Bargain Bin Disguises & Black Drake Trouble | Land of Eem Fantasy Actual Play S05EP14 |

A professional drake hunter corners the party in a quiet Mushmash library—and instead of backing down, our heroes do what any sensible adventurers would do: double down on the chaos. Armed with a bargain-bin disguise, a hired trumpeter, and a half-baked plan, the group attempts to infiltrate the hunter’s next expedition. But their real objective still lurks deep in the swamp: finding Harn Twinbeard somewhere in the Lost Willows, all while a deadly black drake stalks the region.

Once inside the hunting party, the Land of Eem sandbox and hex crawl mechanics start shaping the journey. Travel rolls lead to unexpected camps, supplies begin to dwindle, and even simple decisions about rations become meaningful pressure on the road. Then the party discovers a mysterious stone fountain that changes everything—introducing yellow slime, strange new abilities, and an unsettling reminder that the Lost Willows are full of bizarre magic.

When the hunt finally begins, things go sideways fast. The drake strikes hard, poison spores fill the air, and the party quickly learns the difference between bravery and stubbornness. As combat turns grim, survival depends on pure improvisation: swinging from hanging vines, manipulating environmental hazards, and deploying a cursed pencil that gives the monster a very inconvenient new obsession.

The session ends with the party dragging a poisoned Hinterlander into hiding, spinning a desperate story to keep themselves alive—while the black drake remains very much at large.

If you enjoy Land of Eem Actual Play, creative problem solving, strange magic items, and unpredictable tabletop RPG adventures, subscribe, share the episode with a friend, and leave a review to help more adventurers discover the world of Eem.

The Land of Eem tabletop RPG, created by Ben Costa and James Parks, is available now from Exalted Funeral, carried by many Friendly Local Game Stores (FLGS) and online retailers. Download the FREE Quickstart Guide and learn more at: www.landofeem.com

Transcript

Welcome And Community Updates

SPEAKER_04 0:40

Hello and welcome. Hi! Hello there! What's up, fellas? Welcome to the EM stream from the Eam team at the Eam scene, you know? Yes. Yes. Yes, indeed. I concur. And uh we're here for our 14th episode of this second campaign. Looking forward to playing some Eam today. Um, for those of you just joining us, we are playing the Land of Eam RPG.

SPEAKER_08 1:09

Uh you can download the beta rules at landoveeam.com and get this beautiful map as well as uh some encounters and crazy RPG stuff to you know what I mean. If you already play, you can um check out the Discord. Sorry, it's like stream of consciousness.

SPEAKER_04 1:26

Um if you already play Land of Eam, you can check out the Discord to find players and GMs and join the community. James, James, can I ask you a question? Yeah, you can tell me how this whole thing works. Is it is it a thing called Patreon.com? There is a thing on Patreon.com. You you can you can support us on Patreon, and we'll be creating more Land of Eam uh random encounters and um sandbox settings, comics, stories, all set in the land of EM. Eam. I love it. I love it. Um, you know, no, it's the regional dialect, it's almost May as well.

SPEAKER_09 2:05

Um so uh I should mention that at the end of the month of May, this this book here is coming out. Dungeoneer Adventures. Dungeon Adventures set in the land of Eam. It's about Coop Cooperson and his three friends who are students at Dungeoneer Academy, which also exists in the sandbox, sort of mentions it anyway. And uh they go on an adventure in a fungal jungle.

SPEAKER_05 2:35

The fungal jungle.

SPEAKER_04 2:38

Need a lot of uh talc powder in the fungal jungle, you know. Drives a lot of chafing fungal chafing, yeah. Wet chafing. There is an entire chapter in the book dedicated to that, actually. Just like the the threat of chafing. It's one of the random encounters they face.

SPEAKER_05 2:53

There's an area in the fungal jungle called the chafing dish, actually. It's a terrible place to be.

SPEAKER_04 3:00

I support making that canon, Ben. That's one of my hexes. That's one of my hexes.

SPEAKER_08 3:08

Well played.

SPEAKER_04 3:10

It's already made, guys. It's already made. You don't even have to do any work. Awesome.

Recap And The Drake Problem

SPEAKER_09 3:14

But today, today we're we're in another fungal jungle of sorts. This is uh the mushmash, the village of the mushrooms at the uh the south point of the quagmash. And um, you know, last time we left off where you guys were sort of you know getting some respite and recuperating, and uh Hooch went off to sort of um research drakes because you still have to go to the lost willows to find Carn Twinbeard, and there is a black Drake that hunts the area.

SPEAKER_08 3:55

Very dangerous. I believe I failed spectacularly. You did, you did, I did, yeah. I minus one lore.

SPEAKER_05 4:04

Similarly, I failed spectacularly when it came to uh my busking checks.

SPEAKER_09 4:11

Bello and Chini just I don't know if it was spectacularly, you just kind of like you didn't get any attention.

SPEAKER_04 4:17

Yeah, I mean nobody threw roses, but also nobody threw tomatoes and cabbages either.

SPEAKER_05 4:22

So yeah, you know. I on the other hand was uh bellow and Chini say we don't know what roses are. They don't.

SPEAKER_09 4:29

I mean, you know, uh you don't maybe you don't know what's worse as an artist just getting no reaction at all.

SPEAKER_05 4:36

Right. Like it's almost better to be hated, or like to to have it provoked some emotion, you know.

SPEAKER_08 4:42

I agree.

Library Confrontation With The Hinterlander

SPEAKER_09 4:47

Uh Hooch, on the other hand, yeah, he's his poking around got the attention of someone named the Hinterlander. Indeed, that's right, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 4:55

Big fame hunter, and Hooch, you find yourself in a library and this uh hulking. Well, he's not so hulking, but he's much taller than you, and he's got this huge gator hood.

SPEAKER_09 5:13

It's like a leather gator, a gator hood, and a big black cape, and he's you know, he he looks like the part of a hunter. He's carrying a crossbow, he's got other weapons dangling off of him. He grabs the book and he says, uh he says to you, quit poking your nose where it doesn't belong. Uh little mushroom.

SPEAKER_04 5:45

No problem. I forget who is a mushroom sometimes. I was just taking a look, uh reading up on some local lore and history. Uh I'm uh I'm I'm kind of a history buff myself.

SPEAKER_09 5:57

I know what you're doing.

SPEAKER_08 5:59

And what's what do you what am I doing? I'm you know, I'm just minding my own business here. What are you doing?

SPEAKER_09 6:05

Just don't interfere with my work.

SPEAKER_08 6:08

Okay, all right. We we won't. You're working.

SPEAKER_09 6:11

Curtail you're asking around about the Drake.

SPEAKER_04 6:18

We are you bungle my quest well what hate for the Drake? Uh I mean Drake Bait. I kind of like back up from him a little bit, like I might bolt. But uh I'll be like his knife into the table.

SPEAKER_08 6:36

A librarian goes a fearless librarian. Shh.

SPEAKER_04 6:43

She's seen ruffians of all kinds in the mushmash. She will not be intimidated.

SPEAKER_08 6:50

Sorry, I didn't mean magazine. Um I uh I'm gonna I'm gonna like I'm gonna I'm gonna stab my uh I'm gonna stab my tuning fork into the into the table and say, look, obviously we're both pretty tough. What if we teamed up and took down that's it? Yeah. As the librarian glares at him.

SPEAKER_04 7:16

Yeah. Yeah. Sorry, sorry, ma'am. You know, what if we uh You're not understanding me.

SPEAKER_09 7:22

It's exactly what I don't want.

SPEAKER_08 7:24

Oh, got it.

SPEAKER_04 7:26

Got it.

SPEAKER_09 7:27

Okay, well you're reliability.

SPEAKER_04 7:29

We're not working on this for months.

SPEAKER_09 7:32

So I don't need someone else to ruin my hunt.

SPEAKER_04 7:37

Okay, well, you know, I'm gonna like well let me level with you. We actually aren't after the black drake, per se.

SPEAKER_08 7:49

So if you wanna deal with that situation, I'm totally cool with it.

SPEAKER_07 7:57

What do you say? If I see you. It won't be good for you.

SPEAKER_04 8:13

Uh I am going to librarian pushes the book cart like along, like glares at you guys. Grabs the book out of your hands, puts it back. Can I use uh I want to oh I didn't have a slide of hand. Um I want to like uh slam a book on the table and then run out of library. Like make a lot of noise like he did it and run out of the library.

SPEAKER_09 8:38

It works. Uh you you run away, leaving him standing there watching as you you go.

SPEAKER_04 8:47

Like when someone slams a book to cover the sand of their fart, but um but it's like it just draws more attention to you. I do I do that too.

SPEAKER_06 8:56

I do that too.

SPEAKER_04 8:59

We're not above potty humor on the Land of Beam. No, we're not. Um I mean, we're we're squarely in it. We're yeah, we'll be deep on it, if you will. Yeah. Um, I'm gonna go scramble out of the place and and try to find Brendo and let him know, like, hey, we've been threatened if we are even seen around the lost willows while uh the Hinterlander is hunting for that drake. He's gonna he's gonna be pissed. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 9:25

When you find me, I've cornered some poor mushroom and I'm trying to explain to them the value of the song Tube Steak mind blown. Thank you. Thank you. Uh thank you.

SPEAKER_04 9:36

You've had a Nappy Doggy tube steak before, right? Uh no, thank you. No, thank you. Please, please let me go. You're free to go at any time, sir. Oh, god, you're like really encouraging them to go now. But I'm like, I'm like boxing, man. I'm like, but but what's classic?

SPEAKER_05 9:56

Um, I say, hooch. These mushrooms don't they don't get my they don't get my music, man. Feeling really claustrophobic. It's like there's not much room in here.

SPEAKER_08 10:06

That's that's cool and all, but did you hear anything that I just said?

SPEAKER_03 10:09

What? No, I've been talking about myself.

SPEAKER_08 10:14

This guy, he threatened me, threatened us both. He's going into Lost Willows, and he doesn't want anything to interfere with his hunt for the Drake, which could be benefited.

SPEAKER_04 10:24

The real threat is the lack of culture in this town.

SPEAKER_08 10:29

I throw up my hands. Like I did, I do a full-on ziggy.

SPEAKER_04 10:33

I like don't know what you don't even know what to say. So, like two hours later, when I've finally calmed out, I say, wait, you get black hinterlander? Yes, he said he had a chicken attached to his belt.

SPEAKER_08 10:50

I don't know if it was a chicken or what now, but uh you know, how are we gonna deal with this? How are we gonna sneak into the lost willows and not be noticed by a Drake and the Hinterlander?

SPEAKER_04 11:02

Um so he see he definitely doesn't want to work with us. He thinks we're muscling in on his territory. Is that like the the conceit is like he just thinks we're gonna mess up his thing? I didn't get the sense that he thought we were muscling in. I got the sense that he thought we were gonna like blow his big head. Bungle.

SPEAKER_05 11:21

Bungle is the word I guess, right? Okay. Um bungle in the jungle. Yeah, bunglers.

SPEAKER_08 11:28

We are we are professional bunglers.

SPEAKER_02 11:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 11:31

Um well, maybe he I mean, what's keeping him from just going and killing Drake right now? Is my question. Like, why why is he even researching in this town? Like if he's so tough and ready to rock.

SPEAKER_08 11:46

Well, I think he was doing the same research I was, uh, but more successfully.

SPEAKER_04 11:50

Yeah, he's better at reading. And you can uh you can ask around. Can ask the librarian what books he's checked out. You know, I can share that information. You can it's a patron library conference. Librarian, yeah.

SPEAKER_09 12:06

So you want to go back into the library where it just came from.

SPEAKER_08 12:10

I want to go back in the library, and if he's in there, I'll just lie. I'll, you know. Oh, very yeah.

SPEAKER_04 12:16

Who is Jorf? Oh, he was hunting bandits, that's right.

SPEAKER_00 12:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 12:21

Tim is dead. Jorf. Tim Jorf. And Jorf. Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 12:26

I forgot Jorf. Yeah, I mean. He's actually with you.

SPEAKER_04 12:32

And he uh Jorf Mackleorf, the third. Jorf Mackleff. I like it. But he's actually the fourth. Oh, yeah. It's a long line of Maggaldorfs, but it gets muddy. Sorry, James. I'm like finishing each other's sandwiches. You know, no, finishing each other's sandwiches. It's to be expected. It's to be expected. It's good. Jorf tells you that uh he's heard of the Hinterlander, and he actually uh, while you guys were in town, heard a rumor that uh his whole hunting party was killed. Whoa. By him by by the Drake, or I was just about to say that.

SPEAKER_08 13:14

By the way, I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_04 13:17

Oh, I love you. Uh it's it's a mutual feeling, it's a strong mutual feeling. Uh uh, yeah, so so the his party was killed? Yeah. And he would like to know more. So after that happened, he came to uh Mushmash to regroup.

SPEAKER_08 13:38

Got it. Were they killed by the Drake or just in the same manner when everybody gets killed in the Quack Mash?

SPEAKER_04 13:45

Yeah. Yeah, the rumor is the Drake. They're hunting the Drake. Hate the Drake. Um, well, if he if he came back here to regroup, I mean he might be receptive eventually to another group regrouping on him. Does that make sense?

SPEAKER_08 14:07

Yeah, maybe he's recruiting. Can we can we like do some digging to see if he's recruiting a new group and then maybe infiltrate that group?

SPEAKER_04 14:13

Yeah, and and we can also kind of tell him about the sword that we were gonna try to find. I mean, maybe that'll be useful to him. It'll be like we can posit it as like an ultimate weapon. What about our guy? That's it. He wants that sword. Lars or whatever? Yeah. Larch? Larch? Seth. Lars or whatever? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Lars was a stretch in the previous game. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 14:36

Um, Seth, he and Fran are like off on their honeymoon or something.

SPEAKER_04 14:42

We got separated from them, right? That's true.

SPEAKER_08 14:45

So, you know, for all intents and purposes, that story is dead to us.

SPEAKER_09 14:49

Yeah, I mean, he could be looking for the sword for all you know.

SPEAKER_08 14:52

That's true. And we decided not to go after it because we're now on the other side of the entire quagmash build, I guess. That's true. Yeah, yeah. Five sessions to get back. Yeah. So we're gonna do it the old-fashioned way. Who's gonna die? Loses.

