooch. So can Hooch maintain control?

SPEAKER_15:

Um Master, I must escape this tower and plant myself anew. Open the doors.

SPEAKER_17:

I'm gonna try to scamper out of there. Let's slip the hogs of war. The hogs of war.

SPEAKER_03:

Squee.

SPEAKER_04:

Alright. Um you don't have full control of yourself. What is what is happening here?

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, but you are the dark lord. I uh I'm concerned that my evil power will be snuffed out forever, and if I don't get out of the tower, it'll be the end of my thousand-year reign of terror. I'm like Sauron's spirit trying to escape.

SPEAKER_14:

I'll come back when I get the ring, you know what I mean? Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

So uh why not stay in this body?

SPEAKER_12:

I am gonna stay in the body. I mean, like Hooch is gonna try to escape this area away from the heroes that have destroyed the Dark True Tower.

SPEAKER_14:

Uh what uh Ben, real quick question. Was the the the mushroom Dark Lord Wizard Palpatine dude? Is he now is he still evil, or is he like, what happened? I was mind-controlled. Um like is he essentially good again? Hooch they're all mind controlling.

SPEAKER_04:

The thing wasn't destroyed, it was it went inside of hooch.

SPEAKER_11:

Right, so they're all thralled to hooch.

SPEAKER_14:

Yeah. You are the the leader of these mushrooms.

SPEAKER_03:

You should cut me in half.

SPEAKER_06:

Let me like an evil hooch.

SPEAKER_14:

Well, yeah, yeah. And then you just regenerate into two hoochies too funny because I'll live. Seth is confused. He's like, really? Seth doesn't hesitate, guys. All right.

SPEAKER_06:

Uh uh.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah, Seth cuts you in half um at the waist, at the torso. Uh the evil the evil uh hooch sprouts from the head, grows new legs.

SPEAKER_14:

The good hooch grows a new head. Um I I uh use my fast friend's ability to instantly become chummy with this dark lord.

SPEAKER_04:

Hooch, you've lost your uh abilities to survive death one time.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, I've lost my abilities, but that was the greatest use of it ever. Wow.

SPEAKER_17:

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_11:

That's hardcore parkour.

SPEAKER_17:

My extra life.

SPEAKER_14:

I love that mushrooms have an extra life, it's just funny.

SPEAKER_04:

Um, there's a bit of a pause, and then uh Seth just cuts this guy in half again.

SPEAKER_14:

That's pretty on brand for Seth. Oh doing this. I could do this all day. I'd love chopping mushrooms. Fast forward 10 years in the future. Seth is like an expert chef. He loves chopping out mushrooms. That's all he does all day. Mushroom-based dishes.

SPEAKER_17:

He travels around uh uh critiquing other people's restaurants and trying to pull them out from from other debts like Gordon Ramps. Yeah.

SPEAKER_10:

I love that show. Actually, would it be better if Bello and Cheney killed? Yeah.

SPEAKER_14:

But what if they uh actually I imagine just like all of them they just started stabbing him?

SPEAKER_08:

Oh trying to destroy the monster. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

Oh god, you see like a horrible black spirit kind of seep and ooze and like pour out of it.

SPEAKER_14:

Uh-huh. That was a roll to see if like some bit of it escaped into Belloncini. Unknown. Oh man. Unknown. Unknown. Oh, it didn't. Did not. Okay. It's uh because I wouldn't have explained it if it did. Ah, yes. We are fine. Don't worry about us. Uh everyone in the room kind of comes to all the mushrooms that have been affected by this are now finally released from its thralldom.

SPEAKER_17:

Thralldom. And will be punished for their crimes accordingly.

SPEAKER_14:

The elder act. Actually, requests that you punish him for his crimes. Seth doesn't hesitate and just chops him in half.

SPEAKER_07:

You kind of went uh you kind of went uh a little crazy back there, but uh it's not your fault.

SPEAKER_02:

We were all uh consumed. In fact, I was too.

SPEAKER_04:

There is no coming back from the deeds I've done.

SPEAKER_02:

Hey, come on. We've all done stuff, and you didn't do anything. It was a dark shrimp tower. Believe me, I know I was watching you.

SPEAKER_14:

He uh he kind of has this blank stare on his face, and um here here, come here, guy.