Disguise Plan And Costume Shopping

SPEAKER_04 15:05

Yeah. So he's Seth Grimtas searching for the worm slayer's tooth somewhere in the quagmash. Someone took his friend P Foot Lampright. The Drake killed. The Drake killed his friend P Foot Lampright. Okay. Took his foot. Got it. I hate the Drake. Um, okay. All right. So do we feel confident that we could somehow infiltrate the Hinterlander's new party should he be interested in assembling one?

SPEAKER_08 15:35

Or since he's in Mushmash, do we go, do we bolt for the Lost Willows and try to avoid the Drake entirely focusing on keeping ourselves hidden and finding harm twin bird?

SPEAKER_04 15:49

Are you suggesting that you disguise yourselves?

SPEAKER_08 15:52

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 15:53

Mustaches.

SPEAKER_08 15:55

Yes, I am.

SPEAKER_04 15:57

I'm aware that he's seen me already, but I would I would use all of my powers to try to do it.

SPEAKER_05 16:03

Uh he he has uh the opposite of whatever the opposite of fungi recognition is, like he has fungi face blindness, so he thinks they all look you know what?

SPEAKER_04 16:13

Uh Ben, I make that I'm gonna make that true. Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 16:18

I mean, is that what power is?

SPEAKER_05 16:20

Best use of the power. Um uh okay, so I mean I would say that it is a positive fact about an NPC because it's positive for us.

SPEAKER_04 16:30

That's not how that's written, is it positive? Maybe maybe it's like uh uh it's positive because he doesn't like uh he doesn't have face blunt, no.

SPEAKER_08 16:45

I can't figure out he doesn't not have I can't, I don't, I don't, I can't do the mental pretzels it would take to like um well he's not met you, so you could like fool him into thinking like you're like a hard butt.

SPEAKER_04 17:00

Yeah, we and then let's just I just need to disguise myself. Yeah, like me and Jorf, we can try to join, and then you can just like be part of the package deal. I'll say I'll just have you in my backpack or something and be like, oh, this is my manservant or fungi servant or whatever. Yeah, or I can put on a disguise and use all my yeah. Do you have a disguised kit? I feel like you did. I don't, but I can lie. Okay, that's basically some disguise. Um actually, can I use Barfly and uh make up a tavern in Mushmash so I can ask about like a like a kind of a CD tavern where I can ask about disguises, like a place I can get you know solid disguises. Sure. I mean uh I gotta roll it. That's a critical failure.

SPEAKER_02 17:57

Jeez. You know what? You know, no no no. We're gonna we're gonna I walk into the local police station.

SPEAKER_04 18:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 18:04

Yeah, it seems like mush mush mash isn't really um filled with nefarious bogtown things.

SPEAKER_04 18:11

Reroll it. No, re-roll it. No, no, re-roll it.

SPEAKER_02 18:14

Use the power meter re-ll it use the power to me. Wow, wow. I want it to be a thing.

SPEAKER_04 18:19

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_08 18:20

I'm sorry. That's another totes.

SPEAKER_04 18:23

My totes is three, so it's not another critical thing. Use another re-roll. No, we don't. Sorry, Jones. It's not meant to be. It's fine. It's fine. The dice are not friendly. That's okay. We we need a Bernard sighting.

SPEAKER_09 18:37

Um so it's not true. None of it. But uh there is a costume shop. Um it's like um What do mushrooms dress up as, Ben?

SPEAKER_07 18:59

That's a good question.

SPEAKER_04 19:02

I'm just like so curious.

SPEAKER_07 19:04

Like Kabuki Theater.

SPEAKER_04 19:06

Wow. They put on like they get like the nomasks or something like that. It should be like really crummy, it should be like really crummy, like Halloween costume type things. Yeah. It's like fake looking. Like, yeah, it's gotta be like misinterpreted human stuff that they like a very penis glasses and like terrible. Dress up as humans to scare off the uh the child, but young sports. The shroom ghosts, shroom ghosts, yeah. This is gotta this is some deep mushmash lore. Yeah, it's what do they what do they call it? All mushrooms eve or something? Yeah. It's done. Guys, this is you're witnessing landed in lore. Wow. I mean, not that I don't support that because I think it's I'm on board. It's just I'm sad. We do the monster mesh. I really want to go to this costume shop and like I want to make myself look like a warrior, but I buy like a felt suit of Greek armor, like that you get from like a Halloween spirit store.

SPEAKER_08 20:15

You know what I mean? Like really from Greece. It's like golden and gaudy. Yeah, you're like a myrmidon. Yeah, like a myrmidon. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 20:25

They throw in a net for free in a trident.

SPEAKER_08 20:29

Yeah, and it's it's made out of like no, but they're myrmidons.

SPEAKER_04 20:36

No, I'm kidding. Um and uh they're myrmidons. Myrmidons, that's good. Myrman, that's Canada. Um like something I want to buy something like this really gaudy like that, since the roll is low. Just be like, I'll convince them that I'm a myrrmidon. All right. Um, you'll have to pay for it. That's fine. Are you kidding me? I hand over the copper without even questioning it.

SPEAKER_05 21:07

No, God, what kind of money do we have? Let me tab back to the sheet.

SPEAKER_04 21:11

I'll give the whole bag away too. I won't even so this is do you have your own copper? Oh, Hooch has one copper pop. Okay, nice. I have one copper pouch, I just pay it all. Oh, thank god. Because we have two gold coin pouches still in an ancient coins pouch.

SPEAKER_08 21:25

You have to hide them from me.

SPEAKER_09 21:26

Yep. All right, you get your cheap costume.

SPEAKER_04 21:33

Um I say, Hooch, uh, you look amazing. Don't I? He's totally gonna believe that I'm a warrior. You look like a Marvin the Martian.

unknown 21:44

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 21:45

That's amazing.

Hiring A Trumpeter For An Entrance

SPEAKER_04 21:46

Super oversized felt helmet. That's classic. It actually hurts your AC. It does, slows you down. Um Hinterlander. Yeah, if we could like tail him all day, and like when he gets to like a tavern or something, like I wanna I want to make a scene. When I do make some like streetwise checks to not be noticed. Yeah, actually. Trickery, nimbleness.

SPEAKER_09 22:23

There don't seem to be any like uh traditional taverns here. It's uh there are a lot of food stalls on one street.

SPEAKER_04 22:30

There's some gastro pubs, uh it's like a cauliflower noodles place and it's like mushroom kebabs. They eat their own mushroom kind?

SPEAKER_02 22:42

Is that how does that work? They eat non-sentient mushrooms?

SPEAKER_09 22:46

Yeah. They uh harvest sea fungus.

SPEAKER_02 22:51

Oh, okay, okay, okay. Interesting.

SPEAKER_00 22:56

Okay. Okay.

SPEAKER_09 23:00

Um, why don't you roll a D6?

SPEAKER_04 23:05

Uh yeah, go for it, Jimmy. Uh look at that. Look at that. Three. Three mushroom sticks for you.

SPEAKER_09 23:13

Um, as you guys are waiting and kind of staking out uh the Hinterlander, uh Brendo, you notice that uh a bunch of mushroom locals have gathered around um a boggle who's playing a trumpet with a lot of gusto.

SPEAKER_04 23:31

He's standing on a box, and everyone is like gathering.

SPEAKER_05 23:35

They're rhythmically swaying, like there's like all the things. He's some kind of mushroom pied piper. I hate him.

SPEAKER_08 23:46

Um I have an idea. Okay. What if we could like bribe this guy to make a big fuss about announcing us, like doing the whole like and like hear ye, hear ye, since he's barking.

SPEAKER_04 23:59

He could like say the arrival of these two sound like money.

SPEAKER_09 24:08

Uh yeah, I mean um Brendo, once you get past your jealousy, I mean he takes a break. He takes a little break and starts counting the uh the money in his um little pot.

SPEAKER_04 24:28

I go up to him and I say uh hey there, fellow busker. I'm Brendo Sim. You may have heard of me. No. You're a busker? Yeah, I'm just uh I'm a bard of the people for the people by the people. You've been playing here? I tried playing here. I yeah, I just I couldn't I couldn't break through. Uh that's weird.

SPEAKER_09 24:52

I I mean I'm cleaning up here. They just this is the best place I've ever played.

SPEAKER_04 24:57

You think it's you think it's the horn? You think they just really love horns? I mean, who makes the music, the instrument or the musician?

SPEAKER_05 25:07

Oh, the instrument, obviously. If I had a better piece of equipment, no, I I don't say that.

SPEAKER_04 25:14

Um I say, no, you you raise a you raise a valid point. Um I show him my shrimp key turn. I say that they didn't receptive at all to this magnificent piece of shrimp machinery. Or the person behind.

SPEAKER_09 25:26

That is, man. You gotta play some horns.

SPEAKER_04 25:29

Uh can I can I like try to charm him with a like a brief little like like a riff, play some licks, you know? Sure. Yeah, minus one because he's already not impressed by you. Am I still wounded? I know, right? I'm not wounded anymore, right? Then I recovered. You said we spent time up here. That's a six. Nice. He he's he's he's some maritime. That's with the minus one.

SPEAKER_02 25:56

That's already with the minus one.

SPEAKER_09 25:57

Uh yeah, he he's like reluctantly.

SPEAKER_04 26:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 26:02

Don't knock it because you've never seen it before.

SPEAKER_04 26:04

Here, here, here. Push this key right here, and he goes, I say this is the key that turns everything into healing music. I don't say that. Uh this one shoots the healing laser at my phone. I just target your leg.

SPEAKER_09 26:21

Um well uh yeah, nice to meet you. Uh, but uh, you know, for another, you're kind of crowding me here, and uh, I'm not I'm not a hero.

SPEAKER_04 26:31

Scratch I'm not here to muscle in your territory, you know. My my buddy and I, we've we make our scratch adventuring, and and somehow barding has become a side gig for me. Um but what's your name, bud? That's a great question. And uh it requires a song to answer.

SPEAKER_02 26:50

Wow.

SPEAKER_04 26:51

Well and what is he, Ben?

SPEAKER_05 26:53

Or have you said he's a boggle?

SPEAKER_09 26:55

He is a boggle with a trumpeter, yeah. And I'm going to roll a random name because I can.

SPEAKER_04 27:02

Look at this guy using the tools at his disposal.

SPEAKER_09 27:06

His name is uh Bean.

SPEAKER_07 27:13

Mr.

SPEAKER_08 27:16

Bean Two. He's two feet tall and he looks exactly like Rowan Atkins.

SPEAKER_05 27:27

Bean Two.

SPEAKER_04 27:29

Two. Two. Like like true with a W. Yeah. Got it. T W O O. Because it's a Landavim spelling. Uh it's like I've always two, it's not true, it's Two. Two.

SPEAKER_05 27:43

I've always been Two with all my music, so uh that's my time, folks.

SPEAKER_04 27:48

And he just leaves to say, what just happened? They call me Two the Trumpet. It's perfect. This was all randomly rolled, folks. This is all it's all you can have this too. You can have kind of fun like this too. Nonsense.

SPEAKER_09 28:05

This is your type of fun.

SPEAKER_05 28:07

This is your kind of fun. Yeah, yeah, have it right here. Um, I say uh you play a mean twompet. In keeping with the pronunciation. Uh I say how I tried to hooch. Do you wanted to announce this? Is that what our thing was?

SPEAKER_08 28:20

Yeah, like make him, you know, get him to make us a big uh to-do when we when we uh or to to what end though? So the Hinterlander notices us. I think he's already noticed you, right? I'm in disguise guy.

SPEAKER_04 28:35

Oh I'm a warrior from the sea. Okay, first of all, is the Hinterlander even around?

SPEAKER_05 28:43

Do we see him in the audience, Ben? Is he was he also here?

SPEAKER_09 28:47

That's a good question. You were you were staking him out. You can make a search check.

SPEAKER_04 28:52

Maybe he led us here, or nearby at least, yeah. I will do plus one to make that a six because I can't roll over a three. Can I have also searched, Ben, or is it only a one of us?

SPEAKER_09 29:04

It's kind of a one of you thing.

SPEAKER_04 29:05

Yeah, no, I that's fine. Sorry, Brendo. I'm I'm saving that 11 for something, Ben. That's for convincing this guy to do what you want.

SPEAKER_05 29:16

Yes, it's done.

SPEAKER_09 29:20

Um so you got a six, success with a twist. Um you find him, but he is uh I don't know, you got any ideas.

SPEAKER_04 29:37

Oh, uh he's already recruiting someone else.

SPEAKER_08 29:41

Yeah, yeah, it's like a and then someone else is substantially more impressive.

SPEAKER_04 29:46

Yeah, well, it's like a really, really, really, really, really ridiculously big mushroom. He's like a literal portobello to a Cremini mushroom. Like he's just got a massive mushroom rippling muscles.

SPEAKER_05 29:58

He's yeah, he's whatever mushrooms have for muscles, he's got fungi on fungi on fungi.

SPEAKER_04 30:03

He's eating like a mushroom kebab, and all we hear from the conversation is it's good. My helium is just rippling from his limbs.

SPEAKER_02 30:13

Do mushrooms go around here? Do mushrooms go?

SPEAKER_05 30:21

Uh I'm gonna watch the barbarian today. I'm gonna do it.

SPEAKER_02 30:25

I'm gonna do it all day.

SPEAKER_05 30:26

Um, all right.

SPEAKER_09 30:28

Um, Two, Two the Trump the Trumpet Um starts announcing you guys.

SPEAKER_04 30:36

I'll roll to see what happens. Yeah, let's see if his heart's really into it. Come on.

SPEAKER_08 30:46

Okay, I'll take it.

SPEAKER_04 30:50

Nice. What is your name? My name is uh my name is Water Viper the Myrmidon. Wow. I say, oh, that's a cool name. I want to find this.

SPEAKER_09 31:09

Introducing Water Viper the Myrmidon. And Brendo. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 31:22

And I go bling ding ding ding ding ding ding.

SPEAKER_09 31:26

They are gracing mushmash with their adventurer presence. Renowned warriors, known from land to sea, and air because I fly. And air because he flies.

SPEAKER_05 31:44

I flap a little bit.

SPEAKER_09 31:47

Oh, welcome them and gaze upon their glory.

SPEAKER_04 31:52

Um, some what did he roll again? He rolled 10. Okay. I was if he had rolled less, I was gonna say some guy in the audience yells, We want more trumpet.

SPEAKER_09 32:03

Is that good enough, guys? Come on.

SPEAKER_08 32:05

Yeah, no, that was amazing. It's amazing. You're you're a real mensch, whatever that is. Look at him out there, and there's like no one watching.

SPEAKER_04 32:12

Yeah, they love us.

SPEAKER_09 32:14

You see uh the Hinterlander kind of scope you guys out.

SPEAKER_04 32:20

I do like a lot of uh fake martial arts moves. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like Rush Fondo.

SPEAKER_08 32:28

Yeah, Kiyoi!

SPEAKER_04 32:29

I go fast, and I keep saying that.

SPEAKER_08 32:31

Like, I go fast, I strike fast, water of the sea, I mean viper of the sea.

SPEAKER_09 32:36

Uh the the civilian mushrooms and cordles um kind of make a path for you in part.

Bluffing Into The Hunting Party

SPEAKER_04 32:47

Um I'm gonna like saunter like a gunslinger like down the middle of the street, and uh just like park right next to the hinderlander and the giant mushroom. Nice. And then say like I follow. I'm gonna like do like an up nod, like we're equals and say hi and say so.

SPEAKER_08 33:15

What's uh what's the plan, boys? I hear there's an adventure afoot. You know how word spreads?

SPEAKER_07 33:23

Like fire, wildfire. Make a trickery check.

SPEAKER_08 33:28

Oh yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 33:29

I'm gonna use I'm not gonna use fibbing yet. I think I can okay, that's a 14.

SPEAKER_04 33:43

I I have put my hand up to high five. I'm like expecting a high five back.

SPEAKER_09 33:52

Um he uh he does one of these. Like bumping four arms.

SPEAKER_08 34:03

Oh nice, nice. I do it. I'm unfamiliar with that.

SPEAKER_04 34:06

I just I follow suit though. I just like I do it. And uh says uh it's quite an entrance.

SPEAKER_08 34:16

Yeah, well, you know, this backwater town is uh full of little guys, but uh I I heard tell you you're on a quest.

SPEAKER_04 34:26

I'm the water viper, by the way. The water viper back up fast!

SPEAKER_08 34:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 34:33

Sounds like I should have heard of you before.

SPEAKER_08 34:36

Well, I've been out at sea, you see, fighting pirates, wrestling krakens, you know, because he's the water viper.

SPEAKER_07 34:45

Oh, so you uh you've been dealing with the NIAD problem around here, huh?

SPEAKER_08 34:49

Yeah, I mean, take a look at this armor.

SPEAKER_09 34:52

Sweet, right?

SPEAKER_08 34:54

Sweet, right?

SPEAKER_09 34:58

Uh it definitely looks lightweight.

SPEAKER_08 35:00

I'd like to keep it that way because I'm a strike.

SPEAKER_07 35:05

Okay, I'm putting together a hunting party. Keeping it lightly. Tell us more. We won in. I don't know if you have what it takes.

SPEAKER_04 35:16

Oh, yeah, we do. We have what it takes. We got a George Mackeldorf IV. Look at this guy. Torflexes.

SPEAKER_08 35:22

Uh hey. He carries our luggage. What's our personal valets? He's got two coconuts in his hand. He's clapping. Yeah. Um, you think uh you think Tiny over here can keep up?

SPEAKER_04 35:42

Settle down, big guy. Settle down. He cracks his knuckles.

SPEAKER_08 35:48

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 35:49

I just imagine like it's squishy when a mushroom man tries to crack his knuckles. It's like a white part. It's like a clown making a balloon animal. It's just like I can't I can't conceive of the the like, you know those um those books where they do like the cutaways of of like creatures where they show like the skeletons inside. Like I just imagine there's nothing inside a mushroom man. It's just all gray, like mush, more somehow animated.

SPEAKER_09 36:15

Yeah, yeah, we don't have to like delve too deep into the mushroom physics.

SPEAKER_05 36:20

No, no, I I I want to know. As a medical professional, I want to know how these mushrooms work. How do I intubate a mushroom?

SPEAKER_09 36:28

Well, okay, so there's when he like did this and compressed his joints, there was a release of gas. Yeah, yeah. It's not like ours where there's bones and whatnot. Bristle, yeah. There's uh mycelium. It's all down to mycelium, really.

SPEAKER_05 36:50

And uh it's a lot like Metacorians.

SPEAKER_04 36:54

Yeah. His his mycelium count is off the charts. Hoogh faints from all of this conversation. He doesn't like science. He doesn't like science at all.

SPEAKER_07 37:06

Um look, I'll be honest, there's no pay unless we bag the creature.

SPEAKER_06 37:15

Well, we're gonna bag yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_08 37:20

How big a bag are we talking? Yeah, this is where we give ourselves up because we like can't track with what he's talking about ever. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We're like, You want us to go buy a big bag? We can go buy a big bag.

SPEAKER_04 37:30

Is paper okay, or do you prefer plastic? I'm gonna need a big, big bag. Okay, make bag is that big. I do a hero tuck with him. We have we like knock our elbows together, our hands again. Yeah, yeah. We bro out. Just like elbows you in the face. Um, so when uh when are we leaving?

SPEAKER_09 38:01

Not so fast.

SPEAKER_05 38:02

We've already left. I'm gone.

SPEAKER_09 38:07

Look, what are your hunting credentials?

SPEAKER_06 38:10

Um is the big mushroom guy eating something? Or did I is that in my head?

SPEAKER_05 38:18

I say, look what I've captured, and then um I snap my fingers and wuzzle the caterpillar appears on my head.

SPEAKER_07 38:29

That's a caterpillar.

SPEAKER_03 38:32

I captured him.

SPEAKER_04 38:34

Um I'm gonna uh uh sorry. I'm gonna use I'm gonna use my slingshot to like bullseye a bucket that's like across the street or something like across the way, like sitting on like at the edge of a well. And just like be like these are my credentials. Bam! And like knock it into the well from across the across the way. I have something also after we resolve this. That's an eight. I'll use a quest point to make it a nine.

SPEAKER_08 39:07

Nice. Now I'm out of quest points.

SPEAKER_04 39:10

It ricochets off and like hits someone in the eye.

SPEAKER_09 39:16

Hey, Princess Funnybone, how's it going? It's been a while. Hey, Pete.

SPEAKER_04 39:19

Hey, welcome, welcome. What's up? Welcome to the party. Um, Ben, I I want to pull out the Ramgore horn uh that we got from the Ram Gore we slew.

SPEAKER_05 39:30

And uh I point out that look, this horn was severed with musical notes from my amazing musical machine. You can see the the trebleclef lines as they go through and have cut it off.

SPEAKER_04 39:41

Yeah, he played a laser chord.

SPEAKER_08 39:43

Laser chords kills Ben, kills him. I shouldn't encourage it.

SPEAKER_04 39:53

James encourages, and I get excited because James is encouraging me. It's because it's funny. I like things like funny dumb, and I love it. It's just like the most literal, like that's why I love it. It's just it's so ridiculous. Um yeah, no, I show him the Ramgorehorn organ that shoots missiles out of the pipes. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 40:17

Uh no, I show him the Ramgor horn of the Ramgor we flew. And um, I say, if you if you're a real hunter, you could sniff it and see that we slew it six days ago. Shrash Ramgor. We didn't buy this, can't buy this around here. He sniffs it.

SPEAKER_07 40:33

Checks out.

SPEAKER_05 40:34

Yeah, it's back. I take a I take a sniff too. Yeah. Um, I don't know.

SPEAKER_08 40:43

I just thought of something that would like totally destroy this encounter, but I won't do it because I forgot that I'm not Riley for one second. One second. Sorry. I I almost I almost derailed this on accident. It's like I was gonna I was gonna so I was gonna like take out the same tombing tuning fork that I slammed into the table and be like, he killed it with this. Like that he would like notice that we're lying to him.

SPEAKER_06 41:32

I'm the guy from the library.

SPEAKER_08 41:35

I won't do that. I've been very good. I don't have that flaw. I don't know.

SPEAKER_05 41:39

Oh god, I would have, I mean, it it would have been really good.

SPEAKER_04 41:41

I I appreciate that. It's like blow all of our powers, all of our quest points to ruin it.

SPEAKER_05 41:48

Yeah. As is tradition. Um, I say, well, well, what do you say? Is the hunt on?

SPEAKER_07 41:57

Oh, it's on. We're gonna get started right now. No time to waste.

SPEAKER_05 42:06

No time to explain why I don't have time to explain, why there's no time to waste. So let's get going. We're gone. I turn it to George Mackledorf IV, and I say, hey dude, you know, you don't have to come with us if you don't want like, but you're more than welcome. Glad to have you along.

SPEAKER_09 42:22

Of course, what else am I gonna do? Uh I don't want to be in mushmash. It's middle of nowhere.

Stocking Up And Rations Rules Talk

SPEAKER_05 42:30

All the mushrooms hear that, and that's the one thing they hate that people say.

SPEAKER_08 42:34

And catch from the from the conversation, yeah, the whole conversation, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 42:41

Uh see, I mean they're all looking at me now. It's it's weird. PD eyes. No offense. I punch them in the face. Um all right. Let's uh should we get some supplies? I have no money and no rations. Oh, um, yeah, I should buy some supplies for us with the gold pouches.

SPEAKER_05 43:05

Um, yeah, I turned to I turn to um the Hinterlander. Is this his name? Does it go by Jefferson thing?

SPEAKER_09 43:11

That's great. Yeah uh you can buy supplies for all of us.

SPEAKER_04 43:15

Ooh, ooh.

SPEAKER_05 43:18

Alright, but uh okay, you know, I want this to be prorated.

SPEAKER_04 43:21

I want this to be prorated against the rewards we earn, you know. Uh should get paid back before we deal out rewards. I'm just saying.

SPEAKER_05 43:31

The reward is the hunt. I sniff my Ramgirl horn and I say, I don't know about that. Um no, that's fine. Uh I'll buy I'll buy surprise.

SPEAKER_09 43:43

Uh big fame hunter ledger. Don't put your name on an asterisk. Under mine.

SPEAKER_04 43:52

Oh, I see. Oh, I get what you're saying. I it just took a while to process you were you're getting at that's okay.

SPEAKER_03 44:01

That's fair.

SPEAKER_04 44:02

I go uh I go buy supplies. Let's see. Um give me some more trines while you're what about quiche, Princess Funnybone says.

SPEAKER_07 44:12

I think we ate the quiche. No, she said I said she said yes.

SPEAKER_08 44:17

I didn't see the comment. But yeah, we did have quiche, and I I think we did eat it all.

SPEAKER_04 44:22

We ate the quiche.

SPEAKER_08 44:23

If anyone else is curious as to what happened to the quiche.

SPEAKER_04 44:26

Quiche went bad real fast. He had to eat it first. Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 44:28

But the Drake, he doesn't hunt near his nest. Okay. It's like he's carrying cash on him.

SPEAKER_08 44:39

Because they wouldn't. Drakes don't have wallets. They don't have pockets. Do Drake have wallets? I've never seen a Drake. I don't know. They have they have Drake and Wallets, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 44:50

I'd say, well, is this big mushroom guy with us? Of course he is. Well, how's he proving his worth? Look at him. Everyone's got a tip chip in.

SPEAKER_04 45:02

He's just like straightening horse. Shoes for fun while we're sitting there. He picks you up by the head, Brendo. Uh, I I feel uncomfortable with this, but I'm very light, so it's fine. Buy food, puts you down. No problem.

SPEAKER_08 45:19

We'll we'll head right over there and like I'll like tug uh Brendo by the wing and like come on, let's get out of here.

SPEAKER_04 45:26

And then I'm gonna gush about how cool this is and how the plan is working perfectly, and we're gonna totally find Harn Twinbeard in like two seconds. He's actually been following us the entire time.

SPEAKER_08 45:35

Those idiots, they have no idea what we're no clue. They're both standing right behind us. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 45:43

The guy starts recurving the horseshoes.

SPEAKER_09 45:47

Okay, so what are you gonna you're just gonna get some regular rations?

SPEAKER_04 45:51

Yeah, let's get cheap but abundant rations. You know what I mean? Like I just we want a lot. So I was thinking about rations.

SPEAKER_05 45:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 46:00

As I do in my free time. As one does.

SPEAKER_09 46:04

And uh rations. Trying to uh think think about why anyone would buy rations that cost gold.

SPEAKER_05 46:14

You know, and I was thinking you're saying given the option.

SPEAKER_09 46:19

Yeah, because I don't think anyone has done it.

SPEAKER_04 46:22

No, and I I I was gonna say I want your like a bunch of your cheapest rations.

SPEAKER_09 46:26

So I was thinking what more expensive rations should do, maybe, is feed more people like the roadbread.

SPEAKER_05 46:34

Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_04 46:36

So like I don't know what the exact numbers would be, but let's say three or two, four, or whatever. Yeah, whatever the number is, like a gold. If you're yeah, I guess I see what you're saying, right? Like, so silver or copper would be one, silver would be two, gold would be three. Maybe I say give me your ancient rations, and I pull out the ancient coins. The oldest ones you've had.

SPEAKER_08 47:04

If you've got some like old dusty rations, what what is this crap?

SPEAKER_04 47:09

Lembbus. The good stuff. Lembbus bread. Yeah, it never goes bad. Um I mean, I get what you're saying though, Ben. Petrified waffles. From petrified Wally's waffles awards.

SPEAKER_09 47:24

But yeah, uh, just trying to find a way to make it more um worth the money.

SPEAKER_04 47:30

Because like you're feeding four people on one roll, and the roll is like on a higher die. Yeah, we're gonna consume it immediately, and it's gonna be really funny. Um kind of rations only a skeleton could stomach. Uh I see what you did there. Um, yeah, well, what do you yeah, what do you want to do, Ben?

SPEAKER_05 47:53

How do you want to deal with it?

SPEAKER_04 47:55

I have we have two gold pouches. I I really would only like to spend a total of one gold on this situation. Um, and if that involves just buying a bunch of regular rations, that's fine. Um but if this is something you want to try out.

SPEAKER_08 48:12

Um well, do you do rations do you roll it to purchase? Because that's also a benefit of having a bigger coin, is that you can roll it maybe a couple of times and have a lower risk of spending them all.