SPEAKER_01:

Come here.

SPEAKER_14:

He slowly walks away. I gave him a quiche. A kiss? Oh quiche he looks at it and doesn't like doesn't even know what to think of it and just drops it. We are all shocked and horrified that he's wasting food. It's no greater cardinal sin.

SPEAKER_08:

I pick it up and I'm like, Yeah, dust it off.

SPEAKER_14:

Come here. Still good. This quiche is still good.

SPEAKER_11:

Um this quiche, this quiche.

SPEAKER_14:

Um that was crazy.

SPEAKER_04:

That was crazy.

SPEAKER_14:

Fran says, uh so what do we do now? Seth picks her up, looks deeply into her eyes, plants a smacker on her. I know what to do.

SPEAKER_11:

Uh Borg. Sorry, get a room. Come on, you know what I mean.

SPEAKER_14:

Pinhole, end of uh quest. What do you act? What do you guys actually want to do? Um so so so the dark shroom tower itself is what now?

SPEAKER_04:

Like, is it no longer a dark just a shroom tower, or I mean, it's not completely uh it's not a beautiful thing anymore, but it's been purged of its evil spirit, whatever that dark like mushroom thing dark, love crafty and unknowable evil that consumed its mind.

SPEAKER_09:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_17:

Well, um, uh as is customary, I only have one power left, which is barfly.

SPEAKER_14:

So we create a bar in the first in the top floor of this tower, there's a tavern already being made.

SPEAKER_12:

Yeah, there's like a they're remodeling a tavern at the bottom next to the blood dance, and it's called uh shroomies.

SPEAKER_02:

And they sort of uh oddly enough, it's nothing but mushroom soup. There's no drinks, nothing.

SPEAKER_14:

Yeah, uh, but it's fermented, so you you do get a little tipsy off of it. And nobody really works there either.

SPEAKER_02:

It's just it's just a vending machine, yeah. So there's a vending machine in the foyer, yeah.

SPEAKER_14:

It's perfect. When you go downstairs, I mean everyone is just out of sorts and has no idea what's happened. Um Bello and Cheney reunite with their villager friends, nice wheel and Zola, and they mourn the loss of whoever died.

SPEAKER_02:

Should tell Bello and Cheney to like take all these people home and help them and whatnot.

SPEAKER_14:

Lead your people back to that we've fulfilled our oath. Will you come with us?

SPEAKER_12:

You know, there's more adventure out there for us, guys. We uh we owe it to Grim Tusk to help him get his sword and yeah with the Drake and the Lost Willows.

SPEAKER_16:

Because only then will we be able to find Twin Hornbeard.

SPEAKER_11:

Seth looks gangster. Seth looks at us and says, Actually, I found I found my uh a true quest. She's right here. I think I'm gonna retire. Let someone else play that dragon.

SPEAKER_14:

Uh I mean he doesn't have to say that. Do you want him to say that? Is that we I don't know. No, not necessarily.

SPEAKER_02:

Then it's up to us to slay the dragon so we can get the hard beard.

SPEAKER_12:

But no, we can't. Is it a dragon? It's uh it's a drink. Oh, yeah, I was about to say if it's a dragon, we like, well, us and one army.

SPEAKER_02:

Um, what is it, Pikax?

SPEAKER_03:

I put it somewhere.

SPEAKER_09:

Look, Fran and I were gonna get married. Uh wow. We're moving to river country and we're gonna settle down and have kids and the whole nine yards. Uh I think I was crazy trying to kill a Drake for no real reason. And um it's been good.

SPEAKER_14:

For whatever reason, there's a wagon there, and you're like roll off right into the swamp. You just fall into a pit.

SPEAKER_08:

We spend the next six hours trying to get the trying to get the wagon out of the mud.

SPEAKER_16:

Thanks, guys. It's kind of uh appreciate you doing that after such a rough day as it is, you know.

SPEAKER_07:

It's uh oh yeah, no, uh, it's no problem.

SPEAKER_02:

And the credits roll at the DMV.

SPEAKER_14:

And that that's uh that's classic right now. That's a Star War. That's a star, that's a Star War. I was I was just finishing writing like a brief summary of what just happened in the tower.

SPEAKER_11:

Okay.