SPEAKER_04 48:29

Well, I mean, yeah, so I wouldn't have to do that.

SPEAKER_05 48:35

So, yeah, yeah, but they would degrade to the next lower level, right?

SPEAKER_04 48:38

So we'll see. So then I can buy a gold, I could buy a silver, and I could buy a copper ration, theoretically. Yeah. We're gonna do it. We're gonna say.

SPEAKER_08 48:49

Let's do it. Because that's that's a decent amount of rations.

unknown 48:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 48:55

It's rational thought. I'll meet you there. All right. Um, all right, so we're gonna roll. Roll um for a gold pouch pen, is it a d6? 10. 10, yeah. Wait. D12. D12. D12? Okay.

SPEAKER_05 49:19

It's a d12. All right, I rolled a six. So um we get a gold level ration, and my gold is degraded to silver. Uh, or our gold, sorry.

SPEAKER_06 49:30

Um, I'll roll uh d10 now for the silver, or is it d8? That's a d8.

SPEAKER_05 49:39

Yeah, yeah, that's that was the jump that that my brain couldn't conceive of. Uh I don't think there is a D one and two? Or just one? Okay, so we've spent all the silver. You spent the silver. Okay, all right. So we got a gold and a silver level ration. And how do you title these, Ben? Like what are they called?

SPEAKER_04 50:00

Um let's see.

SPEAKER_08 50:03

I mean, it's it's I think unless it's specified in like the sandbox or something, it's just a ration.

SPEAKER_07 50:09

Yeah. Well, I feel like we gave some like generic names.

SPEAKER_04 50:21

I'm just gonna write the old level rationale. There's like there's like adventure co. I can't remember them, but there are some some names actually.

SPEAKER_07 50:29

Talk amongst yourselves.

SPEAKER_08 50:31

Mr. Rations? Is that one? Mr. Ration Rations? Is that like a D6? Like Noodle? I don't remember, you know.

SPEAKER_04 50:39

But what are you gonna do? What are you gonna do with all that junk, all that junk up in your trunk? Real question. That is pretty classic. Um so so George, side note. Yeah, I'm listening.

SPEAKER_06 51:01

Are we actually gonna help with the Drake or are we going to avoid it?

SPEAKER_04 51:09

So the only conceit of of like the purpose of us doing this whole thing is to go to where the Drake is because we think that's where Arn Twin Beard is. We know he's in the lost willows, so we want to find him.

SPEAKER_08 51:21

I was thinking like we could search for him pretty much throughout the travel.

SPEAKER_01 51:25

Yeah, I agree.

SPEAKER_08 51:26

Yeah, and then if we find him, slip out of the party or something.

SPEAKER_04 51:30

Yeah, and if we find the Drake, don't die.

SPEAKER_05 51:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 51:37

So you got some Kraken jerky?

SPEAKER_05 51:39

That's classic. Why not crack and crackers, Ben?

SPEAKER_04 51:45

I don't know. We don't have enough soup. That's true. Just gets all dry.

SPEAKER_05 51:50

And what level of ration is that?

SPEAKER_06 51:54

That is the uh the gold. The crack and feeds uh uh four, and then the next level is Nacka Donkey tube sticks.

SPEAKER_04 52:09

That's right.

SPEAKER_08 52:11

Jerky and hot dogs.

SPEAKER_04 52:13

I love it.

SPEAKER_05 52:14

And that feeds two Ben.

SPEAKER_09 52:19

Um I don't know if I want to do like what make it makes the most sense.

SPEAKER_04 52:26

No, I get it. It's it's like um it should be like two and then four.

SPEAKER_06 52:33

Yeah. Like two for silver, four for gold.

SPEAKER_04 52:40

Is that too much? Is that too good? I feel like gold is harder to get.

SPEAKER_09 52:45

Yeah, I mean, uh yeah, I want to make it like worth it. Worth it.

SPEAKER_04 52:52

Yeah, I mean yeah, let's try that and see how it goes. Cool.

SPEAKER_08 52:58

Uh, says because that's the most low-hanging fruit in Eam. Yeah, it is.

SPEAKER_05 53:09

All right, so we've we uh I go back and I uh tell um Hinterlander, I say, check out this sweet jerky. Kraken flavored.

SPEAKER_07 53:24

Nice classic. Yeah. Real adventurers eat Kraken. Don't be a jerk and eat all of it, okay? It's rule number one.

Travel Roll And Ruined Camp Loot

SPEAKER_04 53:37

Rule number two is laugh at all of his terrible jokes. Not joking. I thought you were making like a jerk comment. I have no sense of humor whatsoever.

SPEAKER_08 53:50

And James is noodle wandering back and forth across the room.

SPEAKER_05 53:56

Alright, let's go. Let's get out of here. We're in conversation, anyways.

SPEAKER_09 54:01

Alright. Uh someone make a roll. I believe mushmash.

SPEAKER_04 54:08

Kick us off, Brendo. Brendo Sam. Here we go. Nice. And my realms is plus one. You know what? Let's just use a quest point. Haven't used one yet. Oh let's make it a discovery. Let's go DZ. Wow.

SPEAKER_09 54:27

Look at this guy going for it. I like it.

SPEAKER_05 54:29

I said, hey, big spender, you know.

SPEAKER_09 54:33

All right, uh, roll a d100.

SPEAKER_05 54:36

I uh turn to um Hinduiner. I say, you roll the D100, you need odds. Roll 17. And I shake my head at him.

SPEAKER_04 54:45

Wow. George meta jamming himself.

SPEAKER_09 54:57

All right. Um you find uh the ruins of an old camp. Runes. Runes. And there look to be like crates of like stockpiles of uh exploration equipment around. There's like a lantern, um 30 feet of rope.

SPEAKER_07 55:22

Ooh.

SPEAKER_04 55:23

And I I take the rope for our personal needs. A pair of waiters. Um gotta stop cracking these jokes. You can't stop it clapping. Um, I'll grab the lantern. Because we've needed light many times. Now it really makes sense. This little picture here.

SPEAKER_08 55:59

Which picture? Oh, yeah. Yeah, well, I started with a lantern.

SPEAKER_05 56:04

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 56:07

Classic. Blew up in a mining accident. Do you want the waders? Do we need some waders?

SPEAKER_05 56:13

Uh I offer them to the Hinterlander. I say, here, this will keep your greaves dry.

SPEAKER_07 56:19

I'm not putting those on.

SPEAKER_05 56:21

I hand into the big mushroom man. Yeah, I I say, hey, big mushroom man, do you think you can squeeze into these?

SPEAKER_04 56:28

Wow. I mean it like only goes up to his shin. Like it only fits on one leg at a time. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 56:37

If he puts on both, he just falls. It's good. It's good. It's good.

SPEAKER_04 56:46

It's good. Um all right, cool.

SPEAKER_06 56:50

Nice find. Some gear. Yeah. I love it. Uh what else? Uh anything else in here, Ben.

SPEAKER_07 57:03

Um make a lore check.

SPEAKER_04 57:16

Um please hold. That's a four.

SPEAKER_09 57:24

Uh you have no idea what um what this camp was for.

SPEAKER_01 57:30

Okay.

SPEAKER_09 57:32

But you know, it it is a nice spot if you um were ever to come back to it.

SPEAKER_04 57:42

So let's camp here for the night.

SPEAKER_05 57:43

Well, it's just right outside of Mushmash, so it's like kind of a funny, funny, nice spot. Like it, I understand though.

SPEAKER_09 57:50

We got the net rest of the second part of the day.

SPEAKER_04 57:53

Yeah, we can't stay. Um I'll I'll roll it to keep in report.

SPEAKER_06 58:00

That is eight.

SPEAKER_04 58:03

That's great. All right, uh roll the d6.

SPEAKER_06 58:11

It's a one. That's that's that's what won, yeah.

SPEAKER_09 58:17

Yeah. Yeah, you made a wrong turn, so uh you might as well stay here for the night at this uh camp that you wander back into. Yeah. Hinterlander is like really pissed off.

SPEAKER_04 58:29

Yeah. Last time I let you use he he literally turned your map back uh up the right way. It was upside down.

SPEAKER_08 58:36

Oh my gosh, like isn't that funny? It's funny, it's crazy.

SPEAKER_04 58:40

But you said you knew the way around here. I mean just because he's a mushroom, buddy. Yeah, exactly. Doesn't mean oh well that's the kind of thing.

SPEAKER_08 58:49

I can see why that would make sense because I yeah, the mushroom city and being local and all.

SPEAKER_07 58:54

Um you're supposed to hide the locals to help guide you.

SPEAKER_05 59:00

What about this guy?

SPEAKER_04 59:02

Um the big mushrooms just take it to note flicking bogies, like he bullseyed the ball rat with his boogers. Killer rat falls off a lot. Killer rat, there we go. It's like stunned.

SPEAKER_08 59:20

Um it's muddy around here. We did the best we could. We should probably you know make camp and eat some two pits.

SPEAKER_04 59:29

It's uh it's wet, sloppy, gets everywhere. It's everywhere, it's grainy. Pooch dies for your skin.

SPEAKER_08 59:38

Um can I during the camp that night, I want to search for Harn Twinbeard. Like I want to like search the area for any clues of uh somebody laying low.

Campfire Backstory And Bogtown News

SPEAKER_04 59:51

Well, you're technically not in the lost willows where he was said to the city. Oh, that still does it. I'm not looking at the map, so I can't. I mean, I figured, oh, you know, but it was the wrong turn. Where did we end up getting lost to? Back to the um one hex out of mushmash, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:11

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:13

The nice place. Yeah, okay. Maybe we could search the nice place. The one I'm like, yeah, we're never gonna use this. It's right outside of mushmash. Okay, very next roll. Very next roll we use this.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:22

Luck of that ice, somebody, I don't know. Um, all right. Uh should we tell stories with this guy? I want to learn his story, Ben.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:37

Okay. I say uh let me, but I feel like it wouldn't be easy to ply it out of him. Maybe I should try to like charm him or something. That makes sense. Um it's just funny. Like the idea that you just say you want to learn a story and gain XP, but then all of the bonus is on me to like uh it's like immediately my favorite thing.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:06

I wish I had thought of it before.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:08

Um, no, I I I I turned to him and I uh this is an interesting conceit that you made, Ben.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:15

Like uh, you know, now that I have a party member. Um I say uh so Hinterlander. Is that that's that's your full name, is it? The Hinterlander. Is he like a first name or is it like a prefix like Mr. The title, you idiot. I could be the Brendo. Oh man, why didn't I think of that? Say no, no, so so so titles are always earned. Tell us how you earned your title.

SPEAKER_07 1:01:45

Not always. Not always, but this one's earned.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:49

I was gonna say, what does that mean?

SPEAKER_07 1:01:52

Um some people in power. Just get it. Birthright.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:58

Sounds like you've got a hatred for let's call it the man.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:03

You could also go the other way, the other way. I mean, you could end up with a nickname you don't like, you know? Like tiny over here.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 1:02:14

Kevin. We just keep egging him on until he picked the crap out of us.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:19

He's gonna eat us one day. He's just gonna stuff us in his mushroom mouth about the fight our way out of his belly.

SPEAKER_08 1:02:24

I have to bully him to make him think I'm stronger than I am.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:29

It's like you're in prison.

SPEAKER_08 1:02:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:35

I love it.

SPEAKER_08 1:02:36

That's a theme that's carried out throughout this entire campaign. We gotta just we gotta strike first.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:42

Yeah. Water viper always strikes first. Always strikes first.

SPEAKER_08 1:02:46

Yeah, I go fast.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:02:48

Um, yeah, so so I look back to uh the Hinterlander and I say, Well, how'd you earn it? I'll make a charm check. Um, see if I can convince him.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:03

Come on, big money. Ooh, it's gonna be like seven.

SPEAKER_09 1:03:08

All right, that's a success, success with a twist.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:11

Um, what's the twist, Ben? If we tell anyone, he'll find us.

SPEAKER_05 1:03:24

Yeah. Uh he maybe by by him telling us the title, it makes us like bound blood brothers, like in his mind. Like, like so that if we bail on him, he'll hunt us down to the end of the earth.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:39

I feel like he was gonna already do that, but yeah, well, maybe we don't have to define it yet.

SPEAKER_05 1:03:50

Yeah, but but I like the idea that like there is a consequence to him telling us, and maybe it's only on his end that he perceives that, you know, like but he's like, all right, I'm gonna open up to these guys, and if I get emotionally hurt, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:04

What if the twist is it's sort of embarrassing, and if we tell anybody like he's super emotionally hurt, which is translating in combat.

SPEAKER_06 1:04:13

Yeah, oh translating to violence, all right. That's fine too. Um Ben is like winding up for what this story will be.

SPEAKER_05 1:04:27

I feel like Ben might be in like a terrible hole in his brain where he like wants to see like really dumb things, but he's he's trying to keep it good for the stream.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:36

That's how I no, no. I'm just if it's embarrassing, that kind of throws me for a loop.

SPEAKER_08 1:04:43

Uh maybe it's like um has something to do with him being uh uh like an outcast and a loner, which is why he's called the Hinterlander.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:56

He's like he's he's not comfortable with other Felmog guys. Oh, he's the Hinterlander, like he's an outcast, he's got no friends. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_08 1:05:07

Like they're gonna high hire friends.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:10

Yeah, I guess it's like there are many people from the Hinterlands, but he is the Hinterlander.

SPEAKER_09 1:05:16

So, yeah, maybe he's actually uh he says I'm a hanged man. I looked at the Tabber of the Hanged Man. He like opens his uh vest and you see the symbol of the hanged man, which are um fellmog. It's like a an unofficial order of fellmogs that have been disgraced.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:43

Oh. It's like you get kicked out. Not even an hour later. Yeah, yeah. Mark of the hang of a word when you get kicked out of an order.

SPEAKER_05 1:05:53

So you must have done some pretty bad to be a from that order.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:58

Or maybe it was pretty good pretty good, yeah. Did you poison your commander's soup or something?

SPEAKER_07 1:06:04

I wish. Nope, I was just hunting on uh someone's land. The wrong man's land. Who's the right man? Huh? The land should belong to all of us, the people.

SPEAKER_05 1:06:23

Yeah. I look him in the eyes and I say we're the right man. All of us. Um he was hunt- so he was hunting the wrong man's land. That's cool.

SPEAKER_07 1:06:31

Is it cool?

SPEAKER_04 1:06:33

Um I'm saying, I'm saying, you know what, I I agree with what you're saying.

SPEAKER_05 1:06:40

So that's you think it's cool? I think that's no, I think I think that I respect the fact that why are we all talking like this? I respect the fact that you you know don't respect other people's property lines and and and that you believe it should all just belong to everyone.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:53

It's all arbitrary.

SPEAKER_05 1:06:55

It is. They're all gerrymandered and constructed by the man.

SPEAKER_07 1:06:59

Yeah, Count Casidar thinks he owns everything.

SPEAKER_05 1:07:06

Our characters don't know Kazadar.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:11

But I act like I do. I do a lore check.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:14

Oh yeah. No.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:17

James. James, the person knows all about Cazard. Yeah. Oh yeah, no. Yeah. I'll fail the lore check and make something up. I do. I fail it. It's not critical though. Hmm.

SPEAKER_09 1:07:28

You you think he's talking about Cazadar in uh there's one in Bogtown, isn't there? A Cazadar.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:36

Jeffrey Cazadar. He's uh an accountant. Yeah. Oh.

SPEAKER_08 1:07:42

Um yeah, so you had a thing with the Baroness?

SPEAKER_05 1:07:47

What? In Bogtown. That's besides the point. Oh. Well we go.

SPEAKER_08 1:08:01

He's like that. He like everybody like it thinks he's amazing because he's a hint, he's like all mysterious. Hey, what's going on?

SPEAKER_03 1:08:07

What's up?

SPEAKER_07 1:08:11

Anyway. Yeah, it's just my wild crazy life. A couple of wild crazy kids, you know. What about you, Bird? Birdman? Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:08:26

What about me? What's your story? Steven Bard. Maybe you've heard of me.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:34

Named Brendo Sim. She's been traveling with us for a full day. Maybe you've heard of me.

SPEAKER_09 1:08:41

I heard of you when you got in uh uh introduced by the trumpet player.

SPEAKER_05 1:08:47

Yeah, that trumpet player is just uh another lackey and a long line of lackeys, boot lickers who kind of want to kiss up to me, and that's why he did it. That's why he announced us. Because I'm such a cool bard. I've played all the popular places in Bog Town. Now I'd take my show on the road, play some killer melodies for a dragon or a Drake.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:09

What are we hunting? It's Drake. The Drake.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:23

I mean, thank God for the plus one. Uh, can I ode to re-roll myself?

SPEAKER_04 1:09:30

I I might be able to jump on that and help with the lie or explain the lie. It's only for uh an ally. Yeah, no, I can't. Um yeah, if you want to jump on it, go for it. Yeah, I'm I'm gonna like chime in and be like, what he means, you know, what he means to say. Well, uh he kind of he's kind of like not impressed. He oh, here's blown smoke.

SPEAKER_05 1:09:52

Uh well, I'll use famous, and once procession invents something in NPC has heard about the bard.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:58

I forgot I had that power. It's just it's one of my newer newer powers. Um uh let's see.

SPEAKER_05 1:10:07

What did we what did we do?

SPEAKER_04 1:10:08

Oh, I'll say that um I played a sold out show uh deep in the heart of Bogtown, and I cleaned up uh you know, like kind of like like it was illegal, and like the implications there that like I was badass enough to play a show at Bogtown.

SPEAKER_09 1:10:32

Um he he thinks you're just blowing smoke. So he he's like that's the issue, yeah. He's not interested in like I'm badass. Like he wants he gave you real.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:49

Oh, he wants real. So I mean you can still use the power, but okay, all right.

SPEAKER_05 1:10:59

I'll give him I'll give him real, Ben. I'll give him real. Um that's he's he's heard that I okay, he's heard that I'm a yeah, he's heard that I'm a vigilante bard who's doing everything he can to rescue his songbird mom, and he'll stop at nothing. Nothing to get what he needs. Uh let's see if this works. Is that good enough for you?

SPEAKER_04 1:11:24

Is it good enough for uh the hinterlander? Let's see. Survey says I use a quest point.

SPEAKER_07 1:11:35

Yeah, so that's you, huh?

SPEAKER_05 1:11:37

Yeah, that's me.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:38

It's like kind of seems inconsequential to him, but like he's at least heard of me.

SPEAKER_07 1:11:43

I've heard the Tricky Toe gang searching for you.

SPEAKER_05 1:11:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:49

They're searching for my head on a plate. I'm gonna chime in and be like, yeah, and uh we heard there are uh there's some tricky toes around here.

SPEAKER_08 1:12:00

Did you hear anything about that, uh Hinterlander?

SPEAKER_06 1:12:05

I have. Oh yeah?

SPEAKER_07 1:12:08

Somewhere in the Lost Willows, right? Talking about Harn Twinbeard. I don't care where he is, am I I mean we don't care either, but like, where is he? He's in the lost willow somewhere, it's a big place. It's easy to get lost. I haven't gone looking for that fool.

SPEAKER_05 1:12:33

That fool.

SPEAKER_07 1:12:36

Turkey toe watching dead.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 1:12:39

I don't know if he got a word from Bogtown lately, but things have changed.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:45

Yeah, we've been gone for a while. World events be happening. Yeah. Heard the mayor's dead.

SPEAKER_08 1:12:51

What?

SPEAKER_04 1:12:53

That is genuine. Like, I'm surprised and sad.

SPEAKER_05 1:12:57

That is, I thought she and Hooch were gonna have babies. Who's hooch?

SPEAKER_08 1:13:04

I'm hooch.

SPEAKER_05 1:13:05

I mean, I say Hooch is uh Hooch is an old pal of mine. Yeah, he's he's he's a great guy. He's a great guy.

SPEAKER_08 1:13:20

He's really a great guy.

SPEAKER_05 1:13:22

He was a great guy. I guess that would be another reason he won't have babies with the mayor, but you know.

SPEAKER_07 1:13:27

The mayor's dead. Well, I think your uh your quest just got harder, Brendo. Bogtown's overrun with trickitoes.

SPEAKER_05 1:13:35

It's been overrun since day one, since the day I was born. Yeah, but I'm telling you it's worse. And I'm I'm hearing you and acknowledging you.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:46

Um, I actually do make notes in my he was he sees me pull out a journal and I write down Bogtown has gotten worse. It's now overrun by the tricky toes. We gotta get Harn Twinbeard man. This is devastating news. Yeah, actually, that is kind of devastating for our characters.

SPEAKER_08 1:14:05

Um yeah, he doesn't care about that.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:15

We gotta like slip away from this guy. Well, I mean, like, we still gotta get like all we need to escort all the way over to I want to divert him to the Drake so that we can go get our twin beard without being eaten by it there. I mean, I wouldn't mind slaying a Drake because obviously we're we're totally capable of it. Yeah. What smoke are you guys now? Four. I am leveling for the Drake slaying level, Ben, whatever it is. I'm five.

SPEAKER_09 1:14:46

Let me uh let me look at the sandbox real quick. I'm not gonna tell you guys, I just want to look for my own uh edification.

SPEAKER_05 1:14:52

Ben's gonna just look and then he's gonna mug the camera and he's gonna laugh a little bit.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:57

And he's gonna say, alright, so move on. Yeah, yeah. Guys are screwed, it's good stuff.

SPEAKER_05 1:15:09

That was actually Tiny laughing. We don't know why.

SPEAKER_04 1:15:13

That's a funny thing. Tiny's got a tricky toe tattoo that he's got hidden underneath his arm. Oh, what if he just doesn't have it hidden? Has it been there the whole time? Tattoos on mushrooms. I don't know. That seems like it would bleed a lot.

SPEAKER_05 1:15:26

That's true. Do mushrooms even bleed?

SPEAKER_04 1:15:29

I just mean the ink would like oh, absorb. They all just look like blue dots. Yeah. It's just got mush in his arm. They're temporary tattoos.

SPEAKER_05 1:15:40

Yeah, yeah. They have uh they're scented, they have flavor when you lick them to apply them. Yeah. Oh, tube steak.

SPEAKER_09 1:15:51

Wow. All right. Uh guys gonna shut it down for the night, or are you gonna do something else?

SPEAKER_04 1:16:00

We shut it down. That was some. Yeah, I think we shut it down. We shut it down. I we're not close enough to Las Willas to go searching.

SPEAKER_06 1:16:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:16:09

Guys are clearly ready for Star Wars. We were just talking about this. That's George's birthday. It is. Yeah. Um, there's a 2% chance that we'll play a Star Wars one-shot on that day. It's uh it's a very, very if not, we'll just do a live reaction to the Star Wars holiday special with George. Yeah. Wow.

SPEAKER_05 1:16:29

Tune in at Night. That would actually be really good. Yeah, that would be home. Yeah. I would watch, I would do that. I would definitely do that.

SPEAKER_04 1:16:37

It'd be a long hour. Oh, it'd be a hard hour. Actually, maybe a rough hour. I don't know. It'd be pretty fun.

unknown 1:16:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:16:43

You should consider it. Would we get top the right struck for that though?

SPEAKER_09 1:16:47

I don't think Star Wars cares about it enough.

SPEAKER_04 1:16:49

Yeah, we don't monetize, so it wouldn't matter. Oh, okay. Fair enough. Fair enough. Yeah, we don't monetize anything.

SPEAKER_08 1:16:54

Live reacts to Star Wars holiday special. All right, let's put that on the back burner. That might happen.

SPEAKER_04 1:17:03

We should just do that next weekend instead of streaming. Yeah, that that could be fun. We should actually talk about that. Anyway, back to the back to the game.

SPEAKER_05 1:17:10

Yeah, back to the game. Uh say goodnight, the Hinterlander. Good night, good night, Brando. Good night, Tiny.

Strange Slime Fountain Transformation

SPEAKER_04 1:17:18

Good night, who uh uh Water Viper. By morning, I forget who I am. Yeah. Gotta go fast. What are you talking about?

SPEAKER_09 1:17:29

Um, you guys both find yourselves like huddled around Tiny in the morning.

SPEAKER_08 1:17:36

It's like snoring underneath his giant mushroom cabinet.

SPEAKER_04 1:17:40

It's good. It's good. Sucking our thumbs. The Hinterlander is already up. He's been up for an hour, he's like scrambling eggs.

SPEAKER_09 1:17:53

It's about time to get up.

SPEAKER_05 1:17:55

Well, you know, we need our beauty sleep. We're not as uh, you know, beautiful. Brendo stops. He doesn't know how to continue that without seeming like he's hitting on the Hinterlander.

SPEAKER_07 1:18:08

All right. Uhward. Let's go.

SPEAKER_04 1:18:14

I'll roll it up. Yeah, roll yuppie. That is a eight. Ocho.

SPEAKER_09 1:18:22

Can you not roll a one? That's the question.

SPEAKER_04 1:18:25

I can roll a two.

SPEAKER_00 1:18:27

Ah, come on.

SPEAKER_04 1:18:29

All right. Lost supplies. Oh no.

SPEAKER_08 1:18:32

I forgot that was a thing.

SPEAKER_04 1:18:37

Should we have a 50% chance which rations we lose? I mean, it's we have a lot of supplies to lose. That's true. That's true.

SPEAKER_08 1:18:47

Ben, we watched the lantern float down a river.

SPEAKER_04 1:18:50

What do you think? Do you think it'd be interesting, like if you lost supplies, you can then spend the next leg of the journey. Like if you lose something important, you can then spend the next leg of the journey instead searching for that supply and finding it? Delaying your progress? Or is that not good? Not as good. No. Just kind of makes a big inconsequential moment. You lose a day and you have more vulnerability, maybe, but yeah. Okay. Uh how do we remind me how we decide what supply we lose? Uh James Hooch loses something.

SPEAKER_08 1:19:25

Oh, okay. Uh I have eight things that I'm carrying. I'll just roll them. Roll a D8 and pick one if that works, because I don't have any rations or anything.

SPEAKER_04 1:19:36

I mean you you can. You can lose some of George's stuff. Okay. Um how many things do you have in your inventory? Oh no, I wasn't gonna say that. I was just being facetious. No, unless that's what you guys want to do.

SPEAKER_05 1:19:54

That's fine.

SPEAKER_09 1:19:58

I think the idea is that it's often just better just to lose.

SPEAKER_08 1:20:02

Alright, I'll just I'll just I don't have any food, but I'll lose the lantern that I found. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 1:20:15

Easy come, easy go. I guess.

SPEAKER_05 1:20:17

Tiny, tiny is like behind you, and you hear, oh a lantern. It's mine now. It's mine now. That's how you lose the item. You don't actually like it, you just dropped off your belt. Yeah. Um, all right. Well, let me roll for the next leg of the journey. Plus two.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:37

Oh. I use another quest point. I knew you were gonna do it.

SPEAKER_09 1:20:44

Life day maybe canon, but no one. I mean, if you've actually watched the special.

SPEAKER_04 1:20:53

We're off the rails. We're off the rails. Sorry. It's just it's just yattle. It's just yattle. That's the only good that came out of life day. No, it's not, it's not true. Yattle. Is it yattle not in that? Oh no. Lumpy. Lumpy, yes. Oh my god. I can't wait to do this.

SPEAKER_09 1:21:10

All right, roll a D100.

SPEAKER_05 1:21:13

I'm going to try to I roll, I turn to Tiny. I say it's your turn. And he rolls a 55.

unknown 1:21:20

Wow.

SPEAKER_09 1:21:25

Alright, you guys uh stumble upon a uh stone fountain. It's in the shape of a dragon's head with long tusks, and it's oozing yellow slime from its mouth into a stone bowl.

SPEAKER_08 1:21:42

Um can I examine the slime?

SPEAKER_04 1:21:49

Yeah, make a wilderness check. Too late, Tiny's already drinking it. Well, more powerful than you ever can. Oh no. Critically mess my wilderness check.

SPEAKER_09 1:22:05

Um Tiny drinks it and uh you also drink it, pooch.

SPEAKER_04 1:22:14

I would drink it too. Oh, okay. And you both turn into yellow slime.

SPEAKER_00 1:22:22

What? Like yellow.

SPEAKER_04 1:22:26

End of campaign versions of yourselves.