SPEAKER_14:

Um, Seth and Fran are getting married.

SPEAKER_11:

Cool. So we decided nothing. I'm sorry, it's all my fault.

SPEAKER_14:

Um we we could escort them back to mushmash. This is a terrible idea. I think that maybe we should just go back to mushmash and then we can northeast or northwest. What other yeah, are there a ton of other um mushrooms here? Like, what's the deal with this place? Like, what was it originally? Uh I mean what it was originally, you're not sure. This it's been growing for years like this, um, but there is a kind of there's some tunnels below the tower, and there are a lot of prisoners down there.

SPEAKER_11:

A lot of ancient boards down there, you're saying we go release the prisoners.

SPEAKER_14:

I I I think yeah, like we should you could try to scour the I would I want to treasure hunt, and then I want to I also want to scour the tower and like assemble a huge traveling party to go back to mushmash, like yeah, all the survivors or whoever do like a victory tour. Alright. Um there were you know several guards down in the tunnels as well as uh we just kill them all. Well, they're back to their normal selves. Nope.

SPEAKER_04:

Just um yeah, you can roll um uh treasure hunting.

unknown:

Okay.

SPEAKER_04:

There are a lot of prisoners. Uh 15 prisoners downstairs. Wow.

SPEAKER_01:

Hmm.

SPEAKER_14:

Um we round them all up and and kind of just tend to their wounds. Maybe we'll spend the night here and like kind of work on consolidating and making sure everyone's okay before we head out for the next journey.

SPEAKER_11:

Are there were there any food supply stores here?

SPEAKER_14:

Like um that the mushrooms had hoarded. They're cannibals. Yeah.

SPEAKER_11:

It's like prisoners were like, it was horrible. They ate one of us every day.

SPEAKER_10:

They're used to mushrooms, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_11:

Oh, yeah, and it's V.

SPEAKER_14:

Good for you, good for the blood. Yeah. Keeps you regular. Um, that's unfortunate, so we're gonna have to really like scrounge up a lot of food for these guys. No, that's fine. They can't worry about. They can fish too, you know. Oh, they'll just kill the weakest link every day and eat them.

SPEAKER_02:

Yes, it's it's the Donner Party. Yeah, essentially.

SPEAKER_14:

Donner Party of seven? Wow.

SPEAKER_04:

Alright, so um you guys can roll treasure hunting checks.

SPEAKER_14:

I love it. Three of them. You want to roll two, Jimmy?

SPEAKER_02:

Two treasure hunting checks?

SPEAKER_14:

Is it D200, Ben?

SPEAKER_04:

No, it's a D12. You'll have a plus one bonus.

SPEAKER_17:

Nine and five feet.

SPEAKER_14:

Nine and five. Classic stuff.

SPEAKER_04:

It's pretty classic. Okay, it's like uh it's flasic. It's got a small to it. Your total haul is four mundane items and a magnificent item. Nice magnificent item, yes, as well as gold coins and two components.

SPEAKER_14:

It's one patch of gold coins. Yes. Um, as you guys are doing all this, you notice that the elder has walked into the field of fungals and just like given himself to them. It's the worst thing any of us have ever seen. Yeah. Like his music swells as he is like uh like limb from limit. Oh luckily you didn't have to witness it. He did it while you were all busy, but uh I I was watching.

SPEAKER_17:

You see his tattered robes, like teeth marks on the waves like floating on the rough way to go.

SPEAKER_02:

Yes, it is. Yes, it is. We did not effectively convince him that he could have been redeemed. He knew what he did. We did a very few redemption.

SPEAKER_04:

All right, so you roll uh four, actually five D se uh D four hundreds. I got it.

SPEAKER_14:

Uh 398, 51, 12. You want them in chronological like numerical order, Ben?

SPEAKER_13:

Is that easier?

SPEAKER_04:

Uh that's fine. Wizard hat clothing.

SPEAKER_09:

A torch. Useful.

SPEAKER_04:

Your magnificent item is a halberd.

SPEAKER_11:

Nice. You can half man. Yeah. Wow, I could. Great law.

SPEAKER_04:

Uh boots. Mundane boots. And an axe.

SPEAKER_11:

Just like a regular mundane act, right?