SPEAKER_08 1:22:32

Oh, this is really weird. I feel really weird. I throw up.

SPEAKER_04 1:22:37

Yeah, that's hilarious. There looks to be like one serving left of this slime. If you can I bottle it, yeah. Can I like can I ooze myself? Like what what's not on stream, dude?

unknown 1:23:09

God.

SPEAKER_08 1:23:13

I'm I'm a yellow slime. I'm like, ooze. Secret of your ooze. What is the secret of my ooze? This is wild. This is kind of cool.

SPEAKER_09 1:23:23

Uh you know, we'll say you've got gelatinous goo powers.

SPEAKER_04 1:23:29

You can um you have uh mining mining abilities? Slip under small cracks and uh you leave a trail of slippery ooze. Interesting.

SPEAKER_05 1:23:41

Awesome.

Entering The Lost Willows At Night

SPEAKER_04 1:23:43

That is awesome. Okay, and I I jarred up some yellow ooze for one serving left. That's good. We can use that.

SPEAKER_06 1:23:55

So this will come in handy. Um I guess uh is that the end of this the trek already?

unknown 1:24:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:24:09

Yeah, and you've just entered the lost willows. Nice.

SPEAKER_09 1:24:15

Um you see that um this place is uh is very uh very tricky to navigate.

SPEAKER_08 1:24:27

Oh boy.

SPEAKER_04 1:24:29

Easy to get lost in as it uh as it were. Yeah, and like everything kind of looks sickly and like just the willows are just hanging like they're dead, but they're not. And uh they're just like droopy and morose, yeah. Yeah. There's swamp weed and uh it's kind of dank and claustrophobic as well. That's makes sense, yeah. Like every turn looks like the same, like it's just everything is very, you know, almost similar. Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 1:25:10

And like you get inside, and soon you can't even see the sky anymore.

SPEAKER_04 1:25:18

Say, man, I wish we had a lantern. Tiny holds his up. Light barely filters through the trees as we slosh through the the muddy, brackish swamp water of the lost woods. I know. I'm already thinking about like searching for Twinbeard. I I put the waders on as you say that.

SPEAKER_06 1:25:39

I've got my waders on.

SPEAKER_05 1:25:45

Um I turn to uh the Hinterlander and I say, Well, we've we've made it to the edge of the lost uh woods. Do you have any way of tracking the beast?

unknown 1:25:58

I do.

SPEAKER_06 1:25:59

A zoo? Oh do but uh night's about to fall.

SPEAKER_07 1:26:06

You ready for a night hunt? I guess I was born ready.

SPEAKER_05 1:26:11

That's probably the wrong answer. I'd say not really, but you know, uh that's the best time to hunt it. Is it a nocturnal creature or is it uh you know diurnal?

SPEAKER_09 1:26:25

Hunts when it wants.

SPEAKER_06 1:26:27

When it's hungry.

SPEAKER_07 1:26:30

Exactly.

SPEAKER_04 1:26:31

I respect this creature. What uh what kind of sign does it leave? What are we looking for? What zodiac sign is it? Is there an EM Zodiac, by the way? Sort of thinking about something like it.

SPEAKER_06 1:26:49

But no. It's the year of the French bread. The year of the tube steak. The year of the noodles.

SPEAKER_08 1:27:00

Year of the noodle.

SPEAKER_04 1:27:05

Um cool. So well I say to I say to the Hendrylander, I say, well, I mean You're the expert.

SPEAKER_05 1:27:11

We're just the muscle. So you let us know if you think it's the prime time to hunt.

SPEAKER_06 1:27:18

All right. He does and he starts moving deeper into the woods.

SPEAKER_05 1:27:24

We're all exhausted.

SPEAKER_09 1:27:27

Yeah, you're gonna have to make a uh vitality check. Okay, you guys press on.

SPEAKER_04 1:27:34

I succeed. Oh, actually.

SPEAKER_05 1:27:39

Do I have a penalty?

SPEAKER_04 1:27:42

I used my last quest point. Uh as long it's a six plus. Oh, six plus okay, okay.

SPEAKER_05 1:27:48

Then I I succeed. I success.

The Black Drake Strikes

SPEAKER_09 1:27:52

Alright, uh, the Hinterlander um uses his search to find the creature. Wow.

SPEAKER_04 1:28:04

Crap.

SPEAKER_06 1:28:06

He gets a crit.

SPEAKER_04 1:28:07

I got it here. We take one left turn, it's just staring at us in the woods. Yeah, it's it's actually been tracking us even before we enter the woods. Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. All right, it's like the middle of the night. You guys should be sleeping. Yeah. Um and he says you weren't.

SPEAKER_01 1:28:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 1:28:29

And uh you see something dark and shadowy move in the canopy far above you.

SPEAKER_04 1:28:39

Um, and you hear kind of like a rattling noise. Like the like a rattlesnake, kind of like that, kind of similar in nature. Similar, maybe like more throaty. Oh, okay. Like uh like how they portray the raptors in Jurassic Park.

SPEAKER_01 1:28:58

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:29:01

It um one attacks us from the Front and distracts us while another one comes from the side. There's two of them. I uh I I get I motion for everyone to get down and I turn the hand fly under I say, Well, we found it.

SPEAKER_05 1:29:15

Has it noticed us?

unknown 1:29:20

We're talking.

SPEAKER_05 1:29:22

What? What are you saying?

SPEAKER_04 1:29:26

I go to him into making a lot of noise by making a brush. He dashes off into the underbrush. He, you know, if you observe carefully, he's doing a Naruto run. Um he uh he kind of makes some noise diving into the brush, okay, leaving you guys vulnerable. Vulnerable. And the Drake, uh you see its big form swoop down from where it was perched in the trees, and uh its big yellow eyes seem to spot you.

SPEAKER_07 1:30:13

Uh Gaspacho. Gaspacho. What do you guys do?

SPEAKER_04 1:30:20

What do you do? Um I seduced the Drake. Like donkey from Shrek.

SPEAKER_08 1:30:30

Like donkey from Shrek.

SPEAKER_04 1:30:38

Um, you know what? The thing I want to do doesn't help George, but like I want to disappear. No, you should. That's fine. I have a plan. Do you have to roll it?

SPEAKER_08 1:30:52

No, I'm not gonna do it.

SPEAKER_04 1:30:54

I have a oh, I was gonna say uh I'm gonna use uh troop twins per session unless the help of an NPC bard trooper bard or anyone related to performance scene. And I want to have a traveling band come through the lost willows right now.

SPEAKER_01 1:31:08

Wow.

SPEAKER_04 1:31:11

Um, give that disadvantage.

SPEAKER_02 1:31:19

Yeah, I'm fine with it.

SPEAKER_04 1:31:20

Let's do it.

SPEAKER_02 1:31:31

Uh it was not meant to be. Uh I say, who do you hear that? Is that a is that a oh no, never mind. Uh it's not about it after all.

SPEAKER_04 1:31:39

You should just see the bodies of like Yeah, they float like wait, wait, wait, wait.

SPEAKER_08 1:31:43

I'm gonna do I'm gonna do something. I'm gonna do something off of that. When he says, hey, do you hear that? Do you hear that? I'm gonna use gang and once per session call upon a group of rascals to help. Yes. We're just gonna be the pre- I know, but I want to do something, I want to do something slightly different where all the rascals are like they're all like in a nest, like waiting to be eaten by the drake.

SPEAKER_04 1:32:04

Oh, like they're already like captured?

SPEAKER_08 1:32:06

Yeah, they're live or selecting live prey. So you're saying they would get them out? I'll still do the disadvantage. Yeah. Wait, no, I do hear something. It's just wind rattling through the bones of rascals.

SPEAKER_04 1:32:25

All right. Um you guys are in a conflict faces facing a black Drake swooping down towards you. Ben, the last thing I'm gonna do is swashbuckle um to make up an advantage fee advantageous feature about the uh area or like the you know, with individual. I'm gonna say there's we're in we're in like this thick rackish coating mud that we can totally arnold from predator and like mud ourselves.

SPEAKER_09 1:32:54

Okay. Speaking of which, uh I should probably just roll roll some location.

SPEAKER_04 1:32:59

Oh yeah, location stuff. But yes, you can uh it's not it's not true.

SPEAKER_05 1:33:10

The the mud, like you can coat yourself with it, but it slips off so fast it's not very thick.

SPEAKER_04 1:33:14

It's not enough clay in this mud. Plus I'm slime, plus your slime.

SPEAKER_09 1:33:23

Um there are hanging vines. Okay, okay, and poisonous mushrooms.

SPEAKER_04 1:33:32

Interesting. Interesting. That could help. Which tiny has been eating. He's just pounding them. He's already dead. He's built an immunity though, so he's just he himself is the poisonous mushroom now. Um this we could use this to our advantage.

SPEAKER_08 1:33:50

We might one, we may be able to poison the thing, but two, this the vines might be helpful.

SPEAKER_04 1:33:59

All right. Actually, I know what I want to do. Do vines grow around here.

SPEAKER_08 1:34:06

So is this a creature or a critter? Yes. A creature.

SPEAKER_04 1:34:12

Okay, so we technically we could parlay with it, unless it has zero parlay. Yes, you could.

SPEAKER_05 1:34:22

Oh, really?

SPEAKER_09 1:34:23

Um, but you know that the Hinterlander is not going to Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:34:29

So the parlay would just be like a distracting tactic at this point. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 1:34:35

Um plus there's all the bones of the people he's meeting.

SPEAKER_04 1:34:40

Um I I'm gonna dash, I'm gonna like shout and dash like into the vines.

SPEAKER_01 1:34:47

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 1:34:48

In an attempt to prevent from it, in an attempt to get it to run after me and prevent it from flying. Because there's like vines grabbing it like uh slow entangling, yeah, entangling its wing wings and stuff. Okay. Like it.

SPEAKER_09 1:35:07

Um make a nimbleness check or athletics.

SPEAKER_08 1:35:14

That is an 11.

SPEAKER_09 1:35:19

Okay, Brendo, what are you doing?

SPEAKER_05 1:35:22

Um I mean, I think I'm a little bit.

SPEAKER_04 1:35:27

You say that like unless you if you do something else, it's gonna kind of be random if the Drake follows Hooch. Uh, I'm gonna use the cow of Corbishi and transform into vapor. Okay. That's amazing. It blasts right through you. Yeah, just like yeah, just where I once was, yeah. That is my action.

SPEAKER_09 1:35:57

Cool.

SPEAKER_04 1:35:58

Um tiny uh was always full of crap and he frees at the first sight of the drape. Yeah. Yeah. Oh. Oh, okay. Has no fear. He wears no fear, branded apparel only. He he has enough courage to follow Hooch into the just gotta run faster than Tiny. Hanging vines, and um he himself gets caught. He does, he gets all and um not tiny, not tiny.

SPEAKER_06 1:36:38

Tiny is not gonna be in episode 15.

SPEAKER_01 1:36:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 1:36:44

Sorry, that is a plus 40. Tiny is hit by the Drake who lets loose this um oh god just spew of looks like an acidic cloud.

SPEAKER_04 1:37:06

Okay. And not only does it um harm tiny, but it like disintegrates the vines. I mean disintegrates tiny the ones around them.

SPEAKER_00 1:37:18

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_04 1:37:20

Tiny's like melting. Yeah. It hurts! It hurts! Um uh, but then you see uh a crossbow bolt.

SPEAKER_06 1:37:31

Would not have pegged him for a cross bolter. The cross bolta.

SPEAKER_04 1:37:41

Uh just hits, or actually no, it it's a grazing shot. Is the the drake is not tied up in the membrane of the wing. Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_09 1:37:54

But um Brendo, you're able to see where it came from, so you have a like a decent idea of where the hinterlander is at the moment. He's uh came from like dark bushes across the way from behind the Drake. Nice. And uh we'll go to the next round. Oh, sorry. The Drake has two actions and it just attacks uh Tiny again.

SPEAKER_08 1:38:26

Tiny's going down.

SPEAKER_04 1:38:27

Oh boy, yeah, like rakes across Tiny's chest. He's looking pretty rough.

SPEAKER_02 1:38:37

Tiny, no.

SPEAKER_09 1:38:41

All right, next round. Top of the round, what do you guys want to do?

SPEAKER_05 1:38:44

Um I'm gonna heal Tiny, I think. Okay. I am going to go to the house. Carry on. I'm gonna have to think about what I'm gonna do.

Cursed Pencil Tactics And Poison Spores

SPEAKER_04 1:38:55

It says out of combat. I'm gonna backstab the Drake.

SPEAKER_06 1:39:03

The Drake.

SPEAKER_09 1:39:22

Backstabbery in process loading, reloading. Yeah, I'm trying to get to the You will have to roll um initiative.

SPEAKER_05 1:39:37

Yeah, I have an idea of what I want to do, and it it will require some combat. Uh I wish I had root, I yeah, I wish I had that role for the next thing I'm gonna do, but we'll see.

SPEAKER_09 1:39:51

All right. You want to do it first, Brendo, or Hoochie ready?

SPEAKER_04 1:39:55

Ready to Yeah, I'm ready to do it. I just gotta get squat.

SPEAKER_08 1:40:00

It's gotta get the chart out.

SPEAKER_04 1:40:05

I can let you know.

SPEAKER_08 1:40:06

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 1:40:08

Um, um, can I change my action to owed hooch? Or no, this ode reactive thing I can do? It is. Okay, I I owed you. But it will take your action, yeah. I don't even do it. I totally I whiff big time. We both do. A productive turn. That's good stuff. That's not good stuff. Yeah. My one big damage doer. You said I gave it my turn, right? The total is four. Does have minus two defense.

SPEAKER_08 1:41:01

My total is two. I critically missed.

SPEAKER_09 1:41:05

Just drill my tiny backstabber is just a miss. So I mean you could use a quest point if you had one to make a hit.

SPEAKER_04 1:41:15

I do not have a quest point with uh quest points up front. I do not have the quest point.

SPEAKER_09 1:41:23

All right, guess it's up to uh tiny.

SPEAKER_04 1:41:28

Well, it's really up to the hinterlander at this point. Tiny's toast. Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 1:41:32

Tiny is uh hit again. Oh, he's is a hit with counter. If he survives this, which he does not.

SPEAKER_08 1:41:45

Oh he's tiny's getting eaten.

SPEAKER_09 1:41:53

The Drake flaps and turns towards Hooch. Hate the Drake. And that's a critical miss.

SPEAKER_08 1:42:01

It is a critical miss. That got me some defense.

SPEAKER_09 1:42:06

But uh let's see what happens. Roll a D6, see what the critical misses for kicks. You uh character misses and fumbles their weapon or item.

SPEAKER_04 1:42:22

Uh doesn't really have a weapon or item. Say it uh fumbles its claws, swallows some mud or something. Yeah, maybe it swallows some poison mushrooms. Uh you're like, how about you let me GM? Okay.

SPEAKER_08 1:42:40

Sit down before you fall down. I'm GM in this adventure.

SPEAKER_09 1:42:43

We'll say it gets caught in uh caught up in the hanging vines.

SPEAKER_03 1:42:49

They're caught up in you.

SPEAKER_04 1:42:52

That's uh that's helpful. You will have plus one attack against it. Next round. I will um uh okay, so should we roll initiative? The hinterlanded attacks. Yeah. We're still in the same round, I forgot. Ooh, that plus one's gonna come in handy right now.

SPEAKER_08 1:43:16

Because I've got I've got me the magnificent uh war pick with two attacks every other round.

SPEAKER_06 1:43:28

It's a war pick.

SPEAKER_08 1:43:31

Um thread to it at all.

SPEAKER_04 1:43:47

It's fine, but we've done no thread red to it.

SPEAKER_09 1:43:51

Total of two all coming from the Hinterlander. So yeah, it's next round.

unknown 1:44:02

Alright.

SPEAKER_07 1:44:10

I am going to attack it.

SPEAKER_05 1:44:14

I am also going to I can't actually attack because I'm in vapor form, but I can manipulate objects because I spent the uh so I have some ideas. Okay.

SPEAKER_08 1:44:25

Um I'm gonna attack it twice. Nice with uh once every other round. Once per combat.

SPEAKER_06 1:44:37

Attack it twice.

SPEAKER_09 1:44:38

Yeah. Go for it. Connect four. Whoops.

SPEAKER_08 1:44:46

Go for it. So that's a critical hit and a seven.

SPEAKER_09 1:44:52

They're both minus two plus one. So they're both minus one.

Tree Drop Escape And Aftermath

SPEAKER_06 1:44:58

Both minus one. So one of them is a critical hit. Still. Yeah, because it's I get I got plus one.

SPEAKER_08 1:45:09

So I'm plus three total attack. Oh no, I'm plus one attack. Oh, it's not a critical. Um, a critical and a five.

SPEAKER_09 1:45:21

Not a non-critical sorry, what is your you have plus two normally?

SPEAKER_08 1:45:25

I have plus I plus one normally.

SPEAKER_04 1:45:28

Oh, right. So and then I got I'm at plus two. So it's a minus one. Well, it's really minus two. I was I was measuring it. So it's a hit and a non-hit.

SPEAKER_08 1:45:41

Okay, got it. Um roll d6.

SPEAKER_04 1:45:45

That's two dread. All right.

SPEAKER_09 1:45:50

Doubled the output, but it it um it really just like it looks like it just deflects off its scales like you haven't done any meaningful harm to this.

SPEAKER_04 1:46:01

You're saying it has damage reduction, Ben.

SPEAKER_09 1:46:05

What I'm saying is that you've this is a huge scary creature.

SPEAKER_04 1:46:10

Yeah, we have no chance of defeating this creature. But this is fine. This is all fine because I can get away. So can I? So yeah, we can both get away. We can both get away and then we I I don't want to bail on the Hinterlander. I want him to realize it's hopeless and to leave himself. Uh, what are you doing, Brando?

SPEAKER_05 1:46:32

I'm gonna sacrifice an item to kind of buy us a window to get away.

SPEAKER_04 1:46:39

Um, can I call the Hinterlander and say, it's hopeless! We need twice as many men.

SPEAKER_09 1:46:48

He doesn't respond because he doesn't want to give away his location, but you know that he's thinking you're a coward.

SPEAKER_05 1:46:55

I hate this guy, but I love him. Um, so alright. I'm gonna risk getting hit in vapor form, uh, but I want to put the pencil, this ominous pencil in his mouth and shove it down, like shove it down his throat.

SPEAKER_04 1:47:21

You know, you know what I mean? Okay. He's gonna make him want to scratch things out in a book. It's like a really funny concept to me. Alright, how are you gonna do that? I mean, I'm just gonna saunter up to him in paper form. I mean, I you know, I know it's not that easy, but I will just treat yeah, treat it as an attack.

SPEAKER_05 1:47:44

But um, yeah, I feel like it should be okay because I'm not actually attacking, just manipulating an object. Um I'm gonna try to see if I can get close enough to do so. Oh, and he's minus one, minus two.

SPEAKER_04 1:48:00

He's oh yeah, it's minus one. Very unlikely I'm gonna be able to. Because my attack is minus one, so I'm totaled minus two. All right. Wow, nice. I say, I'm no coward, and I charge in in vapor form and and like throw this ominous pencil down his mouth. His gullet, if you will.

SPEAKER_03 1:48:28

Ominous pencil. Don't even know what it's called.

SPEAKER_04 1:48:32

We don't know what it does, do we? No, it makes you want to scratch things out in a book. That's the only thing I have written down. It happens. Um nothing immediate.

SPEAKER_09 1:48:42

Distracted him.

SPEAKER_04 1:48:43

Do we have a book? Oh, yeah. That's the only thing missing for the sequis. Just like hurl a book into the swamp and it'll go like, we'll stop it. I take um Tiny's journal off of his dead body and hurl it into the swamp. I mean, you you'd have to create that that exists.

SPEAKER_05 1:49:04

Uh, can I create that that exists?

SPEAKER_04 1:49:09

Narrator.

SPEAKER_08 1:49:13

I support it.

SPEAKER_04 1:49:16

Uh uh, I mean. Or I could I can good news it. I feel like journaling is a positive fact about an NPC. The only positive fact about him is that he's got a journal which will become a famous memoir.

SPEAKER_08 1:49:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:49:31

He was really emotionally enlightened to support his feelings in journals. Um, he's got several novels, like he's got several volumes with him. That's gonna be the good news. Like it's he's a habitual journaler. He he's very emotionally well adjusted for this reason.

SPEAKER_03 1:49:49

Inspired by Sonia and Bach.

SPEAKER_04 1:49:51

Yeah, yeah. All right, roll it, man. Uh six. Okay. Um, but it's actually just a bunch of mad libs. It's true, but like you're gonna have to dig it out of the mud. Okay. I turn I turn to hooch and say, get the journal, get the journals. I drop everything and dash towards the tiny. Yeah. It's too late. Uh it's it's the Drake's turn. Oh yeah. It's uh he's filled with a feeling he's never felt before in hatred of books. Uh hooch, you are attacked. Oh no. I will use the beetle shield to block some dread. Big beetle shields. The beetles? Uh beetles. It's a hit with a counterattack, and you take four dread.

SPEAKER_06 1:50:46

Right, I'll block the dread. I block two of it. Okay. Um and I'll attack back. It's an eleven. It's a nine. Sorry. Um three dread back.

SPEAKER_07 1:51:07

Okay.

SPEAKER_08 1:51:15

Love counterattacks. That's my one of my favorite things about combat in the light of game.

SPEAKER_04 1:51:22

The ebb and flow, the give and take, you know.

SPEAKER_08 1:51:24

Yeah. Speeds it up.

SPEAKER_04 1:51:28

Um, and then it attacks Brendo.

SPEAKER_05 1:51:31

I have a minus two defense.

SPEAKER_09 1:51:35

Actually, it uses its um breath weapon. Breath weapon to attack you both.

SPEAKER_05 1:51:41

Oh dear.

SPEAKER_09 1:51:48

Uh, that won't hit either of you. Nice. You're able to duck out of the way.

SPEAKER_04 1:51:54

Yeah. Right onto a book. It's it's moved you away from the books. That is the plus. That's the benefit for it. Yeah, yeah, totally get it.

SPEAKER_09 1:52:07

Now there's just like a mist of acid like around that area. And uh the Hinterlander attacks.

SPEAKER_05 1:52:16

He's the coward attacking from the shadows. I'm just saying that right now. I'm putting it out there.

SPEAKER_04 1:52:20

He was a real knight of Helm. He's just critted though. It doesn't matter. Coward. You need this crit. This crit, this crit. He needed a better crit than that. I mock him. Six.

SPEAKER_09 1:52:33

The Drake is taking a total of 13 dread.

SPEAKER_05 1:52:36

I mean he's almost dead, right?

unknown 1:52:40

No.

SPEAKER_05 1:52:41

Doesn't look like it.

SPEAKER_08 1:52:46

Brendo, do I go for the book or do I do something else? I have to go for the book.

SPEAKER_07 1:52:51

I have to go for the book.

SPEAKER_04 1:52:52

Yeah, I think that our book is our kind of our only real option at this point. Yeah. I mean, that's that's my interpretation. If you think you can do a lot of damage, go for it. I can definitely go for the books.

SPEAKER_08 1:53:06

I'm gonna go for the book just to reduce the risk.

SPEAKER_09 1:53:14

Alright. Um you'll have to make an athletics check to not get injured by the acid.

SPEAKER_07 1:53:26

That's a six.

SPEAKER_09 1:53:29

Alright.

SPEAKER_04 1:53:30

You take one point of dread as you get the book.

SPEAKER_08 1:53:34

I've got it.

SPEAKER_04 1:53:36

You give away your position when you Brenda, what are you doing? Um I'm gonna go for books as well.

SPEAKER_06 1:53:46

I'm gonna miss it on over there. Okay. Um I can minute I can I can dig through the mud and get the book as my action.

SPEAKER_04 1:54:00

I mean, hooch has gotten the book. Yeah, then I can I guess I can go over and and get it. And um there was what were the features of there was poison mushrooms and there was Hanging Vines. Hanging vines. I'm gonna lure him with a book into a field of poison mushrooms.

SPEAKER_08 1:54:18

Yeah, that's what I was gonna do. Yeah, I think I think toss the book into some poison mushrooms.

SPEAKER_04 1:54:23

Yeah, I'll I'll like mist it over to the poison mushrooms and like entice him with it. Okay. Um at great personal peril. You see that uh once it it looks at this book, a sort of weird gleam in its eye comes uh and it starts hacking up something. It's like coughing.

SPEAKER_05 1:54:52

Oh it's resisting the pencil.

SPEAKER_04 1:54:56

Don't you do it, don't you do it? Swallow your pills. Well, it's regurgitating the pencil.

SPEAKER_05 1:55:04

Yeah. It's unfortunate.

SPEAKER_04 1:55:06

Well, it spends a round doing that at least. Um, I uh I know what I'll do next round. If he's spending this round regurgitating the pencil, can I can I um as it comes up and he opens his mouth, can I fire a marble to knock it back down?

SPEAKER_08 1:55:29

If only I had slingshot. I used it already out of no quest points.

SPEAKER_09 1:55:34

Well, this isn't a situation where it's like resisting, it's he's like getting the pencil to out of his body.

SPEAKER_04 1:55:42

Oh oh oh he's oh he wants to use I'm sorry, I thought he was trying to get it out of his body. Okay, and he's like trying to get it into his hand. I like that he has hands, yeah. Or his mouth, his teeth. This is I I totally misinterpreted this. I'm sorry, Ben. Yeah. Because the pencil, what it does is you use the pencil to scratch out the book. This is like a hilarious situation.

SPEAKER_09 1:56:11

So it's sitting there coughing, coughing up this tiny little pencil, yeah, and uh the hinterland takes another pot shot. I say it's time, Hinterlander!

SPEAKER_02 1:56:21

End it.

SPEAKER_04 1:56:23

It's another crit. Wow. This guy, this guy, at least we're not fighting him. Whoa. It's 14 dread. Yes. Doubling the dread that you've already done. Double it. The bolt just goes into the creature's back and it like doesn't even notice because it's so focused on what it's doing.

SPEAKER_06 1:56:44

Yeah. Interesting. I haven't.

SPEAKER_09 1:56:49

Uh next round.

SPEAKER_08 1:56:52

I know what I want to do. If it's if the thing is if the thing is just standing there focused on what it's doing, then I want to use the beetle shield to knock a tree onto it.

SPEAKER_04 1:57:02

Oh, coup de gras, coup de gras. Let's go.

SPEAKER_09 1:57:05

Well, at this point it's got it's coughed up the thing into its mouth, and it's like it's like got it in its teeth, and it's going towards Brendo to scratch out the book.

SPEAKER_04 1:57:16

Oh, yeah, I still have the book. Yes, I haven't put it down yet. Yeah. I'm luring it. That's right. Brendo, drop the book, and then I'll try to knock a tree onto it. It's like one of those really awkward moments where you keep telling me to drop the book, and I'm like, what?

SPEAKER_02 1:57:28

Drop the book! No, I'm lowering it.

SPEAKER_04 1:57:31

It's already um so uh where are we at in the turn order, Ben? I know chaos is going on.

SPEAKER_09 1:57:41

You guys have actions?

SPEAKER_04 1:57:47

Yes. Yeah, so that's the turn order.

SPEAKER_05 1:57:51

I understand.

SPEAKER_04 1:57:53

Um, okay, so uh I'm going to put down the book in the field of poisonous mushrooms. And then um flutter off. Flutter off, yeah. I mean I was thinking if I could do something else, but that is probably gonna be my action for the round. I put it out to like a particularly juicy page with a lot of writing. Okay. Um and I wanna like I want to like run behind a tree and do like a running charge with a beetle shield at the tree to knock it onto where the where the Drake will be standing over the book. Awesome.

SPEAKER_09 1:58:44

Okay, uh the Drake dives for the book and starts scratching out in a really awkward way because it's a Drake with a tiny pencil.

SPEAKER_08 1:58:56

I've gotten to rough a roll of mouth to do this.

SPEAKER_09 1:59:01

It's in its mouth. And it's kind of making a mess of everything, and poisonous spores are like flying up into the air.

SPEAKER_05 1:59:12

That was my hope, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:59:15

Um make a vitality check.

SPEAKER_05 1:59:20

Okay, I've I'm I'm good with my own self things.