SPEAKER_14:

Awesome. Jossum. Awesome three. Okay, and uh roll for the treat. Yeah. Go for it, Jimmy. Is it D12? It is yes. Number three. Charge.

SPEAKER_04:

PC moves into if you move uh, you know, from two ranges uh to an adversary, you can you would and you and attack, it cannot be countered.

SPEAKER_09:

Oh interesting. That's cool.

SPEAKER_11:

That'll be worth something if we if we sell it, or we can keep it.

SPEAKER_14:

Either way. Um okay, all right, okay. So do we set out to return to mushmash? And then the PCs set forth.

SPEAKER_02:

Sally'd forth to mushmash.

SPEAKER_04:

Who is Sally? Why is she fourth? That's up to you.

SPEAKER_17:

Um no, I think we could like end it and then begin our journey next quest.

SPEAKER_14:

Next week. A new yeah, you want to do XP and launch out from here?

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah, I mean it's up to you next time what you want to do.

SPEAKER_14:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

Like you don't have to go to Mushmash.

SPEAKER_14:

For sure, well, yeah, because they could probably make it back on their own, theoretically. Yeah, you know, a couple might die, but that's fine. I mean, it was a little gator food here and there, yeah. Circle of life. Wheel of fortune. The wheel of fortune.

SPEAKER_04:

All right, well, you completed a quest, definitely. Actually, you don't complete the quest until you fully escort every mushroom.

SPEAKER_14:

All right, we're not we're not gonna stop the stream. It's fine. Let's go.

SPEAKER_12:

They live in nine cities throughout the muck ones.

SPEAKER_14:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

All right, so that's one counter new creature. Uh yeah. Some horrible evil mushroom spirit. Uh significant NPC encounter. Nothing really new.

SPEAKER_14:

Right?

SPEAKER_02:

Not really. Unless the dark shroom is an NPC.

SPEAKER_14:

Dark hooch. Dark hooch. Let them say dark hooch still exists.

SPEAKER_04:

Uh solve a problem creatively, yeah. Get into peril, yeah. Do not travel. Explore new location, yes.

SPEAKER_11:

Yep.

SPEAKER_14:

Find a magic item or relic, no, crafted item, no. So that's five. And then uh did either of you do your ideal or flaw.

SPEAKER_02:

I did not snitch on anybody, and I did not talk my way out of trouble.

SPEAKER_11:

Yeah. Same. In fact, I failed miserably talking my way out of trouble. Same. My only flaw is that I did not use my ideal or flaw.

SPEAKER_04:

That's your one glaring flaw as a gamer.

SPEAKER_11:

I uh get XP because that's my flaw.

SPEAKER_10:

My flaw is that I don't use my ideals and flaws, so can that be an ideal and flaw? I get XP every game.

SPEAKER_11:

It's perfect. I love it. Why isn't that in the rule book?

SPEAKER_14:

All right, cool. Uh six? Was it six or five? Sorry, five. Fiverr. Fiverr. Love it.

SPEAKER_06:

Yoga fiver.

SPEAKER_14:

Well, well, sorry. That was a good stream, guys. That that was less deadly than I thought it would be. But we leaned into the creativity, I think. Yes, for sure.

SPEAKER_17:

That was fun.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_14:

Thank God for laxatives.

SPEAKER_04:

I mean, you know, there could have there were ways where you could have just been attacked by a whole bunch of things.

SPEAKER_08:

Like yeah, I mean, I think our ammo is to avoid as much of that as possible because uh in a straight up fisticuffs, we probably won't do very well.

SPEAKER_02:

Beastie cuffs, yeah.

SPEAKER_12:

Classic. Um, all right, guys. Yeah, thanks everybody for watching. Um, if you're interested in checking out Landaveam, go to landaveam.com, you can download the beta uh for free.

SPEAKER_17:

Um, and do get it soon because uh we are about to announce our crowdsourcing campaign, and the beta will no longer be available. You'll you'll be able to get the quick start guide, but not the beta. So grab it while you can, play some games. If you're looking for a group or if you want to start a group, uh check out our Discord. You can get that in the link below this video.

SPEAKER_07:

And uh have a great weekend.

SPEAKER_14:

You know what I mean? All right, thanks everybody. Bye bye. All right, bye. See ya.

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Ben Costa

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George Higgins

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James Parks

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