SPEAKER_03 1:59:24

Six Vitality. I inhale it deeply. There is sweet and cruci. Feels good.

SPEAKER_04 1:59:34

Just like mama used to make.

SPEAKER_09 1:59:37

All right. Um okay. Uh, you hear some hacking coming up from the the bush.

SPEAKER_05 1:59:48

Oh. Oh no. He's dead.

SPEAKER_09 1:59:56

Uh hooch, what are you doing?

SPEAKER_04 1:59:59

I'm going to charge a tree with a mic check to knock it over onto the drake. Mighty hooch. All right. Crit 14. Amazing. Like a like a pygmy football linebacker screaming and running.

SPEAKER_06 2:00:25

Oh, it's so good. Okay.

SPEAKER_07 2:00:27

Um say uh what's your dread?

SPEAKER_06 2:00:35

Six. D six. D six.

SPEAKER_04 2:00:47

Um say you can roll a d twelve and it's doubled. Whoa, all right, here we go. Fourteen. Ice. All right, the thing falls on the Drake and kind of cracks over it, splinters.

SPEAKER_09 2:01:06

Um, you hear a a shriek, and then there's like a big plume of more poison.

SPEAKER_08 2:01:12

Oh, yes. That could help, but the hinter might die.

SPEAKER_04 2:01:17

It's okay. You mean everyone make a vitality check again?

SPEAKER_06 2:01:24

Oh no. Eight.

SPEAKER_04 2:01:29

Six. Okay. And the hinter lander.

SPEAKER_06 2:01:38

41.

SPEAKER_05 2:01:39

Hinter, lander, hakuna, matada.

SPEAKER_09 2:01:43

Uh hinterlander. Well, he's already poisoned, so um. But the Drake starts flapping its wings, like struggling to get it free of the thing. I mean, if there was ever time to run, it's now. The creature is not dead. Um's it looking, Ben.

SPEAKER_04 2:02:07

That's my favorite question to ask as a PC. How's it looking? How's it look? Well, it's definitely struggling.

SPEAKER_08 2:02:18

I think we should like grab the hintolanter and get the heck out of here.

SPEAKER_06 2:02:22

No, because we gotta nurse him back to health, he's poisoned. It's fine. Like Brendo wants to figure out a way to kill the Drake.

SPEAKER_08 2:02:36

It's like throw rocks at it.

SPEAKER_04 2:02:38

I can't attack. I'm I'm in my mist form. Um I have to figure out a creative way to do more damage to it. I mean, it's trying to fly away, but it's but it's like wrestling with the need to be scratching out the book.

SPEAKER_05 2:02:52

Is that the kind like the conceit?

SPEAKER_09 2:02:55

No, I I think that's kind of over with.

unknown 2:02:59

Same.

SPEAKER_06 2:03:00

Well, because the we should run.

SPEAKER_09 2:03:06

Yeah. Like a tree just fell on him, so the pencil probably fell out of his mouth.

SPEAKER_04 2:03:11

And like I I retrieved the pencil then. Oh my gosh. I have no powers.

SPEAKER_09 2:03:21

It's chaos. There's like a huge plume of poisonous pores. I know.

SPEAKER_04 2:03:26

I'll I'll let it go. But does anyone hear it? Wow. No, because you're missed. Yes. I missed it.

SPEAKER_09 2:03:39

So you could stick around. Uh, I will tell you that the Drake still has a chunk of courage left. It is a level nine creature.

SPEAKER_04 2:03:51

It is amazing that we've lived this long, is what you're trying to say. It had other targets to eat, including one of our party.

SPEAKER_09 2:04:00

Very dead. Very dead. Um, I say trying to give you all the information to make an informed decision.

SPEAKER_04 2:04:08

I think that we should grab the Hinterlander and get out of here. All right, I'm gonna bag up Hooch on this. Like, I'm gonna I'm gonna rush over to the Hinterlander and like pull him out of the bushes. All right, fine. I'm fine. Kicking and screaming. Yeah, kicking and screaming if we have to. Yeah, he he's coughing and wheezing and uh his eyes are bloodshot, but he's like trying to get a shot off.

SPEAKER_09 2:04:31

We got him.

SPEAKER_08 2:04:33

We got him. I casually take the bolt out of the crossbow and be like, no, man, we gotta get waves, he's so undextrous, he can't stop me.

SPEAKER_09 2:04:44

Yeah, he grabs you, but like his his like iron grip is not as strong as it was.

SPEAKER_08 2:04:51

Alright, come on, tough guy.

SPEAKER_07 2:04:52

Let's we gotta get out of here. But we got him. We got the Drake. Peter Fix is mine.

SPEAKER_08 2:04:59

Forget the Drake, you're poisoned.

SPEAKER_09 2:05:02

Uh make some type of roll to convince him, because he might just attack you.

SPEAKER_08 2:05:12

I don't know what this poison does, but I'm gonna say, like, you're gonna die in an hour if we don't if if you if we don't pull you out now. And I'm gonna use Foobing. Alright.

SPEAKER_04 2:05:27

Okay, that's an 11. Nice. Yeah. He doesn't speak, but he's just like follows you. Alright, well, like we'll we'll prop him up between the two of us and like you know rush off into the wilderness. Looking for like a cave or anything that we can hide.

SPEAKER_09 2:05:44

Yeah, you hear the shrieks of the the Drake and like the rumble of the huge tree, like fall off of it, presumably. Um, where are you gonna hide? It's the dead of night.

SPEAKER_04 2:06:01

There, I mean, there are ample hiding spots, but uh like somewhere where we can can't like somewhere with a like cover so we can't be seen from above. If there's like a old gnarled like tree or like search for a cave.

SPEAKER_09 2:06:17

Make a search check.

SPEAKER_04 2:06:18

All right. Nice. That's a 10. Nicely job.

Wrap Up XP And Where To Find Us

SPEAKER_09 2:06:25

Yeah, you find a spot where there's no visibility of really being seen from above.

SPEAKER_08 2:06:33

Um I'll like shove the Hinterlander in there and then it's like keep an eye out.

SPEAKER_09 2:06:40

I do it. Tim Tam Tom. How's it going?

SPEAKER_06 2:06:47

Welcome.

SPEAKER_09 2:06:48

Hey guys, awesome, thank you. Uh fans of Rickety Stitch, listen to the songs. Thank you very much.

SPEAKER_04 2:06:56

Yeah, thank you. Right on Tim Tam Tom.

SPEAKER_08 2:06:58

We stream every Saturday.

SPEAKER_09 2:07:00

Yeah, we're playing uh Land of Eam, game that's based on Rickety Stitch. So we're uh playing in this big sandbox of the world that we've created.

SPEAKER_04 2:07:10

And uh, if you haven't seen this before, we're actually gonna do a crowdfunding campaign later on this year, uh in a few months, likely.

SPEAKER_09 2:07:21

Um to make this happen. This is the big map. This is uh the the mucklins where yes, Rickety Stitch traveled through in the first book, and we've built it out to be this huge thing, even though Rickety Stitch spent like five pages in it.

SPEAKER_04 2:07:39

So how insane we are. Dedicated, dedicated to your craft. Insane. You guys are all about the craft, all about the craft.

SPEAKER_09 2:07:50

It is, it is about the craft, and uh you guys have crafted an escape to get away from the the black drake future effects.

SPEAKER_04 2:08:02

Now we're uh huddled in the lost willows, ready to rest.

SPEAKER_09 2:08:08

Tiny is no more, and the Hinterlander is poisoned.

SPEAKER_05 2:08:13

Tiny has returned to the mushrooms from whence he came. Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 2:08:18

The Hinterlander is kind of like in a he's sweating, sort of in a state of hallucination. It's just like his eyes are wandering, saying, We got him.

SPEAKER_04 2:08:30

We gotta kill him. He's he's dead. What if we convince him that he Drake is dead? That will only work for a little bit, few days until we find Harn Twinbeard. Um thank you, Tim Tam Tom. That's awesome. Thank you for support. Thanks for stopping by and for reading the books. It's it's awesome.

SPEAKER_09 2:08:59

So you guys, uh what? What are you gonna do? You're gonna trick this guy?

SPEAKER_04 2:09:04

I am going to uh yeah, we are.

SPEAKER_08 2:09:07

We're gonna I'm super down with just telling him that he's dead until we can get the poison out of his system.

SPEAKER_04 2:09:14

Yes, he's crazy right now. We don't want him turning on us, essentially.

SPEAKER_08 2:09:20

You got him, man. You're gonna be a legend. Just gotta rest up. I'm a legend. Yeah, an outcast no more, a hanged man no more. You you're gonna you're gonna be the guy.

SPEAKER_05 2:09:31

Yeah, you're gonna be the guy who runs the gallows.

SPEAKER_08 2:09:34

You'll be another uh every every dungeoneer magazine from here to Mucklin Harbor. Make a trickery check. Nice. Shouldn't have used fiving, but uh critical hit. Yes! Critical! A critical.

SPEAKER_09 2:09:51

He falls asleep muttering your words.

unknown 2:09:55

Got him. Got him.

SPEAKER_09 2:09:57

Now you don't actually know if he might actually die in this time.

SPEAKER_04 2:10:02

Yeah, I know. I I'm thinking like we gotta find we gotta find a means to get him a cure, but we're like way out here. Um should should we want to make this a bigger thing and start next quest? Yeah, this is probably a good place to stop. It's been two hours.

SPEAKER_08 2:10:20

Yeah, a good place to stop. But um next quest, we've gotta figure out a a way to at least make the poison slow in his system or something.

SPEAKER_04 2:10:31

We've also got the Drake to worry about. I mean, it's yeah, it's far from you didn't really get him, you're saying. Yeah, that's a lie. Pooch had actually fooled me. Fun stuff, fun stuff, guys. Drake, three pizza pencil, is poison. Uh the pencil. High jinx. See, see, it's uh we're not a fighting party, so it makes us more we've gotta be we've we've gotta be smart about everything.

SPEAKER_05 2:11:07

If I was uh Galen right now, I would have just kept attacking it.

SPEAKER_04 2:11:11

Yeah, making me a better player, Ben.

SPEAKER_09 2:11:15

Uh let's do some quick XP. Did you complete a quest? Not yet. Did you encounter a new creature? Yes. Oh, yeah. Significant NPC encounter, yes. Hinterlander. Did you uh solve a problem in a creative way? I would say so, yes. To escape. Uh got into peril. Um, did not travel ten or more hexes. Explore a new location, uh, lost willows.

SPEAKER_04 2:11:42

Had we been here before, though?

SPEAKER_02 2:11:44

No.

SPEAKER_09 2:11:45

No.

SPEAKER_04 2:11:45

Not at all.

SPEAKER_01 2:11:46

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 2:11:46

That's five.

SPEAKER_01 2:11:48

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 2:11:51

And uh I learned a story. Oh, sorry, that's personal, that's person XP. I'm sorry. I was like excited about the group getting XP, but um okay, so five for the group. Anything else?

SPEAKER_08 2:12:04

I don't think I talked my way out of trouble. And I didn't snitch on someone, but I know exactly how I'm gonna snitch on the Hindu lander. To create hijinks, to create chaos.

SPEAKER_03 2:12:20

It's all about the Chahas. Yes.

SPEAKER_09 2:12:24

Um, I might, Brendo, I might give you a pursue personal quest. Uh really?

SPEAKER_05 2:12:39

Really? I mean, is it because I was talking about my mom?

SPEAKER_09 2:12:43

Like that in the real mode. It's true. Do you accept this?

SPEAKER_05 2:12:54

Do I accept it into my heart? I write a note about uh let me go back to my personal quest area in my in my sheet.

SPEAKER_09 2:13:04

This is my way as a GM to uh encourage you to think along these lines more of like, oh, if I do this more, I'll get more XP.

SPEAKER_04 2:13:16

That's speaking my language, man.

SPEAKER_06 2:13:20

That's classic. Okay, I've made a note.

SPEAKER_09 2:13:29

All right. Uh thanks everyone for stopping by and checking it out. Um we've got tens and tens, and maybe even not nearly a hundred episodes by now of this game.

SPEAKER_04 2:13:43

Yeah, like 200 hours of content for you to go back and watch a video on demand.

SPEAKER_09 2:13:49

It's true. It is true. And um we'll we'll be here next week.

SPEAKER_08 2:13:56

Yes, indeed. We might we might do something a little bit different next week. We haven't decided because it is May the 4th. It is Star Wars Day, and more importantly, George's birthday.

SPEAKER_04 2:14:06

I feel the opposite. I feel that May the 4th is really important because it's Star Wars Day.

SPEAKER_09 2:14:11

That is on a Wednesday.

SPEAKER_04 2:14:13

Yeah. It's not it's not actually Saturday. That's true. That's true. Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 2:14:17

But um, we'll keep you posted.

SPEAKER_04 2:14:19

Yep. Stay tuned to this channel.

SPEAKER_08 2:14:22

Yeah, until then, if you're interested in uh checking out a lot of catching up to do. Yeah, no kidding, Tim.

SPEAKER_04 2:14:32

Um, if you're interested in checking out Land Beam, um, you can go to Landaveam.com and download the free beta rules. Um, it includes this map as well as some characters and you know tons of stuff actually.

SPEAKER_09 2:14:45

And uh if you also Tim, you should uh come hang out in the Discord. Other folks there.

SPEAKER_04 2:14:52

Yeah, there's Rickety Stitch folks, Land Beam folks, anything Land Beam related, actually. It's uh the community is slowly growing. So uh yeah. Fun guys.

SPEAKER_09 2:15:05

Yeah, you are a fun guy, aren't you?

SPEAKER_05 2:15:09

And uh Tiny was a fun guy. Did did he actually actually have a name, Ben?

SPEAKER_09 2:15:15

It doesn't matter. We all knew him as Tiny, and that's who he was in our hearts.

SPEAKER_08 2:15:20

And he's gone now, but he will be remembered.

SPEAKER_04 2:15:24

Do you montag of all our moments together with Tiny? I mean, his his his journal won't be remembered because it was scratched out by a cursed pencil. Someone's gonna find that cursed pencil, some adventure in the future.

SPEAKER_09 2:15:40

All right, awesome. Yeah, until next week.

SPEAKER_04 2:15:43

Have fun, take it easy, and happy weekend.

SPEAKER_09 2:15:46

Bye bye.